Previously on Outwit, Outplay, Outlast One Out Of Ulong, Please Turn Off The Lights: Steph scrambled to stay afloat after wiggling out the week before by riding to safety on Janu's emaciated back. She tried to cobble together an all-girl alliance to make a dent in the emerging power triplets of Tom, Ian, and Gregg, but Caryn balked and leaked the plan to Tom, the only person who had bothered to show her much friendship. Tom told Ian, and Ian asked Katie, and Katie pointed out that it would indeed be sad if Tom just barreled through the remainder of the immunity challenges and nobody else stood a chance. Ian claimed to briefly consider flipping on Tom, but ultimately, the safe play got the best of everyone, and Steph took the long walk to the jury. In fairness, she had seemed to be doomed for a while now, and some situations do turn out to be just as gruesome as they appear, as we all learned after reading the recap ofRiding The Bus With My Sister.
I want to begin by announcing that you will all be glad to know that my house was not, in fact, demolished by a severe thunderstorm, as the bottom of my screen throughout this episode informed me that it might be. But for much of the episode, the contestants were compressed into the top part of the screen, thus appearing shorter and squattier than they are in real life. They gave inches of illusory height to keep me from suffering a lightning strike. It's a brotherhood of man, you guys.
At Koror, we return to Day 31. The wind is rustling through the plants whose names I do not know, and the tribe is just beginning to wake up for another big day of doing basically nothing. The opening topic of the day is how bad everyone felt for Steph when she was voted off the night. They should look on the bright side, which is that Steph is probably getting to massage some Hope In A Jar into that increasingly leathery complexion of hers. Tom interviews that he was afraid he might go last night, and admits that if he were in his tribemates' shoes, he might vote himself off. For his part, Ian is wearing quite the strange-looking floppy nightcap-thing (I have no idea what that is) this morning, as if he's starring in some kind of Palau-ian revival of A Christmas Carol. Tiny Janu could sit there in the corner with her flower, ailing, while Coby Cratchet tries to bring her a Christmas coconut...I sense a very successful musical in the offing.
Tom notes that it seems that the rest of his five-person alliance is remaining an alliance. Nevertheless, he is all about covering his bases, and he takes a walk with Caryn in which she almost disqualifies herself from being recapped for the remainder of the episode by using the expression "What up, Tom?," which sounds about as natural coming out of her mouth as it would out of the mouth of the animatronic Abraham Lincoln in the Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World, but it appears the conversation is strategic, so I feel obligated to convey its basic meaning. Tom tells her that he's been "trying to think of different things," whatever that means. I mean, I often find myself trying to think of different things while Caryn is talking (puppies, angels, bottles of vodka), but I don't think I would admit that to her. Tom uses perhaps the most worn-out "colorful" saying in existence when he notes that Caryn is "more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." So you know he received his complimentary copy of Yer Darn Tootin': Down Home Clichés For The Frequently Interviewed. Anyway, Tom says that Caryn knows there's this five-person alliance, and that this suggests that if all remains status quo, she'll be to go. Caryn tells Tom that she doesn't see the point in his getting rid of her; she thinks it would make more sense to get rid of, for instance, Gregg. Caryn interviews that she's been making the case for a while to split up Gregg and Anonymous Jenn. (Incidentally, Anonymous Jenn is so spelled, as I finally noticed this week after seeing it written on her reward-challenge torch thing, to be explained shortly.) (Okay, Wing noticed. Or, I should say, Winngg noticed. ["Eh. We're all on the same teammmmmm...mm." -- Wing Chun])
Anyway, Caryn reports to us that Tom knows Gregg and A-Jenn are a menace, but he's told her thus far that he can't turn on his five-person alliance. Thus, Caryn knows she's the odd person out in the final six. She and Tom bring the treemail back to camp, and Tom reads a clue clearly indicating a get-away-from-camp luxury reward of some kind. It also indicates that Palau trivia is the order of the day. A-Jenn makes this sour little face, like, "Why can't the challenge ever be tanning?" It also sounds like it's one of those challenges where you knock each other out, and I always hate those, because I don't think anybody really knows how to play them in order to win. I always feel like the combination of aimless offense and spaztastic defense results in a totally random outcome, as if, in spite of the fact that the tribe is in complete control of the way it progresses, you sort of might as well draw names out of a hat, because nobody actually knows what the hell they're doing. Anyway. Ian tells the tribe that he and Katie have made a promise that if they win a reward challenge, they'll take each other. "I'm playing hard for this one," Ian says. I have no idea how Katie secured Ian's devotion, incidentally, and I certainly don't think she deserves it. But anyway.
