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Hippie Pretty

The Final Push - The last leg takes the teams to Alaska, where Chris and Ron stay in the lead until a startlingly complex Roadblock allows TK and Rachel to pass them and take the crown. Better luck next time, Mean Dad.

Miss Alli

Ta-Pie In The Face

Sorry, Guys, I'm Not Happy To See You - Jen and Nate are still arguing as the teams head to Taiwan. With four teams left and three reasonably cool ones, the odds are really not very good that we're going to see -- hey, look at that!

Miss Alli

Flowers And Robots

I Just Hope He Doesn't Croak On Us - TK and Rachel separate from the pack, and it's nothing but bad news for them. Meanwhile, Don learns to operate a robot, and Ron makes it most of the way through a leg without being a total jerk. Hooray!

Miss Alli

Philimination And Philimination Accessories

Honestly, They Have Witch Powers Or Something! - The final five teams go to India, where there's less trauma than usual as they try putting up posters, stringing flowers, and dragging tanks of propane. After blowing a U-Turn and misreading some directions, Kent and Vixen hit the bricks. Hey, at least the makeup routine can be fully restored.

Miss Alli

None Of The Teams Have A Way...

This Is Forever, Now - ...with B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Three teams get dud directions to Florence and end up driving all night, and it's kind of an exhausting leg. After setbacks both in and out of their control, TK and Rachel make it to the mat ahead of Kent and Vixen, who aren't eliminated, but are in some real trouble now.

Couch Baron

Faltering Economy

Cherry On Top Of The Sundae That's Already Melted - The teams head from Lithuania to Croatia, and one team learns that you always, always check your tickets, because "walk" doesn't mean "take a taxi," and "fly" doesn't mean "business class."

Miss Alli

Stilt-ifying

We've Really Burned Bridges, For Sure - Everybody goes to Lithuania, where carrying baskets and walking on stilts turn out to be really easy, compared to some people's experiences with counting.

Miss Alli

You Can Dance If You Want To

Let's Name Our Chicken Phil - In Burkina Faso, the teams choose between dancing and mining, and then there are more animals involved, if you can believe it. Jason and Lorena take their final bows, and they go off into a future of being totally doomed, if we're being honest.

Miss Alli

Camel Kicks And Milk

Please, Lord, Give Me Milk - In Burkina Faso, the teams try out a little camel-milking, test out their language skills, and try to pronounce "Ouagadougou." Yeah, good luck with that.

Miss Alli

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

I've Become The Archie Bunker Of The Home - Amsterdam involves less pot and fewer hookers than you might think, but there's plenty of mud, and there are certainly plenty of bicycles.

Miss Alli

Smack That Ass

Donkeys Have Souls, Too - In Ireland, the teams deal with biking, getting directions, and managing stubborn pack animals. Yay!

Miss Alli

The Nine Best Episodes Ever

The Nine Best Episodes Ever - You've heard about the Emmy wins and the All-Star round and Rob and Amber, but can you name the nine best Amazing Race episodes of all time? We can.

Miss Alli

The Pill Of Victory

Low To The Ground, That's My Technique - Honolulu and San Francisco, and then Eric and Pink win the season they've tried to pass off as "All-Stars." I swear, I'm not kidding.

Miss Alli

Have Guam, Will Travel

Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War - The teams go to Guam, where they visit a couple of military installations and do a little navigating and hard labor. Danny and Oswald are eliminated, and the final three looks...kind of grim, actually.

Miss Alli

Macau, Right In The Kisser

Good Doing Business With You - Danny and Oswald sell their Yield, which causes them more morality-related angst than Donald Rumsfeld has ever spared for tortured detainees. Eric and Pink unmark themselves, and Danny and Oswald finish last, but are not eliminated.

Miss Alli

Laundry And Kicking

We Are Trying To Make Love, Not War - A leg in Hong Kong shows a distressingly narrow view of this particular location, and Eric and Pink aren't even eliminated, even though they're last. All in all, not a very satisfying episode.

Miss Alli

Hey, Guys, Wait Up

The Way You Look, Yeah - Everybody goes to Malaysia! Well, except for Uchenna and Joyce. I mean, they go eventually, but by the time they get there, all the bike-riding and cookie-eating is over.

Miss Alli

Knight Of The Sausages

If I Were In Town, I Would Ask For Your Number - Warsaw, Auschwitz, bagels, sausages, and Mirna haranguing an armor-clad Charla. What more could you possibly want? Well, Team Guido gets booted, so that's the bad part.

Miss Alli

I Got A Cab At Zanzibar

We're Going To Trade You For Food Now - Teams play airport shuffle forever, and with the help of some very mysterious "weather," they are bunched and anti-bunched and spread across many hours. Charla and Mirna snag another victory, while Ian and Teri and their hats go home.

Miss Alli

The Big Mozambique

You Need To Watch Your Jokes, Guy - Rats are complicit in a whirl around Mozambique, in which Uchenna and Joyce come in last, but avoid elimination.

Miss Alli

Over Before It Even Staah-ted

No Babies On The Race - This week, Rob and Amber do almost everything wrong, and while not everything they do wrong really matters, everything is enough to land them in last place and send them home.

Miss Alli

Clueless, On Several Fronts

I'm Sorry I'm Wearing A Bathing Suit. It Is Very Weird, I Know - A whole bunch of teams make mistakes this week, but Mary and David's navigation error trumps all the other ones, and they finally go home. Good job, Chile!

