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The teams head from Edinburgh to Belfast, Northern Ireland via train and ferry, and soon find themselves struggling with driving directions. At Peatlands Park, a Roadblock requires Anthony, Katie, Mona, and Jennifer to don wetsuits and go bog-snorkeling. Mona freaks out, but at least she makes it on the first try. Unlike Jennifer, who tries to quit in the middle of her second attempt.
After the bog, teams head back to town to look for something called "a thing with a ring," a sculpture where they find the clue to the Detour. That turns out to be a choice between either serving historically accurate meals at the dry dock where the Titanic was built, or finishing a graffiti project at an indoor skate/bike park. Most of the teams go for the former, which proves challenging in a) the distance racers have to schlep the food, b) figuring out what to bring to whom and in what order, and, surprisingly, c) knowing what "chartreuse" means. Max & Katie win their third leg in a row when they become the first ones to check in at the last Pit Stop, Ulster Hall, just seconds ahead of Bates & Anthony.
However, Mona & Beth prove completely lost at the serving Detour, insistently missing the first step, while Caroline & Jennifer get lost just looking for the painting Detour. Eventually both teams find their way, and it's supposedly a close race for the last slot in the final three. Which ends up going to Mona & Beth, as much as they can't believe it. So Bates & Anthony are going to have to race to the Finish Line without their girlfriends.
When the final leg starts, it requires racers to travel by ferry over the rough Irish Sea to Liverpool and then by train to London, where they have to order a pint before they can learn their final destination city: Washington, D.C. Everyone spends the night together at Heathrow before flying across the pond en masse. They then race to the Lincoln Memorial to stand on the spot where Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech. From there, it's off to 1100 Pennsylvania Avenue, which the clue says is where they'll meet Secret Service agents for a photo op with President Obama. Mona & Beth get so excited they head to 1600 Pennsylvania instead, thinking they get to visit the White House. Instead, Max & Katie are in the lead as they reach the correct address, which is a cheesy gift shop where they'll pose for a fake post card. Bates & Anthony are in second place en route to a cloak-and-dagger Switchback Roadblock at the Tidal Basin. Here, the racers have to use spy code phrases to check through a small army of costumed secret agents to claim a briefcase that's just for them. The combo for each briefcase ends up being each team's rank in New Zealand, Indonesia, and Vietnam respectively. Bates finishes first, while Beth also catches up to a completely flummoxed Max.
At Nationals Park, Bates dresses up as a giant baseball to try to catch a baseball dropped by Anthony, who is gliding overhead on a zip line. Beth also passes Max at the Tidal Basin, but Team Newlywed hijacks the derby moms' cab and steals second place back. The hockey brothers complete their game of catch and head to Hains Point, after which Max repeatedly drops the ball while Mona & Beth wander the stadium aimlessly in search of the clue.
Thus the hockey brothers are the first team to reach the final challenge, which includes a giant ball pit filled with inflatable globes the size of beach balls. The goal there is to locate globes where the countries they've visited are highlighted, and put them on stands in the correct order to get their last clue. The hockey brothers finish first and head to the Finish Line at Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington.
After 17 attempts at the baseball task, Mona joins Max in the giant ball pit for the final challenge while Bates & Anthony stress out over whether they're going to right place. Katie & Max switch jobs, and finish the globe challenge in second. The derby moms also switch, just before Bates & Anthony coast to an easy first-place finish, which will certainly improve their dating prospects with Caroline & Jennifer. Max & Katie finish their honeymoon in second place, and Mona & Beth are team number three. Also, in medical news, Dave has his surgery stitches out and plans to be off his crutches in a week. Not the most exciting finish ever, but at least there are fireworks. Even if they're only the literal kind.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We get the standard season finale's ultra-long previouslies reintroducing us to the final four teams, as though this show has a huge audience that only watches the last week, which it probably doesn't. And if it did, the ultra-long previouslies are likely to put a stop to that.
"Edinburgh has been the capital city of Scotland since the fifteenth century," Phil narrates over visuals of the place, "and is divided into two distinctive areas: New Town and Old Town, a world heritage site." Of course we mostly see Old Town, and the bridge that connects the two segments, until we join Phil at the location of the leg's Pit Stop: the narrow alley known as Niddry Street. He also says that's the start of the eleventh leg in a race around the world, but once again the leg is not starting quite where the one ended. Instead, it's on some other local street to a couple of the U.K.'s iconic red phone booths, in clear view of Edinburgh Castle, which looms on the hilltop overhead. Max & Katie, who again won the leg, are starting this one at 4:07 PM, when it's already dusk. Too bad they don't have time to head up to the castle and check out the haggis buffet.
Max reads from the leg's first clue that they're heading to the capital of Northern Ireland. For further clarification, Phil narrates that the teams will take a train to Stranraer, Scotland, then board a ferry (a big one, by the looks of it) that will take them across the Irish Sea to Belfast. After disembarking, they'll have to locate a warehouse where product-placed vehicles are waiting for them so they can drive themselves to Peatlands Park for their clue. Max & Katie start searching for a cab. The weather in Edinburgh isn't so great today, so they're doing a pre-leg interview with the hoods up on their electric-blue rain jackets as Max says that after winning the last two legs, he feels like they're "the hot team heating up." He's confident about their chances to make the final three. Considering who one of the other teams is, I don't entirely blame him.
It's even darker when Bates & Anthony open their clue in second place, at 4:15 PM, but not completely dark; more like the color of the sky at 11 PM when I was there one May. In other words, there's clearly a big difference between the longest and shortest days there. They're having a little more trouble flagging down a cab in the rain than Team Newlywed did. Before starting the leg, they interview that Mona & Beth have to go, being the strongest competitors left in the race. "Including ourselves," Bates says with false modesty. I think this has more to do with alliances than strategy, as so many of this season's allegedly strategic decisions have been. Back in the race, they pause to look at a street sign and decide they might be within walking range. Which tends to get further when no cabs are stopping anyway.
Max & Katie make it to the station and come in out of the rain, closely followed somehow by Bates & Anthony, and both teams end up getting on the same train out of town. For all the good it's going to do them.
Caroline & Jennifer are starting in a relatively distant third, at 5:27 PM (it's fully dark by now, obviously). Right now, their main reaction to the news that they're headed to Belfast is that it's going to be cold there. Before they start, Caroline interviews that the main reason they've made it to the final four is all of their positive energy. I disagree; I think the main reason they've made it to the final four is Caroline. Jennifer adds that they've been friends for seven years, and they go on about how they're the little engine that could. They manage to flag down a cab and immediately make friends with their driver, Charlie. So clearly they're sticking with the positive energy theory.
The last place team, Mona & Beth, are leaving exactly two house later at 7:27 PM, which is actually pretty impressive. After all, they landed in Edinburgh during the leg more than two hours behind the other teams, plus they had a Speed Bump and the U-Turn to contend with. Mona mentions as much in an interview, but Beth says it's no more than they expected, given how nervous they make people. She adds that even though they're good friends, their whole relationship is centered around competition, which she thinks gives them an edge. That must be why they're one of the two remaining teams that haven't won a leg yet.
The first train pulls into Stranraer, Scotland, with the hockey brothers and Team Newlywed aboard. They take cabs to the ferry station, where they learn that the ferry is at 7:30 in the morning. "Looks like we're sleeping here," Katie obviouslies. And it also looks like the other teams will be joining them. It's later -- and colder -- when the country singers and the derby moms arrive at the station, happy to make it inside the warm terminal. Beth interviews quietly about how it's nice to see everybody still here, rather than having figured out a faster route and left them behind somehow. Like that would happen two legs in a row. Speaking of which, Max smugly rubs their leg's setback in Mona's face, asking her how it felt when she and Mona and Team YouTube got to the parking lot and found only two cars there. "You're still here, so it doesn't matter," he smirks. "I'm sorry, I gotta laugh." Yes, he seems quite sorry. The Amazing Editors salt the moment liberally with flashbacks to last week, and Max interviews that he also told the derby moms that he U-Turned them. "You know, they knew," he shrugs. Maybe because of the photo of you on the big sign saying you did it? Mona and Beth wouldn't exactly have to be master detectives to piece those clues together. Back in the station, Beth lets Max off the hook, saying they would have done the same thing. Which we already know, because we saw them and Team YouTube saying they would back when they still thought they would get the opportunity. But in an interview, Beth says that it doesn't make any sense to help "absolutely the strongest team in the race when you're down to four teams." Meaning Bates & Anthony. True, but alliances don't always behave rationally. This one, for instance, puts up with Max & Katie.
The ferry pushes off at 7:30 the morning, just as the sun is beginning to rise over the Irish Sea. Like we saw before, this is a pretty big boat. Not to mention well appointed, with an information desk and a computer lab that gives the teams the opportunity to do a little advance research on Belfast. Beyond what I'm sure they already know from U2 songs, of course. "This is the calm before the storm," Bates interviews while chilling with Anthony in the lounge. "Once it's go time, it's everybody for themselves." Even the country singers? The boat approaches the harbor, and Katie vows, "Once we get that clue and we're in Ireland and racing, it's game over." That would have sounded a lot more badass had she used the correct preposition.
