This week's reward challenge winds up rewarding Denise for doing literally nothing, and she chooses Todd and Courtney to take on a trip to the Great Wall. This leaves Amanda back at camp with a highly annoyed Peih-Gee, who has now been turfed out of two consecutive rewards by Denise after taking Denise to the Shaolin Temple. Interestingly, Amanda isn't feeling too fond of Todd, either, particularly after Todd and Courtney manage to return from a feast bitching about what a pain it was to cook their own food at the table. At the feast. At the Great Wall. Where they just had all sorts of food -- in Todd's case, for the second time in a row. Amanda seems like she might be just about done with Todd, but of course, it isn't in Amanda's interests to do anything but go to the finals against Todd and Courtney. While she and Peih-Gee seem to warm to each other, there's not much reason for the kind of strategic shake-up Peih-Gee really needs. Peih-Gee comes within a hair of winning immunity yet again, but Amanda snags it instead. With Denise having already decided to settle for fourth place and everybody else set for an F3 in which they think they have a decent shot at winning, there's no reason for anything special to happen for Peih-Gee, and nothing does. She's voted out, and we're left with the same boring F4 we've known was coming for many weeks: Todd (yawn), Amanda (yawn), Courtney (yawn, except when she's mean), and Denise (double-yawn). Who will win? What's up with the promos suggesting that Sunday's finale will have three tribal councils? Are we really going to be put through the ceremonial nonsense of James receiving a hundred grand for being a terrible player and a big jackass? Oh, that's right -- he's the Rupert. Tune in on Sunday, folks, if you can possibly get yourself to care.
Previously on Blood Is Thicker Than Dirty Water: We revisit James's two-weeks-ago booting, because of its status as the most important thing that's ever happened on Survivor aside from Mike Skupin, Pig-Killer, falling into the fire on his face. Then the real previouslys can begin. The family visits came along with the reward challenge, which was won by Denise and her sock-wearing husband. She took Todd and Amanda and their sisters along for the reward, leaving Peih-Gee bummed out over getting no payback for the Shaolin Temple the week before. The immunity challenge was literally a slog, but a clearly exhausted Peih-Gee pulled it out and earned herself another week of safety. Erik and Peih-Gee tried to get Denise to see the writing on the wall reading, "You Will Get Fourth Place," but she covered her eyes and voted Erik out instead. Thus did things continue prodding along just as they had for weeks, and the fact that Jeff refers to Todd as a "mastermind" is hilarious to me, because: for what? For getting himself out of the James/idols situation he stupidly put himself in to begin with? For sitting here with the same alliance he had at the beginning? What makes Todd a "mastermind," other than that he talks about how great he is all the time? That would make a lot of people masterminds, including Jean-Robert, who couldn't strategize his way through ordering a Frosty at Wendy's. Five people left. Who will go ?
Hae Da Fung, Night 33. Everyone returns to camp in night vision, and Denise recaps for us how she was presented with the opportunity to go to F3 with Peih-Gee and Erik, but she decided to stick with Todd and Amanda, apparently on the theory that, in Imaginary World, where they actually allow her to get to F3, she has a good chance of beating them in a jury vote. You'll want to keep in mind that Denise's entire plan here would call for her to court jury votes based on the notion that she'll be in F3 with Todd and Amanda. It's not like Denise doesn't know at some level how stupid she's being, either, considering that she classifies it as very possibly her biggest mistake in the game. But there you go. She sees what's happening, but she can't quite pull the trigger. I think she's one of those people who would rather go out saying she was betrayed (as she will when Todd and Amanda don't take her to F3) than go out because she tries to make a snake move herself and it doesn't work out. In the shelter, Courtney and Todd agree that Erik is a really, really nice person, but they also agree that this has nothing to do with the game. I'm not sure why we saw that unenlightening exchange, but all right.
Credits. And now, the jury includes Erik. Pretty, pretty Erik. You just were not built for this game, sugar.
