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It's off to Australia, where the teams cope with a pretty beachside Detour, and then a substantially less pretty prison-bound Roadblock. Tension between MoJo and BJ and Tyler mounts after the pleasant, easygoing hippies try to make their competitors give them money by threatening to Yield those who don't, and it doesn't get any better from there. After Fran and Barry run into trouble getting a taxi, they fall behind, and Fran's performance at the Roadblock isn't enough to pull them out. While it seems like Ray and Yolanda are destined to get lost again and come in last again, it is in fact Fran and Barry who are finally bounced. For once, all of the "we're going to be laaaaast" rhetoric isn't just a lot of loose talk. In other news, BJ and Tyler beg for money (as appealing as always), Joseph and Monica bicker with surprising vigor, and Eric and Jeremy get back to what they really love -- talking about themselves and all the sweet, sweet lovin' they could be getting right now if they weren't busy racing. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Oman For All Seasons: Camels proved that they are not known as "The Seventh-Grade Drama Queens Of The Desert World" for nothing. The teams did some wandering around in search of magic boxes and hidden camel depositories, and then they found themselves at a very toasty Roadblock where dinner was buried under a mountain of sand. BJ showed why hippies are not native to Oman when he had a far more difficult time foraging than anyone else apparently did. He and Tyler arrived at the pit stop very much in last place, but they were saved by the beloved/feared non-elimination point, so all Phil did was take a bunch of what are probably very smelly clothes, along with a few trinkets and peace symbols and things obtained as thank-you gifts during NPR pledge drives. Now, we are down to five teams. Who will be eliminated...?
Phil welcomes us back to Jabreen Castle, where there is presumably some time-lapse photography going on, or else these are some crazy-ass clouds. Maybe time just goes very quickly there, in which case I propose that all future continuing legal education seminars be held at this very location. We are reminded how the teams arrived, from the ecstatic Fran and Barry to the equally ecstatic BJ and Tyler, who are here to sound their barbaric "T-Tow!" from the rooftops. Don't worry; it will be sounding very soon. Phil wonders whether the hippie "way with people" will work to their benefit, apparently unaware that this "way" does not work on all "people," because some "people" are like "me." Phil also wonders whether Fran and Barry will hold on to the lead they manage to emerge with at the end of the leg. Oh, probably. What could go wrong for them, as long as there are no scary tasks, invisible clue boxes, confusing Detour choices, or meddling obstructionist dentists?
5:35 PM. Fran and Barry. The clue tells them to fly to Perth, Australia, which Phil informs us is a trip of more than 9000 miles. And yes, we are introduced to Australia via a shot of a kangaroo. Sigh. Now y'all know how people in Minnesota feel about shots of loons, and how people in Wisconsin feel about shots of Brett Favre making a "maybe, maybe not" gesture with his hands like he's weighing his options. ["Jersey gets shots of belching smokestacks. I feel Australia on that, kind of, but at least a kangaroo is not a pollutant. …I assume." -- Sars] Phil tells us that Perth is just inland from the Indian Ocean, and is the capital of Western Australia. As Fran and Barry leave, she explains that they're stopping to give money to BJ and Tyler. Because apparently, in a competition, one of your goals is to make it easier for other people to catch up with you. They're giving BJ and Tyler $20, as a result of the mugging at the close of the last leg. Barry says in an interview that he thinks the other teams now realize that they are "real competitors." However, all the other teams are "35 years younger" than they are. Their "travel experience," however, has kept them in the hunt. It certainly has not been...many of their other qualities.
5:54 PM. Joseph and Monica. As they leave, there is some talk about either giving BJ and Tyler one dollar, or just acting like they're giving them money. Joseph gives the usual speech for this point in the race about how things are starting to get very competitive, and I'm sure that, as it usually does, it means nothing except that everyone smells really crappy and they've all grown to hate each other while spending far too many hours holed up in train stations and airport coffee shops. Joseph thinks that he and Monica will be fine if they "work together and slow down." That's just what you want at this point in the race, of course -- to slow down. "I'll just be happy when the hippies are gone," Monica says in the car. "The hippies wanted us to leave money on their car." And then there is a chopped-up sequence in which she says, "They said if we didn't give them money [obvious chop] they wanted to Yield us." According to what came out on the Insider videos later, that's a bit of a misleading chop, because what apparently happened is more like: they first heard that BJ and Tyler were going to Yield them, and then they decided not to give them any money -- in other words, it wasn't a threat, according to what we heard. Not that I would put it past BJ and Tyler, certainly. But anyway, she goes on to say she doesn't think going on about Yielding people is the smartest thing BJ and Tyler could have done while they're short of cash, and I'm with her right up until the part where she refers to her team not as "MoJo," but as "the MoJo," and that simply will not do.
