Previously on Yasur, That's My Baby: the women formed factions, as girls are wont to do when they don't have organizational structure like a pageant or a sorority. Oh, wait, so did the men. So, never mind. Oldsters versus youngsters was the theme of the day on both tribes. John P. did the math, and knew that five was more than three. As result, his team undoubtedly began calling him "The Professor," because everything is relative. The men couldn't get into the homoerotic hugging, though, and they lost the reward challenge. Rory proceeded to throw a hissy over being subjected to the indignity of a victory dance. Rory needs to be exposed to a few more hissy-inducing experiences, I do believe. Lopevi won the immunity challenge, and finally got flint so they could start a fire. I certainly hope they are never marooned in isolation with nothing but a volleyball and some ice skates, because they definitely would not live long enough to be nominated for Oscars. Back at Yasur, Dolly tried to do the Dance of the Swing Vote, and when she refused to commit, Eliza saw the opening and engineered the ouster of the shepherdess herself by going against her old friends. There was a great lesson in there somewhere about "live by the sheep, die by the sheep," but it was hard to see it, because of the volcanoes. "Who will be voted out tonight?"
Credits. Do you think this season has something to do with volcanoes? It's just a feeling I'm getting.
Night Volcano! We are at Yasur, observing in night vision as the women return from tribal council. It is Night 6. Only Night 6? How can I be so tired already? Eliza interviews that Dolly was under the impression that she was the deciding vote, and as it happened...not so much. You know, seriously. The people who win tend to be either (1) masterminds or (2) faceless cogs, so I never understand why people think they can stake out ground in the middle ("I'm an especially important swing cog!") and get away with it. In other news, Eliza's face looks exactly like a lemur. I knew she looked familiar.
Mia and Julie demand to know how the vote switched to Dolly, and Eliza acknowledges to us that they're not too happy with her. She points out, quite correctly, that she did what was needed to stay in the game. Eliza tells Mia and Julie about Dolly's claim that she was going to vote for someone at random, and how Eliza got scared that Eliza would be booted. Mia, meanwhile, tells us that she and the rest of the Bowheads had thought Eliza was with them, but that she "conspired with the other girls" to get rid of Dolly. "Lisa and Julie are the only girls I trust right now," Mia says. I'm sure Eliza's heart is breaking over dropping in Mia's esteem. I know mine would be. What if she doesn't invite me to the party where she tells everyone who the cool people are? She says that they'll talk to Eliza tomorrow about "where her head was at." The "up her butt" answer is always just too easy when that question comes up.
Clouds flying toward us at unnatural speeds can only mean that time is passing, and before you know it, it's morning. And what happens in the morning? Volcano! Over at Lopevi on Day 7, they're still working on upgrading the shelter, it would appear. As the rest of the guys build, Sarge wonders where Rory went. Rory, actually, is off in the woods, finding himself a bit of a citrus tree. He returns to camp with what appears to be a bag of lemons, but the guys are already not sure about him. There's a good joke here about when life gives you lemons, or when your Survivor teammate gives you lemons, or something like that, but I'm very much too tired to appreciate it. Did I mention how tired I am? And it's only Night 6? Sigh. Sarge explains that Rory doesn't do enough physical work, and isn't a "team player." Although Sarge is loving the lemons, of course. "In a team, you can't be your own man all the time," Sarge says. Sarge actually pulls Rory aside and tries to talk to him about pulling his weight around camp, which...hey, that's not what you do! You talk about him behind his back! Hasn't Sarge ever seen the show before? Golly. Rory -- not picking up that Sarge is kind of doing him a favor -- interviews that Sarge "wants to dictate when people take a crap, when people take a bath...I'm a grown-ass man, and I don't take orders real well." I will admit that even before I became a grown-ass woman, I did not appreciate people dictating when I took a crap. Rory tells Sarge to come talk to him if Sarge thinks he's not pulling his weight. You can see that Sarge kind of wants to be like, "You mean...come talk to you again, much as I'm doing right now?," but he doesn't say it. Sarge won't last long, if he keeps making with the restraint like that. J.P. agrees that Rory "has been isolating himself from the group." He tells us that this is "key in decision-making," as we see a bunch of tired goofballs of the Sarge alliance resting together, literally bumps on a log. Not like bumps on a log. Actual bumps on a log. J.P. adds that he's hoping that the alliance that booted Brook might begin to experience discord, and if it does, might decide to get rid of Rory and come to him instead. Ah, yes, profiting from the unhappiness of others. A long and glorious reality-television tradition
Reedy, horny music. (Like music with horns, not "horny music." Grow up.) Yasur, Home of the Turtle Flag. Twila is sharpening a machete, not that she wants you to take anything away from that. Mia looks at her, biting her lip, thinking, "I wonder if she'll stab me if I say something really rude. I kind of want to find out." The Youngsterettes discuss going on a "food hunt" today, and Julie suggests that some kind of organized job rotation might be good, so that there isn't any friction about uneven workload. Instead of just accepting this as the good idea it is, Mia starts whining that it's so unfair that Twila talked last night about some people's not doing their share of the work. Mia bitches about all the hard work she does, and cranks the bitchface up to a level 20, which is two points higher than it was on the day she was born. Twila, sitting nearby, knows very well that this is aimed at her, and she starts to say something back, but Mia snaps back at her that the Y-ettes have done "a ton of work." Yeah! Where would the team be without...their soft skin and well-exfoliated faces? Twila claims she never said they didn't do any work, which is completely true -- in fact, more true than they deserve. Mia's defense boils down to the claim that they would do all the stuff Twila does if she didn't do it first -- starting the fire and such. Which is what Julie was talking about when she suggested implementing a chores rotation, so why doesn't Mia just say yes and render the entire thing a non-issue? Because, like many of history's troublemakers, Mia would rather have it to complain about then fix it. ["God. EVERY SEASON. I'm so sick of this fight." -- Wing Chun] "It's the card that you're playing," Mia whines, "and it's gonna backfire!" Yeah. Being the hardest worker and being on an alliance that's bordering on a majority? That's quite a tenuous position in which to find yourself. Twila insists that she never said the Y-ettes didn't do work. She merely said some do more work than others. Mia bitches that Twila wants to be "the martyr." I think, actually, that Twila is more concerned about trying to be "the one who eats" and "the one who has shelter" and "the one who doesn't die of scurvy, exposure, or rickets." I admit, with shame, that I want to be those things too. I am such a bitch.
