Props to Miss Alli and her consistently evocative recapping prose. I've never even seen this so-called "Brady" character I keep hearing so much about, and even I'm heartbroken that I can't gaze upon him anymore. Er, "anymore." See how good she is?
Previously on Survivor Vanna White Is On Fire Or Some Such Silly Thing: actually, I don't know what happened. I haven't seen this show since, like, a year with a "9" in it. But I watched it obsessively for the first two seasons, and it seems that, aside from the names of the characters and the quality of the boob jobs, little has changed. So pardon me if some of my Survivor lexicon comes across as a bit dated. Speaking of which, did anyone ever find out if it was really Kel who stole all that beef jerky? Y'all, the whole country's talking about it!
Scary, scary darkness envelope the inhabitants of Vananananatu. A full moon lingers overhead as a subtitle informs us that we're joining the good people of the Yasur Tribe in the middle of "Night 12." Rory and Ami haughtily tear branches apart to show the rest of their teammates what "work" looks like, as Scout sits idly by acting the role of Yasur's mascot, an actual bump on an actual log. Rory -- ensuring that his fire will provide warmth and spite in equal measure -- mutters ruefully to no one in particular: "Y'all need to leave me alone right now." Happy to oblige. I'm sure they'll just...oh. I guess he's not finished. "'Cause y'all are showing me something I'm not real impressed with." Well, then, if you'd rather we just go, it's no big... "Perhaps for the peace and tranquility of this tribe, it would be best for me to hold my tongue until tomorrow morning." Yes, Rory. Yes, by all means, hold your tongue.
Or, instead of the holding, embark on a lengthy congressional filibuster about his surefire strategy going forward: "The ladies made a mistake in telling me that I would have been ay-liminated [sic] before Bubba was. And so what I'm going to basically do is I'm gonna play it up." So either Rory's foolproof plan involves ingratiating himself to his new teammates by acting like an irredeemable prick, or this is just the introduction to the Opposite Sketch. Because...guh? Back at camp, Snore-y rants on, "You got me up on the auction block." They have him up on no such thing. In fact, unless a fast-talking man at a podium with a gavel intends to sell "Lot Rory" to the highest bidder to "the lady in the back with the red dress," what I believe they have him on is the chopping block. Scout concurs, telling him, "Don't say I got you up on the auction block." Sigh. It's not like I expect these malnourished, uprooted, cholera-drenched castaways to walk around the island constantly referring to their dog-eared copies of The Vananananatu Manual Of Style, but "auction block" and "chopping block" mean completely different things, even though they are merely one word apart. Like, "you're mangling the idiom" and "you are an idiot"? Different. But the same.
Rory continues with his confessional, still succinctly trying to lay out his two-pronged approach toward inoculating himself against further threats from his tribe: 1) act like a total prat to his team, and 2) explain via a series of loopy, nonsensical confessionals why it's such a brilliant and strategic move for him to act like a total prat to his team. Let's listen in! "The thing I need to watch is, I can't push these ladies too far...my thing is to come off as an upset, angry brother who is welcomed back into the fold." For someone with absolutely no power going into Yasur's elimination (and from what I've seen of this team, for Yasur there's always about to be a elimination), this is certainly a complex plan. But we'll forgive Rory his delusions. After all, life's been hard for Rory ever since they hoisted him up onto the Jenny From The Block.
"Rory would like to tell everybody off right now, but that would just seal his fate," Scout explains from the comfort of a nearby confessional, even though Rory seems to believe that he is telling everybody off right now and that it's what's keeping him off of the Chuck Knoblauch. "He's sittin' over there on his pity pot, so hopefully he'll wipe his ass and get off and get over it and, y'know, start a new day." Oh, Scout. She's either such a salty old broad or she isn't! Because, I mean, really, how would I know?
Volcano! We're off to Lopevi. I know it's the name of a volcano or whatever, but every time I see it in print it reads in my mind like some brown food my grandmother tries to force down my throat every Rosh Hashanah. "Try the Lopevi. It comes in a darling pickled jelly." She might have said. Because they have a tendency to win a lot in this episode and because this show has a tendency to laugh and point at the losers, I didn't really come away with as much of an impression of Lopevi. They seem to enjoy steak. And for their luxury items, not one of them seemed to have brought an auction block. Do they still allow luxury items? Is that something they still do? And when did this show stop airing on the Dumont Network? What time does it air in Pangaea? Where are my bifocals? I'm old!
