Some of the most inept strategizing of all time marks the merge between Casaya and La Mina. With his team down 6-4 and a target on his back, Terry somehow convinces himself that Cirie and Bruce will want to switch over and be the low men on his six-person totem pole instead of the low men on someone else's six-person totem pole. Because he offers absolutely nothing as bait, he gets no takers. (Hint: Offer them something better than F6, dipwad.) When we make it to the immunity challenge, Terry once again fails to realize that he has one opportunity to boot a member of Casaya, which is to give up immunity, allow them to vote for him, throw down the idol, and get rid of, say, Shane. Thus, Terry gets immunity so that they doubly can't vote him off, meaning that Nick is thrown out in his place. Prepare for a very, very dry three-week Pagonging, as we learn once again that when people actually play this game correctly, it's not very interesting.
Previously on Long, Long Ago, There Were New Episodes: Shane wanted out of the Alliance of Suck, but first, he had to get his son's name back. Courtney and Chiclets were so eager to return said son's name that it almost hit Shane in the forehead when they hurled it back at him. Sally was up a creek over at La Mina, but when Casaya won the challenge and sent her to Exile Island, she was miraculously saved. Very Pale Dan was the unfortunate recipient of the votes of the rest of his reluctant Boys' Club, and our astronaut experienced a crash landing. Also, Shane had a cigarette, the smoking of which was just not a pretty sight, as it called to mind every really disgusting story of addiction you have ever seen, including the ones on Intervention. Ten left. Who will go ?
Credits. It's the short credits again. Apparently, there is no love for the roll call anymore.
We are at Casaya on Night 15, and as usual, it's raining. I'm not sure I've ever seen a camp as persistently soaked as this one. It's like whatever spirits live there are actively trying to wash them out, for which I could not blame them. Spirits do not have access to conventional restraining orders. The team is huddled in the shelter to escape the rain and cold, but Courtney has found herself the odd woman out. Apparently, Shane is resisting her efforts to snuggle, as she protests, "I have, like, an arm on you." "Courtney, that's good, but..." She gets the hint, and rolls away in the other direction. She asks if she can have a little more of the blanket if Shane's that determined not to let him touch her, but he doesn't budge. She protests that she's cold, "but whatever." I don't know. What's the use of being a fire dancer if you can't dance and make fire? If she were a rain dancer, I wouldn't expect her to be whining all, "I'm thirsty." Of course, maybe she's just a bad fire dancer. Like, she dances, and the lights flicker, or the garage door opens.
The morning, a river runs through the Casaya camp as Courtney, tightly wrapped in a blanket, complains to the rest of the group about the way Shane shut her out until she was practically freezing. She interviews that it was "the worst night [she] ever had," because she got so cold and so soaked. She clearly is really put out about the fact that everybody else kept each other warm, while she was left out. As she hangs wet things up to dry, she says that her "inners" (she may say "innards," which is still funny) aren't even warm yet. "Everything I own is soaked," she says meaningfully to the now-present Shane, who does not feel guilty, because that would require activation of the gene for compassion, which he does not have. Courtney then talks sort of sadly to Chiclets -- in a way that has an oddly personal twinge for something that involves Shane -- about how he was totally unsympathetic, just elbowing her as she tried to get warm. "I cannot trust Shane," she interviews, "and I don't want to deal with him anymore." She retells the story of herself and Chiclets welcoming him to leave the alliance, but rest assured: this has nothing to do with the rest of the episode, and you don't need to remember it. Which is good, because being repeatedly confronted with the fact that there was someone somewhere who was unhappy about not cuddling up to Shane would totally freak me out.
Aras and Shane -- who have apparently become brothers since the times when Aras used to sit around and talk about what a complete psycho Shane was -- sit down to have a chat. Aras tells Shane, in a way that may or may not be sarcastic, that he "loves" the way Bruce carefully cleans up the Zen rock garden every morning. Indeed, Bruce is carefully rearranging things (LOOK OUT FOR FALLING METAPHORS!), and he voices over that he is a bit of an outsider in the existing Casaya arrangement, and just wants to get to the merge, where everything will change. If, having seen the rest of the episode, you reflect on that comment, it will strike you as kind of funny. Because apparently, Bruce does not intend to take advantage of the merge in any way whatsoever, so I'm not sure what he thinks is going to change. Maybe he just thinks that the larger number of people means that somebody will fucking appreciate his fucking garden.
