So Alex and Mookie are on the ropes, obviously, following last week's wonderful developments. They know it, too, which is what makes it particularly satisfying. Struggling hard to be relevant, Mookie decides to rummage around in Yau Man's things to see if he has the other individual immunity idol. When Mookie actually manages to find the idol, he and Alex begin gloating and high-fiving each other, in spite of the fact that they really have no idea what good this information is going to do them. They finally hatch a "plan" in which they're going to confront Yau Man at tribal council about having the immunity idol, which will sway...someone? Into doing...something? Rather fortuitously, Cassandra and Stacy are sitting nearby, and Alex and Mookie are so convinced that the women overheard their "plan" (they didn't) that they abandon it entirely. Instead, they simply run back to camp and threaten and bully Yau Man that they're going to tell everyone he has it. He basically says, "Whatever." Alex gets all Matt Dillon in My Bodyguard, like, "Nyaaaaah, should be interesting, huh?" And Yau Man's response is to point out that, while he might have chosen to keep this private a bit longer, it's not going to make any difference. Which it's not. When Yau Man announces to everyone else that Alex and Mookie did this, they are all very shocked and indignant, but not in the way Alex and Mookie intended. Rather than being angry at Yau Man for not telling them that he had the idol, they're angry at Alex and Mookie for going through somebody else's stuff while he wasn't there. When Stacy wins individual immunity in a kind of cool "Battleship" challenge, everything is aligned to kick out Alex. But, as they tend to do this season, complications arise. Boo returns from Exile Island, concerned that, based on the clue he saw, the idol would be so easy to find that he's afraid Mookie or Alex might have stumbled on it without any clues. If they did, then voting for either of them could result in someone, who might be Boo himself, going home. For that reason, the six members of the current Earl-liance decide to split their votes three-three between Alex and Mookie, and once there's no idol, they'll break the tie and send Alex home. This seems like an okay plan, except that Alex eagerly turns on Mookie and votes against him at tribal council just in case it helps, giving Mookie four votes and sending him home. Everything is just a little chaotic this season, in an almost entirely good way.
Previously on HA HA HA!: "Dreamz" let the Earl-liance in on the fact that Mookie had an immunity idol, and Alex was targeted. But then he told Mookie and Alex that Alex was targeted, and Mookie gave the idol to Alex. Then he told the Earl-liance that Mookie gave the idol to Alex, so Mookie was targeted again. Stacy decided that this was too much back-and-forth to trust anything, so Edgardo was targeted. "Dreamz" wasn't told, or the cycle presumably would have gone on forever. ("Now Edgardo has the idol! Now They're targeting Mookie again! Mookie has the idol! They're targeting Alex!") In a most brilliant display of your best-laid plans peeing on your leg, Edgardo went home. Eight people are left. Who will be eliminated , and what will Alex and Mookie do that will be completely awesome?
Bula Bula, Night 27. The tribe is returning from the Greatest Tribal Council Of All Time, not that all of them see it quite that way. The usual bat hangs on his usual branch, squeaking, "Can you believe these people? I totally knew Mookie would give Alex the idol, that moron." Mookie and Alex are, as it happens, currently discussing their situation, in that Mookie is telling Alex that they're done and will inevitably be the ones removed from the game. They're also concluding quite astutely that they were "double-crossed" by "Dreamz." Alex thinks that "Dreamz" might have been "playing [them] all along." And I have to say...I don't think so. I don't think he's that calculating. I think he just...does stuff. He does stuff, and then he's like, "Hey, that worked!" And then he figures that time he gets the chance to do stuff, he totally should. Mookie explains in an interview that "Dreamz" betrayed the "four horsemen." Fortunately, that appellation is pretty much a thing of the past after this. Now it's the "two dipwads," which doesn't sound as much like you'd want to embroider it on a jacket.
Elsewhere, "Dreamz" is a little concerned over not having been in on what was happening, so he's assuring Stacy that he's "not a liar." She reassures him that the only reason they didn't tell him what they were doing in switching to Edgardo was that they feared that the other "horsemen" might have been giving him bad information. If you think about it, that wouldn't really justify not telling him, but it seems to convince "Dreamz." "That was smart," "Dreamz" says admiringly. "It felt safer with Edgardo," Earl adds, clearly still buzzed from the adrenaline of that vote, and "Dreamz" agrees. In an interview, "Dreamz" says that indeed, when it first happened, he feared that they didn't trust him. But then, he decided that what they did was pretty smart after all. "Now the power is pretty much on our side," Earl says confidently. In fact, he says, there are now "two people just waiting on death row." Yow. Stacy sees things a little differently, and has switched the same treatment she used to dish out to "Dreamz" and Cassandra over to Alex and Mookie: "They'll be lucky if they get fed," she says dismissively.
