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Senior year is here, and that means villains, villains, villains! Oh, and carnivals. But mostly villains. First up is Harbor's new "Dean of Discipline," who hates Ryan and Marissa, for some reason, and manages to get half of the couple expelled -- and not the half from Chino, either -- after a thousand Harbor parents hilariously sign a freaking petition to remove the attempted rape and murder victims from the hallowed grounds of their school. This paves the way for Villian #2, Taylor Townshend, to become the new Social Committee chair, a job she's been doing for Marissa for the last year or two anyway, and without any of the AWESOME POWER such a lofty position grants. Summer doesn't like seeing Marissa's legacy of...uh...prom-planning being tarnished, so she and Seth plot to dethrone Taylor by coming up with their own plans for the Kick-Off Carnival. It works, and we're supposed to be happy to see Taylor get her comeuppance, but I just felt sorry for her, so I understood her tattling to Dean Evil that Marissa was at the carnival. He responds by roughly grabbing Marissa's arm and dragging her away, which gets him a punch in the face from Ryan the Idiot Who Never Learns, which then, in turn, gets Ryan expelled. Off to public school with you mischievous kids! Villain #3 is 7 'n 7, who convinces Kirsten to join her at her dad's cabin/makeshift halfway house. Sandy isn't too thrilled with the idea, but 7 'n 7 gets Kirsten to promise her she won't leave by crying on her gullible shoulder about how she's afraid of relapsing without Kirsten's support. Special Bonus Villain #3 1/2 is Jimmy "Julie, will you marry me so I can get Caleb's money and pay some shady guys back?" Cooper. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
It's morning in the stereotypical Kirsten-less bachelor pad. Seth is shocked to find cereal in the cabinets. Ryan reports that the milk has gone off, meaning that breakfast will have to consist of hummus and sesame beef, which no one wants. Sandy says it's important that they share a meal together, this being a "coming-of-age" moment for the Cohen family -- Ryan and Seth's first day as seniors. Ryan says they're just doing registration today. Do high schools have registration? I don't know; I went to a public school with all the other poor underprivileged people, where we took whatever classes we could get. And we walked fifteen miles to get there in the snow! And we LIKED IT. Sandy says that the Cohen family loves their coming-of-age moments, like Seth's bar mitzvah, which must have been awesome and I am sad that we didn't get a flashback here. They all comment on how Kirsten kept the house really clean with her womanly ways. "She's a woman with many talents," Sandy laments, and Seth and Ryan exchange "uh...TMI" looks. And then the three make plans for their coming-of-age dinner.
The doorbell rings. It's Julie, and Sandy tells her she has a lot of nerve showing up there. She certainly doesn't have balls, as her tight dress makes abundantly clear. Julie apologizes for that whole thing where she was trying to protect her family and reputation at the expense of any and everyone else, and then says that they need to focus on a bigger problem right now: the Harbor PTA has made a petition and "filed a motion" to have Ryan and Marissa expelled from school. Oh, ridiculous. Seth and Ryan walk by them and out the door, neither one having a problem with the fact that the woman who tried to send Ryan to jail forever is hanging out, and then Julie says that she and Sandy need to put their differences aside and work together to keep their kids in school. Until Julie goes behind everyone's back to have her daughter kept in school at Ryan's expense, of course.
Is anyone surprised when we begin the episode with Death Cab for Cutie's new single? I'm happy, though, because I really love this song. Then it got stuck in my head for the rest of the week and I wasn't so thrilled anymore. The gang gathers at the diner, where they order their last pre-registration breakfast. Summer is sad that all these traditions she just made up are coming to an end. Marissa and Ryan say they'd just like to graduate school without any more drama. I think we can safely assume that is not going to happen. Summer would rather focus on talking about stuff that's important to her, like making her senior year totally awesome. This seems to directly contradict Ryan and Marissa's desire for a drama-less year, but everyone agrees with Summer.