Previously on Dolomite-y Mighty Bossy-tones: Twenty-four people hauled ass out of Dodger Stadium like their hair was on fire. The Acquisition of Enemies stopwatch clocked Josh and Steve at 0.0002 seconds after they advanced future arthroscopic surgery spokesmodels Steve and Dave at the expense of Monica and Sheree (who were legitimately screwed out of a good flight) and Chip and Reichen (who fumed prettily, despite being in fact completely unaffected). The snowy mountains of Italy made obscene gestures in the direction of Dave's knee, Jaree's lungs, and almost all of Debra and Steve. Amanda would like to know what the fuck your problem is. A thoroughly weenie tie ("like kissing your sister," as they say in sports) between Millie and Chuck, Steve and Josh, and Amanda and Chris undoubtedly resulted in a lot of unhappy guys in suits somewhere who had to give out three first-place vacation prizes. Power to the people! In the end, Debra and Steve faced Philimination, and we could only hope that, this time, "hitting the road" would remain a figurative concept. Now Phil can only wonder, "Who will be eliminated..." During this lengthy and suspenseful pause, Blair Hornstine continues work on her valedictory speech, which contains portions of the Gettysburg Address, the Magna Carta, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, and the instructions from a 1986 Sunbeam toaster. "...tonight?"
Credits. This week's Fun Fact You Can Learn From Zaprudering The Credits With The Assistance Of TiVo: It appears that Jaree may very well bonk herself in the forehead with a bullet casing.
Commercials. The fact that Hugh Jackman is both Broadway Guy and Wolverine is, I think, proof positive that we are meant to live out a long and happy life together. He sings show tunes and he is emotionally unavailable and misunderstood? Where has he been all my life?
Drunken helicopter pilots escort the cameramen on a stomach-churning speed tour of the Dolomites, which Phil explains are located in northern Italy, right up at the part of the boot that never fits unless you have calves like Ashley Judd. At the bottom of the mountain, we pull up to the Hotel Lajadira, which served as our first pit stop and looks like it might well be made of gingerbread. Phil has hung on to the brown suede jacket from the last episode, and I have to say I hope we're in for a long stretch of cold climates, because that jacket is the big yum. Makes a girl think about naughty behavior and roasted marshmallows. ["It was a little too McCloud for me, but to each her own." -- Wing Chun] As Phil explains, teams had the opportunity at the pit stop to -- you guessed it -- Eat, Sleep, and Mingle with the other teams. We see Josh reading, which I find sort of surprising unless it's a comic book or something else with a lot of big print and pictures. Phil wonders whether the Sister-Kissing Alliance will continue, and whether Tian and Jaree can stop bickering long enough to get out of last place.
11:52 PM. The Sister-Kissing Alliance prepares to leave. They wait on the mat in the darkness, and then they all rip their clues open at the same time. Rrrrrip! We hurtle through the streets of Cortina with little regard for our own safety as Phil explains that this task involves a one and one-half mile trip through Cortina to the bottom of Trampolino Olimpico, an Olympic ski jump. There, they'll catch a van that will take them to the top of the hill, where they'll hop in an inflatable raft and sled down to the bottom. Cortina d'Ampezzo was, in case you aren't aware, the site of the 1956 Winter Olympics, so when they say "Olympic," it's not like when the YMCA tells you they have an Olympic pool.
The Sister-Kissers stroll away from the mat as Josh voices over that he and his dad used to have "a terrible relationship" and didn't like each other. Hard. To. Believe. He says that now, though, they'll work together for the good of the team. I really hope he's not entirely ruling out a Great Santini-style fistfight with crying, because I would really enjoy that. Inside the hotel, Millie asks where the Trampolino Olimpico is, exactly. The guy tells her that it's about a mile thataway. The Sister-Kissers obligingly run thataway, with someone complaining that the other teams will be right on their tails. During the running, Chuck and Millie explain how their twelve-year relationship and continued virginity proves how determined they are and how much will power they have. See, that is where they're going to start annoying me. As with most choices that people make, it's not the choice that bugs, it's your attitude about it. Furthermore, you'd better believe that the people who originally wrote the "no sex before marriage" rule didn't put it in their computer model that you would date for twelve years. I don't think it was intended to be the celibacy equivalent of a dance marathon. Life was short back then; all you had to do was wait long enough to unmake the bed and get out of your seventeen layers of underwear, and you'd probably be married already.
Chris, meanwhile, voices over that his "aggressive, competitive nature" might be upsetting to Amanda, since he can basically be a raging jerk sometimes. (I am paraphrasing.) I'm sure, by the way, that Chris and Amanda and other single racers really appreciate watching the show with their grandparents and having to stare at the conspicuous empty space under their names after "DATING" where the word "VIRGINS" would otherwise appear. For some reason, we see Millie and Chuck tell us again that the three teams that stepped on the mat together in first place yesterday formed an alliance. Yeah, we know. We got that part from the tie, the "wooo!," the high-fives, the fact that you're all traveling in a pack, and several other subtle clues.
At the ski hill, an unidentified voice observes that "that thing is fuckin' steep, y'all," which is pretty much precisely what I would say. Hey, maybe that was me! Nah, I'd probably remember a trip to Italy. The raft van can only take two teams at a time, so Millie and Chuck and Chris and Amanda go up first, agreeing to wait for Josh and DadSteve after they're done. ["Kind, but dumb." -- Wing Chun] At the top of the hill, Millie and Chuck strap on their yellow helmets and prepare for the trip down. They clamber into the inflatable raft. AAAAAAAAAH! (That was my impression of Chuck and Millie going down the hill. I don't normally do impressions, so I hope you enjoyed it.) Incidentally, although I wouldn't swear to it under oath, Chuck appears to yell "Oh my God!" all the way down the hill, and I would point out that if you're going to stick to the virginity thing, you might take note that you're not really supposed to do that either. But anyway. At the bottom of the hill, Millie offers up a "That was awesome! YEAAAH!" that reminds me, as so many things do, of the Get Him A Body Bag, YEAH! Guy in The Karate Kid. At the bottom, they jump out of the raft and run to the route marker, where Chuck begins his painful misadventures involving Italian. The clue tells them to make their way to the Ponte Della Guglia Bridge in Venice, which Chuck drawls as, "Pawnta-della...googly...[shrug]...in Venice." As the cameramen race along what I can only assume are narrow Venetian streets, Phil explains that in order to get to Venice, the teams must depart from one of two train stations: Calalzo (which is closer but has a later train), or Alpi (which is farther away but has a train that leaves sooner). Once they get to Venice, they'll go to the Googly Bridge for the clue.