Miss Alli

Mirna Goes-o Nutso

Beauty Is Sometimes Skin Deep - In Chile, the race involves a lot of driving, and the teams are not brilliant with the navigation. After a mind-bending Roadblock and a strength-testing Detour, Kevin and Drew are eliminated, which at least means that Drew can lie down. Yeesh.

Miss Alli

When Guido Met Mirna

I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio - The very odd experience that is the All-Star Race begins. You will be shocked to hear that Rob and Amber run away with the leg and John Vito and Jill get lost a lot.

Miss Alli

Go Overdogs!

Say Your Deepest Prayers Ever - Another season, another whirlwind trip back to the United States. The teams run neck and neck as the producers intend, right up until the *lyns miss the flight to New York. From there, Tyler and James battle it out on the ground with Rob and Kimberly, and the models emerge victorious.

Miss Alli

Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now! - In Barcelona, an awesomely weird Detour sends Rob and Kim into a spectacular meltdown and sends the BQs home. So the final three looks…really not like you might have expected.

Miss Alli

The Beauty Of Coming In Last

We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches - Dustin and Kandice make a few mistakes this week (none of which is Yielding Lyn and Karlyn), and after getting out of the first two without a scratch, they run into a problem with the last one, and it dumps them in last place. It's non-elimination, though, so they're not done yet.

Miss Alli

Finish Last = Nice Guys?

Lookin' Like A Blue-Haired Lady On A Sunday Drive - The *wins continue to wait (and wait) for the *lyns at various points during the race, until they wait once too often and find themselves Philiminated. At least they don't have to live with the shame of competition.

Miss Alli

Finland, Finland, Finland

Being Polite Sucks Sometimes - A trip to Finland turns into the first half of a two-parter, but not before we get to see some family members and some mud.

Miss Alli

The Longest Philimination

He Can't Swim, But He Can Eat Cow Lips - The teams island-hop to Madagascar, where they run into a weird Detour in which they have to work in teams of two teams (really!), then a rubber-stamping Roadblock. Dave and Mary manage to sneak in ahead of the *lyns, but last week's NEL penalty does them in.

Miss Alli

More-WHAT-ee-us?

I Wonder If This Is Going To Make My Fingers Pickle - The teams head to Mauritius and hunt around in some piles of salt, but mostly, they get lost a lot. The "Six Pack" alliance is stuck in the back, and Mary and Dave come in last again. Still? Not out of it. They are lasting a long time for people who aren't racing very well.

Miss Alli

Kuwait Of The World

Maybe Steven Seagal Will See Me And Want Me To Be In One Of His Movies - Kuwait is apparently a very tough place to navigate, because this episode contains an awful lot of driving around looking out of windows and despairing. Dave and Mary escape their non-elimination penalty, and Peter and Sarah are eliminated, at which point she punts him. Thank goodness.

Miss Alli

What A Croc

I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh! - India brings its usual combination of unusual roadside attractions, local smells, interesting tasks, and the separation of the graceful and the graceless. The season-long game of Name Peter's Personality Disorder continues.

Miss Alli

Buoy Oh Buoy

I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing! - A water-based leg in Vietnam does in Tom and Terry, who have trouble moving a sampan and don't find dragging the boat manually to be a perfect solution. Go figure.

Miss Alli

Birdcages, Flowers, And John McCain

Oh, Wow! It's Like One Of Those Things You See On TV! - The race heads for Vietnam, where the teams sell flowers to the locals and learn a little about getting dirty and fuel sources. Duke and Lauren have navigation problems and wind up behind, and when Terry and Tom's karmic smack isn't quite hard enough, Duke and Lauren are Philiminated. Sniff.

Miss Alli

Pom-Pom And Bad Circumstance

Can Horses Smell Fear? - Jamie and Kellie are booted at the end of a topsy-turvy leg that's all about navigation, persistence, aim, remaining calm around animals, folding, and scooping up water with your shoe. Really!

Miss Alli

Two For The Price Of One

Real Fast! Quack, Quack! - The race kicks off and goes in a westerly direction this time, heading first to China, where the Muslim friends and the Indian couple are eliminated in the very first episode. Diversity, like fame, is fleeting.

Miss Alli

And unicorns danced!

5 Continents...10 Countries...And More than 59 Thousand Miles! - In what the show clearly finds to be the most feel-good ending ever, BJ and Tyler grab a victory based on one task after being soundly thrashed in approximately 4,000 other tasks. That does feel good. Please, sir, may I have another?

Miss Alli

Babes In Thailand

I Think This Monkey Likes Me! - BJ and Tyler get free clothes from the overly generous, win the Fast Forward, come in first, and get rid of MoJo, their least favorite team. Quite a week.

Miss Alli

Enjoying the glory of Darwin

Man, They Should Have Used Fake Names - In Australia, MoJo are blamed for a cab-canceling stunt by Eric and Jeremy, and they wind up getting hit with a Yield. Nevertheless, they avoid last place in a mad dash to the finish, and BJ and Tyler have to be saved by another non-elimination round.

Miss Alli

For whatever it's Perth

Do You Know How Much Running I Did Today, Phil? - Australia! There is no riding of kangaroos or throwing of boomerangs (yet), but there is plenty of prison-breaking and breathless battles against beach erosion. In the end, Fran and Barry make their exit, leaving some dudes and some bickering couples to fight it out for the million.

