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After some discussion of the U-Turning that went down during the leg, everyone flies together from Hanoi to Botswana, but three different bush flights carry the seven remaining teams to the edge of the Kalahari Desert. Bates & Anthony and Caroline & Jennifer are in the lead as each team meets up with a group of three Bushmen who will be running the rest of the leg with them. They start by going out and digging up scorpions, which the Bushmen orally tame before letting the racers pop them into jars. Joey & Meghan and Max & Katie are on the second flight, and although neither man is particularly macho about the scorpion encounter, Joey makes Max look like Indiana Jones by comparison. The third flight, carrying the derby moms, Pam & Winnie, and the perennially trailing Chuck & Wynona, have different levels of luck at the scorpion hunt, but at least Wynona does a Roadblock at last.
Each team drives their Bushmen guides on to the Detour, where they have to either make a fire by rubbing two sticks together or construct a clever snare to catch guinea fowl in the local style. Almost everyone opts for the first choice, but Bates & Anthony prove to be the only team who can actually do it, and they win the leg. Everyone else eventually gives up and switches. That ends up being to the advantage of both Pam & Winnie and Chuck & Wynona, who were previously at the back of the pack when they decided to start with the snare task in the first place. Pam & Winnie come in second and Chuck & Wynona post an unprecedented third-place finish while the teams who were once ahead of them try to build their own snares. Joey & Meghan come in fifth and Caroline & Jennifer sixth. Max & Katie were the last team to switch tasks, but does Beth & Mona's ill-advised detour to the parking lot to see if they could drive to the Pit Stop give Team Newlywed a chance to not come in last? It does not; the derby moms are team number six, and Max & Katie are the last team to arrive. But it's a non-elimination leg, and they're still in the race to continue grossing us out about being on their honeymoon.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!You want a really serious beginning? Even before the previouslies, we open with onscreen titles on a blue background read by Phil in voice-over: "Parts of last Sunday's episode, filmed in Vietnam, were insensitive to a group that is very important to us: our nation's veterans. We want to apologize to veterans -- particularly those who served in Vietnam -- as well as to their families and any viewers who were offended by the broadcast. All of us here have the most profound respect for the men and women who fight for our country." Okay, I agree that the B-52 wreckage could have been treated more respectfully and with some actual context, including in my recap, so I apologize for that too. But I'll have to disagree with anyone who thought the producers intended that pro-communism song to come off as anything other than supremely goofy.
Previouslies, credits, and ads. Then Phil tells us, as if we need reminding, "This is Vietnam," over a shot of a giant sculpture clearly dedicated to world peace: a globe being held by two hands, surmounted by a giant white dove, with an entire hemisphere covered by Vietnam. So, you know, peace under Vietnam. Phil goes on to say that more than 90 million people live here and "Its capital, Hanoi, is the economic and cultural center of the country. This National History Museum was once the French Consulate, and is now the start of the sixth leg in a race around the world." Now they're going to have to apologize to the French week.
Pam & Winnie, having won the leg, are the first to begin this one at 10:40 PM. The clue reads, "Make your way to the city of Maun in the Kalahari Desert." After some shots of the African savannah and elephants and such, Phil narrates, "Teams must now figure out that they need to fly more than six thousand miles across the Indian Ocean to the African nation of Botswana. When they touch down, they'll have to find Mack Air and sign up for one of three flights that will then take them to the Makgadikgadi Pans National Park on the edge of the Kalahari Desert." This is all illustrated with shots of elephants, ostriches, giraffes, apes and the like in their natural habitats, as well as the chalkboard sign-up outside Mack Air. "Once there --" specifically, a primitive lean-to at the National Park with a hand-painted sign identifying it as "Xhumaga Airstrip Lounge -- "they'll find their clue." Pam & Winnie head into a hotel to borrow some Internet, which is how they find out they're going to Botswana. They are aware that they don't want to get overconfident, especially after having U-Turned Meghan & Joey and potentially called down their twee wrath, but they think it would be pretty stupid of Team YouTube to take it personally. Mostly, as we see them back in their cab, they're just excited to be going to Botswana. As any fans of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series would be. Not that I know they are, it's just that who isn't?
