Things settle down a bit at La Flor, although Naonka continues her reign as the least likeable person in reality show history and is very much in the running for least likeable person ever. Her hatred of Kelly B.'s fake leg continues unabated, culminating in a physical wrestling match between Naonka and Kelly B. for another hidden idol clue. Naonka winds up with it, but it doesn't do her any good, because she's dumb and can't figure it out, anyway. Nor does she need it tonight, as Espada loses another challenge under Jimmy Johnson's leadership. Marty and Jimmy T. try to use this as an excuse to rally the others into voting Jimmy Johnson off. Actually, it's Jill who does all of this stuff, but she's very much behind the scenes and happy to let Marty believe it's all him. She even convinces him to reveal the idol to the tribe, saying it'll be good for morale for people to believe they can trust that Marty will do the right thing by them. He does, and they do, following him by voting for Jimmy Johnson over Dan.
La Flor returns to camp, all abuzz over their last Tribal Council. Everyone agrees that voting Shannon out was the best move for their tribe, including Jud, who actually voted for Brenda. Alina says she hopes they can finally unite as a team now, which is definitely something you say when you're suddenly on the wrong side of a majority alliance. NaOnka is disgusted by everyone putting on a friendly face in order to make life around camp as tension-free and pleasant as possible, calling them "faker than faux fur." NaOnka maintains that they are not one big happy family now, and that Alina, Kelly B., and Jud were in "pure shock" when Shannon was voted out. Oh really? Because Kelly B. actually voted for Shannon. So I don't think she was all that surprised. NaOnka concludes by saying that the other alliance will all be voted out.
It's a new day at Espada, and the tribemates are using the sound of howler monkeys to find food, figuring that where there are howler monkeys, there must also be food. Yeah, gross food. Don't monkeys eat like bugs and stuff? Jimmy Johnson attempts to communicate with the howler monkeys by making howler monkey-like sounds. Dude, I would not mess with those monkeys. There are like twelve of them up there, and they are absolutely capable of tearing your face off. Although, if they're anything like chimpanzees, they won't go your face first - they'll go for the testicles. Just because something is cute and exotic doesn't mean it isn't also a potentially dangerous wild animal. Especially if you go marching in there making noise and stealing its food source. Yve speaks up for what I believe is the first time to tell us that she loves Jimmy Johnson and thinks he's funny and amazing.
Meanwhile, Marty watches from afar, not into Jimmy Johnson at all. Jimmy Johnson namedrops like an asshole, saying that if Terry Bradshaw was here, he'd be able to communicate with the monkeys much better than Jimmy. Great. Let's all look forward to season of Survivor, starring Terry Bradshaw with Probst's lips sewn onto his ass. Marty interviews that he is not happy to have a celebrity on his tribe, nor does he like the way his tribe seems to adore Jimmy Johnson. While Jimmy Johnson catches fish with the women and actually does something useful for the tribe, Marty continues to bitch and moan about what a threat Jimmy Johnson will be if he makes it to the merge.
Marty goes for a walk with Jill to discuss his hatred of Jimmy Johnson. Jill, who is sane and rational, tells him to stop worrying about the future and do everything possible to keep their tribe strong now. To that end, she thinks he should show everyone that he has the idol and say he's planning to use it after the merge to help them. That seems like a bad idea to me, but Marty totally listens to her because he knows that she is actually brilliant and he only thinks he is.
Oh, and then we watched a volcano for like ten minutes.