Amanda and Chris are fuckin' getting in the fuckin' raft. Sorry, force of habit. They fly down the hill. AAAAAAAAH! They reach the bottom and tear open the clue. You can hear Amanda add that the clue also says, "You may not fly at any time," so apparently, it must be theoretically possible to get from Cortina to Venice by air. Interesting.
Back at the top of the hill, Josh is most unamusingly hamming it up with DadSteve about impending doom as they get ready to go. They go down the hill, both exhibiting what I guess is the de rigueur behavior during this task, which is holding your fist directly over your head and going, "Wooo!" It's sort of the double-axel of snow rafting, I guess -- nothing special, but if you don't do it, you just haven't completed the experience. Reach bottom, read clue.
The Sister-Kissers reunite and find a hotel where Josh asks, "What's the fastest way to Venice?" The hotel guy tells them that the fastest way would be from Calalzo (which is generally true, but not true right now). The alliance hops into taxis and goes to the train station at Calalzo, where they finally look at a schedule and discover that there are no trains for quite a while. Millie opines that the other teams are going to catch up to them while they're waiting for a train. Well, yes, dear. Have you seen the show? ["No, she was too busy not having sex with her boyfriend of twelve years to watch the past three seasons." -- Wing Chun]
12:49 AM. Monica and Sheree open their clue. Monica explains in an interview that although she and Sheree have certain luxuries as a result of being married to professional athletes, they're on the race to prove that they're actually strong women who can take care of themselves. And, of course, they can commence proving it any time now. Unlike the Sister-Kissers, who walked from the mat to the bottom of the ski hill, by the way, Monica and Sheree choose to cab it. They also appear to be going with the full-on matching outfits, which just really is too much, especially since they have the same hair. It's like Guido, if Bill had been a blond. And they'd been married to NFL players. Actually, that would have been cool.
1:05 AM. Dave and AirSteve. Dave sounds like he says they have seven dollars for the leg, but I think it must be seventy, because AirSteve is counting the money, and he does seem to have twenties. Still, it's quite a drop from last week. They, too, call for a cab to the hill. AirSteve voices over that Dave's knee is hurting, and they both need to "get a little gas back in [their] tanks." Dude. It's the end of the first leg. I know it was physical, but...sheesh. I've seen twenty-seven-foot SUVs with side-mounted grenade launchers and indoor plumbing that didn't run out of gas that fast.
At the hill, Monica and Sheree are ready to go. AAAAAAAAAH! Their screams, like their clothes, are well-coordinated. They also execute the double-axel, only they do it holding hands to grab an added tenth of a point for the level of difficulty. They'll still probably have to share the medal with the Canadians.
As AirSteve and Dave approach the hill, they spot all the lights and stuff and Dave comments, "This is too cool." I appreciate the moxie, but still worry about the joints. If you're quiet, you can hear their bones creaking.
1:16 AM. Kelly and Jon share a little smooch on the mat, and then they open the clue. It sounds like he wants to walk to the hill, but she wants a cab. In an interview, she says that now that they're engaged, she wants to reassure him that their married life will be just as exciting as his "bachelorhood." She pronounces "bachelorhood" with exaggerated wacky hand gestures that make clear her precise feelings about the concept of worshiping "bachelorhood" as if it were distinguished primarily by great independence and excitement, rather than by the freedom to use the same towel for a year and a half. Jon, meanwhile, says that Kelly is "really blossoming" on the race, which is a perfectly lovely thing to say. Appropriate, too, provided that she's his twelve-year-old granddaughter.
AirSteve and Dave. At the top of the hill, they root for gravity to take over. No, they do. Like this: "Gravity! Gravity! Gravity!" Heh. You've got to go with your natural allies, after all. AAAAAAAAAH! They forego the double-axel, and then at the bottom of the hill, they plan to wait for the team to show up and snag that team's cab to the train station. Risky, because if there's one thing that several seasons of reality shows will teach you, it's that you should never bet against how stupid other people can be.
Speaking of which, here come Jon and Kelly, hopping out of their cab. "Where's the top of the hill at?" Kelly asks, drawing a cringe from her seventh-grade English teacher. When their taxi is gone, Jon realizes that they've been dropped off at the top of the hill rather than the bottom, meaning that they're out of position to grab the raft van, which the clue told them they had to do. Stuck at the top of the hill rather than the bottom, Jon and Kelly consider their options. The twangy guitar music barely skitters through the narrow no-man's-land between copyrights controlled by Gary Glitter on one side and Booker T. and the MGs on the other. Jon sees only one thing they can do, so he -- still wearing his pack -- backs up a few feet, gets a running start, and heads down the hill on his ass. Just like the sledding, except that there's no sled.
Three things. First of all, that hill is icy, and Jon's lucky he didn't break his damn neck. Second of all, if there's one thing I've learned since I moved to the frozen tundra, it's that places where people do activities like this are groomed like neurotic French poodles to get them to work exactly right, and Jon could easily have punched it into a malformed Sno-Cone by pounding down that hill with his feet splayed out all over the place leaving grooves and tracks and holes everywhere. Having said that, third of all? Pretty cool. It displays a fairly fearless mindset that may serve Jon well. AirSteve and Dave are watching with interest from afar as Jon's body hurtles down the slope, muttering that they hope this "idiot" doesn't hurt himself too badly. As if he can hear them, Jon actually hops to his feet without even coming to a full stop at the bottom and jogs away from the hill, so eager is he to demonstrate that he is uninjured. At the top, Kelly is very tentative about the whole thing, but eventually gets herself sliding, and she makes it down as well, with Jon sort of looking like he intends to catch her at the bottom. "I want to see who these two idiots are," Dave says, and then he realizes that it's Kelly and Jon. AirSteve and Dave mutter about how stupid the kids are, but having watched it, it doesn't look like it turned out that badly for Jon and Kelly. I mean, you can gripe about it all you want, but it comes out sounding jealous.
