Everything Is Personal

Previously on Losing One's Shit 1, Jamie 0: Jamie began to go slightly cuckoo as he wondered aloud why everyone was lying and backstabbing and why there were cartoon birds flying in and out of his field of vision. Lydia cost her team the victory in a reward challenge, and Jeff made sure that everyone noticed. Gary and Danni took advantage of reward time with Judd and Steph to try on hospital pajamas and argue in favor of ousting the increasingly annoying Jamie. Judd wasn't receptive, but Steph sort of was. After Jamie continued to annoy Rafe with his constant need for reassurance to the point where Rafe feared that leaf-based pinochle was inevitable, Rafe talked to Lydia and Steph, and ultimately, the booting of Jamie was accomplished. Jamie was all, "BLINDSIDED! NICE!" in an effort to pretend he loved being booted more than anything short of a massage from a Vegas showgirl, but the person most significantly blindsided was Judd, who had no idea the alliance had a crack in it until it had all already happened. Seven left. Can the Big Five stay together, or can Gary "Landscapers Do It With A Hoe" Hogeboom find another way to slip the noose?

Credits. Props to the Eagle-Eyed Forum Poster who pointed out to me that of all the weird shots in the credits, perhaps the weirdest one is the yellow mask dancing around in what was probably a Burnett-created fervor. "Hold this up to your face and dance, dance, dance!" It's amazing what people will do to get on television.

It is Night 27 at Xhakum, and the night-vision cameras are out in full force. The tribe returns, with Danni muttering a noncommittal "That was some crazy shenanigans." I fully support the use of the term "shenanigans" (not to mention shenanigans themselves), although I'm not sure it applies here. Steph asks Judd if he's all right following that unpleasant surprise, because she's all about caring. Judd does his usual subtle job of lying, sputtering about how he's perfectly fine and saying, "I'm fine, man, I just, I don't know what to say, man, I wish somebody would've [sic] told me, man, I don't know." I think being announced by Judd when visiting someone at the building where he is a doorman would take a very long time. ("Somebody's, you know, man, down here to see you, man, and I, man, I think the name is, like, whatever, man, I wish they'd tell me, man, because I could let them up. Man.") Steph tells Judd that, while they all wanted to tell him, they didn't think it was a good idea to put him in the position of knowing -- presumably because it would make him decide whether to tell Jamie. It's a lie, this explanation, because they really just didn't want him to gum up the works, which he would have. But it's reasonably credible, so tiny props to Steph for that. In an interview, Judd explained his total shock that Jamie was voted out ("man"), and that the alliance went a little crazy, so yes, he was angry ("man"). And from now on, he will wonder what's going on ("man"). (All "man"s in original.)

Judd goes on to interview that when they were at the reward, Gary claimed that he wanted to get Lydia and Cindy out of the game, and now he's trying to ally with them. "That's a big lie," he proclaims. Seriously, man, it's like Gary is trying to win, man. I hate that, man. Judd goes on to yip and yap about how Gary's a big liar, blah blah, wouldn't expect it from him, blah blah. Who would think a landscaper would throw fibs around? Judd's capacity for moral outrage is very impressive, considering the ease with which he's told lies in the past. It's good to know he's not letting a few possible lightning bolts keep him from speaking his truth.

Gary and Lydia have a little chat in which he asks her what her strategy is, because if they're going to do anything, they need four people. All of Gary's math teachers nod, all, "Damn right. Who ever said I passed that kid just because he was on the team?" Lydia says she's just not sure: specifically, she's not sure about the possibility of turning Cindy. Lydia then interviews that the Big Five were supposed to be together, but she's now prepared to look at the game from the perspective of her individual prospects, and she's going to do what's best for herself. And...seriously, dude. At some point -- preferably one or two moves before your alliance gets down to just itself -- you have to figure out where you fit within that alliance, because getting to the final five can't be your entire goal when you're already in the final seven, or you're shooting kind of low. I think that Lydia has to realize at this point that she's doomed in the Big Five if she sticks around, because she will obviously be the first to go if it comes down to the five of them. Nobody will want her in F2, and she can't win immunity. She needs a different plan -- preferably an F3 or F4 plan rather than an F5 plan. So she's thinking the right things -- it's a question of whether there's time to put anything together with the people who are left.