So here we are in Belfast, with obligatory deedly-deedly music playing on the soundtrack over shots of various landmarks and Northern Ireland's flag. And then the racers are sprinting down the gangplank, across parking lots and down the waterfront road to the warehouse they're looking for. They scramble inside, hop into the cars and drive off. Beth & Mona are very briefly in the lead, until Max passes them during Beth's confusion over how to get onto the M2 and the roller girls end up trapped in their lane. "You're a navigatin' machine, Katie!" Max says, and spots Bates & Anthony in his mirror. He probably can't hear Bates's fake leprechaun voice in the backseat of the Belfast hockey-mobile, though. Katie realizes they might have overshot their turn, and has Max pull a U-ey, which the brothers emulate. "Maybe that was a sharp right," Bates deadpans. However, Beth remains confident that they're going the right way and continues driving in that direction. Caroline wonders if she should turn around, but Jennifer says from the back seat that they should stay the course. "We have officially been separated from the boys. That sucks." Not if they're going the wrong way and you're going the right way, Sparky.
But she's not. Instead, Max spots the sign for Peatlands Park and lead Bates & Anthony in. Meanwhile, Beth has to pull over to get directions from a local and gets pointed back the way they came, so the two all-female teams have to turn around. At the park, the two teams who went the right way are running in, Max saying they shouldn't give up their lead for the rest of the day. Like anybody ever does voluntarily. They run up the paved path and eventually make it to a collection of rustic buildings and a clue box. This is a Roadblock that opens with the question, "Who wants to get bogged down?" I'm thinking that everyone would probably prefer not to, this being a race and all. Katie reads on that racers will "participate in a bog snorkeling competition." Cut to Phil in a warm, comfortable pub, hoisting a Guinness as he says, "Conceived over a pint of beer, teams will now take part in what might be the quirkiest sport on earth." Wait, how does Phil know that all of the remaining teams were conceived over a pint of beer? How comprehensive are those application forms, anyway?
Now Phil's out in the bog, walking along a muddy ditch that some hapless PA is thrashing through in a wetsuit as Phil completes the thought: "Bog snorkeling. This Roadblock requires teams to race in the murky marsh." They'll ride a kiddie train out to the bog, and then put on a mask, snorkel, full wetsuit with hood, and flippers to cannonball into a mud pit. So far, so gross. Then they'll have to jump into some opaque water and do a 100-yard lap down a boggy straightaway -- actually fifty yards and back -- within four minutes. After they've completed that, "the Bog Snorkeling Official will hand them their clue." The "Bog Snorkeling Official" is an older gentleman in a rather unforgiving wetsuit of his own. Also: "Bog Snorkeling Official"? The two lead teams find the train and board it, Max still obsessed with his lead as always. It's like his precioussss.
Beth figures she and Mona may have lost a few minutes with their unintended small-d detour, but they soon spot the parking lot, with the country singers pulling in just ahead of them. However, the derby moms pass them on the footpath to the clue box and open it in third place. Mona and Jennifer end up taking this one for their respective teams, mainly by default, and run for the train. On the first one -- which may actually be the same train, so the other two teams might have to wait a while -- Katie vocally dreads "snorkeling in freezing cold water and it's going to be not cool." Max, with his oft-demonstrated empathy that frequently rises to the level of a superpower, mock-grimaces when she's not looking. They jump off the train, and suddenly we're inside a changing tent with Bates & Anthony. "The hardest part for me," Bates volunteers in an interview, "was trying to help squeeze his junk into that wetsuit." TMI, Bates. Anthony's jumping up and down to try to get zipped in, while Max & Katie do a little more straightforward grappling. "You look amazing right now," Max says as Katie finally stomps out of the tent in her flippers without sparing him a glance. But given the face he's making behind her, that's probably for the best that she doesn't.
The other two teams are waiting for the train to come back. Mona interviews that because she had only done five Roadblocks to Beth's six, she had to do this one, but she was a little nervous about it. "They're not gonna make us get in the water, right?" asks Jennifer. So Mona's not the only one.
The Bog Snorkeling Official blows his whistle (like a BOS, naturally), and Anthony cannonballs into the mud. Bates helps haul him out using a long white pole for Anthony to grab onto, and then they step over to a small wooden footbridge that spans the narrow ditch. Anthony jumps off of this and starts swimming. His post-leg interview indicates that the main challenge was getting dirt in his mask and mud up his nose, but at least that allows both him and Bates to make some honker cracks. Anthony reaches the other small bridge at the far end of the lane and turns around to come back, as Max points out to Katie how Anthony is using his feet and advises her to do the same. "This is not part of the honeymoon trip," Katie wants on record. Anthony has barely burned two minutes of his allotted four as he climbs back onto the bridge and out of the bog, and then makes the short dash to the nearby finish sign, to which a digital timer is set up on a 55-gallon drum. This stops at 2:18, so they earn their clue by a wide margin. This one tells them, "Drive back to Belfast and find The Thing with the Ring." Bates doesn't know what that is, and we don't get much explanation other than a shot of a large wire sculpture of a figure holding a hoop aloft. We won't be learning much about it; not even its name until later, for reasons that will become apparent at the time.
On the train ride, Mona is telling us, "Two things that I hate are being cold and in dirty water." Beth assures her she'll be fine, and then shakes her head at the passing trees. I suspect that right now, two things that Beth hates are Mona and Mona.
Katie hits the mud so hard that Max jumps back with the pole to avoid getting splashed, but he manages to help her out. "Careful, don't fall," he repeats as she runs over to the bridge, slipping several times before she jumps in the ditch. During the swim out, she's virtually zooming along as Max tells us that Katie prefers tanning on the beach to actually swimming in the water, let alone in a bog. It's not like she'd get much sun in that wetsuit anyway.
The other two teams have arrived at the bog, and Beth apparently isn't running fast enough for Mona after they get off the train. The country singers are behind them, noticing the smell of the bog. Max watches as Katie, who apparently peaked really early on this task, switches to a backstroke and reaches the far end with a minute down. Her performance goes downhill fast on the return, as her mask fogs up and she stops swimming because she's somehow lost, in a shallow ditch fifty yards long and no wider than a residential hallway. Eventually she makes it back to the starting point, climbs out and wanders blindly over to the finish line, where she knocks over the timer that's now reading 3:09. She interviews how glad she was to have made it, "Because there was no way I was doing that again." They get their clue for the Thing with the Ring, and I don't know how Max refrained from making a joke about his best man.
Mona interviews that she's not sure she's ever been this scared, which would seem to indicate a low danger tolerance for someone who competes in roller derby. Hell, the ones I know jump through the ice into a Minnesota lake every winter. Mona does a shallow cannonball into the mud pit, hauls herself out while emitting high-pitched moans of panic through her snorkel, and hits the ditch. She swims to the far end -- still freaking out -- and turns around, asking, "Where am I?" Beth interviews that this was the one moment on the race when she didn't think Mona would pull it out. Indeed, Mona's freaking as she struggles up the ladder and across the tall grass to the clock, which stops at 2:52. "Seriously, I don't know that I have ever been that... crazy," Mona interviews. After opening the clue, Beth leads her off to the tent, where she's still in a panic all the way through the removal of her wetsuit. Or at least all the way through the part that can be shown on TV.
Bates and Anthony are back on the road, en route to Belfast to seek the Thing with the Ring. "Definitely going to need some local expertise on that one," Bates says.
Jennifer disappears into the mud pit, gets helped out by the pole-wielding Caroline and commences the bog-swim. Caroline tells us that of the two of them, she's the much better swimmer, and she wishes she were doing this instead. Too bad she drafted Jennifer for it at the clue box, then. Meanwhile, Max and Katie (now dressed again) are running by in the background. At the far end of the lane, Jennifer mistakenly climbs the bridge and jumps off the other side, into what turns out to be much thicker mud. Swimming in that is not only off-course, it's a nonstarter; in fact, she can barely climb out to get back onto the bridge. Caroline is getting more and more stressed out watching her, as the clock ticks toward three minutes. She cheers her on until the clock hits four minutes while Jenifer is still slowly wallowing her way back, at which point she says, rather coldly, "Jen, you might as well stop exerting yourself, you're already over four minutes." With mud around her mouth that makes her look like she's in a chocolate-eating contest, Jennifer weepily says she doesn't think she can do it again, but Caroline isn't about to let her quit. While they're heading back to the tent so Jennifer can warm up, the Bog Snorkeling Official flags them down to explain to Jennifer that she wasted time climbing over that bridge when she didn't have to, which is unusually helpful for a task judge on this show. Jennifer continues whining that she can't do it again, but Caroline is not even trying to hear that.
In the Peatlands Park parking lot, Max & Katie have asked a local for directions to the Thing with the Ring. As Beth & Mona run by on their way back to their car, the woman loudly blares that "IT'S ON THE ALBERT BRIDGE," both causing Max to try to shush her and causing Mona to veer around to listen in. Cut to both Team Newlywed and the derby moms back on the motorway, one behind the other, as Max complains about how much he hates being followed. That's just the cost of being as awesome as you are, Max.
Back at the bog, Caroline is guiding Jennifer back to the ditch, advising her to focus on the positive. Jennifer complains about how claustrophobic it is so Caroline offers to loosen her mask for her. Yes, letting bog water in should help. Jennifer bucks up and takes another run at it, vanishing entirely into the mud pit before running over and jumping back into the ditch. This time Caroline walks along the side of the ditch keeping pace with her, giving encouragement as she goes. Well, given the speed Jennifer's going, it's not so much "walking" as "browsing." But it doesn't work; halfway to the turnaround point, Jennifer not only stops swimming, she starts climbing out of the ditch, saying she can't do it. Caroline looks like it's taking everything she has not to wind up her foot and kick her back in. She ends up walking back to the tent with her again, but Caroline remains quite clear that Jennifer is not quitting. I'm not sure what's so scary about that bog, because right now Caroline is much scarier.