Max & Katie are leaving at 11:34 in a fairly distant second. Max informs us that it's not just his brainpower carrying them: "Big hair, big brain Katie, she's got it going on right now." Don't worry, Max, I was not under the impression that your throbbing intellect was going to win this race for you guys. They go into the same hotel that Pam & Winnie visited earlier and, in fact, the same internet terminal, where Pam & Winnie seem to have left their browser window open. Katie says that she wants to continue to keep her doctorate and thus her brilliance a secret, which I don't see as being a major challenge. Max adds that Pam & Winnie did the same thing they did, which he figures makes them pretty smart too. "Big hair, big brain," he keeps repeating. Okay, Katie's hair's not that big.
Mona & Beth open their first clue at 11:37 PM. Beth interviews that there are still three all-female teams in this race and people are starting to figure out that they don't suck. Who are these people who hadn't already done so? In their cab, Beth explains that they have to figure out what country Maun is in or else the security guard at the travel agency won't let them in. Does it say that in the clue? Otherwise that seems like an oddly specific rule. I can see why people get so upset about communism now, though.
The hockey brothers, Bates & Anthony, are leaving in fourth place at 11:39 PM. Anthony thinks Maun is in Kenya off the top of his head (not that I knew any better), and he interviews that he thought Bates would be Mr. Bossy Pants as the older of the two of them, but it's been pretty even so far. "Mostly it's the girls who've been telling us what to do," Bates says over a shot of Caroline and Jennifer waiting patiently at the mat to open their clue. He says that the more time they spend with the country singers the better, but also says they want to make their way from the middle of the pack to the front. Can't do both, boys.
Caroline & Jennifer start their leg at 11:46 in fifth place, and are squealingly excited about going to Africa. They're hoping for a final three composed of themselves, Bates & Anthony and, for some reason, Max & Katie. Caroline adds that she thinks Jennifer has a "baby-crush" on Bates. In the cab, she reiterates how much they've been wanting to go to Africa, "And we're pretty confident that that's where we're heading." Wait, what?
Pam & Winnie get to the travel agency, where an indifferently-uniformed "security guard" is standing in front of the glass doors, blocking the entry of any team who doesn't know what country they're flying to. So clearly this is just for the race and not a Vietnam-travel-agency thing in general. Good to know. They tell him they want to go to Botswana and he opens the door to let them inside. Where they find out that the flight to Botswana leaves at 10:45 the morning, meaning everyone is likely to be on it. Well, yes, you two -- that's why you got to leave the mat this early in the first place. Are there seriously still racers who haven't figured this out yet?
After Pam & Winnie have booked their flights and gotten on their way, Max & Katie are firming up their master plan for entering the travel agency: "We're gonna go in and then we'll come back out, okay?" Max verifies. Genius! They get in using the password "Botswana," and ask the agents inside for the same thing the team before them got, in more or less those exact words. Meanwhile, the derby moms tell their cab to wait outside the agency and, as they get out, they put out a general call for a smartphone to the bystanders on the sidewalk. Always a good idea at midnight in a foreign city! While Max & Katie watch from inside, the country singers show up outside and are denied admission when they tell the "guard" that they want to go to Kenya. Katie mouths "Botswana" at them through the glass doors, so they try that and it works much better. "Thanks, we owe you guys," Caroline tells Katie & Max once they're inside, as though that's something Katie & Max would need to be told. Beth & Mona soon have the information they need from helpful locals and one "Botswana" later they're inside the agency. Despite starting in fourth place, the hockey brothers are actually the fifth team to arrive at the agency, and Caroline sticks her head out the door and chirps, "Botswana." The guard looks a little annoyed at her for that. Get used to it, guard, shit like that happens on this show all the time.
Joey & Meghan are in sixth place as they leave the Pit Stop at 12:47 AM. They're feeling a little paranoid, not to mention flashing back to their days as unpopular high school students (which, they're totally central casting on that one, I've been thinking since the beginning) but promise to keep coming back no matter how many times they get U-Turned. I can't see that happening more than a couple times after this, can you?
Chuck & Wynona are leaving at 3:26 AM, which is a pretty major time deficit, even considering that they were also U-Turned. Wynona mentions that this is the third leg in a row they've left in last place, which means they're even worse at this than I thought. Chuck adds that he was shocked to be U-Turned, considering how weak they are. "It's been a tough, grueling race. I don't feel we're ready to throw in the towel or ready to get divorced or nothing yet, but I just feel we're gonna be in trouble." Gonna be?