Miss Alli

Bulletproof Hippies

Here Comes The Bedouin! - In Oman, the teams cope with stubborn camels, cartoon maps, and concealed meat. As it must, it turns out to be a non-elimination, which means that the shift in the universe where Eric and Jeremy and BJ and Tyler wind up on the bottom of the pack has absolutely no meaning.

Miss Alli

Greece, Lightning

Herculean Effort For Some Herculean Dudes - It rains and storms for most of the leg as the teams hang around in Rome for a short time before heading to Athens. Tune in for bungee jumping, track and field, a team scramble, and the Philimination of Lake and Michelle.

Miss Alli

The many fish of Italy

Sleep Deprivation Is Really Starting To Irritate Me - A dull leg runs around Sicily, and the teams kind of drive around and carry stuff and throw a ball, and then it's over and Dave and Lori are Philiminated. How unsatisfying.

Miss Alli

Italians Dressing

Good Thing I Took That Human Anatomy Class In High School - Well, if they were dressing, they'd leave their laundry all over the place, which is vaguely relevant to this week's jaunt across Italy. Marvel as Danielle and Dani fight it out with Ray and Yolanda for last place but, after being Yielded by Lake and Michelle, the former team receives its overdue walking papers.

Miss Alli

I Wonder As I Wanda

It's Not Over Until The Phil Sings - From Moscow to Germany, teams struggle with navigation, closed flights, and silly costumes. Lots of mugging, lots of luck, and the unwelcome elimination of Wanda and Desiree make for a ho-hum episode, fast cars or no fast cars.

Miss Alli

Drivers, divers, and dolls

I'm In Russia, Playing With Dolls - In Moscow, teams confront their fear of water, their fear of little dolls, and their fear of losing their luggage. They do not, however, confront a pit stop.

Miss Alli

Sugar, sugar

I'm Filthy And I Love It - This week, the jaunt through Brazil continues as the teams try a rappel down a huge apartment building and a sugar-water Detour, and in the end, to no one's surprise, Lisa and Joni go home.

Miss Alli

Brazil nuts

Here We Go, Baby, Off To Win A Million Bucks - We're off again, from Denver to Brazil. No bunching, no "choose a departure time," just "get there as fast as you can." What could be better?

Miss Alli

Canada, dry

25 Days, 50 Cities, And More Than 600 Consecutive Hours As A Family... - The ho-hum Family Edition comes to a ho-hum, could-have-been-worse end when the Linzes best the Weavers and Bransens to win a million dollars. The geography nod is pretty cool, though.

Miss Alli

Even pink girls get the blues

The Family Christmas Card - A trip through the Wild West leaves the teams dashing for the first elimination in weeks, and the axe falls on the Godlewskis, who argue themselves right out of the race. Sad, but weirdly inevitable.

Miss Alli

In my beautiful (and slow) balloon

Don't Talk To Me Like I Was An Animal Or Something - The teams explore Utah and Wyoming, and wait around to see Old Faithful erupt. It's about that exciting, and in the end, it's not even the end, because it's To Be Continued.

Miss Alli

The agony of non-defeat

How's That Face Feel? - The most disappointing non-elimination ever occurs when the Weavers race horribly, are Yielded, give up, and still get to stay. They even get a pep talk from Phil. Gross. In other news: Utah.

Miss Alli

Double your "pleasure," double your zzzzz…

You Look Ridiculous - Having spent a couple of episodes outside the United States, it's clearly time to come back, so it's off to Arizona to ride go-karts and bail out sinking boats and ultimately say goodbye to the Paolos. And the Weavers just keep getting worse.

Miss Alli

What's the matter with Florida?

I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do - This is the week when nobody likes the Weavers. The Paolos don't like them, the Godlewskis don't like them, the Linzes sure as hell don't like them, and the Bransens...are still kind of just there. Despite all that bad mojo, it's not the Weavers but the charming Gaghans who take the fall. It was inevitable, but...sigh.

Miss Alli

A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Whatever

We're Getting Out Of The Country, Girls - The teams head out of the country for the first time, sort of meandering around Panama letting luck have its way with them. The Paolos take advantage of the Fast Forward, but the Godlewskis can't take advantage of a baseball Roadblock, so they wind up mugged by Phil for everything they have other than the twenty pairs of underwear they have on.

Miss Alli

Sawing logs, indeed

Think Like An Office Chair - A jaunt through Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana takes the teams bike-riding, card-playing, and sponsor-hunting. It's about as exciting as it sounds.

Miss Alli

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Go

I Don't Kiss, I Make Out! - A largely random Philimination of the likable Aiellos "highlights" a boring episode that involves mostly "drive here" and "walk there" and Waffle House and AOL and booooo!

Miss Alli

Antebellum? I hardly even know 'em!

How Do We Know We Aren't Going To Get Shot? - The teams trek to Washington, D.C. and then to Virginia this week as they study up on reflecting pools, the Civil War, and the difference between a couple of concepts we like to call "east" and "west."

Miss Alli

On The Road Again

Go Mommy, Go! We Can Beat Them! - A bunch of SUVs, the open road, and forty people. It's the recipe for the weirdest race ever, and whatever you think of the concept, you'll likely sniffle at the pit stop elimination of an eight-year-old. Yikes.

Miss Alli

Money for nothing, and your wedding for free

Rob And Amber Get Married - You've seen them, and you've either loved them or hated them or been indifferent to them, and there's a good chance you're good and tired of them. So here's two more hours! Eat it!