As Fran and Barry head out of town, they run into a traffic jam, so they pull into a gas station to find out what the story is. The guy tells them that it's possible that the King is coming through. Oh, I hate that. Whenever the president of Senegog comes around, it totally ruins my day. They ask about a "back way" to the airport, but the gas-station guy breaks the news that there's no way to the airport except through this particular mess of traffic. Fran and Barry conclude that there's apparently nothing to do but wait.
MoJo encounters the same traffic, and they also conclude that there's nothing they can do about it. So far, this episode is not a barn-burner, you know?
6:26 PM. Ray and Yolanda. Yolanda interviews that after doing really well and not arguing, they just went crazy in the last leg and haven't been communicating well at all. She also says that they left money for BJ and Tyler. Boo! Ray thinks that MoJo left something, but that it was "just paper." Yolanda chalks this up to MoJo's personalities: "They front as being nice people, but they're not nice at all." Hmm. I wonder where that impression came from. I don't recall seeing any nonsense between these teams, so perhaps it's just a general observation. It's interesting, in any event.
6:47 PM. Here go Eric and Jeremy. As they go, they leave BJ and Tyler a $100 IOU. Hee. "They're hippies," Jeremy says. "They'll find out how to make gas from trees out here or something." Hey, every once in a while, even a blind pig finds a truffle. Eric says that giving money to other teams is "dumb." He'd know, after all. Jeremy says that to him, it's like you're not even competing if you're giving away money just to advance other people's position in the race. Which is very true. I don't know why you would give people money, any more than you would slow down to let them catch up to you. In an interview, however, Eric ruins their brief moment of right-ness by saying that the competition is "like trying to get in a girl's pants, you know? Lie, cheat, steal...you know, whatever you can." I don't even want to know what the "steal" refers to.
Up ahead, Fran thinks that the King has now passed, and indeed, it seems like the traffic is finally loosening. Joseph and Monica lament the time that's been lost. Ray and Yolanda are hoping everyone ran into this mess just like they did. Eric and Jeremy observe fireworks, but they are fretting over the traffic as well. It makes them think perhaps BJ and Tyler will miss a flight, and wouldn't that be grand? Maybe the King will return with a flat tire.
8:21 PM. BJ and Tyler tear their clue open with their teeth. Which is hilarious, because most people open clues with their hands, and BJ and Tyler are opening their with their mouths. That's what makes it funny. They read about how one team has no money, which is also hilarious, although now, I'm really exhausted. They leave. Mercilessly, that is not at all funny. When they get to their vehicle, they note that Ray and Yolanda left $10, and Fran and Barry left $20. And Eric and Jeremy left the IOU. "I'm worried about the teams that didn't give us money," BJ says in a way he hopes to pass off as menacing, even though he's about as threatening as Elroy Jetson. "Joseph and Monica...better watch out," he continues, stroking Astro the entire time. Tyler, for his part, waxes blankly rhapsodic in an interview about how he always used to wonder what it would be like to travel the world with nothing, and now he's going to find out. He meant to do that! BJ says that their "goofy attitude" has worked so far, so they're going to keep on keeping on. "Let's go put another prawn on the barbie!" Tyler says in the car. See, now, that's what you get when your search for the funny and ironic in life takes you to the Paul Hogan section of the video store.