Bates and Anthony are discovering that "Trying to get somewhere in Belfast is not easy," as they're stuck in traffic. Basically it looks like an Asian traffic jam but with wider lanes and nicer cars. Thus Katie spots the sculpture first and points it out to Max. Beth and Mona can't help noticing it as well, being in the car right behind them and all. Team Newlywed parks and runs across the busy street to the clue box at the foot of the sculpture and rips open a clue for a Detour: "Tray It or Spray It." Now here's Phil, strolling along the bottom of a vast rectangular pit as he announces, "'Tray It' requires team to descend into the dry dock where one of the most famous ocean liners in history was built: the RMS Titanic." Never heard of it. This actually turns out to be a food-serving challenge. There's a kitchen tent set up at ground level to the dry dock, with a menu board listing the courses for a meal. Each team will also take a seating chart for one table, showing the names of six diners and their choice of the courses for which a choice was available. Using this information, they'll have "serve five courses of actual dishes served on the Titanic."
But to whom? Well, to the formally dressed diners who are all set up in a big party tent in the bottom of the dry dock, as though they showed up for a formal dinner on the ship a hundred years too late, but were determined to go through with it anyway. Each table of six is overseen by a tuxedoed headwaiter whose job it will be to act as each team's task judge. One racer will have to load the serving trays in the kitchen tent, while the other will have to carry them down six flights of steps at the end of the dry dock and about a hundred yards to middle of the hole to deliver them to the first class passengers. And of course it all needs to be the correct stuff in the correct order, to the correct diners. Once they've accomplished that, a greybeard dressed as Captain Smith will hand them their clue. And then, presumably, the doors to the harbor will open, the dry dock will flood with seawater, and two-thirds of the dinner guests will die. Sorry, was that too soon?
Phil doesn't even bother trying to draw a connection between that and "Spray It," which appears to be set at a converted warehouse filled of ramps, trick cyclists and skateboarders. Phil's narration calls it "this popular urban sports and art center," which I'm pretty sure just leached all the cool out of it. The teams who choose this option will have to finish a graffiti project on one door of a large steel utility cabinet, using a 3x5 photo as their only guide. The "crew" will give them their clue once they're satisfied. Hmm, tricky and subjective, but much easier to describe.
So Max & Katie decide to go with "Tray It." They ask the first passerby where the Titanic was built, and he simply points out toward the waterfront. It's not like something that big is going to be easy to miss. Mona and Beth are choosing the same option. Both teams are gone by the time Bates & Anthony show up to open the clue and decide on "Tray It," mainly on the basis of their current proximity to the dry dock. They're soon back in their car, looking for Queen's Road, while Beth & Mona are still trying to figure out how to get into their car and go there.
Inside the changing tent to the bog, Jennifer is already half out of her wetsuit, but Caroline is still not letting her quit. In an interview, Caroline recalls Jennifer coaching her through her "bagpipe fiasco," so she can frame this as returning the favor and not just wanting to avoid losing the race.
In Belfast, Max & Katie are the first team to arrive at the Titanic Dry Dock, which has signage indicating that it's now something of a tourist attraction. Somber pennywhistle music accompanies shots of the commemorative plaques indicating its historical significance as Katie VOs with appropriate respect, "Basically it was just a giant hole in the ground." To be fair, she finishes, "where you could envision this massive ship being built." They find the kitchen tent, the entrance to which is dominated by the big menu board on an easel. Hanging below that is a little pouch containing laminated seating charts for each of the tables in play, so that each team can pick one. Each table is a six-top, with the diagram showing where each passenger sits and two of the five courses they've selected --the other three being the same for everyone, not that this is entirely clear yet. Max & Katie don white gloves and black pinstripe aprons and try to make sense out of how they're supposed to serve a five-course meal using only the two courses listed on the chart. The Amazing Editors take a moment to show us what they're missing: namely, the fact that everyone's getting the same first course listed on the menu board at the entrance, Oysters a la Russe.
Oblivious to this, Max & Katie set out to arrange their soup plates on the serving tray while a chef rubs his chin nervously. A minute later, Max is about to leave with a fully but incorrectly laden plate, but Katie wisely pauses to take a look at the menu board to see what they're missing and figures it out. So they head back and load up oysters for everyone like they're supposed to. With Max carrying the tray, they walk half the length of the dry dock to the top of the stairs, where Katie takes the tray and starts heading down while Max returns to the kitchen tent to load up the course. Katie soon realizes she got the fuzzy end of this particular lollipop. When she reaches the dining tent, there's a string quartet there playing for the diners, only unlike on the actual Titanic, this one includes women and they're not playing "Nearer My God to Thee." Katie sets the plates down on a table and the headwaiter tells the diners, "Bon appetit." Which, along with a little "ding" sound effect and an onscreen graphic of the Titanic, signals that the first course is complete. Katie picks her serving tray up off the rug takes off for the second course. Sort of.
In the changing tent, Caroline gets down on her knees in front of Jennifer and leads her in prayer. Jennifer interviews afterward that they promised each other they'd never quit, and she knew she had to finish for Caroline. "And for me." Yeah, I'm thinking mostly for Caroline. So Jennifer gets back out there, repeats the cannonball, fishes herself out and gets back in the ditch. This time she seems to not be in such a panicked rush, breathing and moving more calmly. Caroline interviews afterward that she thought if Jennifer didn't make it this time that would be it, but at the time she tells Jennifer from the side of the ditch, "I've never been more proud of you in my whole life." Jennifer is swimming back now, with the clock at 3:18. She's climbing out by 3:38, and Caroline's encouragement gets more urgent as she guides her to the finish by the sound of her voice. Jennifer makes it by mere seconds, but the point is that they've finally finished the Roadblock and have their Thing with the Ring clue. Caroline leads her back to the changing tent, saying she's so proud of Jennifer for not quitting. Well, it wasn't for lack of trying.
Bates & Anthony arrive at the dry dock, and Bates decides to do the serving. As he's looking over the tables of food, Max & Katie interview how the second course was a choice of two different kinds of soup, and each passenger had a specific choice that they'd have to be sure to get right. Plus, they had to figure out for themselves which was consommé and which was cream of barley, because there are no labels to any of the bowls and none of the kitchen staff is talking. Max meets Katie at the top of the stairs with the soup course, and she decides they should switch jobs so Max is doing the physical and Katie the mental. Max seems to agree with this strategy or else he's not smart enough to argue it. Whatever the case, he successfully delivers the soup course, so they have two down and three to go.
Up top, Anthony has already sent Bates off running with a plate full of soup before looking at the main menu board and realizing his mistake. By this time, Bates is already setting out the dishes of soup down below. "This is not what these people ordered," the headwaiter informs him, and this time the graphic of the Titanic reads "REJECTED" and is accompanied by the sound of a foghorn. Bates sighs in frustration and endures the glares of his disappointed diners, and then loads the tray back up to carry it back. When Mona & Beth show up, they make the same mistake that the other two teams did at first, starting right off with the soup and ignoring the main menu board that clearly says everyone starts with the oysters. Mona heads down with the tray. Why is there no salad course? I bet iceberg lettuce would be a big hit.
Here's a confusing shot: we're over a spot in the Northern Irish countryside where a huge circle is marked out in the grass, with five paths leading to a stone cairn in the center. What the hell is this place? Oops, it's the Giant's Ring, where the owner of It's Dead Handy has erroneously directed Jennifer and Caroline. That is not handy, and if the gentleman were here with them, he would be dead. However, at least now we know why Phil didn't tell us what the correct Thing with the Ring was called; if he had, we'd have known right away that Mr. It's Dead Handy was steering the country singers wrong. They, however, are a little slower on the uptake: "I don't think we're in the right place," Caroline ventures. In the parking lot of what is clearly some kind of ancient Druid site, they ask a local what Belfast's other Thing with the Ring might be. He tells them it's the Beacon of Hope, which Jennifer says in the car they need right now. No, Jennifer, at this point you need a supernova of hope.
Mona & Beth are still operating in the dark with their trays and falling further behind by the moment. But Max & Katie run into their first snag when he delivers the dessert course and the headwaiter for the table waspishly tells him, "This is not what they ordered." He loads the tray back up and heads back, calling up to Katie that something wasn't right as Bates drops off the correct third course.
But Mona and Beth continue to spin their wheels. Bringing yet another tray of soups and desserts, Beth apologizes to a "governor," "I used to be a waitress, you'd think I'd be better at this." Indeed, she gets another foghorn and another "This is not what these people ordered." I'm starting to get kind of impressed with that headwaiter, who says it in exactly the same tone every time. Even seconds later, when Beth just shuffles some plates around on the table, like that's going to fix anything.
When Max returns to Katie with the incorrect dessert order, Katie speculates that where she might have went wrong is in thinking that the "chartreuse jelly" listed on the menu describes something dark red. Chartreuse is of course a shade of green, which I wouldn't mention except for how half the people on this show don't seem to be aware of that fact, so who else might not be? Max seems to be leaning more in the direction of chartreuse being green, so Katie heads back to the tent to swap out the plates with the red jelly.
Bates & Anthony get the fourth course handed out. Anthony's confident he can figure out dessert and Bates angles for a tip from his table. How gauche.
Caroline and Jennifer are just now finding the Beacon of Hope sculpture (or rather, Caroline is), and they're the only team to opt for "Spray It," which could be their last hope. I mean, I can't imagine them cracking the menu code all that quickly. Now to find the Detour.