Joey & Meghan leave the travel agency, happy to be on the same flight as everyone else just like they wanted. Hours later, when Chuck & Wynona show up, wacky hoedown hick-rube-Clampett-loser music plays patronizingly on the soundtrack while they basically rattle off every country they can think up, rummaging through their backpacks for some reason. Wynona guesses Australia, Turkey, Bangladesh and Paraguay before Chuck finally gets Botswana from whoever he's talking to on the cell phone he borrowed from their cab driver. Looks like they're in.
Morning at Hanoi International Airport. Wynona spots Joey & Meghan, having somehow found out that they were the ones who U-Turned them even though it was supposed to be anonymous. In an interview, Team YouTube explains how the current factions are them and the derby moms against every other team, and they're now saying that they U-Turned Chuck & Wynona to protect the derby moms from being U-Turned as well. Which is not what they said when they were actually doing it, but sometimes in the heat of the moment it's not always possible to come up with a self-justifying rationale. They go over to try to explain themselves to Team Mullet, but Wynona isn't in a particularly forgiving mood. "Eeny meeny miney moe, Chuck & Wynona gotta go?" she asks them. Since that went so well, Joey & Meghan head over to Pam & Winnie to ask about the prize they "stole," as though Team YouTube would have caught up to them anyway. Pam &Winnie try to flatter them, saying they meant it as a compliment. Joey & Meghan interview separately that they sense a plan was in place (which it was), but the other teams should look out. "That's right," Joey agrees unthreateningly.
Everyone boards the same Cathay Pacific flight, Chuck saying that they need to get on the first charter flight when they land, otherwise the other teams will zoom ahead and he and Wynona will never catch up. I can't disagree with a thing he just said. An Amazing Green Line then cuts east to Hong Kong before proceeding across the Indian Ocean to Johannesburg, South Africa and then Maun in the African interior. That looks like a long day of traveling, man. But we eventually get to the semi-rural city of Maun, where we see paved and dirt streets, livestock and people carrying bundles of firewood on their heads. The hockey brothers and the country singers come out of the terminal's front door and spot Mack Air right away, directly across the street. They run over and sign up for the first flight, scheduled to go at 9:00 AM. Max & Katie are the first to score seats on the second flight at 9:15 and will be joined by Joey & Meghan, which the latter team is pretty happy about. So that means the third flight, scheduled for 9:30, will have Mona & Beth, Chuck & Wynona (just like he didn't want) and Pam & Winnie. Chuck is already stressing about the rest of the leg, as though they've already lost it. Hey, just because they've lost 40% of the all the legs so far doesn't mean it's going to happen this time.
After the ads, the girls are excited about their safari flight and Anthony is excited about being crammed on a small plane with them. "Maybe hold hands? A little romantic?" The tiny plane goes up, and Bates & Anthony -- together in the back seat -- are a little nervous and the girls tease them for it from the middle row of seats. The plane flies low enough for them to be able to spot herds of elephants and if any hand-holding is going on, it's all intra-team.
The second flight goes up and it's not an ideal experience for either team. Joey says it was scary because it was the smallest plane he'd ever been in, and Max & Katie interview later that they would have rather enjoyed this with another team. Finally the third plane is boarded and waiting to take off and Chuck remarks, "This is where The Lion King was made, right here," as though it was a location shoot. Beth laughs that it was a cartoon and Pam is like, "You guys know that, right?" Chuck assures them he did. Which I'm sure he did. They take off at 9:30 and run into some turbulence right off the ground, which is not where you want that to happen. Team Mullet is still worried about being on the last flight, especially with great runners like Pam, Winnie, Mona and Beth, who will outstrip them the minute they hit the ground. Looking out the window, Pam remarks on how flat the land is. I live in Minnesota and it looks totally normal to me.
There are more wildlife glamour-shots and then the first charter flight touches down on a dirt airstrip somewhere in the wilderness. The first two teams run to the "airstrip lounge," with the country singers in the lead. They read the clue: "Drive down Old Xhumaga Road, following the marked route and search for your clue." They follow another sign, this one hand-painted on a hunk of driftwood, pointing them to "Airstrip Parking" down a long dirt road. Once they reach that facility, which is roughly the opposite of a multi-story airport ramp you find stateside, they get into SUVs, with Anthony driving the lead vehicle and Caroline driving the other. "Four heads better than two, I guess," Anthony says. Depends on which four.