Fran and Barry and MoJo arrive at the airport. MoJo gets inside first, it appears, and they find out that there's a flight on Emirates Airlines, connecting to Perth through Dubai. It's apparently leaving at 12:45, according to Monica. Fran and Barry come up close behind. Outside, Ray and Yolanda are arriving at the airport, so all these teams are stacked up when Eric and Jeremy get there. With a chuckle, Eric asks if Joseph wants to give up what flight they're on, and Joseph chuckles back and says they'll let the boys figure that out for themselves. I thought those two guys handled that okay; I don't blame Eric for asking, or Joseph for saying no, and neither of them seemed to get snotty about it. Joseph expresses his hopes in a voice-over that BJ and Tyler won't make it to the airport. If you've seen this show before, you know that in many cases, those who are expected not to make it to the airport have a way of showing up.
BJ and Tyler. Tyler says that they've seen lots of hitchhikers since they've been in Oman, and before they leave the country, they've decided to pick one up. They go about this by picking up a guy by hollering out the window that they're going to the airport and asking him if he wants to come. I'm not even sure he was hitchhiking. He may have just been bored. Of course, now, he will be even more bored. As they drive, they ask him what his name is, and he tells them it's Abdul Hamid. "Abdul Hamid!" Tyler shouts, because it's so exciting that he has a name that sounds just like he was hoping it would. "I am Bedouin," Abdul Hamid tells them. "I am from the desert." "I am from, uh, New Jersey," BJ says, and I am reminded that he is undoubtedly very funny at times. You'll notice that line (1) grew organically out of the moment; (2) was not rehearsed; and (3) was not "I am a hippie" shtick. And yet, much funnier than most of the "love me, look at me" stuff he works so hard at. Funny how that goes.
At the airport, the other teams are picking up their tickets for the flight to Perth through Dubai. "Looks like the hippies won't be able to get on it," Eric observes. Now, they are just toying with me.
BJ and Tyler are low on gas, so they pull into a gas station. In the convenience store, Abdul Hamid hooks them up with some Snickers bars, making him obviously the best Bedouin ever. BJ explains that Abdul Hamid is a Bedouin, and he and Tyler are "like American Bedouins." I wonder what that's supposed to mean. I'm not sure what being a Harvard-educated improv comedian has to do with being a camel-herding nomad. Anyway, the guy is paying for their gas and Snickers and juice and stuff. I don't suppose it would occur to BJ and Tyler that if the guy was in a bad enough position to actually be hitchhiking, it might be the nice thing to do not to take his money to buy Snickers bars. At any rate, as they part, Abdul Hamid -- who is apparently being left at the gas station -- touches his nose to Tyler's, so BJ insists on getting the same. "Man, that guy rocked my world," Tyler says as they drive off.
The lead four teams get on the plane, and they're all hoping that BJ and Tyler won't make it. This is a very typical racing scene, in which there is supposedly all this tension over how maybe they won't make the flight, will they make it on the flight, the other teams hope they don't make the flight, they're in such a hurry, so important that they get on the flight, please don't let them get on the flight, please let us get on the flight. "T-Tow" makes its first appearance as they run toward the plane. And then we cut to commercial, and is there really anyone who doesn't know how this is going to go?
When we return, BJ and Tyler run onto the plane. What a surprise that is. No one is happy to see them. "Time to rub it in their faces," BJ says. Just like a Bedouin would. And rub it in they do. Ray affirms that nobody was happy to see them. "How annoying," Monica mutters, which is more than a bit pot-kettle, really. BJ and Tyler are loud and shrieky and obnoxious on the flight, which I'm sure is appreciated by all the regular people who are just trying to fly from Muscat to Dubai in the middle of the night without being hollered and "T-Tow"-d at. Again, I'm thinking a Bedouin knows how to behave in public a little more appropriately than this. Not only that, but here in the middle of the night, BJ and Tyler go around and beg for money on the plane. Undoubtedly, some of their targets want sleep more than they want to hang on to, say, their five dollars.
The Amazing Map and the Amazing Yellow Line tell us that all the teams are now headed to Perth on this same flight. Phil says that once they get there, they'll take taxis to Kings Park, and they'll search for a war memorial where the clue box is located. And then we are in Perth, and all the teams are dashing out of the airport, and that 9000 miles went really, really fast. First into a taxi: MoJo. Then Eric and Jeremy, Ray and Yolanda, BJ and Tyler, and finally Fran and Barry. "We're behind," Barry complains. I have a feeling that if all the teams started in a straight-across line and were allowed to start at precisely the same moment, and everyone took one step, and other people's first step was slightly longer than Fran and Barry's first step, you would immediately hear one of them complain that they were behind.