Back to La Flor! Jud blows on their fire and gets a face full of smoke, then stands up looking more out of it than usual. He says he feels "spaced out" and "tingly." How is Jud still not able to start that fire without getting a face full of smoke? I don't recall this kind of thing happening to anyone else with such regularity. His tribemates laugh and enjoy Jud's stupidity, and he interviews that part of his strategy in this game is to make people laugh, but "it goes deeper" than that. Just as he's about to explain what the deeper part is, he gets pinched by a hermit crab. Wow, it's kind of amazing that people like Jud are real. He continues, hermit-crab-free, that he wants to be kept around for his "mentality" and his "spirit." "Whatever you wanna call it," he says, obviously unable to figure out what, exactly, you should call whatever he's talking about. Can we please stop casting people who have never watched this show before now? I mean, Jud doesn't even realize that this isn't a popularity contest. He thinks people will keep him around because he's funny and has a good spirit or whatever. The fact that NaOnka is still there more than proves that this is wrong. Speaking of NaOnka, she has yet another pleasant interview where she says she can't stand Jud and hated him since the first time she saw him. "His hair got on my nerves!" she says. Also, she continues, he's stupid. And while nothing she's said so far is wrong, she still manages to say it in such a hateful and obnoxious way that you want to disagree with her just because.
Let's head back to Espada. It's raining there, and I'll bet they wish they chose that tarp over the fishing supplies now. The tribe eats, and Marty says he has an announcement. Cut to Jill smiling knowingly and sitting back to watch what she basically engineered unfold. Marty holds up his idol, and everyone starts applauding him for some reason. He says he's planning to use it after the merge to strengthen their tribe's position, and Jimmy T. immediately comes forward saying that this will really help them all out and his hat is off to Marty. He leads the group in a second round of applause. Wow, I guess Jill was right. She can read these people like a book. Which isn't easy since they're all insane.
Jimmy T. interviews that he really thinks Marty is a nice guy with the best interests of the tribe at heart for telling them about the idol. Hey, are Jimmy T.'s teeth real? They're either dentures or those giant veneers, right? Something about them just doesn't look right, and it's becoming distracting. Jill speaks up to say that if they merge with five people on each tribe, then Marty's idol will really give them an advantage. Way to ignore the possibility that the other tribe has its own idol, Jill. Or maybe Jill's just figuring that the people on La Flor are all too stupid to figure out the clue. Which, come to think of it, is probably correct. Jill interviews that everyone in the tribe loves Marty now, which she thinks will help her. Tyrone, meanwhile, interviews that he thinks Marty only showed everyone the idol to score points and will still only use it for himself. "Marty's shady," he says. And you know he's right about that when Jimmy T., who is crazy, not particularly intelligent, and a poor judge of character, says that Marty sacrificed something that could help him individually to help the entire tribe. Marty then interviews that he had to reveal the idol because people were going to figure out he had it anyway, plus now he gets to look like he revealed it on purpose. Way to act like that was all your idea and not Jill's, Marty. Although I have a feeling that Jill set this up so well that Marty truly thinks that he and he alone figured out the clue, found the idol, and decided to show it to the tribe.
After the break, we're forced to endure a shot of Jimmy T. sans pants. Aw, Jimmy T. Really? You didn't think it was important to wear boxer briefs on Survivor? You really thought tighty whiteys were the right idea here? He praises Jane's ability to dry people's clothing over the fire. Jane, please, please be careful here. Do NOT set Jimmy T.'s pants on fire. I don't want to watch an entire season of this guy with no pants on. Thank you. Meanwhile, Dan is having problems. He interviews that he's not sleeping or eating well and that he's worried that his tribe has noticed and thinks he's the weak link. He says he's not, despite his obvious scar from knee surgery, and that while he may not be as strong as Tyrone, he is "as strong as any one of the women. Even though some of them are built like mooses." And yes, he did say "mooses." That's hilarious, although I'm not sure who he's talking about. Maybe Jill? I guess she's a bit broad, but I still wouldn't say she's built like a moose. Yve, who I think we can all safely assume Dan was not talking about unless he's confusing fake boobs for antlers, says that Dan is physically struggling.
