In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. Five months after we left Ryan holding a dying Marissa in his arms, everyone is grieving her death in an emotionally dysfunctional way that would make her proud. Julie alternates between taking pills and attempting home improvement chores, the latter with "hilarious" results. Dr. Neil is puffier than ever, despite working out in his home gym and getting a new girlfriend on the side -- the Stepmonster. Kaitlin has Luke's twin brothers doing her bidding and smokes weed in public like a moron. Taylor Townsend is supposed to be in France at school, but is actually back in Newport for some reason and trying to keep that a secret while also patronizing every single restaurant in the town. Seth is working at the comic book store and hanging out with all the Newport adults he used to despise or who used to despise him. Summer has become your typical rich white liberal-arts-college kid, complete with the desire to recycle, a friend who wears a Che shirt, and a general insufferable-know-it-all only-I-can-save-the-world-from-itself attitude. She does manage to help save Ryan, though, who has somehow gotten a job at a dive bar even though he's definitely not twenty-one. He lives in its atmospheric, dimly-lit back room that I think is the same set that used to be Volchok's apartment. Sometimes he goes out cage-fighting and gets the crap beaten out of him because of the angst. He doesn't visit the Cohens or Marissa's grave until Summer gets him to go to the comic book store, where Seth has made a comic all about him and what a great addition to the Cohen family he is. That convinces him to move back to the poolhouse. It also convinces him to take the file Julie's private investigator has compiled on Volchok's current whereabouts. Looks like that cage-fighting practice will be coming in handy soon⦠Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on The O.C.: Marissa died, and this show promised us that it would rise from her ashes. I have my doubts, but I'm determined to be more positive about this show this season, so I'm going to hope for the best.
We open five months after Marissa's death, because why show us the aftermath of such an important, show-changing event when we can watch five months after it and hear everyone talk about how sad they were before and see how/if they've moved on? Ryan's in a dingy room that I'm pretty sure used to be the set for Volchok's apartment, and Placebo's version of Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" is playing. This show just loves to use covers of really good '80s songs instead of the real thing, doesn't it? But I love both versions of this song, so I'll accept it. Ryan's face is all banged up and he answers his cell phone. He tells whoever's on the phone that he'll be right there, and then Sandy pulls up in his Lexus. Ryan lives in the back room of the Bar of Despair and Sadness, and Sandy pushes past the dregs of society to knock on Ryan's door. He begs Ryan to talk to him, because they're all worried about him and miss him, but Ryan takes off out the window instead. He gets in the Jeep he somehow owns (I guess between his other car getting totaled and his inability to function after Marissa's death, he went car shopping) and takes off.
Julie takes some pills out of her bathroom cabinet and goes to leave the house which, I'm rather surprised to see, has no remnants of the no-doubt huge "Have A Nice Dirt Nap, Marissa!" party that was thrown. Or maybe that party only existed in the viewers' homes. Anyway, Julie finds her daughter (the living one) putting on some hot leather boots and asks her why she isn't in school. "Because it's eight o'clock at night. And a Saturday," Kaitlin says. "Oh, that's nice," Julie replies. It is, isn't it? I love Saturday nights. Julie picks up the keys to her Lexus (Lexus: the Official Car of the Sinking Show) and leaves, despite Kaitlin's reminder that she isn't "supposed to be driving at night anymore." I guess they've decided that after Marissa's death, no Cooper may drive at night. Julie blows her off and Kaitlin tries to act worried.
Ryan pulls up to the Mermaid Inn and knocks on a door. Julie answers. "Hey, Ryan," she says, "c'mon in." If they're sleeping together, that would be so awesome.
Yay! Taylor Townsend's in the opening credits! Boo! Kaitlin is, too.
It's now thirty-six hours earlier. See, we're going to change the timeline up to make the show edgy and cool again. Seth brings us up-to-date on the current goings-on via a message on Summer's college answering machine: Ryan deferred college and got a job at the Bar of Sadness and Despair, even though he's too young to work in one; Sandy's back working as a Public Defender and spending his lunch hours with Seth; and Kirsten has undergone absolutely no character development, nor does she appear to be involved with her and Julie's stupid dating service anymore. Instead, she invites the Newpsies over and Seth spends time hanging out with them and laughing way too hard at Taryn's jokes. Seth also spends time with Dr. Neil now, and says he's been doing a lot of "bonding" with adults lately. Well, someone's got to act like an adult since Ryan obviously isn't. Kaitlin has taken up with Luke Ward's twin brothers Brad and Eric (one of whom is hot, the other of whom is not), who just stare at her body and exchange fist-pounds. And Taylor Townsend is enjoying France.
