Brandon starts feeling guilty for leaving his family home alone, and tells his tribe that, if they have to go to Tribal Council, he's volunteering to be voted out. Then he admits that he contemplated burning down their shelter and peeing in their beans and rice. Then, the morning, Brandon decides that he's going to stay and play hard for his family. Oh, Lord.
Reward Challenge. Two team members each hold a net up using a rope while the other team tosses coconuts into the nets. The team with the last net in the air wins. Phillip and Brandon hold the Favorites nets while Reynold, Eddie, Sherri, and toss coconuts. Meanwhile, Michael and Matt hold nets for the Fans, while Malcolm, Corinne, Brenda, and Cochran toss coconuts. Probst flat-out tells Sherri that she's worthless in this challenge, and she kind of is, but it's not like her tribe got to sit anyone out. Brandon is the first to drop his net, and Matt follows. So it's Phillip and Michael left, but they're taking all of the coconuts. Phillip holds out until Michael drops his net, so the Favorites win the barbecue reward.
After the challenge, everyone on the Fans tribe starts searching for the Hidden Immunity Idol and Reynold finds it again. Meanwhile, over at the Favorites, Phillip pokes the bear when Brandon takes offense to the idea that Phillip won the challenge. They have a dustup. Later, Phillip basically threatens Brandon into compliance, and Brandon goes along. Until the morning, when Brandon decides he's still pissed at Phillip. So then Phillip starts thinking about throwing the challenge.
Brandon gets wind of the fact that Phillip is talking to the others about getting rid of him and he goes on a tirade. He dumps out their entire container of rice and tries to dump some more food before the others stop him. He yells at Phillip, who has wisely removed himself from the situation. The rest of the tribe wonders if they should just skip the challenge and get rid of Brandon.
At the Immunity Challenge, Brandon gives a speech about how the Fans shouldn't let Phillip win the game. Corinne says that they want to forfeit the challenge so they can go to Tribal Council. Probst invites Brandon to come stand by him and figure this out and Brandon goes on a rant about how Phillip is the worst (but times ten). Phillip responds and Andrea starts crying. Brandon and Phillip get into it again because they are both mentally ill and should not be on this show. Yeah, I said it. This isn't fun to watch, it's not interesting, and I'm grossed out, frankly.
Probst finally takes control of the situation, something he should have done like ten minutes earlier. Then he does an immediate vote, and everyone votes Brandon out. You'd think they would have just removed him when he trashed the camp, but I guess that would have been humanitarian and respectful instead of exploitative and trashy. I feel dirty.
Immediately after Tribal, the guys on the Fans tribe all agree that they made the right move in getting rid of Laura and this could be the turning point for their tribe. Reynold and Eddie are obviously like, "It was awesome!" Sherri isn't so sure, but she goes along to get along. Reynold says that he hopes getting rid of the Idol will mean better tribe unity. Yeah, I'm sure that will happen. Reynold interviews that he decided to use the Idol so that he could speak his mind at Tribal and tell everyone that they're worthless and the tribe needs him for challenges. Did he say all that? Also, did he forget that, even though he stayed, they may very well be back at Tribal again before a merge? Speaking your mind on this show seems like a terrible idea. That's what the bitter jury questions are all about -- that's when you get to finally speak your mind. That's why they're all so bitter.
They all discuss how -- now that the Idol has been played -- it will be put back into circulation first thing in the morning. They all joke about how the first person to wake up will have an advantage. Michael interviews that Reynold is great at challenges and he's handy around camp, so Reynold getting the Idol again would be one advantage too many.
That same night, the Favorites are hanging out around the campfire, talking. Well, Brandon is talking and everyone else is wishing Brandon would stop talking. Mostly about how much he loves and misses his family. Brandon interviews that he started thinking about his wife and kids and how he left them at home to play a game, and he feels like he's being selfish. Brandon tells the others that his kids don't know what's going on other than that he's gone. Which are valid concerns, but it's not like he hasn't done this before. Unlike the first-timers, he knew exactly what he was getting into. Anyway, Brandon tells everyone that he's volunteering to be voted out of the game if they go to Tribal. He says this like he's doing everyone a favor, but Malcolm interviews that Brandon might want to think about how his actions affect the others before making proclamations to the entire tribe. I don't really get why Malcolm is so upset. I guess he's counting on Brandon's vote post-merge?