Bates is delivering the fifth course while Anthony watches, hoping he got it right this time. Mona and Beth still don't get it, and don't get why, but their headwaiter is still keeping it consistent with his "This is not what these people ordered." Unfortunately, after dropping off a batch of dessert plates, Bates also hears, "This is not what they ordered," causing him to throw his hands in the air and wonder, "What is wrong with him?" He starts loading the plates back up, grumbling, "Oh my God, I'm gonna kill him." Rather unprofessional behavior for a fine-dining server, if you ask me. "Single-handedly losing this for us." Running back with the full plate, he barks up at Anthony, "It's wrong!" Anthony wonders aloud what color chartreuse is (see?), and remarks that there's no stopping Bates's current meltdown unless he gets it right. Bates hands him back the tray with a theatrical flourish of frustration. I think this is the first time we've seen them not getting along, and it gives me a scary feeling in my tummy.
Katie brings Max her second attempt at the dessert order, saying, "If this isn't it, then I don't know and we gotta switch again." At least she has a backup plan. While waiting for Anthony to return, Bates picks up one of the plates his brother dropped on the ground earlier and spins it on one finger to show why he's got the serving skills. "So you know it's not me." He finds a few more ways to express his frustration to us until Anthony returns with a fresh tray, saying, "These puddings are different." Bates doesn't seem filled with confidence. Meanwhile, Max and Katie have gotten the dessert course right, so the captain reaches into his jacket and hands over Max's clue. Maybe the captain should be steering?
, Bates is delivering plates of dessert that include red jelly as we hear Anthony fretting in VO that he really hopes chartreuse means red and not the green he's seeing on some of the plates. "Bates is gonna kill me if he comes back with another full tray." And guess what Bates says when the headwaiter again tells him, "This is not what they ordered"? "I'm gonna kill him." So at least they're in agreement. Loading the plates back up, he bitches, "Worst partner ever. There is something wrong with him." And he runs back out into the dry dock, bellowing up, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" The diners are getting the full high-class experience, at least.
When Bates returns to the top of the stairs, he's not exactly sympathetic to Anthony's confusion regarding the meaning of chartreuse. "He'd be off the team in hockey right now," he says as Anthony scampers back to the kitchen. Beth, waiting for Mona's wrong tray, appears to be trying to make herself invisible in the background, and is actually not doing too badly. Max & Katie go running off with empty trays, Katie telling him that Mona & Beth have still not started the oysters, and Max declares that this is going to take everyone so much longer, "Because we're brilliant!" He hops over a stanchion as he says this, and the irony gods are clearly asleep at the switch because the word "brilliant!" is not punctuated by a bad landing that turns his ankle into a telephone cord. They get back to the kitchen tent to open their clue, which is sending them to the Pit Stop. Phil says this is "Belfast's most illustrious hall: the Ulster." Over shots of the super-fancy interior of Ulster Hall, Phil narrates that the place is famous for hosting Charles Dickens, Led Zeppelin, "and even the Dalai Lama." Man, can you imagine what a crazy night that must have been? "This impressive venue will now serve as the Pit Stop for this leg of the race," Phil says, suddenly standing on the hall's bare main floor with a group of young Riverdancers as he says, "The first three teams to arrive here will race for the one million dollars in the final leg." Hey, way to keep it positive, there, Phil! "And the last team to check in here will be eliminated." Okay, disregard my last.
In the tent, Mona is explaining to us exactly why she thinks they're not doing the soup right (which we already know; it's because you're not supposed to bringing soup yet at all! Damn, woman!) while that chef from before looks so much like he wants to straighten her out that I can only assume the producers have taken his family hostage.
In search of directions to Ulster Hall, Max & Katie find their way to some kind of cafeteria, where a local pulls up a map on her smartphone. In other navigational news, Jennifer has found the T13 Skate Park on her map. Which would be more helpful if there were any street signs that they could see from inside their car.
Anthony brings an increasingly impatient Bates a fresh tray with actual chartreuse jelly on it, and even though Bates doesn't think chartreuse is green either, he carries it down while issuing dire threats. That leaves Beth and Anthony waiting for their partners at the top of the stairs, and Beth asks how they've been doing it. "Just went down the list of the courses," Anthony shrugs. Beth thinks he means the seating chart, but he's referring to the main menu board. "I gotta talk to Mona and make sure she's looking at the right thing," Beth says, which of course Mona isn't. But when Mona returns, she insists to Beth that she's sure the soups are all in the right order. Anthony doesn't exactly fall all over himself straightening them out, but he's already done plenty if you ask me. And probably if you ask the country singers, after they see this episode.
Max & Katie -- having gotten their directions -- are sprinting back to their car as Max says, "Just be smart and stay under control, because that's why we won the last two legs." And also by other teams screwing up, which is also the case today. Abundantly so, in fact.
Back at the dry dock dining tent, Bates is once again laying out dessert plates, saying, "Please be right." His headwaiter finally wishes the diners, "Bon appetit," and Bates thanks God before the man's even finished saying it. The whole tent applauds as Bates collects his clue from the captain. "Big tip, right? Big tip?" he says as he leaves empty-handed, other than the tray and the clue.
From above, Mona watches Bates emerge from the tent, having finished the task. Which she says puts her and Beth in either third or last place; "We have no idea where the girls are." Bates rudely grabs the Pit Stop clue from Anthony and reads it his own damn self. He's still letting Anthony drive, though. "Let's go. Top three. No mistakes now," he says from the back seat. Max & Katie are just now parking and wandering around the hall, but Anthony appears to drive almost right to it. The brothers spot Max & Katie on the sidewalk, and Bates says they can catch them if they hurry. As Anthony backs into a parking spot, Max & Katie spot them right back and break into a sprint. Now it's a race around the block!
Inside the theatre, the Riverdancers are thunderously beating their shoes against the hardwood floor until Max & Katie run in and onto the mat. Whereupon they stop dancing and rush at them in a rather unnerving clump to brogue in unison, "Welcome to Belfast, Northern Ireland!" Max is still thanking them when Bates & Anthony burst in through the door behind them. Phil says, "Max & Katie, Bates & Anthony, I'm pleased to tell you that you are team number one and two, and that means that you are two of the teams that will be racing to the Finish Line for one million dollars." High fives and hugs all around, and Phil adds that Max & Katie have won a trip to the Dominican Republic. Max says that they've won the last three legs, so now they just have to win the race. He interviews that Bates & Anthony have a lot of athletic ability, "But we're not gonna be intimidated by a couple of professional athletes. You know, those guys are gettin' ooold." On the mat, he shares a recurring dream where he runs around a corner knowing that they're first. Bates says he has the same dream, but in his version he runs in front of them. One of them is going to end up disappointed.
While still attempting to drive to the skate park, Caroline misses a right turn and has a minor breakdown from exhaustion and frustration. This time it's Jennifer who bucks her up. At this point, they're hardly even racing at all, just trying to finish.
Or are they? Beth sets out yet another round of soup for the wrong first course and gets "This is not what these people ordered," not once but three times as she swaps bowls around again. Beth is also on the verge of a meltdown, as she says, "I hope it's not our destiny to go down like the Titanic." Way to trivialize it there.
When she comes out of the dining tent with a full tray again, she calls up to Mona that it's all wrong again. She adds that Anthony said something about a list, so Mona agrees to go back and see if she can find anything else. Amazingly enough, that giant signboard that she's been walking past every time she goes in and out of the tent turns out to hold the key! She hollers down, "Beth! Bethie, I figured it out! I got it!" And to herself, "God, we're idiots!" Yeah, okay. She rushes back into the tent to load up plates of oysters and rushes back out, yelling at Beth to come back up. "I hear you! I'm coming!" Beth bellows from inside the dining tent where she's collecting bowls of soup that are just going to have to come back down in a minute.
Caroline and Jennifer finally make it to the converted warehouse that is T13 Skate Park. They find their way inside, where people are doing cycling and skating tricks at a dizzying rate, and meet an artist who leads them to a big metal utility cabinet. One of its two doors is standing open so they can't see what's on that one and the other has an outline painted on it in white. He shows them the photo of what he wants their side to look like when they're done. It's multicolored and pretty abstract. Caroline, who is still in a bit of a mood, pouts a little bit before putting on her filter mask, but Jennifer reminds her, "I'm having a hard day too." They get to work with the spray cans, starting with the black outline and working their way in, which seems like a rookie mistake to me. No, I've never perpetrated graffiti myself, but I do live across the street from a high school.
Mona hands Beth the tray of oysters and says the soup is all ready and waiting for her as soon as she gets back. "Great, cost us the race right there," Beth groans on her way back down for the umpteenth time. While waiting topside, Mona admits that they might well be in last, since they don't know where the country singers are, but she's not going to cry about it. Big of her, since this is mostly her fault. Returning to the dining tent, Beth complains to the passengers, "I've gone up these stairs ten times. She wasn't reading the menu!" She sets out the plates of oysters, and her poor headwaiter finally gets to say for the very first time, "Bon appetit." Beth gets a round of applause for having finally completed her first course, which is a dead giveaway that these aren't real first class passengers. Mona says, "I have no idea where the girls are. Either they're doing graffiti or they're lost, I have no idea." Apparently she's not even entertaining the possibility that they've already checked in. They are, however, making progress with their first-ever spray painting experience. Beth has just dropped off the soups and gotten a second "Bon appetit." "I think that we can do it," she says while returning for the third course. Caroline and Jennifer are beginning to face the reality that their amateur graffiti isn't going to be perfect, just before we see a guy on rollerblades attempting a backflip at the top of a ramp and splatting on his face instead. Seems symbolic. Beth serves the heavy third course while Mona admits that they're probably in trouble, but all they can do is complete the task. The country singers figure they're close to as well as they can do, and Beth tells us apropos of nothing how she and Mona (who is currently loading up the fourth course) have been away from their families for a month. "I want to bring this home for my family. This money would mean the world to us. I got three kids. I don't want to get this far and not make it into the top three. This is absurd! The absurdity of this." Well, yeah. That's kind of what you sign up for.
