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The Jenningses' mission this week is to get a bug into the home of the U.S. Secretary of Defense, in preparation for a key meeting with a British official. Philip already has an in with the wife of the deputy undersecretary, and by "in," I mean they're doing it. She scopes out the Secretary's home office for Philip, but she may end up being more trouble than she's worth, since she's crazy in love with "Scott" (Philip's Swedish alias) and maybe just crazy.
Armed with photography of the Secretary's office, the Jenningses decide to target the housekeeper -- Heylia James from Weeds -- in order to get her to plant a bug in the clock on the shelf. They do this by injecting a toxin into her son and telling her to swipe the clock out and return it bugged or else her son dies. She's a religious woman, Heylia, which worries Philip, but she swipes the clock as told. And despite one unfortunate incident where her brother tries to take Philip out, the mission is running smoothly. But when it comes time to put the bugged clock back, she gets an attack of conscience. She's a woman of God and won't help a devil like Philip. So it looks like everything has gone to hell, until Philip comes to her house and puts a pillow over her son's face. It's one thing to let go and let God and hope the toxin doesn't kill him. It's another to watch him getting smothered in front of you. So Heylia agrees to plant the clock. She does, and now the KGB can listen in on top-secret discussions about missile shields.
Meanwhile, Agent Stan at first seems like he's just needlessly harassing an electronics-shop owner for the relatively minor sin of purchasing black-market caviar. But the young woman selling it to him is a Soviet diplomat, and catching her in the act means Stan can flip her (guess those draconian Soviet punishments are backfiring). So now Stan's got someone on the inside, kinda.
Finally, all that time spent with Heylia and her son, witnessing that fierce motherly instinct, has gotten Elizabeth thinking about her own motherly instincts. Paige is growing up fast, and Elizabeth decides that rather than just kneejerk-disapproving of her Americanization, she's going to take a moment to bond with her daughter and pierce her ears. Like all such mother-daughter ear-piercings, it's sweet, primal, and a little bit bloody.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Philip and Elizabeth are married Soviet spies; Stan is the FBI agent door.
Currently: this week's episode begins much in the same way as last week's: with covert sexytimes. This time around, however, it's Philip putting the moves on some poor unsuspecting Washingtonian. She's young and blonde and she calls him "Scott."
Cut to Philip and Elizabeth at their cover job, which turns out to be at a travel agency. Philip is fretting about this woman, how she's not going to hold up to whatever they want her to do. Elizabeth is less concerned. Sounds like this woman's husband is a Defense department someone-or-other and she's been passing along information well enough so far. She obviously has the one talent they need: the ability to get men to turn their brains off. "It's brought down empires," Elizabeth says, getting her first taste of 1980s-style American battle-of-the-sexes comedy. Philip doesn't think she cares about empires. "She cares about Scott Berkland, patriotic Swedish intelligence office." WOW. When no more elegant solution is available, I guess you do just shove your exposition in wherever you can. Philip isn't so sure she cares that much about Scott either. "She's half off her rocker."
That night, at a dinner party, Mrs. Off Her Rocker is hanging around her husband and his pals as they discuss K-19 missiles with nuclear capability. She excuses herself to go "look something up," like, powdering your nose doesn't make you look smart enough, as excuses go? She sneaks into the office of whosever house this is and starts taking photographs with the camera that "Scott" helped embed in her bra earlier. This is not Alias type stealthiness. This is clunky, 1980s camera-shoved-into-your-bra espionage. Two guards come into the office, tell her the area is off limits, and then ask her to come with them. Gulp.
At home, Elizabeth tries to get Philip not to worry that things have gone wrong. He is off to the rendezvous point to meet his lady. He tells Elizabeth that if something did go wrong, it means he's walking into a room full of FBI agents, so, you know, cross your fingers.
Philip heads to the hotel room -- putting on his blue-eyed Swedish contact lenses as he walks down the hall because he's apparently terrible with time-management skills -- and cases the hallway for signs that the jig is up. None. He knocks on the door at the end of the hall, and it's only his girl on the other side. She's still got her bra-cam elaborately strapped to her chest, and she's positively giddy about how she almost got caught, but once she told the guards that her husband was the "deputy Undersecretary of Defense" (no pictures, please), they backed off real quick. She's so proud of herself, telling "Scott" how she carried herself exactly as he told her to. He's happy she pulled it off. Then, she gets serious for a second, and Philip gets the uh-oh face. And with good reason. Here's the speech about how she hasn't felt this way about anyone ever. She loves him. Philip hesitates for a second before deciding to just go all in and say he loves her too. Because what else is he gonna do? She gets on top of him and says she wants him inside her, which is always a gross thing to hear other people talk about, and FX maybe agrees because they beat a hasty retreat into the opening credits.