Miss Alli

Thanks a bunch

Five Continents, 25 Cities, and More Than 40,000 Miles - A jaunt through Jamaica and Puerto Rico brings the teams to Miami, where the usual final-leg machinations bring it down to the usual final-leg taxi ride, and Uchenna and Joyce -- having benefited from the best and most unlikely string of luck and bunching in the history of the show -- manage a nice victory for themselves. She did give her hair for the cause, after all.

Miss Alli

Where-wolves of London

The Devil Made Me Do It - The race moves along to England, where Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly fight it out for first place and Joyce and Uchenna and Gretchen and Meredith struggle to stay in the game. Ultimately, Meredith and Gretchen run out of luck, and it's time to say goodbye to a couple of nice, if loud, individuals.

Miss Alli

Happy Turkey Day

We Got A Gnome! We Got A Gnome! - The teams head to Istanbul, where a surprised Uchenna and Joyce and Gretchen and Meredith find themselves a couple of hours ahead of a karma-slapped Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly. It's non-elimination, fortunately for a certain responsibility-shirking POW.

Miss Alli

Bald ambition

We Have A Bad Elephant - An elephant-pushing Detour and a camel-whupping Roadblock take a back seat to the poetry of head-shaving as the race continues across India. Get a tissue, y'all, because Joyce is bald. At least we get to bid farewell to Alex and Lynn, so there's something to feel happy about.

Miss Alli

Tea, totally

Mow 'Em Down Like Grass - In India, the teams tackle a patience-testing Roadblock and a rather chaotic Detour that sends them around like the donut-cart guy at your office. In the end, all is "To Be Continued," so how's that for anticlimactic?

Miss Alli

Moving forward at a good clip

They Saved The Eyeball - We take a brief moment between legs to enjoy a clip show, in which we get a relatively small amount of new footage and a fairly hefty amount of old footage. You've been dying to relive the Meatblock, haven't you?

Miss Alli

Animal magnetism

Houston, We Have An Elephant - It's wildlife week on The Amazing Race, as the teams interact with goats, giraffes, elephants, ostriches, cows, little pig-like things, and, in Ron and Kelly's case, the vultures now circling their relationship.

Miss Alli

Head wounds and foot races

I've Been Wanting A Face Lift For A Long Time - First, Gretchen gets herself a nice walking-wounded appearance, and then she and Meredith lose all their money and their stuff at a non-elimination mat. Then the most satisfying ending of all time comes along as Brian and Greg...well, you really have to see it.

Miss Alli

Horses, horses, horses, horses

What A Gaucho You Are - In Argentina, the teams try out their equestrian skills, then head to Buenos Aires for a little boating and navigating. Rob and Amber annoy everyone by...winning, again, while Susan and Patrick learn that sometimes defeatism really is its own "reward."

Miss Alli

The one with all the eating

Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation? - The race moves to Argentina, with some getting there faster than others, and after a straightforward bike/boat Detour, we reach the voluminous-eating Roadblock that gives Rob a chance to show off his maneuvering skills, and results in the welcome Philimination of Debbie and Bianca.

Miss Alli

Chile con queso

The Whole Country Hates Me - The whirlwind tour of South America continues as the teams head for Santiago, Chile. A challenging Detour involving groceries and literacy rounds out a satisfying episode that sees the departure of Megan and Heidi. You won't miss them.

Miss Alli

Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt

Courteous? This Is A Race! - We're off again, and...hey, not everyone is hateworthy, and there are hardly any giant men dragging whiny chicks around! There's something vaguely familiar about this show. I used to be in love with one just like it.

Miss Alli

The bar is still open

TARcon 6: Twenty Things - Welcome to TARcon 6, where the oogy Freddy/Kendra victory is washed from our minds by a lovely collection of racers, from the tall to the...even taller.

Miss Alli

Back to the (sucking) Windy City

4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles - After a final stop in China where Hayden quits and Aaron proposes to her, the remaining three teams head for Honolulu and then Chicago, where Kris and Jon, having been screwed by a ticket agent, lose the race to Freddy and the odious Kendra. It's fitting, somehow.

Miss Alli

Like Madonna and Sean Penn, only more tiresome

You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate - In Shanghai, the final four teams race around with buildings and bricks and whatnot, and Kris and Jon get every slow cab driver in the city to take them on various Rides of Futility. Fortunately, Hornio finishes last; unfortunately, it is non-elimination.

Miss Alli

A farewell to arms

It Always Comes Down To The Details - Really, really big arms, that is. A jaunt through Sri Lanka ends in disaster for Lori and Bolo when they fall victim to the dreaded Failure To Read The Clue. Sad, really.

Miss Alli

Taking out the trash

Are There Instructions On Donkey-Handling? - Ethiopia brings mud, donkeys, medallions, and the merciful end of Jonathan and Victoria. God, FINALLY.

Miss Alli

Rotten to the Corsica

Tell My Mom I Love Her - Corsica brings grape-stomping and wall-climbing. And more arguing from Jonathan and Victoria. And more twitting around from El Hornio. And more bitching from Hayden. And more of Kris being the coolest chick on the block. None of this should come as a surprise to you at this point.

Miss Alli

Soup to nuts

One Of You, I'm Gonna Break In Half - Budapest continues to challenge the teams as Lori and Bolo recover, Gus and Hera fall behind, and Jon shows off his bod. Oh, and Jonathan and Victoria are still total freaks.