Caroline and Jennifer call the artist over to check their work, which he does by closing the open door of the cabinet so they can compare the half they did with what was already there. It's not exactly seamless, but Caroline and Jennifer give it a pretty good sales job. He asks them to sharpen up some of the edges and they should be good.
Beth has slowed to a walk as she brings in what she hopes is the last tray, the one carrying the desserts. "My kids are getting mac & cheese for the rest of their life," she tells the diners. Especially if she doesn't win the race. The headwaiter gives a final "Bon appetite," and the whole tent gives Beth a big hand. Those poor people, you know? I hope they at least got something to eat other than five increasingly stale courses of food that must be frigid after sitting outside in a Belfast winter and being rushed back and forth long distances. Never mind the fact that the menu board says this was the dinner for April 14, 1912, which means most of them will be at the bottom of the Atlantic in a matter of hours. Kind of a sucky last meal, if you ask me. Accepting her clue, Beth says to the fake Captain Smith, "I bet you think I'm such an idiot!" Someone on her team is. They both look exhausted as they open their clue sending them to the Pit Stop, now in third place.
The country singers call the artist/judge over to check their work again, and he declares it "okay." Which is good enough to get their clue, although the subtitles remind us that they are "currently in last place." Jennifer still thinks they can catch up.
The sun is sinking low over the dry dock as Beth & Mona start canvassing the locals for directions to Ulster Hall. Caroline & Jennifer are already in their car, and Jennifer's found it on the map. We'll see if that actually helps them in the real world. Beth is now driving, saying that they don't know what happened with the country singers. Jennifer says they're almost there, but Beth spots the sign from behind the wheel. Caroline thinks they're practically on top of it, but when the third team comes running in and onto the mat to face the Riverdancers, it's Mona & Beth. Honestly, depending on the editing, the country singers actually could be anywhere in Northern Ireland at this point. Phil gravely says the derby moms' names as though he's got bad news for them, but quickly takes pity on them and says, "Congratulations, you are the third team to arrive. You are racing to the finish line for one million dollars." The derby moms can't believe it, and have such an emotional reaction that even the Riverdancers can't help smiling at them. And I'm not sure those things are even human.
The celebratory soundtrack rapidly becomes a dirge as Caroline and Jennifer finally come straggling in. As far as we can tell, getting themselves here from the Detour is the only thing they've done right the first time since landing in Belfast, and we don't even have enough information to confirm that much. Basically, they needed to be a whole lot Belfaster. They receive their welcome, and Phil wastes little time Philiminating them. "We've enjoyed every bit of this experience," Caroline lies. I don't know why everyone insists on saying that after we've seen them spending a lot of time on national television being miserable. "We made it to the eleventh leg, and we saw so much of the world." Jennifer agrees that people are good all around the world, as we get flashbacks of the guy in Maun who didn't steal their money, and the dude in Edinburgh who got Caroline through the bagpipe task and the bushmen leading them across the Kalahari Desert. Caroline says they didn't know the two of them could get closer, and Jennifer says their friendship is stronger than ever. Over more flashbacks of their race, she promises that they'll go home and write a lot of songs about their experiences. I feel bad for them getting Philiminated and all, but you know who I feel worse for right now? Their third bandmate.
Cue the traditional montage of big talk at the end of the penultimate leg. Max repeats that they've won three legs in a row and they're going to win the race. Bates says he played in the Stanley Cup finals, and losing that was a heartbreaker. "I don't want to feel that feeling again." At least he still has all his teeth. Mona insists that she and Beth are strong. "Not winning is not an option," Bates says. "We are going to win the Amazing Race." Katie says. Mona says, "It's right there, it's within our grasp and we are gonna take it." Not without longer arms, you aren't.
After an extra-long ad break (complete with extra-long ads!) we're back with the second episode of the night. I know it's theoretically one two-hour show, but the only thing missing is previouslies and credits -- which I skip anyway -- as Phil informs the goldfish-memoried members of the viewing audience, "This is Belfast, the capital of Northern Ireland." Yes, the scenery does seem to ring a bell. "Established in the seventeenth century, its impressive architecture includes Ulster Hall." That's where Phil is coming from, further describing it as "this city's top performance venue, which is now the start of the final leg in a race around the world." For the third time in a row, Max & Katie are kicking off the leg, this time at 5:04 AM. They get to open their clue inside the hall and Max reads, "Make your way to the final destination. To find out where it is, travel by ferry across the Irish Sea --"
Phil apparently grows bored of waiting for Max to get to the point already, because his narration rudely cuts in to repeat what Max just read, continuing that they'll sail to Liverpool, go from there to London, England, find the Euston Tap and order a pint to get their clue. That's going a long way for a clue, literally. Heading out into the predawn darkness, Max interviews that they've been dreaming about this since the first leg. Katie says the honeymoon has been stressful, but she still thinks that after the race, "The rest of the marriage is going to be easy." Just keep thinking that. They're also confident that they're going to win. Feel free to think that, too. Whatever gets to you to London.
Bates & Anthony are starting off at 5:04 AM. Bates's mood seems to have improved after the leg's Titantrum, as he interviews that it feels "pretty frickin' awesome to make the final three." As they take a cab to the ferry dock, he goes on that he lost the Stanley Cup (personally?) and doesn't want to lose the race as well. He does at least seem confident in their chances of finding a bar.
Beth & Mona round out the final three at 5:47 AM. Mona interviews that they had a lot to prove to their kids, husbands and even other derby people, not wanting to let anyone down. Elsewhere, at potentially any point during the race, Beth interviews that they have a great shot at winning as we see them they cab up.
Max & Katie get to the ferry terminal and find out that the boat to Liverpool leaves at 10:30 AM. So this isn't going to be a stressful part of the leg at all. As the brothers reach the terminal, Anthony says he's hoping that Caroline and Jennifer will join them for the final leg, but he thinks it'll be Mona & Beth instead. "They're going to be so happy to see us," Beth says sarcastically as their cab pulls up outside. Guess what, they're not, but they manage to paste on polite Oscar-loser smiles anyway.
The ferry casts off in the morning, and the seas look fairly rough and stormy. Despite this, Max wrestles a door open so the final three teams can all step out onto the deck for what I'm sure is a production-prompted video op. They certainly wouldn't be braving this nasty wind and rain for fun. Mona exposits that it was an eight-hour ferry ride, and after everyone has marveled at the waves and been dampened by the spray coming up over the side, they find time to share their thoughts with the traveling camera crews. Beth says everyone's friendly enough now, but she's expecting another mad footrace after they land. Max says it's the calm before the storm, which in this weather foretells a big honking storm; and Bates says it's time to end Max & Katie's winning streak, just as his and Anthony's three-leg streak was brought to an end.
The sun sets over the Irish Sea, and as the evening proceeds, we skip right past Liverpool and join the racers as they're getting off the train in London. Team Newlywed and the derby moms seem to quickly find the Euston Tap -- which is hopping tonight -- and order a pint each. The four of them drink to a great race, and outside, Beth & Mona open their clue in first place. It's telling them to fly to their final destination of "our nation's capital, Washington, D.C." Phil repeats that the final destination is "the capital of the United States, Washington, D.C.," because his nation's capital is Wellington. I actually recognize all the landmarks shown in this city, and not just because they drift majestically past over the score of The West Wing rather than flashing by as usual. This is quite the string of capitals they're hitting. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect that their big final challenge is going to have something to do with national capitals. But I do, and it won't. Phil goes on to say that after landing, they'll have to figure out that their clue is on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, "where Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous 'I Have a Dream' speech." That fact is engraved on the spot, so it shouldn't be hard to figure out once they get there. And I'm sure MLK appreciated the Park Service providing him with such an indelible indication of where he should stand. Mona & Beth rush off excitedly, but Max asks Katie, "Want to go finish our beer?" Whether he's serious or not, Katie is serious about saying no. Both teams get into cabs to Heathrow Airport. Bates & Anthony show up at the bar a bit later for whatever reason, sip their pints, and open their clue. "I lived in D.C. for a while," Bates says. "I like the sounds of that." "Sounds"? How much of that beer did he consume?
The show isn't taking any chances at all that anyone will get stranded in London; they've all been instructed to proceed to a marked counter at Heathrow, which turns out to be closed for the night with an Amazing Flag pasted to the grate. And not only does it not open until 5:15 AM, it's been closed since 3:15 PM, when they were scarcely halfway across the Irish Sea. None of them seem excited about spending the night at the airport, but Bates puts a brave face on it as usual. Before the leg, I would have said "as always."
There's a little scene as they hang out together late at night in the terminal and talk about being all back together. "Sorry girls," Anthony chuckles about the absent country singers. Cut to them finally boarding a 747 together, however many hours later, as all the teams interview about their confidence and determination. "Max & Katie, we're coming. Coming to getcha," Anthony Napoleon Dynamites. Eventually the plane takes off into the clear, blue, British sky. The Amazing Red line bows out for the season as it crosses the Atlantic and Phil narrates, "All teams are now making their way to Washington, D.C." Yep, there's the Mall, and the Smithsonian, and the Capitol, and the White House, and the plane touching down and six jacked-up, stinky Americans dashing through an airport in their home country. Getting into a cab outside, Max asks the driver if he knows where MLK gave his speech. Seems like that's something he could have researched before now, but lucky for him the driver already knows, like most people do. Beth and Mona say they're going to the Lincoln Memorial as they hop into another taxi. Beth happily grins, "We are back in the U.S!" I hope it's not some Amazing Editor's idea of a joke to cut directly from that line to Bates & Anthony's driver, who turns out to be a turban-wearing Sikh. Bates couldn't care less, telling him they're trying to win a race. All of the teams pause for contemplation of the speech en route to the memorial, and Beth even reads a snippet of it from the clue: "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Bates says that those are "iconic words," surprising both Anthony and himself with his sudden attack of vocabulary.