Brandon goes on to tell everyone that he thought about setting the shelter on fire and peeing in the beans and rice. What do you say to that? That it's okay to have thoughts that you keep inside your head and save for yourself? Everyone is just like, "I'm glad you didn't... question mark?" Brandon says he's sorry, but doesn't seem to realize what a freaking bizarre idea that was. Did he think everyone would say, "Hey, I've had that same thought!" No one has. No one had that thought, Brandon. You need help. Corinne interviews that hearing Brandon's thoughts makes her want to get rid of him immediately, because Brandon is "spinning out of control" and they don't know what he'll do. Agreed.
Early the morning, Brandon asks everyone to gather around and says that he's had a change in perspective and he's decided that instead of leaving for his family, he's going to stay for his family. I was going to put something here where I tried to understand or explain his thought process, but I just can't. He's mentally ill. He makes zero sense and you can't understand why he thinks the way he does. It makes me sad, but it must be really frustrating to be on his tribe. After he told them he was going to leave and the scary thoughts that he's confessed to having, I'm sure some of them were relieved. And now he's like, "Psych! I'm staying!" I would be done with it. I wouldn't even engage him anymore. Don't stick your hand in the crazy, as they say. Brandon giggles in an interview that he's going to be more intense than ever and he doesn't know WHAT he'll do. That's what I'm worried about.
Reward Challenge. Two tribe members will use a rope and pulley to hold up nets while the members of the other tribe will toss coconuts into the nets. The last tribe with a net still in the air wins reward, which is a barbecue feast. Brandon and Phillip are holding up the nets for the Favorites, and Michael and Matt are holding the nets for the Fans. Why not Eddie? I don't understand. When Sherri goes to toss a coconut into Phillip's net, Phillip yells out "Kunta Kinte" and she drops it. The sound editors have a good time with her few shots, tossing in the "marble hitting a wok" sound effect whenever she misses. Most of her coconuts seem to hit the rim and bounce back and Probst yells out, "Sherri is useless in this challenge." What the fuck, Probst? Who asked you? Would it kill you to say something like, "Sherri, struggling to make a basket." How many baskets has Cochran made? God, he's the worst.
Brandon is the first to let go, and he stares at his empty hands as if he can't believe how they betrayed him. Shortly thereafter, the rope slides through Matt's hands and he drops his net. Now that each tribe only has one net to concentrate on, the weight comes fast and furious. Phillip pulls his rope back and Probst says something about how he's struggling to hang on. Phillip retorts, "No struggle here, baby." Michael starts shaking, which is a bad sign, and it looks like either his hands got rope burn or they're cramping up as he can't even put them on the rope anymore. That's not good for his tribe; he drops the rope and the Fans lose. The Favorites come and collect their booty as the Fans head back to camp empty-handed. So much for their "get rid of Laura and we'll win every challenge" theory.
Once they're back at camp, the Fans are all despondent. Eddie interviews that he thought they would be able to turn things around, and it didn't happen. Michael tells the others that they need to try something new at camp and in the challenges, because what they're doing isn't working. Sherri interviews that their big theory about muscle helping them win challenges is obviously not working and she hopes her fellow alliance-members realize that. Plus, the Idol is back in play and it's out in the jungle somewhere.
And that kicks off the Great Idol Hunt of 2013. Sherri, Michael, Matt and Reynold are all shown poking around in the jungle. I don't know if Julia and Eddie didn't look or they were just too boring to show. It makes me nervous when they poke their hands into those hidey-holes. I'm always sure someone is going to come out with a comically giant red finger -- like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon -- due to a hidden animal that bit it when poked.