Sorry.
We join Lopevi on the morning of Day 13, where we find Lea (I believe he is the one you call "Sarge"?) carrying a large log. On this team, they carry logs. On the other team, they impersonate them. See how I make vast generalizations with very little actual information? It's easy if you don't try. Over in a confessional, Lea is all, "It's a blessing to have women around. I'm not saying we need 'em. I'm not saying it would be any different one way or another, but it's good to have 'em." This is precisely the language Adam used to woo Eve. Check it out, y'all. It's in The Bible. As he says this, Lea's man boobs shake with glee because he has mood boobs and they never lie.
Lea now sits by the campfire in the middle of shucking or whittling, as if we've just happened upon him while he's out in the wild, shucking or whittling. He tells the rest of his assembled team (meaning Julie, whose cleavage apparently contains her ears, his staring would indicate), "We got women around. Now my dreams are starting to get elaborate." Like, sometimes he dreams that he and Julie are riding a train really fast into a dark tunnel or that he and Julie are on a spacecraft that's taking off, and then he wakes up and his bamboo stalk mattress and his pile-of-leaves blanket are all wet and he runs to throw them into the washing machine before his mom finds out about it.
Chris (was there a Chris the first time I watched this episode? I honestly don't think there was) tells us how "interesting" it is that a pretty woman is playing the game (Ami is sitting at home right now, watching this and being all, "Hey! That's not...oh, he's right. Sigh"), noting, "Somebody like that can fly underneath the radar and sweet-talk their [sic] way into the final five, and then, y'know, boom! The thing you know, they're sittin' there waitin' to win the money." Who knew the distracting scourge of ugliness would be such a deterrent to victory? Because, Chris? Pack your bags, dude.
Julie, however, wouldn't know a "boom" if it stared at her titties and dropped a roofie into her Malibu Sour. She's sitting on a perch, explaining what she feels she left behind in her other team: "Women are more passive-aggressive than men are. I don't know. And that's all you would get over at Yasur." Back at the camp, circumstantial banter abounds as to who they think got booted at last night's Tribal Council, and -- wait, who's that guy? How did Elliot fromJust Shoot Me end up on Survivor? I mean, I know this show is often scripted and that show rarely ever seemed to be, so this is technically a jump upward career-wise, but you think people would be making a bigger deal about it.
Twila and Julie take a walk through the woods, Twila telling us in a twangy voice-over that seems to come replete with implicit banjo accompaniment, "Julie and I actually talk now. That's more than I can say we ever did over at the other tribe, 'cause I never actually talked to her over there." Twila is able to be really nice to Julie because she doesn't perceive her as a threat. Julie is able to be really nice to Twila because she thinks that Twila is one of Lopevi's men. Together, they are Hick & Thick, a reality spin-off if ever I've heard one. Twila tells Julie that the only protection they have against the alliance of the men is to continue winning challenges, and then expounds upon this notion in her ensuing confessional: "We're both vulnerable. We know it. Y'know, they could be blowin' smoke up her ass like they're blowin' smoke up my ass. Y'know, I don't know." Seriously? I've got a shiny nickel and an underarm trimmer for the first crusty old matriarch who manages not to couch her competition-based metaphors in the imagery of the human ass. I'm sorry that you have to poo in the ocean, but you're the one who signed the contract.
Tyra Mail! Er, I mean, "Treemail." Yasur discovers a rough-hewn wooden box with a small fake (I think) pig inside, and Lisa sounds out the note using her context cues: "You are likely to become exhausted/ So here's to mud in your eye." Lisa editorializes, "Oh, god," while Eliza silently considers what trough there is big enough to fill her gargantuan eyes with mud. Continuing on: "It's all for creature comforts/ To help improve your sty." The consensus is that they're going to be partaking in pig wrestling, which for some reason causes them to spontaneously do a group cheer where they all link hands and scream, "Yasur!" Don't get used to saying that word and smiling at the same time.
