So the show gets kind of awesome all of a sudden, because everyone begins to realize the implications of stupidity. Specifically, Courtney, Aras, and Danielle begin to wonder whether being in an alliance with crazy Shane is such a great idea after all. Cirie, President Beefcake, and the recently added Bruce are outnumbered at Casaya, but it's not clear how long that will last. The reward challenge goes to La Mina, which wickedly sends Bruce back to Exile Island again, giving him lots of time to be rained on but not much time for idol-hunting. The immunity challenge turns out to be ridiculously great in this sick way, because it's wrestling. No, really -- wrestling. Girls and boys all rolling around and kneeing each other in the back and grabbing each other and sitting on each other and so forth. Amazing! After Ruth Marie executes the worst run in history and is literally brought down by her tank top courtesy of President Beefcake, Casaya takes immunity, leaving the non-sucking team to get rid of someone. Back at camp, Austin and Nick are being pulled back and forth between the Sally/Misty and Dan/Terry factions, meaning that the thing for them to do is remain noncommittal by booting Ruth Marie, but they don't. Instead, they align with the boys for good by getting rid of Misty, who will go home and make out with fruit. Good times.
Previously on Ow! Quit It: Shane realized that he shared with viewers the opinion that there was no reason for him to be in Panama, but he was not able to share with viewers the experience of throwing rotten vegetables at himself. And more's the pity, really, because it is fun. After the tribes shuffled and the season's gimmick was abandoned like a shoe by the side of the road running by Mark Burnett's ego, Shane briefly experienced a surge of motivation, but it passed quickly, and he started talking about quitting again. You have to admire his stick-to-it-iveness about being a puss. After Casaya lost the immunity challenge, Shane asked to be voted off, but Aras did some kind of tricky mental yoga fu on him, and he returned to the tribe, where he and Aras gave Cirie and Melinda the bad news that they could just take their Geritol and their walkers and get going. Bug off, blue-hairs! Nobody ever said being an old lady was going to be easy. Melinda was the unfortunate soul chosen to go, meaning that she is the official second victim of what I am sure will be this season's most crushing experience -- Gone Before Shane. (Fortunately for Tina, she wasn't really around to know the insult of it all.) Meanwhile, Bruce spent some time on Exile Island, and Sally lost the fishing spear -- which, it turns out, does not float. In other words, things were actually happening, which is more than can be said for many seasons at this early stage.
Credits. Well, an incredibly abbreviated version of the credits. Credititos. I didn't know there was a shrunken credit sequence. I personally believe that the credits were shortened to allow more footage of people with their faces stuffed in each other's asses, but we'll get to that.
It is Night 6, and Casaya is returning from tribal council. President Beefcake reminds us all that Bruce was "inserted" into the tribe when Melinda left. That must have hurt. Bruce asks the tribe, in a knowing way, where the water is, and somebody asks him in a not-knowing way whether he's good with fire. He tells them that they don't need fire; they need water. Bruce, with crazy night-vision eyes, interviews that he could see that the tribe all had "good hearts," but that they were suffering from dehydration, and he knew they needed his "skills and knowledge." Well, two out of three. Bruce gives the tribe the fairly exciting news that he taught wilderness survival for thirty years. Huh. That does seem like a slight advantage. And then he has to ruin it by saying, "You just got the most important person of everybody." Lord. He might have an argument for his own importance at this precise moment, but people who have watched very much Survivor over the years learned long ago that, contrary to the PR, this is not about surviving in the wilderness. If it were, you wouldn't exactly have seen Jenna Morasca run off with the victory, considering that I suspect she can barely survive in the bathtub. Bruce tells us that, as a result of all his teaching experience, he knows how to handle people. Apparently, telling them how much more important you are than anyone else is a good start. Make a note!
Bruce explains to the team that they're going to use a filtration system by pouring the water through six thicknesses of t-shirt, which will render it "90% pure." I'm not sure I would consider that pure enough for me on the say-so of someone I didn't know, but the tribe apparently decides to go along. Shane puts in his two sweaty cents by saying that Bruce is "incredibly neurotic." Yes, that makes Shane your mental diagnostician. Hey, they're building a new society; Probst says so at the beginning of every season. Somebody has to be in charge of rejuvenating the helping professions. Shane says that Bruce is constantly bringing up the fact that he's taught this and is certified in that: "I mean, of course it grates on my nerves." Of course, Shane is certified only in shit-fit-throwing, so you can see how he would feel threatened. I'm not even getting into the tiny tattoos yet. What Shane does with his grocery lists is not my problem.