The second flight lands -- with Joey afraid to open his eyes -- and they get their clue in third place, just ahead of Max & Katie. Then it's a run to the parking lot for these four as well. I notice as Joey drives away, with Max right behind him, that there are printed instructions taped to the center of each vehicle's steering wheel. I speculate that it might be a warning not to get out of the vehicle to approach wildlife and to stay in the car if it approaches you. Or maybe it just says, "Diesel only, dummy."
Bates is still pretty happy to be A) in the Kalahari and B) followed closely by Caroline and Jennifer. They're approaching an area where groups of locals in loincloths are jogging up to a fallen log that has jars containing rolled-up clues sitting on it. They each extract one of these clues with some effort and read from the Roadblock clue, "Who wants to make a new friend?" Bates volunteers, saying he wants to make new friends all the time. Phil narrates, "The Kalahari Bushmen are the earliest inhabitants of southern Africa, having survived here for tens of thousands of years." And some of them look it, too. Over footage of Bushmen going about their daily business, Phil explains that the racers will "learn a skill from these indigenous people, when they go in search of a Bushman's best friend: a scorpion." If that's true, it sounds like the Bushmen could use some new friends. Phil says this last bit as he's crouching right to a Bushman who just dug a little yellow one out of the ground. He goes on to explain that each racer doing this Roadblock will be led to a scorpion hole, where they'll dig one out. Then the Bushman will put it in a Mason jar -- you know, like they've been doing for tens of thousands of years -- and lead the racers over to a stump where they'll find their clue. Both Caroline and Bates go running off with a trio of Bushmen each. "I'm running through the middle of Africa," Bates reports. "Just running. Not even looking anywhere if there's a lion." He says it doesn't even cross your mind, which it clearly has. Just then one of the Bushmen fakes him out, acting like he just spotted a threat. "Quit scaring me!" Bates yelps. Ah, the international language of hazing.
Elsewhere, two of Caroline's guides suddenly drop into a half-crouch, which she gamely imitates. Spotting a lion at some distance (so far that even the Amazing Cameraman can't zoom all the way in on it, forcing the Amazing Editors to do a circular blackout of most of the screen in such a way that one expects the lion to stutter, "Th-th-that's all, folks!") they dart in the opposite direction to climb a tree. "Do you want me to climb up the tree with you?" Caroline wonders, not having seen the big cat herself. She stays on the ground until it wanders off and they come back down, but she's pretty impressed with their climbing skills. It's not really clear at what point she realized that she was ever within sight of Mufasa over there. "I just assumed I was gonna be okay," she interviews. And yes, feel free to mock, but I didn't see any camera footage taken from up in a tree either, so she wasn't the only one who stayed on the ground.
The third flight lands, with Beth & Mona in fifth place, Chuck & Wynona in sixth and Pam & Winnie in seventh. Those rankings hold all the way to the vehicles in the parking lot. "We're in last place, but we're right behind Chuck & Wynona," Pam says, as though being behind Chuck & Wynona automatically means they won't be in last place for long. And I can understand why she would think that.
The teams from the second flight show up and Joey quickly regrets agreeing to do this, all but sobbing that he's petrified of scorpions. Max is taking the news with a little less drama and no sobbing at all.
Bates's group of Bushmen leads him to a tiny hole in the sand to an equally tiny bush and one of them starts digging with a stick while another instructs him in their language, "Get the hole started. Then let him do it." The digging Bushman switches to his bare hand, then lets Bates take over with his. Bates is not entirely thrilled over this. Meanwhile, Caroline is also getting shown what to do. She interviews that she's used to scorpions -- being from Texas and all -- but she seems a little nervous about digging with her bare hands for something she's sure is going to come bolting out of there all pissed off. That girl has been on some bad dates, hasn't she?
Max marvels over the reality of Bushmen: "These guys don't have day jobs. They're not actors. They were the real deal." As far as he knows. He follows along as they chat in their language, asking them if they caught the Bills game. Wise-ass.