The minority majority alliance meets on the beach to discuss who they should vote off : Alina or Kelly B. I guess they're keeping Jud around because he's strong and Ben around because everyone seems to have forgotten that he was in the other alliance? Or maybe they forgot he even exists, like I mostly have. Alina, meanwhile, is sitting nearby and appears to be listening to them, which she has become quite good at. They seem to think that Alina is a bigger threat than Kelly B. and so should go . NaOnka interviews that she wants to vote Alina out to "send a shockwave to Kelly B. That's what you get, bitches!" Who is she even talking about here? Who are the bitches? Why would Kelly B. be shocked if Alina went home anyway? She knows she's in the wrong alliance and that it's just a matter of time unless something changes.
Anyway, the tribes arrive at the challenge. Various members of Espada are shocked to see Shannon out of La Flor, who arrive without their usual fanfare. Does that mean Shannon was the one choreographing all those moves? Probst takes the immunity idol away from Jimmy Johnson, which means that this is yet another reward/immunity challenge combo. Boooo! I hope they're paying the challenge team half as much for half the work. Probst explains the challenge: there are ten barrels for each tribe in a field. Tribemates must collect them and roll them onto platforms, which one tribe member at a time will have to throw sandbags onto. The first tribe to get a sandbag on all barrels wins immunity and a reward of fruit, herbs, sauces, and spices, which both tribes seem to want desperately.
And, of course, we have the stupid Medallion to deal with, and Probst says that if the young tribe chooses to use it, they'll only have to fetch and throw sandbags on eight barrels. La Flor confer quickly before deciding not to use the Medallion. Ha! Probst is so pissed. Now La Flor is just going to keep the Medallion every single challenge and never use it just so that Espada won't get it and have a chance to win. And the Medallion will be rendered totally useless. Probst gives the tribes some strategy time, and we actually get to see them using it, which is unusual. I guess they're just trying to get as much mileage out of Jimmy Johnson as possible before he gets the boot (spoiler alert!). He assigns certain barrels to certain tribemembers and says Tyrone will be the first person to throw sandbags. Very exciting.
Probst calls go, and there is much barrel-rolling. La Flor gets all ten barrels back first, but Espada isn't far behind. When it comes time to actually pick the barrels up and place them on the platforms, though, Espada struggles. Especially Dan, who appears to just be wandering around getting in the way. La Flor maintains its lead going into the sandbag toss, with Ben going first as their tosser. He gets a barrel on his very first throw, as does Tyrone now throwing for Espada. Tyrone gets two more, while Ben gets one and then starts missing. Chase takes over for Ben, but has no luck. Meanwhile, Espada now has five to La Flor's two. But Ben comes back out and gets a few more for La Flor, bringing it to six for Espada and five for La Flor. Tyrone keeps missing, and Jimmy T. mutters that he wants a chance to throw some sandbags, but he is ignored.
Suddenly, Ben gets three more and La Flor is ahead 8 to 6. As Tyrone misses again, Jimmy T. asks him to step down and give someone else a chance. "Be quiet," Tyrone says. Ben gets a ninth barrel. "You're wasting me back here, you're wasting me," Jimmy T. says to Jimmy Johnson, somehow blaming him for Tyrone's throwing abilities and refusal to acknowledge defeat. Tyrone finally gets a seventh barrel, and only then does he allow Jimmy T. a chance to throw. Jimmy Johnson tells Tyrone to "get ready to go back in," which must fill Jimmy T. with confidence. By the way, Jimmy T. is pretty good at this, landing an eighth barrel for Espada on what appears to be his first throw. He nearly gets a ninth, but it rolls off. And then Ben lands their tenth and final bag and La Flor wins. They run out and celebrate Ben's heroic feat of basically winning the challenge for them, and I think he's happy and relieved? Not sure. Ben either looks pained or I don't see him at all.
Probst sends La Flor off to collect their reward, but there will be no slo-mo walk of shame just yet -- NaOnka and Kelly B. pick up the basket of fruit to carry together. They both spot the hidden immunity idol clue hidden in there, and they both know the other one saw it. NaOnka says Kelly B. must have been very upset that NaOnka of all people saw the clue because NaOnka seems to think that Kelly B. hates her as much as NaOnka hates Kelly B., which I don't think she does. In fact, I don't think Kelly B. thinks about NaOnka much at all. Anyway, NaOnka says her plan is to go for the clue as soon as they get back to camp. Why not now? That would be pretty awesome, if NaOnka just suddenly threw down the fruit basket and lunged for the clue in front of everyone, including Probst. They finally leave, and Espada's slo-mo walk of shame is done in silence.