Eric and Jeremy's taxi flies by MoJo, in spite of MoJo's efforts to keep it from happening. Eric and Jeremy comment on how mad Joseph looked -- they seem to find his growing fury more amusing than particularly threatening. For her part, Monica snots that after Eric and Jeremy went by, there was a distinct foul odor. Oh, so this is what they all mean by getting "competitive." Yolanda, on the other hand, thinks that she and Ray need to concentrate on "internal business." So they're thinking maybe on this leg, there should be less distracting fighting. In their cab, BJ and Tyler note that they have more than $300. Now, of course, if the borrowing from other teams was premised on those teams' "niceness," then the obligation would be obvious to pay them back, right? I mean, if you have more than enough, then you pay back people who gave you money -- there's at least as much of a "niceness" obligation to do that as there ever could be to give money to you, right? Right? So you paid them back, right? I sure hope so. I'd hate to think they were total hypocrites.
Red light, green light, Fran light, Barry light. Traffic, traffic, traffic.
Eric and Jeremy are the first to get to the clue box at the war memorial. When they pull the clue, Phil explains that they have to go to Fremantle and find a Ferry to Rottnest Island, which is apparently a "vacation spot." That always strikes me as vaguely suspicious, when they can't find anything to say about a place except that people vacation there. It's like sending a U.S.-only race to the Wisconsin Dells. Eric and Jeremy's taxi driver tells them that the taxi ride will probably be 45 minutes to an hour to Fremantle, so they leave. MoJo gets the clue , and they take their taxi as well. Ray and Yolanda's driver, on the other hand, tells them that the ride will be about an hour and a half. I guess he doesn't want to go, huh? Yolanda comments that they don't have enough money for that long of a taxi ride, which is why you don't give away money to other teams, eeee-yikes. BJ and Tyler pull the clue and get back in their cab, who tells them that it will take 30 or 40 minutes unless they charter a bus. Apparently, he drives a bit more quickly than Ray and Yolanda's driver does. Yolanda, elsewhere, explains that their awesome driver has explained how to take a bus from Perth to the Fremantle ferry station.
Fran and Barry get the clue. They are aware of being behind, and they just hope to get on the same ferry as everyone else. I really should have made a macro at some point for "Fran and Barry worry about being behind."
Eric and Jeremy arrive at the ferry station, closely followed by MoJo. There's no ferry until 7:30 in the morning, so they all start looking for a hotel. They're told that there's a "backpacker hotel" nearby. Well, they do have backpacks. They'll fit right in! Fran and Barry arrive , having taken their taxi and slipped ahead of the bus-takers. They're not last! What will they talk about? Oh, wait. You'll find out in a minute, and you'll kind of miss the times when they were last.
At the Perth bus station, Ray and Yolanda and BJ and Tyler get on the bus.
Backpacker hotel. Fran is sort of shocked to find that there are other people in their room with them. "This race has ruined our sex life, I'll tell you that," Barry says. And...props to them for being proud of their active sex life, but I don't think I'd need to hear that coming from anybody, so much. After all, I haven't enjoyed it the 4000 or so times that Eric and Jeremy have said something similar. BJ and Tyler and Ray and Yolanda get to the ferry station, find out the times, and also head for a hotel.
7:30 AM. All teams get on the ferry to Rottnest Island. (Motto: "We're Back, And We're Rottner Than Ever.") This is a 13-mile trip, it turns out, and when it's over, they'll pick up a tandem bike from a bike shop and ride to a nearby lighthouse. We see the ferry arrive, and all the teams run for the bike shop. First to get moving? Eric and Jeremy, as usual. Then MoJo, then BJ and Tyler, then Fran and Barry, then Ray and Yolanda. Out in the lead, Eric and Jeremy note that some of these hills are sort of difficult. MoJo notes the same thing. "My thighs are killing me," Joseph says. Tyler tells BJ to "push hard," and BJ sounds like he's about to crack Tyler's skull when he says, "I am pushing." I kind of feel like BJ knows how they're acting more than Tyler does, and I cannot for the life of me figure out which of them I think that reflects more poorly upon. Fran and Barry, on the other hand, could do this all day, as they apparently do distance biking themselves. Good for them. Good for your sex life, I hear! Barry interviews that they're fitter than they were 20 years ago. (See?) Ray and Yolanda stop to switch so that he's in front.