After the break, Team Jennings is developing photos from the bra-cam in a dark room (where? Who cares!), and Elizabeth is going on and on about how crazy Reagan is and going over the plan with Philip. They both identify the clock on the shelf as an item they could swap out pretty easily. Philip suggests a nine-month infiltration plan, followed by a one-day swap out. Oooh, will the whole season be about getting this clock??? I HOPE SO. Anyway, Elizabeth gets a look at Mrs. Deputy Undersecretary and is all, "bitch look GOOD," but Philip gets all weird about it because FIGURE YOUR ROMANTIC SHIT OUT, DR. ZHIVAGO, DAMN.
Elsewhere, Agents Stan and Chris are staking out an electronics store and talking about how Agent Bartholomew got bounced to a different division as punishment for the Timoshev disaster. It's just as well; "Bartholomew" is a bitch to type quickly. They're watching a twentysomething brunette walk into an electronics store, and when she comes out seconds later with a big ol' wrapped box, Stan gets suspicious. And because he's The Impulsive One (he gets results, you stupid chief!), Stan gets out of the car and, ignoring the woman they're supposed to be tailing, barges into the electronics store. Inside, Stan and Chris throw their weight around, bullying the proprietor, who looks like that handyman guy from Murphy Brown. He stonewalls their intrusive questions about the woman who was just there, which causes Stan to get more aggressive. He goes behind the counter, threatens to beat the guy senseless, and Chris pulls a tin of Russian caviar out from under the counter. When the guy still won't tell them who the woman is, they take his caviar. Ain't that always the way? Fuckin' cops taking your caviar.
At the Soviet Embassy in Washington, a conversation is being had about how quickly to bug Defense Secretary Weinberger's house. The more cautious of the two men, Vasili, is looking at surveillance photos of the clock and also the Weinbergers' maid (Tonye Patano, a.k.a. Heylia James from Weeds!), while the other guy, more of a hardliner, is saying that with British Prime Minister Thatcher and her Defense Minister coming to town this week, they need to get ears on the scheduled meeting between Weinberger and Defense Minister Nott. The only people who can get an operation up that quickly are Directorate S (and you'll recall Philip anticipated the mission could take nine months). Vasili is incredulous, especially considering just last week they lost a Directorate S officer (R.I.P. Cuteski). But Hardliner is insistent upon Directorate S participation (oh for Pete's sake, just call K Directorate and Anna Espinoza and get this shit taken care of in an hour). Vasili says he's going over Hardliner's head, to General Zhukov, but Hardliner says that Zhukov doesn't have the power he once did. Ah, this must be what Zhukov was talking about last week, about how everybody in the KGB has gone psycho-crazy. Sounds fun.
Later, Philip and Elizabeth are at work, looking at the printout of their coded orders. Guess nobody thought it would be interesting to see how they actually get their orders. Anyway, Philip thinks the three-day timeframe is fucking stupid, but Elizabeth says they're orders, and you know orders are the only thing Elizabeth loves more than following orders is not getting too attached to her kids. She's all, "But General Zhukov said things would be getting harder!" and he gets all Kevin Walker-condescending, like, "Are you being serious? Do you hear yourself? Because you sound like a fucking moron."
thing we know, Elizabeth is sitting in the courtyard of a local college, dressed up like a woman looking for a job as a nanny. Not a sexy nanny, either, but a real one. Her dumb wig du jour us made even dumber by the fact that it's the same color as her real hair, so she could have just styled it differently. She spots a student across the way and begins to stride in his direction. She's carrying an umbrella, and when she hits a button, the thing sprouts a needle at the end. She pretends to fall and ends up subtly sticking that needle into the ankle of the student she's stalking. Phase One (of whatever dumbshit plan this is): complete.
That night, the Jenningses are getting ready to go out for the night. The babysitter is having dinner with the kids. Philip asks Elizabeth if she finished with "the Kruzinsky package," and she says nice. Great code! They head out, though not before Elizabeth stops to cluck disapprovingly at Paige's red bra strap. "Things are different than when you grew up," Paige impatiently tells her mom. "People are, like, freer." HA! "Also, Brezhnev isn't in charge anymore, Mom."