Challenge swampy area. There are six little lanterns hanging over a pit of water -- one lantern for each person. It's a three-chop challenge, meaning that you answer questions, and each time you get one right, you can pull the lever attached to the rope holding up someone else's lantern. Each pull drops the lantern closer to the water, and after three hits, it drops and the person is out. After much consideration, I have decided that if I ever participate in this challenge, I would like to be represented by a three-chambered balloon animal, particularly if I manage to land a spot in the inevitable circus-themed season. ("I will now ask you a series of questions about the legend of Bonko, who managed to transport ten injured friends to the hospital in a Ford Focus.") The last person standing will win reward, which is a ride on a luxury yacht. Shower, feast, bed, and so forth. Boooo-ring. Ready, go!
Palau is famous for the Rock Islands, a question everyone gets right. Tom kicks things off by hitting Gregg. A-Jenn hits Caryn. Ian makes like he might hit Katie, but he's only kidding, because he would never, which is depressing and awkward in retrospect. He actually hits Caryn again. Blah blah pecking order blah. Caryn goes up and, instead of hitting either of the people who have already hit her, she hits Katie, just because, and because as I said, nobody really knows what's strategic to do. Gregg hits Tom back. Katie, muttering, "Surprise, surprise, surprise," gets the pleasure of dumping Caryn's lantern in the water. Caryn sits down.
The question is about the use of stones as money. Tom is the only one to get it, and he hits Ian, even though Ian is sitting there saying, "Oh, no, don't do that." That seems kind of lame for Tom, since I think with six people left, shouldn't you take people out in order of how unlikely they are to take you on the reward with them? Take out Jenn -- she ain't taking your ass on vacation! Take out Gregg! I suppose Ian already said he was bringing Katie, though, so if Tom assumed there was only one spot to fill, I suppose that might be what he was doing. Ian shakes his head in what I think is genuine frustration, because he doesn't really understand what he did to deserve any of this. Me neither. If Tom is trying to conceal his alliance with Ian, it's probably a tiny bit late.
The question involves the Philippine Sea, and everyone gets it. Tom hits Anonymous Jenn. A-Jenn hits Tom right back. Ian steps up and puts out Tom -- again, I just don't really understand the basis for all of this. Why not Jenn? It seems silly. Gregg now leans over to Katie and says, "I'll save you if you don't get me on this." Gregg is , and everyone remaining has two hits left. Gregg steps up and hits an unhappy-looking Ian. Katie says, "This is tough!" as she goes to take her shot. As she walks up, Gregg notes to her that if she hits him, he'll hit her right back, but if she hits Ian, he'll be done, and he won't be able to retaliate. Katie turns around and tries to do a cutie-pie thing with Ian, going, "Would you hate me? Would you hate me?" "Yes," Ian says emphatically, unable to believe that Katie would screw him in this particular fashion. Katie starts to walk toward Ian's lever. "Katie, no way," he says, genuinely shocked and a little hurt. She knocks him out. Ian sits on the bench. "I'm sorry, Ian," Katie tries to sing-song. "Shot through the heart!" he says, and he's laughing, but he took note of that. Not only am I sure he noted being screwed, but I'm also sure he noted her attempt to cutie-pie her way out of it, which is a really ominous sign in a woman you're supposed to be aligned with. A woman who will try to wiggle out with a giggle and a hand over her mouth is a dangerous thing, because she's fetishizing her own irrationality and trying to make it appealing, and that makes her untrustworthy.