Miss Alli

Over And Over, They'll Be A Fool For You

Phil Is A Choo-Choo Charlie - Because the effort to become a Burnett show isn't quite obvious enough yet, we are now subjected to a Burnett-like clip show in which, as usual, there is primarily a lot of stuff we've already seen and rehashed a number of times. Not to make it sound less than exciting.

Miss Alli

The Best Pest Is A Budapest

They Probably Should Have Some Counseling - Jonathan is still making himself unpopular among the world's cab drivers, but at least there is no pushing or shoving. Kendra gripes, Hayden can't drive, and all the chicks are bungee-jumping.

Miss Alli

Hysterical Landmarks

Quit Following Us - Jonathan and Kendra reach new lows, but the race itself is all about history this week. As in, "The teams visit some powerful reminders of dark periods in." As in, "The team that has been alive for the greatest percentage of." As in, "Is."

M. Giant

Go Fish

What If It Isn't Sanitary? - In Senegal, the teams are confronted with fish, salt, and ferries. After showing off their muscles -- and in some cases their capacity for nausea -- the teams cruise into the pit stop, and although Don and MJ struggle for another week, they find the glorious non-elimination waiting.

Miss Alli

Bale out

Counting Bears Is Not Rocket Science - After navigating well, competently handling the more difficult Detour option, and getting to the Roadblock in third place, Lena and Kristy fall on very, very hard times and are eliminated. Sigh. This season is already sad.

Miss Alli

A Few Leaders And A Bunch Of Oslo-Rans

I'm Not His Wife -- He Doesn't Need To Scream At Me - The race moves to Norway, where heights, navigation, and a tricky Detour make for a complicated leg. Meredith and Maria also can't drive stick, which is a pretty good metaphor for their poor performance generally. They get booted, which seems fair.

Miss Alli

Aaaand they're off! Again!

The Game's Afoot - Welcome back to racing, people, and to a two-hour opening extravaganza featuring Chicago, Iceland, arguing, diesel, and lots and lots of models.

Miss Alli

The Philiminaterview

The Phil Keoghan Interview - The Emmy, the race, the new show, and why his cars keep getting impounded. It's all here.

Miss Alli

Open Bars and Big TVs

TARcon 5: Twenty Things - It's a party, it's a madhouse, it's an institution. Step inside TARcon 5 and feel the love. And the drunkenness.

Miss Alli

United, We Fly Standby

You've Just Made Me A Millionaire - In the first half of the finale, Linda and Karen almost pull out a victory over Colin and Christie, but then...they don't, and they are eliminated. And then it's the race to the finish, where baggage regulations and speedy taxi drivers make all the difference. Dare anyone hope for a truly satisfying conclusion?

Miss Alli

You gotta dance with the ox that brung ya

It's Okay, Run Them Over! - In New Zealand and in the Philippines, Colin is an ass in any language and culture. When he and Christie fall momentarily behind at just the wrong moment, they find themselves victims of the dreaded Yield, and, totally unable to cope with falling out of first place, they collapse utterly. Only an unexpected non-elimination saves them from departing the Race entirely. Darn.

Miss Alli

Barbarians at Hell's Gate

If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good - This week's jaunt to New Zealand takes the teams past the Yield sign to a dirty and foamy Detour, followed by the opportunity to have a ball on some rolling hills. In the end, the Twinkies' luck finally runs out, and we are down to the final four.

Miss Alli

Only God Can Make A Brick

If You're Gonna Whine, Just Shut Up! - Or so it appears as the teams begin this season's tour of India with a glance at masonry and unfamiliar good-luck rituals. Wait, has Jack Chick heard about this?

Miss Alli

Officer, we're not with him

I'm Going To Jail - The rest of the teams cringe as Colin mouths off to Tanzanian law enforcement, and the Twinkies land at the back of the pack but are saved from Philimination. Sigh.

Miss Alli

How egg-stremely satisfying

Are You Sure This Is Safe? - After frolicking around Tanzania for a while, the teams wind up in an egg-eating contest that results in the overdue elimination of Mirna and Charla. Wave goodbye.

Miss Alli

Hello, I must be quitting

Why Can't We Get a Camel? - The teams trek across Egypt and experience the local fauna. A donkey ride, a wrestling match with a bunch of sheep, and the hunt for the elusive ancient beetle (or possibly sword) highlight the trip to Luxor. And then Marshall and Lance quit, and no one cares.

Miss Alli

Suck Like An Egyptian

Are You Good At Puzzles? - A couple of teams really ratchet up the performance problems this week, particularly the Twinkies, who think that puzzle pieces are included with clues for no reason whatsoever. The Bowling Moms drag across the finish line last after early problems with flights, but they are not Philiminated. They are, however, broke.

Miss Alli

Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat? - A long and arduous leg takes the teams from Argentina to Russia, where they enjoy booze, sports, and the opportunity to confront their inner demons, provided their inner demons smell like fish eggs. Yuck.

Miss Alli

Going, Going, Gondola

I Got Electrocuted! - Stuck in the mud, baffled by airline ticketing, and bellyaching only partly because of chocolate, the teams make their way across Argentina. In spite of their spunky attitude, Jim and Marsha cannot overcome early mistakes, and they are forced to take their hobbled selves back home.