Credits. They're short-form, and as my Music Stylist pointed out this weekend, you can really tell that they haven't shown the long-form credits that many times this season, just based on the fact that I didn't really fixate on Boo's eyes until last week. Incidentally, while we're discussing betrayal, as we will be during this episode, you should all know that said Music Stylist slammed my entire hand in a minivan door last Thursday night, leaving temporary dents in all my fingers. I'm lucky I can still type. It's amazing how long it can take to spit out the words, "You need to open your door, because my fingers are entirely slammed in the door and I'm sort of paralyzed with pain." But he eventually opened the door after what seemed like about an hour and a half. Then, we went to a really great concert. Download that show, and wait for a song called "Leave," and you will officially know what the last thing was that made me cry. Because it came after my fingers were slammed in the door. Where was I? Oh, right. Betrayal.
Bula Bula, Day 28. Folks are waking up, and Alex and Mookie are hanging out together, realizing that bitterness tastes best when you down it to your best bud. Specifically, they discuss the fact that they hate "Dreamz" now, and they have nothing to say to him. Mookie specifically dislikes the fact that "Dreamz" hasn't come over to make some kind of overture of, presumably, bowing and scraping. As one Jonathan Penner recently pointed out, however, you can't expect too much from a guy whose nickname not only is stupid, but means stupid. As if you need another diversion already, you'll find that post on the Survivors Strike Back Blog at CBS.com, which has become weirdly awesome this season, thanks to the contributions of a rather unlikely band of bloggers: Cook Islands President Beefcake, Guatemala Brian, and, of course, Jonathan. These three dudes are basically sitting back throwing spitwads at the TV and saying precisely what they think, and I highly recommend it. ANYWAY.
In one of the greatest moments of the week and probably of the season, "Dreamz" comes over to Mookie and Alex and says, "Why y'all ain't hanging out no more?" I mean, you think you've seen gumption, and then you see...this. Alex is all, "Why do you think, man?" And here, "Dreamz" actually attempts to argue that he did not flip. Seriously! He insists that the fact that he voted for Mookie while everybody else voted for Edgardo means that he's just as much a victim as they are. And it's like what he's saying is so spectacularly ridiculous that for a minute, it looks like it might be working. Because...it's Alex and Mookie, you know? They're not geniuses, as we already know. They're completely confused by what he's saying. Alex and Mookie also don't understand the vote, as they seem to think "Dreamz" voted for Edgardo. Who they think voted for Mookie is a mystery, but they're talking about how, had he voted for Cassandra, it would have been a 4-4 vote between Edgardo and Cassandra. He clarifies that he voted for Mookie, and this doesn't help his cause too much. What "Dreamz" tries to claim, ultimately, is that he was trying to go along with the Earl-liance without really helping them, I guess? I don't know. He thought they were voting for Mookie and that the die was therefore cast? Something like that. I mean, that part is actually sort of true, so maybe that's what he's saying. He goes on to insist that he would never turn on Alex and Mookie. "Ever. Ever!" Because that's how you can tell people are telling the truth. It's the second "ever." "Dreamz" then interviews that this was a total lie, of course, and that it was totally his fault that the flip happened. My favorite part is that while "Dreamz" is voicing over with this explanation, you can see Mookie counting on his fingers in the background. Scheming is hard! Alex insists that he only cares about the betrayal aspect. (Me too. My fingers hurt!) "Dreamz" tells them that if they want to stay around, all they can do is win a lot of challenges. And then he tells us that he just wants to stay as friendly as possible, so that he might get their votes at a final tribal council.