The question concerns where Palau lies in relation to the equator, which Jeff refers to as the "E-quator," with the emphasis on the first syllable. ["I wonder if they sell much IN-surance there." -- Wing Chun] Gregg and Katie get it right. Gregg steps up. He can knock out A-Jenn, or he can knock out Katie. And now he's screwed, because he made a deal with Katie, and A-Jenn provides all the canoodling he badly needs, so what's a boy to do? Tom "helps out" by loudly reminding Gregg that he made a deal with Katie, not that Katie isn't reminding him herself. "Is that horrible if I hit you, Jenn?" Gregg asks tentatively. "You'll never live it down, ever," she pouts ominously. Jeff asks Gregg if he just asked Jenn's permission to hit her. Of course, Katie asked Ian's a few minutes ago, so it's not that big a deal. Of course, this is more fun, because Jeff gets to do his favorite thing, which is slag guys for being whipped. This is Jeff's very unappealing Andy Capp side, of which I am not fond. Tom and Ian are busy heckling, with the "Be a man!" and whatnot. "You said, 'I'll save you,'" Katie firmly reminds Gregg. And then Gregg knocks her out. "You suck, Gregg," says an unamused Katie. Maybe Katie would have overlooked it if Gregg had tilted his head and giggled. Katie, unsurprisingly enough, hits Gregg back, so A-Jenn is in the lead.
The question about the Elvis stamp is gotten only by Gregg and A-Jenn. So Jenn steps up and takes out Katie; Gregg steps up and knocks down Jenn. So here's where we stand: Jenn and Gregg are both one hit away from being polished off. One last question, and if one of them gets it and the other doesn't, that will decide the game. The question to the lovebirds has to do with crabs, which pleases the child within us all, and Gregg is the only one to get it right, meaning that Gregg wins reward. And whom will he be bringing with him? A-Jenn, of course. But then Jeff tells him that he actually will get to bring one more person. Tom, Katie, and Ian all twitch with excitement and pleading -- Caryn seems not even to be participating in the conversation -- and Gregg picks Katie, who immediately forgives him for screwing her over now that she's going to get a shower. "I am so sorry," Gregg says to the others, adding, "We'll pay you back." "Nah," Tom answers immediately. "We'll pay you back." Heh. Of course, some stupid nitwit at the network twists that into the title of this episode, and you will see up at the top of the page that the network nitwit got it wrong. Way to lose the witty retort, network nitwit. Tom, Ian, and Caryn head back to camp, and Gregg, A-Jenn, and Katie head out to the yacht.
Later, we are at Koror. Tom is comforting Ian by pointing out that the yacht would have just been "the icing on the cake," and that they "didn't come here for the icing." But Ian has more on his mind than metaphorical discussions of dessert. "Let's go talk," Ian says to Tom and Caryn. "I have an idea." Ian interviews that, at the challenge, Katie chose to boot Ian instead of Gregg: "If Katie's willing to sell me out for a night on a yacht, there's no way she's going to hold onto me for a million dollars." Probably true. Caryn, Tom, and Ian sit together along the edge of the shelter platform. Ian says he senses that he and Tom have lost control of the game, and that it's now being run by Gregg and A-Jenn. He's convinced, in short, that Gregg and A-Jenn have now teamed up with Katie, and want to get rid of Caryn, Ian, and Tom and leave themselves as F3. Which...exactly. Ian tells Tom that, as Caryn tattled last week and Katie later admitted, they're certainly ready to vote out Tom, because they already wanted to and even tried to bring him on board. "And you think Katie's in with that," Tom says, more as a statement than a question. Ian says he does. Tom voices over that Caryn gave him a warning on Katie, but that he wasn't inclined at that time to take Caryn's word over Katie's. But now? He is.
Ian further argues to Caryn and Tom that Gregg is the "dark horse" candidate for winner, because everyone likes him, and nobody would beat him in an F2 vote. Caryn pitches in, pointing out how likable Gregg is and how he's managed not to make enemies. "What do you think?" Ian finally asks Tom. "We go for Gregg tomorrow night," Tom says. "Do we?" Ian asks. "We'd tie, wouldn't we?" Caryn says they would, because three will go against her, and three against Gregg. "I don't know what the step is," Ian says. Caryn then interviews that she's suddenly had a huge reversal of fortune. I may have underestimated her decision to tattle to Tom last week, now that I think of it. "Those five had an alliance," she says. "Lucky for me, that alliance is breaking down now." She tells us her only hope is to stick close to Tom and Ian and hope for the best.