Hae Da Fung, Day 34. People snooze in the shelter. A bug skitters away from someone's foot. Peih-Gee, in the robes I think she brought back from the temple, takes a stroll and voices over that she's not "the most popular" of the remaining contestants, and that there are four original Fei Long members and then...her. She interviews that being "the least liked" kind of sucks. She opens the treemail (which isn't in a tree, but is near a statue of a warrior, so...platemail? Har har) and finds, along with the clue, a bundle of arrows. Back at camp, she reads the clue to the group, and it sounds like it's an aiming thing, but also one of those challenges where people knock each other out, perhaps. It also suggests that it is for what the clue-writers are convinced is a very good reward. Todd interviews that rewards are important to keep you going, so he hopes to get the win. They're really burning it up with the interview questions these days: "So, Todd, are you hoping to win a big, juicy reward, or do you kind of not care about eating and drinking?"
Jeff Probst greets the group at a challenge clearing, where he explains that the challenge will involve firing arrows from a replica of a "Chinese repeating crossbow" that looks to me like an inexperienced person would have a very hard time aiming it. You'll fire it at a wall that's a grid of tiles with each person's name. You get a point when anyone -- including you -- hits one of your squares. Whoever has the most points at the end wins. The complication is that how many arrows you get to shoot is determined by your compatriots. Everybody gets five, and you have to distribute your five among the other four people in the game. Jeff explains that the winner of the reward will get to take a private jet to the Great Wall, where they'll have a meal and sleep out. It's not that the Great Wall isn't great or anything, but the rewards this season have seemed kind of unimaginative, like you could get them on Travelocity. Go here, sleep in comfort, eat a meal. Where are the massages of yore?
Arrows are distributed, and everyone opens their container to see how many they got. Peih-Gee receives one, which came from Courtney. "Thank you, Courtney," she says halfheartedly. Jeff tries to give her shit about it, and she makes it clear that she wasn't thinking they were all going to give their arrows to her. Todd gets six, several of which look like they came from Peih-Gee, which is interesting. I think he has three from Peih-Gee, two from Courtney, and one from Denise. Denise has two -- one from Courtney, one from Todd. Jeff comments that Denise only got two. "You know, on the bottom of the totem pole," she says, as if she expects anyone to feel sorry for her. If you're so concerned about it, lady...well, you know. Courtney has a zillion arrows. She has some from everyone, including all of Amanda's, I believe. Jeff says she has twelve. Looks like all of Amanda's, two of Peih-Gee's, three of Todd's, and two of Denise's, maybe. Amanda has four -- one from Courtney, one from Todd, and two from Denise. I think. So I believe, and I wouldn't swear to it, that Amanda gave all of hers to Courtney, Courtney gave hers to everyone equally with the extra to Todd, Peih-Gee gave hers to Courtney and Todd, Denise split them among her alliance (boring, as expected), and Todd gave his to primarily Courtney, with one each to Amanda and Denise. Honestly, I wouldn't know in this situation how to begin to distribute arrows. For one thing, I'm not convinced anyone is going to be able to aim this thing to the level where they can choose which square to hit with any accuracy.
Peih-Gee goes first, and she misses. Denise misses once and hits herself once. Amanda misses, hits Denise, hits Denise again, and misses. So Denise now has three points, and nobody else has any. Todd turns out to have a bizarre talent at the Chinese repeating crossbow, and he hits himself five times in a row before he finally misses. So he's up 5-3, but now, Courtney will shoot her twelve arrows, and that's going to be what it's all about. She misses by a mile, then hits herself. Hits Denise. Hits Amanda. Misses. Hits Todd. Denise. Denise. So now, it's 6-6 between Todd and Denise. Todd. Miss. Denise. And now, it's a tie between Todd and Denise, and she has one arrow left. Aaaand Courtney hits Denise. So Denise wins reward for doing absolutely nothing. Offered the chance to bring one person with her, she takes Courtney, which she kind of has to. Peih-Gee looks a little stricken. And then Denise gets some really bad news, which is that she has to pick one more person to go on the reward. Peih-Gee goes directly to her best move, which is this: "I'm going to be on the jury, girl. I took you. I gave you Shaolin monks. I gave you food when I knew you were sick." Denise looks uncomfortable, and not just because Peih-Gee made it sound like "Shaolin monks" is a venereal disease. Denise asks Courtney for her opinion, and says -- a little too loudly -- that she doesn't want to take Peih-Gee, because that would strengthen her for the immunity challenge. Yeah, you stick with that theory. So she takes Todd, which is the safe play in her get-booted-in-fourth-place theory. Jeff prods Peih-Gee to explain how she's feeling, and Peih-Gee frustratedly says that she took Denise on the reward when she knew Denise wasn't well, she's been friendly to Denise all along, and this is what she gets. "I've eaten the least out of everybody, I've had to fight the hardest," she says. "It's tough; I'm being left out of everything."