Challenge clearing. Two giant slingshots. Jeff says that they'll be randomly split into two teams. They'll go up against each other, with each team having a slingshot operator and three catchers out in the field of mud that's before them. If you catch a ball, you get a point for your team, whether it's your team's ball or the other team's ball. First team to five will win reward. And what's the reward? It's your basic overnight spa getaway with eating and bath products. Try Olay! It's delicious! (Shout-out to Wing's mom, who loves Olay almost as much as I do.) Also, the winning team will send one of the losers to Exile Island, where that person will see a clue for a newly buried idol to replace the one that Alex burned -- I mean, "played" -- last week.
The orange team has Yau Man launching for Boo, Cassandra, and Mookie. The green team has Stacy launching for Earl, "Dreamz," and Alex. The first two balls aren't caught, though Earl is close to getting the green one. Boo scores for orange. Mookie scores for orange. When the ball sails, Cassandra puts an arm around Earl's neck to keep him from catching it, and once it isn't caught, he's like, "Um, chokehold? " Jeff tut-tuts that it's up to them to decide how physical to get, which is kind of weird, since I've never seen a physical or wrestling thing that didn't include "no choking" as a rule. I suspect that Jeff's reaction has something to do with the fact that Cassandra wasn't considered capable of actually choking anyone. "Dreamz" scores for green, but on the round of balls that aren't even caught, Boo goes down with an injury. Wow, who knew that having people run and slide in the mud in inappropriate shoes might risk injuring someone's leg? Boo moans in pain, saying that he fears the dreaded ACL injury (suffered by many professional and amateur athletes, not to mention my dog), until Jeff calls for the medical team. Boo explains to Medic Guy that his knee hurts in the middle of the back of the knee. He says that he heard it pop, and he thinks it might be that two things got crossed up over each other wrong, so he wants to try putting weight on it. When he puts weight on it, there is a sharp, truly disgusting snap so notable that everyone cringes in unison. But it appears that indeed, something just needed to be popped back, and now Boo is fine. "I'm good, let's go," he says, actually rubbing extra mud on his hands for no conceivable reason. "Let's go!" he repeats when nobody moves fast enough. ["He put his own leg back together! Through sheer force of will and gumption! Boo is Superman!" -- Joe R]
"Dreamz" scores again for green. Mookie shrieks at Yau Man, ordering him to put the ball in a particular spot, which announcement and screaming makes that placement a tiny bit less effective, one would think. But nobody else is really paying attention, which is somewhat emblematic of the season, so the plan works perfectly, and Mookie catches the one for orange. When "Dreamz" needles Earl about not doing enough. Earl needles Stacy indirectly about "the placement of the balls." Indeed, indeed. It is that, Earl. Stacy puts the one right where "Dreamz" is waiting, so he gets this one, too. When Yau Man doesn't put the one right where Mookie wants it, Mookie bellows at him. Nice. Fortunately for Yau Man, he manages to put the one where Mookie wants it, so Mookie stops bitching. But when Mookie wants it right back at the same place, Yau Man puts it there and Alex steals it -- finally figuring out on about the fourth try how to foil this plan.
So it's four to four. catch decides it. Yau Man's ball is not caught, and then Stacy yells, "Dreamz!," and she puts it right to him, and he catches it, and there you have it. The fact that "Dreamz" is very tall looks like it was very helpful in this challenge, I will say. So, whom do they want to send to Exile Island? They decide to send Boo, saying that he never had to live at the bad camp. They're determined to make up for all his couch time by sending him to party with the snakes. The thing is, I don't think Boo will mind. It's going to be like scout camp. Boo heads for the boat, and not being a complainer, he doesn't complain. Earl, Stacy, "Dreamz," and Alex head off for their reward.
When we return, Boo is on Exile Island on Day 28. Boo reads the idol clue up in the tower, and it tells him that the idol is to "a singular tree." You can tell that the same people write these dumb clues that write all the treemail. Boo tells us that honestly, he's just as happy that the idol isn't on the island, so he doesn't feel obligated to look for it and stress out his knee, which apparently is still causing him some discomfort. He adds that he's out of water and really needs to get out of the sun. Perhaps he minds exile a little more than I thought he would.