We now join Sally, who is still out on Exile Island. She reminds us that her being sent there was her "saving grace," because of the way she was doomed to be eliminated the night otherwise. She tells us that she has been spending some time looking for the idol, though she acknowledges that Terry may have it, of course. "Maybe I'll get lucky," she says. Frankly, her efforts to find it look half-hearted enough that I'm not sure she's trying very hard.
La Mina. Day 16. The remaining boys are not particularly happy about their situation following the departure of Very Pale Dan who, I realize, seems to have left about a year and a half ago, but actually left last night. Austin interviews that he's nervous about how things are going to go from this point, because the timing of the merge will affect how the remaining LaMinans will fare. Presumably, they're hoping not to go into the merge down 6-4, which means they want there to be one more immunity challenge. There has historically been some elasticity over the run of the series in precisely when the merge happens, so it's not an unrealistic hope. Of course, it will now be thwarted, like every hope and dream La Mina has had at any time since the game began, pretty much. The bad news begins with the mail Terry brings back to show to the boys. It instructs the La Minans to inspect their back beach for something that doesn't belong there. Like, presumably, the smell of victory. Austin interviews that, with instructions in hand, he feels that they should "get it on," like Marvin Gaye said. I'm not sure Marvin Gaye meant "let's get it on" in the "follow a written clue and search the beach for another written clue" kind of way, but all right. As they walk to the beach, the guys are all in agreement that they hope what they find will turn out to be food. I don't really understand what these guys are eating. It's still the famous beans, I guess, but I can't imagine their systems are not getting severely screwed. There haven't been a lot of eating rewards yet, and there hasn't apparently been any luck with fishing, despite the fishing kit, so they are hard up, like, to the point where I'm sure they're all envisioning each other turning into big hams.
Instead of food, the members of La Mina find a boat tied up at the edge of the water. The boat contains a load of firewood, which is kind of random -- I wonder if Production was worrying that the new tribe was really going to get in trouble as a result of the lack of dry wood over at flooded-out Casaya. Anyway, there is also a big crate, and there's a note that tells them not to open the crate until they're together with everybody over at camp Casaya -- so this, they figure out, is the merge. They don't play nearly as coy with the merge as they used to -- now it's really just "You guys, go over there." Nick interviews that he's happy about the merge, because everybody will be getting together, and there will be new people and so forth. I think Nick may actually mean this, which means he is totally overestimating the people he's going to find over at Casaya. It's not like your universe gets a little brighter because you get to add Shane and Aras to your circle of acquaintances.
The La Minans pack up their tarp as Terry interviews that the merge could obviously be a total debacle if they aren't able to shift anyone at Casaya, because his team is down 6-4. His team may lose challenges a lot, but Terry is all over the counting. Terry's first targets for flipping, he explains, are Bruce and Shane. He goes on to add that his "ace in the hole" is that he's holding the immunity idol -- though it's not clear quite where he's holding it at the moment. Seriously, I'm curious. The outfits don't really have pockets. Where would you hide such a thing? What do you get to keep around camp that nobody ever looks under or messes with? There's no cookie jar. Terry says that he hopes not to have to use the secret hairy idol until F4. "But if I need to use that thing strategically," he says, "then I'll do it." This struck me as an incredibly dumb comment when he made it, because...like, what's the other option? "Before F4, I won't use it, even if it means I'm voted off!" But I guess that, in theory, given what we learn later, "use it strategically" could mean giving it away. Of course, you'd think that if Terry were open to that, it would have occurred to him that this was the week to do it.
The three remaining men of La Mina take off in the boat to paddle over to the Casaya camp. Austin promises us that he's entirely prepared for "bobbin' and weavin' like Sugar Ray Leonard." Which is awesome, because during his boxing career, I understand that Sugar Ray Leonard often talked about how he was ready to get out there and vote somebody's ass out.
Behold the mighty frog, how it leaps out of the way before it can be eaten.
