Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Champagne-ful
By M. Giant | Season 16 | Episode 6 | Aired on 03.21.2010
Jet and Cord find a cluster of grapes with a flag on it. Seeing this, Caite agitates to switch tasks. Actually, she harps, "Do you wanna build, or you wanna look? Answer my question!" As if what Brent wants is relevant. Jet and Cord get their clue in fourth place to the familiar strains of the Heroic Cowboy Theme. The other teams must be so damn sick of hearing that thing by now.
Dana and Jordan are finishing their Hail-Mary stack. "Pour it," Dan announces, stepping back with has hands spread before he can knock over the whole fragile megillah with a stray gesture, or a misdirected breath, or a heavy thought (which is a danger Brent and Caite do not face, as we see them descend into even more childish bickering). A host pops the cork on a giant bottle of champagne that Dan's going to have to pour, which he claims in an interview weighs sixty pounds. Maybe if you count the bubbles. "God, why couldn't I be six-two?" Dan carps as he paces around the tower with the mega-magnum. Apparently someone finds him a step-stool, and Jordan holds Dan's hips while Dan pours. So far so good. I actually can't believe this is working. It's like for a brief, shining moment, we're all in Jordan's world.
Caite tells Brent she thinks they should build. "All right, I'm gonna listen to you," he says. They enter while Dan is still pouring, and Caite tells Brent to hand her the glasses and she'll line them up, getting pretty snippy when he tries to help. "I might as well let you build this by yourself," he bitches. "You're Miss Perfect. "I know, that's why you date me," she says. I don't think either of them is being sincere. Oh, and they're going with the square-based pyramid as well.
Jet and Cord check in as team number four. "It's a scary day," Cord says. Indeed. But I'm going on record right now that none of the three teams that failed to beat them to the mat after they drove to the wrong city twice in one leg has a chance in hell of winning the million dollars. Feel free to come back in three weeks.
Dan's pouring continues. "It looks cool," Jordan says. It does indeed. Once the bottle is empty and most of the glasses are full, they get their clue, in fifth place. "I have a feeling Dano and I are gonna get some calls from bar- and bat-mitzvahs around the world, asking us to build a champagne tower for them and we want people to know that we're available for that." "But we're every expensive," Dan points out, which I think is his way of telling Jordan right now, "Please stop talking." Something tells me he's developed a whole repertoire over the years. They take the time to toast before heading off. As they leave the warehouse, finally in a hurry, Brent whispers, "If we would have found that stupid grape..." Too bad for Brent and Caite this isn't The Amazing Second-Guess And Finger-Point. As they continue building, we hear Brent say, "From now on, I'm just gonna listen to every single word Caite says. I think we probably would have found a set of grapes by now, but I would have had my ear chewed off also for the last hour and twenty minutes." What a shame that she doesn't share Brent's maturity and verbal restraint.