Requiem for a Hag

S26E08

The tribes merge, thank goodness, giving the Top 12 things to talk about other than how much Corinne and Phillip hate each other. Dawn is finding herself very nervous (i.e. weepy) because this is the point in her original season where Cochran flipped, she didn't do anything about it, and her game was doomed as a result.

As soon as the merged tribe is formed (named Enil Edam by Malcolm, slyly slipping his mom's name -- backwards -- into the game), Corinne bolts directly to Malcolm to bitch about Phillip. Luckily, he's already formed his little Dude Alliance, and Corinne has formed a bond with Michael based on how she demeaningly reduces him to an object on her gay charm bracelet while he kind of laughs nervously as she does so. Malcolm is really itching to get into the driver's seat of this game, so forming a new alliance and flipping on Stealth R Us sounds pretty good to him.

After the return of the Gross Food Immunity Challenge is won (with great, surprised fanfare) by Cochran, it's time for the real strategy to begin. Malcolm and Corinne figure they have a solid 5 (with Eddie, Reynold, and Michael) and that Erik is persuadable. But at 6 people, they want to wait for the tribe to be at 11 members before they make their move. To get to that point, they think they can sell Sherri as an "easy" vote to the Favorites' alliance this week. Except Phillip wants to get rid of a big dog, like Reynold or Eddie. (He also wants to split the vote between those guys, to flush out any idols, which should have been all the opening Corinne needed to stage a 5-4-3 blindside -- without even having to involve, say, Erik -- and vote Phillip out, but she completely fails to recognize the opportunity.) Corinne tries to make her case for Sherri to the group and then tries to sell Dawn on joining the plan to oust Phillip time.

Dawn (with history weighing on her mind) gets nervous about upsetting the applecart and tattles on Corinne to Cochran, who then takes it upon himself and Andrea to save the Favorites' bacon. So they tell Phillip, get Sherri on their side to vote out Corinne, and then send Andrea over to bat her eyes at Erik and tell him to vote for Corinne as well. Later, Malcolm wants Erik to vote for Sherri, and so Erik is the swing vote.

At Tribal, Sherri says flat-out that she doesn't see a scenario where a Fan can win, which sets my Ironic Foreshadowing alarms off at full volume. Reynold, massive preening dummy that he is, basically flat-out reveals that this week's vote will go according to plan but week, they'll flip. Finally, the tribe votes, and although the first five votes are for Sherri, the seven go to Corinne, who had a decent plan, was too blind to see an even better one, and ended up getting felled by DAWN, of all people. Here's hoping she finds plenty of gay men to infantilize at Ponderosa.

Previously: the tribes swapped, leaving not nearly enough buffer zone between Phillip and Corinne for anyone's comfort. Chafing under the thumb of Stealth R Us, Corinne looked at Michael, decided he was a precious little ceramic figurine of homosexuality that she wanted for her very own, and began to make backup plans. This led to conflict when it came to last Tribal Council, where Julia was revealed to have been merely a ghost spotted by the fire one night, and when the tribe spoke her name in unison, she disappeared into thin air. Oh, and at some point after losing the immunity challenge, Phillip informed Cochran that he meant to do that.

Currently: the Bikal tribe returns from TC and takes turns congratulating Michael for not being the Fan they decided to cut loose. Corinne takes credit, in her interview, for making sure Michael stayed around. "I made sure I got The Gay," she says, because she's apparently reeeeeally committed to making this "I love dehumanized stereotypical traits way more than actual people" thing happen. Beyond this wildly offensive BS, I also have to deal with the fact that Corinne looks like Bethenny Frankel from Real Housewives, and I like Bethenny Frankel, but I am also having far too easy a time imagining Bethenny saying this same kind of "I love nothing better than A Gay" stuff, which is really crossing my wires and making me think bummer thoughts. ANYWAY, enough about Corinne and her one-woman, faceless Pride parade. Phillip pulls Corinne and Dawn aside ("like an ADD kid," Corinne interviews) to make sure that they know that losing that immunity challenge was completely on purpose, an ingenious plot he came up with once the challenge had begun. He also manages, in that very Phillip way of his, to make it sound like Corinne was an idiot for not realizing it while it was happening. He's so very much the worst of humanity. In her interview, Corinne's eyes are practically in her interviewer's lap, is how much she's bugging about this happy horseshit. After Phillip leaves them, Corinne and Dawn look at each other and are like, "...Why even is he?" Corinne interviews that this kind of instability, right here, is a prime reason why Phillip needs to go.

