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Another week, another player threatening to quit the show. This time, it's Dan. He doesn't quit, which is too bad for Yve, because she's in line to go and it's a double elimination night. Awesomely, Jill and Holly end up winning immunity, then face off against each other for a reward feast to be eaten in front of the other tribe at that night's Tribal Council. Jill just edges Holly out for the victory, and now Brenda has to figure out who to get rid of, since Jill has immunity and Marty will almost definitely play his idol. You'd think they'd go for Jane, but it turns out that Brenda likes and trusts her more than she does Kelly B., and assigns her minions to split their votes, 3 and 3 for her and Marty. At Tribal, despite all signs pointing to his ouster, Marty does not play the idol, and it ends up in a tie between him and Kelly B. On the re-vote, everyone votes for Kelly B. (except Kelly B.), and she is gone. Meanwhile, it's down to Dan or Yve at Espada. In trying to defend her usefulness to the young people, Yve basically gives them every reason to get rid of her, and out she goes.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's morning at Espada, and Dan is so cold and tired that he loses his mind and talks to Holly. Spotting storm clouds on the horizon, he says he might quit. "What are you talking about?" Holly asks after a minute of staring at him. "Calling it quits," he says. "You can't just quit," Holly says, grabbing his arm. She interviews that she almost quit this game herself ten days ago, but stuck it out and so feels qualified to judge others for wanting to quit. "You signed up for something. Suck it up and finish!" she says. After the credits, the Espada beach still looks like crap. Holly and Yve collect firewood, giving Yve a chance to ask Holly why she and Dan didn't tell her they were voting for Tyrone. Holly says they didn't know if they could trust Yve not to tell Tyrone, since she had an alliance with him. "No. No, I didn't," Yve says. I don't think anyone had an alliance with Tyrone. He seemed to vote however he wanted and figured he was too important to get rid of. Also, Yve has lost way too much weight. She's starting to look like the guy on the posters for that Megamind movie. Scary! Yve tells Holly she thought they were looking out for each other in this game, but obviously Holly didn't feel the same way. Which is a good thing for Yve, because Holly once said she had Wendy's back and then she voted her out. Holly proposes that they be "more open and honest," starting with informing Yve that Dan wants to quit. Yve says she'll try to work with that information to keep herself in the game.
It's also raining at La Flor, but they're much happier with their tarp and nice warm fire, as tended by Jill and Marty, who seem to think the lazy young people appreciate their hard work ethic that keeps them comfortable at camp. Jill interviews that the young people sleep all the time and have a strong bond with each other, so her position in the tribe is very precarious. While Marty attempts to bond with Jud with a condescending "good morning," Brenda interviews that Jane has gotten into La Flor's good graces because she's a "good helper." Brenda does not have the same opinion of Marty and Jill, and has already planned to split the votes three and three for them at the Tribal Council in order to get rid of either Marty or Jill and flush out Marty's immunity idol. But the fact that she's telling us this so early in the show tells me that this will not happen.
Probst welcomes the tribes to their challenge, and La Flor is quite pleased to see Tyrone gone. "Awesome for us," Marty says. Ugh, and this is not going to be a reward challenge, but for immunity. At eight minutes in? We are in for a lot of talking tonight. Probst says they are not playing for tribal immunity this time, but for one of two individual immunity necklaces, which I think the prop department bought at a post-Mardi Gras sale at the party store. Probst says that no matter what happens, both tribes will be going to Tribal Council tonight to vote someone out, because that's always very fair. What's the point of keeping your tribe strong to win challenges if you end up going to Tribal Council no matter what? Probst explains the challenge: contestants must dig around in a sand pit with an oar for three rings, then use the oar to toss the rings in the air and catch them in a basket they're wearing on their butts for maximum silliness. First person to get all three rings wins immunity, and one winner from each tribe will face off against each other for reward in a thrilling ring toss. First person to get three rings on the pegboard wins chicken and beef kabobs, to be eaten in front of the other tribe at their Tribal Council. Ugh, so cruel. I hate it when they do that.