Bruce filters some water for his tribe, as Aras explains that the entire group just sort of went along with it, even though they didn't know very much about it. Courtney expresses some concern to Bruce, calling herself "shocked and awed" that pouring water through a shirt will get bacteria out of it. Bruce tells her that it won't get all of it out, but that it will get most of it. And, really, brain-devouring amoebas in small numbers won't hurt you. President Beefcake explains in an interview what would probably be the most convincing thing to me about Bruce's routine, which is that Bruce was drinking the water himself, so he apparently at least believed himself to be right that it was safe to drink. ["Maybe Bruce has just never heard of Arnold Bennett." -- Wing Chun] President Beefcake also mentions that Bruce drank it and didn't die, which seems a little bit stupid, because it's not so much the instantaneous, Princess Bride death with the keeling over that's a problem here. It's the death three days later with your intestines hanging out of your navel and a badger crawling out of one of your eyes.
Bruce interviews that the tribe thought he was "a gift from heaven." You know, a little bit of that goes a long, long way. Very few people really want to hear a whole lot about your status as a gift from heaven. It's absolutely impossible for me to imagine a situation in which I would ever believe that letting that remark fly was a good idea. Back at camp, the members of Casaya all enjoy some 90% parasite-free water, which they do sorely need.
La Mina. Morning of Day 7. Behold the lowly snail, how he is slow but determined. And then behold Ruth Marie, smashing him with a big rock. It's the ciiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiife! It turns out that La Mina is making snail soup, because they have very little food so far. Ruth Marie tells us that it's really been just the snails and some crab legs. (My dad and I are taking that as a shout-out.) Misty thinks that the snails are nasty, and she's got the pukeface to prove it. Nick explains that the tribe is in rough shape, due to lack of food, and he's not sure where they'll be in another couple of days. He says that even a small number of fish would be "a whole 'nother ball game." He goes on to explain that their fishing equipment is "old-school" and "medieval" (heh), and that they have very little knowledge of how to use it. Strangle them, Nick! Strangle the fish! Nick and Austin are out on the raft together, and Nick has a fish on a line very close to the raft when the fish suddenly wriggles away, causing Nick to mightily restrain himself from swearing. Austin talks in an interview about the spear Sally lost and how much they'd love to have it, but surprisingly, when he says, "How did she lose that spear?," it comes off fairly good-natured, like he knows that things like that happen, but it still drives him nuts.
Behold the mighty pufferfish, how he...is poisonous, actually. We watch more fishing footage and learn that one of the tribe's problems is that, indeed, the fish they catch the most near camp is the pufferfish, which they can't eat, because they'll die. Hey, maybe if they made the fish swim through six layers of t-shirt first. Anyway: of course, the presence of only poisonous fish would be just as much of a problem if they had the spear, so it's certainly not only the lack of a spear that's hanging them up. Nick explains that spending hours out trying to catch non-fatal fish and not being successful is "getting really old."
But ahoy, Terry (who is currently resting precisely halfway between being the Tom Weston and being the Rupert) returns from a fishing trip with a single, very small fish. Austin adorably refers to this fish in an interview as "Nemo," explaining that it was truly itty-bitty, but that they were excited about it anyway. Just a hint: if you're going to eat it, don't name it after a cartoon. Just saying. "We have applauded that fish as if he'd caught a fourteen-pound catfish," Austin says with a good share of enthusiasm and a good share of disgust. Heh. They cook up the fish, and it turns out that there's enough for a few bites for everyone. They seem surprised at how much fish there is to go around, which makes me wonder whether Terry could do the same thing with loaves. Sally says that if they could catch a couple of fish a day, it would be a great help. Crickets chirp as viewers everywhere make sarcastic spear-dropping gestures.
Challenge beach. Probst. Jeff brings in the tribes, and shows La Mina that Casaya got rid of Melinda, which I'm sure is a surprise to...no one, except possibly the people who have met Shane. Jeff comments that the members of Casaya look less crappy than they did last time he saw them. Danielle smiles from behind her mouth, which is all Chiclets and no lips, and she says that they feel much better. The tribe attributes this change in fortunes to Bruce, who has been an enormous help to them. President Beefcake credits Bruce's positive attitude, as well as his survival skills.