Casaya. Still Day 16. The six who remain are sitting around the fire, and according to Courtney, nobody feels like doing much of anything. They are having some rice, I suppose, although I'm not sure that counts as an activity. Suddenly, they look out on the water and see the boat full of La Mina approaching. "We knew they were hungry," Aras says, "and all of us just chowed the rice." God, they are such assholes. It has always been my opinion about this show that it takes a special kind of jackass to try to get an advantage by depriving other people of their share of the basic food that the show provides. When you see those people coming, and you have rice left, you share it with them, because now, you're all living together, and everyone is entitled to a share of the food. I have no more patience for this than I would have for someone secretly cooking rice for himself or herself and taking it away from the group. Play the game as hard as you want, but you don't take food out of other people's mouths when you know they're hungry. Especially when you know, as these people do, that the people you're taking it from need it more than you do. Trying to eat it all before they can land on the beach is basically trying to starve other people on a technicality. Hell with that. As many people who fancy themselves superior human beings often do, Aras thinks he can fix what they did by acknowledging that they did it. So in a way he would like to pass off as legitimately sheepish, he says, "We're heathens, and we didn't want to share." Oh, Aras. It doesn't make you heathens; it makes you assholes. Learn the difference. And you're not sheepish. You're clearly vegan lamb substitute.
Shane now performs a new authoritarian-daddy function we have never seen until this week, bringing the group over for a little jabbering. He gives a pep talk about how he's proud of all of them for getting themselves to this point, blah blah. He tells them that they'll all stay together, and they'll all get to the top six. A revoltingly smug Aras talks about how they're just going to get rid of the other group. There's just...there's got to be a way to do this that isn't quite so obnoxious, but Aras certainly is not going to be the one to find it. I also enjoy the part where the boat finally comes ashore, and when Aras greets Nick, Aras's shorts are hanging so low that they have to pixelize his ass. Seriously, dude, pull your goddamn pants up. It's not spring break. Aras explains to us that his concern at first was Bruce, who has a certain bond with Terry. Bruce, for his part, tells us that he's "excited to have new faces around." I would too, if I were around Shane and Aras. And Chiclets and Courtney. Bruce confirms that he and Terry "respect each other," and that it's good "to be with him again." Maybe now he can fight Terry instead of relying on imaginary enemies to help him get to sleep.
And then, here comes the boat carrying Sally back from Exile Island, completing the new merged tribe. She talks about how Bruce was first to come out and greet her on her arrival, and then they had this crate to open. First, the crate contains new buffs, a new flag, and paint to decorate it. They'll have to pick a name and make their flag in what is usually the dweebiest part of a season of this show, aside from the March Of Dead Survivors. And as they all are hoping from the minute they cracked the crate open, there are drinks and snacks to celebrate the merge, although it doesn't look like the bounty is nearly as bountiful as it has sometimes been -- like, I'd be thrilled to see cheese and crackers and fruit, too, but I'd rather have chickens and whole pigs and all the other stuff that sometimes accompanies feasts. It's a little disheartening to starve for two weeks and then be asked if you want a snack. Aras explains about the fruit, the cheese and crackers, the chocolates, and -- of course -- the wine. "I kinda wanted to slap myself for eating all that rice before they got there," he says. I do appreciate the universe's decision to administer this tiny karmic whap on my behalf. "I am a glutton right now, and it feels spectacular," Sally says. Heh. Embrace those deadly sins! Terry interviews that he was impressed with how nicely they were welcomed; I guess he thought that the intent to vote them off would translate into open hostility.
, everyone works on coming up with a shelter that's big enough for the entire group. "It's hard to tell," Shane voices over, "but I think that Terry does not have the immunity idol." You can see why they'd put him in charge. "So the time he doesn't get immunity, he's out." Aras and Shane's talk sprouts from nothing but jealousy, as Aras says, "We'll let Captain America take the lead," and Shane says, "We'll let Terry build it and then we'll vote him off." As if you have the choice of building it yourself. Shane just could not be a bigger tool. Terry, for his part, reminds us that he's just "looking for two people" so that La Mina can swing the game.
Terry's approach to Bruce goes something like this: "We think you might get voted off. So if you join us, you can stay for a while longer." In other words, he makes it sound like he wants Bruce to think that the Casaya group isn't staying together even at the beginning, but is going to vote off Bruce. In other words, Terry is trying to break an alliance he knows exists by suggesting to one of the people who is in it that it doesn't exist. That is not very bright. "You come over," Terry says meaningfully, "and we -- we -- will go to the final five." So basically, Terry is trying to offer Bruce F5 instead of F6 if he stays with Casaya? Really? That's the offer? The opportunity to come in fifth? As Terry and Bruce are talking, Shane interviews that he does see Bruce as the one potential flipper. "He might have some issues with wanting to be accepted by Terry," Shane explains sensitively. Shane says that his strategy is to make Bruce feel like he's the leader of Casaya so that he'll stay with them.