A boat takes the rewardees out toward the yacht. They're brought on board, and Gregg tells us that they were immediately told that they were going to be pampered. When they got to their bunks, they found their bathing suits -- not seen since they were marooned a month ago. Gregg has his red trunks, Katie has her pink bikini, and A-Jenn has her light blue one. They all grab showers and head up to the deck in robes to start their massages. Gregg says that with the massage happening, it finally felt like a vacation. As he lies on his stomach having his feet massaged, a strange man comes up and takes over for the masseuse. Gregg interviews that he noticed the hands getting colder and different, and then he got a giant smack on the ass -- which smack we get to see, fortunately -- and he turned to see his best friend, whose name is...Greg. I'm assuming it's "Greg" and not "Gregg," because that would just be too weird. Maybe it's "Greggg." Consonants are seriously kicking my ass this week, in case you haven't noticed.
Later, Greg shares a meal with Gregg, Katie, and A-Jenn, and then a woman and another guy show up, and there is screaming and shouting and crying, because these are A-Jenn's sister Kim (or perhaps Kimm) and Katie's brother-in-law Stan, in place of her sister, who just had a baby and couldn't come.
Back at camp, the strategy talk continues. Tom tells Ian that he had wanted to take Katie out on the boat for the reward to firm things up with her. Tom asks whether Ian is sure that Katie is ready to jump from the alliance of five. Ian is sure. I think Ian is hesitant to tell Tom that Katie actually came to him about booting Tom last week, because it will make Tom wonder why Ian didn't share that information immediately. They discuss the tie that will ensue -- or at least could ensue -- if they do it this way. They provide a little exposition regarding the purple rock rule, which states that in the event of a deadlock, the two people who received votes become safe. They don't say this part, but the person who has immunity also remains immune. The rest of the people pull rocks, and at random, one of them goes home. Ian points out that Katie can be forced into switching her vote, because if she doesn't, she'll have to pick a rock and will have a one in three shot of going home. Ian and Tom then have one of the really important parts of this discussion, in which they agree that they are, in fact, willing to pull rocks if necessary. They don't want to, but they're pretty sure they're dead meat if they don't do something, so they're just going to have to hope for the best. They are agreed. "That's the plan," Tom says. "You and I are both willing to choose rocks." They shake on it. Ian voices over that they've decided to force this tie, and that it's a risk, but that they hope Katie will realize what she needs to do and switch.
In the shelter, Ian stresses to Tom that the element of surprise is critical. "Any leaks, and we're done," he says. They bring in Caryn and tell her that she's been acting for a couple of days like she anticipated being voted off, and they'd like her to keep on doing that. "Don't be chipper," Tom tells her. "Be down and dour." Heh. She says she can do it, and then she tells us in an interview that she's a very good actress and looks forward to the challenge. I suspect Caryn is indeed capable of acting snooty when the situation calls for it. That does not shock me.
The yacht pulls into a lagoon. Dolphins are seen. And it's all very nice, but what can I tell you about it? They are dolphins, and we have all convinced ourselves that they are the soft-hearted and huggable Cabbage Patch Kids of the animal kingdom, and that if they were people, they would speak softly of love and read The Bridges Of Madison County. None of which is probably true, but what are you going to do? The castaways swim around with the dolphins, convinced that they are experiencing something of nature. A-Jenn cries about how her sister got to see dolphins with her and now they're bonded for life or something. You know, I consider myself very closely bonded to my sister, but apparently, I simply don't know what I'm missing, because she and I have never gone swimming with dolphins together. Also, this is "the most magical moment" of Katie's life. Poor Katie. A-Jenn, for her part, "never wanted it to end." Yes, that's right -- she wanted to swim with the dolphins until she grew old and died, pausing only to allow passing boats to throw sardines that she would catch in her mouth.
That night, the rewardees and their loved ones have a nice dinner together. This, as Gregg explains, was the time for strategy. He was ready to confirm with Katie and Jenn that the three of them were going all the way to F3 together. Part of what's great about this interview is that you can tell they did it after he got back to camp, and he does it with the perfect confidence of Driver's Seat Guy. Dude has no idea what's going on -- none. Katie, too, interviews that she knew all along that she might have to shift her alliance at some point away from Tom and Ian. She seems equally confident as she tells us that her strategy is always to be aligned with whoever is making the decisions. It's really not a bad strategy, all things considered. ["Worked out well for Sandra, after all." -- Wing Chun] Katie isn't playing badly; she just doesn't know what's going on yet. Back at the dinner table, Gregg asks who should go if Caryn somehow manages to win immunity tomorrow. Which...is not likely. But, okay. They agree that Tom is a threat, so in case of an emergency in which the world goes insane in the form of Caryn winning a challenge, they'll take out Tom. Gregg talks in his interview about how good it felt to secure this agreement. Ah, yes. So comfy, all the comfort.