We fly over to the challenge area, which today features a bunch of hanging clay pots, three pots of corn to each person, labeled with their names. It's the always-stupid popularity contest, in which they'll all answer trivia questions, and for every question you get right, you get to smash one pot. Last person with a pot intact wins reward. What are we playing for? A trip to a sort of spa-like hot springs, where there will also be a big meal including mojitos. Oh, and a massage. I like how they always offer alcohol, as if all that's on anyone's mind after weeks of barely eating is how much they'd love to drink to excess. You know, just because Judd thinks something doesn't mean the rest of us do.

The first question is incredibly easy, and only Steph gets it wrong, because she thinks "Sanskrit" is the name of a stone carving. Once a genius, always a genius, I suppose. Judd breaks one of Gary's pots. "Nothing subtle about that, Gary!" Jeff says, and Gary agrees. I always hate it when Jeff makes those comments, because...what does it mean, exactly? He has to break someone's pot. What would be the subtle move? Breaking them in alphabetical order? In a situation where the alliance is already known to everyone, this just isn't interesting and it certainly isn't scandalous. At least not yet. Lydia steps up and breaks Steph's first, and Steph is all tight smiles, going, "How did I know? How did I know?" Danni breaks Steph again. Cindy breaks another of Gary's. Rafe breaks Danni's first, and Gary chooses to smash Cindy.

The question reveals that, in Mayan courtball, the loser often had his head made into the ball, which I assumed was false, because it's disgusting and sounds like a horror version of The Flintstones, but it's actually true. Oh, and Steph initially gets it right, but then she looks down the row and sees all the people saying it's false, and she changes her answer. Baaa! Serves you right, Woolly. Lydia finishes off Steph. Steph chooses to respond to this by saying, "Jealousy gets ya nowhere." Wow. How revoltingly bitchy. God. Where is the Steph of yore? "I'm hungry; I want to eat," Lydia says with a grin, a little sheepishly, and much more of a good sport than Steph deserved after that crack. "We'll see about that," Steph says, signaling her minions that she does not want Lydia to get the food. Jeff informs Lydia, who he apparently believes has lost all of her senses simultaneously, that Steph isn't happy, and Lydia offers the only explanation she really can, which is that she hasn't eaten much, and Steph has eaten quite a bit. "So did Gary; so did Danni," Steph says tightly and arrogantly with a smile that just makes me want to punch her, which is so fucking sad. I hate it when they come back and all their charm is gone. Anyway, Danni steps up and takes out Judd. Cindy finishes off Gary. Those two really do not like each other, and I don't really get it. Nicely, Gary chooses not to bitch and moan over it, which is why he's not Steph. What's interesting is that with all her bitching earlier in the season about who had and hadn't played sports, you'd think Steph wouldn't be such a crybaby sore loser.

The question is nailed by everybody but Judd. Lydia hits Judd. Danni hits Judd again, knocking him out. Good! (Man.) Cindy hits Danni. Rafe chooses to take out Danni, so she's gone.

So now, Rafe and Lydia both have all three of their pots left, and Cindy has two. When Rafe gets the question right, he obeys Steph's order and hits Lydia. Steph grins. Yuck.

question is gotten right by everyone, and Cindy also obediently hits Lydia for Steph, despite the fact that that leaves Rafe with all three of his pots untouched. As Steph requested, Rafe finishes off Lydia, and Steph grins at the fact that Lydia, who has had very little to eat recently, will continue to have almost nothing to eat. It's really unseemly, this entire sequence, because Cindy has had at least one big meal, and Rafe has had a couple, and Lydia has gotten very little in recent memory, although she ate at the feast where she chose not to compete for immunity. It's not that I want anyone to let Lydia win, but the gloating over knocking her out when she's had so much less food than everyone else recently is just gross to me. Lydia gets to take a hit at Rafe before she leaves.

Cindy gets the question and Rafe doesn't, meaning that if she gets the question right, no matter what Rafe does, she'll win. And she does get the question right, and Rafe even gets it wrong, so Cindy wins reward. Given the opportunity to pick someone to take with her, Cindy agonizes quite a bit, but she ultimately decides to take Rafe. It's always a semi-safe choice to take the person who finishes second, although I think in Cindy's case, she just doesn't like anyone else very much. And I don't really blame her.