So in furtherance of this plan, when Bruce comes over to the fire, Aras and Shane lay upon him the least convincing display of flattery that I have ever seen from someone not attempting to obtain sex. It's basically two guys saying "You the man!" over and over again. Aras is like, "You run this show!" and Shane says, "You're the senior member of the tribe, buddy." Can Bruce really believe that? Whether Bruce is falling for this nonsense is not really clear from the interview in which he refers to himself as "the swing vote." He says that he's in "this power position," and now he's happy, because he'll "go a lot further." Which...it seems to me that Bruce is choosing between being the bottom person in one group or being the bottom person in another group. I'm not sure that's a huge power position in terms of whether he can win or "go a lot further." I think It's a power position as to whether, say, either Terry or Sally wins or either Aras or Chiclets wins. But whatever Bruce does, he's still pretty much screwed at about F5 or F6. He claims to have "the best options" out of everyone, but he's just wrong. Being the only person still trying to decide what to do doesn't necessarily give you the "best options."
Aras works with Sally on making a fire by shielding it from the driving rain with a tribe flag. Elsewhere, Bruce works with the La Mina boys on propping up the shelter, and Terry once again promises Bruce F5 if he comes with them. Cirie and Chiclets spy this conversation from afar and wonder what all those guys are talking about. They know there's some chance that Bruce might flip, meaning they actually both underestimate and overestimate Bruce in this weird way.
And then, this thing happens. What happens is that as they're building the shelter, Nick is using a machete to cut some rope, but he's cutting up through the rope, in precisely the way you would never, ever want to use a machete. Moreover, Bruce is bent over the rope at the time, so when the machete pops up unexpectedly, it smacks Bruce in the lip, which is probably one of the least damaging outcomes of those that were possible. As it turns out, Bruce has chipped a tooth and has cut a gash in his lip. "Neither of us were really thinking, I guess," Nick states. Or, understates. Nick talks about what a "sickening sound" it was, and then he says, "Initially, I'm like, 'I'm gone! I just hit Bruce in the face with a machete. I'm out of here.'" Seriously. If it had been Shane, Nick might have made F2. The rest of the group wonders if Bruce needs to go off and get some medical attention, but he doesn't want to leave the game. I'm sure they had him looked at nonetheless. Shane explains that he, of course, worried about this in terms of how it would affect the alliance and their "numbers." Well, sure he did. He would. Bruce talks about how bad Nick felt, going on and on about how much worse it could have been. Of course, Nick was doing the cutting, dude; you were the one with your face by the blade of the machete, you know? You're supposed to be this really knowledgeable guy; I'd think that somewhere in your training, they'd have told you to be careful where blades are pointed, much as they told us when we did a carving project in my sixth-grade art class. (As a result of which I got three stitches in my finger.) (Shut up.)
We then get to watch Bruce paint the flag. Apparently, he's an art teacher, so he does a very fancy flag for the new tribe, called "Gitanos," which is Spanish for "gypsies." There's no question that the flag he creates is by far the fanciest and loveliest that the show has ever seen, so good for him. Or, you know, good for him, to the extent that you think making good tribe flags is the best part of the show. It's like watching the Olympics for the bobsled uniforms.
Behold the colorful bird. Awk, awk!
Austin and Aras are taking a walk, looking for...firewood, maybe? Anyway, Austin tells Aras that Terry had this theory that perhaps they could all, you know, get together. Because Terry knows he's a target. "Yeah, he's first one out," Aras says casually and idiotically, considering that Terry's possible possession of the idol means that they should never, ever tell La Mina who's going . Austin pushes harder, inquiring about whom Aras is close to on Casaya. Aras gives...not at all the response Austin is hoping for, when he says that he's good with everybody. Austin interviews with a grin that it quickly became clear that cracking anything open over at Casaya was not going to be easy. I love watching guys like Aras and Austin strategize against each other. It's a battle to see who's less meandering, like watching two raindrops make their way down a window.