After the break, it's the morning, and Bikal takes advantage of some Michael-free time to chat. Corinne opines that none of the Fans besides Michael have a brain, which she knows because ... how? Not saying she's not right, necessarily, but she's flying blind here. Even Phillip manages to say that they won't know until they talk to them firsthand. But Phillip says that once the merge happens, they all have to be "hyper-viligant" [sic] and avoid "one-off" conversations with the Fans, since they'll be looking to make deals. This speaks to Dawn's particular insecurity, as she interviews that it was right at this stage of the game in South Pacific that Cochran turned on their alliance. It doesn't seem like Dawn's obsessing on this because she fears Cochran will flip again, but rather that last time, she knew about it and didn't tell anyone, and it ended up spelling her doom. She's emotional to the point of weepy at the thought of things falling apart again. Dawn's done this a lot this season, the crying, and it's naturally going to rub people the wrong way. It can't help but come across as disingenuous to ruthlessly slash your way through the game and then make a big show of feeling so sad about it afterwards. But I do feel bad for Dawn. I think she's a crier and can't really help that, and I think she comes by her empathy honestly. Part of it, of course, is that she's dealing with both wanting to win and wanting to be liked at the same time, and at some point, the best Survivor players realize that that only happens if you don't beg for it. Anyway. Dawn. She's come too far and needs the money for her family (six kids!) too much to repeat her mistakes of the past. "Last time I let my game go to heck," she says. Oh man. If she really is "playing the mom" here, she's playing it to perfection.

Over at Gota, we don't see quite as much introspection and strategy happening at the moment. Instead, a big boat pulls up with instructions for a merge. The Gota response? Eddie and Erik are like, "DUHHHH, A BOAT!" and Andrea and Brenda are like "EEEE! MERGE!" and everybody dances around like the beautiful idiots they all are. Andrea interviews that she's very happy to go back to her old alliance-mates. She specifically says "Phillip and Cochran and Dawn," so if it wasn't already clear who the power base in this game is, now you have it.

Over at Bikal beach, the arriving Gota tribe is met with enthusiasm. Cochran interviews that the merge is "always my favorite part of the game," like he's experienced it more than exactly once. (Though I suspect he may well he speaking as a viewer, which: agreed.) For her part, Corinne interviews that it's exciting merely to have new people, since by this point you're really sick of speaking to the same handful of people. Which: 1) What a bitch. But 2) Kinda, yeah. So we go through the usual merge process: new buffs (an electric lime green), new tribe name (Enil Edam, which Malcolm convinces the tribe means "new beginning," but which is really just his mother's name, Madeline, backwards), whole big basket of food.

Phillip makes a point to pull Andrea aside and re-affirm their alliance (once again, affirming that it's these two, Dawn, and Cochran). Phillip, sounding as reasonable as he has all season, says their first targets have to be the "powerful men" from the Fans -- Eddie and Reynold. He says that if Corinne is going to make a move to defect to the Fans side, she won't do it too soon, so they need to cut off her options, essentially. It's good strategy. Meanwhile, Andrea interviews that with an 8-4 Favorites advantage, she's not really sweating this particular vote. Though she does allow that this is the stage when people start getting hungrier and will make moves, so it doesn't seem like she's entirely blind to intrigue.

Speaking of intrigue, Corinne has wasted no time in pulling Malcolm aside and letting him know just how incredibly eager she is to get rid of Phillip. Malcolm lets her know that he's just about finished playing the "passive" game where he hangs at the back of their 6-person alliance, waiting to make a move. He informs her that he's got Eddie and Reynold in his pocket, and that Erik will, essentially, be easy to bully onto their side. Corinne says she has Michael. So that gives them six, in a twelve-person tribe. Which means making a move right now is tricky. But if the Favorites decide to make Sherri their boot this week, that puts them in a great position to make a move week. Corinne thinks they can easy sell Sherri as an easy, no-fuss boot. Malcolm calls Sherri "weird" and agrees. So that's the plan, then. Corinne is quite correctly smitten by Malcolm and how easy he is to work with in an alliance. After working with Phillip, I imagine even more so. Of their plan, Corinne observes that she's yet to be involved in a blindside in her two seasons on Survivor. She taps her wrist and says, "It's blindside time," at which point I first race to my cable guide to confirm that, yes, that is the title of the episode (not to brag but I am reallllly good at sensing when a line of dialogue is an episode title). And then I start to get very, very nervous for Corinne in this game.