Michael interviews that he really wants to have the Idol, because he'd feel so much safer with it in his pocket, and then he adds that the ONLY thing he doesn't want is for Reynold to find it. Oh, sweet irony. The shot is Reynold finding the Idol. I'm not even kidding. He totally found it twice and we all know that Reynold isn't THAT smart. I realize it's more exciting when there's an Idol in play, but the producers could at least make it mildly challenging. They shouldn't be able to find it within an hour of looking, I feel.
Anyway, Reynold celebrates in a whisper-shout to the camera and he's a little too cocky for my taste. I notice that he's not wearing his tight pants anymore, so I guess he learned his lesson. Anyway, Reynold claims that he's not going to tell anyone about his find, because last time he did, it got flushed out. Well, he didn't tell people. Laura busted him because of his tight pants. Reynold heads back to the shelter and tells Eddie that he found the Idol. So much for not blabbing. They vow to go to the end together. Eddie interviews that Reynold is really lucky. Well, he also went and looked for it, which Eddie apparently didn't do. You make your own luck.
Over at the Favorites camp, they are grilling up the steaks they won, but Brandon is listless and broody. Andrea interviews that she can tell something's up with him and she doesn't know that even winning the million dollars would get him "right in his head." Agreed. They rehash the challenge and someone compliments Brandon on being "a rock." Phillip starts babbling about how he was yelling to distract them like he does in basketball. Brandon interviews that he's really pissed that Phillip is taking credit for winning the challenge. Well, he... kind of did. I mean, he shouldn't take credit because its bad form, but he did win the challenge for them. Phillip says something to Brandon about how the challenge wasn't about upper body strength; I don't know what he was saying but it seemed like he was trying to imply that Brandon shouldn't feel bad that he let go of the rope first. Brandon, of course, does not take it that way. So he decides to pick a fight.
Brenda asks Phillip if they should rebuild the shelter or something and Phillip says he wants to save his energy for challenges. Brandon mutters, "She was just making a suggestion, Phillip." First of all, Brenda can stick up for herself and second, she asked Phillip what he wanted to do. That's how you know Brandon is picking a fight. Phillip is pretty calm and says he's not going to argue with Brandon, but Brandon keeps picking at him, so Phillip leaves the shelter and starts chopping wood. Corinne interviews that Brandon is unpredictable and Malcolm interviews that Brandon snapped and at some point he's going to be more of a drain on the camp than he is useful. I'd say that point was... five seconds after they landed on the beach. Like ten seconds later, Brandon asks the others if he should apologize to Phillip and everyone is like, "NOOOO! Leave him alone for a bit."
Phillip, clearly aggravated, interviews that Brandon's a punk and he wants Brandon out of the game immediately and if the others disagree, Phillip is going to change the game. Brandon is so crazy that sometimes I forget that Phillip is crazy too -- mostly because Phillip is annoying-but-harmless crazy, while Brandon is might-stab-you-in-your-sleep crazy. Phillip and Brandon talk on the beach. Phillip basically tells Brandon, "You should be grateful because I will make sure you get further in the game than you did last time." Brandon wonders why Phillip gets to make that decision and thinks he should determine his own fate. Phillip just shakes his head no.
Here's what Brandon is either too dumb or too crazy to understand: everyone else is just humoring Phillip. They're letting him think he's controlling the game because it's easier than arguing with him and they'll dump him at the first opportunity, unless they think he'd make a good goat. I don't know why Brandon is taking Phillip's craziness to heart, but he is. Isn't this basically the same thing Phillip said to Erik? Brandon interviews that he kissed Phillip's butt and now he needs to keep himself in check or there'll be problems. Brandon apologizes to Phillip and they return to the game, but Phillip interviews that as far as he's concerned, Brandon is "persona non grata" (ding ding ding episode title!) and he's going to get rid of Brandon at the first opportunity.
