Miss Alli
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Previously on Shoving A Ball, Wish You Were Here: Nakum found Margaret's attitude a downer, and didn't understand why she had to be so bummed about their naked plans to get rid of her. At the challenge, the tribes competed for a reward by pushing a giant ball around in some kind of dystopian salute to the gladiators of a gray and sports-less future. Amy's ankle got crunched again, but she soldiered on, leaving it to other members of her tribe to lose the challenge to Nakum after Bobby Jon went all krazy kookoopants on Jamie. Because both tribes were destined to spend the evening at tribal council, the only immunity challenge of the week involved the ball-victorious Nakumians, who carried out a fairly pedestrian individual competition won by Rafe, with an assist from (no, I swear) Judd. At the first of two tribal councils, Judd flipped his lid, went off on Margaret, scared the bejeezus out of half his tribe, but got his way anyway when Margaret was sent home. Boo! At the second tribal council, the generally happy Yaxha tribe fairly reluctantly got rid of Brian, in spite of his proven ability to bust a wedge. Boo! Eleven left -- who will go out ?
Credits. Update: I now find even still photos of Judd completely unsettling.
It is night, and the leaf-carrying ants are still marching. A mouse enjoys a late snack. The moon hangs. The mouse is menaced by...a spider, I think. It's brutal out here in the night-vision jungle. It is Night 15 at Nakum as the tribe returns to camp. Because Judd has been too gracious and not nearly megalomaniacal enough up to this point, he decides to crow about how grateful he is that Margaret was booted. He tells the group, "My bark ain't as big as my bite," and I'm...not sure that's what he intended to say, unless he wanted everyone to start sleeping with one eye open. Oh, and he's nervously scratching himself as he talks, which is always a sign that all is well, temperament-wise.
Judd interviews all about how Margaret was sent home because he couldn't take the way she kept pushing and pushing his buttons. By, you know, being a woman who was smart and not impressed by Judd in the slightest. He congratulates himself for having "a little outburst" that "put her in her place." Just as with Bobby Jon, I think he has no idea what it means to put someone in his or her place. There's an implication there of making the other person look bad, or making them feel chagrined, or something. All he did with Margaret was get his way with the vote, which he was going to get anyway. The "outburst" did absolutely nothing except make Judd look bad, prove that every single thing Margaret was saying about him was true, and probably make some of the tribe feel fairly guilty and reluctant about voting Margaret out. He gives a lecture to everybody else around the fire about how Margaret lost her "mom" role when the tribes shifted, and that this "just devastated her." If he thought that, then why was he such a dick to her? It makes no sense. Nothing Judd says about Margaret makes any sense. His fixation on her is just...odd.
“ Gary, Brandon, and Bobby Jon are now wrapping in one big homoerotic clump of spinning and rubbing and whatnot. ”
We move to a challenge course that appears, at first, simply to be composed of a long strip of dirt with a series of poles along it. Jeff brings in the tribes, explaining how Margaret was booted by Nakum and Brian by Yaxha. Jeff explains that the challenge will involve four team members wrapping thirty feet of material around themselves and then unwrapping it. The way it works is that one person goes to the pole with the first bunch of material wrapped around it, and he unspools the material from the pole and onto himself. Spinning, or whatever. Then, he goes to the pole where another person is waiting. The two of them then wrap a load of material around both of their bodies, then they do the same with the person and the . Then, they gradually start to unwrap, releasing one person at a time. A fifth tribe member will act as a sort of facilitator, helping them wrap and helping them move from one pole to another without falling over. It's one of those that's really hard to envision if you've never been put in the position of sharing a sarcophagus.
So what are we playing for? Well, the reward is a famous Mayan discovery -- chocolate. (Incidentally, they weren't kidding about lots of people being beat-up from the ball -- you can see a big scrape along Danni's jaw here, too.) And the chocolate comes with a zipline tour of the jungle. I strongly recommend not eating your chocolate before your death-defying, stomach-into-your-throat zipline experience. Just saying. Nakum sits out Judd, which my fingers actually resist typing, so convinced are they that this should be followed by "Don't you mean Lydia?"
Amy is Yaxha's facilitator/wrapper/mummification coordinator, and Jamie is Nakum's. Ready? Go. Steph and Brandon are the first to wrap themselves. Steph moves ahead to Lydia, and then Brandon moves on to Gary. Steph and Lydia have a hard time cooperating, despite how bossy Steph is being. Hard to believe. I think it's safe to say, over on the Yaxha side of things, that this is the closest that the front of Gary has come to the back of another dude since his football days. One thing that's interesting is that Steph and Lydia tie themselves together face-to-face, while Gary and Brandon wind up one behind the other, which makes it much, much easier for the guys to walk together to the pole. Gary, Brandon, and Bobby Jon are now wrapping in one big homoerotic clump of spinning and rubbing and whatnot. They initially try to wrap Bobby Jon in so that he's front of Brandon, the three of them still lined up like they're paddling a canoe. But that arrangement falls apart a little, while over at Nakum, Lydia and Steph start to wrap Rafe up with them. Yaxha degenerates from its organized arrangement into a big, random amoeba shape as they try to wrap in Danni.