It's a very tense walk back to camp for NaOnka and Kelly B., each waiting for the other one to make a move for the clue. And yet, when the move finally does happen, the fucking cameramen are too busy following Alina and, like, a pepper tree to catch it. BOOOOO, cameramen! I hope they learned a valuable lesson from this, which is to never take the camera off NaOnka, because you never, ever know what she'll do or when. Anyway, when the camera does get to Kelly B. and NaOnka, they're well into their struggle for the clue, wrestling for dominance over the fruit basket. The rest of their tribemates have no idea what the hell just happened, and say "whoa whoa whoa!" and "what are you doing?" and "what is that about?" Can you imagine what that must have been like for them? Like, one minute you're walking back to camp all happy that you have fruit and no Tribal Council, and the , NaOnka is throwing down with the girl with one leg on top of your fruit basket. That must have been so bizarre.
NaOnka emerges with the clue (and let's face it -- if Kelly B. had managed to get the clue, NaOnka would have clubbed her with one of those honeydew melons and then ripped her leg off while snatching the clue away from her. And she would have done it happily, because NaOnka has just been waiting for any excuse to do that. So it's best that Kelly B. didn't get the clue). "Sorry about squishing your bananas," she says to the tribe. I don't think she's the least bit sorry, though. She interviews that she was going to do anything and everything necessary to get that clue, which represents "one million dollars" to her. I don't know. I think she'd have a better chance to win if she hadn't beaten Kelly B. up to get the clue. She can only use the idol once; but that display she just put on is going to be on everyone's minds at every Tribal Council. Or at least, it should.
Meanwhile, the tribe must explain what just happened and why to clueless Jud, who still fails to see why someone would smush their bananas for an idol clue. Kelly B., of course, is quick to assume the role of the wronged victim so as to make NaOnka look as horrible as possible. What was so great about this was that the producers also clearly hate NaOnka, and on the CBS site there are clips of interviews about what just happened with titles like "NaOnka is out of control" and "NaOnka is crazy." Like, they are not even trying to show us any of her good qualities, which I have to assume she has at least one of. They also pose her in her interviews in really unflattering ways. I love it. Kelly B. says that NaOnka "pummeled" her in order to get the clue, and then went off by herself afterwards, presumably to look for the idol.
This certainly does suck for Kelly B. and Alina, who were counting on that idol to keep them alive in this game. Why don't they just follow NaOnka, then? Then they can wait for her to find the idol and wrestle with her to try to get it away from her. I know the thought of being near her is not a pleasant one, but you can't just let her wander off and find the idol you desperately need. While the men at camp mutter to themselves about how NaOnka's behavior was unbelievable and "completely uncalled for," NaOnka whips the clue out its hiding spot in her bikini (CLASSY!) and reads it. But instead of telling us about that, she goes off on another rant about Kelly B., saying that she's sure she's making it seem like NaOnka pushed her out of nowhere to the tribemates but she doesn't care. NaOnka says she can and will fight Kelly B. for an immunity idol clue again if necessary, adding that time she'll push Kelly B. so hard that her "damn leg'll fly off." Oh, man. It's like, just when you really think NaOnka can't be any more hateful, she tops herself! I can't wait for week when she strangles a puppy and sets a baby on fire. And then interviews about how they deserved it.
Anyway, NaOnka reads the clue she worked so damn hard for. She takes one look at it and decides it's going to take her "forever" to figure it out. So she goes back into an interview to talk some more about how much she hates Kelly B. She says she got "hood" on her, snapping her finger to really drive the point home. She then educates us on the difference between "getting hood" and "getting ghetto" on someone, saying that if she had become ghetto on Kelly B., then she would have said "girl you know I had to whoop that and I had to get that girl you tripping girl! Uh uh girl!" That definitely clears it up.