Espada's members race for immunity first. Shockingly, Dan appears to be the first to uncover a ring, but then he is unable to transfer it to his basket. Holly and Alina quickly dig up their rings, and Holly is the first to get hers in the basket, quickly followed by Alina and Yve. This challenge appears to favor women, but I'm not sure how. Ben is getting his first ring back to the start when Holly bags her second. YES! HOLLY IS A CHALLENGE MONSTER!!! Now when she makes it to the merge, she will dominate in the challenges and her crazy ass will stay in the game for a long time to come! Alina and Ben get their second rings in while Probst makes sure to point out to everyone how much Dan sucks for not being able to get his ring in the basket. Meanwhile, NaOnka doesn't even have a ring yet, but Probst isn't going to talk shit about her because he knows she'll beat him up. Alina and Holly come up with their final rings, but Holly gets hers in the basket and back to the start first, winning immunity. Probst awards her with a necklace with a giant cutlass on it, because immunity necklaces always have to be lined with sharp objects. This also means that for as long as Holly has that necklace, she is technically armed and dangerous. Watch out, shoes.
La Flor is . Brenda and Sash quickly get their first rings, as both are very good at catching things with their asses. Jud, Marty, Jill, and Kelly B. follow. Jane also manages to get one ring, while that other Kelly is not able to catch hers. Why is that Kelly still here, by the way? They didn't even include her in Brenda's alliance in the previously on segment and she hasn't had one interview in like six episodes. They might as well just finish the job and edit her out completely. Marty, Kelly B., and Jill follow up with another ring each, and if Jill wins this I will be so happy. Unless it means Jane gets voted out. Then I will be very sad. Jill uncovers her third ring, but misses the toss into the ass-basket, giving Kelly B. a chance to win. But she, too, misses the basket, and Jill's second toss is good, giving her the win as well as totally (and predictably) ruining Brenda's carefully laid-out plans.
And now, two awesome older women face off for kabobs. Holly is the first to get a ring on the board, only for Jill to answer with two rings in consecutive throws. Holly ties it up, but Jill is able to land the third ring first, much to Holly's sadness. La Flor rushes out to embrace Jill, even though they also mostly hate her and are upset that she won immunity.
La Flor returns to camp, all smiles and looking forward to eating kabobs. Jill thanks Brenda for picking her to be in La Flor, even though Jill would probably much rather have been on Espada where she had a chance at being in a majority alliance and Brenda would rather that Jill's arms fell off in mid-challenge so that she couldn't win immunity. The tribe does a team cheer, and Brenda immediately interviews that it was totally fake on everyone's part and now she has to figure out what to do after Jill's immunity win. Now they'll have to split the votes between Marty and someone they didn't want to vote out yet. Sash and Brenda discuss this on the beach, and Sash says he thinks they should target Kelly B., but tell her they're voting for Jane.
Brenda agrees with this completely. Either Jane is just that awesome that they'd rather keep her around than an original member of the tribe, or Kelly B. and her lack of leg are just that horrible. Brenda interviews that Kelly B. was never in her little alliance and she tried to take Brenda out in the beginning, so why not get rid of her? Brenda also says some stuff about fearing that Kelly B. will win a million dollars based on her fake leg alone, but that was obviously chopped together from several different interviews, so who knows what she really said. Brenda tells Kelly B. the plan to vote for Marty and Jane, and Kelly B. interviews that she doesn't want Jane to go, but they don't have a choice. And she's not going to consider the fact that they may actually have a choice and it's her. Even though she acknowledges that she's "on the outs" with the rest of the La Flor. She thinks laying low is the best plan for her. It's also the most boring for us. !
Brenda tries to add some suspense by saying that a lot could still go wrong with her plan. For instance, Jud is unpredictable in his stupidity. After a shot of an adorable baby monkey, Marty pulls Jud aside to tell him a secret: he is a grandmaster at chess. Jud takes him at his word and is sufficiently impressed, saying he knows the name of one chess great. It's Bobby Fischer, the one everyone knows, but still -- this is Jud. I'm amazed he didn't respond by asking Marty if he's talking about black-and-white checkers. Marty tells Jud that he beat Argentinean grandmaster Guillermo Vilas twice when he just a child. Knowing that, Marty hopes Jud will be much more receptive to joining up with him. "I'm taking orders, bro," Jud says.
Marty says he has "the biggest move in Survivor" all laid out for Jud if he wants to make it. He then interviews that he's not a grandmaster at all, and neither is Guillermo Vilas, who was actually a tennis great back in the '70s before Jud was even born. Jud is totally convinced that Marty is telling the truth, and says as much in an interview with You Are Stupid music playing in the background, like anyone else wouldn't have believed Marty. I probably would have. Why not? It would be awesome to have a chess grandmaster on this show. Marty tells Jud he wants to go to the Final Three with "someone like" him, and he can get Jill and Jane to vote with them, giving them "four solid people" and allowing them to "run the show." Even though there are eight people in the tribe, so having four would not be a majority. Also, Jane's vote is in no way secure. Even Jud has to realize that.