Later, still at Xhakum on Day 24, the losing team members return to camp, and Steph voices over how she was the first one out, having been hit twice by Lydia and once by Danni. "Lydia was fed up because I had won so many food rewards," says Steph, admitting flat-out that she had eaten a bunch of times. "Well," Steph announces, "Boo hoo for Lydia. I'm sick of hearing your crap. You're lucky you're still in the game." Well, you're all lucky you're still in the game, my dear. We now watch as, back at camp, Steph goes on the attack, with her mouth full of food, announcing that she hasn't had all that much food. "I had the burgers," she says, and then she points at Judd and Gary, going, "Burgers, burgers." I guess that was the most recent one? Then she tries to equate what she ate at the eat-in-order-of-finish feast with what Gary and Danni had, which...Danni, maybe. But not Gary with his little piece of pizza, and sure as hell not Lydia. Then Steph raises the issue of the feast she chose instead of competing, saying that this shouldn't be counted, because in order to do it, she had to "put [her] ass on the line." Of course, Lydia put her ass on the line at the same time. Lydia is overstating her case here, because she hasn't gotten no food, but Steph has certainly had more than Lydia, and more than Gary and Danni. So while it's not a slam dunk, Steph has had more than other people have lately, meaning that there's a sense in which there's really no arguing with Lydia's point -- if you have to pick someone who won't get to eat, Steph is a reasonable choice on the basis that she's had food recently.

Not that Steph recognizes this. Instead, she just declares that she doesn't want to hear any more about it, and then she interviews that "if you're going to be jealous, then you're an idiot." She certainly is a person who is not flattered by success. Particularly since she has been insanely jealous on many, many occasions, like when other people win things, which is usually. It's remarkable how yesterday's "it's so unfaaaair, it's a bad dream and I can't wake up" becomes today's "somebody wins and somebody loses, so suck it up." She also declares that this last challenge shows "where your loyalties lie," which is what's really going on. Steph resents Lydia's open challenge to her authority, because the routine with Steph's alliance up to this point is that they politely sit back and treat her with a sort of neutral friendliness in challenges, and while they try to beat her, they don't specifically try to beat specifically her, and they certainly take her on the reward or share it with her to the degree that they possibly can. Lydia is in trouble here for rebelling against the queen bee, not for saying anything that isn't true. I think Steph is also irked, for the same reason, that Cindy didn't take her on the reward, so some of this is status insecurity.

Later, the tribe makes its way to the challenge spot, where Rafe gives back the immunity necklace. "Back up for grabs!" They're playing one of the stupider games today, which is the usual one where Jeff tells you a story, and then you run around answering questions about it, and the first person to answer all the questions right wins immunity. It's funny, because I love the challenge producers, and I know how hard they try to find new stuff to do, but more and more, all the challenges are really the same, and there's just different window-dressing to make them seem distinct. I've seen this challenge a lot, and I never think it's interesting.

The story involves a goddess who gets married a couple of times and has a couple of affairs, making it the Jackie Collins book of mythology, sort of. I partly don't understand what it means to call a goddess one of the "most popular figures" in Maya mythology. I mean, she sounds like she was popular at the time with the men she knew, but I don't think that's what Jeff means. How are you "popular" as a goddess? At any rate, there's not much to say about a challenge like this, ever, except that some of the people you'd expect (Judd, Steph) kind of suck at it, while some of the people you'd expect (Rafe, Gary) are pretty good at it. It actually winds up coming down to Rafe and Gary, and Rafe beats Gary in a footrace back to the start with their last flag, meaning that Rafe wins immunity again. And Gary may just be running of tricks, although he came damn close to finding yet another way to avoid being booted. I'm fascinated by how many questions are answered incorrectly every time, when the story really, really wasn't that long. It's not that much detail to remember, and they consistently get stuff wrong. Anyway, Rafe is immune. Gary isn't.

Back at camp, Rafe offers an interview in which he says that he's been really shocked to win immunity so much, and that it's surprising that the "little gay Mormon" would win so many challenges. He says that growing up, he didn't see athletic people who "looked and acted gay." And it's interesting, because obviously, there's a sense in which this is silly -- Greg Louganis, figure skaters, blah blah blah. Stereotypically gay athletes are not new. I think Rafe is reaching for something different when he says "looked and acted gay." It's like he's saying that there's a whole set of gay stereotypes, and he has some similarity to one of them, but it's not the one most commonly associated with athletic prowess, you know? It's not the slick, dolphin-like, waxed-chest thing associated with gym guys like Reichen. I think he's saying that he "looks and acts gay" in a way not often shown on TV kicking the asses of burly doormen. Or else he's just babbling.

