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Christmas. New Year's. Friends. Family. Parties. Presents. Togetherness. Love...Fuck all that. Temptation Island 2 is back!
Previously...After fourteen days, Mark L. Walberg tools, the kids find themselves caught in a "confusing spiral of temptation." Isn't that the title of Alanis Morissette's new album? We see Hillary try to eat Edmundo's hand as we learn their affair is over, but now Eddie has picked up with smokin' Linda. (The "smokin'" stands for cigarettes, not her body.) Rossi won the Catherine sweepstakes, and Tommy NYC (who is still alive) and Nikkole finally hooked up. Meanwhile, Tommy Bad Fashion got it on with White Eyeshadow Girl Kristen, and John was getting "close" to Nayla. Shannon wept that she's "petrified." Me too, honey. Then Mark and Kelley rode in on their whores...I mean, "horses." Mark said, "This is heaven. What guy would not want to do this?" Uh, a gay one. (I'm not saying anything.) Then new hos arrived! Rossi was sad. Good.
Island Prettiness. Island Prettiness. A bird. Guys' side. Tommy walks and talks with Katie as Tommy voice-overs about the new hos giving them a "charge." John -- who isn't, I don't think, much liked by anyone on the island -- tells Edmundo that he thinks the four new girls are physically better-looking than the five girl hos they currently have. Oh, I totally disagree.
Now the girl hos eat at the bar and bitch about the new hos. Pink says something, and Katie bitches that she doesn't like new people. I hear you, girlie. Kristen then camera-whores that they've all been through a lot, but when it comes down to it, they're not their men, for the hos to be jealous about. But that won't stop you, huh? Edmundo now camera-talks that he's "jacked" about the new girls arriving.
Meanwhile, the boy hos also bitch. Keebler Tom, obviously, is the most bummed. Next to Rossi. (Ali couldn't care less, I'm sure. He's just lucky to be around and knows it.) Keebler Tom says that the ladies said they don't find three of the new guys attractive, and goes on to say that he's not happy about the new guys. Rossi camera-talks that all the new guys are "cut up" with long hair; he calls them "monsters." Hee. He then says that with Brian, they're "done." Keebler Tom says that Catherine is gonna go for Brian, and now Catherine camera-talks the same thing. She thinks Brian has "it all." (Including, very soon, his dick in her mouth.) Keebler Tom agrees that Brian is awesome. Catherine is "excited." Me too, but for different reasons.
Day 15. Pool. Tool. It's Mark L. Walberg! Oh, how I missed him and his toolish, sad, needy ways. He struts out to no applause and blahs that yesterday they started with nine hos on each side and whittled it down to five. Each of the new hos was picked specifically to be attractive to one of the temptees, and now they're going to introduce themselves.