But first, healing. "My apologies to all of you for the horrible, horrible things that I said to you in my mind last night," Rory explains. In his mind? He said it all to himself? Was that sequence where he was rebuking them all for their shoddy treatment of him a scene from Survivor Herman's Head? "When I get angry, I tend to become extraordinarily hurtful." He vamps on that he came to them with the intent to be completely loyal to them, and that he couldn't go back to Lopevi because now that Bubba's gone, they'll think he sold his old teammate out. ["Which he did, but even if he hadn't voted for Bubba, Bubba would still be gone, so I doubt the men of Lopevi would hold that against him. Although it is true that Rory will be the first to go from the original Lopevi alliance, that has nothing to do with Bubba's departure and everything to do with the fact that they hate Rory." -- Wing Chun] I'm sure there's some faulty internal logic at work here I could pick to shreds, but, again, I haven't seen enough of this season to know what it is. "I will not continue to slave around camp ["he just had to say 'slave,' didn't he" -- Wing Chun] if I do not have a shot of making it to Tribal Council." In the confessional that follows, he tells us that his speech was intentionally cheesy and was just designed to sway the ladies with his brand of fierce smooth-talkin'. It's a nice bit of damage control, but I kind of didn't believe a word of it. ["I resent it because I don't think he'd be trying to get men to break a pre-existing alliance on his behalf by making them feel guilty; I think he's trying to guilt the women so that they'll go out of their way to prove they really are nice, and he thinks that will work because they're women and are basically soft-hearted, which is a pretty sexist tack for him to take." -- Wing Chun] Besides, if his explanation about his actions doesn't come with an ass-related explanation, how are we supposed to know what he's talking about?
Challenge! Jeff "I Knew Phil Keoghan. Phil Keoghan Was A Friend Of Mine. You, Sir, Are No Phil Keoghan" Probst explains to both attending teams, "On the island of Vananananatu, pigs are highly valued. They're currency and they're a status symbol. And right now, they have a value to you." Jeff directs their attention to a nearby pen filled with wee pigs, with their hair (do pigs have hair? They look like piggy mohawks) dyed each team's color. He tells them that five tribe members must grab two pigs each, and that each team must appoint a gatekeeper to make sure their pigs stay caught. The winner will receive six steaks, an announcement that sends the two teams into protein-deprived rapture. The pigs themselves can't be too happy about this whole challenge, but at least it's a relief to find out that they're the reward and not the "reward." Lopevi announces that Julie will be the gatekeeper for this challenge, and Scout will be the gatekeeper for Yasur. I'm sure she'll do fine, but Julie really always struck me as more of a keymaster. Watch her performance and I'm sure you'll agree that there is no Julie, only Zuul.
"Survivors ready? Go!" Rory are John are first into the pen, and I take this time to notice for the first time how much more compelling John is as a contestant when he's competing without his shirt off. They each grab a squealing, writhing pig in short order, and John dirties himself up by running back out and collecting his second pig posthaste. Chris collects one for Lopevi as Lisa takes about forty-five minutes to get back to the gate and Probst takes the time to announce, "Lisa's got a big pig!" Oy vey, as Lopevi might say on the high holy days over a heaping portion of kosher Lopevi. Eliza and Chad (who?) are as Lopevi pulls into a 4-3 lead. Eliza drags her lanky frame around the pen, kind of shadowing the pigs more than actually capturing them. Meanwhile, Chad grabs a pig with minimal difficulty and increases Lopevi's lead. "Still no pig for Eliza!" Jeff yells triumphantly as she glances back to her simmering teammates and asks desperately, "Does somebody else want to go?" Leann runs out and throws herself into the mud with determination. This challenge kind of rules, but could be slightly improved upon if, say, John were back out there, the mud were replaced by pudding, and the pigs were replaced by...well, me. Just as long as they kept Twila out of there, because she's not making this look fun at all. She's cornered a pig and advanced on it, and as a Psycho-esque music cue picks up (touché, Burnett), she advances on the poor thing all at once and hurls it into her team's pen. Lopevi is up 7-4. 8-4. Sarge's mood boobs are conscious of the task at hand, so Sarge has four eyes staring for his two remaining pigs. He wastes no time in grabbing his two pigs and winning the challenge for his tribe. They celebrate accordingly while Yasur looks on in a downcast slo-mo. One more demoralizing loss and, make no mistake about it, someone is back on the cock block.