Steph, Cindy, Rafe and Judd are walking together, talking about how awesome their alliance is. "Seems too good to be true," Steph says, and I'd sure love to believe that was foreshadowing. She interviews that it really "seems too easy," because last time she felt powerless and this time she feels powerful. And I don't blame her one bit for enjoying that switch; what I blame her for is how it's affected the way she approaches the game and the way she treats other people. What looked like pluck in an underdog reads like serious arrogance in a favorite, and that's where we're running into trouble, Steph and I.

Gasoline/electric hybrid spider.

Lydia and Danni take a walk, and Lydia laments that she was just a warm body to her alliance, and now they're ready to cut her loose. She says that Rafe and Steph and Judd are a group, and that she stuck with them, and now they're ditching her. "Now that the numbers game is over, I'm not useful anymore," she says. I think Lydia really did wait maybe a week or two too long to get to this point. But at any rate, she tells Danni that she now believes she may get the boot before Danni or Gary even do. Lydia gripes in an interview that it's like she did everything her alliance wanted, and now they "don't need [her] anymore." I'm wondering what she thought was going to happen along about here, you know? Because as much as I dislike the way she was treated this week, the fact that she's being put on a list for booting now that the numbers have changed isn't, in and of itself, either wrong or particularly surprising. How is she shocked by this? What did she think was going to happen? "I think I'm screwed," she finishes, and for the most part, I concur.

Meanwhile, back at camp, Gary paces while he says that he thinks he's seen as enough of a threat that he thinks Danni and Lydia will be kept around longer than he will. He says that Cindy doesn't like him -- an obvious bit of animosity we sort of haven't been privy to as far as the explanation -- and adds that, therefore, he's going to "attack the avenue" and see what he can do. It turns out that the avenue is Rafe, who admits to Gary that he'd like to go to the end with people he trusts, and that he doesn't trust Judd and only mostly trusts Steph. Gary argues that Danni is very trustworthy, and I think he might be looking to talk Rafe into an alliance of "good people," but it's not my sense that Rafe is buying. Gary thinks that there's an opening based on the fact that Rafe doesn't trust Judd, so Gary thinks that what now appears to be the Big Four will crack at that point, but he also seems to be aware that that may not happen immediately.

Later, as dark clouds roll in, Steph refers to it as "like, a Jersey storm." I'm not sure I know what that means, but...all right. Maybe it does something to your eyebrows. Would explain a lot. Lydia and Danni pound corn. Judd comments that you never know at this point in the game how people might turn on each other with everybody "scouring all over the place." You can't trust people when they're cleaning, that's for goddamn sure. Judd adds that Lydia is untrustworthy because she's so adrift, so "she's gotta go." He also mentions that Gary has been going all over the place "trying to get anybody on his damn side." It seriously is like Gary is trying to win. How dare he, you know? You'd think he could at least lie down and take it.

Tribal council. Bobby Jon and Jamie stroll in to sit in the jury box, and Bobby Jon does a most unfortunate "word" gesture with his arms, as if he just got here from the Def Jam. And he really cannot pull that off at all. Judd tries for a little chest-thump with his fist, as if he has all this great love for the boys. As soon as Jeff has everyone seated, he starts in about the pot-smashing challenge and the "hostility" between Steph and Lydia over how much food Steph had eaten. Basically, Lydia says that she had a sense that Steph might win -- presumably because of her suck-up minions -- and Lydia didn't think that was the right outcome. She says it's "nothing personal, but this time, I want to eat." Jeff gets all up in Lydia's face about how ridiculous it is to say it's not personal. "It's very personal!" he says rudely. Lydia points out, still being as diplomatic as she can, that Stephenie is well-liked by the group, and that people tend to bring her along on rewards. I'm not sure I agree with that, other than Judd letting her sit at the big-kids' table, but I think Lydia's point is more that whoever won probably would have taken Steph, and if it were Rafe or Judd, I'm sure she's right. Lydia repeats that although Steph was upset when they got back to camp, it was just a matter of Lydia's wanting a chance to get some food in her belly.

Jeff asks Lydia who's "running the camp," and Lydia points out that everyone seems to look up to Stephenie. Steph makes a disgusted face. Lydia says that Steph has played before, and that to her, it looks like Steph is "running the show." Jeff picks the scab by noting that Steph looks like she hates hearing this. Which I'm sure she does, because it makes her a target. Steph -- changing the subject so hard and so randomly that I almost get whiplash -- says that the fact that she put a stop to the talk about how often she gets to eat doesn't mean she's running anything. Which was obviously not Lydia's point. My favorite part is where she says, "If you've got something to say, say it to my face, otherwise, I don't want to hear it anymore." So...wait. You can say it directly to her? Because Lydia did say it directly to her, and that's when she got pissed off. Moreover, if she's actually suggesting she can tell you what conversations you can have with other people when she's not around, you know...that's what makes people think you're trying to run things, there, Steph.

