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Seth gets ready for his Brown interview by freaking himself out about it and how hard it will be to leave Newport. He relieves the tension by smoking some weed he gets from Super Bad-ass Kaitlin, who's dating up a storm with Johnny to get some attention from her sister. She's apparently given up getting attention from her mother, who totally forgets about her fifteenth birthday and then tries to make up for the inexcusable gaffe by throwing her a big ol' bash at the Roberts mansion, offered up by Dr. Neil as part of his continuing effort to snag himself a third wife. Ryan drags Seth's stoned ass to his interview, only to leave without making sure that Seth actually goes into the interview room. This makes it very easy for Seth to chicken out of the interview and then lie to everyone that he went through with it. Then he smokes more weed. The party ends in manufactured drama when Kaitlin and Johnny sort of make out and Marissa is sort of mad about it and Julie and Dr. Neil sort of decide to stop dating. Also, Sandy continues to suck at being a businessman as he alternates between wooing his client with churros and strippers. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Sandy runs into the kitchen, wondering where his "lucky tie" is. Kirsten produces it, saying that she just had it dry-cleaned. And then proceeded to fling it around a dirty kitchen counter. Nice one, Domestic Goddess. Sandy's got a big day at the office coming up: he's giving a proposal for a new hospital project, and he really wants the NewNewport Group to get the contract. Seth wanders in, looking gloomy. It does not go unnoticed, and he tells the group that he has been scheduled for an interview with Brown on Sunday. Now, when I applied to colleges about fifty years ago, I just scheduled an interview along with submitting my application. These days, however, it appears that colleges decide whose applications they like and then call those kids in for interviews. So it's a big deal and a good sign for Seth's Brown chances. Ryan volunteers to help Seth prepare, while the rest of his family members leave to do the more important things in their lives. Ryan asks Seth again if he's all right, and Seth says he's been waiting to leave Newport his whole life, and now that his dream is actually becoming real, his head is spinning. So much so that he pours coffee into his Mini-Wheats, a sure sign of distraction. "Newport, I hardly knew you," Seth says. "Go away," Newport replies. Newport is mean.
At school, Summer finds Seth in the hall. She's thrilled that she, too, has been called in for an interview. She's not feeling any of the anxiety that Seth is, since her "boot camp" instructor inspired her to take control of the changes in her life. When did Summer go to boot camp? Did she join the ROTC while we were all forced to watch Johnny and Marissa?
Sandy bores us to tears with his hospital proposal. Even the members of the hospital association he's pitching to seem bored as they rudely check their watches and consume bagels. Honestly, I'd almost rather have the screen monopolized by Marissa if this is all there is to see of the other characters. The head of the association is played by the same guy who played the Holo-Doctor on Star Trek: Voyager, which I don't know since I've never watched that show and am certainly not a Star Trek geek. I'm really, really cool, guys. Holodoc gets up to leave, complimenting Sandy and Matt on their presentation and letting his regret over Caleb's absence be known. Caleb died, like, LAST YEAR, dude. Get over it. Or go to the holodeck and make another one and talk to him. The association members leave to go to their meeting, a hospital pitch from NewNewport Group's rival firm. Matt informs Sandy that the rival group has been wooing the hospital association with gifts and dinners for months; Matt thinks that that will give their rivals the edge. Sandy says he told himself he wouldn't be a businessman who bribes clients. "And I respect that," says Matt, who totally doesn't.