Eric and Jeremy get to the clue box, and it's a Detour. The choices are Sand and Sea. In Sand, you choose a pile of 40 big branches. You drag them 126 yards to stack them in another pile. This has something to do with preventing beach erosion, and when they're done, they'll get their clue. In Sea, you have to dive and search through 50 crayfish traps for the ones that contain live crayfish. Each person on the team has to find a trap and take a crayfish out, and then when they turn the crayfish in, they'll get the clue. This Detour is not approved by the Crayfish Association Of Australia. Both Detours will start with a bike ride to a beach called Salmon Bay. Eric and Jeremy think that they'll take the Sea, and a newly arrived MoJo is similarly inclined.
BJ and Tyler arrive at the Detour clue, and they exchange some muttering under their respective breath -- MoJo hates the hippies, Tyler vows that MoJo is in trouble when the Yield comes, MoJo thinks the hippies just "follow"...it reflects well on no one. You know the drill. BJ and Tyler want to do Sand. They greet Fran and Barry, who are just arriving. Fran and Barry decide to do Sand, since Fran says she can't dive. It's probably another thing she's afraid of, along with bungee jumping. Ray and Yolanda come in behind them, and she comments, "Frankenbarry dusted us. They may look old, but they're gooood." I despise most of those mashed-together names, but I understand the sentiment. They read the clue and chose Sand.
Now, Eric and Jeremy and BJ and Tyler arrive at Salmon Bay. Eric and Jeremy have to start by getting into their swimsuits. BJ and Tyler choose a stack of branches and start dragging. Elsewhere, MoJo is a little lost, and Monica keeps trying to get Joseph to stop so she can look at the map. He snaps at her, but they do stop, and when they look at the map...what do you know? They were going the wrong way. "Sorry," he mutters. "That's why I want you to pay attention," she repeats. "I AM PAYING ATTENTION I'M DRINKING WATER I CAN'T STOP," he says, and she asks him not to "freak out." Ha! She should talk, good grief. Not that I'm particularly sure what drinking water has to do with paying attention to where they're going.
Eric and Jeremy get ready for the Detour. "We are in our, uh, Amazing Speedos," Jeremy observes. Well...on the one hand, I don't approve of noting your own Speedo, but on the other hand, I do appreciate the use of "Amazing" as a random modifier during race situations. That is one of the many things that would make me an annoying contestant on a purely superficial level. I would do that all the time. "Uh, the Amazing Travel Agent just told us that our Amazing Flight is Amazingly Delayed." I would not be able to help myself. And then I would have to write a recap in which I told myself to "amazingly shut up." Things just get so meta. At any rate, Jeremy also has to mention how they'd be hooking up with chicks if only there were some, blah blah blah. They charge into the water with some kind of comment about "wait for the shrivelage." "Shrivelage"? Do they not know the iconic vocabulary, or are they trying to strike out on their own? I do not know the answer. They begin to dive down and peek in crayfish traps.
Fran and Barry, pedaling. They park at Salmon Bay. BJ and Tyler are already dragging as Fran and Barry join in. She immediately starts to complain about how hard it is. There's a surprise.
Eric dives down and gets a crayfish. Two more "T-Tow!" occurrences as BJ and Tyler drag branches. Jeremy gets a crayfish. The boys, they are done. They go and turn in their crayfish to the friendly attendant, and he gives them their clue. MoJo arrives just as the guys are getting ready to leave.
Eric and Jeremy open their clue, which says to get back to the mainland and make your way to Fremantle Prison. As Phil explains, it was built by convicts, which is nicely circular, I suppose ("My ant farm was built by ants!") and it was shut down in 1991. Under the prison, there are tunnels that were used to supply water. At the prison, teams will get a clue.