NaOnka continues: "it's the game. It is a game. She has one leg. Don't think that I'm gonna be nice to you because you have one leg. I'm not gonna be nice to you, you gotta be kidding. My name is NaOnka, not Fool." Okay, NaOnka. The thing is, physically attacking someone is a little bit more than just "not nice." Also, I don't think Kelly B. is expecting you to be "nice" to her because she has one leg, but perhaps because that's sort of the way you're supposed to behave around people. Although I guess that wouldn't occur to NaOnka, who thinks that people who are nice are fools. Which would be sad if NaOnka wasn't such a horrible person that I am unable to feel sorry for her. Anyway, after all that, NaOnka has no idea what the clue means and shows it to Brenda in the hopes that she might be able to help her. Brenda seems to get more of the clues than NaOnka did, but doesn't come close to solving it. Brenda interviews that she's happy to have this seemingly tight alliance with NaOnka and that the clue didn't fall into the hands of Alina and Kelly B. NaOnka puts it this way: "Alina, she should be shaking like a leaf on one branch. And that's the only leaf there. Hanging on for dear life." Like most things, NaOnka took that way too far. "Shaking like a leaf" would have been acceptable.
Back to the old failures! Jill interviews that losing was "tough to take," as was watching the other tribe go back with all those bananas. I wonder if she would feel better or worse to know that NaOnka squished them. Meanwhile, Jimmy T. doesn't think he's being appreciated and decides to tell his tribe so. "I really feel like I got some talents that are being wasted," he says, then asks Jimmy Johnson to "evaluate" him and see that he has many skills. Jimmy Johnson is just like, "okay? I don't know. Why does this guy think I know any more about coaching a stupid Survivor challenge than he does? Stop talking to me, weirdo." Jimmy T. then interviews that he's being "squelched" by his male tribemates because they resent his obvious leadership skills. At least I think that's what he said? It is not easy to follow this guy's line of reasoning, due to there not being much of it. He thinks if his tribemates knew anything, then they would appoint him to be their leader, but instead they have useless Jimmy Johnson. Meanwhile, Jimmy Johnson just keeps nodding away at whatever Jimmy T. is saying, which we all stopped paying attention to a long time ago. He says he's "always had a high opinion of [him]self" and that somehow everyone on his tribe should know that by now. Jimmy T. concludes that he's "kind of a showboat," but still has value.
Marty finally interrupts him to say that Tyrone did well at first, but then struggled. Tyrone tries to defend himself, saying the barrels got harder to hit as they became further away. Jimmy Johnson interrupts him to say that Tyrone was their "number one" guy, and he replaced him with Jimmy T. "for a few shots" when Tyrone needed a break. Jimmy Johnson, nothing you are saying right now is going to make Jimmy T. feel better. He just told you that he has a ginormous ego. Start stroking it, or be prepared to listen to him ramble on and on for hours. Jimmy T. lectures Tyrone on not being a team player, saying that he had a "long cold streak" and took a while to obey Jimmy Johnson's orders and let Jimmy T. take over.
Tyrone interrupts him to say that he was being a team player by doing what he thought would help the team win. Tyrone interviews that he wanted to win, while some other people seemed to think it was important that everyone have a chance to "touch the ball." I love you, Tyrone, but that's not what they're saying. And your argument would hold more weight if Jimmy T. hadn't made a barrel on his first attempt, thus demonstrating that he, too, was capable of throwing a sandbag and might have even done it better than Tyrone did. Indeed, when Tyrone starts telling his tribe that "this isn't Little League," Jimmy Johnson steps in and says that he thought it was a "good move" to take Tyrone out and put Jimmy T. in. Tyrone says something about how they should have "planned it out better." I think Tyrone's idea of a better plan just has him doing everything because he doesn't trust anyone else on his tribe. Marty interviews that he enjoyed watched things get tense on his tribe and he's looking forward to Tribal Council, when he thinks his tribemates will finally start to play this game.