Okay, enough yapping. Jeff explains the challenge. Each tribe has three people acting as launchers and four as catchers. The catchers stand beside each other on a balance beam out in the water, and the launchers use a sort of slingshot to fling a ball out toward the catchers. If a catcher manages to grab the ball, you get a point. You can jump off the balance beam to get to the ball. First team to five catches wins reward. Jeff uncovers said reward, which includes a tarp, lantern, water cans, rope -- it's basic good stuff for camp, as opposed to Pringles or shampoo or sparkle pants or anything goofy like that. Also, the losing tribe will have to send someone to Exile Island.
La Mina appoints as launchers Misty, Dan, and Ruth Marie. Casaya appoints President Beefcake, Bruce, and Cirie. President Beefcake and Misty are firing first. Misty's ball is caught by Terry. P-Beefcake's almost gets picked up by Aras, but Aras falls into the water ineffectually instead. Fucking yoga dorks. He was probably too busy breathing. On the shot, though, P-Beefcake does get the catch from Aras. Misty's second shot is too much for Terry, but it bounces off his hands directly into Nick's, so La Mina is up 2-1. Now, Dan and Bruce are shooting. Conveniently, Bruce taught high-school slingshot for forty years. Okay, not really. Danielle and Terry catch the two, so La Mina is up 3-2. Shane makes a catch for Casaya, and Dan has one of his go astray, so now it's a tie. Cirie and Ruth Marie are up launching . Ruth Marie's first shot appears to be for crap in a sort of wimpy, nice-one-grandma kind of way, while Shane catches one from Cirie, so now Casaya is up. Terry gets the one for La Mina; Aras misses the one for Casaya. So now, we are tied at 4-4. catch could be the win. Misty and P-Beefcake are up. They fire. Misty gets caught by Terry, and Shane can't make the save for Casaya, so La Mina wins the reward challenge. Everyone returns to shore, and Jeff announces that La Mina will be in charge of deciding who from Casaya goes to Exile Island. Casaya has made this decision very easy, of course, by talking about how much they need Bruce and how he's the key to the fact that they came out of the doldrums. Austin pushes this theory during the La Mina huddle, and while Very Pale Dan looks particularly sad at the thought of putting Bruce back there to get rained on, that's what La Mina decides to do. When he hears this news, Shane gives a shake of his head and a full-body twitch and says, "These guys are playing for keeps, huh?" As if there's some other way one should play this particular game. Bruce takes his stuff and walks off. He will return for the immunity challenge. Fortunately, he mentors young exiles. Jeff sends Casaya back to camp, and then he gives La Mina its stuff and sends that crowd back to camp as well.
We return to La Mina on Day 7, where they're very happy about all the booty they just collected. Terry rattles off the things they got, including the tarp to add to the good shelter they already have. "I'm really stoked for my team," he says. That evening, they stretch the tarp over the shelter frame, and when it starts to rain later, it looks like it stands them in relatively good stead. Someone suggests that they "think about Bruce for a minute." Frankly, that's the last thing I would want to do. I'd be like, "Okay, the key is not to think about Bruce." They do all agree that for him to be stuck out there like that for the second time is not a happy development. Terry interviews that it wasn't easy to decide to send Bruce, but knowing what a leg up he gave his team, they didn't see much choice. "I wouldn't want to be him," Terry adds.
On Exile Island, we join Bruce, who is indeed having no fun at all in the rainstorm, and who doesn't particularly want to be himself either. He reminds us that he hadn't been with Casaya for even twenty-four hours before he got shuttled off again. He adds that he's been on Exile Island more than he's been with any particular tribe. He also says that there was no time for him to look for the idol with all the storming going on. "It seems like every night is miserable here," he adds.
The morning at Casaya, Courtney is boiling water, so they apparently did get their fire situation straightened out. She voices over that it was "evil" of La Mina to send Bruce back to EI, meaning that she hasn't experienced nearly enough evil. It seems that losing the reward and then having Bruce leave on top of it put the tribe into a real funk. As the rest of the tribe members sit around the fire, Shane is off to the side, perched on a tree stump, like he's from a children's book called Junkie The Pooh. He comments that he really likes sitting there. He tells the group that it's for when he's thinking, and Courtney corrects him by saying that it's his "time-out stump." Heh. He calls it his "Thinking Seat," which doesn't mean "Shane's seat, with which he does most of his thinking," which I would have supported. No, he's thinking furniture. He announces that he'd like for no one else to sit on his Thinking Seat, and there is some light chuckling, because it all appears to be in fun at this point. Courtney questions why it has to be his, however, and Shane goes into this bizarre freakish ranting thing, where he's bellowing about how he just wants HIS SEAT and HE WANTS ONE and he wants THIS ONE and it all gets really strange. It's like...he thinks it's funny, maybe? Or it started out that way? The best part is that Aras interviews that the problems in the tribe come from the personalities. "I'm in an alliance with three nutballs," he announces. Good reason not to solidify your alliances ten minutes after meeting people and then go around making enemies out of everyone else as if you have the entire game knocked.