On the hunt for a scorpion hole, Joey is still fussing and whining as though he's made it his personal mission to make this episode Bad For The Gays. "Maybe one of you guys could put it in the jar for me?" he wheedles. Bates and/or his team have successfully exhumed a live scorpion, which one of them pulls out into the open with a stick and then carefully snatches up by its barbed tail. The Bushman has Bates watch as he lets the thing pinch his fingers with its claws, then shows Bates how that feels, which Bates claims isn't that bad. "I don't mind being pinched... by the country singers," he interviews. Then he shows us his new scorpion in a jar saying, "Look at that guy. He is not happy. But I am!" That's because you don't have air holes right now, Bates.
Caroline is still digging away with a stick. So is Max, wearing a sport glove on one hand. Joey digs gingerly with a stick and then even more gingerly with his hands. "I'm only 21 years old. I don't want to die," he frets.
Mona takes this task on for the derby moms. By this time, Bates & Anthony are opening their clue, which tells them to take their three Bushmen for a ride. Their passengers get themselves crammed into the very back seat of the SUV as the brothers continue down the road. I can only assume that the Bushmen were briefed ahead of time on what was going to happen to them today. Or else they're more accustomed to hopping into cars with Americans than one might assume.
Caroline's group excavates a scorpion that tries to make a run for it, but her lead guide quickly snatches it up. He proves to be rather a show-off, sticking the live thing in his mouth and everything. Caroline figures that this was to put it to sleep so she could hold it. He hands it over to her, still holding onto the barb, but a few seconds of interspecies bonding suffices for her before it goes in the jar.
Chuck & Wynona and then Pam & Winnie get to the clues near the waiting Bushmen. Wynona actually volunteers to do a Roadblock for the first time, and Pam's taking this one because of how Winnie hates bugs. As Wynona is led into the bush, she and Chuck interview that he's done five Roadblocks and she's done one, so they need her to catch up a little. Not that she's happy about it. I'm starting to suspect she was fully expecting to be gone by now. Of course, if it hadn't been for Dave's injury, they would be.
Caroline is back in second place and she and Jennifer start chauffeuring their team of Bushmen. Mona gets started digging, Joey continues to dig and Max is pretty much just making his hole wider. Pam and Wynona are on their way out to the bush with their respective groups. Mona's guides dig out her scorpion and after doing the mouth trick, her leader hands it to her by its barb and she cheerfully pops it in the jar. "I was petrified of scorpions, like, ten minutes ago," she says. Actually, she should maybe keep doing that. Max has unearthed one and is totally freaked out by the very sight of it, let alone when his guide starts giving it the oral treatment. Max gasps in horror, his mouth hanging open until he realizes he'd better close it before the scorpion ends up in there. Instead, he puts it in his jar, using his gloved hand. I bet he throws away that glove at the first opportunity. Pam is digging away, and Winona's guides are telling her to dig slowly so as not to kill the scorpion. Not understanding a word they're saying, she starts poking at the dirt with her stick. Mona gets back , putting Max & Katie right behind her and Beth as the derby moms and Team Newlywed leave in third and fourth place respectively. Max tells Katie about the scorpion-in-mouth thing and says, "When I saw it I jumped like a girl." Max has not seen Joey's reaction yet.
Meanwhile, Meaghan remarks that they got here before the derby moms and at the same time as Max & Katie, so she's wondering where Joey is. Well, he's currently freaking out while a Bushman prods a scorpion out of a hole and having a minor meltdown over the prospect of having to touch it. So, you know, don't feel too bad, Max.
After the ads, one of the Bushmen explains to Joey the purpose of the mouth thing: "He's our friend, so we're cleaning him." I don't know if that's true or not, but at least the subtitles give me an advantage over Joey in the sense that I know what he's saying. He instructs the Bushman currently holding the scorpion, "Put it in his hand." Joey is on the verge of panic as the Bushman just barely does so, dangling it over the palm of his hand by its tail. "Oh my God, am I glad that is over," he finally says. So are we all.