1:22 AM. Jon and Al. They ask a hotel guy about getting a taxi. Jon, of course, can't just thank the guy, but has to make it into a whole thank-you routine, with which the hotel guy looks indulgent but thoroughly bored. We then have to see them leaning against a wall, yawning and doing Tired Clowns. And when I say "tired"? TIRED. In a voice-over, they call themselves "morale makers," and remind us yet again that they are clowns. In case. Anyone. Forgot. By the way, whoever stuck the deedle-deedle-deedle circus music in the background can just cut it out right now. Like I'm not annoyed enough already.
Kelly and Jon make their second trip down the hill, and this time they bring the sled. AAAAAAAAAAH! At the bottom, they snag a cab driver, and ask him, "Can you take us to the bus station?" Or, as Kelly says, "the boose station." Why would a guy who knows "can you take us to the" and "station" not know "bus" unless you pronounce it like a Bronson Pinchot character? As they put their bags in the cab, she allows as how her butt is indeed a little sore, and adds that she and Jon decided that because they had spent a lot of money already, they'd take a bus to the Calalzo train station instead of a taxi.
1:44 AM. Russell and Cindy. As they leave the mat, she yammers some more about how she's "very attracted" to this controlling, ungrateful jerk -- not that she has the presence of mind to use those words -- and how he's "smart" and "intelligent" and she has "very strong feelings" for him. Russell, meanwhile, says that he's not fooling around with Cindy during the race, because -- as he puts it -- "I wasn't traveling 40,000 miles for sex." That's right, he wasn't. He was, instead, traveling 40,000 miles to beat Wil's record for zero-to-mean-bastard by directing his vitriol at a reasonably nice but evidently clueless woman rather than at a manipulative chick who gives just as good as she gets. You've got to have a goal.
Jon and Kelly get out of their cab at the Cortina bus station, and Jon also seems to admit to a little butt pain as he clambers out. He's lucky he didn't leave 62% of his body snagged on various jags of ice on the hill, so I'm thinking he should be grateful that this is as far as it went. Inside, Kelly and Jon figure out how to get the bus to the train station.
Back at the hotel, Russell and Cindy are trying to figure out where to go. They've apparently decided to try to walk to the hill, but they seem lost.
Clowns. Hill. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.
Monica and Sheree arrive by taxi at the Calalzo train station, where they run smack into the Sister-Kissers. Sheree warns everyone that if there gets to be a big bunch, "some people are going to get really aggressive, so beware."
2:29 AM. Chip and Reichen tear open their clue. As they grab a cab to the hill, Reichen interviews that they originally intended to "run an honorable race." However, after the Line-Butting Incident at LAX, they decided that if other people wouldn't stand in line nicely and politely, well, Reichen and Chip just wouldn't stand in line nicely and politely either. Okay, first of all, the thing at the airport didn't affect the Chipsters, because they wouldn't have gotten a ticket anyway, so I don't see why they're all pinchy about it. Second of all, I fault the show, not Josh and DadSteve, for the line-butting. (I fault Josh for his bratty attitude, but that's a separate issue.) So this whole thing is crap, even apart from the stupidity of the whole "run an honorable race" thing. To me, "run an honorable race" means only a few things. First, don't cheat: don't do things you know are against the rules that you think won't be discovered or can't be pragmatically enforced. Second, don't be a gratuitous asshole: this is the prohibition against hurling insults like a second-grader, ostracizing people at pit stops, or being abusive to your partner. Third, accept defeat gracefully: don't blame the cameraman, don't blame other teams, and don't blame your cab driver. Finally, eyes on your own paper: in other words, racing certainly involves going for the advantage, but finding new ways to sabotage other people instead of running your own race isn't exactly an accomplishment you'll be proud of later. That's all there really is to "running an honorable race." Trying to weasel your way to the front of a line, refusing to offer assistance to other distressed racers, offering them misleading information, forming alliances, taking opportunities where you find them...these things are not dishonorable. When they're done by a team you hate, it's natural to find them distasteful, but they're not ethical lapses, and if I never hear this whole The Morality Of The Race muckety-muck again, I will be very relieved.
Aaaanyway, the Chipsters arrive at the hill in their taxi, with Chip offering the driver what appears to be the least welcome hug since Chris showed some love to that poor greeter in Africa. The driver is all, "Whatever, pretty boy."
Russell and Cindy are hiking all over the place for some reason, having apparently gone the completely wrong way out of the hotel. Not great navigators, these two. He announces that he's "making an executive decision" about where they're going. Well, you're doing great so far, Lee Iacocca, so keep it up.
Chipsters. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.
Back at the Calalzo train station, Dave and AirSteve drag themselves out of their cab, with "Dueling Banjos" playing on their ACLs. The Sister-Kissers and Monica and Sheree are already waiting.
3:08 AM. David and Jeff. Who? ["Exactly." -- Wing Chun] I said, David and Jeff. David interviews that they're near the back of the pack, so they're trying to do the best they can to avoid being last. They really do need to lash him to something and attach some electrodes, because that amount of brain power could solve the energy spikes caused by increased use of air conditioning.
Russell and Cindy have managed to wander all the way back to the hotel, so they're starting over to head for the hill. As they approach the hotel, Cindy takes a wrong turn up onto a curb, and Russell mutters -- you guessed it -- "Dumb-ass." "Wrong way," Cindy says, trying to sound chipper. "Not my night." I cannot tell you how much these people give me the creeps. The way he snaps at her, the way she tries to act like it doesn't bother her...bleh. I mean, we've all been down the road of singing to ourselves about "why he treats you like he do when he's such a good man" and all that, but I would remind Cindy that the man in that case? Was Ike Turner. And that's about as well as this sort of thing can be expected to turn out. They grab a cab, complaining to the driver about how late they are.
Jon and Al arrive at the Calalzo station, paying the cabbie as they go. They see the other teams, and there is hugging. Well, who doesn't love a clown, after all? I mean, except for me.
David and Jeff. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAAAH! Clue. You can see, incidentally, that David has the famous green folder when they're opening the clue, so they apparently gave out the Fast Forward here.