The morning and it's still raining. Have I mentioned how much the Fans' shelter sucks? It's awful. I mean, it's barely a shelter. The Favorites can all sit inside their shelter and they have a tarp. The Fans can only lie down in their shelter and the roof doesn't appear to keep the rain out very well. As a result, Matt's feet are messed up. I mean, they look like a dead person's feet. Michael tries to talk everyone into trying to make things better. He interviews that things are hellish, but they can't just sit there and hope that things get better because it won't happen. As Eddie tries to move some branches around, it starts pouring even harder. The tribe huddles in the shelter and just wishes for something good to happen.
Over at the Favorites' camp, they have their fire inside their shelter, which must make for a toasty sleeping environment. Brandon starts the fire. He interviews (actually he yells... so maybe it's a yellterview?) that the rivalry with Phillip is getting to him, and Brandon is the only one on the tribe who can start a fire with flint. (Seriously? I bet the others could, but it's easier to let Brandon do it. I'm pretty sure Malcolm can start a fire) Anyway, Brandon gets scary and aggressive as he yells at the camera that he's not going to let some old man tell HIM how he's going to play this game. I just typed a whole thing about how Brandon should handle this situation but you know what? I'm done with this guy. He needs help. It's not worth trying to explain how he could improve his game because it all boils down to: stop being crazy. And that ain't happening while he's on the island.
Cochran arrives with Tree Mail and reads it to his tribe. Man, we haven't seen Tree Mail in a while. Remember when they used to show every one? Anyway, Phillip interviews that they need to get rid of Brandon because he's dangerous and could harm one of them, and while he wouldn't usually consider throwing a challenge, he's considering it now. Meanwhile, Brandon is just killing ants that are running over a bamboo pole.
Andrea asks Phillip what happens if they lose today and Phillip says that Brandon has to go. Andrea asks if he's going to throw the challenge and Phillip says he's that desperate. And then Brandon walks up behind them and Phillip gets annoyed and says he can't even have a private conversation anymore and stomps away. Andrea starts talking to Brandon, who says he apologized to Phillip and doesn't know what else to do. Andrea says that she doesn't like where this is going, and Brandon asks if Phillip is going to throw the challenge. Andrea does a pretty good job of denying that it's gotten that far, but adds that if they lose the challenge, they're going to "have issues."
Brandon and Andrea stand there awkwardly and then Brandon interviews that he's starting to "boil a little bit" and he lists off all of the things he does for the tribe, like win challenges and take care of camp. He still doesn't get -- after playing this game once -- that none of that matters in terms of staying on the tribe. I mean, it helps. But what matters is building an alliance with people you can trust or at least control. Brandon asks to talk to Phillip alone and says that he thought they "squashed" their beef, but now Andrea's saying that Phillip is thinking of voting Brandon out. Well, Andrea didn't EXACTLY say that. Anyway, Phillip says he's not happy with the way Brandon's been sharing information and he doesn't know if he can trust him as a member of Stealth R Us. Brandon asks him to drop the silly spy games, not because they're silly, but because they're "demeaning." Phillip says it's fun, but Brandon says that no one likes it and no one likes Phillip. Phillip actually has a very rational response to that: "Well, then they'll vote me out."
I don't know what kind of response Brandon was hoping for there, but that wasn't it, so he announces that he's going to give everyone a reason to vote him out. He returns to the shelter and dumps out the giant urn of rice as everyone yells at him to stop. Then he grabs the beans and tries to dump them out. Erik gets to him, but can't stop him; I don't think anyone else wants to physically get in his way.
Meanwhile, Phillip just walks away down the beach, not wanting to get involved, which might be the smartest thing he's ever done. Brandon yells, "With your Stealth R Us bullshit! Come on, bitch! I thought you were a secret agent, come get some!" and knocks down one of their lounge chairs. Everyone else scrambles to pick up the rice as best they can. Most of the tribe members look scared. Dawn, who is such a mom, tries to tell Brandon to take some time and calm down, but he keeps pacing around and then raises his arms and yells, "I'm the author of my fate. I'm the author of my fate!" The rest of the tribe continues to clean up and Corinne asks if they should just forfeit the challenge and go directly to Tribal as Brandon paces alone on the beach. Dawn interviews that they're actually considering giving up immunity, which you never do in this game, but they don't know if Brandon can control himself and stay a part of the game any more.
