Things get underway this week with a reward challenge, which is gruesomely mishandled by Todd, Amanda, James, and Jean-Robert, who essentially "win" some alone time for Erik, Peih-Gee, Denise, Courtney, and Frosti. Nothing like being rewarded with the bottom half of your alliance and the people your alliance is trying to vanquish getting to spend some time out of your presence. Sure enough, this leads to plotting, including participation from a disenchanted Denise, whose closeness with James seems not to be what it once was. Over at the reward meal, they all receive another clue to the hidden immunity idol, and self-professed person-reading genius Jean-Robert embarrasses himself by (1) never having thought before that maybe there was a hidden idol and that was what all the secret scrolls were about; and (2) having no clue that everyone in the room except him not only has known all along, but knows right where the idols already are. So he gets back to camp and looks for the idol (heh), only to conclude that he should pretend he has one and go try to threaten Erik with it. Erik's kind of like, "Bzzzzt, James has them; ya burnt!" And J-R goes and tries to bully James. Good luck with that. The real genius kicks in when it becomes totally clear that Todd has no grand plan, no matter how hard he's working to act like he does, because his new thing is that he's mad at James and wants to "blindside" James at tribal council, hoping he won't play an idol and will get booted. At the same time, however, J-R comes up with this same plan. Once he presents it to Todd, Todd decides that...nobody else can be the planner? Or something? So he goes to James and tells him about it, and they decide to return to a boot of Jean-Robert (for which Courtney is always game). So at tribal council, Jean-Robert, Peih-Gee, and Erik vote for James, while everybody else votes for Jean-Robert, and he goes home. It would appear that Erik and Peih-Gee erroneously believed that Frosti and Todd, at least, were voting with Jean-Robert's blindsiding plan. So Todd somehow reacts with smugness, because there is some way in which having James continue in the game with two immunity idols is beneficial to him, as much as it might not be clear how, to the average person.
Previously on Gentlemen Prefer To Ridicule Blondes: James wound up with two immunity idols stuffed in his giant pants (you heard me), and Jaime and Erik thought there might be a third. There wasn't. Finding herself just about out of options, Jaime offered up the non-idol just in case, and Jeff Probst hurled it into the fire like it was a scroll containing insults directed at his dead relatives -- his cutest dead relatives. Jaime was sent home, and a lot of people who were mistreated by cheerleaders in high school got their revenge by making up blonde jokes about her.
Hae Da Fung, Night 21. After tribal council, everyone returns to camp with the night-vision cameras close behind. Jean-Robert points out that he was pretty shaken up when Jaime pulled out the plaque from her bag, and Amanda agrees. J-R interviews that he was seriously wetting his droopy pants with fear when Jaime pulled out the idol, until he realized that it wasn't real. We watch a snake encircle a shoe, apparently pining for feet, as Erik stands at the edge of the shelter, trying to find a polite way to ask J-R to move his bulky frame a little so that everyone can have a place to sleep. James takes up the Rocky-esque "be a man" position, taunting Erik that he appears "scared" to ask J-R to move over. It's safe to say that the guy the other guy is accusing of being "scared" is usually preferable to the guy calling out the other guy for being "scared." And I'm not scared to say so. James decides to insert himself into the situation, trying to show up Erik by telling J-R to move, referring to Erik as "the poor boy." You know what? He sucks. I'm sorry, CBS, for ignoring your heroism-themed promos, but he is patronizing and he sucks. I was a reasonably early adopter of TiVo and PDAs and a very early adopter of "Rupert sucks," and I am proud to be an early adopter of "James also sucks." Anyway, James continues to assault the manliness of the other guys in camp, mockingly asking J-R if he wants "a hug" after J-R expresses unhappiness about having come so close to going home. I'm all for making fun of Jean-Robert, certainly, but the fact that James appears unable to come up with an insult other than variations on "okay, Gertrude" is kind of disappointing. James interviews that they have to keep J-R's "dumb ass" around and not tell him about the idols. James's ass, of course, was brilliant enough to receive the immunity idols when Todd essentially handed them to him.
Credits. So the scandalous new thing about the credits is that they've now removed everyone from the credits who didn't make the jury. The entire sequence is now divided into the remaining live players, followed by a title card reading "The Jury" and, at this point, just the one shot of Jaime. Just another part of the attempt to convince you that people who leave before the jury do not exist. The Man is out to get the pre-jury boots. The Man does not appreciate the pre-jury boots. The pre-jury boots need a union!