At Calalzo, there is much discussion of the enormous bunching that is going on as the Chipsters arrive. Josh -- bringing back unpleasant Twin Hunt memories -- voices over that the other teams want to get rid of the "two tall pretty-boys." Somewhere, Aaron and Arianne are all, "Word -- and he's 'alternative' too, just like us!" In the Chipster cab, Reichen discusses how they know perfectly well that "Weezer and Geezer" want to get rid of them, and have since LAX and the Line-Butting Incident. Hee, "Weezer and Geezer." The thing that's dumb about it substantively is that giving the tickets to Steve and Dave wasn't aimed at Chip and Reichen -- Josh genuinely thought that air traffic controllers would make great alliance partners. Not particularly good thinking on his part, but not malicious. "They made enemies way too soon," Reichen says in a way he wants to be menacing, but that comes off like a Coppertone slogan. Reichen asks the gathered folks near the door whether there's a line, and he's told that there is. Nevertheless, he and Chip consult their clue and discuss the fact that "it doesn't say anything about first come, first served." And then whichever one of them wants to get poked in the eye says, "And we're bigger." Remember the "gratuitous asshole" rule? Careful, fellas.
Finally, at 3:43 AM, Tian and Jaree make the last exit from the pit stop. As they run through the streets with their no-hands headlamp, Tian voices over that she's going to have to push Jaree, because Jaree doesn't naturally run very fast. Boy, she picked a partner who doesn't run very fast? Wow, it's a good thing it's not a race.
Russell and Cindy. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.
Back at the train station, the intrigue builds as Monica and Sheree pass the info to the Pectoral College (consisting of the Chipsters and the newly-arrived David and Jeff) that some of the other teams have it in for all four of them. Chip explains this in a quick interview, and says that he's not too pleased to find himself on a hit list. He also refers to Monica and Sheree as "moles." Heh. ["Sure, moles. Or annoying suck-ups. Your call." -- Wing Chun] Reichen, meanwhile, decides that he is nobody's fool, and that he's going to defy the line. Defy it, I say! He has decided the line is "just a big mental game," which is rather hilarious, since waiting in line by a door would be probably the most dippy mental game anyone ever came up with, aside from what he's about to do. Reichen walks right up to the door of the locked train station and puts his hands on the doors to claim the first place in line, apparently convinced that...I don't know, they're all going to leave on separate trains that have room for one team each, maybe? It's a moron move, in that it has virtually no chance of helping him, and it squanders whatever advantage of pettiness he might have been able to wring from Josh's past misdeeds. In other words, if anyone was ever going to feel sorry for Reichen before, they're certainly not going to now.
Fortunately for the Chipsters, DadSteve decides that he will try to look even goofier than Reichen and Chip do by trying to rely on the fact that his backpack is leaning against the door and claiming that he has firstsies, or whatever. Reichen winds up getting into an argument about this with AirDave, who points out that "somebody had position" but passive-aggressively insists that he won't argue if the Chipsters want pole position. Reichen retorts that he and AirSteve weren't too concerned about who "had position" at LAX. Seriously, Reichen is being a total prick, but AirDave? AirDave has no case, and should shut up, as should DadSteve. I mean, there's a version of waiting-in-line ethics in which the backpack would count for something, but surely in any such system, the actual bodies that were in line at LAX would count for more. It's like they're all angling for who can most quickly kick out from underneath them every leg they have ever had to stand on. "Don't stand there and lecture me about his backpack and a spot in line, give me a break," Reichen spits, in a manner so snotty that he pushes me back over to being on AirDave's side. Then in an interview, Reichen acknowledges that holding onto the door was "really childish" (yes), but fails to acknowledge that it was also really boneheaded, considering that it was obvious that it wasn't going to matter. A bit later, actually as Reichen clings to the door handles, DadSteve tells him that he doesn't really need to literally hang on to the door like that. "I'm gonna," Reichen retorts. I have to say, I haven't seen a fight this cerebrally advanced since the storied battle of My Cat Versus His Shadow: This Time, I'm Gonna Catch It, For Real.
Speaking of people who should shut up, here come Russell and Cindy. "Hola, everyone," Russell says. For some reason, when I already don't like you, there's nothing like a chipper, friendly greeting to make me want to punch you in the face.
Tian and Jaree. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue. "That was so much fun," Jaree says with mild amusement as they open it.
Back at Calalzo, a bus pulls in, and Italian-speaking Al goes over to talk to the driver. He asks whether the bus goes to Venice, and the driver apparently explains to him that while it doesn't go to Venice, it does go to Alpi, which has an earlier train to Venice than Calalzo does. Al -- because he's nicer than he is crafty -- comes over and tells all the other teams that they only have three minutes to haul ass to the bus. Chip rounds up Reichen, who apparently gives up his death grip on the door handles, and all the teams currently waiting at Calalzo scamper onto the Alpi bus. So much for that little dust-up, and I certainly hope everyone feels silly.
Jaree stops for breath on what appears to be a walk from the ski hill to the Cortina bus station, where they intend to catch the bus to Calalzo, just as Kelly and Jon planned to do.
On the bus, Russell is comparing notes with Reichen and either Monica or Sheree (hard to tell from the back, given the matching outfits) about where in Venice they're headed. Cindy explains in an interview that she wasn't crazy about the way Russell tended to discuss strategy with other teams without ever even talking to her at all. She has not yet figured out that not only does he not have her filed under "G" for "Girlfriend," he has her filed under "L" for "Luggage."
At the Alpi train station, the Alpi teams get on the train to Venice. Josh notes that they're still "missing two teams," in that "Kelly and Jon and the blondes" aren't around. At 5:40 AM, the train leaves.
At the Cortina bus station, Tian and Jaree are just arriving. When they get there, they see only Kelly and Jon, who exchange a bit of a "bleh, models" look upon seeing the girls. Tian works the counter, but Jaree seems to have a map and some notes already. "Let me show you," she says, proudly unfolding her stuff. "Back off. When I want to find out information, let me," Tian scolds. Wow, that sucked. Jaree walks off, obedient but pissed. You know, when your partner is struggling a little bit, as Jaree has been, it's a good idea not to blow her off when she's pitching in. Just saying.
Back to the Calalzo train station, where Tian and Jaree and Jon and Kelly are surprised to arrive and find no other teams. "Where the hell is everybody?" Kelly wonders. Cut to the Alpi train, carrying all the other teams. Even though it's not a pit stop, the teams appear to be Mingling. Phil does not, however, materialize and impose penalties. As the train from Calalzo takes off, both Jaree and Kelly puzzle over where the other teams could be.
Commercials. Hey, if there's anybody I trust to screen dates for me, it's Simon Cowell. "That was horrible. That was the wuuhhhst pick-up line I've ever heard," he would say.