"We slaughtered 'em!" a voice depressingly undrenched with irony screams. Dude, if you're making a pig pun? At least know you're making a pig pun. I ask for so little. Only that. And also, "Is this show really still on?" And also, "Really?" And finally, "Don't you think that Colleen Haskell is going to be a big star one day? She's totally America's sweetheart." In a confessional that puts waaaaay too fine a point on their victory, Twila learns us right nice: "We kicked their ass and we done good!" The members of Lopevi frolic around on the way back and prepare their steaks, which they eat in an orgasmic glee Sarge proclaims is "better than sex." They unanimously predict that Eliza will be on the butcher block, I guess because the sudden influx of protein into their malnourished bodies has clouded their minds into believing that people on this show ever get eliminated based on their actual performance in the challenges. Anyway, VOLCANO!
Back at Yasur, the tribe members wash themselves off in the ocean to the sounds of stunned, non-steak-y silence. Leann confessionalizes, "That was really, really, really a hard challenge to lose." And yet you all made losing look so easy! Well done, Yankees! Uh, I mean, "Yasur." Leann adds with hidden meaning, "It would have been nice to win...THE PIG CHALLENGE!" Stop yelling at me, Leann. She reminds us that Eliza was the only one not to get a pig, asking, "Did she even get dirty?" Lisa and Rory paddle around in the ocean and talk about alliances because this is a game of LIFE AND DEATH, Lisa recounting the last forty-seven challenges they've lost, and Rory responding, "If we lose tomorrow, the immunity challenge, I'm going home and you guys are sunk." Or he can stay and wildly oversell his value in the Transparently Self-Promoting Arts. Y'know. Either way. Rory tells us in a confessional that Eliza is "killing this team," and a contrite Eliza lingers by the campfire attempting to apologize. But if you actually say something you feel to someone's face, your hand turns black and falls off, so Lisa just smiles and lies and smiles and lies: "Do not worry about it. Don't worry about it. You know what? It's just a steak." In a confessional, Lisa proclaims herself "aggravated [sic]," telling us that Eliza was the only reason they lost.
Now Eliza's crying by the fire, Leann consoling her as Eliza tells her, "I like Scout as a person. I wish she wasn't here. I just think that if she wasn't here, that would have been a challenge where I would have able to be gatekeeper, but we've got Scout and she's got her knee." Hog-tying might not be Eliza's best animal adventure, but she's a crack shooter at scapegoating, I see. And I love the logic that if Darwin's worst contestant were done away with, it would open up another slot for someone as equally incapable of physical activity. And that that would be a GOOD thing. Eliza understands that cutting off the head of Heather Duke only causes another Heather's head to pop up in its place. Leann tells her that she's just making excuses for herself, and Eliza admits that she is, also admitting, "I want to believe that we can win a challenge against this all-male [plus Julie and Twila] tribe, but...I don't think we can." But Leann won't be so defeatist, responding that she's not ready to go down because "there's a bunch of muscles [sic] on the other team." Rory sticks to his talking points, noting that if Yasure chooses to keep Eliza on, "they're signing their own death warrant." He hopes for a "fissure" or a "crack" among the women, and quietly celebrates, "I think I just found my tiny crack." Well, before you do anything to it, the scatological imagery of the two teams this week first requires that you blow some smoke up it and wipe it. Then it's yours.
Cut to a sunrise that might cause the Lopevis to sing a chorus of "Sunrise, Sunset" before breaking bread on this Sabbath with some Lopevi and maybe a nice brisket. Julie, bikini-clad, comes climbing out of the ocean with an announcement: "I'd like to tan my ass." I'd like to tan your whole hide, Ghoul-y. Over gratuitous shots of her could-actually-be-tighter abdomen, Chad leers creepily and informs us that he's glad the tribes have gone co-ed because "it was getting a little stagnant there for a while." I'm sure Yasur feels exactly the same way. Oh, how I wish the editors were able to construct the exact same sequence on the other team, as the women looked on approvingly at Rory's physique while he lay glistening in the sunlight. Ew. Maybe I don't actually totally wish that. Julie shares with us in a confessional that she likes flirting, and that it "comes naturally." Because she's a tramp? Her blurry ass faces up toward the sun as Sarge tells us that "Julie was tanning her buttocks region...if you got it, sunbathe it." Is this really what passes as an acceptable subplot these days? I can't stand that begging approach to asking people to find you hot, when you're all, "Man, it's hot. I think I'll pour this sports drink all over myself" at the cross-country meet. Would I be enjoying it more if this scene belonged to Brady? Something tells me I probably would. ["Definitely." -- Wing Chun]
Twila goes banana-picking standing on Sarge's shoulders, and he tells us that he would pick Twila as a best friend. "I could pal around with Twila. I'd drink a beer with Twila. I'd go to the race with Twila." I would put Twila in a box. I would feed Twila to a fox. "I'd also put a dress on Twila and go out to dinner with her. Because she is a lady." As Julie slaps her forehead and is like, "SHE IS? That is the most cunning ruse she's pulled on us yet!" Using his stunning powers of mathematics, Sarge notes, "Chris, Chad, and I are three. Three is a real odd number." No! "Four is always better." He neglected to explain that two can be as bad as one, and that it's the loneliest number since the number one. He promises Twila that she's in the four "until the end," but she tells us that her teammates are all "lying sacks of [bleeeeeeeeeeep]." She wonders if she's just being played as a fool. But it doesn't matter. Because they'll never lose again.
