Episode Report Card Daniel: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bang, Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
By Daniel | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.06.2009
u," she says. Anyone else, you mean.So Sarah's over at Riley's place, chatting with the foster father, who is all bad-ass sneaking some pop out of his "private stash" because his bitch wife won't buy the stuff with caffeine or sugar or whatever. And Sarah gets right into it: "Must have been a shock, what happened to Riley." FF says it was, and asks what John said about it. "Getting anything out of that boy's like pulling teeth," says Sarah, but she lets on that Riley seemed upset that day, and had a bruise, which surprises FF. And Sarah starts in with this routine: "I'm a patient person, but I swear, there've been times. Kids, they know how to push your buttons..." she says, and I'm kind of surprised FF didn't ask if she was wearing a wire, the way she's all, "I'm just saying, if someone lost their temper, no biggie, it happens," and FF is quite offended and says what happened was that Riley assaulted his wife. "Started yelling about the world burning up. Bleached skulls or some such nonsense," he says. "She said that?" says Sarah, when a better response might be "She said what?" And FF is lamenting John and Riley dropping out of school, and the next thing you know, the guidance counselor shows up at their door. Gasp! Not a guidance counselor! "Even she thinks John's a bad influence," says FF. He says the guidance counselor had a lot to say about Sarah and her family. "I was willing to dismiss it as gossip, until I met you," he says, like an asshole. I mean, unless the gossip was "Sarah Connor likes to clumsily persuade people to confess to beating their foster children," I can't imagine how Sarah's just convinced him she's a bad mother. Sarah asks for the counselor's name. FF gets it for him. "Keep John away from Riley. She's been through enough," he says. Sarah doesn't say anything. Thanks for the sugar and caffeine-fortified soda, douchebag.
John's still working on Cameron's arm, and Cameron keeps looking at him, giving the scene a bit of intimacy. John connects some kind of piston or rod or whatever the hell as he finishes up and tells her to clench her fist. "Do you feel any different?" he asks. Cameron says she does. "Do you feel fixed?" he says. "I don't know," she says. "Well, just try not to kill any more birds," he tells her. Cameron tells him he's "ahead of schedule." With what, he asks. "What you need to learn," she says.
Sarah's sitting at a table outdoors, on the phone with Derek. Or at least we assume it's Derek, but I for one am not convinced because I've gotten so used to the characters doing their beep-boop code thing on the phones. Anyway, she's telling him not to run off like that. It's just her end of the conversation, so we don't get to hear Derek smart off to her. Anyway, she's gotta go, because "Miss Wilson" is here. Only Miss Wilson is actually Jesse with her hair pulled back and wearing lipstick. Sarah doesn't know her, of course. Nor does she know that the so-called guidance counselor, um, pleasured Sarah's brother-in-law in the shower this morning. I hope that doesn't come up in conversation again.
What they do talk about is Sarah's job necessitating that the family moves around a lot. What's her cover story, anyway? I suppose it's not important, but I can't remember if that's ever been addressed. Anyway, she says it's hard for John to make friends, which is why she was so happy when Riley started coming around. Well, there's a lie and a half! She adds she had no idea Riley was so "troubled." Jesse/Wilson says it's often hard to tell but sometimes in these cases there may be abuse. In Riley's case, she's an orphan out of Riverside. Her parents died in a meth lab fire. Sarah says she talked to Riley's foster dad, who said Wilson had been around to talk to him. Wilson's all, DUH, I'm a guidance counselor, and she tried to kill herself.
Sarah says her main concern is that Riley get some help, as she's actually grown fond of Riley, like I'm surprised Sarah's nose hasn't started growing by this point. Wilson asks if Sarah's the one who took her to the hospital, and Sarah says she wasn't around at the time, and Wilson's all, "let me get out my pen and make a big black mark in the NO ADULT SUPERVISION box on my paper o' judgment here," and Sarah lamely says that John's uncle is around "sometimes," and Wilson's all, "yeah, I know about Unky Derek," which is true in the biblical sense, even, but Wilson's all, John's uncle on his father's side, right? "We're not involved, if that's what you're getting at," says Sarah, and Wilson says she's just trying to "paint a picture." The picture she's trying to paint, apparently, is of some kind of orgy going on at the Connor compound: "Do you think it's wise to have an unattached adult male hanging around a pretty teenage girl who's obviously so desperate for attention?" asks Wilson. Whoa! What kind of shit does Derek get up to with Jesse? Instead of saying, "Thanks, but my brother-in-law isn't going to have sex with his nephew's underage girlfriend," Sarah says, "Did she say something?" And Wilson said if she did, it's confidential, as opposed to all the other stuff Wilson likes to blab out, like meth-head parents dying in a fire and the like.
Sarah says John's just trying to be Riley's friend. He's trying to help her. "Like by taking her to Mexico?" says Wilson. "Yes, by taking her to -- I mean, no! D'oh!" Wilson tells her it's a federal offence to transport a minor across the border without her parents' permission. Sarah, chastened, apologizes and says she'll talk to her son. Wilson says she gets the sense Sarah's just a hard-working single mom trying to make it in this workaday world: "I'm a big believer in keeping your own house in order, so why don't I let you handle this your way? For now," she says. Sarah says she appreciates it. "Consider it done," says Jesse, and they shake on it, and Wilson leaves, because she's going to be late for Derek's afternoon servicing.
Riley examines her scarred wrists in the doctor's office, when Busy Nurse comes by for a perfunctory glance at the wounds. "Keep taking the antibiotics," she says. "That's it?" asks Riley. "Why, is there something else you need, sweetie?" says Busy Nurse, who doesn't even look at Riley, who eventually says "no." "'Cause we really could use the room," says the nurse. Riley stares off into space.
John's tiptapping away on his computer, looking up a restaurant address, he tells Cameron when she comes in. She asks if he's hungry. He says yes, but he's actually looking up a restaurant address for Derek, like did Derek ever hear of the goddamn Yellow Pages? "That Kaliba lawyer he's been tracking, the guy's got a booth reserved there." Cameron tells him it's not an ideal place for this kind of thing; it's underground, and, she says, glancing at the computer screen, "according to this, 'crowded with friendly people.'" Hee! She says it'll be difficult to dispose of a body. John's all "easy, tiger" and tells her Derek's just going to grab the guy and press him for information, so body disposal probably won't be necessary. "It'll be necessary," she says, before saying she'll go make John a sandwich. He asks why. "Because you're hungry," says Cameron. "Why don't we let hungry be my problem," he says, instead of, I don't know, "Thank you, Cameron. I'd love a sandwich." "Sometimes it's nice to have help," she explains. He asks her how her hand's doing. She looks at it, clenches the fingers. "Not a problem," she says. Then John's all, "Aren't you supposed to be really good at self-repair?" he says. Yes, answers Cameron. John gets it: sometimes it's nice to have help. Cameron seems possibly proud that John was able to fix her. But John just grouchily says he's going to make his own sandwich. Have some more CRAB meat, John.
So thank god the Internet was invented so Derek could get his nephew to find this place. Derek sits scowling at the bar nursing a beer while frequently glancing over none-too-surreptitiously at the lawyer. Hey, here comes one of those friendly people we hear about! This woman pours herself into the seat next