Seaplane. Alex tells us that the first thing he plans to do at the reward is, of course, infiltrate the Earl-liance so he can be in charge of the game again. Why, sure! Why wouldn't they change everything and save him? Alex admits, as he must, that his position, basically, is very bad, but he figures that he might as well try. At the resort, the winners are shown into their bungalow or whatever, and it is explained that there are both indoor and outdoor showers. Since they're all still caked with mud, the showers are primary right now. We are treated to a shower sequence that will really make you hot if you like Stacy, dirty people in general, or Olay bath products. Earl is kind of surprised and fascinated to find mud caked under his armpits. Gross, yet funny. They are served what looks to me like it might be raw (or barely cooked) tuna or some similar fish. Stacy tells us that the reward was awesome, but "it was extremely awkward to have Alex there." I love how Stacy has so completely flipped her allegiance in the last couple of episodes that now, she's like, "MY people can't stand being around THOSE people, whom I was with eight days ago."
We watch a dinner conversation in which Alex tells them all that of course, they know what a fair and awesome guy he is, and that he always plays fair and never gloats when he wins. "Sometimes," Stacy interjects. And as much as I've often disliked her, she's right about this, and I kind of liked the way she busted in, like, "Not." Alex tells us, "A lion is most dangerous when he's wounded and backed up against the wall." And, presumably, when he's surrounded by much larger lions, who outnumber him. And are hungry. And have guns. Alex says that if he can get himself moved down the line a little, he might have more time to "infiltrate the alliance." Yeah, you let me know how that goes, kiddo. Alex has a sit-down with Earl and asks him what the order of elimination is for, presumably, him and Mookie. Earl comes up with a nice way of saying, "Obviously, I'm not telling, and there's no reason I would, and you're making yourself sound dumb just by asking me." Earl says he assumes this conversation means that Alex would like to stay longer. Alex tries for the save by saying that he thinks Mookie is ready to go. Earl replies that he knows Alex is a lot less ready to go...and that's why Alex probably needs to go. Ha! Alex gives Earl his big speech about how he's at peace with how he played the game, and so forth. Alex insists that he's not going down without a fight. He will, for instance, bite your legs off. "They'd better be prepared for me to bring it, at this point." I love this kind of speech: "Now that I have no chance of winning, I have nothing to lose! My powers are peaking! Look out, world! I'm just a little crazy!"
The sun comes up the day. The winners return to camp and are greeted by everyone who's still dirty. Mookie marvels in an interview at how the reward people "smelled like apples and strawberries." I think the guys at the gym are going to give him a really hard time about that. Fortunately, Mookie returns to form by saying that he hated hearing anything about the reward trip. He says that he might seem to be out of the picture, but his heart is still playing the game. His powers? Peaking! He swears that his "mind is still constantly, just, thinking." Good thing! Hopefully, it's thinking something more than "inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale."
Mookie and "Dreamz" sit around, now that they apparently hang out again, and Mookie says he thinks that Yau Man found the idol that was originally buried at Moto. To his credit, Mookie does actually use a relevant piece of evidence to get to this point, which is that Yau Man does seem to hang around camp a lot. Mookie tells us that this was an example of him being "creative," that he sat around thinking about who had the missing idol. While "Dreamz" is napping and Mookie knows Yau Man is fishing, Mookie heads back to camp to hunt through Yau Man's stuff for the idol. Together, Mookie and Alex poke around, and they find the idol in Yau Man's bag. And then, it gets brilliant. Alex is like, "How can we use this information?" Like, they did it, and they found it, and now they have to figure out why it matters. Mookie smirks, insisting that they can surely do something with it.
As it happens, at the same time that Mookie and Alex are finding the idol, Cassandra and Stacy are out in the woods having a powwow about being the last two women left. As they toast with fruit, it's pretty interesting to think back to Stacy's declaration that Cassandra, like "Dreamz," had no friends and would surely go . When Stacy hears Alex and Mookie coming, she and Cassandra hide. Mookie and Alex have a conversation in which they discuss whether Yau Man would have told anyone else he had the idol, and they assume he wouldn't. Their discussion just gets funnier when Mookie asks Alex how they're going to convince everyone that Yau Man has the idol. And then, Mookie concludes that they'll just tell everyone that he has it. It's brilliant! Genius! Mookie goes on to say that he thinks Yau Man keeps it with him in the pants he wears to tribal council. So Mookie's idea is to wait until tribal council and call out Yau Man on having it. They envision a moment when he will be forced to admit that he has it. And this will...cause something to happen, but I'm not sure what. Their idea seems to be that Yau Man will deny having it, and then they'll force him to admit that he has it, and then everyone will immediately vote for him. Because...? I mean, it stands to reason that even if this is the case, all that will happen is that Yau Man will play the idol, which everyone would now know, which means they wouldn't vote for him. See what I mean? Finding out that someone can't be voted off doesn't make people rush to vote him off, particularly without a plan in place. What you need to do is try to get people to vote for Yau Man without making it public that people know about his idol. That's how you get people to vote for him -- you convince them that he has the idol, and that they can vote him off without giving him a chance to play it, because he'll never see it coming. Once you tell Yau Man that you know about his idol and plan to tell everyone about it, you make it (1) much more likely that he'll play it; and therefore (2) much less likely that people will vote for him. Basically, the way to minimize the value of knowing that he has the idol is to make it common knowledge among everyone that he has it and that everyone knows he has it.