The mood at Espada is typically down. Holly is bummed about losing the reward challenge. But she knows she's safe tonight, so she's going to vote for whoever the young people decide, be it Dan or Yve. She takes a walk with Dan, who says he's getting "exhausted with this stuff," then complains about his poor living conditions in an interview, where he tells us that he's already rich and so doesn't need to play this game for the money. Hey, can we please stop casting rich people? Their not needing the money only makes it that much more likely that they'll quit and/or play this game in a nice and boring manner because they'd rather be voted out than look bad on TV by scheming to stay in the game. Dan tells Holly that, despite his earlier threats, he is not going to quit.
Ben and Chase discuss the matter over the campfire. Ben wants to vote Yve out because she's a much more dangerous player than Dan. He says the decision is a "no-brainer," which is a good thing since the ex-La Florians don't really have much by way of brains. Chase agrees with Ben that they need to stick together, but interviews that he only really trusts NaOnka out of their alliance of four. Why NaOnka? Didn't he say like two weeks ago that he wasn't close to her and didn't like the idea of her having an immunity idol? He talks to NaOnka on the beach, making a case to keep Yve over Dan because she's better in challenges and he doesn't trust Dan not to talk Ben into blindsiding Chase. Yeah, because that Dan is such a schemer. NaOnka interviews that she agrees that Dan should be voted out tonight, if only because they need to win challenges and his knees are "about to crack." "Sooner or later, he's about to walking on nubs," she says. Ha! Poor NaOnka; she managed to get off the tribe with one hated amputee, only to be placed on a tribe with someone in imminent danger of becoming a double-amputee.
Yve knows what's up and that it's between her and Dan tonight. To try to convince the young people to keep her around, she talks to NaOnka and Alina and makes her case, saying that Dan wants to quit and she is no quitter. Plus, she knows the other three old people now on La Flor "more intimately" than Dan or Holly, which will be useful when the merge happens. Alina says they're definitely getting rid of weak Dan tonight, and the meeting adjourns. But Alina then interviews that Yve's good relationships with the ex-Espada members is just one more reason to get rid of her ASAP, since she's more of a risk to flip back onto their side when the merge happens. Wow, way to talk yourself out of the game there, Yve.
We see a sloth lounging in a tree and then cut to a shot of Dan lying in the shelter. Very subtle, editors. Holly meets with the young people to discuss tonight's vote. Holly seems to want to get rid of Dan, but says she'll go with whoever they decide. Chase still doesn't know who to pick. "Do not follow your heart, follow your gut," NaOnka says. I guess she's not going to tell him to follow his head, because he can't because he's an idiot. And so is she. But not as much as Chase. She really wants to keep Yve because Dan is only going to make them lose challenges. But, like Holly, she'll write down the name of whoever her alliance decides.
Crabs scuttle on La Flor beach. In the shelter and with plenty of people (including Kelly B.) around, Brenda mouths "you're safe" to Jane, then pulls her aside to talk about it. Brenda says they want Marty gone. Jane says that's fine with her, and Jill and Marty still believe that she's on their side, even though they have been Jane's "enemies" since the first day of this game. Jane interviews that she is now "as thick as peanut butter and jelly" with La Flor's young people. Is that closer than those ticks she mentioned last week? Meanwhile, Sash pulls Jud aside and tells him the plan to split the votes between Marty and Kelly B. "Do we wanna flush the idol from Marty?" Jud asks. Sash remembers who he's dealing with here and slowly explains that it's not good for the idol to be in enemy hands. And Sash is sure that Marty is smart enough to play the idol tonight, so he won't go home anyway. "I like Marty," Jud says. He interviews that he wants Marty to stay in the game because he's "smart," which is all the more reason to get rid of him. But also, Jud feels like he's in good with Marty. Sash now worries that Jud won't follow their carefully laid-out plans.
Sash tells Marty that the plan tonight is to vote Jane out, and asks if he'll write her name down. Marty says he doesn't want Jane to leave, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to stay in the game himself and just wants the young people to be honest with him. Apparently, that's all it takes to sell Marty on his safety tonight, and he interviews that he's going to refrain from trying to "shake things up" with Jud and just lay low and let Jane get the boot.