And then Jeff moves over to Gary for one more moment of Hogeboom-rrific awesomeness. Asked for his opinion, Gary says he likes Steph, but notes that some people in the group (Rafe, Judd, maybe Cindy) are "starstruck" by Steph. Boy, talk about the elephant in the room, eh? "That's not her fault," Gary says, "but they all can probably get her autograph after the show." Bobby Jon and Jamie over in the jury box particularly love this, to the point where they sort of fall on each other laughing. Steph grandly rolls her eyes, because the idea that she tries to push people around is so not true, you know?

Jeff asks Cindy if she's happy with her gameplay "ethically." Boooo! I hate talk of ethics. It just encourages moralizing. Cindy says she's happy. Asked the same question, Judd says that he, too, is entirely happy. Jeff asks Judd whether he approached the game with a "moral compass" or with an attitude that anything goes in the game. "To be honest with you," Judd says (although it sounds like "to be an ostrich," which would have been cooler), "I don't think I've lied yet. But I think I'm gonna start lying, though. Everybody here is lying about everything. I mean, for the last past couple days, there's been lies, man, over here, over there, over here, that's basically what's going on, man, I mean, everybody's sitting here like things are fine and dandy, but that ain't the case, man, seriously. So if I want to stick around in this game, I better start lying, and you know what? I'm a damn bad liar, so I might be in trouble, man." Judd really does need to be transcribed in full in order to be appreciated.

Jeff asks Judd what lies he's referring to, and Judd returns to his weird argument that Gary is a big liar because he told Judd and Steph that he would rather have Cindy and Lydia out of the game, and then he tried to make an alliance with them. Not lying, dude. Gary tries to explain this rather simple concept to Judd, saying, "That's playing the game. How is that a lie?" Judd continues to bluster, so Gary says (awesomely): "This is a lie: 'Hey, you guys. The idol is on the ground.'" HA! Nice. "That's a lie," Gary says emphatically. Judd, bus-ted, says "Okay," hoping it will go away. And also hoping that nobody will ask him to say any more words, because he doesn't know that many. But it doesn't go away. Jeff asks Gary to elaborate, and Gary explains how Judd told everyone his clue said the idol was on the ground, but that Gary followed Judd and saw him looking in the trees, which is where Gary eventually found it. What I love about that is that Gary didn't just say Judd told them it was on the ground and he found it in a tree -- he makes sure Judd gets to enjoy the fact that Gary followed him and busted him because he's too fucking stupid not to get himself caught. "Judd, you got caught," Jeff says. "You got outed tonight for lying." "Okay, all right, I lied about the damn idol, okay." And of course, it's not that he lied about the idol. It's that he's capable of going on a total moralistic rampage about something when he's completely and utterly full of shit. "I told you I'm a bad liar," he says, with what he hopes is a winning grin. No one looks won over, although Gary is wearing my absolute favorite Gary smirk. Basically, between Gary and Margaret, they've uncovered so much about Judd's hypocritical blustering bullshit that it's got to provide a little bit of satisfaction, at least.

Time to vote. Rafe will be keeping the immunity necklace. Lydia votes. Rafe votes. Steph votes. Judd votes for Gary. "Gary, you've been running around the jungle for two days, man, like a squirrel looking for a damn nut, man. Do me a favor. Get the hell out of here." As with Margaret, Judd's level of anger seems far out of proportion to the situation. Having his nonsense revealed really makes Judd very, very unhappy and he gets very, very angry. I would not enjoy dealing with Judd's anger in real life, I don't think. Cindy votes. Danni votes. Gary votes.

When Jeff reads the votes, the first is for Gary, the second is for Cindy, and the three are for Gary, so he's done very quickly. He gets up and leaves. Damn. Despite how I felt about his rather silly efforts to conceal his past in football, I did like him. Jeff gives his stupid "big battles to come" lecture, and then he sends the group home.

TiVo missed out on the exit interview and the scenes for week, but you can assume that Gary is happy with the way he played the game and that, week, Steph will be kind of bitchy about something. Just wait and see if I'm not right.