This is where I think the producers should have intervened. Brandon is obviously out of control. His tribemates are rightfully frightened for their personal and physical safety. He has tried and tried to pick a fight with Phillip, who's not the most stable person to begin with, but he's handled it fairly well. The tribe should not have to make this decision. The producers should cancel the challenge and remove Brandon from the game. I mean, would you want to be in the camp for a few hours with Brandon and the machete? Not knowing what might set him off? Fuck that noise.
Both tribes show up for the Immunity Challenge. Probst asks Reynold how the long, rainy night affected their attitudes and Reynold gives a rambling answer about how the Favorites tribe has all the reward bling, but they still have to put up with the shitty weather, so it's an equalizer. Probst asks Cochran how fatigue is affecting their morale, and Cochran says flatly that it makes everyone grumpy and it's not good for anyone. The Favorites tribe is clearly just over Brandon, and he doesn't look too happy either. Their facial expressions and body language speak volumes.
Probst asks Brandon how he's doing, and Brandon says not well and that he had an outburst with Phillip this morning. Brandon wants to talk to the other tribe. He steps off the mat and tells the Fans that he's giving them an opportunity today, and begs them to use it to prevent Phillip from winning. Is he joining the other tribe? Can he just switch tribes like that? I don't think the game works that way.
Reynold asks where Brandon is going. Corinne asks to speak and gives an obviously rehearsed speech about how they're going to forfeit the challenge so they can go to Tribal. Brandon starts yelling that Corinne's speech is bullshit and that the Fans deserve a chance to play, because they're underdogs like him. So what does he want? He wants them to earn immunity? Because they're underdogs?
Probst asks Brandon to come stand by him (probably so he can grab and restrain Brandon if he makes a move on someone, since Brandon is getting more and more agitated). Brandon goes on a tear about how Phillip has made an alliance and talks about himself as if he's the greatest when in reality, Boston Rob is the only reason he made it to the end last time. I mean, Brandon's not wrong but I seriously think his eyes turned completely black by the end of that rant and he was screaming and cursing. It's scary. Even if the producers didn't see the point of removing Brandon after he vandalized the camp, now is the time for them to do so. Or at the very least, Probst should clear the set, have the two tribes go elsewhere and talk to Brandon alone, off camera. And then talk to the Favorites tribe off-camera to find out if they feel unsafe or threatened. Letting Brandon go off like this is exploitative. I don't enjoy watching someone's mental breakdown. This isn't entertainment.
Probst, I guess, tries to get Brandon to calm down by explaining that verbal arguments and the like are part of Survivor and Brandon should be used to that. Brandon says that he had a really rough time after he was on the show the first time, so he didn't want to come on the show again just to be played for a fool, and he calloused himself so he wouldn't be affected by people who only cared about themselves. Again, I think Brandon has a fundamental misunderstanding of what this show is about, much like Russell did. It's why I don't enjoy watching them play. Look, I can handle watching people I think are dipshits or assholes. But I don't enjoy watching people who are trying to make Survivor into something it's not. For Russell and Brandon, it seems to be a test of your manhood. For Russell, you win by making everyone else look dumb. He never got that the final step is getting those people to vote for you. For Brandon, you win by... I don't know, making friends? Providing for people? Creating a new community? And he never got that only one person can win the game, which means that if you win, eventually you've voted off just about every one of your friends.
Okay, Brandon had his say. Time to vote, right? Nope. Probst wants to drag out the drama so he asks Phillip for his side of things. No one cares about Phillip's side of things, Probst. Wrap this up. Anyway, Phillip says Brandon begged to be in their alliance even after trying to vote out Andrea. At this, Andrea starts sobbing and says that she and Brandon have become really close. I don't blame her for the crying; it's been a really stressful and exhausting few days for their tribe.
