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Summer tries to make up with Seth, but he's not in the mood. Che shows up and whisks Seth away on a spiritual journey, where Seth trips balls and finds his spirit animal (an otter, very cute). Seth returns feeling much better about himself and Summer, but he's not the only one who's made an astounding realization: Che had a dream where his spirit animal (a frog, probably not cute at all) got with an otter. So now Che has a thing for Seth. I think. It all freaks Julie out, who's returning home after a long day of tricking Kirsten into telling past clients that they may have caught the clap. This amoral scheme is Julie's way of making Kirsten forgive her for her amoral schemes. It works because Kirsten is too lonely to reject a friend. Ryan and Taylor are still having trouble, as Henri decides to stay in Newport permanently to win Taylor back. She'd rather be with someone who loves her even if she doesn't love him back than be with someone who can't love her as much as she needs him to, so she goes with it even though Ryan gives her a stuffed bear and writes her a poem. Lame, Taylor. Henri soon realizes that Taylor will never love him, and leaves town. Just when it looks like Taylor and Ryan are free to get back together again, she chooses herself. Lastly, Kaitlin has a run-in with one of Will's fellow band geeks who wants him all to herself. It's all fun and games until she ends up crying in the girl's bathroom. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Seth and Ryan have breakfast at the CoHouse. Seth complains that he and Summer are still dating after she broke off their engagement that neither of them wanted and both of them were trying to get out of. Ryan doesn't seem particularly concerned with Seth's stupid contrived relationship problems, as he has some real ones of his own. Meanwhile, in a cheesy split screen that gives me flashbacks to my 7th Heaven recapping days, Taylor is telling Summer that she's called Ryan seventeen times now and he hasn't returned any of her calls. Not that that stopped her from continuing to call. It's called a hint, Taylor. Get one. Ryan tells Seth that he'll call Taylor when he's "ready," and thinks that's fair enough since she lied to her "French ex-husband" about him. Do we have to keep calling him the "French ex-husband?" Isn't "ex-husband" enough of a qualifier? Seth tells Ryan to call Taylor back, saying she "doesn't respond well to neglect." You'd think she'd be used to it by now.
Summer's cell phone rings, but it's not Seth. It's Che, who Summer says is coming into town because he felt some "weird Seth vibes." It could just be a stomach bug, Bright. Might want to check on that before you come into town and continue to annoy me with your presence on this show. Speaking of people who continue to annoy me with their presence on this show, Henri-Michel calls Taylor. "Frenchie's really putting on the full-court press, huh?" Summer asks. Lest we forget that Henri-Michel is French. Taylor says she's rebuffed all of Henri-Miclueless' advances thus far. Summer wonders if Ryan's waiting to call Taylor until after Henri goes back to the "Motherland." What Motherland would that be, Summer? I just can't remember where Henri-Michel is from, as I haven't been reminded of it in the last five seconds. Ryan confirms to Seth that he is, indeed, waiting for Henri to leave. Taylor tells Summer that there's one small problem with that: Henri isn't leaving. He decided to rent a house in Newport, even though he hates it there, and wants Taylor to move in with him, even though she divorced his ass. Taylor's thinking of taking him up on the offer, since she's sick of mooching off of Summer and Julie (who is also mooching off of Summer, really) even though she hasn't seen fit to really do anything proactive about that like get a job. Way to follow those New Year's Resolutions, Miss Productive. She's hoping she can "force" herself to fall in love with Henri. Since, unlike Ryan, he's in love with her and has no problem saying it.