Now, Terry tries his approach on Shane. He explains how...well, again, he's offering Shane nothing but F6. I think it's actually a worse offer than he made to Bruce, plus he tells Shane to come over with Cirie, not Bruce, and as far as we know, Bruce hasn't answered yet, so he's now offering half the Casaya alliance his faithfulness. He's offering to make a seven-person alliance when there are ten people left. That's not going to work, especially on the ones who are already part of a six-person alliance. Terry keeps talking about how this would keep Shane and Cirie safe "for the two weeks," and it's really dumb, because it's not clear whether he's talking about two actual weeks (meaning, like, four more votes after this one), in which case it...wouldn't keep them safe that long, or talking about two votes, in which case it would keep them safe longer than that. It makes him sound addled, and not exactly like he has the whole thing knocked. Shane interviews that the "desperation" is a little obvious. "Why would we want to join your tribe, homey?" he wonders to the camera, talking about how his tribe is just going to knock them all off and so forth. Shane magnanimously allows that he would be doing the same thing in Terry's position. That's certainly how I judge my behavior. WWSD?
Now, Terry makes the same approach to Cirie -- that she and Shane can join the La Minans for...apparently no benefit to her whatsoever. I will now steal a description of this offer from the friend who described it to me this week like this: "Leave your combustible alliance of self-destructive dimbulb flakes and join our tight-knit alliance of buff men! You can totally come in sixth!" It's very true, no? Cirie interviews that this entire thing is sort of laughable to her, because he has nothing to bargain with. She's getting pretty cocky with her comparison to a dictionary salesman working on someone who already owns an encyclopedia (and...you know, people have been known to make use of both of those references, Cirie), but Terry opened himself up to it by making approaches that were that lame.
Terry just appears to have no understanding of the fact that in order to get people to do something, you have to convince them that it's in their interests. How hard is that to get? Nobody's going to jump to your alliance unless they're going to do better if they do. If he was going to convince Cirie and Bruce to join, he needed to offer them something better than "glom onto the bottom of our group." He needed to go out on a limb and offer them something more like at least F4. Cut the boys out, tell Bruce and Cirie that once it gets down to six, they'll knock off the boys and go to F4 with him and Sally. Do something besides just offer them the same deal they already have. In a sense, though, what makes Casaya a hard alliance to break is the chaotic nature of it. When an alliance has a clear pecking order, you can get people from the bottom of it, because they know that they're screwed otherwise. If Bruce and Cirie both knew for sure they would go, because the other four had a solid, lasting F4 alliance, then they might well be amenable to an offer from Terry about F4 with, say, him and Sally. But the disorganization of the Casaya group really means that to a great degree, nobody really knows what will happen when they get down to six. Shane and Aras act like the leaders, but I actually think they have the most enemies and might go first. Or Bruce might go first. Or Courtney might go first. Nobody really knows how that alliance is organized, so it's very hard to break, because it really is a relatively shapeless group of six people. They're protecting themselves by being simpletons, which is kind of ironically awesome.
Later, around the fire with the four LaMinans and Shane and Cirie, Terry looks at Shane and is all, "Are you in?" And Shane, bless his heart, is funny for once as he's basically like, "In what?" Seriously. Terry tries to argue his case, but Shane makes it clear that the case, she is closed. Terry interviews that his plans appear to be coming to nothing, but that he's still hoping to convince someone. There's got to be someone who will give you something for nothing!
Immunity challenge. Jeff brings in the tribe and shows its members a series of horizontal posts. In this immunity challenge, you just crawl up and hang, bat-like, by your arms and knees wrapped around the post, until you can't stay up anymore. Last person to drop gets immunity. I love a cerebral challenge.
Everyone climbs up and gets situated around the poles. Ready? Go. Three minutes in, Cirie says that her arms are already hurting. Jeff reminds her not to drop onto her head. She lets her legs down first and is out.
A bit later, Jeff starts to talk about sore muscles, and Courtney -- who used to be a serious gymnast -- lets herself down to hang by her legs for a bit. It's probably not a bad idea, in terms of preventing yourself from cramping up, provided you know you can get back up. Weirdly, the person out is Aras, who did not apparently develop quite the studliness you might expect from Yoga Dude. He lasted eleven minutes. They should have told him it was a position called the Serene Monkey; he'd have stayed there all day. Bruce drops at twelve minutes. Sally drops shortly thereafter. Shane starts whining for a food reward, and Jeff says that nothing is coming. Knowing this, Shane then drops at thirteen minutes, followed by Danielle and Courtney.