After the break, we get a look at the pretty little tribe flag that apparently Erik painted for Enil Edam. Then, Cochran approaches the tribe with tree mail that is very clearly heralding something we haven't seen on Survivor in quite a while: the Gross Food-Eating Challenge. Reaction to this is mixed. Dawn appears happy enough to do a cabbage-patch. Malcolm and Michael are not so enthused about eating bugs. Eddie frets that it will damage his reputation with the chicks if it gets around that he once ate a pig's anus in the Philippines, exposing the pitiless social politics of dating in Los Angeles for all of America to see. Reynold, at his absolute Reynold-iest, interviews that a bug-eating challenge represents his "one weakness." Argh, Survivor! Exposing the ONE thing in the whole world that Reynold isn't objectively great at! You scoundrel of a television program, you. Cochran, on the other hand, sees promise in a challenge that is not dependent on brawn or athleticism in the slightest. Plus, in regards to Eddie's concern, he thinks a challenge like this could give his reputation a bit of a "wild streak."

At the challenge site, Jeff explains the rules: players will race to finish the designated item, and the first however many to finish will move on to the round. Round 1 is divided into two heats, with the top three finishers in each moving on. Heat 1: Andrea, Sherri, Corinne, Erik, Eddie, and Malcolm. Their introductory "local delicacies" are covered by a cloth dome, and Erik notes that his just moved a little. Heh. It's funny how, in a vacuum, I'm ending up liking people (like Erik; like Cochran) that I previously didn't care for. Anyway, so the first disgusting creature they need to eat: live beetle larvae. Two of 'em. They're fucking HUGE. They're fucking CRUNCHY. Malcolm is very vocally opposed to this whole enterprise, but he's second only to Andrea in terms of wolfing those wretched things down. The final spot appears to come down to Sherri and Eddie, and despite both of them flirting with a heave, Eddie finishes first. Sherri, quite understandably, immediately spits her mouthful out and heads right for the water jug. That's right, people. Don't be a hero.

The second heat pits the remaining six against each other: Reynold, Brenda, Phillip, Michael, Cochran, and Dawn, who already appears to be dry-heaving. They get the same beetle larvae to eat. Here's the thing: I will talk about these people on Survivor all day, but there is no way I could handle one bit of living on these islands. You probably couldn't get me to touch these beetle larvae, much less eat one. Dawn is so nervous that she picks the first bug up before Jeff starts the challenge. Jeff: "Put your food down!" Dawn: "Why?" Malcolm (offscreen): "Aw, don't call it food." Heh. With Dawn sufficiently wrangled, the challenge begins. Cochran is done almost immediately, with Phillip close-ish behind. When it comes down to one last spot is when it gets interesting, because that's when people try to swallow bug that hasn't been properly chewed and that's when Gag Face sets in. Reynold, Brenda, and Dawn almost heave, but it's Michael who finishes in the third spot (once he manages to keep from heaving post-finish). Brenda, like Sherri, spits hers out with a quickness.

By Joe R

Back at camp, we see further evidence that everybody took Cochran's celebratory moment in the spirit it was intended. Even Cochran interviews that he knows he was probably pushing it, and that if it was anybody else, the reaction would have been quite different. But he's little pipsqueaky him, and he'll probably never have that again, so, as we can see, everybody is really happy for him. Malcolm, whose cockiness is just as self-aware as Cochran's obnoxiousness, interviews that it's nice that Cochran got his little win out of the way early, since he's not planning on keeping him around that long.