The Amazing World Map shows two very cramped little Amazing Yellow Lines inching from Calalzo and Alpi to Venice. This is all the action that the AYLs are getting in this leg, too -- they're going to get all shirty before long, like those "gifted" kids whose parents swear that the reason they spit in other people's food is that they're "not challenged." Chip explains that since nine teams are on the Alpi train and only two aren't, it's not so much that anyone has a lead as that a couple of people are screwed.
On the Calalzo train, Tian and Jaree finally find out from a helpful guy on the train that there was an earlier train to Venice, and that's where the rest of the teams have to be. She proceeds to give Jaree the opposite of a pep talk. She's fondling the Fast Forward, so I think that's what she's proposing. "We can't catch up to them," she diagnoses. "We don't know that," Jaree counters. "We do know that," Tian comes back. Kelly and Jon are reviewing their options as well, because Kelly thinks they need a plan. Other than Tian's plan, which is apparently the Give Up Immediately plan.
On the Alpi train, Cindy is undertaking the obviously futile task of trying to talk to Russell about her feelings. "It's not to your advantage," she explains, "for me not to know even what your plans are." He eyes her with open and unmistakable contempt. "You're being ultra-controlling here, and you're not informing me," Cindy continues. Russell smirks. Cindy tries to lighten the conversation by pointing out that she is capable of contributing. "It's amazing I even got through the world without you," she says, and chuckles. "It is, actually," he says coldly. It's incredibly uncomfortable but oddly fascinating, watching her labor to shift the power dynamic between them: she's trying to make it into a moment where they'll both laugh, and he'll be a little sheepish and a little sorry, and she'll get her feet under her. And that's just not going to happen, because it could not be more obvious that Russell has no respect for Cindy whatsoever. Having failed in her effort to make them allies, Cindy predictably shifts gears and tries to get some traction by being angry. "You haven't seen me get mean," she says. "I wasn't planning on it, but if you talk down to me one more time...." He continues to look indifferent. Boy, that was just upsetting. It's not that he doesn't like her That Way -- he doesn't like her any way. Bleh.
At the Venice station, at 8:18 AM, the Alpi train pulls in and everybody jumps off. They head for the Googly Bridge and pull the clue, and it's a Detour. The best thing about a Detour, of course? The Exposition Hands. Ah, how I've missed you. And, of course, Phil, who appears, strolling alongside a canal in the Big Yum Jacket to explain the two tasks, as well as the pros and cons of each. The choices in this Detour are Waterway and Pathway. In Waterway, you climb in a gondola and direct the gondolier, using only a map, to a little plaza. You are not allowed, in this option, to ask anyone -- including the gondolier -- for directions. In Pathway, you travel to the plaza on foot, but you're allowed to ask for directions. In a lot of ways, Pathway is the superior option, but it's hard to pass up an opportunity to see Venice in a gondola. This is really a third type of Detour to go alongside Reckless/Chicken and Tortoise/Hare -- it's sort of Salad/Dessert. Walking is a Salad; a gondola is Dessert. In theory, you always try to choose whatever you can finish first, but if it's hard to tell which is faster, it's hard not to pick the one that's cooler. Bike/Punt in Cambridge was like this, too.
Like fourth-graders everywhere, the teams have a hard time saying no to Dessert, and most of them immediately go for the gondolas. Millie and Chuck are at the back of the pack at the boats, and they get nervous about the number of teams that are now in boats ahead of them. Looking at a map, they decide that they can hoof it to the plaza, and they take off. For the gondola teams, navigating follows, except for Monica and Sheree, who simply tell their gondolier to follow everybody else. Unsurprisingly, Josh declares that he knows exactly how to get there. For he is Guy Who Understands The Race!
Dave and AirSteve find themselves floating along beside Josh and DadSteve, just behind Amanda and Chris. Josh and DadSteve have a wiry, thin gondolier, whereas Dave and AirSteve have a giant, appliance-like gondolier. "You went for the skinny guy," AirDave calls over to Josh. "We got Rudy; he's built like a semi." Hee. Rudy and the Thin Man proceed to engage in a little bit of a gondola-off, or so it appears, and Chris admiringly hollers back that Rudy is doing a good job handling Dave and AirSteve and their "two heavy asses." "Get close enough, Rudy, we'll kick his ass," AirSteve says. "Oh my God," Josh laments as Rudy commences ass-kicking, "that guy's passing us with Steve and Dave in his thing."
Amanda gets into the spirit of things by turning around to the gondolier and saying something so novel that I'm sure he only hears it forty or fifty times a day: "Do you sing?" He hesitates. And then he lays it on her: "O sole mio..." Amanda laughs, because even she knows that she has forced this guy into the ultimate Cheeseball Tourist Moment of all time. Poor guy. Still kinda funny, though, and there's probably some kind of prize at the Gondoliers' Club at the end of the month if you're subjected to the largest number of idiot tourists asking you to sing, so it's not all bad for him.
Millie and Chuck are on the run. She has stopped to ask for directions from someone who unfortunately doesn't know any more than she does. Venice has to be so infested with tourists that I think I'd probably run into one of the shops and ask someone who was working, because otherwise, the odds seem substantial that the person you ask will be from, say, Ohio. Chuck and Millie find a different guy to ask, and while he seems a little sketchy, he does give them something of a lead.
Chris, in his gondola, takes the map from Amanda, telling her she "sucks at this" navigation stuff. She's smiling and unperturbed, though, and notes how "cool" the trip through Venice is. "It's not cool if we come in last," he notes. He voices over that if he has to "be mean" about something, he'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to Zach -- if he can walk away with a million bucks and not be mean to Flo, you can shut up forever about the argument that you have to smack your partner around when she doesn't measure up to your expectations. Amanda maintains that being near the back doesn't bother her; she's still happy they took the gondola and got to see Venice this way. "I realize you want to win, but this is really beautiful," Amanda says.
Chuck and Millie have stopped at what looks to be a tomato stand, and they're trying to get the guy there to accept money to walk them to the plaza. He points out that he's working, so he can't leave. Yeah, you can't really just walk up and abduct people, you know. The race is important, but residents of Venice must have their tomatoes.
In the lead gondola are David and Jeff (who?). Just behind them are Russell and Cindy, and then the Chipsters, followed by Monica and Sheree and Chris and Amanda. Everybody follows David and Jeff as they make a turn down a very narrow canal. I have to agree with the Eagle-Eyed Forum Poster who suggested that it looks like they've digitally covered up a camera guy in the front of Chris and Amanda's boat with a blob of blue blanket or something. Having said that, I'm now sure it's probably not true.