Seth's message gets cut off due to length after that, and we cut to Summer in her dorm room listening to it, but not picking up the phone. Bright Abbott bursts into her room and tells her they need to "get down to the quad," and I don't think anyone in college ever actually calls it "the quad" or even knows what a quad is. Also, Bright's name on this show is "Che," after his idol Che Guevara, but that's stupid so I won't call him that. It is, however, realistic. I knew a guy in college whose real name was "Arthur" but insisted on being called "Arturo." And I knew another guy who insisted that dairy was cow rape. Che is a pretty good cross between those two, I'd say. He drags Summer out to a demonstration against caged chickens, a cause she also seems to be really into. This is also pretty realistic, as that same guy who said dairy was cow rape would also drop pictures of dead caged chickens all over the Campus Center dining room tables to put us off our food. It was very difficult to eat at the Campus Center what with all the pictures of vaginas, dead Palestinians killed by evil Isreali soldiers, and rotting chickens all over the tables. Summer erases Seth's message.
Seth finally has a job. He's working at the comic book store and screaming at some poor little girl who wanted to buy a comic book based on The X-Men movie. I just can't believe someone at Fox knows that there was a comic book. You certainly wouldn't know that from seeing the last movie. Kirsten comes to work with her arms full of groceries -- a care package for Ryan, even though he doesn't really care about them -- and asks Seth to throw in some comics, but nothing "too dark." Seth doubts the care package will do any good, as Ryan has changed. But Kirsten wants to invite him over for dinner. Seth says he doubts Ryan will come, seeing as he didn't even go to Marissa's funeral. Well, neither did we.
Dr. Neil "Puff Daddy" Roberts waddles into the kitchen and sees his crazy fiancée outside taking a hedge trimmer to some hedges. He does his quick-waddle outside and tells her to stop. I'd like to point out that Julie manages to look awesome even wearing a pith helmet and a handkerchief over her face. He says that when Julie isn't going crazy on the bushes, she's "lying catatonic in bed." Julie is in denial. Dr. Neil asks her to "let [him] in" and help her. She won't.
Dr. Neil comes back inside and offers to give Kaitlin a ride to school. Kaitlin is following family tradition and wearing a ridiculously revealing top to school and says that Julie ignores her as much as she ignores Dr. Neil.
Seth knocks on Ryan's door. Ryan tells him to go away, since he's sleeping. Seth will not go away, so Ryan opens the door, grabs Kirsten's care package, and tries to close the door in Seth's face. But Seth will not be deterred and invites Ryan to dinner, saying it would mean a lot to his parents and him. Ryan actually accepts the invitation, and Seth presses his luck by inviting him out for ice cream, which is met with a Glare of Crappily Concealed And Misdirected Rage.
Over in Rhode Island, Summer and Che have set up a table outside and are begging passing students to protest caged chickens. They don't get much of a response, but that's okay -- their own sense of self-satisfaction and knowledge that they are better people than everyone else will power them through. Summer steps aside to take a call from Taylor Townsend, who speaks French and says that France is great, but she misses Summer. Summer's too busy to talk, but genuinely says she misses Taylor and hopes she's having a great time in Paris. Taylor says she will, hangs up, and her smile immediately disappears. We cut away and see that she's not in Paris at all -- she's at the diner. The diner must be thrilled to have the business -- they've lost a lot of it since the Newport kids stopped going there for breakfast every single day.
Kirsten offers Sandy a taste of the dinner she's preparing, and he whines that it's way too hot. It's kind of mean of Kirsten to shove boiling food in Sandy's mouth like that, but it's not like she has anything else to do. That was probably the most exciting thing she's done all week. The Cohens steel themselves for a dinner with a pouty, angry, sullen asshole.
Ryan walks down a smoky hallway. His Chino Wifebeater has been replaced with a Hanes White V-neck T-Shirt of Grief. He enters an employees-only room where there's a huge cagefight in progress. Dude, really? I mean... really? Do the writers watch the UFC for inspiration? That would explain a lot, actually. A guy walks up and greets Ryan, saying he didn't think he'd see him tonight after hearing him make plans with Seth. I think this guy is a little too interested in Ryan's business. "I wouldn't miss it," Ryan says with all the excitement and anticipation he can muster (which would be none). The guy says Ryan drew a small but reasonably tough-looking guy for his opponent. Ryan rejects him in favor of a much bigger, much tougher guy.