“ Gary is careful to take the ride not at all the way an NFL quarterback would. He rides the zipline like a landscaper, you know. I'm surprised he didn't start yelling out the names of plants. That would have been really convincing. ”
Steph fits in quite a palming of Rafe's ass as they, along with Lydia, continue to work around the pole. When that's done, they start to wrap in Cindy. It's close to a tie as the teams approach the end of the wrapping phase. Nakum actually takes a slight lead, and now it's time for both teams to start unwinding. Jamie runs to the mat, since his role is over. Then Amy finishes and heads for the mat, and Yaxha starts unwinding. As they unwind, it looks like maybe Nakum suffers slightly from the fact that their wrapping was very haphazard, and they seem to have a lot of trouble moving as a group. I think their arrangement of bodies and material is just a lot more random, and Yaxha's is slightly more ordered. Danni is the first person to be freed from the winding, and Yaxha takes the lead, but Cindy for Nakum is close behind. The climactic moment comes when serious problems befall Nakum as the clump of Steph, Rafe, and Lydia -- none of them brilliantly coordinated people -- falls over while trying to unwind. And that is not good. That will seriously cost you some time. Bobby Jon escapes for Yaxha. Gary and Brandon -- still lashed together simply, front-to-back, and therefore easily able to spin together -- make quick work of the end of Yaxha's unwinding, while Nakum still can't get up off the ground. Rafe gets out, but Brandon finishes up while Steph and Lydia are still unwinding, so the victory, chocolate, and zipline will be going to Yaxha. Nakum looks miserable as Jeff sends Yaxha directly off to their reward. Then, he insults Nakum a bit in his usual "Well, you sucked on that one, didn't you?" kind of supportive way, and he sends them back to camp. Losers!
We follow Yaxha to its reward. The group makes its way across a narrow little bridge in the middle of the jungle as Bobby Jon talks about how great it was for them to get this burst of momentum. Howlie observes from a nearby tree. Amy explains to us that because she's somewhat afraid of heights, it was pretty heady being strapped into the harness in preparation to glide down the zipline. The team affectionately encourages her not to worry. And then she takes the jump and starts down the zipline. It does look like the ride through the tops of the trees is pretty cool. I'm not sure Jeff's description of it as a "tour" makes a hell of a lot of sense, but it's not the first time he's described something rather...differently than I would. Howlie roars his approval as Amy passes. At least that's the way I like to think it happened. She reaches the end of the line and is safely unbuckled. She tells us that it was great, but that she doesn't feel an overwhelming need to do it again. Heh. Bobby Jon goes . He calls the experience "majestic." Gary follows. He is careful to take the ride not at all the way an NFL quarterback would. He rides the zipline like a landscaper, you know. I'm surprised he didn't start yelling out the names of plants. That would have been really convincing. Danni follows, enjoying herself by shrieking, which I normally don't like, but she's kind of growing on me, in spite of the cowboy hat. Farmer Beavis is the last to go.
“ People, you're all going to be living together very, very soon. This is probably not the most productive possible attitude. I'm nicer than this to people who move into my apartment building, and I don't have to sleep to them without the benefit of toothpaste or deodorant. ”
When they're all on the other side, it's time to enjoy some delicious chocolate. A very, very large amount of delicious chocolate, actually. Bobby Jon tells us that, in fact, it was "a Chocolatefest." You know, I enjoy Chocolatefest, but they never have good bands anymore since the year the fans set all the Tootsie Rolls on fire. The tribe enjoys chocolate cake, pralines, cookies, chocolate-covered strawberries, and so forth. They all eat and eat. After recapping enough seasons of this show, there really aren't any new ways to convey to you that scarfing ensues. Farmer Beavis tells us that this was his biggest chocolate pig-out of all time, and I hope that's true, because I can't really imagine a situation that would be more fitting. Well, being dumped, I guess. Because the five of them are nowhere near able to eat the amount of chocolate that's there, they decide to take it home with them, so they're all hauling containers as they go home. "God, I hope I hold that down," Farmer Beavis remarks as they leave. I hope so, too. I've really seen all the throwing up this season that I think I need to see. And then some.
Skittish windup bird.
Over at Nakum, we see that Rafe has figured out how to play cards with leaves. Today, they're going to play Uno, which I think is completely adorable. Rafe explains that he tries to come up with activities to pass the time. Aw! He says that they actually came up with a 52-card deck that they created by painting suits and numbers onto leaves. "With even two jokers," he says. Hee. Well, they do have the time, I guess. My favorite part is where Steph explains to Jamie, who seems to be new to card-playing, that you have to put the stems on the bottom. To, presumably, be able to read the numbers and such. I just like that he can't figure out how to hold homemade playing cards.
Yaxha, meanwhile, is paddling over to Camp Nakum, which Danni explains in an interview is the result of its being her birthday. They decided to "invite Nakum over for a little pool party." Gary cautions as they paddle that he doesn't want to get in the middle of anything that might go down between Bobby Jon and Jamie, and Bobby Jon promises he's too "mature" to let that happen. Pfft. Once you've chest-bumped a guy for no good reason, you're not getting back to the high road without a hot-air balloon. They tie up at Nakum's dock, and the card players look up from their game when there is a loud cry of "Nakuuuum!" There is some talk among Nakum about whether to go down to the dock and see what the deal is -- Rafe correctly surmises that maybe they'll be invited to swim in the pool. "I ain't goin' to their pool," Jamie huffs. "These are our enemies at this point," Judd snots in agreement, apparently choosing to ignore the fact that there's going to be a merge literally any day now. Steph encourages the tribe to head down, and they eventually do. Cindy, however, grumps that she's "not interested in their silly little game-playin'." People, you're all going to be living together very, very soon. This is probably not the most productive possible attitude. I'm nicer than this to people who move into my apartment building, and I don't have to sleep to them without the benefit of toothpaste or deodorant.