"Anyone speak English?" Millie is now hollering as she runs through the streets of Venice. I love it when people do that, because I know that if I were there and saw people doing that, I doubt I would admit to being an English speaker. Somehow, the sight of someone running around like a crazy person frantically looking for something to grab onto doesn't really make me feel all participatory.
David and Jeff (who?) are telling their gondolier that, at the end of the canal they're in, he's going to have to take a hard right. You don't have to be an advanced geometry student to realize pretty quickly that these long boats -- not being hinged in the middle -- are not going to be making any hard rights down these teeny little canals, but this doesn't seem to occur to the teams yet. Sure enough, when they try to make the turn, it's not possible to maneuver the boat that way. So, of course, the single-file line of boats has to turn back, which means that those in the back are now in the front and vice versa. Ah, reversals of fortune. Suddenly, Chris and Amanda have the lead.
At last, Millie and Chuck locate a friendly woman who's willing to walk them to where they need to go. "Thank you," Millie calls as the busy-looking woman briskly delivers them to the clue box and disappears. Chuck pulls the clue, which causes him further Italian-speaking agony. This time, they need to get to the Palazzo da Mosto, or as Chuck calls it, the "pa-lah-za del mah-sto." He tries so hard, seriously. Phil explains that they need to get over to the route marker, where they will attend "a party" that starts at 5:00 PM.
Dave and AirSteve are navigating in their gondola, and seem to have taken a different route than did the folks who were just turned back at the skinny turn. They do have a problem with a powerboat that's occupying the space where they need to go. Amanda and Chris, meanwhile, find their way to the flag first. They hop out of their gondola and run for the clue. to the clue appear to be Jon and Al, coming out of nowhere and into third place. Josh and DadSteve follow, and then Monica and Sheree, Chip and Reichen, Cindy and the Raging Asshole, and David and Jeff (who?). And finally, here come Dave and AirSteve.
Hey, remember Tian and Jaree and Jon and Kelly? They're still on the train from Calalzo. Tian and Jaree are still bickering, and Tian seems to still be pushing for the Fast Forward by pointing out that Kelly and Jon will beat them if it comes down to a foot race. "You can't keep up," Tian snaps at Jaree. Nice. In an interview, Jaree says, "I feel like she's definitely judging me, but not for any other reason than to make herself look good." Good point. The tirade of Tian continues, and Jaree finally says, "Don't try to demean me, okay?" Jon and Kelly listen with amusement to the argument going on behind them. Kelly silently points backwards over her shoulder. "They're fighting," she stage-whispers. ["That would be exactly what I would do in Kelly's position. Hee." -- Wing Chun] Tian goes on explaining why she and Jaree can't compete with the rest of the teams, and I just don't get what the point of that is. Why would you bring someone on a race like this if you were just going to preach her incompetence to her the entire time?
At 9:30 AM, a little more than an hour after the teams on the Alpi train arrived in Venice, the Calalzo teams do the same. Everyone to the Googly Bridge! Quickly, Tian and Jaree get themselves onto a gondola, while Kelly and Jon opt for the running. A fair amount of wandering ensues, particularly for Kelly and Jon, who appear at times to be trapped in that part of This Is Spinal Tap where they can't find the stage. ("Rock and roll!") Jon has a compass, but seems reluctant to consult it. It's decorative, I guess. ["Plus everyone thinks they can read a compass, but in fact, they can't." -- Wing Chun]
On their gondola, Tian and Jaree discuss beautiful Venice. "I hope we get to see it," Tian says. "Well, we're seein' it now," Jaree drawls. "I always thought it would be in the arms of my lover," Tian says dryly, throwing an arm around her partner, "but you'll do." "See, you're only nice to me when we're doin' good," Jaree says warily. Tian and Jaree make it to the clue box.
Kelly and Jon, on the other hand, continue to wander aimlessly. She finally smacks him on the arm. "Talk to me. Which direction are we going?" He looks at the compass. "Right now, we're going..." He stares at the compass, and then in unison, they say -- him plainly, her pointedly -- "West." "Exactly my point," she says carefully. "It's east." I like her.
Commercials. This vacuum cleaner comes with a free kangaroo! Or something.
Back in Venice, Jon and Kelly are still arguing over the navigation issues. "At least work with me," she says, becoming increasingly animated and waving her arms, "instead of just saying, 'Ah got it! Ah got it! Bada bing, bada boom!' Because you don't got it." Hee hee. Finally, they seem to pull it together, and when they do find the clue box, Kelly's ready with plenty of praise. "Nice, babe, nice," she says as they run to the box.
At the Palazzo da Mosto, the first clump of teams is arriving. They all look at the sign that lists the hours of operation starting at 5:00 PM. Despite taking different Detour options, Millie and Chuck and Chris and Amanda have found each other again, and are still looking for the Palazzo. Tian and Jaree actually seem to arrive at the Palazzo ahead of these guys, as do Kelly and Jon. Kelly is none too happy that "the blondes" found the Palazzo before she did. Are any of these people ever going to notice that Jaree isn't blonde? I mean, blonde is still a descriptive term, right? It hasn't become a religion since I last checked, or a state of mind? Jaree is not blonde. Jaree has brown hair. Whatever. Finally, Millie and Chuck and Chris and Amanda get to the flag. Everybody is all bunched up now.
Elsewhere, accompanied by the Mellow Jazz Sax of Taking It Easy, AirSteve and Dave are meandering around Venice. AirSteve explains that they're both suffering from bad knees and need a rest. "We can't keep up with these young studs," he chuckles. "We're looking for the Fast Forward now." Phil explains the concept of the Fast Forward and the Zenlike study of "when it's most advantageous to go for it." He then informs us that, in this Fast Forward, the teams have to find a traveling pack of street performers and participate with them in a traditional Commedia dell'Arte performance. While the skit is going on, someone will eventually give them the Fast Forward. ["I feel that teams should have been warned that their participation in this Fast Forward would be the gayest thing they would ever do in their lives -- yes, even you, Reichen and Chip." -- Wing Chun] Dave and AirSteve find the bridge and the troupe of players fairly quickly, and are immediately brought into a skit in which AirSteve is operated on and anesthetized via a mallet on the head. "The Miracle of Managed Care," I believe the skit is called. As Dave explains the plot (which is better constructed than many recent episodes of ER, I might add), the doctor starts pulling out AirSteve's intestines, and all his body parts start coming out with the intestines. "His heart was attached to it -- which, I was surprised, I didn't think he had one. His brain was attached to it -- had never been used." Yeah, it's a little bit Catskills, but what are you gonna do? At the very end of AirSteve's prop intestines, the Fast Forward appears. Everyone bows, and Steve and Dave read the clue directing them to the pit stop, which is on a flagged boat docked at the edge of a lagoon in Venice.