Not sure where the Jenningses said they were going, but after a stop to the Dumb Disguise Factory (Philip's got a molester-stache!), they arrive at the apartment of Heylia from Weeds. She opens the door, and Philip says they need to talk about her son. "Is there something wrong?" He says yes, and they both barge in. Philip makes sure no one else is home -- just her son, lying on his bed. Philip breaks it down for her: her son (the guy from the college) has been poisoned, and only Philip has the antidote. If her son doesn't get the antidote in 72 hours, he will die. In order to obtain said antidote and save her son's Heylia is to retrieve the clock from her employer Secretary Weinberger's study and give it to Philip, then he will give it to her to return the day, "one-two." He is going to leave his "nurse" (Elizabeth) here with her to take care of the son in the interim (indeed, she's already fetching him a glass of water). Heylia predictably freaks out and tries to run and scream for the police, but Philip subdues her. He convinces her that the clock is her only way out of this. He leaves her with Elizabeth, as she mutters, "Please God" to herself, over and over.
After the break, Team Jennings is readying for bed, and Philip is fretting about all that God talk coming from Heylia. It's an unpredictable factor, and it plays into Philip's dissatisfaction about not being able to do proper prep on this mission. He's also looking out the window for signs of Stan's car. He anticipates some late nights on this mission, and he'd rather not be crossing paths with Stan at 4 AM. Elizabeth wonders if he's still suspicious after last week's garage break-in, but Philip seems to think that finding nothing in that trunk made Stan feel foolish. Best to be wary of him, of course, but if he had any real suspicions of them, the Feds would already be busting down their door. Fair point. Elizabeth then starts to think out loud about what would happen to the kids if anything should befall them. "Henry would adjust," she says, but Paige..." Well, look at that. Elizabeth expressing concern for her children! Philip tries to convince her they'd both be fine, but Elizabeth thinks Paige is delicate. Not sure if someone like Elizabeth means that as a weakness or not.
The day, Heylia's at work, cleaning the study, eyeing that clock. She makes a move for it but is interrupted by Mrs. Weinberger, who seems very nice as far as rich people who employ domestic servants go. Much more Jessica Chastain than Bryce Dallas Howard. (BTW, Heylia's character is actually named "Viola," and I wonder/worry if that's an intentional homage to The Help.) She thinks Heylia looks tired, and Heylia vamps about not being able to sleep well because she worries about Grayson. Not because he's been poisoned by Soviet spies, though! Oh no! Just worrying about how he's dealing with college. "And to think we almost lost him," Heylia says, which is cryptic, but she says thanks to Mr. and Mrs. W, they didn't. Okay! Mrs. W takes her leave, and Heylia goes back to eyeing that clock.
At the travel agency, Elizabeth reports that Grayson looked really bad today, and Heylia almost lost it. She's worried that Heylia's going to crack under the pressure and alert the authorities. Philip could be walking into a total trap when he goes to retrieve the clock. He tells her not to worry and hugs her, and when he does, he notices the gun on her hip. If it goes bad, she explains, she's not going to allow herself to be arrested. She'd be locked away, tortured, forced to betray their every belief if they want to see their kids again. Interesting that she no longer trusts herself not to betray the motherland for her children. So she'd ride the bullet out of this world before that happened and trust Philip to explain it to their children.
So was Elizabeth right to be worried? Philip shows up in his awful wig and mustache (he should be more wary of the FASHION police, HA HA HA!) and enters the apartment without knocking. Heylia approaches him warily and answers his questions about how she absconded with the clock. Suddenly, at the doorway, there's a huge dude with a gun pointed at Philip, shouting, "Give it to me!" Philip puts his hands up, meekly, asking please not to be shot because then he can't administer the antidote. He's walking slowly towards the gunman, though, and when he gets close enough, he starts with the hand-to-hand combat, which you'll recall he's quite good at. Fight, fight, struggle, struggle. Heylia cries out for "Albert" as Philip drives him into a wall. Albert grabs a knife from the kitchen and momentarily gains the upper hand, driving Philip to the ground, but Philip rebounds and locks his legs around Albert's head like he's Famke Janssen. Heylia is screaming and distressed as Philip takes Albert's arm and breaks it. Maybe just dislocates his shoulder. Philip then goes for his gun as Heylia explains that this is her brother, who swore to her he wouldn't try anything. She's frantic now, worried that she's doomed her boy. "He's my life," she cries. Philip makes sure Albert hasn't told anyone, then threatens Heylia that she's never to tell anybody else, ever, not even after it's all done, not on her death bed. "We can find out anywhere," he assures her. She believes him. She retrieves the clock for him, and Philip leaves with it. Hoping the neighbors didn't call the cops after all that commotion, I suppose.