We open with a shot of the Great Wall, which apparently...is where the challenge will be? Oh, no, wait. It's actually totally irrelevant to the game. Someone should have warned me this would happen. We make our way to the shelter, where someone's sleeping toe has a giant fly on it. And it's shown in extreme close-up, so you can see every little fly leg and every little whorl on the person's toeprint. Thanks a lot, camera guys! Your Emmy will be .0002% insect parts, just like a hot dog. We find James out in the water in his little black shorts, gathering up the fishing net. He voices over that he's back with the gang now that there's been a merge, and that he thinks they need to stick together. He describes how different they all are, referring to Todd as a "stewardess" in the process. Oh, James. I don't think that was malicious in the slightest, but I do think it's kind of...not going to get you a free drink on your flight. He says that they all pull together, but the point of the shot is James's hot behind, which they never get tired of showing, ever. I have to say, this is the first time I can honestly say I've seen parity on a show like this, where they are just as obsessed with lingering shots of James's ass as they usually are with lingering shots of somebody's boobs. It really doesn't qualify as progress. At any rate, James contemptuously says that the other team tried to be a "clique" to win "the high-school friend contest." James needs to sharpen his bon mots a little bit, because..."high-school friend contest"? That's sounding a little bit like he was improvising and ran out of steam before the sentence was over.
James brings a fish back to camp. Amanda tells us in an interview that James is in a very good position, what with the two immunity idols Todd gave him. She says that she's afraid of James winning the whole game, because in addition to the advantage Todd handed him, he's such a strong player. I wonder if anyone might take this to mean that Todd didn't do the world's cleverest thing by giving James those two idols. Maybe someone who was his ally should have talked him out of it at the time instead of acting like it was the most awesome plan she ever heard.
Challenge. They're all standing on a floating platform that's basically two big squarish frames. They'll divide into two teams of four, and one member of each team will be inside one of the squares in a little boat. The other three members of each team will have buckets, and will use them to throw water into the little boat of the opposing team's boater, trying to sink it. The boater can bail with his or her hands, and can paddle to try to move the boat away from the buckets. It's best out of three, so you have to sink the other team twice. The reward is that the winning team of four will go to an "ancient village" for a "Chinese meal." Furthermore, the winning team will get a scroll. With any luck, the scroll will be delivered via your team being bonked on the head with it, which is the only way its obvious meaning could be made any more obvious. Jeff announces that captains will be chosen at random, followed by the treasured "schoolyard pick." Peih-Gee and J-R are captains. J-R takes James; Peih-Gee takes Frosti. James takes Todd, Frosti takes Erik, Todd takes Amanda, and Erik is left choosing between Denise and Courtney. Peih-Gee points out that you want a tiny person for the boat, so they take Courtney. You know who were the dumb-asses here? James, who took Todd for his team, and Todd, who took Amanda. You don't stack your team with your allies when the reward is a trip away from camp, lunkheads! The idea is to avoid having everyone who could potentially align against you left alone to plot freely. There's absolutely nothing they could have done that would have been worse than leaving this particular group of people together to have all sorts of conversations they won't know anything about. How hard is this to figure out? At any rate, this leaves Denise behind, and her anti-reward is that she doesn't get to participate in the challenge at all, so she has no chance of being part of the reward. Poor lunch lady.
First round, the boats contain Todd and Courtney. Courtney gets herself in trouble when she drifts near the side and winds up close enough to the throwers on the other team that they just pour water into her boat. Todd doesn't drift, for which Jeff Probst praises him generously. So Courtney gets sunk. In the round, Frosti and Amanda are in the boats. Frosti gets sunk exactly as Courtney did, by drifting to exactly the same spot she did, which makes me suspect that something about the structure caused the movement of the water to pull the boats in that direction, because otherwise, why did they both -- one heavy and strong person, one light and weak person -- end up drifting to precisely the same spot? Obviously, they should have had the teams switch off sides each round like you switch ends of the field in football (which also allows Brett Favre to touch as much of the grass on the field as possible, making it worth more on eBay to his freakish minions in the broadcast booth), but obviously, they didn't.