And Ryan has missed dinner with the Cohens. Sandy leaves a message for him, saying that he'd be happy to heat some dinner up for Ryan if he feels like dropping by. He begs him to call so they won't worry about him, and I know Ryan's all sad about Marissa and has never been very good at having feelings, but what a jerk he is! He knew how important the dinner was to the Cohens, and he told Seth he'd be there. He could have at least called to cancel or, better yet, told Seth at the time that he wouldn't go. Or best yet, sucked it up and went to dinner. Instead, he's pulling the angry young man version of an angsty high school cutter and getting the crap beaten out of him in a ridiculous cage fight. Ugh. Seth goes to talk to Ryan.
Meanwhile, Kaitlin is smoking weed on the Promenade, right out in the open. The Ward boys might be stupid, but they're not completely retarded, so they have a problem with this. Kaitlin scoffs at their worries and orders them to finish her chemistry homework. Then she sees Dr. Neil with a blonde woman who isn't her mother, unless Julie went on a dying binge and hacked her hair off with that hedge trimmer, which is entirely possible. But, no -- it's Gloria, the Stepmonster. We finally get to see her. Well, the back of her head, anyway. And Dr. Neil's looking awfully friendly with her. You know what's stupider than smoking weed out in the open? Cheating on your fiancée out in the open.
Seth can't find Ryan at the bar, so he calls Summer. She's too busy having a lame college party in her ridiculously luxurious dorm room's living room to answer his call. Bright plays a didgeridoo while some other guy plays the bongos and Summer Tracy Patridges it up on a wood block. Seth whines that he's having a hard time with life and would love to talk to her. He hangs up and overhears some passing ruffians talk about how "that kid from the bar is going to get his ass kicked," just like he did last week, apparently. Seth knows Ryan too well to not think they're talking about Ryan, and follows them.
Sure enough, he finds Ryan in the middle of a cagefight, smiling away while some guy whales on his face. Good plan, Ryan. Maybe while you're trying to get over Marissa's death, you can find some time to get over yourself.
Summer listens to Seth's message until Bright interrupts to say it's her turn to "jam" on the "didg." You can't jam on a didgeridoo. You just can't. Shut up, Bright. He somehow manages to look beyond his bloated ego filled with notions of environmental saviordom to notice that Summer looks upset, and she says that everyone back home is kind of a mess right now. Bright says it sure is, what with the polar ice caps melting and blah blah blah white liberal guilt. Summer says her friends haven't "moved on" like she has, and they need her. "Wherever you go, there you are," Bright says. Thanks, Bright. And remember, it will be a great day when schools get all the money they need and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. Some days, you're the pigeon. And some days, you're the statue. Mean people suck! With that, Bright takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest and his other hand on Summer's forehead. Summer responds with a perfect confused/displeased/not surprised expression.
Meanwhile, the hilarity of a mother experiencing the worst loss possible keeps on going! Julie was trying to rearrange a bookcase when it fell on top of her but, somehow, didn't kill her. Dr. Neil lifts it off while Kaitlin comes in and wonders why Dr. Neil wasn't around to help Julie rearrange the furniture. He lies that he had to do a procedure. On a Friday night.
The guy offers Ryan money for drawing a crowd of people who love to watch a five-foot-five kid get almost killed. Ryan turns the money down, because that was his pleasure. Seth walks up and tells Ryan he was "very Fight Club," and Ryan insincerely apologizes for missing dinner. Seth says his parents were even sorrier, but Ryan doesn't care. He says he's doing the Cohens "a favor" by staying away from them, and, I mean, after three years hasn't he learned ANYTHING?! How many times has he pulled this "the world is better off without me" act only to realize that the people around him really love him and want him around? It seems like the only time these characters get to change is when they cease to exist. Seth says that none of this is Ryan's fault, and he won't leave unless Ryan comes with him. Ryan asks if Seth is going to fight him, and then interrupts Seth's answer to shove him in the chest. How awesome would it be if the Cohens just wrote Ryan off completely? Let's see how fun all this self-flagellation is when you don't have a bunch of people worrying about you.
The morning, the Cohens sit down to a delicious, Ryan-free breakfast of pancakes and bacon. They pump Seth for information about Ryan, who told them last night that Ryan simply forgot about the dinner. They want to know more. But Seth doesn't say much and takes off for work, saying they should give Ryan "a little more time." That's smart. God forbid Kirsten should stop by and get punched in the face. Sandy says he's going to check on Ryan on his way home from work. He should have checked on him five months ago. They should have dragged him, kicking and screaming, to therapy.