Max & Katie's driver points out the Lincoln Memorial from the far end of the Mall, with tourists hanging out on the steps. It's a pretty cold day, so the crowds aren't too bad. I see a flag at half-staff, which tragically doesn't do much in the way of pinpointing the actual date these days, but I'm tentatively putting the time as somewhere between Sandy Hook and Christmas and before the kids are out of school for the holidays. Max asks their driver if it's faster to run, but of course it doesn't matter because it's not like he can drive them up onto the Mall anyway. They hop out and hoof it. Bates & Anthony are coming around the south side of the Memorial and they tell their driver to drop them off and meet them back at the far side. Mona & Beth get dropped off as well. It's a frantic footrace to the steps, but Max & Katie maintain their lead all the way there. And everything abruptly goes all solemn as Katie spots the engraving on the steps marking the spot where Dr. King gave his speech. They look briefly out over the Mall, and suddenly an African-American man walks up to them out of nowhere and informs them, "This is the spot where Martin Luther King Jr, gave his famous speech, 'I Have a Dream.'" Team Newlywed takes it in, gazing the length of the Mall all the way to the Washington Monument, and Max calls it "definitely an emotional and humbling moment." Their new friend looks with them for a moment, then reaches into his overcoat and hands them a clue.
They step to one side to read it so Mona & Beth can take their place and meet this gentlemen for themselves. Max & Katie's clue is telling them to go to 1100 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Once there, a Secret Service agent will escort you to have your picture taken with the President of the United States, Barack Obama." First of all, wow. Second of all, like hell he will. But as they run back down the Mall, Max seems amazed that they're going to meet the president. The derby moms get their clue, and Bates & Anthony take their place. And it's so cute how Beth & Mona are in the middle of reading their clue and suddenly stop, speechless with excitement. Cute, and also kind of sad, considering what happens. All three teams go back to the street to get new cabs, except for Bates & Anthony, who meet up with their same guy and tell him they're in last place and thus in a hurry. Which they won't be for long, given that Beth asked their driver to take them to "1100 Pennsylvania Avenue, the White House." The White House is of course at 1600 Pennsylvania, but that's an easy mistake to make when you're completely star-struck. Easy... and costly.
"So are you telling me the President is going to give us our clue?" Max says in the cab to 1100 Pennsylvania. He admits that he's a "pretty big Republican," but the majority voted Obama in so he respects that. "I'll probably just leave all my politics alone here," he concludes. Being a commie lefty pinko myself, I'm not sure how I would have reacted to meeting Bush 43 during his term. Especially since the majority didn't vote him in. Meanwhile, the derby moms are practically squeeing in their excitement at the possibility of meeting the president.
1100 Pennsylvania turns out to be the Old Post Office building, as Max & Katie discover when their taxi pulls up. Three "Secret Service" guys are standing outside, wearing earpieces and overcoats and sunglasses on a cloudy day and looking intimidating and probably earning SAG credits rather than a government salary. One of them says to Max & Katie, "You're here to meet and take pictures with the president. We ask that you observe decorum." They're led into the building and through a metal detector, past a security guard. Yeah, sell it a little harder, show.
Over to at the White House, which a subtitle helpfully explains is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Mona & Beth's driver has just gotten them here. They maintain that they're supposed to go to the White House at 1100 Pennsylvania. How many White Houses do they think there are? The driver, doing his best with the poor information he's been given, says this is as close as he can drive them, so they agree to jump out. Oops. Meanwhile, Bates & Anthony arrive at 1100 Pennsylvania, and the second "agent" leads them inside. See? They're no longer in last place.
"Hail to the Chief" plays as Max & Katie are led through the Old Post Office building, which has long since been turned into a mall with a food court. Here's where I notice Christmas decorations for the first time. They're awed by the majesty of the setting, until they find themselves at a touristy gift shop where "Hail to the Chief" grinds to a halt as they quickly realize that it's not real and they'll be lucky to have their photo taken with a cardboard cutout. As a photographer adjusts the collar of Max's coat and positions his head just so, Katie voices her disappointment and Max interviews that he was actually kind of relieved. "I respect the office, but I'm an unapologetic Republican." Is there another kind? He holds still for the photo, however. When it's Katie's turn, an American flag scarf is draped around her neck, and we see her profile in a partially masked digital monitor until the photo is snapped. "You met Barack Obama," the employee exaggerates, and to "prove" it, he hands them each pictures of themselves Photoshopped to look like they were not only shaking hands with POTUS, but appropriately dressed for the occasion. The pictures are in cheesy paper frames, on the back of which is printed their clue, which says "Find the marked car near the paddleboat dock at the Tidal Basin." Phil repeats those exact words, as we zoom in on a limo with tinted windows and Amazing Diplomatic Flags waving on the hood parked at that location. They'll have to knock three times on the back passenger window, and a dude inside will hand them a briefcase and their clue. Very cloak-and-dagger, this.
Mona & Beth have managed to find their way to the fence surrounding the White House, which is as far as they can go. They ask a Park Police officer where 1100 Pennsylvania is, and as often as I claim that locals tell racers to go thataway, this one actually says, "Thataway." He gives them more precise directions and Beth VOs, "We could be in a lot of trouble." Yeah, that's not the kind of mistake you want to be making in the final leg.
Back out on G Street, the derby moms jump into a cab to take them the remaining five or six blocks. Where Bates & Anthony are also having the big letdown as they reach the gift shop and we listen once again to "Hail to the Wah-wahhh." Bates has removed his stocking cap for the occasion, which given the state of his hair is not really an improvement, and they get their photos making it look like they were wearing suits at the big moment. No amount of Photoshopping can make it look like Bates still owns a razor or a hairbrush, though.
Mona & Beth present themselves to the last "Secret Service agent" outside the Old Post Office, still all excited about getting to meet the president.
Max & Katie find the marked car parked near the Tidal Basin, and run up to it while a low-key piano on the soundtrack quotes a TV spy movie. When Max taps on the window, it rolls down just enough for yet another guy in sunglasses to hand Max a briefcase and before rolling back up again. Despite all this, Max isn't exactly James Bond as he slips walking around a park bench to open the clue they also received. Phil explains what's : "Teams will now face an Amazing Race Switchback that requires them to play the role of a spymaster." From the flashback footage, I'm thinking we're Switching Back to the Family Edition season, which is not something you'd think the show would want to remind us of. As before, Phil explains that they'll be "searching around the iconic Tidal Basin, the centerpiece to Washington's famous memorials," and that "teams must figure out which one of these fifty agents is carrying their clue." And there Phil is, looking rather clandestine himself in a black turtleneck and pea coat, surrounded by fifty briefcase-holding, sunglass-wearing , serious-looking dudes. I keep expecting Keanu Reeves to swoop in and kick all their asses.
Each team will get a "secret password" in their clue, and they're looking for the agent who will give them the correct response, whereupon they'll swap briefcases and find out how to open the one they just got, which will contain their clue. We get more details in advance on how that we'll work, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Max & Katie debate briefly over which of them should do this task. Max thinks Katie would be better if this task calls for memory, but if it's running it might be better if he did. But then Katie doesn't seem all that excited about doing it, so that settles it. Max reads his password from the clue: "Where can I get a good half-smoke with chili?" Max doesn't seem to know what a "half-smoke" is any more than I do, but it probably doesn't matter. They're still standing there when Bates & Anthony roll up, tap on the window and get the briefcase. Max goes running off counterclockwise around the Tidal Basin as Bates reads, "Who's ready for some covert ops?" and decides to take it on. His password is "I did not dress warm enough for this weather," which seems appropriate given that all the clothes he brought on the race with him are either already on his body or on the other side of the Atlantic.
Faux-Bond music plays as the "agents" stroll around the perimeter of the Tidal Basin. Max is not really upholding the atmosphere, running up to them one after another and loudly asking in a near-panic, "Where can I get a good half-smoke with chili?" Considering how mad Daniel Craig's Bond gets when a fellow agent so much as touches their ear, I don't think he'd be too impressed with Max's performance. The first few just say they can't help him. Bates is having a similar experience, but enjoying it more, as usual. At the waiting area, Katie remarks to Anthony how stressful this is. Anthony does not seem stressed out, also as usual. One of the agents shuts down Max with a Trump-like hand gesture and a barked-out, "You're not part of my operation." Wow, way to get into it, random fake agent guy. Bates thinks he's found the right guy when one of them starts to transfer his briefcase to his other hand, but he was just psyching him out. Max has made his way all the way around to the bridge opposite the Jefferson Memorial, but is still getting nowhere agent-wise.
Beth & Mona seem pretty good-natured about the photo op letdown. "Logically, we assumed Barack Obama was there and made time in his schedule to take a picture with Mona and I," Beth laughs afterward. They get their clue-pictures and hail a taxi to the Tidal Basin with a squeal of tires.