MoJo starts to get into bathing suits. BJ and Tyler, still dragging. Fran and Barry, still dragging. As Eric and Jeremy leave on their bike, they puzzle over why BJ and Tyler chose the "manual labor" task when they "went to Harvard and Stanford." I do know a few people who have attended prestigious colleges who have the ability to do yardwork, so I'm not sure this is so shocking. MoJo emerges in their suits. We are subjected to "T-Tow" number three, as BJ and Tyler finish up and leave. They remind us again that they don't like MoJo. Joseph grabs a crayfish, but Monica is under the impression that they only need one, so they head in. Uh-oh. Ray and Yolanda arrive, and they're aware that they need to keep going.
MoJo tries to turn in their crayfish, and they get the news that they need a second one. "We've got the crappiest luck!" Joseph complains as they run back to the water. That's not luck, of course -- that's failure to read the clue. Which is quite different, though equally vexing. Fran and Barry finish up their branch-dragging, and they get the prison clue and leave. So MoJo is still stuck in the water, and Ray and Yolanda are still dragging. Joseph orders Monica to dive down to a trap with a crayfish in it, but she gets scared and doesn't want to touch it. She's upset, he's telling her not to be upset, it appears that the task may not get done at all, and it's therefore a perfect time for another Commercial Break Of Obvious Misdirection.
We return from the CBOOM, and Monica promptly dives down, takes a crayfish, and surfaces with it in her hand. See? It wasn't that scary, Monica! They swim for shore and turn in their crayfish, and this time, they get their clue. Ray and Yolanda, meanwhile, continue to drag branches. In one of my favorite moments of the episode, Joseph mutters to Monica as they get ready to bike away, "We are the kings of...not reading the clues right and stuff." And what's genius is that he says this while putting his helmet on backwards. It's just...you can't make that up. They bike away.
Ray and Yolanda finish up and get their clue. Time to head for Fremantle Prison. This entire sequence has an awesome "I love you, baby! Let's go to jail!" thing going on.
Eric and Jeremy return to the bike shop, and they manage to get on a ferry that's just about to leave, so they've been lucky again. BJ and Tyler aren't far behind, but they don't make it. They learn that Eric and Jeremy got on the ferry, and some locals tell them that they can get on the ferry that's leaving, which is going to Hillarys, and then they can grab a taxi to the prison. They are assured that this will be a half-hour faster overall, so they yammer happily about how they're going to have a lead of a half-hour over everybody except Eric and Jeremy. Fran and Barry return their bikes, and then they go to the visitor center, where they learn how to get to Fremantle Prison and also think to call for a taxi that should be waiting for them when they get off the ferry. That's a good thought.
MoJo returns to the bike shop. Ray and Yolanda do, too, and Fran and Barry. So...the last three teams all get on the same ferry together. So much for...much of what just happened.
Eric and Jeremy arrive at the Fremantle port. Then BJ and Tyler get to the Hillarys port. It appears that Eric and Jeremy are going to walk to the prison, while BJ and Tyler are (obviously) getting a cab from Hillarys to Fremantle. On the second ferry to Fremantle, Joseph borrows a cell phone and does just what Fran and Barry did -- he arranges for a taxi to meet them when they get off the boat. He gives his name.
Eric and Jeremy get directions to the prison, and they're there in no time. And they seriously need to stop saying "Crikey," because it is horribly lame. Right up there with "pizza pie," although at least they're not doing it in the faces of the locals. When they find the clue box at the prison, they rip the clue, which Phil tells us is a Roadblock, with the teaser, "Who's ready for a great escape?" Phil says that in this Roadblock, the person goes into the prison and searches for one of several cells in Division 4 that have Duracell batteries and a flashlight. (And you should enjoy the batteries and flashlight, because you will be getting a beauty shot of them every single time a contestant enters a cell to retrieve them.) With the flashlight in hand, they'll look around the grounds for a door that leads into the underground tunnel system. Then, they'll search wet or dry tunnels for a clue.
After running around aimlessly and having to be told by Brainiac Eric to go inside the prison, Jeremy goes inside the prison, where he finds Division 4, and it doesn't take him too long to find a room with a flashlight in it. Now, he needs to find the tunnel system. "That's an outhouse," he says after opening a door to one outbuilding. So this search is not off to the best possible start, as you can see.