The morning, we are at Koror, where an antsy Ian, Tom, and Caryn are getting ready to put their plan into action. They see the boat approaching, carrying the returning reward people. As they go out and look, though, they see that there are other people on the boat. And in a very bad moment, Ian and Tom realize that these are loved ones, meaning that the "loved ones" moment has come and gone, and they are not going to be part of it. Tom chuckles in an interview that this was the realization of his worst fears, since it meant that he would not get to see anyone. Nevertheless, the visiting L1s are greeted warmly. There is a conversation between Ian and Katie's BIL Stan, in which Ian assures Stan that he's looking out for Katie. "I promise that," Ian says. Oooh. Promises to the family! Pretty heavy.
Gregg and Gregger take a walk together, and Gregg voices over that when Gregger had to leave, it was very hard for him. Apparently, Gregg's dad died about a year ago, and he and his mom must be really close, because he gets very weepy asking Gregger to give all the love to his mom back home. They hug. Aw, boys. Boys who love their moms! That's why I love Colby, too. Well, it's one of the reasons. A-Jenn and Katie hug their L1s as well, and everyone takes off. "Now it's time to get control of the game again and focus on the coming six days and what needs to be accomplished," Tom says. "That little trip that they took may cost them big," he adds, as we watch all the waving goodbye. I have to say, I really was surprised that it didn't occur to Gregg that taking his entire alliance with him and leaving the other three people together wasn't a good idea. I understand he wanted to take his girl and felt obligated to take Katie, but there's a point at which you have to watch how much privacy you leave the people you're scheming against.
The day, Day 33, Gregg opens a treemail box and shows the tribe a clue that implies that this is the loved/dreaded Second Chance challenge, where you repeat challenges from weeks, because...seriously, dude. The challenge producers work hard. Let's give them a week off. When Gregg reads the "or tonight you could be through" part, A-Jenn goes, "Woooow," like she's really surprised at the strong language. Maybe someone ought to tell her that it's not actually a death threat. In fact, anyone who is spooked by treemail needs to be less easily frightened, I would say. Ian reviews the situation in an interview and points out that obviously, the worst-case scenario is for Gregg to win immunity. "I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure I come across the finish line first," Ian says.
Challenge beach. Obstacle course. Jeff welcomes the tribe, and then takes the immunity necklace back from Ian. Jeff tells them that, indeed, this challenge, it is all about the second chances. It will be elimination-style, meaning that the last person to finish each segment will be eliminated. So all six of them will do a "net maze." Five of them will then assemble a sea star puzzle. Four of them will eat three balut. Three of them will race to untie a box, get a flag, and run it up a flagpole. And the final two will compete in a shooting competition. First person to knock out their three targets will get immunity. In order to understand how much I can't stand recapping second-chance challenges, you should imagine how much you know I hate recapping challenges, and then double that. Logical, isn't it?
The net maze comes down to a race for last place between Caryn and Katie, and Caryn goes out. Not a big challenge threat, that one. In the puzzle-assembly phase, we see the end of Katie. Now, the balut. Unsurprisingly, Tom and Ian are the first two to get the balut down. Ultimately, A-Jenn knocks out her own boyfriend. It's interesting to contemplate...what if she had lost and Gregg had gone on and gotten immunity? Would they have acted against her this week? Waited for week? Certainly could have changed the game. Anyway, Tom, Ian, and Jenn go into the untying of the box, and Tom and Ian finish ahead, knocking out A-Jenn. So now, Tom and Ian know that they control immunity. In the shooting challenge, Ian gets his three targets on three shots, while Tom -- for whatever reason -- continues to have very poor aim. Ian winds up wearing the immunity necklace again. Not easy to take immunity away from these boys. Jeff sends everyone back to camp.