So, of course, that's what they want to do. Alex is waxing rhapsodic about how great it's going to feel to essentially create an awkward moment. Even if it doesn't work, they'll be all, "You have the idol!", and Yau Man will have to admit it, and that'll fix the old man's wagon. "That's going out swinging!" Alex says. "Literally a blaze of glory!" How I wish. Maybe he's talking about his torch. I doubt it. Mookie and Alex agree that this is going out "Scarface-style," which is incredibly embarrassing and therefore wonderful. "Two great brains working together, strategizing -- we're on top of the world," Mookie remarks. He says in an interview that they have this plan, where they'll call out the idol at tribal council. And...nobody will be able to talk to each other. So...they'll all be paranoid. So...they'll all vote for the guy they know will obviously play the idol? OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO STUPID.
And then, it gets better. Right when they're celebrating, Alex and Mookie realize that Stacy and Cassandra are hiding nearby and listening. So they go through an entire grieving process for their incredibly shitty plan, and how now, it's all ruined. Alex has this wounded-fawn expression, like he can't believe their five minutes of scheming are going to waste. "We're screwed," Alex says. "There goes that plan," says Mookie. For about the fiftieth time, Mookie and Alex now talk about how what they need to do is "blow up his spot," meaning tattle on Yau Man. As they walk back to camp, they come up with this plan, which I swear to God I am not making up: they will go to Yau Man and tell him that if he doesn't tell everyone he has the idol, they'll tell everyone. So...they're not going to try to get anything from Yau Man, like, "If you vote for Cassandra, we won't tell anyone you have the idol." Or, "If you vote for either of us at the tribal council, the other of us will tell everyone you have it." Something. ANYTHING. Anything other than, "You know this information that we've concluded you wouldn't want us to reveal before you have a chance to reveal it? Well, here's your chance to reveal it before we do." That is the worst thing -- the literally worst thing, just about -- that you could do. Telling on him at least makes him look shady. Not telling him at least gives you an information advantage. This gives you NOTHING.
When we come back from commercials, Alex and Mookie -- seriously, this is so awesome -- are running to make it back to camp in time to strong-arm Yau Man into nullifying their advantage over him. Hurry, hurry! Mookie explains in an interview that they were giving Yau Man "an ultimatum." See, an ultimatum is usually something you give in order to force someone to give you something you want. Here, why do they want him to tell everyone? What is the possible advantage of him telling everyone versus them telling everyone? Why are they trying to pressure him to do what's worse for them? IT MAKES NO SENSE. This does not keep them from knuckle-chucking each other as they run toward camp.
Okay, but here's the really good part. The really, really good part. Remember the shitty plan that Cassandra and Stacy overheard, forcing Mookie and Alex to abandon it in favor of an even more shitty plan? It turns out that Cassandra and Stacy couldn't really hear anyway. They were eavesdropping, and they caught a few words, but they're like, "Guh." They don't really know anything. It's pretty sweet.
All right. So now, Mookie and Alex are back at camp, breathless and hurried, and they pull Yau Man over and tell him the deal: they know he has the idol. "Now, do you want to tell the group yourself, or do you want us to do it?" Mookie says. And then he mock-casually takes a big bite of fruit, just like a high school bully would in the cafeteria. Yau Man asks why they think he has the idol. They tell him they saw it in his bag. He kind of smiles, and he's not sure what to do, and then he sort of shrugs and nods. "I thought you guys were getting firewood," he says with a smile. "So what do you want to do, Yau?" Alex asks. He's breaking the smugness-ometer right now. It's like the fact that Yau Man is uncomfortable here makes Alex think that this must be a great move. Which...isn't the case at all. It's true that it might be bad for Yau Man down the road in some nonspecific way involving "Dreamz" going bazoo over lack of trust or something, but none of that really affects Alex or Mookie right now.