So what do you know? That leaves Austin, Terry, and Nick. There's a shocker. Austin starts to try to tell Terry to get down, and I'm not sure what that's about at all, unless Austin is trying to raise the suspicion that Terry has the hidden idol. Otherwise, why would he ever think that Terry would give immunity to him when Terry's the presumptive target? Jeff starts to talk about how risky it is to give up immunity, and...Terry isn't going to do that, Jeff. At thirty minutes, it's very hot, and the three men are still hanging. But...there goes Austin. So now, it's Nick and Terry.
Now. Think strategy with me for a moment. Terry does not have a good chance of winning every single immunity challenge from here until the end of the game. That's seven more consecutive challenges after this one. It certainly looks likely that the members of Casaya will vote him off the first chance they get, particularly if he lets them kick off one of the other La Minans this week. Terry also does not have the protection of the hidden idol once they get to F4, so unless he won immunity there, he would be a particularly appealing vote-off target for a 3-1 Casaya group, which would know that no one on Casaya would be likely to beat Terry in a vote. In other words, if Terry solely tries to get through the game on the brute force of winning individual immunity and using the idol, he has very poor odds of making F2. It's not impossible, but it's really bad odds. Terry desperately needs to get rid of somebody from Casaya. Right now, swinging a clearly torn Bruce is not enough, because it would only end in a tie. But if Terry could get to 5-4, I think he'd have a shot -- at least a shot -- with Bruce. And Terry is in fact staring at, in all likelihood, the chance to get rid of somebody from Casaya. He knows that he's the target -- they've already sent him to Exile Island twice, and they know he's a challenge threat, and they've told Austin that Terry's their target. If he doesn't win immunity, they're going to vote for him. And if they vote for him and he produces the idol, La Mina can choose whom they vote off from Casaya. As appealing as the idea was, to me, of them to voting off Shane at first, it's clear that what they actually need to do is vote off Aras, who is the only person who seems to show any leadership without attendant insanity. You vote off Aras, and all of a sudden, that group looks like it's made up of Courtney (who has no real allies), Chiclets and Cirie (who seem to kind of like each other), and Shane (who is...Shane). That is a much, much weaker group without Aras standing over them all pretending to be the gentle leader.
SO. What Terry needs to do here is not win immunity. Winning immunity means that a La Minan will be voted off for sure, which basically dooms Terry, unless he manages to win every immunity challenge from here until the end of the game. Losing immunity means an excellent shot at voting off a Casayan, followed by a decent shot at changing the nature of the game. Sure, winning immunity is always the short-term safe play, and there's something to be said for "just get to the tribal council" as a strategy. But in this situation? No. It's too clear what's going to happen if things go the way they look like they're going to. I think Terry will, later on, regret not just dropping off the pole and engineering the ouster of Aras. Now that would have been strategy.
But, of course, that doesn't happen. At forty-six minutes, Nick finally drops, and Terry wins individual immunity, thus throwing away the best chance he had to make some headway and screw with a seemingly impenetrable alliance. Good one, genius.
We return to find the tribe sadly returning to camp. Well, Nick and Austin are sad, anyway. Terry talks about how great it is to have the hidden idol, although he says, "Hopefully, I won't have to use it." Huh? Did he give this interview before he won the challenge? I hope so, or he's not as bright as we'd all like to think. And then there's some bullshit conversation where Terry compliments Bruce on his karate or something, and I don't know what that's about except for some truly and honestly random sucking-up. Bruce interviews that he has a bond with Terry, who's a "stand-up guy," and that Bruce feels stuck between the tribes. "I'm glad they have a high respect for me," he says. I guess he...kind of does buy the routine that Shane and Aras were selling him, huh?
Austin interviews that he's sure he's the one who's going. He asks Bruce to pray with him. Because sometimes God will intervene and keep you from being voted off, as you know. They hug, and Austin prays. Austin then explains that he intentionally tried to look weak at the challenge, figuring he'd probably lose to Terry and wanted not to be picked to go ahead of Nick. He concludes his hug with Bruce, voicing over that it was his plan to fool Casaya into thinking he was less awesome than he is, but now he's going home. Nick, for his part, says that he just wanted to make the jury, and now he knows that he and Austin will be to go, and he just hopes it's not him first, because he wants to make the jury. Aw. That's kind of endearing: "I know I'm doomed; I just want to make the jury." It's like a Lifetime movie where the lady just wants to find love before she dies. Poor Nick.