Now Max has gotten all the way across the bridge, but he hasn't found his contact yet. Bates has better luck, as the last man to whom he says "I did not dress warm enough for this weather" responds, "Perhaps you'd like to borrow my gloves." There's also a subtitle of this in Courier, like the line is being printed on an old Dymo label maker that we all know spies love so much. Bates gratefully accepts the new briefcase and is about to return to Anthony, but the contact has more information for him, also in totally unnecessary subtitles: "The key to opening the briefcase is in the order you finished in in New Zealand, Indonesia and Vietnam." Max is still having no luck, and later describes witnessing Bates's handoff occurring before his as "brutal." As Max continues approaching agents. Bates sets his briefcase down on the stone railing of the bridge and starts paging through a little notebook. He's making me very nervous that he's going to drop it and everything else into the Tidal Basin, because it's not like he has an unblemished record when it comes to holding onto stuff. But he's finding what he needs in the copious notes that he and Anthony have apparently been taking all through the race. Bates figures out that the combination should be 1, 7, 4, but the case isn't opening for him. Max is now out of Katie's sight, as she says, "We're gonna be in last place because he's an idiot." Wow, harsh much? Is it his fault if he simply hasn't encountered the one agent with their briefcase? Rechecking his notes, Bates finds his mistake, corrects the combo and pops open the latches. He pulls the clue out of it and goes running back to where he left Anthony, to Katie's highly vocal frustration. The brothers are now in first place as Anthony reads from the new clue, "Make your way to the home of the Nats." Bates doesn't know what that is, but fortunately Anthony does: the Washington Nationals baseball team. I assume they're relatively new, because I was only vaguely aware of their existence before now. But then, I'm so ignorant about sports that I'd never heard of Bates or Anthony before this season either.
Mona & Beth show up as the hockey brothers are leaving, which Beth laughs in an interview is a pretty familiar sight by this point in the race. They get their briefcase from the guy in the limo and Beth takes it, since Mona did the last two. Her password is "The cherry blossoms are beautiful here in April," which Mona says they were just talking about. Max is close to running a full circuit of the Tidal Basin, which he estimates at three or four miles (it's 1.9. Thanks, Google). Beth approaches some agents with her password, but much more aggressively than the other two, standing directly in the agents' path and hopping up and down in front of them like a Chihuahua that's very excited about cherry blossoms.
Katie says Max has better be running his butt off. "If he hasn't found it by now, then he has no idea what he's doing." Max is not seeing any more agents on this side of the Tidal Basin, so he starts running back. Good luck with that.
Max's search continues after the ads, as Katie recaps that they got here first, then Bates showed up and got it and, "We're still here." Beth is still doing her thing with the cherry blossom code phrase. "None of them agree with me! You guys are brutal."
On the other side, Max has come to the end of the agents again and has to go back. He interviews ruefully that if you passed him, you passed him. But how could that happen? And if it did, I'm not sure I blame Katie any more.
Bates & Anthony arrive at the clue box outside Nationals Park, the local Major League Baseball stadium, still in first place. Now I'm confused, because how did a major sports stadium get built in the last two decades without the name of a corporation on it? Bates reads from the clue, "Play ball in a high-flying game of catch." Cut to Phil on the diamond during a practice, saying Nationals Park is home to Washington's Major League Baseball team. "While one team member is suspended high above the stadium, the other will be dressed as a giant baseball," Phil says, as though this is the most normal thing in the world. We see a PA in a chicken costume being swung fifty or so feet over the field in a sling hung from a zip-line, dropping a ball to another PA dressed as a baseball wearing a giant mesh cap, who tries to catch it in a glove. Phil says they'll have to keep trying until the racer on the ground catches the ball, which will have their clue written on it. Of course the person throwing the ball will be able to read it before letting go of it, but if he or she tries to abandon the task early, then he or she will not only get a penalty at the mat but likely die in the fall. We also get an early peek at one of the baseballs, which appears to have been autographed by well-known baseball great, Hains Point.
Bates & Anthony hurry inside the stadium and Anthony takes the high ground. Inside, the seats are empty and there's no one on the field except a few uniformed players (or equipment managers, for all I know) and some mascots with giant Mount-Rushmore-president heads. While getting strapped into the body-sling, Anthony says they should do pretty well on this as an all-guy team, as though that has anything to do with it. Bates agrees in an interview that yes, they did play baseball growing up, but not usually while dressed as mascots. Bates's costume appears to include not only a catcher's mask under the giant red mesh ball-cap, but a camera crammed right up against his face in there like he's Iron Man. Good luck catching that way. He's uncomfortable, and can't see, and is hot and is fogging up the camera with his breath. But he gamely heads out to the field to position himself under the zip line and wait for Anthony to sail by overhead. Anthony interviews that he was more focused on making a good throw than, you know, falling and dying. It is a pretty decent toss, but it bounces off the giant hat bill of Bates's costume and hits the ground. Teddy Roosevelt shakes his giant head sadly, like that was the least bully thing he's ever seen. Bates makes some excuses about how it's not as easy as it looks, which seem pretty unnecessary to me because I don't think it looks easy at all.
Beth and Max are still at the Tidal Basin, and Beth is the to meet her contact, who responds to her code phrase about the cherry blossoms with, "I'll have to bring my mother spring." He swaps briefcases with her and Beth says, "I could kiss you on the lips right now." He gives her the same instructions for opening it that Bates got. Soon after, Max finally gets the answer he wants to his question about the half-smoke with chili: "I hear there's a great place on U Street." He also gets a new briefcase and his instructions for opening it. Both of them come running back to the partners, go to park benches with their partners, check their notes, open their cases and get the clue sending them to the home of the Nats, with Beth just ahead of Max at each stage. Team Newlywed runs to the side of the road, where the derby moms are trying to hail a cab. But Max runs upstream of them and gets a taxi before they do, and ride off while the moms are still running down the street yelling, "Taxi!" Wow, cold. Katie says they'll just have to be perfect from here on out, as the derby moms finally manage to secure a cab now that they're the only ones here trying to do so.
Bates catches the ball Anthony drops to him on what looks like the second try, and reads the writing on it, which still says Hains Point. "That's the clue?" he asks one of the players, who gives him a thumbs-up while giant-headed Thomas Jefferson does a happy dance. They meet back up in the stands, still in first place, and return to their waiting cabdriver, who knows where Hains Point is. Soon they're on their way and Anthony says they've gone from the back to the front, but Bates says they're not getting cocky. Translation: "Don't get cocky, Anthony."
Max runs to the clue box outside the center field gate of Nationals Park -- still carrying the briefcase -- and nominates Katie to throw while he catches. They run inside. The derby moms, meanwhile, have just been dropped off outside the stadium somewhere and have started wandering around it looking for an entrance. They're currently at the home plate gate, so they're in for a long walk.
Katie coasts out over the field lobbing the ball down gently. Max, under his baseball costume's giant blue hat, drops it, and Katie calls down to ask what she needs to do differently. He asks her to drop it a little sooner. Hey, look, they're working well together. Except that on the try, Max not only misses the ball, he trips and goes rolling across the base paths like... well, like a baseball. He misses the one, too, and Katie advises him to catch with two hands. Mona & Beth have found their way inside somehow and are wandering around behind the back row of lower-deck seats when they spot the clue box through the fence from inside. "Oh, we ran right by it. Once again, par for the course." When they read the clue, Beth says she used to play softball, so she should do the catching. Given the visual skills they just displayed, I'm not sure either of them is going to be able to catch anything.
Bates & Anthony are approaching Hains Point, and they're dreading some further "mental trickery." Yes, I remember the final TAR 21 challenge too, but I wouldn't worry about this one, guys. They spot the location of the final task, which is marked by giant, bright-blue-and-green globes, as well as what looks like a giant above-ground ball pit filled with smaller ones. They get to the clue box posted nearby and Bates reads, "You've made your way around the world; where did you go?" Now Phil's here, saying, "After traveling through ten countries and racing more than thirty thousand miles, teams now face a final challenge before heading to the Finish Line." Over shots of the globe pit, he narrates, "One team member must search through this enormous collection of globes, each of which shows a highlighted country." There are no country labels on any of these inflatable beach balls, just hand-drawn red marker outlines around a single nation on each one. The person in the ball pit will have to find globes where one of the countries they visited on the race is outlined until they've gotten all ten, tossing them out to their partner as they go. The partner's job is to carry them to one of three futuristic-looking bus shelters, inside of which ten stands are lined up in a semicircle and to put the globes in the order in which they hit each country. A larger, plastic globe in the middle of the arc opens up behind Phil to reveal a yellow envelope inside, to demonstrate how the racers will get their clue. Anthony volunteers to enter the ball pit, which is not only taller than he is, but at least ten feet on each side and filled with what I would conservatively estimate as a thousand beach-ball-sized globes. Bates offers to put them in order as Anthony throws out anything he finds. "Chuck E. Cheese all over again," Anthony says as he struggles through the balls. Only there's probably less chance of encountering bodily fluids in this one. The balls are as high as his head, and he interviews that it was tough to move. He and Bates snicker-view about the number and size of all the balls, in the most twelve way possible.
At the ballpark, Katie drops another ball to Max, which he misses. "Oh my God, you suck at baseball," she calls down helpfully. That's more in character. He starts to feel the pressure when he sees Mona & Beth arriving on the field, but one more try seems to do it. He goes running off the field, Meanwhile, Anthony can't find a single one of the balls he's looking for. In short, people are struggling with balls all over the place.