Bates asks the Bushmen to sing him a song or something, demonstrating by singing, "La, la, la." "We can't understand you," one of them responds, which is probably just as well because that was kind of offensive. "They don't know that song," Bates says. Eventually, Anthony pulls up to a clue box at the side of the road, where they all pile out and stand together like a team of five as Bates open the clue. It's a Detour, "Fire or Fowl." Cut to Phil at a Bushman camp, saying, "This Detour gives teams the opportunity to learn some of the hunting and gathering skills of these proud Bushmen." For "Fire," they'll come to this camp and try to make fire using two sticks, zebra manure and grass. Then they'll need to use that fire to light an elder's pipe in order to earn their clue. Simple enough, except for how making fire that way is almost impossible for novices. For "Fowl," the Bushmen will take them trapping, setting up an elaborate little snare made of sticks and strings to catch a guinea fowl, a critter that looks like a duck with the body of an armadillo. The trap they'll have to make is like a little mousetrap which they'll have to trigger themselves to get their clue. Beats waiting around for a guinea fowl to show up. The hockey brothers choose Fire, though. The clue apparently also says, "On your way to your Detour choice, your Bushmen will teach you a series of animal calls and signals." So the brothers are soon following along behind them, imitating their noises and arm-waving gestures and hoping they're not performing a rhino mating call.
Caroline and Jennifer are enjoying driving their new friends, appreciating the smiling and laughing from the far-back seats and figuring their passengers are talking about them. "They are very beautiful women," the Bushmen are saying, so there you go. They get to the Detour clue box and decide to go with Fire as well and start following them on their nature walk of animal calls.
Joey returns to Meghan, who is pretty happy to see him as they help their Bushman passengers into the car. "I am the Scorpion King Hunter," Joey lies to Meghan, while one of the bushmen in the back informs the camera, "He was very afraid." If that's all he has to say about it, I'm thinking this particular language must have a rather limited vocabulary.
Pam is digging a growing trench and Wynona is claiming her scorpion is deeper than all the other teams' scorpions somehow. Her bushmen impatiently warn her not to kill the scorpion, because clearly they're going to want it afterwards.
Bates & Anthony get to the campsite, where there is clapping and music and thatched tents and women and children. It's really quite welcoming, unless they do all this every day. Their guides take a bundle of kindling down from where it's been hanging from a tree trunk and go to work with it, lighting the grass and the zebra-poo fairly quickly. They're using the spindle method, which involves one man holding one stick that has shallow holes drilled into it steady on the ground, while someone else inserts the end of another stick with a spiral groove carved on it into one of the holes and spins it as quickly as possible with his bare hands. Presumably the dried zebra crap adds friction and generates enough heat to light the dry grass. I have to admit to being somewhat disappointed that zebra shit is not striped. After watching the demonstration, the brothers get to work trying it. The country singers show up, and Bates admits to being a little nervous because of how this takes both strength to spin the stick, and finesse to keep it from slipping out of the hole. So I'm not sure if he's nervous on the girls' behalf or his own. The new arrivals get to work and Caroline lets us know that she's tried this in real life and failed. Her ancestor Davy Crockett would be so disappointed. Or is it Daniel Boone? Crap, now I'm disappointed in myself.
The derby moms are enjoying having Bushmen in their car, but Katie -- in the vehicle right behind them -- is whining classily about the smell. Soon both teams are following their hosts to the campsite, the derby moms gamely doing the animal noises and Katie muttering, "My God, they stink. Really, Bushmen?" Like they decided this morning to forgo their daily spritz of Axe Body Spray just to annoy her.
Winnie and Chuck are still waiting for their respective partners. Pam is freaked, but not as freaked as Joey was, to see the scorpion extracted, then subdued, then placed on the inside of her wrist, where it sits motionless for a moment before they put it in the jar. "Holy cow, that was probably one of the scariest things I've ever done," she says. Wynona's team also digs one out. "Am I going to die if this thing bites me?" she asks the camera. It doesn't, and it goes in the jar. By now, Pam is already back and she and Winnie hop into their car with their Bushmen guides. Wynona returns and Chuck proudly tells her, "You just jackpotted us. I love you, babe." Not a word about being in last place, which is nice to see. They're soon back on the road.
Bates & Anthony are getting a little smolder going, which may be the first time that has ever happened to them. On the other hand, Caroline & Jennifer are still struggling and getting nowhere. Anthony blows on their grass a bit and soon they have a small, but merry blaze. Anthony holds out a burning stick to the elder, who puts his face right up to it and lights his pipe. So now the hockey brothers get the clue sending them to the Pit Stop -- with their team of Bushmen -- in first place. Phil narrates, "Like the Bushmen, teams must continue making their way on foot to the bluffs overlooking the Botedi River." There they'll find a massive tent that looks like the lobby of a four-star hotel, as Phil says, "This spectacular safari camp, Meno a Kwena, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated." Before heading out, the brothers stop at the country singers' would-be fire to share some tips (not like that, ew), but figure they're going to have to switch Detours anyway. In any case, the brothers are now learning some additional animal calls and signals as they race to finish the leg.