Marty and Jimmy Johnson talk. I'm not sure what about -- I think Jimmy Johnson is trying to tell Marty how to win this game? As if Marty doesn't think he already knows? Anyway, he soon brings up Dan and how much trouble he seems to be having. Marty agrees, but then interviews that he thinks Jimmy Johnson is "full of it" and he doesn't believe that he's not in this game to win. Thus, he says, he wants to get rid of Jimmy Johnson so that his tribemates will either "shake and crumble" or recognize that Marty is their true leader. Yes, because one thing you definitely want when you're on a tribe of "old" people and the younger tribe has a Medallion and better odds to win is a bunch of tribemates who are shaking and crumbling. Good idea, Marty.
Marty takes a walk with Jill and tells her he wants Jimmy Johnson out. "Whatever. I don't care. Whatever you guys decide is fine," Jill says. Marty would like to see some backbone from her, but she says that as long as Dan, Jimmy Johnson, or Holly go home tonight, she doesn't care, figuring they'll all go eventually and it's just up to Marty to figure out the order. Marty says he thinks Jimmy Johnson is much more of a threat than Holly or Dan and therefore should be the first to go. Why is he arguing with Jill? She said she'd vote for Jimmy Johnson. Drop it already! "You just come to me and tell me what to do," Jill says. Yes, let Marty think he's the one telling you what to do, Jill. Stroke his ego. And when he least suspects it, CRUSH HIM! Jill interviews that she doesn't really agree with Marty that Jimmy Johnson is especially dangerous and would actually rather see Dan go tonight because he's the weakest, but she'll go along with whatever Marty wants. "You're the puppet master," she tells him.
Marty then goes up to Dan to convince him to vote out Jimmy Johnson. "Can you imagine what your friends in Manhattan would say when you've blind-sided Jimmy Johnson?" is his argument. First of all, Dan told us he's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn is not Manhattan. Second of all, they'd probably say "that was dumb. Now you stand out as the old rundown guy even more, plus it would have been cool to hang out with Jimmy Johnson for as long as possible." But it seems to work for Dan, who says he's "solid" with Marty and believes he's in much better shape than Jimmy Johnson, which I don't know is necessarily true. Jimmy Johnson is older, but he's been pretty solid in the challenges. Dan, on the other hand, has trouble sitting up.
Marty heads over to Jimmy T. and asks for his thoughts on tonight's vote. "Got any suggestions?" Jimmy T. says. Some leader he is. Marty won't say Jimmy Johnson's name either, but each man knows who the other is talking about. Jimmy T. says he's fine with getting rid of Jimmy Johnson since "he was never a big Jimmy T. fan." Marty interviews: "there's people that are definitely smart..." Cut to a shot of Jimmy T. "... actually, not that many." Ha ha ha! The editors are kind of awesome this season. They hate almost everyone and will stop at nothing to show us why. Marty then says that he's the one with the brilliant strategy, and voting Jimmy Johnson out will "shake the tribe to its core." Now he just has to make sure he has enough tribemates on board with it. He says he has Dan, Jimmy T., and Jill ("she totally defers to me," he says. We'll see.) on his side, but some of the women will be tougher to convince because they seem to adore Jimmy Johnson.
Meanwhile, Holly is her usual paranoid crazy self, talking to Jane about how sure she is that her name is bandied about as the to go. Jane says she hasn't heard anything like that yet and promises to tell Holly if she does. As for Jane, she thinks she'll be voting for Dan tonight. She interviews that she just wants to vote out the weakest player, and she thinks that's Dan. Holly says she'll have Jane's back if Jane has hers. Jane agrees, but hopefully keeps in mind that the last person whose back Holly promised to have is no longer in this game. And that Holly is crazy.