When we return from commercials, the "brilliant" J-R, James, Todd, and Amanda are heading off to their feast, happy to have the time segregated alone and away from the entire group of people who might reasonably be motivated to get up to mischief. Interestingly, even when just walking around, Amanda now has to be blurred when seen from the back, so...apparently, she's showing a little more than she realizes. They're walking past people on their way to their dinner, so there are a number of Chinese men currently observing things she probably doesn't intend them to be observing. J-R observes that while he's not a fan of "romantic" things (he provides the finger quotes), he did appreciate the historic aspect of the village. And the historic aspects of the village appreciate all the fine asses being paraded through town, because even a historic aspect likes a fine ass.
The winners all sit down at the table, and J-R happily opens up their sealed scroll. "Idol clue!" he says. "There is a hidden immunity idol!" Everyone else at the table pretends to be surprised. J-R, the poker player and student of people, has absolutely no clue what's going on, and he reads off what calls itself "the final clue" to the idol. You would think this might cause him to realize that there have been other clues, but you would be giving him too much credit. On another note, the final clue refers to "the parth [sic] to your home." Way to go, clue proofreaders! Don't be discouraged; those four lines of doggerel a week would challenge anyone. J-R interviews that he was a little surprised that all these clues could be out there without his having known. The idea of playing poker with him appeals to me more and more, I have to say. J-R meaningfully reads off all the clues in order, as Todd smugly interviews that this was "funny," given that J-R is the only person in the group who doesn't already know the entire story of the immunity idols right up to where they are this very minute. Once they've all had some food, J-R asks what happens to the immunity clue now. Wouldn't want anybody to find it and take our idol! J-R -- thoroughly boomered by this point on what may or may not be traditional Chinese booze -- makes reference to the existence of an "American immunity idol," for which he is roundly ridiculed by Todd. They sort of come off equally poorly, since J-R bent his words and Todd is finding it a lot funnier than it actually is. Amanda double-smugly interviews about how much fun it was to watch J-R wonder about where the idol might be while knowing herself that the idols were gone. I hope the show is ready -- given that Todd, Amanda, and James are all feeling so groovy right now that they apparently have information to which the rest of us aren't privy -- suggesting that all three of them can win. It's kind of like college, where they tell you to look left and right and one of you won't graduate.
Back at camp, there's a big rainbow, and there are a lot of unhappy people. Denise dishes herself up some fish broth and interviews that she's "very upset" about the fact that she wasn't chosen and wound up left behind. "I'm big, I'm fat, I'm always the last one picked," she says. "It's been like that my whole life, and here it is again." Aw, Denise! I'll bet the kids love your Tater Tots! She tells us that she's now thinking maybe her erstwhile alliance will ditch her "when it gets down to the final seven." I have a hint for you, lady: there are only nine people left. You definitely need a better plan than F7. Anyway, she wonders whether she's going to be sent home before J-R and James: "I don't want to be that person." Hey, at least she's thinking about it. Denise tells the former Zhan Hus that she's still surprised that they took out Aaron instead of James.
A discussion breaks out in which those not at the reward (Erik, Peih-Gee, Denise, Courtney, and Frosti) realize that they all sort of want J-R out, for what seem to be combined personal and strategic reasons. Everyone thinks Jean-Robert's kind of shady, and everybody would like a place to lie down in the shelter. Peih-Gee looks up at them all, like, "Dudes, there are five of us. Want him out? OUT!" I love how Peih-Gee is the one who's always trying to make people understand that they can just...vote, you know? I actually think that, particularly for someone who started out really, really badly, she's playing awfully well right now. The situation she was placed in was awful, and she's really a scrapper to still be in the mix this much. She interviews that, among other things, she doesn't have a lot to lose, what with her own ass so close to being imperiled, so she's perfectly happy to try anything that has a nonzero chance of success. She also tells Denise and Courtney that she'll make a deal with them that if she stays longer than J-R, she'll vote for either one of them who might make it to F2. Denise interviews that since nobody likes J-R anyway, "it's kind of an easy vote" if they decide to remove him. She tells us that she's "thinking it over." She tells the group flat-out that she's going to go with whatever alliance she thinks will work out best for her, and good for her, because this way, she doesn't have to get into complex loyalty games that never end well for anyone. "I wouldn't expect any different," Erik says. This conversation is entirely too mature. Bring back Jean-Robert!