Mona & Beth and then Max & Katie show up at the camp and are amazed to see the fire demonstration. The novelty has already more than worn off for Caroline and Jennifer, however.
Joey indicates the Bushmen behind him and tells Meghan, "These are my new friends." "Did you add them on Facebook already?" she quips. "I'll Tweet you!" he tells them and they basically tell them to keep going this way, like all the other Bushmen have been telling all the other teams. They get to the Detour clue in fifth place and also decide on the Fire Detour. In any case, I think Bushmen's favorite social media site is still Clickr.
Bates & Anthony are the first team to the Pit Stop, where a safari guide greeter welcomes them to the camp. They're pretty out of breath and sweaty after running from the camp, but as the winners of this leg they've won a trip to Phuket. Anthony says it's good to be back in the front and they interview that they've learned a lot and are getting stronger. "At least our body odor is," Bates says, before we see them giving their guides some rather complicated dap.
Joey & Meghan get to the camp, whereupon Joey wishes that the rope-jumping they see going on was the challenge instead. Meanwhile, the other teams who are already there are learning that it takes pampered Americans a lot longer to start a fire this way than it does a Bushman. Max interviews that he's in cigar sales (of course he is) and is thus around pipes and tobacco all the time, but he generally prefers to use a nice lighter rather than "a stick. And poo." Meghan and Joey are working at what she calls the definition of teamwork.
"I feel like we're smuggling Bushmen," Pam jokes to Winnie just before the five of them arrive at the clue box for the Detour. They decide to do Fowl, already knowing, unlike the other teams before them, that making fire from scratch is hard. "It's 'cause we watch a lot of TV," Winnie explains, "so we're very well prepared." They follow their group of Bushmen past some wild cattle, imitating the animal calls. "This is like Sesame Street on crack," Pam says. Yeah, I've already seen Sesame Street on crack. Some call it "Elmo."
Chuck & Wynona are also deciding to do Fowl, because he has plenty of experience hunting and trapping. Not so much with the Bushman animal signals, though, as we soon see.
The country singers are still struggling with their non-fire and in an interview, Jennifer says they wouldn't do so well in the wild. "We'd die," Caroline agrees cheerfully. "We'd be dead." Mona's already nursing a blister, Max & Katie are having trouble and Meghan is suggesting switching, but Joey doesn't want to. Yet.
Pam & Winnie follow their group out to a spot in the bush where they watch their guides construct a little mini-snare. It involves using small sticks and a length of twine to build a tiny corral no bigger than a man's hand, with an egg in the center to serve as bait. The string is pulled taut around the miniature posts by a longer stick that's stuck into the ground and pulled down to bend over the trap, and if the string is touched, it all springs loose of the stakes and somehow tightens itself instantly around whatever was foolish enough to trigger it. After we see some stock footage of a flock of guinea hens trotting along, Pam & Winnie get to start taking a crack at it themselves. When they see Team Mullet show up, they're a little nervous, as Winnie interviews about how Chuck probably does this all the time. "Brushes his teeth, makes a snare, then rinses and checks his whatever he catches." He does indeed seem fairly confident that he can do this.
The county singers finally do decide to switch tasks, and so do Team YouTube and the derby moms, but Max & Katie are going to try sticking it out a little longer (no pun intended). Pam & Winnie are working on their snare, referring frequently to the model constructed for them. So is Chuck, who is in his element and thus referring to the model less frequently. He explains in an interview that instead of having a job in high school, he'd set traps in the morning, catch animals and cash them in at the fur exchange. "I didn't know that about him," Wynona volunteers. I didn't know about fur exchanges until recently, so don't feel bad. Pam & Winnie have their snare together and one of the Bushmen imitates a large guinea fowl, scratching his feet in the dirt and sticking his hand into his snare. It tightens around his wrist and he pretends to fall down and flail about like a trapped bird. Winnie does the same, complete with pantomime, which means their snare works and they get their clue to the Pit Stop, suddenly in second place after spending most of the leg in last. Funny that. As for the new last-place team, Max & Katie are still trying to get their fire going, acutely aware of being the last team at the camp. Nobody else to trick into quitting with them now.