"Immunity, back up for grabs!" Jeff tells us as we're back at Challenge #2. Yasur and Lopevi gather on the beach and...well, I tried with a wild lack of success in the recaplet to describe what they were doing, so we'll just let Probst tell it: "Four tribe members will start on a floating platform, where you will find eight wooden tiki pieces. Each tribe member must transport two tiki pieces to the beach by moving them along a rope through a water obstacle course." Kah? They have to maneuver (though it's really more of a gesture) the pieces around a canoe, climb them over a wall, guide them through an underwater hitching post, through a truss, and onto the beach. Once they're on the beach, two people from each time have to put the tiki together on a tiki tower, which gains the team immunity. Sometimes, I type things I still can't actually believe exist. Yasur maroons Scout and Lisa to solve the puzzle once it's on the beach (that means "placing one piece on top of another, for those of you who wondered if Eliza would try and stage a coup to eclipse Scout into the position of "hapless cripple"), and Lopevi sends up Chad and Twila, because at the end of the day, that team is completely equal in matters ranging from swimming to hunting to running to ass-tanning.
Okay. Can we get this over with? "For immunity! Survivors ready? Go!" The usual impassioned screaming that kicks off all challenges kicks into gear, as Chris and Ami kick things off for their teams. They swim with equal aplomb, navigating the pieces over the wall and elsewhere. Chris gets over the wall first but Ami remains in hot pursuit, as the drama is high and the soundtrack is a furious fugue for string and trombone in the key of "Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee- bomp-bomp-bomp- tromboooooones!" Chris heads into the truss first, but again it's all in the margin of error. Chris hits the blanket first, his two-pack heaving from the strain.
Rory and Sarge hit the water. Sarge takes the lead now and makes for the hitching post, while Rory makes it to the wall, which is either in front of or behind his competitor. They make it to the truss at the same time, and they're dead even as Leann and Julie both hit the water. And then, you see, the soundtrack goes all strings heavy and "doodle-y DOODLE-y doodle-y DOODLE-y," which means something has gone terribly wrong. Leann has frozen in the water, unable to continue. Rory yells nonsensical directions from the beach which, if recapped, would probably only come out, "Leann! I need to find a fissure or I'm going to end up on the chockablock!" anyway. Leann goes down and comes right back up several times as Eliza stands on the platform, thankful that she won't be the one responsible for her team's physical wilting again. Somehow, I still find Eliza completely responsible. John hits the water and catches up to the hitching post, and it becomes clear when he does a cannonball into the water and its consequent compromising of his bathing suit that this show might warrant one more go-round during a future week so see him actually, y'know, talk or be on television. Always the silent hero, John hands the pieces off to Chad and Twila, who build the tiki idol in one second's time and sends Yasur back once more to the New Kids On The Block. Sorry. Last one. I promise that's it.
So it's Leann, right? I mean, look at that performance. Or possibly El-eye-za, for her striking lack of ability in the art of the pig toss. Or perhaps it will be Rory, for his general adventures in douchebaggery and also to fulfill a destiny that has been so long in the making. Who else could it be besides one of those three? No one! That's who. What is that you saaaaaaaaaaay?