Later, Malcolm meets with Eddie for a strategy session, which, as you might imagine, translates to Malcolm strategizing solo. He relays the idea of their 6-person alliance with Corinne, Michael, Erik, and Reynold. He says this week is the tricky week, since the numbers are so tight. He then interviews something really wise and an underrated element of strategy on this game, which is that while Malcolm and Corinne certainly seem to have devised a decent plan, there are twelve headstrong people out there, each one of them looking to do their own thing and make a move their way. Not so easy to get even six of those people on the same page, much less the near-unanimous vote for Sherri that they want to happen this week.

up, the Phillip and Corinne Show returns, and this is honestly the lynchpin moment of the episode. Phillip whispers to her that he's thinking of arranging a split vote, dividing the Favorites' votes between Eddie and Reynold, to guard against one of them playing an idol. Corinne immediately shoots down any vote-splitting and instead pitches the idea of the "easy" vote for Sherri. That right there is where Corinne lost. Or at least where Corinne could have won and she let it slip past her, maybe without even realizing it. Phillip splitting the votes was literally the BEST thing that could have happened to her. Suddenly, with the Favorites splitting their votes, Corinne and Malcolm's little ragtag group has the numbers to boot Phillip NOW. Without even having to resort to bullying Erik onto their side (though I suppose you'd want to do that anyway, since you'd still want that six for week). Phillip presented his own head on a platter for Corinne -- and in the most foolproof manner, too, since it was Phillip's own idea, and his alliance-mates don't seem to want to waste the energy convincing Phillip to stray from his plans, since it's no skin off their ass either way -- and she was too focused on countering him to recognize it. You guys, that is a bummer to have to look back and realize what could have been. So, of course, Phillip doesn't want to get rid of Sherri, he wants to get rid of a big dog, because that's what Boston Rob would do. There's no convincing him. Corinne interviews that this obstinate behavior gave her even more resolution to go against Phillip. "If I wasn't already gonna turn," she says, "that sealed my fate." Boy is THAT a telling slip of the tongue.

Later, while Phillip dozes (and blows spit bubbles in his sleep), Corinne makes her case to Andrea, Dawn, and Cochran. They all seem cool enough with the idea of voting Sherri out, but none of them relish countering Phillip to do so. Corinne says they should just bully him into it like he does to them. Which sounds like an amazingly stupid idea guaranteed to fail, but okay. Andrea is particularly good at just nodding along with Corinne even though this really has to be feeding into her idea of Corinne as a dangerous schemer who she wants to eliminate sooner rather than later. Cochran interviews that he's puzzled by how adamant Corinne is that Eddie or Reynold not get votes tonight, but hey, Sherri going home is fine for him too. That's a bit uncharacteristic of Cochran not to twig to something strange about Corinne protecting Eddie and Reynold. What does give Cochran pause is the idea of overriding Phillip's plans without telling him and thus allowing the Corinne/Phillip feud to give the fans ideas about cracks in their alliance.

Corinne later finds time to talk to Eddie and Reynold and further cement their counter-alliance. They are certainly happy with the plan, especially the part where Sherri gets votes out. Reynold interviews that he's into this idea of "overthrowing the tyranny of Lord Phillip of the High Shelter." Man, what a tragedy Reynold is. Cute as heck. Decent little inklings of a funny personality. But the smarm just overwhelms everything, doesn't it? Anyway, the other weird thing is that Corinne thinks that in addition to their six, she can bring Dawn in, because she's "on the outs" and "probably willing" to go with them. I am really not sure where this is coming from, beyond Corinne and Dawn bonding as the Favorites women on Bikal. This seems like Corinne's second big mistake this week, thinking she needs to include Dawn. Maybe she was thinking ahead to wanting an ally down the road to counter the Malcolm/Eddie/Reynold triptych? Lord knows. If someone talks to Corinne, could you ask her? Thanks. Corinne and the boys then engage in a bitch session on the subject of Phillip, which is probably all I would do if I were out there, so I get it. "I want to throat-punch him every day," says Corinne. All this unity has Reynold cautiously optimistic that if the Sherri vote goes as planned, he'll be back in business.

