Previously: Trump cares so much about the recession that he's going to continue to get richer and hire one more person. Last week, they sold ice cream in New York, and the women won. Project manager (and sociopath) David took James and Alex to the boardroom and boring Alex was sent packing. But, before Trump told the women they won, Poppy and Liza got into it. And they took their fight back to the suite with them. Speaking of, Liza's fighting with Poppy, Brandy, and mostly Stephanie back in the suite now. Liza explains that the reason she's so passionate and emotional is that she is here fighting for her two boys. James and David come back in, and James explains to everyone that he isn't a total loser. But he knows he better watch his back, with how quickly everyone turned on him. Condensed "Money, money, money."
Even though we didn't get to see Gene's meeting with Trump last week for winning the first task, we have to endure Poppy's with Jack Welch. It's all ass-kissing and him giving her a scholarship to business school. Then the teams are lined up on a street somewhere when Trump and the Trumplets join them. Trump tells them this week's task is to run a hotel and spa for dogs. They will also be asked to create a "value add" for their customers. Don explains they'll be judged on execution, creativity of their value add, and the overall experience. Oh, and Cesar Millan is going to visit. Cesar and the hotel owners will judge the task. James steps up to project manage Octane, which gets David all fired up to lose and send James home. Tyana will project manage Fortitude.
As they drive away in the van, James wants to "spitball" ideas. Wade (who?!) says he always had dogs, and would have really liked some instant gratification way to check in on them. So, of course, the solution is a webcam. James thinks that's a real value add. David says he'll be able to make that happen, no problem.
In the Fortitude van, Mahsa says she's afraid of dogs, and she never had a dog, but her mom had a salon, so she wants to handle reception. But Tyana also wants to handle reception. Her reason? "I currently hold the title of Miss Cougar California," she says, because she walks in a room and commands a presence. Ugh. (Note: Sadly, it seems Miss Cougar California is a real thing.) Anyway, Mahsa is, like, so pissed that Tyana's going to work reception. She, in fact, calls her "a jealous cow."
After she's gone, Wade -- who James put on decorating instead of working with dogs, even though he's the dog lover -- is back with decorations. James hates it and decides to change things up. So David takes over to go back to making a grand entrance, but James wants him on the webcam, and is happy with the simplified Astroturf entrance they're going with now. Like everything, it's totally exasperating for David. And, like everything David does, his behavior is exasperating for James, who's like, "How does he think he'll turn a binder clip into a nail?" David goes back to do the webcam, but James calls him out to talk again. James clearly cannot handle David, so he kicks him out and asks someone else if they can set up webcams. David says fine, and "have fun failing." Then he goes outside and says he now has a reason to rip someone from ass to elbow. He's out for blood. And, as crazy as this guy is, I think he might actually mean this literally. Hey, at least it would make this season less boring!
Fortitude. Liza explains her job was decorating, so she's printing the banners and signs. Stephanie speed-talks through an interview about how Liza didn't train in any specific station today, unlike everyone else, because it took her all day to do the banners. And, fifteen minutes before the deadline, the printing company calls to say they can't download the artwork, so everyone is like, "Off with Liza's head!" Because she's like poison or something. It is starting to feel a little racist to have all of these white, white blonds ganging up on the African American. I mean, come on, it's not like she's Omarosa, for God's sake. That role would be played this season by Mahsa.
Finally, it's doggie day care time. The dog walking (or sitting with dogs, in the case of James and a lazy Boston terrier), poop cleaning, massaging, webcamming, and goodie-bag-giving commence. Then Cesar shows up at Fortitude, where Tyana's practically squealing with delight. She explains "Tail Wag Tuesday": They provide a personal photo, a report card, and a doggie bag. Cesar awesomely judges the teams just like he judges dogs on his show. He says that Tyana's energy was "calm, assertive energy," and "she was there for the pack." He really likes seeing the team effort. He does have to tell Mahsa and Kelly that they committed a "big no-no" by reaching down to touch a dog that's eating. If that's the biggest criticism of their team that the editors could fine, I'd say the ladies are in the clear on this one.
Cesar shows up , with both owners/judges in tow, at Fortitude. James babbles and blahs and can't explain at all what's going on, so Clint tries to explain the webcams, and Tone-Deaf James is like, "Uh, we'll explain that." Cesar says there were too many leaders in one pack in the men's territory. Which is sort of the whole point of this show, but I get the criticism: James should have asserted himself as the leader, but was unable to. Just like most people with their dogs. Cesar does very much like the webcams. He says that's a way to bring people in and blow them away. Cesar then watches Steuart vacuum a dog, and leaves. James is happy with his team. We'll just see about that in the boardroom, now, won't we?
