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We're back and better than ever, as far as this season goes. After finding out that Dean Evil left a little present on his permanent record that guarantees he won't be allowed into any colleges EVER, Ryan quits school (a.k.a. tells his invisible tutor to shove off -- oh, how the rich live!), and gets a job on Johnny's uncle's fishing boat. No one's pleased by this particular turn of events, leading to a hilariously awkward farewell dinner on the eve of Ryan's fishing voyage, and Marissa tells Ryan off but good for running away from his problems just like her coward father did. Meanwhile, Summer and Seth hatch a convoluted plan to catch Taylor Townsend and Dean Evil together that I still don't understand, but it works and gets Dean Evil back to the East Coast and Ryan back into Harbor. Problem is, Ryan's already left to go fishing -- or has he? Of course not! He comes back because of what Marissa said, finds out the good news about Harbor, and the four walk on the beach and talk about how Ryan could've been a fluffer with his high-school dropout skills. Also, 7 'n 7, a.k.a The Worst Con Artist Ever, pays a crapload of money to get to Julie, who doesn't have any money to get. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Last time on The O.C.: clips are shown in a backwards order that creates more confusion than it clears up. The White Sox won the World Series against the Astros. The Astros beat the Cardinals for the National League championship to advance to the World Series. The White Sox won the American League after beating the Angels.
The culinarily-ambitious Kirsten has whipped up a special surprise for breakfast: she hid the cereal and bagels, thereby forcing Ryan and Seth to eat the Eggs Benedict and [a bunch of French words] she has created. Seth's protests are silenced with a stern "sit," and then Sandy walks in, wondering what smells. Whatever he was about to qualify that verb with is changed to "fancy" once he notices that Kirsten's cooking is the kitchen culprit. I wonder what he was actually going to say. Could it be...dancey? It probably smells like that bulimic ballerina's barf. Sandy's cell phone rings, saving him from breakfast. It's Dr. Kim, apparently just getting off working the night shift at Harbor, since she obviously isn't running the place during the day. Sandy takes her call in another room, and Seth and Ryan go back to glaring at their breakfast. Kirsten points out that this is just the beginning of all the new things they'll be introduced to when they go to college year. "Yeah, horny co-eds and alcohol poisoning," Seth answers, because he apparently wants his parents to force him to attend a commuter school. "I just don't think they're gonna have French fusion on the menu." Please, like that fancy-pants private school Harbor doesn't serve that stuff already.
Sandy returns with an odd look on his face that Ryan takes to mean Dr. Kim won't let Ryan attend tonight's college fair. Actually, since the college fair is considered a public event that's just being hosted by a private school, Ryan can go. Seth and Ryan leave to get ready for school without even trying Kirsten's breakfast. That's really rude! Perhaps they're showing that they still have some lingering issues with Kirsten and her drinking problem by refusing to accept her rehab-learned attempts to cope with it? We'll never know, since this show has decided not to address those potentially interesting storylines in favor of showing us the Borg woman from Star Trek's attempt to pull off the stupidest con in the history of ever. Sandy tells Kirsten that Dean Evil is making it his "personal crusade" to make sure that Ryan doesn't get into any good colleges by attaching a note to his permanent record warning that Ryan is "pathologically violent." Sandy and Kirsten are both disgusted by this move, although, surprisingly, they aren't mad at Ryan -- who should have known something like this would happen when he punched out the school's Dean of Discipline -- but at Dean Evil himself.