That night, the reward people return to camp when everyone else is asleep. They tuck in, but J-R lies awake. He can't wait to get that immunity idol! He gets up and wanders around camp. Despite the fact that the clue could not be clearer about where the idol is, J-R goes up to a statue and removes the head, which...comes clean off. I don't think that's an authentic ancient stone statue, you guys. You can kind of tell J-R is feeling very puffed-up about going out on this mission, and a frog observes him and puffs out its throat repeatedly in solidarity. J-R interviews that he's incredibly anxious to get the idol, which could protect him and be his ticket to the million dollars. Finally, he fastens on the plaques hanging over the archways. It looks like he takes them all down, saying that he figures it might be one of those, so he's just going to take them all. As near as we can tell, the fact that Jaime already turned one in and it wasn't the right one doesn't figure into Jean-Robert's thinking at all, nor does it give him a hint that other people have already had these clues. I will give you an important piece of advice: this sequence is infinitely funnier if you, like I did, hear in your head Jeff Buckley's wonderful "Seat-Finding Song." I tend to hear that in my head whenever anyone is doing idiot physical comedy without realizing it. (Hint: the track is "Monologue: Musical Chairs," you can get it on iTunes for 99 cents -- although you should have the entire record if you want to be a completely fulfilled person -- and I promise you, it is worth the 99 cents, so please download and keep it. There are days when I swear to God, that is the only thing that makes me laugh.) (AAANYWAY.)
Baby monkey.
J-R tucks the plaques away in the bushes, interviewing that he enjoys having a "trump card" nobody else knows about. Nobody else! Knows about the trump card! Heeee's the only one! He's Mr. Trumpy! King of trump!
Hae Da Fung, Day 24. James eats...and eats, and finally, somebody points out that on a tribe with nine people, he's eating about a quarter of the food. Someone estimates, and everyone else nods, that he eats more than twice as much as the others. "Dude, I'm hungry" is James's response. I guess the fact that everyone is hungry to the point where he's turning into a ham right this minute in someone's eyes hasn't occurred to him. In an effort to bolster his case, James compares himself favorably to J-R, saying that J-R just lies around a lot and therefore shouldn't need to eat much. J-R takes exception, saying that when he did the fishing during James's absence, he didn't eat more than his share. I'm not sure there's a good way to resolve this fight, because James is huge and was very good in challenges when they were working in teams. So up until now, there was probably a thing that they were all willing to feed him, because he was a help to the team. Now? Not really. He's not a communal resource anymore, so it makes sense that the food would suddenly tighten up, but that doesn't necessarily mean James is wrong for not picking up on that fact faster.
Todd interviews that everyone is driving him crazy -- he's tired of J-R in general and tired of James's endless whining about being hungry. In my favorite quote, Todd is all bitchy about the fact that James has two immunity idols and hasn't even offered to give him one. That is so goddamn glorious, because...guess what, nimrod? Smart people don't hand off immunity idols, and certainly not out of a general sense of obligation. You had leverage; you gave it up; you apparently didn't even extract a deal for yourself, for whatever it would have been worth. There are no frequent flyer miles in your future. Todd says that he would enjoy seeing "some craziness" go on at camp, apparently for reasons of...spite? Boredom?
Todd and Amanda get water together, and he complains to her that James is in this great position, almost guaranteed F4 with the two idols. I wonder how James secured such a fabulous position for himself. Hard to imagine! If only there were something Todd could have done to keep that from happening! Amanda still wants to get rid of Peih-Gee now and take James out , but Todd points out that you can't take James out, ever, unless you manage to do it when he doesn't win individual immunity and doesn't play either idol. So Todd's idea is that, this week, if James doesn't win individual immunity, they should take him out by surprise, so that he won't play the idol to protect himself. Amanda interviews that the plan was supposed to be to boot Peih-Gee, then Erik, then Frosti, but now Todd is all hot for getting rid of James. To this end, Todd pulls Frosti aside and explains all this, telling him that he wants to blindside James at tribal council if James doesn't win immunity. They won't tell Peih-Gee, of course, because she'd tattle to James. She...would? I'm not sure she'd interfere in a plan to get rid of someone else instead of her. In a bizarre interview in which he's perched in a tree and turned to the camera at a jaunty angle like a lady in a shampoo commercial about to expound upon the joys of washing your hair with real eucalyptus, Frosti tells us that he's being viewed as a "swing vote," which he still hasn't figured out is actually a really bad position to be in, because you're expendable to everyone once you're integral to no one. Frosti tells Todd that he's down with the blindsiding plan.