He talks this over with Brenda, who interviews that the person going home tonight depends on whether or not Marty plays the idol. If he doesn't, then it'll be a tie between him and Kelly B., and then they'll have to decide who to get rid of, which Brenda tells us is a "tough decision." Except that it isn't, since of course you'd get rid of the guy who isn't in your alliance and has an immunity idol. But Brenda tries to make this suspenseful by saying that if they vote Marty out, then they'll have a "pissed off Kelly B." at camp with them and also her lack of a leg is such a threat to win the million at the end of this game that we aren't even halfway through. She talks to Sash on the beach about Jud's wishy-washiness, and Marty notices them and comments to Jud that he doesn't know why there's so much talking going on when it's obvious that Jane is going home. That's a very good point, but then Marty totally forgets about it and says that he's pretty sure Jane is going home tonight so he might as well hold on to the idol and buy himself one more Tribal Council after this one.
La Flor arrives at Tribal Council. Probst addresses Marty first, saying it's obvious that he, Jill, and Jane don't fit in with the young people. Shut your mouth, Probst. Jane very much does fit in with the young people. Marty says that's true, but hopefully as long as he can help them win and work around camp, he'll get to stick around. Probst asks Sash why they would want to keep Marty, and Sash replies that Marty has an immunity idol, and told them all about it as soon as he arrived at his new home. Marty says he just wanted to get off on the right foot with his new tribe and show them that he's a straightforward and honest player. Probst asks Brenda if those are the only reasons why Marty showed the idol. Brenda says she's sure he did it as a warning to the young people not to try to vote him out, and he's just trying to make it look "more noble" than it actually is. Probst asks Marty if the decision to play the idol tonight is a difficult one, and Marty says it is, and obviously it's been on his mind a lot today. He's not sure if he can trust anyone and doesn't want to go home tonight because he didn't play his idol.
Probst asks Kelly B. how much you can trust people in this game. Kelly B. says people will lie if they have to, so you have to go with your gut instinct. That said, she says she's feeling "pretty comfortable" tonight. Zzzzz. Probst asks Jane which side of the majority alliance she's on, and Jane cleverly says her tribemates probably consider her one of the "weaker" people, strength-wise. She's just going to keep pretending that she's on the outs with Jill and Marty. But when Probst asks Brenda if Jane should be worried tonight, Brenda says that Jane doesn't need to worry about her and her fellow young people -- she should worry about Marty and Jill. Probst is absolutely delighted at this comment, and looks to Marty, who says Brenda's comment doesn't make any sense just based on numbers - he and Jill are only two people, so they can't vote anyone out. But, he says, "that's really sweet of you to put that on me." Brenda says Marty was the one who told her he wanted to vote Jane out tonight, which isn't true and I'm not really sure why Brenda is trying to stir shit up like this when she doesn't really need to. All it's going to do is possibly turn Jane against her if Marty can make a convincing enough argument that Brenda and Sash wanted to vote for her. "La Flor made the call. I didn't make that call," Marty says. He was just going along with what the majority told him to. "I never offered up Jane," he concludes.
Probst asks Marty if he feels more or less comfortable now than he did when he walked in. Duh, Marty says he feels less comfortable and repeats that he never suggested voting Jane out and it would have been "moronic" of him to do that. He's now seeing the duplicitous side of his new tribemates. While Sash and Brenda spend the subsequent awkward pause nodding, Marty mouths "vote Brenda" to Jane. Probst says this seems like a good time to start the vote. Jane does not follow Marty's orders. She votes for him, saying "don't ever fluff off a Southern woman. I ain't no sitting duck, honey." Marty votes for Brenda, calling her a "black widow, King Cobra, and black mamba all rolled into one." Oh, great. Now we'll have shots of those animals preceding every segment with Brenda in it. Brenda votes for Kelly B., who has no idea what's coming.
Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone would like to play his idol. Everyone looks expectantly at Marty, who raises his eyebrows but stays seated. WHAT? Insanity. Why wouldn't he play it? Unless he figured that Brenda was only saying all that stuff about him wanting to get rid of Jane to make him think he was a target and play his idol unnecessarily? I really don't know. He sure seems to regret that decision when he gets three votes right off the bat. Then we have two votes for Brenda, like she cares. And then, much to her surprise, a vote for Kelly B. And then another. And a third. Kelly B. doesn't have much of a reaction to this because she's so boring. That awesome suspenseful music comes up on the background as Probst explains that there will be a re-vote between Marty and Kelly B. And then we go to commercial.