Summer red-eyed it back to Newport and is waiting for Seth when he shows up at work. He's thrilled to see her. They kiss awkwardly on the lips and Summer says she's here to help. They hug, but things have obviously changed between them.
Dr. Neil is wearing an '80s headband and working out at the home gym for what has got to be the first time in a long time. Kaitlin suddenly appears and asks if he's been having sex with Julie lately. "My personal life is personal," is all Dr. Neil says, whereas I would've had a much stronger reaction if my soon-to-be-stepchild asked me something like that. Way to be creepy, Kaitlin. She breaks it down: she knows Dr. Neil is back with the Stepmonster, but she'll keep it from Julie if Dr. Neil buys her some really expensive leather boots, size seven and a half. Sorry, I'm still not buying that Kaitlin is like the new Julie here. I'd rather have the old Julie.
Kirsten pulls up to the Cooper House and greets the Ward twins, who are sitting outside waiting for Kaitlin to come out. Those kids are absolutely pathetic. And it's kind of weird for twin brothers to both be into the same girl and spend all their time with her like that. Ew. The Ward boys agree that Kirsten is "smokin' hot," and apparently they're making Kelly Rowan write the script now since she has nothing else to do on the set of this show. Kaitlin comes outside and tells Kirsten that Julie's in her bedroom being blissfully unaware of her surroundings. She continues down the stairs past the Ward twins, who jump on their bikes to follow her. It must be difficult for them to sit on their bikes with their little teenage boy hard-ons.
Seth apparently doesn't have to work today after all, as he and Summer stroll down the Promenade. Summer cries out against the expensive pair of leather boots being taken out of a store window (size seven and a half), saying the money those cost could free a bunch of chickens or whatever. Seth tosses a soda can in the garbage, earning him a lecture about recycling. Summer says she's in town to help Ryan, and conspicuously doesn't want to stop home and drop her stuff off. "Rally up your geek army -- I have a plan," Summer says.
Kirsten knocks on Julie's door. Julie's in bed and won't get out. Kirsten begs her to come out, and then Julie's cell phone rings. Whoever's on the other line is someone Julie is very happy to hear from. I hope it's Gus. She says she'll call him back and goes outside to give Kirsten to brush-off. Hey, remember that business you guys used to run together? Like, last season? Okay then.
Summer and Dr. Neil get a table for dinner. Summer goes off to use the bathroom (I'm guessing she's not too into recycling and saving the trees to refuse to use toilet paper), and sees Taylor Townsend grabbing take-out and trying not to be seen. If she really didn't want to be seen, she'd stop eating at the only two restaurants in town, wouldn't she? But no. Summer walks up and asks her why she isn't in France. Taylor Townsend doesn't really have an answer. Then Taylor Townsend's awesome mother walks in, much to Taylor's surprise, as she thought she was in Cabo. "You never saw me," Taylor says to Summer, and hurries out. How mysteriouzzzz.
And we're back where we started. Julie calls Ryan and tells him to meet her at the motel. Placebo comes back over a nice dissolve montage of all the characters wallowing in their sucky, Marissa-less lives, and then Julie throws a red file on the motel bed. It's from the private detective she hired to find Volchok. He found him, and Julie isn't going to give this file to the police. She's going to give it to an eighteen-year-old boy with rage issues instead. "You're the only person who can understand how I feel," she says. It's good of her to finally acknowledge Ryan and Marissa's relationship now that they've broken up and Marissa has died. She holds the file out to Ryan. "I don't want it," he says. She's shocked. He says he doesn't care about "any of it," and he doesn't want to start. Julie won't believe it; she says Ryan still cares, even if he hasn't come to Marissa's funeral or visited her grave. Ryan just walks out. I guess Julie will have to go murder Volchok on her own. If I were her, I probably would.
Back at the bar, Ryan pulls a cardboard box full o' memories out from under his bed. He looks through pictures of Marissa and then dumps them all out in the garbage. Cold, Ryan.
The morning, Summer, Seth, and the Geek Army are putting the finishing touches on Summer's master plan to get Ryan back. Well, Seth is. Everyone else is sleeping. Seth wakes them up and tells Summer she can go home and take a shower if she wants. Shockingly, she doesn't. She's a dirty hippie now, and sponge baths are fine. Plus, she really doesn't want to go home. She says she'll go get Ryan and leaves Seth with some fun facts about polar ice caps.