Miss Alli

Tango and Cash

It Turned Ugly Just Now - These are only two of the issues facing the teams in this week of critical decisions. The Detour is harder to read than most, the Roadblock is entertaining, and we learn again that you take the taxi, not the bus. Ferries and cemeteries and mysterious men round out the week's highlights.

Miss Alli

I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!

Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You - The fifth race kicks off with a jaunt to Uruguay and a day full of meat, boats, and gambling. And it's not even Mardi Gras. Join the party -- it's still an awful lot of fun.

Miss Alli

Kisses, Coronas, and clowns

TARcon 4: Twenty More Things - Another season finale, another New York party. Five hundred people. Thirty-five racers. Phil. Bert and Elise. Assorted reality stragglers. Quite a lot of flash photography. Join us -- there's no use calling it crazy now.

Miss Alli

Phoenix Is the New New York

It's Like Adam Building His First House! - The teams take a final leap from Australia to Hawaii, and then to Phoenix for the finish. Team Who falls out of the picture, leaving Jon and Kelly and the Chipsters to smash, crash, and dash their way to the finish line. In the end, it's the Chipsters taking first place in the most anticlimactic finale ever. They're lucky it's a good show, because it's not much of an ending.

Miss Alli

The program gets a little buggy

He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack! - In Australia, there are crocodiles, sheep, and horses. Dive into the local fauna in this second-to-last leg, and stay to watch a guy run over his partner's foot, another guy roll his vehicle, and two guys vying for first place in the white t-shirt contest.

Miss Alli

"Drive to the pit stop," my foot

Such A Nice Pheromone Smell To You; Just Makes Me Want To Stay Close to You - The race heads for Brisbane and a nice set of tasks, including a gutsy rappel and an underwater walk with sharks. But the real action is in flight planning and clue-reading, both of which cause substantial difficulties for otherwise competent teams.

Miss Alli

My brilliant Korea

That's Me. That's My Face. Just Hit My Face. Hit My Face! - A heart-thumping succession of tasks, including an icy dive, a choice between live food and martial arts, and quite a bit of taxi maneuvering, take the Final Four across South Korea. Don't expect an elimination, though -- just a lot of squirming.

Miss Alli

To sleep, perchance to scream

We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing - Millie and Chuck need a nap. Kelly and Jon need a mediator. David and Jeff need a guide dog. Furthermore, you never know what might happen when orangutans get involved. Throw in a hard-fought race to the finish, and it's a leg you won't soon forget.

Miss Alli

He ain't heavy, he's my lobster

The Princess Reminded Me Of My Grandmother. She Was Very Old But Still Very, Very With It - Malaysia beckons, so after a complex airport shuffle and a lesson in sacrificing sleep, the teams take on a good luck blessing, choose between fish and shellfish, and make like William Tell.

Miss Alli

Pains, trains, and automobiles

We're Going Down The Wrong Side Of The Freeway...And The Lights Are Off! - Taxicab karma, train endurance, petty mole-hating, and the stubbornness of live chickens come into play as the teams continue getting dirty in various parts of India. May we suggest the first-class upgrade?

Miss Alli

Societal fabric softener

I Could Never Have Been Prepared For What I'm Looking At Right Now - Bring on the culture shock and dirty laundry, because we're departing Europe and heading for India. There, we explore the film industry, the perils of public transportation, and the importance of proper fish identification.

Miss Alli

In the manure to which you've become accustomed

You Are Just Deliberately Trying To Make Us Lose! - Windmills, poop, cheese, and wooden shoes -- now I ask you, what more does a jaunt through Holland need in order to be successful?

Miss Alli

Barbarians at the gate

Check Your Tires Because...Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen! - A Kelly/Millie feud, the mental errors of the Chipsters, Josh's decision to boldly go where no one else is going, and a big old fight about line-jumping provide the drama as we zip around France.

Miss Alli

Don't Bite on the Beethoven

I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards! - In Vienna, it's a week of classical music, sewers, train follies, champagne glasses, and yelling. Lots and lots of yelling.

Miss Alli

We Open in Venice

It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger. - Okay, we actually open in Cortina, but we wind up in Venice. Do gondoliers actually sing? What constitutes "traditional Venetian garb"? Is it worth giving your intestines to obtain the Fast Forward? A tightly contested leg in Italy offers some answers.

Miss Alli

Again with the racing

Cheaters Never Win -- And They Cheated! - It's time to get started, and this time we've got clowns, models, virgins, air traffic controllers, and more guys named Steve than we know what to do with. Airports, snow, and feats of daring await, so it's time to hit the road again.

Miss Alli

Who's the loud girl in the red?

TARCon 3: The Con Continues To Grow - Oh, that's just the recapper. Don't mind her, she's a little strange. The point is that we had another party. Be there or be square.

Miss Alli

It's the end of the world as we know it

They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part II - As the teams make their way from Vietnam to Seattle for the big finale, it's all about planes, trains, and automobiles. Will Flo get her comeuppance? Will Teri and Ian stop arguing? Will Ken and Gerard give in to Killer Fatigue? I'll give you a hint: You sort of don't want to know.

Miss Alli

I'll stop the world and melt down with you

They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part I - In Vietnam, Flo doesn't want to ride the train. Or paddle the boat. Or ride the bikes. Or quit whining. She must be stopped.

Miss Alli

Ferry dusted

Don't Try To Play The Moralist Now! - We're in Vietnam, where Flo whines nonstop from the beginning of the leg to the end, and where Ian suddenly finds a few things to smile about. Rain, fruit, bikes, and a critical ferry ride lead to the elimination of the lovely Derek and Drew.