Speaking of which, back at camp, the tribe brings its outrigger up onto the beach. Tom interviews that Ian beat him out for immunity, and says the gun is always his downfall. He adds that it's a good thing he's a firefighter and not a cop. Heh. Out in the woods, he and Ian have a chat in which he points out that he was in more immediate danger than Ian was -- they figure Tom would have gone , after Caryn -- so it's only right that Tom will have to pick a rock and take the risk if they have the tie, while Ian will be immune. It's interesting to contemplate that only Tom, Ian, and Caryn knew during that reward challenge that no matter how much they like each other, you can bet Tom and Ian both tried like hell to get that individual immunity, because they know it was their only ticket out of a possible rock-drawing scenario.
Tom voices over that there's a plan to go along like everything is fine, when in fact, they do intend to vote for Gregg tonight and change the game up. Tom seems to fully expect that the rock thing will happen. Tom calls himself "very vulnerable," but says that he'd rather go out trying to save himself than sit around waiting for the Gregg/A-Jenn/Katie group to bump him off. Just then, we see Gregg walk up to talk to Tom and Ian. Tom is telling Gregg that it didn't really matter who won immunity, after all, as long as it wasn't Caryn. Gregg gives a little speech about how awesome it is that they all stuck together, just like they planned. Heh. Gregg interviews that being away from camp for a bit made him nervous, so he was very relieved to see that he has nothing to worry about. Just a plain old day at camp, yes indeed! "No mysterious looks and no people trying to connive," as he says it, just before sealing his own fate by saying that he can confidently say that the bootee this evening will be Caryn. Gregg even tells Tom and Ian that you can tell Caryn knows she's going. Because, you know, she's acting so down in the dumps. Man, she played him, that's for sure. "Caryn's in the Janu place, huh?" Tom says. "Well, that's what happens when you know you're done," Gregg answers. Pfft. Ian tells us that Caryn's current performance is of Academy-Award quality. I might have to steal the expression "in the Janu place" for the time I'm laid low by a combination of stress, malaise, and sucking the bag.
"So," Gregg says, "it should be uneventful probably?" Something inside Ian's brain has an electrical malfunction that causes him to say, "I think it'll be interesting how the whole thing plays out." BAH! Gregg perks up at this, like, "'Interesting'?" "No," Ian stammers. "Just, it's gonna be..." Tom saves him: "It's always interesting." Oh, Freud, your slips are such a bitch. Gregg walks off, apparently none the wiser, since he's...not that wise, really.
Gregg and A-Jenn take a moment at the shelter for some well-deserved gloating. "We're solid with where we're sitting," Gregg says. A-Jenn and her blue bikini feel "so rejuvenated." A-Jenn wants to move on to the boot after this one, where she's excited about being able to boot either Ian or Tom, as she and Gregg prefer. "Oh my God, we have...majority rules," she says. What could go wrong now?
And now, Katie and Ian have a talk. He asks her how things are, and she says things are fine. Ian tells her he's been thinking about family, and reminds her of the conversation he had with her BIL earlier, in which he promised to look out for her. "That's still the deal for me," he says to her. Ian now explains in a voice-over that Tom and Katie are the only people in the game he's made promises to. He adds that he told her BIL that he "had her back," and he thinks that counts for something, and he intends to stick to it. "What I wanted to talk to you about was, we're going to flip it tonight," he says. "What do you mean?" asks a concerned Katie. "Caryn and Tom and I are going to vote for Gregg," he says. Katie looks unhappy. Gregg looks over, wondering whether Katie is talking to Ian about anything. Ian tells Katie that unless she votes for Gregg, there will be a tie, and she will have to pick a rock. And, notably, Ian won't, which is what makes him the perfect person to deliver this news -- she can't come back with "Well, you will, too!" Katie makes a face at the mention of the rocks. She then interviews that Ian pulled her aside "right before" they were leaving for tribal council, which means once again that, for once, somebody knows what he's doing. Katie complains that she thought, and told Ian, that it was "really unfair" for them to come in and just tell her what they were doing without consulting her. When she was out on a boat plotting against them, like, five minutes ago. Unbelievable. That's truly one of the worst efforts at righteous indignation I have ever heard, and you know how many seasons of this I've watched.
