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While quirky music plays, coastal scenes bring us to The Big House and a close-up of Seth's pensive face. As the camera slowly pulls away, he announces, "So what's it gonna be, huh? You want your menorah or a candy cane? Hmmm...Christmas or Chanukah?" A wide-eyed Ryan stutters a complete lack of response, and Seth, wearing a Mr. Darcy sweater with reindeer on it, rushes to tell him not to worry about it, because "in this house, you don't have to choose!" He continues, "Allow me to introduce you to a little something that I like to call...Chrismukkah!" Mid-sentence, Seth turns to place the candy cane and menorah on the mantel to free his hands for the dramatic "Chrismukkah" proclamation. Ryan hesitantly echoes, "Chrismukkah," as Seth decrees that it's the new holiday and is "sweeping the nation." From outside, Sandy's voice bellows that they got the tree; we see Kirsten and Sandy struggling through the door with it as Seth adds, "Or at least the living room."
Sandy yells for some help, and Ryan lends a hand while Seth barks orders. He announces that he "saved a spot" for the tree, and tells the laborers to "put [their] muscle into it" and not to hurt the tree because "those needles are brittle." As the tree lands safely in the stand, Seth claps and gives them an A+. Shaking his head in amazement, he says, "I love -- I love the holidays! I love 'em all!" Kirsten sidebars to Ryan that they didn't really know how to raise Seth, and Seth jumps in to add, "So I raised myself! And in doing so, I created the greatest super-holiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer." The camera zooms from Kirsten to Sandy on the "Christianity and Judaism" parts, in case we haven't figured it out yet. Ryan concludes that Seth named it "Chrismukkah" and Seth cover his mouth with his hand, whispering that just hearing Ryan say it makes him feel "all festive."
Seth further explains that for Sandy, "a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx," Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie. He embraces the grinning Sandy by the shoulders, who nods his head in amused confirmation. Seth turns to Kirsten, identifying her as "Waspy McWasp"; he puts his arm around her as he says that her holiday meant a tree, stockings, and all the trimmings. Sandy adds, "We're very proud," but Kirsten is not nearly so entertained and counters, "I'm not a Wasp." Seth dismisses this claim with a quick and efficient,"Sure you're not." Hee. Seth continues that "other highlights include eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents," and then asks what Ryan thinks. Ryan thinks it "sounds great...for you guys." Sandy quickly points out that it's for Ryan, too, and Seth encourages him to "dip a toe in the Chrismukkah pool," because there's room for all of them.
Ryan looks increasingly uncomfortable as Kirsten asks whether there isn't an Atwood tradition he'd like to incorporate into Seth's "�ber-holiday?" Ryan awkwardly explains that "Atwoods and holidays...it's not a good combination." Sandy asks what the Atwoods did to celebrate, and Ryan dodges the question with a "No thanks." The Cohens can't take a hint and further push the issue as Seth insists to Ryan that there has to be something. Ryan reveals that his holiday memories consist of his drunk mother, and ass-kickings. Aw. The Cohens look mortified. As well they should. Because if Ryan wants to share, he'll share, but I think they know enough about him by now not to push. Anyway, Sandy claims that this year will be "entirely different," but that's debatable, what with Thanksgiving and this and this and this. Kirsten nicely says that they'll all have new memories this year, and that it will be great. Seth grins as Ryan unenthusiastically agrees, "Yeah, well, whatever you want me to do, I'll do." Seth extends his arms for a hug, but Ryan keeps his head down and walks past him and out of the room, leaving Seth to conclude, "Oy, humbug." Hee. Kirsten justifies that it's a big holiday for anyone. Sandy says he's still wrapping his head around it, and suggests that they give Ryan some time. Kirsten is ready to trim the tree, but Seth's not ready to move on quite yet. He tells them that Ryan will soon learn the "magic of Chrismukkah," further sermonizing, "Worry not, I will convert him." He closes his eyes, raises a little bell, and rings it right into the credits.