Jimmy Johnson goes fishing with Yve and Holly. He says he's not sure if he'll be in this game much longer. "You're my favorite person here," Yve whines. "We'll see," Jimmy Johnson says. Is he even going to try to stay in this game? This is why we shouldn't cast people who have nothing to gain from being on this show. When it gets really tough out there, there's no incentive for them to stay. Jimmy Johnson interviews that he wants to stay in this game, but he's not doing much to make that happen.
Meanwhile, Marty continues to try to recruit people on the Vote Jimmy Johnson Out train. "Can I count on you?" he asks Tyrone; "for everything." "Sure!" Tyrone says, then backtracks a little; "I mean, what is 'everything?'" When Marty tells him it's voting for Jimmy Johnson tonight, Tyrone isn't so sure. He'd rather see Dan go. He interviews that Marty is all about himself, so he's not going to follow him blindly. He says Jimmy Johnson knows how to lead men, while Dan ... "dude got ailments," Tyrone says. Heh heh, "ailments." Tyrone refuses to commit to Marty's plan, which could hurt him in the end if Marty succeeds, because Marty obviously demands totally allegiance from his followers. Marty says that Tyrone is "not thinking this game through at all." Just because Tyrone isn't thinking your way doesn't mean he isn't thinking, Marty. As Espada heads out to Tribal Council, Marty continues, saying that he needs people who are committed to following his every whim, for only then will he consider them to be "smart" players like himself.
Espada sits down in front of Probst, who asks Marty what happened at the challenge. Marty says they "couldn't pull it through at the end." What is there to say, really? Espada lost because they weren't as good at aiming sandbags at barrels as La Flor was. It wasn't exactly an epic struggle, nor did things really fall apart for them. Probst asks Jimmy T. if people were frustrated about the loss. Of course, Jimmy T. says he was upset with the "lack of playing time" and told Jimmy Johnson so. Probst quotes a John Fogerty song, which I'm sure he's been waiting all season for his chance to do, and Jimmy T. continues that he thinks Jimmy Johnson ultimately did put Jimmy T. up because he had no choice but to recognize how much game Jimmy T. possesses. Wow, Jimmy T. really doesn't seem to care or even think about anyone or anything but himself and how awesome he needs everyone to think he is.
Jill calmly explains that everyone on the tribe is a leader back home, which can make working together as a team difficult, so they defer to Jimmy Johnson because he's "the most accomplished leader" on the tribe. I don't know ... I think an ER doctor is probably more accomplished considering that her leadership decisions save lives, like, every day. Tyrone the fire captain, too. And yet, both of them seem to be secure enough in their abilities to take a backseat and let all the insecure crazy people take over. Probst asks Jimmy Johnson if his "biggest contribution" to his tribe is as the challenge strategist. Jimmy Johnson is quick not to take credit for that, which is a good idea since Espada has a 66% challenge loss rate thus far. He says he catches fish back at camp and gives his all in challenges. Even though Jimmy Johnson just said he's not really the leader, Probst is obsessed with that being Jimmy Johnson's role on this show, and asks Holly to give examples of Jimmy Johnson's mad leadership skills. Holly says Jimmy Johnson calls them together for team meetings and tries to boost their morale.
Probst asks Jimmy T. why he seemed to "light up" when Holly started talking. All I saw Jimmy T. do was raise his eyebrows, but ok. Jimmy T. says he just wanted to hear Holly's answer. Probst doesn't seem to believe him, and asks how he and Jimmy Johnson are getting along. Jimmy T. says he doesn't really know Jimmy Johnson very well, since they haven't ever really sat down and talked. Probst doesn't understand how this could be, saying that Jimmy Johnson's celebrity status alone should have made Jimmy T. want to talk to him. Really? Maybe Jimmy T. isn't a celebrity kiss-ass like you are, Probst. Some people aren't. I was at a Survivor finale party a few years back with Jimmy Johnson and I had no particular desire to talk to him. Jimmy T. says he's a "big football fan" and has Patriots season tickets. Then he starts talking about how Jimmy Johnson might be threatened by Jimmy T.'s own leadership abilities. The rest of the tribe basically laughs at Jimmy T. as he says all of this, Tyrone being the most obvious. Probst calls him out, and Tyrone doesn't really know what to say, as he finds it "baffling" that Jimmy T. could think Jimmy Johnson was threatened by him. Jimmy Johnson says that he is not threatened by the fishing boat captain and thought he had a "great relationship" with him, if not particularly close.
