|
9-12 2006.05.17 |
And unicorns danced! In what the show clearly finds to be the most feel-good ending ever, BJ and Tyler grab a victory based on one task after being soundly thrashed in approximately 4,000 other tasks. That does feel good. Please, sir, may I have another? |
| 5-4 Recap |
Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat? - A long and arduous leg takes the teams from Argentina to Russia, where they enjoy booze, sports, and the opportunity to confront their inner demons, provided their inner demons smell like fish eggs. Yuck. |
2004.07.27 2004.08.02 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 5-3 Recap |
Going, Going, Gondola
I Got Electrocuted! - Stuck in the mud, baffled by airline ticketing, and bellyaching only partly because of chocolate, the teams make their way across Argentina. In spite of their spunky attitude, Jim and Marsha cannot overcome early mistakes, and they are forced to take their hobbled selves back home. |
2004.07.20 2004.07.26 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 5-2 Recap |
Tango and Cash
It Just Turned Ugly Right Now - These are only two of the issues facing the teams in this week of critical decisions. The Detour is harder to read than most, the Roadblock is entertaining, and we learn again that you take the taxi, not the bus. Ferries and cemeteries and mysterious men round out the week's highlights. |
2004.07.13 2004.07.18 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 5-1 Recap |
I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You - The fifth race kicks off with a jaunt to Uruguay and a day full of meat, boats, and gambling. And it's not even Mardi Gras. Join the party -- it's still an awful lot of fun. |
2004.07.06 2004.07.12 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| Extra |
Kisses, Coronas, and clowns
TARcon 4: Twenty More Things - Another season finale, another New York party. Five hundred people. Thirty-five racers. Phil. Bert and Elise. Assorted reality stragglers. Quite a lot of flash photography. Join us -- there's no use calling it crazy now. |
2003.08.21 2003.09.04 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-13 Recap |
Phoenix Is the New New York
It's Like Adam Building His First House! - The teams take a final leap from Australia to Hawaii, and then to Phoenix for the finish. Team Who falls out of the picture, leaving Jon and Kelly and the Chipsters to smash, crash, and dash their way to the finish line. In the end, it's the Chipsters taking first place in the most anticlimactic finale ever. They're lucky it's a good show, because it's not much of an ending. |
2003.08.21 2003.08.28 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| 4-12 Recap |
The program gets a little buggy
He's A Couple Of Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack - In Australia, there are crocodiles, sheep, and horses. Dive into the local fauna in this second-to-last leg, and stay to watch a guy run over his partner's foot, another guy roll his vehicle, and two guys vying for first place in the white t-shirt contest. |
2003.08.14 2003.08.19 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 4-11 Recap |
"Drive to the pit stop," my foot
Such A Nice Pheromone Smell To You... - The race heads for Brisbane and a nice set of tasks, including a gutsy rappel and an underwater walk with sharks. But the real action is in flight planning and clue-reading, both of which cause substantial difficulties for otherwise competent teams. |
2003.08.07 2003.08.14 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 4-10 Recap |
My brilliant Korea
That's Me. That's My Face. - A heart-thumping succession of tasks, including an icy dive, a choice between live food and martial arts, and quite a bit of taxi maneuvering, take the Final Four across South Korea. Don't expect an elimination, though -- just a lot of squirming. |
2003.07.31 2003.08.07 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-9 Recap |
To sleep, perchance to scream
We're Not At Charm School... - Millie and Chuck need a nap. Kelly and Jon need a mediator. David and Jeff need a guide dog. Furthermore, you never know what might happen when orangutans get involved. Throw in a hard-fought race to the finish, and it's a leg you won't soon forget. |
2003.07.24 2003.07.27 |
A+ |
Miss Alli |
| 4-8 Recap |
He ain't heavy, he's my lobster
The Princess Reminded Me of My Grandmother... - Malaysia beckons, so after a complex airport shuffle and a lesson in sacrificing sleep, the teams take on a good luck blessing, choose between fish and shellfish, and make like William Tell. |
2003.07.17 2003.07.24 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-7 Recap |
Pains, trains, and automobiles
We're Going Down The Wrong Side Of The Freeway...And The Lights Are Off! - Taxicab karma, train endurance, petty mole-hating, and the stubbornness of live chickens come into play as the teams continue getting dirty in various parts of India. May we suggest the first-class upgrade? |
2003.07.10 2003.07.17 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 4-6 Recap |
Societal fabric softener
I Could Have Never Been Prepared For What I'm Looking At Right Now - Bring on the culture shock and dirty laundry, because we're departing Europe and heading for India. There, we explore the film industry, the perils of public transportation, and the importance of proper fish identification. |
2003.07.03 2003.07.10 |
A+ |
Miss Alli |
| 4-5 Recap |
In the manure to which you've become accustomed
You Are Just Deliberately Trying To Make Us Lose! - Windmills, poop, cheese, and wooden shoes -- now I ask you, what more does a jaunt through Holland need in order to be successful? |
2003.06.26 2003.06.30 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-4 Recap |
Barbarians at the gate
Check Your Tires Because...Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen! - A Kelly/Millie feud, the mental errors of the Chipsters, Josh's decision to boldly go where no one else is going, and a big old fight about line-jumping provide the drama as we zip around France. |
2003.06.19 2003.06.26 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| 4-3 Recap |
Don't Bite on the Beethoven
I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards! - In Vienna, it's a week of classical music, sewers, train follies, champagne glasses, and yelling. Lots and lots of yelling. |
2003.06.12 2003.06.14 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-2 Recap |
We Open in Venice
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come First Served...And We're Bigger - Okay, we actually open in Cortina, but we wind up in Venice. Do gondoliers actually sing? What constitutes "traditional Venetian garb"? Is it worth giving your intestines to obtain the Fast Forward? A tightly contested leg in Italy offers some answers. |
2003.06.05 2003.06.10 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 4-1 Recap |
Again with the racing
Cheaters Never Win...And They Cheated! - It's time to get started, and this time we've got clowns, models, virgins, air traffic controllers, and more guys named Steve than we know what to do with. Airports, snow, and feats of daring await, so it's time to hit the road again. |
2003.05.29 2003.06.01 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| Extra |
Who's the loud girl in the red?