In front of La Mina, Shane makes a point of gathering the Casayans for a special secret meeting. Which is just dopey and stupid. They all stand in a little circle holding hands (oh, yes, I'm serious; it's like playing parachute games in middle school), and Shane lectures them about how proud he is of everyone, and when did this happen, that Shane is everyone's dad? Chiclets and Cirie both say they want to boot Nick, and Shane covers his bases by saying that he would pick Austin, but that if they think Nick, then that's fine. So very passive-aggressive, that move. Shane interviews that he thinks people are overreacting to Nick's performance in the challenge, but he doesn't really care. So there's Shane, going on the record as putting aside his usual deeply empathetic attitude toward others. The game is getting serious, people.
Back at the fire, La Mina muses on whether they would be as obnoxious and clubby and cliquish as Casaya is being. They think they wouldn't. "You can be cocky," Sally announces, "but it's cooler if you're not." Aw. She's so Midwestern. We don't brag about anything except how fucking cold it is. Nick interviews that Terry isn't very happy about the way Shane behaved about the team meeting, so they're going to vote for Shane. Since they've stupidly decided to throw that vote away, I guess it doesn't matter whom they decide to vote for. Terry mentions to Aras that there might have been a less obnoxious way to handle what they just did, and Aras gets all, "the situation is the situation," even though he is exactly the guy who would make the argument Terry is making if the situation were reversed. Shane gives a big speech explaining that he doesn't care what La Mina thinks about anything, as if he hasn't already made that abundantly clear. "They can have as big a problem as they want; they're still going," he struts. Shane says that, barring "psychotic episodes" involving Bruce, they should be fine at tribal council. As if the risk of psychotic episodes isn't the phone call coming from inside the house, Shane-wise.
Speaking of tribal council, here everyone comes to take their seats. When they're situated, Jeff asks Courtney about the name of the tribe, and she explains it to him. He asks Terry whether the merge was good or bad news. Terry, to the surprise of no one, says that he was hoping there would be one more immunity challenge before the merge so that there wouldn't be such a power imbalance. Asked about how to "change what appears to be inevitable," Nick says that all you can do is find out who the weak players are and exploit them. Jeff then asks Bruce about the fact that he has interactions with everyone, and Bruce talks about the respect he has for everyone, trying desperately to be noncommittal.
Jeff asks Nick about fighting for immunity, and Nick can only say that he desperately wanted to stay, and that was his thought. Austin, on the other hand, decides to confess his decision to "act like [he] couldn't hang." Jeff asks whether this means that he had a strategy to look weak, and Austin says yes. Why he would explain this is beyond me. I guess he really does think he's being voted out and it won't matter? It's otherwise an awfully strange decision. Not only do you not want to give up your particular strategy, but you don't really want people thinking that you have the capacity for strategy if you're capable of making yourself seem blank and dumb. Which Austin certainly is.
Jeff moves on to Shane, hassling him about the fact that once there was no food, he dropped to the ground. Shane can only explain that his group has all the power, so why would he waste his energy? Aras tells Jeff that he's not particularly worried about the cockiness of his group, but that he is worried about who might have the immunity idol. Jeff starts to poll the Casaya members on how surprised they would be if anyone flipped and voted with the La Minans, and they all say they'd be shocked -- or, in Cirie's case, "flabbergasted."
Now, Jeff points out that Terry has immunity, and that several of them have been to Exile Island, so whether that will come into play, we will have to see. Nick is up first. He votes. Sally votes. Austin votes for Shane, erroneously referring to him as a "cool guy." Terry votes. Cirie votes. Shane votes. Aras votes. Chiclets votes. Courtney votes for Nick, saying that she's "really sad." Bruce votes.
Jeff earns a little love by reading all four of the votes for Shane first. Shane is indeed a little twitchy, but the six votes go for Nick, so Nick is gone. Jeff points out that Nick has not been to Exile Island, so unless someone has given him the idol, he's done. Wait, you can give away the idol? Did we know that? Did they decide that before right now? I hate it when the rules are arbitrary, dammit. Nick gets up, hugs Austin, and walks over to be snuffed. Jeff sends everyone back to camp.
Nick's goodbye speech involves telling the youth of America to go out and do really awesome things, or something. It's kind of like that non-profit organization Andrew Shue started. Nick wants you to follow your dreams. Unless you dream of Andrew Shue, in which case: don't.
week: Terry decides that when you're down 6-3, that's the time to make your strategic move. Casaya keeps bickering. Somebody calls Aras stupid, and he objects, which he shouldn't do.