Immunity challenge. Jeff brings in the group. They're all forced to approach him through a grassy, swampy area with muddy water up to their knees, and of course, Jeff chuckles at them, because he's so much cooler than they are with his platform to stand on. Frosti brings the immunity idol over to Jeff. The challenge today involves sitting on a barrel full of water that's positioned horizontally -- so you kind of straddle it like a horse. It's not secure, though; it can roll from side to side. It also has a hole in the bottom, so water will continually drain out of it, making it harder and harder to balance on it as it gets lighter. When you fall off, you're out. Last one left wins immunity.
The contestants all clamber onto the barrels, which are set up to look like segments of a long dragon (because we have not given enough attention to Americans' stereotypical notions of Chinese NewYear, and they know so little else), and the challenge begins. It's remarkable how much the water dropping out of the bottom of the barrels makes it look like they're all peeing into the swamp. I mean, it's from the barrels, and yet...it's unsettling. At any rate, I immediately called this challenge for Courtney, based on how tiny she is, and how little people often come out ahead on balance challenges. Let's see if I'm right. Jean-Robert immediately announces that his isn't balanced right, though he appears to be joking. "Glad you're still around, Jean-Robert," Probst snots. "Always need a complainer." You know, this is what's wrong with having Jeff act like such a dick the rest of the time -- he can't effectively knock anyone down if he's being a bitch himself. Anyway, Courtney immediately says she thought she was the complainer. Heh. James's talents, it turns out, do not particularly include balancing, because he's on the verge of falling off from the very beginning. Courtney, on the other hand, sits upright and stone-still.
At ten minutes in, J-R tries to psych everyone out by talking about how they must all be itchy from their mosquito bites. All he accomplishes, however, is distracting himself to the point where he's the first to fall off. He wasn't going to win anyway, but still: idiot. Denise is the out. And then James runs out of luck at last, and he's out. Erik goes out. Peih-Gee goes out. Amanda touches the wrong part of the barrel and she's out. So it's Courtney, Frosti, and Todd. Frosti sings a little song that goes, "Starving artists on a dragon, balancing on barrels for Jeff Probst." I've heard less catchy tunes, believe me. Todd is out. "And then there were two," Jeff announces. "Lov-ahs!" Frosti announces dramatically. Hee. Jeff points out that Courtney has yet to move. "I am lazy," she agrees. Hee, again. When did Courtney and Frosti become a comedy duo? Frosti is kind of sliding around now, and the amusement really comes in watching him make a series of miraculous saves, owing to his background in monkey-style athletics. His abilities are remarkable, but he's no match for tiny, tiny Courtney, who sits motionless atop her barrel and wins. She collects the immunity necklace, commenting that it feels just like winning a pageant! The necklace is about a foot from her clavicle, because she now looks like pantyhose stretched over a frame made of coat hangers. Jeff reminds them all that later on, they will have to vote someone out. I don't think they had forgotten.
Hae Da Fung, Day 24. Panda. Monkey. Panda again. Monkey again. I have a feeling there aren't very many animals around, so these same ones are getting a lot of coverage. The tribe congratulates Courtney -- even J-R, who I'm sure is completely sincere. Fairly nicely, Courtney attributes her victory to not wanting to get dumped in the swamp. She interviews that she really never anticipated that she'd ever win immunity, but now, she doesn't care who goes home, because it won't be her. Peih-Gee, however, interviews that she was most bummed not to win immunity, because she knows that her neck is on the line at tribal council. She says that she's doing everything she can to save herself, and that Denise actually seemed open to voting with Peih-Gee, Erik, and Frosti, so she's hoping that somehow, this is all going to keep her safe for this week.
And now, Jean-Robert's Rilly Big Bluff. Out in the water taking a bath, J-R tells Erik how Erik and his pals are really fucked now. Erik smiles and says he thinks J-R is kind of in trouble himself, with all the votes he's been getting. J-R confidently announces that he might not get as many votes as Erik might think. "I have the hidden immunity idol," J-R tells Erik, who manages not to start giggling but clearly wants to. Instead, Erik is like, "Huh." J-R announces that now that he has the idol, he's "pretty much guaranteed top five for sure right now." Erik thinks for a minute. "What would you say if I told you that I was pretty sure that you didn't have the right immunity idol?" Such a good thing to say, seriously. J-R is still living in his fool's paradise, and he says, "I'd say you probably don't have as many clues as I do." Has he seriously not considered yet the fact that he received the last clue after many people already had several? Erik pauses again, considering how best to proceed. "I'm willing to share with you what I know," Erik finally says. He tells J-R about James showing up at Zhan Hu and ultimately turning out to have two immunity idols wrapped in his clothes. J-R is obviously taken aback, not only by this information in particular, but by the very idea that there are two idols. "I was right, but I was just too late," J-R says, congratulating himself for figuring out where the idol was after having seen all the clues, despite the fact that the final clue is always the one that pretty much draws you a map to the idol. J-R tells Erik that they'll "keep this on the DL" (way to talk like the young people, Slangy O'Rapsalot!) and that maybe they'll "pull a fast one on James." Erik looks pleased.