After the break, we vote again. Everyone except Jill is going to vote for Marty, right? If they don't, then he'll stay in the game AND keep the idol. It would make absolutely zero sense to keep him and vote Kelly B. out. Surely Marty knows this, as he's pretty much shitting himself during the re-vote. The first vote is for Marty, who figures he's sunk. Then there's a vote for Kelly B., which probably came from Jill. Oh, but wait a second -- there's another vote for Kelly B. And another. And a fourth! She's out and Marty isn't! What the hell? Why? I do not understand. Nor does Kelly B., who walks numbly up to Probst and watches her torch get snuffed. Marty and Jill exchange headshakes of disbelief. Marty looks over to Jud and Sash, who nod at him. Marty just shakes his head again and looks up to the sky. With that, Probst points the remaining members of La Flor to the jury box, where they'll watch the Tribal Council while eating delicious, delicious food. As they move, Kelly B. doesn't have much to say, just that she really thought the vote was going to be for Jane tonight and doesn't know what she did wrong.
Espada arrives. Probst points out that Kelly B. was just voted out of La Flor, and we get no reaction shot from NaOnka. WHAT THE HELL. They spent weeks showing us interviews with NaOnka saying horrible things about Kelly B., only to deny us her reaction when her sworn enemy is voted out of the game? WHY? Anyway, La Flor dig in to their dinner. NaOnka refuses to even look in their direction, which is wise. I wouldn't look at them and I'd breath through my mouth so I couldn't smell the food, either. But she's not going to get off that easily, as Probst asks Jud for a review of the food, just in case NaOnka didn't know whether or not it was tasty. "It's so good, man. It's so good," Jud says, mouth full. NaOnka is not only annoyed that someone is rubbing her face in this, but also that it's Jud of all people. Heh heh heh. Holly says she'd give up her individual immunity to give her tribe a reward. Probst turns to Dan, saying "you can hear the ice cubes plunking in the glasses." "If it's not a martini, it doesn't bother me," Dan shrugs. Probst asks what does bother Dan. He says nothing does. If it did, he wouldn't be here. Probst asks if it would bother him to be voted out tonight. Dan says that it would.
Probst asks Yve why Dan would say nothing bothers him. Yve says Dan might say nothing bothers him, but that doesn't seem to be true, based on how much he complains at camp and how he nearly quit. Dan denies that he ever wanted to quit, but acknowledges that he does complain. "We need more positive energy and commitment," Yve decides. Probst asks Ben if he agrees that Dan is a liability in challenges. Ben says there are certainly more physical people in the tribe than Dan, but that doesn't make him "incompetent," which I don't think Probst ever said. Anyway, Probst then asks Dan the same question, because he just won't rest until Dan has admitted that he's a burden on the entire tribe and not worthy of being here instead of Jimmy Johnson. Dan says he might be weaker at "certain challenges," but he's still trying. Probst turns back to Yve and asks her "what's wrong" with Dan's "logic," that he'll give everything he has, but sometimes it might not be what they need. Um, a lot of things are wrong with that, Probst, and you know it. Yve says she gives what she has, too, and she's not a liability like Dan is, although she says she "loves the guy." "Really sounds like it," Dan mutters. "..." says the only Kelly left in the game.
Probst asks Dan if he feels "animosity" from Yve. Dan says he does, and he thinks Yve is just trying to save her own skin. Yve admits that's true. Probst asks Dan why they should vote Yve out instead of him, and he starts by saying Yve is "arrogant," which Yve strongly disagrees with, pointing out that she does not talk about her Ferraris, six cars, and three homes. "I do," Dan says. Ha! Something about the matter-of-fact way he said that cracks me up. Yve says that was kind of her point. Probst asks Alina if it's between Dan and Yve tonight. Alina says that's pretty much it, and they have to choose between someone who might cause them to lose challenges and someone who will present them with that much more competition the further along she makes it.
With that, it's time to vote because there's no way Espada's Tribal Council is going to be half as exciting as La Flor's was, so it's best to just get it over with as quickly as possible. Probst sends La Flor away, and Marty gives Dan a "good luck, man," on his way out, which can only serve to make Dan's tribemates want to get rid of him. Or it would if Dan didn't have some kind of magic power to keep himself in this game no matter what. Ben manages to cast his vote without knocking anything over this time. Dan and Yve vote for each other. Probst reads those votes, and then a whole bunch more for Yve, her name spelled correctly in almost all of them. How did they know how to spell that? Someone must have had to ask her. Yve silently brings her torch to Probst and walks away. At one point, she scratches her face and they put a musical sting in there that made me think she flipped everyone off or something, but I guess not. After she's gone, Probst praises Espada for being a "unified tribe" in their vote tonight, even though all they really seem to be are a bunch of followers ready to write down whatever name someone else tells them to.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.
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