You can kind of see Yau Man thinking this over and concluding that...he actually doesn't think it's that big a deal. "You guys do what you need to do," he says. Alex, caught off guard by Yau Man's failure to think this matters, is like, "Um, okay. WE WILL." Alex insists in an interview that Yau Man was "shocked," was thinking "holy crap," and now would not be able to use the idol the way he wanted to. Because, to cite the biggest untruth uniformly believed by contestants on this show, it's really bad in Alex-World for other people to know who found the idol. Note: not who's carrying it at tribal council, but who found it. Alex smugly insists that this will all make Yau Man "more of a target." Right. Because nothing makes people vote for you like knowing that they can't vote you off. In what might be my favorite moment of this generally awesome episode, Alex smugs at Yau Man, "It'll be interesting, won't it?" And Yau Man gives this some thought. "No, I don't think it'll change, actually, very much," he says. HA! That response is so brilliant, because...exactly. "Yeah, I think I'm past the phase where I absolutely have to have it," Yau Man says. In an interview, Yau Man basically repeats that he doesn't see this changing the outcomes very much, although for him personally, he now needs to reveal this information, because it's better coming from him than from them, as far as whether it makes anyone question whether they can trust him.
Yau Man takes a walk with Stacy, and he presents it to her perfectly: "Alex is trying to blackmail me." He goes on to explain how they dug through his bag and found the idol, and came to him all, "What are you going to do about it?" He manages to make it sound even more like bullying than it actually was -- and it already was very much bullying. Stacy's response is interesting: "He went through your bag, Yau Man?" As Yau Man explains this story to Cassandra and "Dreamz," Stacy says that her "heart is, like, hurting," and it turns out that the group pretty much has two beefs: they're not crazy about people going through Yau Man's stuff when he's not there, and they're not crazy about behavior that comes off like aggressive bullying, particularly when it's aimed at an older guy. There's no question in my mind that they'd have reacted at least somewhat differently if it were anyone else, but I think they all have a protective instinct about Yau Man a little, and they're sort of cringing at the idea that anybody would treat him like a playground runt and try to take his lunch money. They don't even seem to blanch very much at the fact that he has the idol; they just don't like the rest of the story.
This is the thing -- everybody knows that Earl and Yau Man are the ones in their group who repeatedly went to Exile Island. They don't seem surprised that there's more than one idol, to the point where I think they knew that. How surprised can they really be that Yau Man has one? Moreover, Yau Man can only use this to get to F4. Most of these people think they're going to F4 with Yau Man anyway. Get rid of Alex and Mookie, and you're at F6...that's two eliminations, neither of which were probably going to be aimed at Yau Man. So...what's the big deal? What's funny, of course, is that Yau Man himself tried to opportunistically peek in Sylvia's bag, back in the day, to look for the idol. But I think all of them would probably point out that (1) peeking isn't the same as rifling, and (2) Yau Man isn't Sylvia. Earl interviews that really, nobody cared about the idol -- the whole thing backfired totally on Alex and Mookie, because they came off as assholes. Earl does say that he still would have preferred to keep the information quiet for the time being. Predictably, "Dreamz" is the one who decides that maybe he should freak out about this, since everyone with an idol is dangerous. "It's going to change a whole bunch of stuff," "Dreamz" says, although if you ask him in five minutes, he'll probably say something completely different.
Alex and Mookie discuss the fact that the Earl-liance is deep in conversation, which means they must have at least caused "dissension." They are wrong, of course. They have caused a big powwow over how much they suck to happen. Yau Man interviews that the bad outcome would be for Mookie or Alex to win immunity, and for them to successfully pull "Dreamz" and Boo over, creating a chaotic 4-4 tie. I agree with him that that's the only bad scenario, but I really, really don't think it will happen, partly because nobody likes a tie.