Back at the Palazzo da Mosto, an interesting thing has occurred. Because there was such a long period of time between their arrival at the Palazzo and the operating hours, many of the teams have wandered off to do some sightseeing, while others have camped out by the door, forming a line to enter. Chip and Reichen, in particular, are wedged up against the door, wrapped in their space blankets. Aw, they look just like a couple of little microwave burritos. Josh talks about how disappointed he was to return to the Palazzo and realize that other people were waiting in line. Why they didn't realize that this would happen, I'm not sure. Unlike a train station, it makes perfect sense at a regular route marker to nab yourself a place in line, because order of admittance may very well matter a great deal. Similarly, Al and ClownJon are off balancing things on their faces instead of waiting in line, so when they get back, they have to do Crying Clowns for us to show how sad they are to be near the back of the line. Honestly, it's enough to make me cry myself, between Crying Clowns and the face-balancing. ["I'm surprised they didn't go for the Fast Forward in this leg; all that annoying mugging would have been right up their annoying alley." -- Wing Chun]
AirSteve and Dave are finding their way to the pit stop boat, saying that they're hoping they'll get a "healthy head start" from the FF. It's a combination of good and bad FF use, because on one hand, an injury is a good reason to use it, but on the other hand, it doesn't look like they checked the operating hours first, and given the long rest period and megabunch, they could probably have conserved the FF for another use if they had. But at any rate, they arrive at the boat, where they are welcomed to Venice by a sort of strange-looking boy greeter who wears quite a bit of mauve clothing and a three-cornered hat, and thus looks a little like a female stripper might at the beginning of a complex routine where she plays a member of the Continental Congress. "Steve and Dave," says Phil, anxious to break the good news, "You're team number one!" I'm not sure what the joke was there -- we clearly missed something -- but Phil is having a lot of fun with these guys. They chuckle and do their trademark high-five low-five near-miss gesture, which on the one hand is kind of irritating, but on the other, isn't as bad as all that hand-slapping that Aaron and Arianne used to trot out, so it hardly seems worth complaining about.
At 5:00, the Palazzo finally opens, and the clue box is brought out to the teams. It's a Roadblock, which Phil explains is a task that only one team member can do. You have to pick who does it before you know exactly what it is, and once you decide who's going, you can't switch. In this task, the chosen person takes one of four photographs handed to him by the doorman. The photographs are of elaborate masks, and when you get inside the party with the photograph, there are all kinds of people milling around in all sorts of masks, and you have to find the person who is wearing the one shown in the picture you have. When you think you've found the right person, you hand him the picture. If you're right, he hands you the clue. If you're wrong, he just takes the picture from you and walks away. If that happens, you have to come back outside and get in back of the line to go in again, and because only four people can go into the party at a time, once you get kicked out, you may have to wait before you get another try. So you really don't want to guess wrong, is the point.
As Monica and Sheree discuss the fact that Monica is going to take the Roadblock, they specifically discuss the importance of not rushing, but of taking the time to make sure it's the right mask before handing over the picture. I don't want to give anything away, but like all theories, that one should be used in moderation. At any rate, first into the Roadblock is Russell (boooo!). He voices over that the people inside are dressed in "traditional Venetian garb." "Garb"? I'm sorry, what kind of a goober uses the word "garb" in the year 2003 with absolutely no sense of irony? "Darling, I'd like to take you to dinner -- now adorn yourself in your most festive garb, and we shall dine like kings!" Shut up, Russell.
Monica is in, and she's got a red-black-white mask that she's looking for. Chip follows, and then Josh, so that's the first group of four, and presumably, no one else can go in until one of them is done. Josh is looking for a red-black-gold mask, and he tells us that his first thought was, "Crap, I should have let my dad do this." Russell continues his hunt for the white and gold mask with a sort of peacock-like headdress sprouting out of it. The first to try a picture out is Josh, who hands the red-black-gold picture to a guy. It's not even really a very close match; the mask in his picture has black cheeks, and this guy has gold ones. The guy takes it, tucks it into his coat, and walks off. Ooooh, burn! Josh has to head back outside and get in line. He voices over that he didn't realize there would be some that were similar, and he says he was "livid" that he had to go to the end of the line and start over. Tough break, there, Josh. By the way, Grant Shaud called and he wants his shrunken head back.
The exit of Josh makes way for the entry of Jeff into the Roadblock party. Chip, meanwhile, is looking for a red and black mask with a big beak, and he thinks he's found it. He stops the person, studies the face, looks back and forth between the face and the picture, and finally hands the picture over. From inside the guy's coat comes the clue, and Chip is off. Outside, he grabs Reichen and they run for the pit stop, as the clue directs. Phil reminds us that the last team to check in at the pit stop will be eliminated. Chip and Reichen are told by a baseball-hatted local that if they run, they can get to the pit stop boat in ten or fifteen minutes.
Meanwhile, it's time for Tian to go inside the Roadblock. Inside, Russell has finally located his mark, and the mark hands over the clue when Russell hands over the picture. Tian finds the Beak Mask and she leaves, after nearly hyperventilating with excitement. Outside, Josh is depressed to see Russell and Tian leave, as this is beginning to interfere with his theory that he only screwed it up because it's so very, very hard. You can almost see him becoming more and more horrified at the list of people who did better at this task than he did, because it now includes a "pretty-boy" and one of the "blondes." Russell and Tian both bring their clues to their partners, and everybody takes off.
into the Roadblock is BuffJon, followed by Chris, who takes the Roadblock because Amanda "expressed concerns" about the "high-pressure situation," especially since they apparently were one of the teams who slacked off and didn't come back in time for a good place in line. Chris has been given the same headdress-sprouting mask that seemed to take Russell quite a while to track down, while Jon has been given what turns out to be the same red-white-black mask that Monica already has.