Anthony's search continues after the last ad break of the season, and as he interviews about having patience, he finally comes across a ball with a big red circle around a tiny green dot in the Pacific. He and Bates figure that's Tahiti, so Bates runs it over to their semicircular hut to reflect their first leg in Bora Bora. "We've been sitting on planes looking at the maps in the back of the magazines," Anthony interviews by way of explaining how they're able to do this at all. As of now, they seem to be making progress and Bates adds Vietnam to their little display. Presumably the show's apology for that will be forthcoming at a later date.
In second place, Max meets up with Katie to read the clue on their baseball. "Hains... Point," Max says as though translating hieroglyphics. Meanwhile, Mona's up in the sling and Beth is ensconced in her yellow-hatted baseball costume, from the depths of which she excitedly says, "This is so cool, I'm on Nationals field! In the most ridiculous outfit on the planet!" I'll get back to her on that in a couple of months when I'm at Comic-Con. "How does my butt look in this baseball?" she asks the giant heads of Lincoln and Washington. They wisely say nothing. They're politicians, after all. Mona comes swinging out over the field, counts down from three and drops the ball on the giant hat brim of Beth's costume, which it bounces off of. "Use both hands!" Mona hollers down. To a giant baseball.
Anthony has found a globe with New Zealand circled, bringing their total to five. Then Botswana. Mona's second toss bounces on the ground nowhere near Beth, as does her fourth. She's getting colder, in fact. No luck with the seventh or tenth attempt either. "Let's focus, okay?" Mona calls from overhead. The giant baseball snarks, "Oh, thank you for those helpful words of encouragement. I haven't been focused until now." I kind of wish I had the time to go back through the season to figure out exactly when Beth decided she was Over Mona. She interviews how absurd it was, plus the mascots kept gathering around her and pattering her sympathetically "on the ball." Which is isn't helpful for dispelling certain roller girl stereotypes. "Wow, this is romantic," she tells them at the time.
Anthony is now doing a targeted search for a ball that has Indonesia marked, and Bates is watching the road to see if other teams are approaching. Max & Katie are being driven past the Tidal Basin again on their way to Hains Point, trying to remain optimistic and hoping that Bates & Anthony are in over their heads somehow. Bates spots a possible Indonesia globe up against the bottom of one of the ball pit's Plexiglas walls, and directs Anthony to it so we get the weird visual of Bates talking to Anthony's disembodied head through the side of the tank, nearly at ground level and surrounded by balls. But Indonesia's not marked on that one, so the search continues.
At Nationals Park, Mona and Beth are on their 17th attempt when Beth finally catches it. I wonder where they found the focus>
Max & Katie are still in the cab and Katie says, "There's still probably a lot of race to go and anything could happen." There's one task and ten minutes left, Katie, so be realistic. At least Anthony is still trying to extract an Indonesia globe. "Bali gave us trouble when we were there, so I'm not surprised it's giving us trouble now," Bates says while waiting. Anthony throws a final ball out past Bates and climbs the ladder out of there. Bates is less sure than Anthony, but when he places it on the last stand, and the big plastic globe opens up to reveal their last clue. "Nice job, Antone," Bates says before reading, "This is it, the Finish Line. Make your way to the home of the first president." What, no "Go go go"? That's my favorite part! Phil narrates that this is "George Washington's Mount Vernon," which sounds like a total piece of branding, "home of the first president of the United States." And in a new bit, we cut to Phil on the giant Finish Line mat on the yard in front of George Washington's old house, the approach to which is flanked by the eight previously eliminated teams as usual, but this time he tells us, "Over the past 25 days, these eight teams were eliminated, and now the final three are racing to the Finish Line. In the end, only one will win the one million dollars and the Amazing Race." Yes, Phil, we know that. The brothers run back to their cab, Bates saying, "Let's get there frickin' now."
They're gone by the time Max & Katie arrive and tell their cab driver to wait. Max is tapped to enter the ball pit, into which he disappears entirely, not being as tall as Anthony. Nor as cool, which goes without saying, even though I totally just said it.
Bates & Anthony's driver is taking them out of town, which is making them rather nervous about whether they're going to the right place. After all, the clue only said to go to the home of the first president. "The rest of my hair may fall out," Bates frets. "It may turn gray within the five minutes."
The derby moms make it to the ball pit, and Katie offers to switch with Max. "I've got good energy," he declines. Mona jumps into the pit and finds it tough to move, as Max tosses out a ball with Switzerland marked. So Team Newlywed is on the board.
In their cab to Mount Vernon, Anthony is talking about how much they've enjoyed the race, even if they don't win. Especially with Bates. "I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else," he says, which is one of those things that racers say so often that when someone doesn't, it kind of stands out. And in those cases, it's generally not a surprise.
"We're in a ball pit, this is what it comes down to," Katie says. Yes, Katie, I actually agree with you that that this is a pretty silly final challenge. Max tosses a ball to her to check out. "That's South America, we didn't go there," she obviouslies, tossing it back. Yeah, missed a continent there. She offers to switch again and this time he accepts. She vanishes into the balls and says faux-cheerfully, "This is a frigging nightmare." In a post-leg interview, Max says he doesn't know why he started this, knowing Katie would be better at this part. Taller, too. Mona & Beth have also switched jobs, but Katie is soon climbing out with the last ball she and Max need. They put in place, the plastic globe opens, and we get an actual look at the final clue: "This is it! The Finish Line! Make your way to the home of the first President! Go! Go! Go!" Ah, there it is. Max & Katie run back to their cab and go go go. Mona figures it's time to switch back so she can hunt for Switzerland and New Zealand. And then she does an awesome belly-flop into the ball pit that both looks awesome from overhead and tells us that they know they've already lost and are cool with it.
Bates & Anthony's cab brings them to Mount Vernon, which they're still not totally convinced is the right place. It's now a museum, of course. They run up to the gate, Anthony shouldering his pack and Bates carrying his nothing, and a woman in historical costume at the outdoor entrance gate bids them, "Welcome to Mount Vernon." They're all "which way?" and she's all "that way," and then we're at the Finish Line, with the cheering and clapping losers happily watching the hockey brothers' final approach. They run up onto the mat and stand there with Phil for a minute before Anthony finally says, "Give it to me!" Phil does: "Bates & Anthony, five continents, ten countries miles, more than thirty thousand miles. I am pleased to tell you that you have won the one million dollars and you are the official winners of the Amazing Race!" Anthony drops his pack and tackle-hugs Bates as Phil congratulates them and everyone claps some more. Phil says, "You made it all the way around the world with your false teeth. They didn't fall into your mouth, you didn't choke!" Anthony says he can buy some new ones, and gets a big laugh. I'm sure this particular location has heard plenty of false teeth jokes in the last couple of centuries. Bates says he can't remember the last time he felt like this; "It hasn't come from hockey in a long time." Aw. Phil asks them about having done it together and Bates mentions their earlier talk about not wanting to do it with anyone else, and how they probably wouldn't have done as well. Which is probably true. As the other teams bring it in to congratulate them like they normally wait to do until all three teams arrive, Bates interviews that "it's not so much the destination, it's the journey," and that their travels and experiences were priceless. So who are they giving the money to?
After everyone's back in position, Max & Katie run up to the giant mat to join Phil and Bates & Anthony. Phil tells them they should be proud of themselves, and congratulates them on being team number two, which is a lot better than I thought they'd do earlier in this season. Phil also points out that even though they didn't win the million, they did complete all twelve legs. "We're still married," Katie adds, like that's a good thing. Phil asks if they're closer, and Katie says they made it through the worst. "We had a brand-new, fresh relationship, and this has definitely thrown us right into the fire," Max says. Well, we're all glad you two had such a lovely time.
Finally, Beth & Mona make it in. It's clearly getting later in the day, as the long-absent sun seems to be shining horizontally on everyone. Phil tells the derby moms that they're officially team number three, which they're happy to take. It's certainly better than they did most legs. Phil says they should be proud, and asks them what their kids are going to say. "That their moms are bad-asses, I hope." Beth says. She hopes her kids swear? Mona talks about all the wonderful people they met on the race and around the world, and Beth adds that they both had kids really young and put their lives "on pause for a little while," but that the race was life-changing. "We wouldn't trade this experience for a million dollars," Mona agrees. Well, I don't think anyone will offer.
So everyone gathers together for hugs and greetings. Dave & Connor are there along with everyone else, though Dave is still rocking crutches and an immobilizing boot from the injury he sustained at the end of the second leg. He says that while their resulting exit from the race was disappointing, it was a great experience. Now how about a medical update? "My Achilles tendon was gone. Fortunately we were able to make it home, had surgery and had stiches out the day before yesterday." He's still got the boot for another month and crutches for another week, but he'll be in rehab soon. Connor says it's bittersweet to come back, saying it's nice to see the other teams, but it's hard to see what could have been. Probably not this, no matter what. Still, he's happy for Bates & Anthony. The reunion continues as the evening gets darker, and Caroline tells us how happy they are that Bates & Anthony won. Jennifer says they'll be friends for life, which means someone clearly just asked them if they're going to date. But no, the hockey brothers are consigned to the friend zone, even after becoming demi-millionaires? Wow, that's harsh, especially considering how expensive it is to record a demo. Caroline talks about the other friends they've made, both here and all over the world. And then the final moment of the season is blocked a little differently from before; instead of everyone posing on the mat together, the ten losing teams stand in a semicircle that Bates & Antony have to run into the middle of and stand there while fireworks go off over the Potomac River. And the screen goes black except for the final words, "In memory of David G. Gibbs," who was apparently a pilot who used to work on the show. They kept him busy, I bet. Too bad his life wasn't commemorated with a more exciting finish.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
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