Courtney and Chiclets are talking about how to keep the pot over the fire, and when Shane walks over to join them, Courtney solicits his advice. Shane hasn't come to help, though; he's come to showboatingly not help, so he snots that he's not saying anything -- Courtney's the one who's been doing it, so he's leaving it to her. Cirie gives a lovely, funny, spot-on in interview in which she discusses the stupidity of the fact that all these people got into an alliance together and now all hate each other. Courtney and Shane get into another tiff around the fire, and she tells him to relax, and he's like "I'm relaxed, man," which...no one worth knowing has ever said "I'm relaxed, man" in the middle of a fight. Then Shane does his corncob-ass walk and goes off to sit in the shelter. What about the Thinking Seat? Is it suddenly not good enough for thinking? Does this mean he's not thinking? As he lies in the shelter, Shane voices over that he can't deal with Courtney, and that he's totally stuck with her, because he made a promise on his son's life. HA HA HA! That's perfect. Shane would be the first person to ever feel constrained by that. He is just crazy enough to think that matters, and he's just non-self-aware enough to think that it will make him look good.
La Mina. Morning of Day 8. Behold the small crabs, how they run up on the beach. Sally and Misty chat with Austin, and Sally tries to persuade Austin to bring Nick and get into a foursome. "We like you," Misty announces, and then looks at Austin through her lashes. Misty comments that Sally has tried to establish something with Nick and Austin, partly to head off a possible "boys' club" situation. And then Misty makes her way behind Austin to rub his shoulders. What I love about this sequence is that the show makes it very clear that we are to believe that Misty is doing this to suck up to the boys because she's a skilled flirt -- that she wants Austin to enjoy the back and neck rub and thus align with her, which is why she's doing it. What the show does not mention, and would not mention, is that in doing this, Misty also gets to feel all over Austin's back and neck, which would not be bad its own self. If you had a guy who had insinuated himself into a group of women by offering them massages, there is no question that it would be acknowledged that he was doing it partly to impress them, but partly because he was a horndog and enjoyed himself. Misty, on the other hand, apparently gets no gratification at all from this, which IS BULLSHIT. It's rare when you can tell that the machine that makes this show is almost entirely male, but from time to time, you totally can. If I listed for you my entire repertoire of Ways To Touch Arms And Shoulders Without Arousing Suspicion, you would nominate me for a fucking Nobel Prize -- I am that inventive. Anyway, Sally goes on about how Misty is really smart and strategic in giving massages, and you can kind of see Very Pale Dan and Terry looking on like, "No love for the Gray Hairs?" Apparently not. Sally characterizes Misty as the charming one, and herself as "the pal." Fuck being the pal, seriously. Wait, what was I talking about? This entire sequence is so distracting, with all the shoulders.
Misty and Sally have a chat in which Misty says, quite accurately, that if they can get into the merge in a strong group, they might have a good chance of doing the "get rid of threats, not little old me" routine and getting to the end. It's very true if you've seen much of the show. Austin, meanwhile, adorably (yeah, I like him, even though he loves the female ladies) interviews that he's in a rough position, because everybody seems to trust him and want to talk to him, and that makes it tough. He discusses the fact that it could be very stupid for him to align himself with the guys when he could go with the females instead. Sally says that she's been working on this point with Austin -- that if he goes with Terry, they're just going to be in this head-butting situation before very long, and if they stay with Sally and Misty, it might work out better.
