Episode Report Card Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suboceanic Homesick Blues
By Daniel | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.13.2009
o Derek's driving with Jesse, and the two of them are having a sullen-off in the truck, just staring out the window. He asks if she's going to say anything. She thanks him, curtly, for bailing her out, since she knows he doesn't like police stations. "Maybe that's because I'm a fugitive," he points out, and she's all, "I said 'thanks'!" and she won't tell him what happened other than she got in a fight. "With four naval aviators," he says. "Really just three. One of them went down pretty quick," she says. He asks what's going on and she says "Nothing." He doesn't believe her, but that's all she's going to say.We flash back (forward) through the white screen into the submarine known as the U.S.S. Jimmy Carter. And somewhere in the depths of that tin can, the sailors on board are all standing around in a circle, and one of them asks Jesse if they've crossed the line yet. "Give it another tick," she says, looking at her watch, and then announces that they've crossed the equator, and everyone cheers. "One nice thing about metal driving the boat, a schedule's a schedule," says some dude. And another nice thing is that they don't take your damn yogurt out of the break room fridge like some co-workers I know.
So anyway, there's some guy lying on the floor on his back in the centre of the circle, and he's all oily and greasy, and this burly guy standing next to Jesse hands her a proclamation that she unrolls and reads: "Know ye that sonar man second class Christopher Garvin on the 13th day of September, 2027, aboard U.S.S. Jimmy Carter appeared at the equator at latitude zero, longitude 180, entering into our royal domain. And having been inspected and found worthy by my royal staff was initiated into the solemn mysteries of the ancient Order of the Deep. I command my subjects to honour and respect him as one of our trusty shellbacks." And then they pull up the newest shellback, and everyone is hugging each other, and this isn't some futuristic resistance ceremony thing but is a real thing that happens to commemorate the first time a sailor crosses the equator, which I was not aware of until know. Thank you, Sarah Connor Chronicles, for teaching me something other than "be wary of your cyborg bodyguard."
Anyway, then the submarine is rocked by some kind of explosion that might be a depth charge, and Jesse orders everyone to general quarters and everyone scatters.
In Catherine Weaver's office, the ginger terminator herself is doing some work while her poor mopey daughter does her best to entertain herself. She asks her mommy to come play hide and seek, but gets a lecture on forebearance and patience and self-control, like what a treat for Savannah on Take Your Phoney Daughter to Work Day. "As opposed to wanting what we want when we want it. Something to think about." And Weaver goes back to work, so Savannah wanders off, casting one puffed-lower-lip look back at her "mommy" before heading out into the hall. Then, to her left, a door swings open on its own. Smiling, she walks through out to where the elevators are, and the doors open obligingly and she walks in there too. It's a magical elevator, with the buttons lighting up in pretty patterns, playing "Three Blind Mice," making Savannah giggle. The elevator floor indicator goes down to zero, and the doors open in the basement.
Still smiling, Savannah wanders down the hall, and the lights come on as she needs them, so she makes a game of it, skipping and jumping so the lights turn on. She's having a grand time, which is awful for anyone watching because we're all assuming she's going to be killed now.
Partway down a hall, another door swings open. There's Chrome Artie/John Henry, sitting at a table. He waves hello at her. "Would you like to play hide and seek?" he asks. Oh, my god, that is SO funny. She was just saying to her mom that she wanted to play hide and seek! She walks into the room, and the door swings shut behind her.
So after a commercial break, we see Ellison sitting at his desk having his lunch, because, you know, Ellison is so busy doing whatever it is that he supposedly does for Weaver that he can't get away from his desk even for lunch, and Weaver strolls in to calmly tell him that Savannah is missing. "She's in the building, Mr. Ellison. You just have to find her." He says the building has twenty-three storeys and it doesn't seem to register that HE'S more concerned about Savannah missing than Weaver is, and Weaver says there's someone who knows what's happening on all floors.
So they go to see John Henry, who admits to having seen Savannah: "She wanted to play a game." So where is she? She's hiding, says John Henry. Ellison orders John Henry to tell them where she is. "That's not how the game works," says John Henry, scoldingly, and then explains that if they guess what he's thinking, he'll give them a clue. Ellison tries again to get John Henry to tell them where Savannah is, but John Henry ignores this, closes his eyes and says, "I'm thinking of a country." Ellison's all, huh? And Henry looks to Weaver, who RATHER SUSPICIOUSLY is ENJOYING this, and she wants to play the game, and John Henry smiles, and Ellison snaps that he's not going to bargain with a computer. "If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Ellison, we've got no choice," says Weaver, who really ought to think about looking a little less excited about this and more concerned for her daughter.
Elsewhere, Derek is bandaging up Jesse's knuckles and chiding her for punching the guy in the mouth, because one time when he and Kyle were kids they saw two "tunnel trolls" fight over a can of stewed tomatoes. Ew! Anyway, the loser lost three teeth and the winner got the tomatoes and also a blood infection and died a week later. That's why he's giving her antibiotics too. Well, that and the syphilis.
Derek's cellphone rings, and he's all beep-boop and is surprised by what he's being told, and then says, "Damn," and then, "John OK?" He tells Sarah, presumably, to hold tight, that he's on his way.
He hangs up and tells Jesse that John's girlfriend is dead. Jesse somehow manages not to blurt out "I totally didn't do it." Derek tells her "the cyborg" did it. Jesse asks if he knows that for sure. "Who else could it be?" he asks, because nobody ever gets murdered. She asks what he's going to do about it: "Because you can't kill her, Derek," she says, really surprising him. "He has to make that decision on his own," she continues. Derek stares at her thoughtfully for a moment. "You've really thought this through," he says. She says no, but she does think about it: "Just like you do."
So back on the sub now, in the engine room, Jesse gets a report of more depth charges but no damage. "They want us to make a mistake. Reveal our position," says the terminator captain, played by the guy who played Cutty on The Wire. The newest trusty shellback, Garvin, gets on the sonar and has a look at all the blips. "We gotta Kraken," says Garvin. Jesse asks if he's sure, and then tells him to feed the sonar picture to tactical. She has a look at the diagram on some kind of display. "You're a big fella, aren't ya. And very far from home," she says. Then she studies the sonar map again. "That can't be right. Where are we?" she says, mostly to herself. Meanwhile, Queeg asks for a torpedo report. They've only got three. "Ready tube one, hold for my order." he says.
Another depth charge rocks the sub, and Jesse tells him they can't fight a Kraken with only one or even three torpedoes, that they need to break contact and find a way around. But Queeg ignores her to tell Garvin to turn on the sonar: "One ping only." The sonar reveals there's a torpedo on its way, so Queeg tells the chief to put a thirty-second fuse on the torpedo and to have it match their speed and bearing after breakaway. He's unsure, but Jesse tells him to go ahead, so he does so.
And Queeg hammers on the controls, sending the sub diving to, he tells them, 728 metres. "Crush depth!" she says. "To the edge of crush depth," clarifies Queeg, explaining that the Kraken won't be able to follow, and t