Summer heads for the Bar of Sadness and Despair, which doesn't even bother to ID the people who enter it. Ryan greets her and says he doesn't want to talk if that's what she's here for. She says she doesn't and looks pityingly at Ryan's bruised and battered face. She asks him to come back with her. He refuses. She tells him that he's only hurting the Cohens by acting like this, and Seth keeps clogging up her voicemail with endless messages. "Just do what I say, Atwood. One last time," she orders.
Julie attempts to use a glue gun. If only one good thing can come out of Marissa's death, it's that Julie has re-discovered her fondness for crafts. Or not, as she suddenly sweeps everything off the table. That glue gun was hot! I hope she didn't burn herself. Dr. Neil waddles in and says he just saw Kaitlin driving away in the Lexus. Julie doesn't answer him, so Dr. Neil stupidly assumes that Kaitlin told her about the Stepmonster, because Dr. Neil lives in a Three's Company world of unnecessary and contrived misunderstandings. He starts saying he didn't mean for "this to happen," but he needed someone to talk to. Then he realizes that Julie isn't even listening to his prattle. Ha!
Summer leads Ryan into the comic book store, which has shut down so the Cohens can Get Through To Ryan. Sandy and Kirsten ask Ryan to just listen, and Seth turns down the lights and turns on a slideshow of pages from his newest Atomic County comic book, which looks professionally done despite being completed a few minutes ago. Seth says it's an "origin story." Before Ryan came to town, Seth's super power was invisibility, and it sucked. Kirsten, "the Ice Queen," was shut off from the outside world. Wow, I'll bet Kirsten really appreciated that label. "The Litigator," who has some familiar gigantic eyebrows, was so consumed with everyone else's problems that he didn't take care of his own family. Then, one day, The Litigator brought home a guy who looked strangely like a young Russell Crowe. Ha ha, very meta, The O.C. This goes into a montage of pictures from the comic book and sad music to remind us all how great Season One was. There's even a drawing of that first Chrismukkah photo I love. Aww.
Sandy pulls up outside the bar and drops Ryan off. He thanks him for deigning to stop by and see them, saying it meant a lot to Kirsten and Seth, but not so much to him. Ha! He makes fun of Ryan's new job and living space, and Ryan asks, in his own way, if he can move back to the poolhouse. Of course he can! Sandy says he'll have Kirsten heat up leftovers from last night while Ryan packs. Ryan thanks him. Sandy says he knows he's pushing things, but... "being there, with her, when it happened... you're never gonna get over it. But you'll get used to it. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel. Even if it hurts." Ryan gently tells him to back off and says he'll see Sandy back home.
Summer has finally come home to bask in the glow of her successful plan. Seth thanks her. She puts her bag down and crosses her arms over her chest in the universal "I'm not giving you any tonight" gesture. Awkward silence. I thought Summer really wanted to stay with Seth and that's why she went to Brown in the first place. Now she needs her space and distance? Huh? Although this is probably part of her grieving process and need to isolate herself from everything that reminds her of Newport and Marissa. And in this way, I think Summer's reaction to Marissa's death is the most realistic, if not the most interesting, out of everyone's. Seth and Summer agree to meet for breakfast at the diner tomorrow.
Seth leaves, and Summer goes to her room. She sits on her bed and sees the ghostly figure of Marissa sitting on the bed across the hall. She closes the door.
Ryan packs up. The Fight Club guy resists the urge to kiss Ryan and asks if he wants to go another round with the guy who beat him up last night.
Summer calls Seth from a taxi cab. She leaves a message saying that she's going back to Brown tonight for a protest against seal poaching featuring Heather Mills McCartney. Woo-hoo. So, no breakfast tomorrow. And no ghost Marissa tonight.
Ryan visits Marissa's grave, a decidedly understated affair with a plain headstone that reads "Marissa Cooper. 1988-2006. Beloved Daughter, Sister, Friend." She doesn't even get a middle name? Or, like, a bigger headstone? Anything? There aren't even any flowers! Ha ha ha. Julie walks up. Ryan thanks her for meeting him. "I'm here every day," she sobs. He asks for the file. She asks him what made him change his mind. We flash back to the cagefight Ryan apparently just had where he beat the crap out of that huge guy and looked pretty hot. "I just realized... I have to do this," he says. Great. That should end well for everyone.