Even more unbelievably, Katie basically cops to what she was doing, telling Ian flat-out that, sure, Ian and Tom have saved themselves -- but what about her? "I was in a good place," she complains, apparently referring to her ability to flip back and forth, as if Ian is going to care. Ian is basically like, "Tough," as he should be, because seriously, she needs to shut it. Katie actually tries to get Ian to admit that she's justified and morally right for not wanting to take Ian to the finals, because she won't win. Or something. And of course, she's within her rights to do that, but he's equally within his rights to try to get the win for himself. She's one of those people who has no feel for symmetry. It's like he's supposed to admit that for him to try to win is a betrayal of her, which...it kind of can't be. Ian tells her that if they were to face each other in F2, it would be "a lot closer than you think." "That is such crap," she declares. And while I tend to agree, it's also true that Coby and Janu are already on that jury, and they are typical bitter voters of the type who rewarded Amber instead of Boston Rob on the basis that he was the one who beat them. These people could go the same direction. Probably won't, but could.
Elsewhere, A-Jenn tells Tom that Gregg has just mentioned feeling "paranoid," but she says she told him he had nothing to feel paranoid about. Good one! Tom assures her that there's nothing to be concerned about. And of course he would tell her, I guess is her theory.
Back at the Ian/Katie talk, he tells her he'd rather see her in F2 with him than see her get dumped now because she wasn't smart enough to jump while she could. "The reason Ian wants me with him in the end is so he'll win," Katie says in an interview, somewhat indignantly. And...Katie. Seriously. The reason you want Ian not with you in the end is so you'll win. See how it's oddly reversible? It's the same! He's him! You're you! Otherwise? Same thing! Katie says that she'll have to make her decision based on what she thinks best serves her chances of winning. And who could be against that? Well, except Katie, if someone else were doing it. And Lex, I guess.
Tribal council. Jeff welcomes the team and brings in the jury. Steph is a pretty girl, but she was hotter as a castaway, because that is some Jersey mall hair she's working. Jeff then asks about the politics of the reward and asks Gregg how he felt about it. Gregg allows that it's an awkward situation, and that while it was great to go on the reward, it was very tough to leave the team back at home.
Jeff then asks about the way the reward challenge itself played out, and Caryn mutters that the team thought she'd had too many food rewards or something. Jeff insists that the way you chop ropes in that challenge is a big deal -- look at how Gregg asked A-Jenn if it was okay to take a shot at her. The tribe all laughs at Gregg, but Jeff says he's serious. He then turns to Jenn and asks about the perception that she and Gregg are a couple. Her answer is too boring to repeat. Gregg then gives a speech that is the same. You know, they're playing their own games, blah blah.
Jeff asks Caryn about bringing all her stuff with her to the challenge. She says that she always expected to be voted out, from the very beginning when she found herself on the outside of an alliance of five, along with Janu, Willard, and Coby.
Jeff asks Tom about the fact that, now, it's six people who have all been together. He asks if this changes the game. Tom says that they're all friends, but that they're all looking to "slit each other's throats," and that they all understand that it's a game and so forth. For once, I think that might actually be true for most of them. Shocking.
Does Ian want to give up immunity? He does not.
So now, it is time for the vote. Tom votes. A-Jenn votes. Ian votes for Gregg, calling him "the dark horse" again. Gregg votes. Caryn votes. Katie votes. Jeff goes off to tally. When he returns, the first vote goes to Caryn. Second to Caryn. Third to Gregg, who doesn't look too freaked. Fourth to Gregg, who abruptly looks very freaked. That's a problem, and he knows it. Jenn makes a concerned face. Fifth vote to Gregg. And sixth vote? To Gregg, the thirteenth person voted off. "You guys are good," Gregg says as he stands up. Coby -- totally scandalized in his Mork shirt over on the jury -- makes a face of hilarity and covers his mouth, like, who cares, dork? They beat you. (Miss Alli's Mom, showing her usual good taste in contestants: "Coby, it's not about you anymore.") Ian goes over to Jeff, and his torch is snuffed. A-Jenn makes a very, very, very unhappy face. Mixed with shock. And food poisoning. Jeff tells the tribe that it's clear that no one is safe, and then he sends them back to camp.
In Gregg's exit interview, he manages to say, essentially, "no hard feelings," and do it in a way that sounds a lot like he has no hard feelings. I'm not sure how that was managed.
week: Ian and Katie have some kind of incredibly emotional fight. What's that about, man? I wish she would stop sucking, because if she did, no one left would really suck.