Challenge beach. Oh, man. So many disappointing, stupid challenges, and it's like it was all just stuff we had to endure to get to this point. Jeff takes the immunity idol back from La Mina, and he announces a "physical, head-to-head battle." Basically, the deal is that a couple of people from each team get sent out to run to a circle in the sand and dig up a bag. You dig the bag up, you bring the bag back to your finish mat. But the thing is, there is wrestling. You're allowed to wrestle! You can attack each other! Jeff doesn't even announce any rules at the beginning. No fishhooks? Hee hee. Anyway, you can all grab each other and grab the bag away from each other and tackle each other and all manner of wonderful things to keep somebody on the other team from getting the bag back to their team's finish mat. Getting to the finish mat, incidentally, means touching the bag and touching your mat at the same time. First tribe to three will win immunity. I already kind of can't wait.
The first matchup is Cirie and Chiclets versus Sally and Misty. They all run out to the circle and start digging. Chiclets ultimately pushes Misty down and holds her while Cirie and Sally look for the bag. But then, on Bruce's advice, Cirie manages to get on top of Sally and basically sit on her while Chiclets, grabbed from behind by Misty, digs up the bag. Cirie then gets up and removes Misty from Chiclets's back, coming close to the choking that we're later going to hear is not allowed. As Cirie does this, Sally comes back over, and Chiclets and Misty wind up on the ground again as Cirie and Sally fight hard over the bag. Soon, all four women are pulling on the bag, and in the end, Misty and Cirie wind up getting it and falling down together. Sally performs a flat-out takedown of Chiclets as Cirie and Misty continue to tug the bag back and forth. The men cheer appreciatively, because girls fighting is hot. Chiclets gets up, but Sally grabs her leg and won't let go. Awesome. The four of them all wind up in another tangle with the bag in the middle, and ultimately, they get closer and closer to the finish mat until Cirie figures out that as long as you can get on the right side of the tangle of people with one hand on the bag, you can reach out and touch your mat and you don't even have to "have" the bag, really. So that's what she does, and Casaya gets the first point. Cirie gets appreciative hugs. The women set the tone with this early battle, and the tone is "Whatever works is okay, as long as Jeff doesn't disqualify you."
Now, Nick and Terry will take on Bruce and P. Beefcake. When Jeff gives the go, Bruce tries to tackle both Terry and Nick, which is a little overambitious, and he winds up succeeding only in throwing himself on his face. They all wind up getting to the circle together, and Bruce and Nick wind up in a big pretzel, while P. Beefcake winds up with Terry's butt in his mouth, just about. It's all very complicated, anatomically speaking. Nick works his way into a digging position, despite having Bruce on his back. Nick manages to get away from Bruce and get the bag, as Terry and P. Beefcake occupy each other. Nick makes a clean getaway, runs past Bruce, and makes it back to the finish mat at a run, so that's one point for La Mina, and one that went down quite a bit more neatly than the first women's match did.
up, Shane, Courtney, and Aras take on Austin, Ruth Marie, and Dan. Ready? Go! Shane and Dan immediately get into it. You can imagine how Shane wouldn't go after Austin, weenie that he is. Fortunately, this leaves open the battle of Austin and Aras, which: HOT. Nothing like a nice southern boy going up against a guy who's really bendy. Where's my popcorn? Where's my Homer Hankie? Aras gets away and gets the bag to Shane, and then I get the profound pleasure of seeing Austin throw Shane down on the ground. THUMP! Yaaay! Elsewhere, Ruth Marie has Courtney in a sort of leg-tangling mess, and Dan and Aras have each other occupied. Shane inches himself and Aras and the bag toward the finish mat. No! No, no! But Austin rallies, rolling Shane back toward his side of things. Austin rolls Shane over one last time and thumps the mat with his hand, meaning another point for La Mina. Squeeee! I wonder if Austin's broken Shane's spirit. I think Shane's spirit is made of twist ties, so it's probably not that tough.