And now here we are, with the teams all lined up in the boardroom. Trump enters and asks James if he likes dogs (he does), and if his team was a dog. James says his team was actually terrific. Trump, unhappy not to find the drama he's looking for, moves on to the sure thing: David, who of course says he didn't think much of James at all as project manager, and that he doesn't respect him at all. David explains his conflict with James over the question he wanted to ask and was shut down on. James agrees he did shut down the question, which was something that should be saved for later.
Trump asks Gene what he thinks, and he says that David actually didn't want to be sidelined, but James was trying to minimize the disruption. Gene says they lost a critical set of hands, but it's the project manager's decision. David would like to explain what happened. He gets all dramatic and acts like an innocent about it, and they bring up the great "making nails out of a binder clip" debate of 2010. It goes nowhere and no one really cares, so Trump asks Clint about James. He brings up the mistake James made with the owner at the table. Ivanka asks James if that shows a fundamental lack of judgment, but James doesn't think it does. He wanted to put all the pieces together. Don points out getting information from the owner would have helped him formulate his plan.
Trump moves on to Tyana, and asks if her team won. She thinks it's "a really good possibility." She says that everyone, at the end of the task, completed their portion of the task. Trump asks if there was any weakness in people being afraid of dogs, which of course leads to Mahsa, who raises her hand and says she was terrified, but not anymore, and "in the end, I came out victorious." Trump asks if it was obvious Mahsa was afraid of dogs, and why would Tyana put Mahsa with dogs. Tyana lies that she didn't know the extend of Mahsa's fear, and that she didn't want her at the front desk. Mahsa says she would have put herself at the front desk, and that she thinks Tyana's a terrible project manager. Tyana says that if the Mahsa that exists in Mahsa's head were the real Mahsa, Trump should just give her the job, but she's not.
Trump shushes them and asks Anand his opinion. Anand says James was a poor leader, and no one respects him. Trump says that's strong, and asks James what he thinks of that. James says he knew, after the last task, that he need to have more respect for the people on his team, so he made that clear to everyone. Anand asks James how he can earn respect from his teammates when he doesn't even respect the business owner. Trump asks James who he's bringing to the boardroom, and he says David and Wade. Big mistake, I think, to bring the guy who came up with the only thing the judges liked: the webcams. Wade asks why, and James says Wade's content to float in the background, so his contributions are sub par.
We don't get to see the women turn off their TV, or see the guys file out or get called back. Instead, Wade, David, and James are lined up in the boardroom when we return from commercial. Wade says he has no idea why he was brought back, since he's a dog lover and brought good ideas to the table. He also says David helped execute the ideas. He says that David's passionate, and Wade respects that, but James didn't know how to harness that. Wade says he didn't respect James either. Trump tells James no one respects him, and asks his educational background. James went to Duke and then Georgetown Law. Trump thinks that's a great education, and James says he's used to working with people of a different mind-set. Trump asks if he means more intelligent than David, but James doesn't want to say that. Don asks if James's air of elitism could be what puts off his teammates. James says if that's what it is, he'll use that criticism going forward and try to improve.
David acknowledges that James is intelligent, but he has no experience. Trump points out David's own bad experience with extended unemployment isn't exactly something to be thrilled about. Trump says that James went to great schools, but David is a little down and out right now. Then he tells James that David was successful until about a year ago, when the economy killed him. He asks Wade who he'd fire (did he forget what Wade said two minutes ago?), and Wade says, "Absolutely James. Wholeheartedly. Our team's better off." Wade tells Trump if he fires James, he'll step up and be project manager week and show him how he can lead David.
Trump tells James he's so disappointed with him in so many ways. Then he tells David he's a wiseass, and Ivanka was right about the dismissive eye-rolling. But he's not the reason the team lost, which was because of James. So, he has to say, "James, you're fired." He sends them all away and scowls after them. In the lobby, Wade tells James not to let the door hit him in the ass. You know, it would be pretty difficult for an elevator door to hit you in the ass. James just shakes his head. He's a tool, but at least he didn't resort to the low blows the rest of the people on this season are so fond of. Trump says he really thought that was pretty obvious, and the Trumplets agree.
Taxicab confession: James says he respects Trump's decision. It was a tough loss, but he's walking away with his head held high. Then we find out James is now working at the New York Attorney General's Office. He says he couldn't do what he does had he not run a doggie day care center. I think he's joking. week: David freaks out about Steuart telling the truth about him muttering a profanity in front of the owner. It looks like Mahsa's the project manager, and that she and Tyana still hate each other all the way to the boardroom. Much to Trump's amusement.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon,. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.