So J-R and James go out fishing together, and once they're out there, J-R asks James what he thinks about the idol. James plays dumb. Awesomely, J-R tells James, "You had to know I was going to figure it out sooner or later," as if he would have ever figured it out if Erik hadn't, you know, told his clueless ass exactly what was happening. When James wants to know who told, J-R insists that nobody told, because nobody could figure this out except him. Oh, Jean-Robert. You idiot. James continues insisting that not only does he not have two idols; he doesn't have any idols and has no idea what Jean-Robert is talking about. Man, this is...not a meeting of the minds, right here. J-R tells James that it's time to decide between working with J-R and being vanquished. That is all! All there is to it! Work with me or perish! James interviews that he might look dumb, but that he knows better than to try to work with Jean-Robert, who is patently untrustworthy. J-R wants to know what the deal is, and James tells him that when he finds two idols, he'll let J-R know. That's so...I mean, nobody's convincing anybody here. J-R is being stupid, but it's not like James is putting anything over on J-R either. It's lifeless, like a negotiation between two bundles of old newspapers.
So now, J-R continues making a jackass out of himself by interviewing that James is now "fair game" and having a summit with Todd in which he breathlessly reports the news that James is in possession of two immunity idols. Two! J-R tells Todd that the way he sees it, they should blindside James at tribal council, because he has both idols, but he won't play them if he doesn't know he's going. Say, that's a swell idea! Someone else should have thought of that. Todd now announces in an interview that he's "bothered" by having J-R come up with the same idea he already had, so now it's all on the table again. So let us review: if someone else comes up with the same idea you had, you must abandon your idea, because you must be the only person who has your idea. You might think it doesn't sound very smart, but my mom is very pleased that she never gets sweaters or jewelry for Christmas and gets only bricks and old bicycle tires. I am original.
Todd now meets with James and tells him that Jean-Robert is trying to get him punted. He explains that J-R is working with Erik, Peih-Gee, and Frosti, and thinks that Todd is with him, too, so he thinks James is going. But Todd proposes that they do in Jean-Robert instead. How dare anyone else try to have an idea! Asked whether they should tell Denise, James scoffs, "Hell, no," although it's not clear why that is at all. Amanda still wants to stick with getting rid of Peih-Gee and then getting rid of Jean-Robert . She interviews that every time anyone talks to Todd, he changes his mind about what he wants to do. She is not so happy about the fact that he keeps wavering. She's very much correct that the more you keep changing the plan, the more vulnerable you make yourself. Courtney walks up, and they ask her whom she wants gone, clearly hoping they can get her to say she wants to boot J-R, they can then cast it as a favor when they do what they wanted to do anyway. Not playing along, Courtney shrugs and says that she doesn't really care; she'll do what they want to do. She interviews that, for no apparent reason, Todd switched the vote to Jean-Robert, so while she's pleased, it's not like she thinks they're doing it for her. Frosti wanders up, and they tell him the news as well. Courtney tells us that while she's going to enjoy it if people actually finally are ready to be rid of Jean-Robert, she can't help noting his position as "the Susan Lucci of tribal council" (heh), in that he keeps on getting votes and getting votes without actually being booted, so she'll believe it when she sees it. Good girl. James, meanwhile, says that he doesn't know whether to take the idols to tribal council or not, since he's hoping he won't have to use them. So he...won't take them? Even if he gets a terrible vibe at tribal council, which can certainly happen, he wants to be stuck without them? Not so smart, dude.