On the one hand, she's obviously wrong, because taking people on rewards has to be part of your strategy. On the other hand, she didn't lead with this pity party until Jeff pushed her to explain her disappointment. She led with a really good argument that Denise absolutely should have considered, which is that Peih-Gee is going to be on the jury. Denise is now officially someone against whom Peih-Gee bears ill will. Denise explained earlier that her plan is to be in a jury vote against Todd and Amanda. If she's planning on being in a jury vote against Todd and Amanda, she's going to need a vote from Peih-Gee. She's going to need every vote she can get. If Todd and Amanda are actually going to take her to F3 at this point (they won't, but go with me), they're not going to not take her because she doesn't take them on the reward, so there's not a reason not to take Peih-Gee that's as good as her vote, which is the reason to take her. Obviously, at this stage, Todd and Amanda are going to arrange the F3 they think will benefit them, and they're not going to harm their chances because they're mad that she didn't take them on the reward. There are people who are that irrational, but I don't think Todd and Amanda are among them. Amanda agrees that being left behind is "not a good feeling," but she just had a big food reward, so...not nearly so convincing, that. Denise and Todd and Courtney are sent off to wait for their jet, and Amanda and Peih-Gee head back to camp.
After commercials, we are with Amanda and Peih-Gee back at camp, and they are unhappy. Peih-Gee interviews that at camp, she "said some things that [she] probably shouldn't have" when she got upset about not going on the reward. She says she was frustrated by Denise suggesting she didn't want Peih-Gee getting stronger, because, "Hello? I'm still a person." Meanwhile, 34 days in that bikini (seriously, they're going to put her in the Guinness Book Of World Records for the longest wedgie) are taking their toll on Amanda, who is working on the fire, but ultimately stands, throws her work down, and paces with her hands on her hips. She's in tears as she explains that there's a lot of work already, and it's very difficult having to do all of it yourself. She says that the game is winding down, and she feels like three people are eating, and "I used to be one of those three, and now I'm not. So it's hard." I'm not totally sure what that means, even. Does she think her alliance is going on without her? Does she think she's been replaced by Denise?
At the shelter, Amanda and Peih-Gee have a little chat. "Why do you dislike me so much?" Amanda asks. Peih-Gee looks a little surprised, and Amanda repeats the question. Peih-Gee says she doesn't dislike Amanda. ["Not to borrow from the way-too-overplayed Juno trailer or anything, but that's just how Peih-Gee's face looks, Amanda." -- Joe R] Amanda says she feels like Peih-Gee always attacks her at tribal council. Peih-Gee assures her that there's no hateration going on, and says she's glad that they can spend some time getting to know each other. Peih-Gee interviews that she can respect the fact that Amanda decided to speak up, because she thinks they were having communication issues, and it's good that they cleared the air. The two of them go out into the woods and shake down some pears from a tree, and it looks like they find some limes as well. This makes Amanda very happy. Now, they just need triple sec and tequila.
And here are Courtney, Todd, and Denise low-fiving each other as their jet takes off. Todd lectures that Amanda won't mind, because "she understands that in the game, she's in a good spot with us." I really wish, as Survivo-nerd suggested after this episode, that Peih-Gee -- who basically has nothing to lose -- had just said, while they were all together at some point, "So, after me, which one of you goes at final four?" Because they all talk about it like the end of the game is F4. And there's another vote out there, and one of them isn't seeing the jury, and the other three of them probably know who it is, so one of them is a sucker. (I'm personally going with Denise, but you know that.) Todd also snots that Amanda can't do anything anyway: "What's she going to do, align with Peih-Gee and a bush?" Way to steal your material from Big Tom, loser. On the plane, Todd does his flight-attendant shtick, referring to the three people on the plane as "the three coolest people." If either of them is falling for any of this, she deserves whatever she gets. They drink some champagne.