Now, Courtney, Cirie, and Aras will battle Sally, Nick, and Misty. There is a new strategy going, which is just to hang back and watch who gets the bag and then tackle that person. Sally and Aras are both just kind of hanging out at first. When Cirie finds the bag, Sally grabs her and pulls her down in sort of slow-motion. Nick winds up with the bag, and Courtney is trying to take it from him. He gets a mouthful of sand at one point, too. Aras tries to pry the bag from Nick. Misty is assigned to "take out Aras," which seems very unlikely right up until the part where she does it. She grabs him; she removes him. All six people wind up fighting each other, which seems like it couldn't be, but it totally is. They're all in a big wad, and it's wonderful. Never has "clusterfuck" been such a nearly literal expression. Aras has to ruin the mood by getting all "teacher, teacher" and complaining that Misty is choking him. She has one arm around his neck, but the other is under his armpit, so it's not a straight-up choke, and frankly, I think he's just pissed off because she's a girl and he can't shake her. Jeff also asks them to watch the kicking, because Nick is literally getting sand kicked in his face. This is so much better than coconuts and stuff! Bruce calls out for Cirie to push Misty down, and Cirie just reaches out and shoves her, and Misty goes over like she came from the doll factory less than fully stuffed. That was impressive, man. ["Well, shit, Cirie's built like a bear. It's not really fair to put the rest of those itty little girls up against her." -- Wing Chun] At this point, Nick and Sally are essentially securing the bag for their team between his arms and her legs, and this is where Aras reaches down and basically tickles Sally's leg to make her release it, which struck me as a pretty pussy maneuver, to be honest. He comes up with the bag and runs for it. He also decides to show off by leaping onto the finish mat, so I pretty much don't like him at all. I really didn't like that that ended with fucking tickling. But anyway, it's tied at 2-2.
Final round puts up President Beefcake and Chiclets against Ruth Marie and Terry. Not exactly the most even matchup as far as the relative athleticism of the people on their teams, but okay. They all run out. Ruth Marie climbs onto Chiclets, who proceeds to throw her down on the ground. P. Beefcake pulls the bag out of the sand, and then they're all wrestling, and Terry comes up with the bag, and President Beefcake's ass-crack is pixelized. Awesome. Terry runs with the bag for a minute, but President Beefcake tackles him. Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other. She gets near the bag, slowing herself down by looking over her shoulder, and just as she's almost there, President Beefcake reaches out and grabs the back of her tank top. He pulls her over like he's walking a dog, and she helplessly is dragged along to the other finish mat, where President Beefcake claims the victory for himself and the overall victory for Casaya. Damn. Ruth Marie should have taken that loose top off, probably. I'll tell you what else: Ruth Marie would have at least given herself a small chance if she had thrown the bag backwards as soon as she felt Beefcake get a hand on her. Terry and Chiclets are back there somewhere -- as soon as she realized Beefcake had her, she should have dropped the bag. It probably would have ended the same way, but in retrospect, it might have been worth trying.
Anyway, Casaya celebrates the victory, which means that a lot of people who suck are happy, and that's never good. I like the fact that, as La Mina gets the bad news, Austin has an arm crooked tight around Ruth Marie, clearly working to keep her from feeling like the entire thing was her fault, which it wasn't. She's slow, but they could have won other ones as well, and hers was no more critical to the loss than anyone else's.
Later, it is Day 8 at La Mina. The tribe is returning from the challenge, not happy at all. Sally comments that they took the loss hard, because it was so physical and they put so much into it. I imagine that challenge was indeed very draining, especially if you haven't been eating. They discuss the fact that they were at a weight disadvantage, which I think is definitely true, although that's not the only reason they lost. Terry laments in an interview that he had hoped to bring the entire group to the merge ["...not the most realistic goal a human's ever had" -- Wing Chun], but now they are, indeed, going to have to get rid of someone: "But the game moves on, and there's always tomorrow."
The guys sit around and talk. Ruth Marie's name is mentioned, since she seems to be the weakest person physically. Then Austin brings up Misty, saying that while he loves her, she was the one who did the least in the challenge. Less than Ruth Marie? Eh. I'm not sure I agree. Terry voices over that the guys decided that they would indeed vote for Misty at tribal council. Terry's reasoning is not only challenge weaknesses, since she certainly doesn't seem to be useless in challenges by any stretch. His reasoning, as he explains it, is that she's an engineer, and she's very smart, and she's a threat for that reason. That's more a Tom Weston moment. If he had said he wanted to vote for her because she was lazy and didn't do nearly as much as he did around camp, it would be a Rupert moment.
Behold the green snake, how he THREATENS YOUR LIFE.
Sally and Misty chat with Nick about whom to vote off. Sally proposes Ruth Marie or Dan, and she's leaning toward Ruth Marie. Nick says flat-out that he couldn't vote for Dan. Could he vote for Ruth Marie? Sally wonders. Yes, he could. Sally interviews that Ruth Marie isn't doing very well physically, and hasn't been for a couple of days; Sally thinks the best thing for the tribe would be that vote.