Finally, after the ads, they decide to switch. Max interviews that they decided, "We can beat them at the other thing, whatever it is. Let's just get there." Over at the other Detour, Chuck tells Wynona that he thinks they're in last place. But she remains optimistic, especially when caravans of racers and Bushmen come tromping into view.
Pam & Winnie make to the mat as team number two, which they're cool with. "And you got to run it with your friends here," Phil points out. "I feel one with them," Pam laughs. I'm sure they're flattered.
There's now a whole mess of teams watching the various snare demonstrations being put on by their Bushman guides. But Chuck & Wynona, who got here before all of them, are the team to simulate the snaring of a guinea fowl. Thus they're officially in third place and off to the Pit Stop at a run. For now.
Caroline and Jennifer are trying to arm their trap, but the planted stick that's bent down to provide the tension comes loose and nearly blinds them both. That keeps happening to Beth and Mona too. Joey & Meghan, on the other hand, are demonstrating some decent building skills, both being carpenters' kids. Max & Katie are just trying not to think about being in last place and I don't think they're having any more success at that than they are at building their trap.
Chuck & Wynona make it to the mat in third place, though Wynona looks half dead. Phil remarks that Chuck should be proud of her, which he says he is, repeatedly grabbing her face and kissing her. They're in a much better mood now than they have been for a while. Damn though, Chuck, let the poor woman breathe.
Joey & Meghan watch their guide spring his trap, and then spring their own, getting their Pit Stop clue in fourth place. Caroline & Jennifer are , in fifth place once again. That leaves the derby moms and Team Newlywed as the only teams still at the Detour. Joey & Meghan officially become team number four and Joey tries to high-five the Bushmen. They don't really get the concept, which probably makes it 5% more awkward than most of Joey's high-fives.
Back at the Detour, Max & Katie watch the trapping demo, but when Max tries it with the one they made, it doesn't snap closed. "No, you have done it wrong," one of the bushmen says, so they're going to have to do it again, without really understanding what they did wrong. The only good news for them is that Mona & Beth don't seem to have it figured out either.
Caroline and Jenifer are team number five, again. Phil asks their Bushmen if they think the girls are pretty. Their responses include Hallmark sentiments like "Yes, we like them very much" and "This one is mine" and "This one will stay in the camp." Caroline plays along, and Phil reminds her, "You said you were looking for love." "We found it," Caroline says. Presumably it's her that the Bushmen meant by "this one," because she seems to be a little more fun than the other one. Of course one can only go by what the Amazing Editors show; Jennifer could be hilarious, but we'd never see it if all her jokes are filthy.
Mona gets her hand caught up in the snare to the satisfaction of the derby moms' group of Bushmen, so she and Beth are soon on their way to the Pit Stop, now in sixth place. That leaves Max & Katie in last place, still working on the Detour and not feeling at all good about it. But Beth & Mona, following the tire ruts on the path to the safari camp, suddenly hit on the idea of driving instead. Which I'm sure the clue specifically forbids, but rather than wasting time looking at it, they run all the way back to the parking area to see if the other teams' cars are still there, which they are, so now they have to come back up the path having burned an unknown amount of time. Meanwhile Max & Katie have finished, but they aren't aware of the derby moms' last-minute bonehead move, so they assume their only hope is non-elimination. It's soon a footrace between two teams who can't see each other, but the team to show up at the mat is... Mona & Beth, who are team number six.
Max & Katie finally make it to the mat. "This is sickening," Max says. "This is not the feeling I wanted." But Phil gives them some good news, which is that this is indeed a non-elimination leg. In other words, it's been two full weeks since anyone has actually been eliminated from this race for coming in last. Good thing it was Jessica and John, because that one was good enough to savor for a while. Max interviews, "Today we make a stupid mistake, tomorrow somebody else makes a stupid mistake. We just can't let it be us again." Katie says their honeymoon is continuing in Africa. "Yeah, that tent's gonna be rockin'," Max adds. Oh, man, this episode couldn't have ended six seconds earlier, before we heard that?
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
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