The Great Wall. Denise, Todd, and Courtney climb a path toward the wall, as Denise voices over that it was "an incredible thing." She says it was really something to be somewhere that 600 years ago was overrun with soldiers and cannons. They're welcomed to a little area right by a stretch of the wall, where the dinner table is set up and their beds are also set up. As soon as they all sit down, they complain that they're "confused" by the food. It turns out, I think, that in the pot in the middle of the table, there's broth, and you take your food on a skewer and put it in the broth to cook. I've done the same thing at fondue restaurants, so I'm not sure why they're so surprised, really. Todd says that it became a "jambalaya pot," and that he was surprised that he got so full so fast. There's also, as always, some wine being consumed. Those wacky producers, always out for a fun night of alcohol poisoning. Todd tells them that he at least hopes Peih-Gee will be nice and weak, but Courtney points out that "she will also be filled with hatred." Hee hee. Courtney then interviews that it was really strategy to bring Todd on the reward instead of Amanda, because Todd would have been more likely to "stir up trouble back at camp." That is idiotic. Todd is sitting pretty in his own mind, and I have no idea why Courtney thinks Todd would suddenly start plotting with Peih-Gee, and Amanda wouldn't. Nobody this season is any good at reading people at all.
Meanwhile, back at camp, Amanda and Peih-Gee look pretty peaceful and happy as they clear fish out of the nets. But how are they doing this without James? They'll all die! Peih-Gee cooks some rice, and on a whim, she and Amanda toss in the last of what looks like a little carafe of wine that must have come with some reward or other. They seem to very much enjoy their fish and rice, and they actually look pretty happy, particularly compared to how pissed off they both were originally about not going on the reward. Peih-Gee comments that they're running low on rice, and she thinks it will only last a couple more days. You know, if you need rice for 39 days, and you make the rice last, like, 37 days? I think you rationed your rice pretty well.
Later that night, Peih-Gee and Amanda stay up and talk. Amanda says that "Denise is such a puppet," unhappily saying that Denise was originally in the pocket of Jean-Robert and James, and now she's in the pocket of Todd and Amanda. The thing that's funny is that I understand her frustration, but it's not that Denise is a puppet. As I've frequently said, I don't really believe in puppets or coattails. It's that Denise isn't doing anything. Peih-Gee asks Amanda if she'd consider taking out Todd or Denise of they could "swing it." Amanda says she's open to other ideas, and Peih-Gee interviews that it seems like Amanda might not be completely determined to go with Todd and Courtney. Amanda says she's had a good day with Peih-Gee, and Peih-Gee says, "Cheers to that." I think it's more like "a good day without Todd and Denise and Courtney," in which case I might say "Cheers to that" as well.
Out at the great wall, the reward winners get some iced coffee. Oh, I like iced coffee. "I'm the happiest boy alive right now," Todd says. And then Todd asks them all about what they'll do if Peih-Gee wins immunity -- do they want to fight it out, or should they just agree that they'll take out Amanda? Courtney basically tells him that any answer they give is meaningless, since Amanda isn't here, so it's pretty easy to say you'd pick her to go. Good point, Slim. Todd suggests to Courtney and Denise that Amanda will be the most difficult to beat in a jury, and Courtney agrees that she and Todd are perceived as "the meanies." Denise says that "someone is going to be left out of our group, and I don't want it to be me." Well, it will be you, dummy. You know how there's always one kid who goes through the lunch line when there are no more fries, and you know how that kid has to have the mixed vegetables instead? You are that kid.
Hae Da Fung, Day 36. When Todd, Courtney, and Denise return from their reward, Amanda and Peih-Gee are not waiting to greet them warmly. Hmm. How about that. Todd says that he "was concerned" about the fact that Amanda and Peih-Gee had been really mad last time he saw them, so he wasn't feeling so great about having them missing. You know, together. And everything. Denise speculates that they might be getting water, and then yes, Amanda and Peih-Gee return with water. As Todd and Courtney describe the reward, they manage to complain about the raw food as well as the sauce, which upset their tummies. Poor babies. I don't suppose your stomachs might have been upset because you're starving and you went and ate like pigs. Peih-Gee interviews that she found the whole bitching and moaning thing kind of ridiculous, and Amanda agrees, saying in her own interview that she can't believe Todd and Courtney still manage to "find things to complain about" even when they're eating reward food at the Great Wall. Things get worse when Denise reveals to Amanda that they brought boiled meat sandwiches with them, apparently thinking they'd bring them back to camp, but Todd ate the sandwiches on the plane. Yikes. Denise says that she was able to bring back some nuts and things, at least, and Amanda is very grateful. Amanda tells us that she's not very pleased with Todd's lack of giving a damn about her and Peih-Gee, and that she's more impressed with Denise, who at least cares a little bit about someone besides herself. Amanda tells Denise that she has her back, and if there's anything I believe in less than coattails, it's back-having. "We'll talk later," Amanda says. "I have some ideas."