At home, Elizabeth awkwardly approaches Paige about going to the mall this weekend. Paige correctly assumes this is about buying bras, and she tells her mom that's not something girls her age do with their moms. She goes back to her homework/ignoring her mom. Elizabeth tries to start another conversation, with "In a few years..." but Paige isn't paying attention. When Elizabeth does get her attention, she abandons whatever thing she was going to say and merely tells her daughter she loves her. For all the show's faults, I am enjoying the way Keri Russell plays Elizabeth's lack of intimacy with her kids. It's rather unshowy, even if the script is spelling it out in capital letters.
Down in the garage, Philip is installing the bug in the clock. Elizabeth is alarmed when she sees he's hurt, and he explains to her about the brother. She's worried he went to the police. Philip is worried this entire mission is a giant shitshow. They test out the bug -- it works! Hooray and all that.
Philip then goes upstairs and tells Henry to brush his teeth. Henry says he just did, but he is s LYING CHILD and Philip knows it. "If I check your toothbrush right now and it's dry..." he says. Henry's like, "Then you'll what?" Philip just stares at him and crosses his arms. He's already dislocated one shoulder tonight.
Stan returns home to find a note that "we went to the movies." The wife and the teenage son? Together? That's kind of adorable. I hope Elizabeth finds out and gets insanely jealous of such a close bond. He looks out his window and sees Philip and Henry playing some late-night hockey in the driveway, so he saunters on over. Philip finishes up the game and sends Henry inside (where he hopefully will actually brush his teeth this time). He and Stan then small-talk like two neighbors who weren't both in the garage last week, one snooping in a truck, the other armed with a gun. I love how Philip's love of hockey is a weird little tell for his Soviet origins. You'd think the Directorate S protocols would dictate that he be a Redskins fan. They get to talking about suburb live vs. city like and idyllic Americana and blah blah blah. Stan finally pulls his trump card: the tin of caviar he stole from the shop owner. Interested? thing, both men are inside, eating caviar off of tortilla chips and drinking beer. I don't know if this is just garden-variety trying to get closer to his suspects or if Stan is looking for a specific reaction from Philip, but since Philip isn't like, "RUSSIAN CAVIAR, MOTHER'S MILK" about it, I don't think Stan's getting much out of this encounter.
After the break, Philip finds Heylia on her walk to work and hands her the wrapped clock. He says she's to put it back where she found it, and the antidote is hers. "Don't you worry about God?" she asks him. He matter-of-factly tells her no. He worries about her, about her son, about what will happen if she doesn't put the clock back. He should worry about the manufacturers of his mustache glue. Shit's looking loose today.
Elsewhere, those fucking pig cops Stan and Chris are back harassing the stereo shop owner. They still want to know who that woman was and what she wanted. Stereo Guy continues to admirably stand up for the right of privacy, but Stan has Chris (whom he calls the Bureau's un-fireable minority agent) put a chokehold on the guy and stuff his mouth full of speaker padding. These guys. Fuck these guys.
At the Weinbergers', Heylia is about to put the clock back on the shelf when she's interrupted by Mrs. W walking down the stairs. Heylia looks jumpy, yes, but hesitant, too.
Meanwhile, Philip has driven off into the woods somewhere so he can listen in on the clock bug. But all he gets is static.
The day, at the travel agency, Philip tells Elizabeth that Heylia never put the clock back. They're both so pissed. So the mission is blown. They have to assume she's gone to the cops. They can't go back to her apartment. The son is going to die. And the police will know it was the KGB. Philip thinks it serves him right for rushing the mission, but at least they themselves weren't blown. Elizabeth gets the crazy notion that they can finish the mission themselves, whatever that means. She says they don't know for sure that Heylia's gone to the cops. Philip thinks it's crazy to assume otherwise. Their argument is interrupted by a coded phone call, an urgent signal from Mrs. Deputy Undersecretary (whose name is Annelise, it seems).
Elsewhere, Agent Chris and Agent John-Boy are in a van surveilling a meet up between Stan and the woman from the electronics store. They're at a fruit stand, and Stan approaches her very casually. He tells her upfront that he's an FBI agent, so she clams right up, but he explains what he knows: she's trading caviar for stereo equipment and also some cash; she likely stole the caviar from her embassy; she's using diplomatic pouches to send the stereo equipment and cash back home to her family, where they can sell the equipment for more cash. If her bosses found out about this, she'd likely be sent off to a Siberian labor camp, threatens Stan. Or else he cannot tell her bosses, and she'll start working for him. He wants her to nod if that's her decision. Poor girl. She waits, she weighs her options, and ultimately, she nods. Successful trip to the fruit stand for Agent Stan.