TARCon 3: The Con Continues To Grow - Oh, that's just the recapper. Don't mind her, she's a little strange. The point is that we had another party. Be there or be square. |
2002.12.18 2003.01.11 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 3-13 Recap |
It's the end of the world as we know it
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us (II) - As the teams make their way from Vietnam to Seattle for the big finale, it's all about planes, trains, and automobiles. Will Flo get her comeuppance? Will Teri and Ian stop arguing? Will Ken and Gerard give in to Killer Fatigue? I'll give you a hint: You sort of don't want to know. |
2002.12.18 2003.01.03 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 3-12 Recap |
I'll stop the world and melt down with you
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us - In Vietnam, Flo doesn't want to ride the train. Or paddle the boat. Or ride the bikes. Or quit whining. She must be stopped. |
2002.12.18 2002.12.27 |
A- |
Miss Alli |
| 3-11 Recap |
Ferry dusted
Don't Try To Play The Moralist Now! - We're in Vietnam, where Flo whines nonstop from the beginning of the leg to the end, and where Ian suddenly finds a few things to smile about. Rain, fruit, bikes, and a critical ferry ride lead to the elimination of the lovely Derek and Drew. |
2002.12.11 2002.12.17 |
A+ |
Miss Alli |
| 3-10 Recap |
Shut up and Singapore
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?! (II) - The race moves from Europe to Asia, and Flo moves from merely annoying to truly unbearable. Two great big fountains and one perplexing celebrity mark the way to Singapore, where it's nothing but heartbreak on the Philimination mat. |
2002.12.04 2002.12.14 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| 3-9 Recap |
Everything Flo's downhill from here
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?! - Wow, Flo is annoying. Annoying in the gorge, annoying on the car train, annoying with the goats, annoying with the bike, and mind-bendingly annoying on the trip to the steamship. How is she not eliminated? |
2002.12.04 2002.12.11 |
B+ |
Miss Alli |
| 3-8 Recap |
Zach and Jill went up the hill
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down! - And so did everybody else. There's a big waterfall, a complex Detour involving money and trees, a difficult Roadblock involving fruit and violence, and a long climb in the Alps. And Ian and Teri? Still suck. |
2002.11.27 2002.12.01 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 3-7 Recap |
Flights of fancy, flats of fate
I'm Supposed To Be Indebted To Her For The Rest Of The Race?! - Mastering the Morocco airports and navigating the Austrian streets are the keys to success this week as the racers tear around Europe. There's bobsledding, there's surfing, and there's sleeping at an inopportune moment. And nothing is more tense than sleeping. |
2002.11.20 2002.11.23 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 3-6 Recap |
Weeping and whaling
I'm A Much Better Liar Than You Are! - Team Aahab takes a powder at the close of this leg that also features horses, digging in the sand, rugs, snails, local corruption, and a jackass who treats his wife like dirt. |
2002.11.13 2002.11.17 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 3-5 Recap |
Don't read 'em and weep
What Happens If I Slip? Am I Just Hanging Off A Cliff? - Flo wigs out on a cliff, Aaron cries by the side of the road, Teri gives Ian some much-needed advice, Gerard offers just the right sweet encouragement, and Michael and Kathy take it a little too easy on the road to Morocco. |
2002.10.30 2002.11.03 |
A |
Miss Alli |
| 3-4 Recap |
These bootings are made for taking a taxi
Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face! - Teams race from Scotland to Portugal, spend a fair amount of time walking, transport alcohol, and confront any dodgeball demons they may be harboring from childhood. |
2002.10.23 2002.10.26 |
A+ |
Miss Alli |
| 3-3 Recap |
Tanks for the memories
You Always Just Forget About Me! - It's Transportation Showcase Week, as airline booking challenges, tandem bikes, charter buses, boats with poles, limousines, tanks, and the ever-present taxis cooperate to get the teams from Cancun to Scotland. Oh, and there is still lots of pointless pettiness to go around. |
2002.10.16 2002.10.21 |
A+ |
Miss Alli |