Miss Alli

Shut up and Singapore

Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part II - The race moves from Europe to Asia, and Flo moves from merely annoying to truly unbearable. Two great big fountains and one perplexing celebrity mark the way to Singapore, where it's nothing but heartbreak on the Philimination mat.

Miss Alli

Everything Flo's downhill from here

Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part I - Wow, Flo is annoying. Annoying in the gorge, annoying on the car train, annoying with the goats, annoying with the bike, and mind-bendingly annoying on the trip to the steamship. How is she not eliminated?

Miss Alli

Zach and Jill went up the hill

This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down! - And so did everybody else. There's a big waterfall, a complex Detour involving money and trees, a difficult Roadblock involving fruit and violence, and a long climb in the Alps. And Ian and Teri? Still suck.

Miss Alli

Flights of fancy, flats of fate

I'm Supposed To Be Indebted To Her For The Rest Of The Race?! - Mastering the Morocco airports and navigating the Austrian streets are the keys to success this week as the racers tear around Europe. There's bobsledding, there's surfing, and there's sleeping at an inopportune moment. And nothing is more tense than sleeping.

Miss Alli

Weeping and whaling

I'm A Much Better Liar Than You Are - Team Aahab takes a powder at the close of this leg that also features horses, digging in the sand, rugs, snails, local corruption, and a jackass who treats his wife like dirt.

Miss Alli

Don't read 'em and weep

What Happens If I Slip? Am I Just Hanging Off A Cliff? - Flo wigs out on a cliff, Aaron cries by the side of the road, Teri gives Ian some much-needed advice, Gerard offers just the right sweet encouragement, and Michael and Kathy take it a little too easy on the road to Morocco.

Miss Alli

These bootings are made for taking a taxi

Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face - Teams race from Scotland to Portugal, spend a fair amount of time walking, transport alcohol, and confront any dodgeball demons they may be harboring from childhood.

Miss Alli

Tanks for the memories

You Always Just Forget About Me! - It's Transportation Showcase Week, as airline booking challenges, tandem bikes, charter buses, boats with poles, limousines, tanks, and the ever-present taxis cooperate to get the teams from Cancun to Scotland. Oh, and there is still lots of pointless pettiness to go around.

Miss Alli

Double-Tall Double-Short Crappuccino

This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell! - Aaron and Arianne and Flo and Zach continue to bug, as several other teams begin the slow path to rehabilitation. We've got jet skis, kayaks, dolphins, ferries, topless chicks, ill-fitting life jackets, and horrifying bus accidents. Okay, the bus accident isn't that horrifying.

Miss Alli

Once more, with feeling

What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open? - We're off to a fine start as the annoying, the dimwitted, the strangely appealing, and the just plain weird go winging off from Miami to Mexico City in search of a million dollars.

Miss Alli

Twenty Things About TARcon

TARcon2: New York City - You remember last year's TARcon? How out of control it was? Yeah, that party was a sewing circle compared to the insanity that ensued at the Manhattan Chili Company on the night of the TAR 2 finale. Read all about it, if you dare.

Miss Alli

Can you buy a neck for a million bucks?

Follow That Plane!, Part II - At the end of the road, it's not quite as much about rooting for anyone in particular as it is about making sure it's anyone but Wil and Tara. Anyone else. Really. Really. Oh, and if I tell you that this episode features balls of ice, what exactly will you make of that?

Miss Alli

Clueless, in every sense of the word

Follow That Plane!, Part I - In the first half of the finale, the contestants explore Hawaii. Plastic pineapples, sugar cane fields, and map-reading are the order of the day.

Miss Alli

Goodbye, honeys

It's Hammer Time - A driving-heavy leg tests the teams' endurance and map-reading skills as they continue exploring New Zealand. Tune in for lots of helmets, lots of jumpsuits, and the fondest of farewells to the darling Cha-Cha-Cha.

Miss Alli

Contestants do get woolly, 'cause of all the stress

Ready To Lose Our Lives - Enjoy the bungee jumping, sheep-herding, tractor trailers, subterfuge, counter-subterfuge, and anti-counter-subterfuge as the contestants progress from Australia to New Zealand. There's no elimination, but there is a lot of screaming.

Miss Alli

Dorks on Golf

I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part II - In Sydney, climb a great big bridge or eat a meat pie, depending on your personal preference. Then try to get in front in the outback, where golf, opals, and boomerangs await. Oh -- and good night, Gary and Dave.

Miss Alli

Shop Till You Drop

I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part I - Carry a lion, steer a dragon, read the damn Roadblock directions, and you'll be just fine. Hong Kong to Sydney, party of ten. Well, eleven, counting Phil.

Miss Alli

Peach Wobbler

I'm Gonna Throw Up On Phil's Shoes - Gary changes some flight reservations, Wil takes off his hat, Chris loses a studly battle, Dave gets good news about his face, and Peach runs out of steam. Join us in Hong Kong.

Miss Alli

There's nothing like a clean elephant

I'm Gonna Take His Girl - The Amazing Race continues its love affair with Thailand as the racers try a little shopping and a whole lot of train riding, and make like Huck Finn, except with more bamboo.

Miss Alli

Thai one on

Welcome To The World Of Being Human - The teams race through Bangkok, making offerings to their ancestors and trying to solve the longstanding debate regarding the merits of taxis versus tuk-tuks.