Todd and Peih-Gee go and retrieve some treemail, which strongly implies that this challenge will be of the "revisiting past challenges" variety. Amanda voices over that Peih-Gee is under the most pressure to win immunity, but Todd should be trying, too. "I don't trust a thing he says," she says simply. She tells us that she "may have to think about" getting Todd out in the event he doesn't win immunity today.
Challenge course! Jeff takes immunity back from Peih-Gee. The first element of the challenge will be throwing three throwing stars at the board. Second round is eating a balut. Third round is bouncing a ball on a drum through obstacles. Final round is chopping ropes to release discs that go into a puzzle. Each round knocks out the bottom finisher, leaving a single winner. In the throwing-stars round, Todd gets knocked out. In the balut round...well, you know. Denise has already tried and failed at this once, and she apparently sees no reason to try again, so she gives up almost immediately. Courtney wants to know whether she has to go through with it if Denise wants to quit, and Jeff says she does, so Courtney delicately chews until she can smile -- adorably, it must be said -- and reveal an empty mouth. Denise really, truly sucks. She did not even try, and even Courtney sucked it up and ate the thing. In the drum-bounce round, Amanda finishes first, which seems sort of...the way things are going. Peih-Gee and Courtney battle it out until Peih-Gee, corker that she is, wins and goes to the final round against Amanda. In the final round, Peih-Gee gets about five seconds behind Amanda during the rope-chopping, and it grows to probably thirty by the time the puzzle is all done. It's true that Peih-Gee is tired, but I don't think that's really what happened. She just got outplayed a little, but she came incredibly close to taking this challenge and winning immunity again. And I dearly wish she had, but it just was not to be this time. Amanda, I will say, has really earned her way to where she is. It's interesting how the show has insisted on portraying Todd as "mastermind" when it's clear to me that the comer in that alliance is Amanda. What bugs me about the challenge progress is how Denise keeps "cheering" for Amanda the entire time. Like, you quit the challenge, lady. Don't act like you're a fan. Oh, and way to go on that "I'll leave the most likely jury member back at camp and completely antagonize her, because the challenge won't be won by anyone who was denied food." Your strategy is brilliant -- brilliant!
Later, everyone's back at camp congratulating Amanda and, to a lesser degree, Peih-Gee. In an interview, Peih-Gee says, "I came so close to winning immunity again." And she's right; she did. She says she's pretty sure she'll go , but there's always a chance she can turn it around, and she thinks Amanda is her best bet. For her part, Amanda interviews that she was glad to get immunity for the simple reason that it boosts her into the final four.
Courtney brings out the bag of rice, arguing that "there's not even a quarter of a cup of rice," which is absurd -- there's a cup and a half in that bag, at least. I don't really think Courtney does a lot of her own cooking. Todd chastises Amanda and Peih-Gee for eating too much rice while he was gone, which is really fucking nervy. It's Day 36, dude. You've had two straight reward feasts. If you have to go three more days on just fish, you can do it. God. Amanda interviews that it pretty much took all her restraint not to kick his ass for that one. She further says that she's been thinking about getting rid of Todd, and she kind of thinks he's a big snake, and she now has this personal bond with Peih-Gee (which she sounds like she's sincere about), so this might be the time to make a move against Todd. Of course...last week would have been better, moron. But Amanda says that she thinks maybe her best move is F3 with Denise and Peih-Gee. Those three women have a chat in which Peih-Gee says she's played her hardest to even be where she is, and she's proud of the game she's played. Appealing, I think, to Denise's "good person" ideas, Peih-Gee argues that she's been more "honorable" while Todd's been lying and backstabbing. Denise continues her exploration of Imaginary Land, saying she thinks she can beat Todd on the imaginary jury where she winds up when he and Amanda imaginarily decide to take her instead of Courtney. Amanda tells Peih-Gee that she likes her a lot and feels great about their day spent together. Peih-Gee knows she really just has to hope for the best, so she says she hopes the "three girls" can get rid of Todd. "I'd like to see that happen," she grins.