After the break, Corinne decides to put her already-dubious plan to rope in Dawn into effect a week early. She approaches it from the respect angle: Phillip doesn't afford it to anyone, so they should oust him (after they oust Sherri) as a result. If Corinne were a savvier player, she'd notice how Dawn is about ready to shatter into a million little jittering pieces at the thought of flipping the game on its head like this. She's especially freaked when Corinne tells her that she's got all the Fan boys, plus Erik (which: does she?). Even without knowing how much Dawn is obsessing on her original season, Corinne should have still approached this way more gingerly and when she noticed how very much Dawn wasn't into it, she should have backed off.

And, accordingly, Dawn goes right to Cochran and rats Corinne out entirely. Cochran seems utterly surprised (though a shade impressed?) that Corinne has been working her own game this whole time. Which is his own fatal flaw -- he can never quite believe that anyone else is as smart or strategic as he is. It should also be noted that the way Dawn is talking, the Favorites WERE on their way to voting out Sherri, which means Corinne blew it TWICE, first by not taking Phillip's split offer and then by telling Dawn too early. Dawn wants to vote Corinne out now, but doesn't think they have the votes. Right now, it's Cochran, Dawn, Phillip, Andrea, Brenda (they think), and Sherri (they assume). That leaves things at 6-6, a situation nobody wants.

Cochran goes to Andrea and gives her the update. Andrea also seems halfway impressed, but Cochran really underlines how fucked they would be, numbers-wise, if they lose Sherri and Phillip in succession. Andrea seems just as eager for a blindside as Corinne is, but once again it's a matter of numbers. Andrea thinks Erik is "wishy-washy" and persuadable. She then interviews how freaked out it makes her to be relying on Sherri and "even Erik of all people" (ouch) to survive when just hours ago, she was in the driver's seat.

Oh my god, the B-roll of this snake is getting worked to DEATH this episode. Anyway, Andrea gives the update to Phillip (it's really quite something how the Favorites alliance snakes information around without ever having the four of them -- Andrea, Dawn, Cochran, Phillip -- conferencing together) and he of course is thrilled at the idea of voting out Corinne. He delivers a very expected "How dare she try to maneuver against me?" interview, which is part of what makes him the anti-charismatic creature he is. He then goes to Sherri with the offer to vote with them against Corinne. He manages to do so in the most condescending way possible, thus ensuring that while Sherri may indeed vote with them this week, she's never going to be truly loyal to him, because (as she interviews) she can't stand him.

Far more effective in her methods of persuasion is Andrea, with Erik, although I'll admit she's working with a certain natural advantage that Phillip is not. Erik -- in a move that's pretty stealthy for a guy who, as Andrea said earlier, talks strategy with no one and is a complete question mark when it comes to where he stands -- acts like he's asking for Andrea's help straightening the flag but really he's asking her to point to the name on the flag whom she wants him to vote for. She points to Corinne, and Erik is like, "...Okay." Cochran then interviews and echoes Andrea's somewhat condescending annoyance at having to rely on Sherri and "Erik the ice-cream scooper" who has previously proved himself to be "incompetent at the game of Survivor." The worst part (because I do think Erik seems like a very sweet, unassuming guy) is that you can't even refute such a claim, considering he voluntarily surrendered Top 4 in his original season. We then see Malcolm approach Erik with instructions to vote for Sherri. Erik interviews about his two different marching orders, and how he has no idea what's going on. Perhaps a follow-up question or two to one or both of his overlords might've cleared that up. I guess he really just doesn't talk strategy? Is that an approach that could possibly work long-term? (Also, after getting burned the way he did last time, you'd think Erik would be concerned about just blindly doing what other people tell him to do.) Anyway, Erik makes that ill-advised observation many people make on this show, deciding that being the swing vote means he's in a great position, rather than a momentarily great position but in a deep long-term hole. He says he has no idea what way he's going to go.