BJ and Tyler are finding that the taxi ride from Hillarys to Fremantle is just not what they were told it would be, and it's not going all that well. Traffic and whatnot. Back on the ferry, MoJo and Fran and Barry discuss the fact that they both have taxis waiting. Barry talks about how he gave his name (which Joseph did, too, of course), and Joseph tells Barry that, straight up, he's going to hop into the first cab he can find, and if it's the wrong one, it's the wrong one. In other words, "I will steal your taxi as soon as look at you, old man, so you'd better run." When the ferry arrives and the teams scramble off, Barry and Fran are running around saying, "Taxi? Taxi for Fran and Barry?" But there is no response. The one taxi that is there has a driver in it who clearly says, "Joseph." So that is the MoJo cab, and MoJo jumps into it. Fran and Barry approach anyway to inquire (can't blame them, since Joseph already said he wanted to steal their cab), but the guy repeats, "Joseph." "He said our name," Monica says as they ride off, "so they can't say we stole their cab." Indeed, it appears that Fran and Barry's cab did not show, which stinks, to be sure. They had the right idea, but it didn't apparently pay off. Ray and Yolanda, meanwhile, decide to scrap the entire taxi thing and just walk to the prison as Eric and Jeremy did. Fran and Barry are unable to quickly find a cab. "Went from good to bad to worse," Barry grumps. "We're last right now," Fran says. They seem not to realize that they can just walk to the prison -- I'm sure it's a bit of a hike, but if they bike that hard, I'm sure they can swing it. I wonder if it would have been faster.
Back from more commercials, we join Fran and Barry, still hunting for taxis. They finally flag down a bus, and it tells them that it will take them to the prison. Meanwhile, Jeremy cannot find the entrance into the prison at all, and he's getting very frustrated. They're also surprised that there aren't other teams there yet, although presumably, it's the "relieved" kind of surprised. Joseph takes the Roadblock, and Monica and Eric chat about how long the boys have been there already. BJ and Tyler come , unhappy that MoJo passed them on the way there by waiting around for the Fremantle ferry. Yeah, those mischievous locals will lead you astray every time. Tyler takes the Roadblock for his team.
Finally, Jeremy finds the tunnel ("Who put this tunnel here?", he demands to know), and the guy puts him into safety gear and lowers him down into the deep. As they descend, the guy tells Jeremy that the dry tunnels are to the right, and the boats are to the left. I think I'm glad he didn't say "wet tunnels," because...I think we know Jeremy could not have shown restraint, given that I barely could myself. Jeremy climbs into a boat and rows off.
Tyler and Joseph are both hunting for Division 4. When they run into each other, Tyler wants to know if it's Division 4 that they're in. "I don't know, man," Joseph says. Tyler proposes that they work together to try to find out, but Joseph just repeats, "Dude, I'm not sure." thing you know, however, Joseph busts into one of the cells and retrieves his flashlight. As he fiddles with the batteries in the corridor, Tyler walks up to him and, standing under the sign that says, "No. 4 Division," asks, "Is this all number four division?" Joseph repeats that he doesn't know. Which seems plausible, since they apparently have the same information, which would seem to be the giant sign on the wall. Joseph heads off to look for the tunnel system, and Tyler finds himself a flashlight and puts in the batteries.
Jeremy floats down a tunnel, but announces that he's "having problems here."
Ray and Yolanda find the prison and the Roadblock clue. She takes the task. Finally, then, Fran and Barry get to the clue. He says she should do it, and she says, "Oh, Bar. I'm scared." "No, you're good at it," he says, meaning, I guess...escaping from prison? That would make her a lot more interesting than I envision her being. Fran runs off into the prison. Which I guess is like Old Home Week for her.
Jeremy finds himself floating back to the guys who sent him off in the first place, sort of the way Bruce Willis keeps passing the same pinups in Die Hard. So he gives up on the rowing and runs into the dry tunnels instead. There, he finds himself a clue. See, Jeremy? The wet tunnels are treacherous. Where are you with making that joke? He heads out.
Joseph is lowered into the tunnel system, passing Jeremy on the way. "Take the canoe," Jeremy says. Ooh, liar. Out in the prison yard, Eric and Jeremy read the clue that sends them to the pit stop. Phil tells us that the clue requires them to work their way through Fremantle to the Fremantle Sailing Club. There, they'll find the pit stop. Last team in "may" be eliminated. Eric and Jeremy find only MoJo's cab outside, so they ask the drivers about the sailing club, and they are told that they can walk there, so they take the directions and leave on foot. It's like a Walking Tour Of Fremantle. I hope they have good shoes on.