Dejected but not broken -- nah, they're also broken -- the good people of Yasur make their way back to camp. Partners in loserdom Eliza and Leann hold hands in hopes that their combined Wondertwin powers might cause them to take the form of one cumulative competitor. Leann gives voice to these emotions, explaining in a confessional, "I hate more than anything letting my team down." She starts to cry, and Eliza is there to comfort her, reminding her, "I know how you feel." But she's also got a big smile on her face, because of the schadenfreude, which, tastier than steak. Leann tells Eliza that she just wants to stay in the game and stay in the island, and Eliza gives a quick furtive glance around and tells her, "I don't think there's any doubt in anyone's mind that you will be." Leann wipes away a tear and tells her, "You guys make me feel like the best loser ever!" Nah. That'd be...Byron! I thought I'd try that once now that I have the crowd on my side.
Hang on just a sec while the show shoehorns in some quick random development from some other time completely in an effort to rationalize the ending. Ami says that she's going to go get some manioc, and Lisa quickly volunteers to go with her. Ami says that they might not need that many people for this particular chore, but Lisa pushes on in a line so important it's also rendered in subtitle: "I'd like to go, just to see where you're going and what you're doing, in case...you know." Ami takes great umbrage at this statement, but Lisa quickly recants. Ami thinks this calls Lisa's trust into question, noting, "Watching is the best way to figure it out, and I don't really love what I see when I watch her." Ami tells Lisa and Scout that she doesn't feel comfortable voting for Rory, and Scout responds that she'll be voting for Eliza. Ami has a problem with this, tending her too-long, too-lean body language in a download, giraffe-y motion, and telling Scout, "I'm not voting for Eliza. After Lisa's comment, I'd vote for Lisa before I'd vote for Eliza." When pressed for why, Ami tells her, "Your comment was just rude." And like you, me, and the Sunshine Band's KC, even Lisa has no idea what she's talking about. Lisa tells her that Ami should trust her and that she hasn't done anything, but Ami tells her that she feels anger building up toward her. Lisa promises that she's "here to the end," and Ami makes her swear on a bible. A, er, hand bible. In a confessional, Lisa angrily tells us, "I'm not gonna kiss Ami's butt to stay in this game." No. No, you sure won't. Scout tells Rory, meanwhile, that Lisa and Ami are in a "tiff," which causes Rory to celebrate in a confessional, "Amazingly enough, my name is not going to come up in Tribal Council today." It's NOT? Not at all? This is the most delusional deduction I've seen since every time I played Clue when I was younger and was always like, "Miss Scarlet!" and was somehow wrong every single time.
Tribal Council, where the native spirits are invoked except everyone most everyone is white and Anglo. Other than that, spiiiiiiiiirits! Jeff kicks it off with Yasur, informing Scout that they have not won a challenge since the teams redivided. Scout promises, "We don't feel whooped yet." Jeff asks Leann how responsible she feels, and she replies that she feels "a lot responsible." But it doesn't matter, because Jeff cuts to it with his question for Scout: "Given the choice of voting out somebody based on loyalty or based on strength...which way would you lean?" Scout chooses loyalty because that's exactly what's wrong with this show. Jeff asks Eliza if people can trust her. Her eyes widen and some people in select Southern Hemisphere nations report a freak eclipse whereby "an enormous shadow suddenly passed across the moon," and she responds, "The people that I've told that they can trust me can trust me." Lisa also says that people can trust her, and Ami agrees with Scout that it comes down to loyalty in the end. Jeff asks Rory where this leaves him, and he tells Jeff that he's clearly "on the hot spot." Hot seat. You're on the HOT SEAT. Jesus. Our adherence to proper word usage has plummeted in this country since the government tacitly allowed the pronunciation of the word to change to "nucular." Take back the night, people. Rory adds, incredibly, "My ass is hanging out, Jeff." Can I please be excused from the table?
Eliza votes. Lisa votes for Rory and adds a frowny face, saying that she has to do it to prove that "her word is good with the ladies." Rory votes. Ami votes for Lisa. Leann votes for folding her paper neatly. Scout votes for Rory. I vote for Kerry. Oops. What?
Probst wants people to know that the loser has to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. Lisa. Rory. Rory. Lisa. Lisa. "Seventh person voted out of Survivor: Vanananananta is Lisa." She brings her torch forward and, as it's snuffed out, snarks, "True to my word" and is gone. He sends them back to camp with a note that the women had been sticking together, but, y'know, not anymore. Isn't that just the way little girls are?