Challenge course. Jeff brings back Boo, who looks like he's been on vacation. Jeff takes back individual immunity from Yau Man and takes back the necklace. They are all seated on a long bench with their backs to a screen, and behind the screen is a grid of squares. They are each choosing three squares in a row -- horizontal, vertical, or diagonal -- and those squares will basically be like their ship in a game of Battleship. Then they'll call out coordinates for a square, and they'll hit whoever has chosen that square. People's ships can overlap, so you may hit more than one person at a time. Of course, if you're good enough, you can pay attention to the hits that are called out and figure out where there might be more hits. There are twenty-five squares, so it feels like keeping track would be tough, but not impossible. When your squares have all been hit, your battleship is sunk, and you're out of the game.
When we see the squares that have been chosen, it turns out that only Alex has not gone diagonally -- he's gone horizontally instead. "Dreamz" takes the first shot, which hits Boo and Alex...and "Dreamz" himself. Good one. The way the markers actually fall on the course is that Jeff cranks up a torch that shoots fire up the pole marking the square, and each name plaque hanging there is gradually dropped when its thread burns. Dramatic! Cassandra hits Yau Man and...herself. The hell? Whatever. There's not that much to say about this challenge, because I'm not sure anyone is playing all that strategically. Stacy has a highlight when she takes a square that's already been picked. But then she has a real highlight when she wins the challenge by choosing a square that she selected herself, but that the only other two remaining players -- Alex and Yau Man -- also selected, so she knocks them both out while she knocks out only her second of three posts. Jeff calls this "a good strategic move," which it maybe was. Anyway, she wins individual immunity. Alex shakes his head. How could this have happened to him? HOW? The group heads back to camp.
Back from commercials, we are at Bula Bula on Day 30. Mookie and Alex share some of the Fruit Of The Condemned. Alex admits in an interview that he doesn't really have much left that he can do, but he's still fighting. These guys agree that they "have nothing to be but honest." Yeah, I'm sure their truth-telling will change everything. The problem that these guys have, really, is that they've been soundly thumped by a bunch of mostly nice people who are being mostly up-front with each other, and who are led by people they like who are not secretly working to screw them. There's not a lot to say. You lost. Go home. Alex is determined to "cause some hell." In fact, he says, "If I'm going down, I'm bringing hell with me." You're...bringing hell down? He needs to work on his vague threats, I'd say. Alex does the whole "I'm a lawyer" thing, which was my least favorite thing ever during the time I was one myself, and which never makes you sound good unless you're making fun of yourself or other lawyers, which he is not, but which I assure you I currently am. Alex insists that as a lawyer (which he is), he's used to "using information strategically." Which is so completely the polar opposite of what he did throughout this episode that it does become actually laughable. He's convinced that he can make all these people believe that "Yau Man can't be trusted." Yeah. Take that one to the bank, punk. Alex says that his argument will be, "These are the people you've aligned yourself with? Draw your own conclusions." Great argument: "Oh my God, you guys have aligned yourselves with Yau Man and Earl? How do you live with yourselves!"
Elsewhere, "Dreamz" tells Earl that he wants to oust Mookie on the theory that Mookie doesn't help around camp. I think we're past "getting firewood" as a reason to keep people around, to tell you the truth. Earl points out that Alex is a bigger immunity threat than Mookie, which means you'd want to get rid of him now. "Dreamz" insists that Alex won't win immunity anyway, and in a moment I love, Earl is basically like, "Hello, Stacy won immunity. It's not a meritocracy." Boo, eager to contribute, tells the Earl-liance that the new idol is buried at camp, and he's concerned that Mookie and Alex might have...stumbled over it? I don't know. I guess that's his argument. Earl doesn't see how they'd find it without a clue, but Boo thinks they shouldn't take any chances -- they can split their six votes between Mookie and Alex, and then if there's no idol, they can switch over to all Alex and get rid of him. But if there is an idol, it should send the non-idol-playing guy home. Boo explains how three of them will vote Mookie, and three will vote Alex. Earl is nervous about overcomplicating the situation, but he also seems reluctant to just overrule Boo, you know? ["In Boo's defense -- I know -- the clue did allude to the fact that the idol would just be hanging on a tree near camp. I wouldn't put it past Alex or Mookie to not be able to find the idol if it smacked them in the face, but why chance it?" -- Joe R] Earl clarifies in an interview that in the end, they do want it to be Alex who goes . He says that while the split wouldn't be his choice, he tries to do what's going to make people comfortable, rather than just manhandling everyone. For his part, Alex insists that he and Mookie will be "going out swinging."