Joseph does find a clue in the tunnel with the boat, so the attempt at misdirection doesn't help Eric and Jeremy too much. Tyler is still searching for the tunnels.
Yolanda finds her flashlight and puts in the batteries. She looks for the tunnel. Fran does the same. She tells Barry outside that she can't find the tunnel, and he tells her to "be methodical." Man, there's some specific and helpful advice. It's worth about as much as "Do it in the best and most efficient way possible!" Or, to make it shorter, "Hurry!"
Locals do not help Eric and Jeremy find the sailing club. They're starting to fret over the fact that MoJo will be traveling by cab, while they will be hoofing it and still don't know exactly where they're going. Speaking of whom, MoJo rips the clue and leaves for the sailing club. Eric and Jeremy run through the streets, and they really are beginning to think they maybe should have gotten a taxi. Eric and Jeremy run. MoJo drives. And then we are at the sailing club, and the teams are actually in sight of each other. Now, everyone is running. "Jeremy start running!" Eric hollers. Phil is waiting at the mat. Mat. Teams. Mat. Teams. And, first to the mat...Eric and Jeremy, with Monica and Joseph only a few yards behind them. Phil checks in the two teams, and then he brings Eric and Jeremy back to receive their trip for two to Hong Kong. And they'll get spa treatments! Well, they'll both look adorable in mud wraps, I'm sure. Fortunately, MoJo, who are initially pissed off and clearly frosted at barely losing out, seem relatively good-natured once it's all said and done.
Tyler and Yolanda work together a little in finding the tunnels. Tyler yells "T-Tow!" again. And then, they're both boating. She compares it to Pirates of the Caribbean. Heh. Fran goes down into the tunnels at last also. Tyler is the first of the boaters to find the clue, and he emerges and meets up with BJ, who says "T-Tow." Now, it's just Barry and Yolanda waiting. And there's Yolanda, finding her clue and shouting, "I'm a bad-ass bitch!" Heh. Fran ultimately gets hers, too, but Ray and Yolanda grab a taxi and leave ahead of Fran and Barry. Fran is not quite enough of a bad-ass bitch, it seems. "We're last," Fran complains as they leave. I have this weird sense of déjà vu, like I've heard that before.
BJ and Tyler run to the mat. Welcome, you are team number three, and you have survived your mugging, as everyone always does. Most pointless twist ever.
Ray and Yolanda fear that their driver doesn't know where he's going. I have the same fear. This just seems like one of those situations where Ray and Yolanda always manage to bleed a crucial ten minutes out of nowhere and wind up by the side of the road doing something really dopey like asking a statue for directions. Fran and Barry hit a red light, and seem to blame their driver. Ray and Yolanda wind up at the wrong part of the sailing club. Ack! Ask the statue! Ask the statue! Fran and Barry get out and run. Ray and Yolanda run. Mat! Phil! Aaaand...Ray and Yolanda! Whew. Welcome, you are team number four. "Nothing wrong with that!" Yolanda says happily. Phil asks them if they love each other again, and...well, at least she says yes. He looks a little bit like he needs to think about the love, but will probably come around.
And here come Fran and Barry. She insists she's not going to cry, but she does anyway, which I don't blame her for. Phil tells them they're last, and they're eliminated. They smooch and hug. Phil talks about how proud Barry must be of Fran, and Barry chokes up talking about how proud of her he is. As Miss Alli's Mom pointed out at this juncture, it's kind of irritating how they're always asking men whether they're proud of their wives, like they've adopted their wives in some kind of adventure mentoring program. Barry tells us in an interview that Fran still doesn't know how special and awesome she is. You know what she does know? That they're last, and they'll probably be eliminated. …No, no. They're really quite appealing in this sequence, but I'm happy they're done, because they just were too tense, and there are only so many lamentations of certain doom that I can listen to, and by "so many," I mean, "like, one."
Executive Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer.
week: More MoJo/Hippie tension. What fun.