Philip picks up Annelise by the side of the road and starts driving. So what was her big emergency? Well, just that she's your standard Unstable Bitch. Every thriller's gotta have one. She's going crazy without "Scott," she can't deal with being stuck with her husband while Scott is off doing God knows what. She threatens to go to the police, which is a mistake. He pulls over and tries to talk her down. She starts spinning off about him taking her to Sweden, taking a desk job there, or perhaps doing "something terribly masculine" like chopping wood or something with reindeer. Now she's being all flirty, talking about doing it on a bearskin rug and such. He's like, "That's very tempting," but she wants him to just say yes. Just for tonight. "I know it isn't real." Girl wants to be strung along. She needs to be strung along. So he says yes and they make out and she imagines their fake like in Sweden. Then, without warning, she gets out of the car and starts ... walking home, I guess. "I'll see you later," she says, all weird and threatening. Yeah, he's gonna have to kill her one of these weeks, huh?
Looks like Elizabeth made it one more trip to Heylia's house, and no cops are in sight. Heylia is dabbing her son with a cool cloth, but it's not going to do any good. Elizabeth begs her to put the clock back and end this, but Heylia doesn't trust a thing she says. And when Philip arrives, she looks him dead in the eye and says, "I know the devil." He tells her one more time to put the clock back, but she says she doesn't have to listen to him. "I listen to my Lord," she says, "he protects me." Philip decides to challenge that assertion by grabbing a pillow and placing it over Grayson's face. Heylia screams for him to stop, but Elizabeth restrains her. She counts down the seconds for Heylia to do something to save him. Heylia finally agrees -- she swears to God that she will return the clock. Philip finally relents but gives her a deadline of tomorrow, or else the poison kills Grayson anyway. The Jenningses then return to their car and feel really bad about their life choices right now. Elizabeth takes her husband's hand, which is a new and notable development for them.
After the break, Heylia's back at work, and she successfully returns the clock to its old position before Mrs. W can catch her. In his car, Philip is relieved to hear that the bug is in place. He sets up the recording device in his trunk, then calls Elizabeth to signal her to administer the antidote. She incredibly relieved not to have this boy's death on her conscience.
At home, the Jenningses celebrate with a Glad We Didn't Have to Kill Any Innocents dinner. Featuring that Russian caviar from Stan. So... a half-full tin of caviar, then? Fancy. Elizabeth says her family, like his, grew up poor, so they never had this kind of stuff. They both kind of giggle about their fancy cocktail hour. I kind of love how appropriately '80s it is to hold up caviar as the height of decadence. Elizabeth then starts to talk about how today, in the apartment, she got the feeling that things were about to go bad, and her mind flashed to Paige and Henry ... and Philip. "They shouldn't ask us to do impossible things," she says, coming around to his point of view. In return, Philip concedes that what the KGB is after must be really big, and they were successful, so good for them. Now they have ears in the Secretary of Defense's home. Not bad.
At the FBI, Agent John-Boy and the crew are celebrating their acquisition of a source inside the KGB Rezidentura. First time they've had that in a while. Stan even gets a congratulatory phone call from the President... 's Chief of Staff. Still, though! You can see a bit of jealousy on Chris's face that Stan is getting most of the credit here.
That night, Elizabeth wakes Paige up and offers to pierce her ears. Paige is wary: "Mom, this is an odd request to be making in the middle of the night, are you sure you're not a KGB agent?" Or not. She's actually into it, and we end up with a sweet moment, where Elizabeth is like, "You can go to the mall and do it with your friends, or I could do it right here." Her mom pierced her ears around Paige's age, actually. And so while I wonder about Elizabeth and Philip's parents and what stories they told their kids about why they have no other family, Elizabeth gets to the business of piercing her daughter's ears. Meanwhile, Philip watches his son sleep and cries about what he had to do to another person's son today. As Elizabeth punctures her daughter's earlobe, there's a drop of blood. Red blood. COMMUNIST RED BLOOD.
At the Soviet embassy, Stan's inside gal tries to eavesdrop on some conversations, as we follow Vasili and Hardliner back to their offices. Inside, hardliner produces a radio and they begin to listen in on the Defense Secretary and Defense Minister's conversation. When the topic turns to plans for a ballistic missile shield, their faces get very grave.
Joe R doesn't want to get into a whole thing about ballistic missile shields. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.