When Probst asks, Andrea says that they've been so unified as a tribe and it's been difficult to watch two people fight. Phillip retorts that he hasn't done any name-calling and Andrea gets frustrated and says that Brandon has. Brandon and Phillip immediately start yelling at one another about nonsense. I mean, honestly, does it matter who's right and who's wrong at this point? The inmates are running the asylum. As Brandon starts taking steps toward Phillip, Probst puts his arm around Brandon's shoulders and pulls him back, then asks him to look at him. Brandon says he will avoid getting physical for Probst, who appreciates it. Maybe Probst could return the favor and, I don't know, remove him from the equation?
Probst notices that Dawn is doing some major yoga breathing and asks what's up. Dawn says this whole thing is too stressful and it's taking her out of the game, and she's there to play the game. Brandon wants to share his thought process. As if he has a process. Anyway, he apparently thought that if the Fans weren't eating, the Favorites shouldn't either, so he dumped all the rice and beans. Yeah, I'm so sure that was his reasoning. It wasn't at all petty and spiteful because he was pissed that his tribe was voting him out. That's a nice origin story Brandon has retconned, but I'm not buying it. Corinne tries to respond but they've obviously agreed not to bother responding to Brandon's diatribes as Dawn grabs her hand and Malcolm says quietly, "Corinne" and she shuts up.
I should probably mention how the Fans are reacting to this information dump/carnival sideshow. Reynold, at the beginning, looked fairly delighted and entertained since I'm sure they imagined that everything was peachy with the Favorites. Sherri looks concerned and curious. Everyone else is somewhere in between.
Probst asks Brandon if this behavior is "in the blood" because God forbid he not mention Russell, who can die in a fire as far as I'm concerned. Brandon says he's proud that the Hantzes speak their minds. Phillip says he never had any bad feelings towards Brandon and he doesn't know where this is coming from, and it's all in Brandon's mind. Phillip needs to shut up. Brandon says so. Phillip makes it personal and starts talking about Russell and Brandon's kids, which is a huge mistake. Brandon hears "kids" and flips out, and Probst grabs Brandon's shoulders and gives him a shoulder rub, mostly just to contain him, I guess.
Probst finally comes to his senses and takes over. He makes Erik give the Immunity Idol to the Fans. Reynold -- clearly unable to read the room -- asks Probst if he can throw his hands up and announce that the Fans have won Immunity. Everyone's like, "Simmer down, Reynold." Dawn looks like she's about to puke.
Probst says they're going to vote now. Brandon votes for Phillip. Everyone else votes for Brandon. This is such horseshit. For someone who talks so much about the integrity of the game and whatnot, Probst shouldn't have let the Fans see the vote and they shouldn't have had to vote out loud, look Brandon in the eyes and say his name. I mean, the outcome would have been the same regardless, but this could have been handled a lot better. Probst continues to massage Brandon's shoulders as he says that he's voted out.
Probst says that he loves Brandon, but he's not going back to camp. He instructs Brandon to walk around the back of the challenge and then he'll come and find him. Brandon walks out and keeps talking. He tells the Fans to "kick their ass" and then calls out, "Phillip, you're a bitch!" I hope security tasered him five seconds later. Probst says the game just got a lot more interesting and Erik says that was a long time coming. Dawn says she's not sure if the tribe is better off, but she thinks Brandon is.
Probst tells the Fans that this could be a game changer for them and they may not love how they got immunity, but they got it and they don't have to go to Tribal. Ugh. I'm just glad Brandon's gone. I think it's completely irresponsible of the producers to have cast him again in the first place. I don't care if he passed the psych exam. Even if he's mentally healthy, he is obviously an angry and violent little man, and he shouldn't be playing this game. It made me sad to watch. I hope he gets whatever help he needs and never comes back.
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