Miss Alli

Sex, booze, and the general dealer

This Game Is About Minutes - The teams act like idiots at a winery, fight for taxis, slide down a sand dune, and buy wooden animals. Wil is rude, Chris has no respect for personal space, and Danny's foot hurts. Will the excitement never stop?

Miss Alli

I'm leaving on a jet plane...if I can find one

My Alarm Clock Didn't Go Off! - Getting flights from Brazil to South Africa isn't easy, and you really don't want to go by way of New York. Dancing, fish, and a roasted sheep's head are prominently featured along the road from jungle to wine.

Miss Alli

Come on baby, let's do the twist

Help Me, I'm American - Begging, buses, and boats. Feathers, foot injuries, and the Fast Forward. Unpredictable transportation and other mysteries lead to a genuinely suspenseful trek across Brazil.

Miss Alli

It'll be just like starting over

The World Is Waiting: Go! - As the new race begins, Wil sucks. The twins look alike, the grandmas find a raisin, Blake's teeth cause temporary blindness, and I don't know which Bostonian is which.

Miss Alli

Out with the frying pan, in with lots of cosmetics

The Guido Interview, Part II - The glory of matching outfits, editing prowess, and lots and lots of sweet, sweet love. No, really. Join us for even more with Team Guido.

Miss Alli

That was no flying wedge! That was just a very special hug!

The Guido Interview, Part I - Team Guido shoots the breeze with TWoP about other contestants, other reality shows, controversies they have known and loved, and lots of other good stuff, in the first of two installments.

Miss Alli

We fought the law, and the law won

The Esquire Interview, Part II - Won us over, that is. Straight talk from the TAR winners on editing, Ugly Americanism, turning points, and the fine folks right here at MBTV.

Miss Alli

Team Esquire, Unbound

The Esquire Interview, Part I - We've got lawyers. They've got money. They won. We talked. It's all here.

Miss Alli

I had this dream where I hugged Loud Pushy Frank

The Amazing Race Finale "Con" In New York City - What would happen if you put reality show contestants, forum posters, the recapper, lots of noise, a big TV, and some alcohol in one room? The TARcon, that's what. Read all about it.

Miss Alli

End of the line

Race To The Finish, Part II - In the finale, slow dogs, cold water, and the care and feeding of cab drivers all play a part in the thrilling conclusion. Join us at the finish line, won't you?

Miss Alli

The beginning of the end, my friends

Race To The Finish, Part I - As we approach the end of the race, there's no more eliminating, just trying to get there before everybody else. Snow, ice, business class, driving, directions, cabins, and wrinkled clothing all present their own unique brands of challenge on this week's episode.

Miss Alli

Triumph of the Bill

Fight To The Last Minute - The race moves to China, where the challenges of eating chicken feet and playing ping-pong take a backseat to the challenges of digesting the most tense and upsetting final fifteen minutes we've suffered through yet. Damn you, Bruckheimer.

Miss Alli

Climb, Paddle, Swim

To The Physical and Mental Limit - This bifurcated episode features thirty minutes of Esquire and Danza climbing, paddling, and swimming, followed by thirty minutes of Guidos and Frats climbing, paddling, and swimming. It's all about the anti-bunching, baby.

Miss Alli

Coulda had 'em

The Unexpected Twist - Momily almost recovers beautifully. Guido almost gets eliminated. Rob almost wears a shirt for the entire episode. Frank almost goes all Loud and Pushy again. Phil almost has a Phunction.

Miss Alli

Thank you, wise man

Competition To The Fullest - It's all about rats and making the train, baby.

Miss Alli

Thank You India, Thank You Providence

Triumph And Loss - Momily melts down in India, while Frank and Margarita FF their way to the biggest lead yet. Team Kenny gets the boot, and Lenny individually gets the boot as well.

Miss Alli

The Guidos are evil

Whatever It Takes To Win - No, really. They're evil. They're not funny anymore. They're evil. They push Nancy. They lie to Lenny and Karyn (like those two don't have enough problems). They lie to themselves. They walk like geeks. I detest them. I deeeeee-test them.

Miss Alli

I'd walk a mile for a Camel

Desert Storm - Ride a camel, use a walkie-talkie, and just try not to throw up. Those are the keys to this week's episode, which requires us to bid a fond adios to Team Cockroach.

Miss Alli

Personal Dynamics A-Go-Go

Colossal Showdown - Everybody hates Team Guido. Everybody loves Dave and Margaretta. Lenny and Karyn hate each other. Kevin and Drew love Nancy and Emily. Actually, roving mobs of young men all love Emily. Man, it's Melrose Race!

Miss Alli

Tea and Treachery

Home For Some - Paris contains Ferris wheels and tea shops. Team Guido used to live there -- have they mentioned that? Crawling in the sewer, train follies, and two pendulums for the price of one, all in this episode.

Miss Alli

I hate Paris in the springtime...

Divide And Conquer - Alliances. Bitter hatred. The Eiffel Tower. People are seriously stupid, and somebody actually falls down. Karyn is mean to Lenny. Adios to a couple of really rotten sports, and even more love for Drew and Kev.

Miss Alli

Swing, you fat bastard!

The Race Begins - This pilot, shockingly enough, has the potential to reinvigorate the reality genre. No, really. Whatever feelings of hope or dread those inspire in you, take a moment to wallow in them.

Miss Alli