Austin and Nick find time for a chat, in which they discuss how they're caught between Terry and Dan on one side and Sally and Misty on the other. Of course, they could delay committing for another week if they were to convince Terry and Dan to vote off Ruth Marie, but perhaps that's not their choice. Austin says in an interview that he has the opportunity, possibly, to get to where he wants to be, but that he's in a dangerous position. And that's very true. Being a swing vote is, it seems to me, often very overrated. You're at the margins of everything and at the core of nothing. I think the last two runs of this show have proved that the best strategy overall is to try to make a strong and large alliance within your tribe that can get your tribe to the merge with numbers, and then will hold together. So if I'm Austin, I'm thinking that, first of all, it's too bad I apparently can't make a pre-merge alliance any bigger than four (remember, Steph had six), meaning that I almost certainly will not have a majority at the merge, no matter how brilliantly I keep my bonds in place. I'm also thinking that it would be great if I could adopt another person and go into the merge with five or even six. I'm looking at three twosomes and one odd person out. The odd person out (Ruth Marie) will probably go with anyone she can. My best bet, therefore, is to break apart one of the other twosomes. Since Terry and Dan want to break up Misty and Sally, while Misty and Sally want to take out the odd person and leave it as three twosomes, which will just put Austin and Nick in the same position time the tribe loses, there's something to be said for the decision the guys are about to make here. If I'm Nick and Austin, I'm thinking that what I'd ideally like to do is go into the merge with five -- the two of us, Terry and Dan, and either Sally or Misty. And the easiest way to get that, unquestionably, is to get rid of Misty. If I betray Terry and Dan and vote off Ruth Marie at the request of the girls, Terry and Dan won't forgive me. But if I vote off Misty, Sally probably will. At least that's what I think I'd be thinking.
Tribal council. Skulls! Jeff has the group pick up their torches. Jeff asks Terry how tough this is, compared to his other experiences. He says that it's physically tough, but mentally not too bad yet, though he's sure it will get there. Asked how he's doing, Dan comments on how much he loves everyone. He is very cheery about the companionship. Sally says that, for her, the first days have been great. She cares about everyone, she really does. Jeff asks about food, and Austin talks about how Terry, "the X-factor," caught a fish for them, and that while it was tiny, they loved it. Jeff asks about the spear. Austin smiles and rubs his chin, and he says, "We had a little incident with the spear. We...the spear hasn't been much luck for us, let's just put it that way." Very smart. Very, very smart. He's about to make Sally very unhappy, and anything he can do to make her think that there's a salvageable relationship with him is a good thing. It's also, incidentally, a nice thing to do, since there's really no need to let Jeff drag you into one of these finger-pointing things when Sally clearly feels bad enough about the spear as it is. Not that this would stop...well, Rupert.
Jeff asks Misty about how, based on the challenge, the guys are in good shape. Is there pressure for the women to "live up to this"? Oh, Jeff. Come on. Misty talks about stepping up and so forth. Asked whether everyone is playing for the tribe, Misty says she does, 100%. I don't understand that question, really. Everybody is playing for himself or herself, always. That's the only way you play this game, and all tribe play is only done because it helps your individual play. "We really are a team," Misty insists. Jeff asks Terry how you vote if you're really all a team. Terry says that, obviously, there's talk about whom to boot: "We all understand that someone has to go tonight."
Jeff asks Ruth Marie about being the only one who came into the tribe without an ally, and she says that she was very aware of that at first. "It's a vulnerable seat to be in tonight," she says. Jeff asks Nick whether he's making an individual vote tonight or a group vote, and Nick hesitates before saying that, in this case, he's probably making more of a group vote, ultimately.
Jeff reminds Misty that if she has the most votes after the vote, she can pull out the idol. Austin votes. Sally votes. Misty votes for Ruth Marie, calling it "team play." Dan votes. Terry votes for Misty, calling her "a smart girl." Ruth Marie votes. Nick votes, claiming to be voting for "the least strong member of the tribe right now." Jeff goes off to tally.
Jeff returns to read. First vote is for Ruth Marie. Second vote Misty. Ruth Marie. Misty. Misty. Misty. She's done. Now, Jeff has one question. Did she find the idol? She did not. So, sorry, now she's done. She brings her torch and is snuffed. Jeff announces that the tribe does seem unified, but that somebody always has to be "on the outside." Eh. Jeff sends them back to camp.
In her goodbye interview, Misty says that she was shocked by the vote. She says that she had a great time, and she wishes the tribe well. Aw, that was graceful, basically.
week: La Mina is almost starving. Chiclets and Shane are fighting.