Tribal council. Jeff brings in Jaime, whose hair I don't like. The editing suggests that Erik is giving her a Meaningful Look, but I'm not so sure. Looks like a "hey," without the attached "how YOU doin'?" Jeff asks Courtney whether she would ever have thought she'd be there on the twenty-fourth day wearing immunity. As Frosti rubs her shoulder, Courtney admits that she would not have. She says good-naturedly that if she was going to win one, it would be one where winning would keep her out of the swamp. Heh. Jeff asks James whether he's nervous, being such a big physical threat and not having won immunity. James says that he's nervous, knowing he's a physical threat, but that "the talkers" are actually a much bigger threat than he is. Jeff then asks Peih-Gee about being outnumbered so greatly by the former Fei Long members. She points out that only she and Erik brought their gear, so apparently, everyone else is feeling safe. Ooh, I hope somebody gets sent home without their stuff. I love it when somebody gets sent home without their stuff! It reminds me of Marcellas!
Jeff asks J-R how frustrating he would find it to be in Peih-Gee and Erik's position, outnumbered by an alliance that predates your arrival. J-R stresses that he would be frustrated, because they are in such a very, very, very bad position as a result of their very, very, very bad cards. He makes a couple of poker analogies, deuce-seven off-suit in a no-limit blah bling blah. Surprisingly, J-R does not fasten upon the one poker analogy that actually applies, which is this one: if you're at the table and you can't identify the sucker? You are the sucker.
Asked whether he agrees about the hopelessness of his situation, Erik says that it's dire, of course, but that at some point, the people in Fei Long are going to start realizing that some of them are at the bottom of an alliance that's basically too big for this stage in the game. He's very much correct: six people, which is how many Fei Longs there are, is too many for an alliance when there are nine people left in the game. Erik says that if you know you're fifth or sixth in line, you might start making other plans. James, in an incredibly patronizing and asshole-ish maneuver, throws his hands in the air and starts laughing at what Erik is saying, even though what Erik is saying is entirely right. This is so dumb: James clearly has no understanding of endgame whatsoever, and it's incredibly annoying when people in a numerically better position created by other people's actions lecture about strategy when they clearly don't have any. If James and Todd were smart, they'd realize that what Erik is saying is precisely the thing they need to look out for. But they're idiots, and a smug idiot is a really hard thing to take.
Jeff asks Jean-Robert about the part where Jaime played her non-idol. He asks how "the notion that there could be a hidden immunity idol" changes the game at this point. J-R says that since he plays the role of "local jerk" (no argument), he's likely to get a vote or two at most tribal councils, but that means that if somebody breaks out an idol, he could go home. Jeff asks Amanda whether she honestly thinks it could be her every time, and she says yes, which is obviously false since she didn't bring her stuff. Pay attention, Amanda, and admit to what's already been demonstrated. Courtney has individual immunity, but with a "screw you guys," she announces that she's keeping it. When she votes for Jean-Robert, she says, "I hope this is the last time I have to vote for you." Heh. I don't know; Courtney is annoying with her artificial New York-iness, but at this point, she seems to have stopped complaining so much, and she's...kinda funny, in a certain way. Few people get less annoying as they get more skeletal, but I think Courtney is going in that direction. I kind of dig her refusal to belong to any club that doesn't really want her. Denise votes for Peih-Gee, saying somewhat apologetically that she was just "on the wrong tribe." J-R smugly explains to James that his good game is why they have to "send [him] packing."
Time to announce the votes. Of course, if you had a hidden idol to play, you'd play it now. Nobody does. The first vote is for Jean-Robert. Then Jean-Robert. Peih-Gee. James. James. James. Jean-Robert. Jean-Robert. And the last vote goes to Jean-Robert, so he's booted. Snuff! Bye, ya big jerk! Todd can't contain his smug glee and keeps mugging, giving him as good a poker face as Jaime ever had. Jeff announces that this vote means that "tribal lines are gone." Which...what? Except for Jean-Robert himself (you can't really expect a dude to vote to boot himself, JEFF) and Frosti, who's been on both tribes before the merge, the original Zhan Hu voted for James. The original Fei Long voted for Jean-Robert. What is he talking about? More like "tribal lines obviously remain in effect." I realize he's leading up to "this is a brand-new game," which is the thing he says, but it's so patently untrue that...how satisfying can I find it?
You know who looks unhappy? Denise. That's a story to watch; nobody thought to bring her in on what they were doing.
time: nobody likes anybody else. And: a twist! In J-R's exit interview, he uses more poker analogies and insists again that he was thrown out because he was "the best player in the game." Which, I'm glad he will see when he watches the show, is not something that anyone said or thought about him, ever.