Elsewhere, Todd chats with Courtney, asking whether Peih-Gee is "lobbying at all." They agree that she isn't, and that Peih-Gee is clearly doing nothing to save herself, having surrendered all hope. Mastermind! Todd interviews that this is all working out great for him, and it's his dream situation, and blah blah. I really dislike him more and more, and while I don't care a lot what happens in this game from this point, I'd really rather he didn't win. He pronounces that he will be "pissed off" if he gets sent home. Well, I'd think. He says that if that happens, though, "big ups to them for figuring out a way to get rid of me." Dude. Nobody has to "figure out a way" to get rid of you. They had to figure out how to get rid of some people, but not you. You never win immunity, because you suck at challenges, so "figure out a way" just means "vote." They keep you if they choose to keep you; nothing you've done has made getting you out difficult if other people decide to do it. Arrogant little twerp.
Tribal council. When the jury is brought in, a necklace-free Peih-Gee smiles ruefully at Erik. Jeff begins by asking Denise about taking two people on the reward and leaving two. Denise says this was just so terribly hard for her. "Turmoil in my brain!" she says. Amanda looks like she wants to throw up her three teaspoonfuls of rice. Denise's explanation of taking Courtney is that Courtney hasn't been eating and hasn't been going on a lot of rewards, and her explanation of taking Todd is "I picked Todd." That is pretty convincing. Asked about the reward, Courtney complains about the food being "confusing," and how it wasn't beer and pizza, so it was "frustrating." Amanda and Peih-Gee make disgusted faces, and Courtney admits that she's a "Negative Nancy" about things like this. Jeff asks Peih-Gee why she looks disgusted, and Peih-Gee says she's "one of those positive people," so the jury and the remaining players, who are not supposed to be communicating with each other, make eye-rolly faces at Peih-Gee's expense, because it's as true as it's ever been that the only thing any of these people have accomplished in the last ten days that they can be proud of is that they've all found their own ways to avoid giving due props to Peih-Gee. The way she means it, though, is that she tries to appreciate things a little more than "the food at my reward was not to my specifications" would suggest, and that's probably fair, not that they'd give her any credit for it. Besides, James, Smiley-Smiles, she still beat your ass. If someone had handed her two immunity idols, she wouldn't have gone out in seventh place, and about that, I am a positive person, in that I am...positive.
Jeff asks Amanda about her first chance to "bond with Peih-Gee." Amanda says it was nice. Jeff goes to the "do you take people you think are deserving or people you can beat?" question, but Courtney says she doesn't understand how anyone can be out there for this long and not be deserving. Jeff asks Peih-Gee whether, after tonight, the people left will be the most deserving. Peih-Gee, clearly being baited, says that for her, being deserving is about fighting hard for your spot in the game. Unfortunately, she then goes down the path of talking about how she thinks people who get there "honorably" are better than cheater-liar-backstabbers, which is a horrible argument, and don't go there, Peih-Gee! Jeff asks Todd about deserving people versus people he could beat, and Todd says, kind of irrelevantly, that he thinks everyone hates him anyway, so he says he'd consider mostly who he can beat. For a mastermind, that was a terrible speech.
Voting. When the voting is done, Jeff goes off to count the precious five votes. When he returns, the first vote is for Peih-Gee, then Todd, then it's all Peih-Gee, so she's going home. Todd openly cackles smugly, at which point we cut meaningfully to Erik, who looks like the smug cackling makes him want to barf. As Peih-Gee leaves, Todd seems to be performing for the likes of James and Jean-Robert as he waggles his shoulders in a chair-dance, as if he's done something really spectacular, rather than managed to finally get rid of someone he's had outnumbered for weeks. Jeff sends everyone back to camp with the usual words of non-wisdom.
In Peih-Gee's parting words, she says that she pushed herself, and ultimately they didn't want to go against her in F3 -- which is correct, according to what Todd said -- and that while she isn't getting a million dollars, she's richer than when she started. So that's nice. Now go eat something, and congratulations on keeping your hair nicer than maybe anyone's hair has remained, ever.
On Sunday's finale: Will anything happen that isn't already totally predictable? Who will be the assiest juror? Tune in and find out; it's the antisocial event of the season.