Jeff is inside, working with the same red-black-gold mask that screwed with Josh so much. He has better luck, though, because after a very comical round of standing in front of this poor lady and swaying back and forth like a crazed psycho who's measuring her to see if she would fit in the frame he has picked out, he hands it to her, and the clue appears. Outside, Sheree begins to worry about the fact that Monica remains inside. BuffJon, meanwhile, finds the red-black-white mask and receives his clue. Jeff and BuffJon go outside and grab their partners, and they're off.
into the Roadblock is Millie, who has a picture of the Beak Mask. She takes the rather assertive approach of walking up to anybody with a beak, grabbing said beak, and holding the person in place while she examines him. I'm pretty sure that waiting to be grabbed by contestants is pretty much the only thing on any of these people's agendas, so I don't so much think they mind the grabbing. ["I thought it was aggressive and rude; those are real people in there!" -- Wing Chun] Still, I don't recommend it at, for instance, the wedding you attend. If you were to walk up to the bride's mother, for instance, grab her nose, hold up your invitation to her face, and say, "Is this you?," she might not like it.
Chris offers the headdress-sprouting mask picture to a woman who blows him off and bolts. "Oh, you're kidding me," he says as spooky, spooky music warbles in the background. As Chris walks outside, he voices over that he rushed the decision to hand over the picture. Josh is comforted not to be the only person who flubbed it. "It's hard, isn't it, dude?" Josh says sympathetically and gratefully. Finally, Al enters the Roadblock. Al gets the red-black-white mask (the same one as Monica and BuffJon), and after him, there goes Josh, for his second attempt.
Kelly and BuffJon are running for the pit stop. She asks him to check the compass, but he assures her that he knows where they're going, and not to worry. Josh also seems to have the red-black-white mask, which I guess is the only one they're giving out now. Of the four people currently inside the Roadblock, three of them (Josh, Al, and Monica) are now looking for this same mask. Josh is first to find the guy, and when he does, he retrieves the clue successfully. He runs outside and grabs DadSteve, and they take off. Monica continues looking inside, as does Millie, who is still accosting anything with a beak.
The Chipsters run aboard the pit stop boat. Welcome, Chipsters, you are team number two. Elsewhere, Kelly and Jon are running. David and Jeff (who?) are running. Tian and Jaree are wandering, as are Russell and Cindy. Welcome, Kelly and BuffJon, you are team number three. They did good work on this leg, for the most part.
Inside the Roadblock, Chris continues to struggle, and he voices over that he felt tremendous pressure to hurry up. This time, he's got the Beak Mask, but he again manages to hand it to the wrong person. "I sucked at that Roadblock," he voices over. You said it, not me, bub.
Commercials. When your child wakes you up with a box of Cheerios, try not to yell at him. He means well.
Back at the Roadblock, Chris has the Beak Mask again, so he's going back for a second try.
Meanwhile, at the pit stop, Tian and Jaree make a nice comeback by landing in fourth place. They explain in an interview that it's a little like Jaree is in boot camp being disciplined by Tian. I suppose they didn't want to entirely abandon the demographic that was sucked in by the initial shots of the girls shooting guns.
Russell and Cindy -- he was first into the Roadblock, you'll recall -- are still wandering around trying to find the boat. While they meander, David and Jeff (who?) land as team number five.
Monica continues to struggle with the Roadblock. As does Millie. As does Chris. Al, on the other hand, finds red-black-white person at last and gets his clue. He and Jon take off.
At last, Millie hands the Beak Mask photo to an apparently likely candidate. Aaand...she gets the clue. They run for the pit stop, where Jon and Al are in the process of checking in with Phil in sixth place. This makes the clowns happy. Of course, so does a face full of something heavy, so it's no surprise, really.
Finally, Russell and Cindy land on the mat. Welcome, Captain Contempt and Dora Doormat, you are team number seven. They try to act happy, but they know they blew the end of the leg.
Roadblock. Suffering. Monica and Chris. "Okay, this sucks," she mutters. Chris says that he was preoccupied with where the other teams were, which I think tells much of the story of Chris and this Roadblock -- and actually, of this Roadblock in general. It wasn't a hard task, but it did require concentration.
Millie and Chuck land on the mat in eighth place. "The top priorities for the race," Chuck explains in an interview, "are number one, trust God; number two, don't be last; number three, hustle every second that we can to make a difference." There's something I think is oddly endearing about "number one, trust God; number two, don't be last." Hee. Booming Voice of God: "Right on."
More wandering at the Roadblock for Monica and Chris, and then Josh and DadSteve finally reach Phil and are checked in, in ninth place. They hug. DadSteve's Body Language: "Oh my God, get off me."
Monica finally screws up her courage and hands the picture to someone. Aaaand...clue. "Thank you," she says. She heads out. Inside, Chris finally locates the owner of the Beak Mask, and he's off as well. Both Monica and Sheree and Chris and Amanda run for the boat. "Dude, you don't know how fuckin' hard that was," Chris says. "It's okay, you did good," Amanda says as they run. "I didn't do good," he counters. Monica and Sheree ask for directions, but their first target is as lost as they are. Chris and Amanda consult a map. Monica and Sheree continue asking various people to point them in the right direction.
Someone's feet run up onto the pit stop boat. Someone is greeted by the greeter. "Monica and Sheree," Phil says, "You're team number ten." They are elated.
Aww. Here come Amanda and Chris. They land on the mat. "You'd better say somethin' good," Amanda says. Unfortunately, Phil cannot oblige, and they are Philiminated. Chris immediately leans over, puts an arm around Amanda, and kisses her on the side of the head. "We tried. It was really awesome," Amanda says in her perky, band-camp manner. They talk about how tired they are, and Chris says in an interview that it's going to take a while for it to sink in that they've already come and gone from the race. I bet that's true -- it's a lot of buildup to just race for a couple of days and then find yourself on vacation. Phil asks Amanda whether she's learned anything new about Chris. "He's still a little jerk," Amanda says with a grin, "but I love him, it's okay." Yeah, it's not nice to talk to each other that way, in a sense, but there were also some moments that suggested to me that they do okay for the most part. They're young; they may grow out of the bickering. They exchange a little smooch. I still think they're cute.
Executive Producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.
week: Millie has asthma. Uh oh. The preview implies that Chip tries to push her around, but it actually looks like he beats her to a clue that's hanging from the door of a carriage, and she's the one who's having trouble accepting that she got outrun. In fact, it looks like the only reason he puts a hand out to push her away is that she tries to grab onto him while he's going for the clue. But that's a controversy for week. Also, bungee-jumping!