Tribal council. Jeff brings in the jury. Sequester agrees with Edgardo, I'll say that much. Jeff misses the boat, I think, when he asks whether the reward challenge and the physicality displayed therein seemed to show any change in the game. Because...I would tend to say no. Alex starts his hell-raising by talking about how it really says something if people will rub mud in each other's eyes or trip them. Did we...see anything like that? If we did, I missed it. Alex refers to "Dreamz" and his "rats and snakes" from last week. Eh. Asked for his reflections on that challenge, Mookie says nothing interesting. He winds up talking about warring alliances, and seriously, everyone knows, dude. You're not revealing anything.
Mookie also winds up referencing the immunity idol that they "found," and Jeff gets him to admit that he and Alex went through Yau Man's stuff. Of course, Jeff points out that if you're going to go all "rats and snakes," you might want to admit that digging through people's stuff is probably rat/snake behavior its own self. Jeff asks Yau Man whether it's fair for people to dig through your bag if you leave it around, and Yau Man says that people expect some privacy, of course, but desperate people do desperate things, so he doesn't take it to heart. He also says, "It won't affect the outcome of the game for the few rounds." Jeff goes all, "Whoa, Nellie!" acting like this is a big statement. When, if you think about it, it's not that big of a deal. God. Asked to comment, Earl says (I think for show) that he was really pissed, and that up to that point, people had been more respectful of each other than to rifle through stuff.
Jeff asks "Dreamz" about the issue of trust. "Dreamz" says that once you get rid of Alex and Mookie, the rest of them will have to split up and turn on each other anyway. Jeff asks Alex if there are people who are threats who are "coasting" because they're not perceived to be threats. Alex says yes, but then he goes off on a different thing about how they'll all have to turn on each other...basically as "Dreamz" just said. "Whatever they did to get to that top six is going to come back and bite them in the ass. Karma has a funny way of working in this game, Jeff, and it's pretty immediate." Now, I ask you: what have these particular people -- especially Earl, Yau Man, and Cassandra -- done to get to the top six that's going to bite them? What? What is Alex talking about? What is going to harm Earl's karma? Or Boo's karma? It's amazing how Alex is just loath to admit that he was slam-dunkedly outplayed by people who didn't even lie and scheme. Alex actually says, "Remember past actions, because they foretell the future." I'm really regretful that nobody loudly went, "OOOOOOOH!" in a scary voice. Or said, "Okay, so...that means that in the future, you will do a series of dumb things that make no strategic sense? Good to know!" Seriously, Alex seemed to have this game knocked, like, two episodes ago. I don't know what happened with him and Stacy or whatever, but if Alex had acquired Mookie and "Dreamz" and held onto the people he was originally aligned with -- Stacy, Boo, and Edgardo -- he would have had a 6-4 advantage as of the merge. It's interesting, because my sense is that something happened that alienated Boo from Alex, and it was probably Alex's fault (just based on odds), and if that's the case, then it was a very expensive mistake. I also think part of it is just that Boo likes Earl and Yau Man and goes partly by that, in which case Earl and Yau Man are reaping large benefits for carefully not being assholes.
Time for voting. Earl votes. Boo votes. Cassandra votes. Mookie votes for Boo: "Nothing personal; someone needs to go." Stacy votes. Yau Man votes. "Dreamz" votes. And then Alex votes -- for Mookie. Oooooh. "Just trying to stay in this another day, buddy." Jeff returns with the votes, and nobody plays the immunity idol. The first vote is for Alex. Then Alex. Then Mookie. Boo. Mookie. So two to two to one. Mookie. Alex. So now, it's 3-3-1. And the last vote, of course, is for Mookie. So Alex did indeed do one thing that made sense this week -- he voted against Mookie and ruined the plan to create a tie. I'm fairly sure he didn't realize how important it would be when he did it, but it worked nevertheless. Mookie doesn't give Alex any love on his way over to be snuffed. Poor Mookie. Betrayed practically every week! He waves to everyone and leaves. Jeff tells us that there are six people on one side, and Alex on the other side -- this makes Alex either irrelevant or a swing vote. Thanks for the help, Jeff.
Mookie says he's relieved, but he wishes he could still be there to make everyone's lives miserable. He really says this.
time: Alex is a ninja. Boo is annoying.