Probst turns back to Jill and asks her if Espada's two losses will weigh on her mind in tonight's vote. Jill says they will, especially since they're up against a young, strong tribe and will need to keep their tribe as strong as possible. "Dan, what about you is strong?" Probst then asks. That was kind of mean. Dan says he's "average" when compared to his tribemates. Probst hates Dan and wants him to go instead of Jimmy Johnson really bad, so he asks Jill if she agrees with him. Jill admits that Dan's age has been showing around camp, so she does worry that he won't be able to give them what they need in a challenge. Probst asks Jane to elaborate on Dan's crappiness. Jane points out that Dan has a scar on his knee from some kind of knee surgery, so that could make it harder for him to move. Dan says he knows he's being watched and evaluated, but he's still willing and able to do whatever the tribes needs, and if not, he'll be voted out.
And we still have some more time to fill, so Probst asks Jimmy T. what camp was like after losing the challenge. Jimmy T. says he thinks the tribe is going to vote to keep itself as strong as possible, as is he, since he's confident that he is one of the strongest people on the tribe. Probst then asks Jimmy T. to name the "weak players." Jimmy T. actually keeps his mouth shut on this one, refusing to name names, but says there are "three or four" people. Probst asks every single person on Espada if he thinks he's a weak player. They all say no except for Jimmy Johnson, who clearly has no desire to play this game any more. Probst asks Tyrone if that makes his decision tonight easy -- vote out the only player who thinks he's a weak link. Tyrone says there are other things to consider, too. Probst asks Marty what his goal is with tonight's vote. Marty says he's hoping that this will "accelerate" the game-playing on his tribe. Why would he want that to happen? He's better off just skating by and easily manipulating his tribe to vote his way, isn't he? Probst points this out, and Marty clarifies that it feels like people are "waiting around" and he just wants the game to "pick up." Ugh, I thought I liked Marty but he might actually be a moron. Except he doesn't know he's a moron -- he thinks he's a strategic genius. So that could be a lot of fun.
Finally, we vote. Jimmy T. votes for Jimmy Johnson, being sure to point out how hurt his feelings were that Jimmy Johnson never listened to all of his wise words. Can you imagine having a conversation with this guy? He must just talk and talk and talk and expect you to sit there and soak all of his amazingness up. How boring. I did like how he ended by saying "go long," though. Jimmy Johnson votes for Dan. The editors again give us a close-up on Dan's knee scar just to make sure we all know what a better choice he is to vote out than their precious Jimmy Johnson, and Probst fetches the urn.
We only saw two votes, so it's pretty safe to assume that it's unanimous for Dan or Jimmy Johnson. Sure enough, Jimmy Johnson gets them all. Probst's heart breaks as he snuffs his torch. Jimmy Johnson looked pissed at being voted out, but he tells his tribe that he still wants one of them to win the million dollars. I think he's probably relieved to go. Probst then lectures the remaining tribe, saying they just voted out a "proven leader" and now someone else will have to step up and fill his shoes. Again, I don't see how Jimmy Johnson is any more of a proven leader than an ER doctor or a fire department captain or even what business thing Marty does or a fishing boat captain. Good for Espada for being less starstruck and celebrity-obsessed than Probst clearly is. And thank you, Jimmy Johnson, for only hogging the camera time in three episodes. Now we'll have that much more time to spend on NaOnka, who appears to be threatening to burn Kelly B.'s leg in a fire week.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.
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