To tribal! You know I treat Jeff Probst's questions at Tribal the same way I treat Meredith Grey's voice-overs on Grey's Anatomy. It's just a whole lot of blathering, so unless he says something truly interesting, I'm glossing over. What is pertinent is that Corinne says that while it looks bleak for the Fans now, she's the kind of person who will listen if she's approached with an idea. Cochran is asked if that makes him nervous that she's so openly saying this. "That's the nice thing about Corinne," he says, "is that she's so open." This kind of cockiness from Cochran I like. This kind of "You tried to snake me but I'm smarter than you, and I want you to know it before the hammer drops." Reynold does a classically Reynold thing, wherein he makes a smart point ("In an alliance of 8, five of you won't make it to Top 3 because you're at the bottom of your alliance") at a juncture when he totally doesn't need to. Corinne and Malcolm have already made their move. Quit shilling for that '04 Toyota, man. You've made your sale. I guess you could argue that he's making that argument for Erik's benefit, but a) nobody in the Corinne Six knows that Erik is any kind of swing vote tonight, and b) it's lost on Erik anyway, who gives a total non-answer when Jeff directly asks him to consider whether he's at the bottom of his alliance. Andrea says one of the worries inherent with the Favorites is that you know just how good your ostensible allies are at deceiving people. It's a better point than Corinne quoting Mike Tyson's "Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face." The weird thing about Tribal Council is that ever since Probst decided to start seriously meddling in gameplay during these things, the only smart thing to do is deliver gibberish and circular logic. Honesty and insight will only serve to blow your spot. Sherri I think does a smart thing when she says, "Frankly, I don't think the fans have a shot." Makes it look like she's rolling over, obscures any sense of what her real plans are, and, from a post-production standpoint, is a goldmine for the editors if indeed a Fan ends up winning this season. Finally, Reynold makes another idiotic statement when he declares for all to hear that there has been maneuvering and that, while this TC will probably not be a big shocker, "I think there are some shockers on the way." Idiot.

Voting time! Phillip's vote for Corinne ("You are one of the most selfish people I've ever met in my life") and Corinne's vote for Sherri ("Unfortunately for you I wasn't looking for applications for new friends") really underline how much you wouldn't want to know either of them in real life. We also see Andrea vote for Corinne and Michael vote for Sherri. Erik is of course shown voting last. When Jeff reads them back, he does that thing he often does in close votes where he reads every single vote for one person (in this case, five straight votes for Sherri) before reading all the rest for the eliminated contestant. I talked about this with my friend Brian from the Guatemala season, because I think it's a total giveaway (because if it is an 11-1 vote, Jeff will always read that dissenting vote first or second), but he says that purely for the benefit of the Survivors at TC, it's scary as hell in practice. Anyway, after five Sherri votes, the first one for Corinne makes Corinne stop smiling. At the second one, she narrows her eyes. The third one has her looking around at the others' faces. Fourth vote, her hands cover her mouth (Malcolm does the same). The editing in this sequence is sublime. A stray vote for "Carin " gives Corinne some hope that the votes have been split (JK, that's obvs for Corinne too). Now her head's in her hands. This is rough to watch. It's funny, because I objective do not like Corinne. Didn't like her before, don't like her now, think she comes across as a genuinely bad person. But I really liked the idea of a massive power shift -- especially one at Phillip's expense -- and I'm super bummed to see it go down like this. But I do believe I've made the case that Corinne did this to herself (my pal Stephen Fischbach made the case far more succinctly than I did). By the time we get to the sixth and seventh votes for Corinne, everybody knows it's happening, though Dawn winces in anticipation. And of course the seventh vote is all graphic-designery and accompanied by an exclamation point, so obviously that's Erik's. Phillip manages a sneer as Corinne gets up, thwarted and completely crushed. Jeff Probst is obviously sporting his usual wood for blindsides, because somewhere along the line, he got the idea that most Survivor eliminations come with engraved invitations weeks beforehand.

By Joe R

So! Where does this leave us? Phillip, Andrea, Dawn, and Cochran are more solidly in power than ever, with Brenda, Erik, and I guess now Sherri as their pocket votes. It remains to be seen how much blowback Malcolm receives and whether he can successfully paint Corinne as a lone-wolf saboteur. Reynold and Eddie SEEM fucked, but Reynold (and Malcolm, it should be noted) still have idols to play, so at the very least they should go down swinging. It would really hate to be Michael right about now, I'll say that at least.

Scenes from week: Eddie's flirtation with Andrea is supposed to make us think that he's got renewed life in the game. And Malcolm appears to be headed towards the same mistakes Corinne made, as he approaches Dawn about (presumably) flipping on the Favorites.

Joe R appreciates you bearing with him. He only gets one of these recaps a year, and he has a lot to say. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.