This is the thing with work at camp in this situation -- you really can't sit around and be like, "I'd do work if somebody would just ask me." Because there are going to be other people who are going to look around, see what needs to be done, and do it. And if you aren't that person, then you're going to do less work. Because nobody likes to have to come and find you and tell you to please do your share. That's what's stupid about the way Mia starts to insist that if Twila weren't there, they'd still have fire, shelter, and food. "I would do it if it were that or dropping dead" is not a great defense to a request amounting to "pitch in, pumpkinhead."
Aaanyway, despite Mia's brilliant, Clarence Darrow-like verbal sparring, Twila comes right back and points out that the Y-ettes will work for five minutes, and then they'll go play in the water, and Mia knows it. "Don't give me no bullshit, bitch. 'Cause I will whip your butt." Hee. But Mia is uncowed: "It's your only card, keep playing it!" she yells. Um...good one? Yeah, not really. I pitied the woman who had one card, until I met the woman who had no cards. Mia interviews about how she and Twila had a big fight. Which we just saw, so...I'll just be over here filing my nails until you're done recapping what just happened. "I can't stand Twila. I want her out," Mia says. There's a little more swearing and fighting, and Mia's still mad, and Twila's still sharpening. Twila interviews: "Mia's mad, because she knows I was right." Well, of course. "Get off yo' ass and do somethin'," she says. "Quit sittin' on the beach and goin' swimmin' when everybody else is workin'." Mia gives Twila some more shit about how she won't be "fake" and pretend it's all okay, which I'm sure is really upsetting to Twila, who just wants everyone to get along and is really troubled that Mia is unhappy with her. No doubt. Twila finally tells us that she decided not to argue with Mia anymore. "I'll whoop the little scrawny bitch's ass, 'cause I don't care. I ain't here to make no friends." Wait, scrawny bitch ass-whooping? That would be my favorite episode of all time. I might have to crank the TiVo up to Best Quality.
Twila sharpens her machete. But she's really as sweet as pie.
Volcano! Eliza and Julie go for treemail on Day 7. Julie wants to know Eliza's situation, because Eliza is "sketchy" in the eyes of the rest of the Y-ettes. Eliza says that she never made any alliances with the O-ettes; she just switched over to save herself in that one vote. As they pick up the treemail, Eliza re-explains about voting for Dolly. As they head back to camp with the treemail, which is shaped like the side of a cage, they run into Lisa and Mia. Eliza gives them her word that she's still with them, and she and her awning-style bikini tell us in an interview that she...gave them her word that she was still with them. Presumably it was at that part we just saw, where she did that very thing. Mia tells the Y-ettes that she wants to get rid of Twila. "I can't staaaand that bitch anymore," she says. Then she gets in Eliza's face and points at her, all, "Eliza -- don't switch." Well, when she puts it that way, I'm sure it will work. No one can say no to a barked order and a finger in the face. That's what we did with the British when we wanted independence, you know. It was all barking and pointing. Mia tells the Bowheads not to worry: as long as the four of them are strong, they can make it happen and get rid of somebody else. As they walk, Lisa interviews that she's not so sure she trusts Eliza, but assures us that she has "a backup plan." Her chest is just really unsettling.
Back at camp, the women all read the treemail, which features the usual suck-ass poetry. They're able to glean from the suck-ass poetry, however, something most disturbing: the challenge they're headed for is going to involve immunity, which tips them off that tribal council is coming a lot sooner than they thought. Leann tells us that they were just at tribal council last night, and they're not crazy about going again already. Eh, suck it up and vote. Nobody likes of person who talks about voting but refuses to actually do it. Don't be all Ben Affleck about it.
We swing over to the beach where the challenge is going to be held, and a red-hatted, dark-shaded Probst welcomes the men of Lopevi. The music announces their arrival just as if they weren't the latest and most watery cast of a show that ruined itself six months ago and shows no sign thus far of returning to life. "Look good," Jeff says. "Feel good, Jay-uff," Travis offers. Jeff calls the women in, and as they approach, the men try to figure out who took the boot. Sarge can't figure it out. "Who's gone there?" Probst offers Dolly's name, and J.P.'s like, "Dolly, the blonde." "Barbie's gone," Sarge offers. Shut up, Sarge. I'm not sure you're one to be embracing obnoxious stereotypes, unless you want me to run through how to make you from a recipe consisting entirely of characters from Beetle Bailey. And yes, one of them is the dog.
Probst takes back the Immunity Pole from Chad. (Chad's Immunity Pole is totally the name of my satirical Survivor dirty movie, no?) Probst reveals that this particular challenge will cover both reward and immunity. Lisa claps, because, yay, immunity! And yay, reward! And yay, boobs! Well, not the last one. I'm saying, unsettling. ["I call her Grapefruit Boobs." -- Wing Chun] Jeff tells them that both tribes will be voting out one member later today. Separate tribal councils, separate voting, and so forth. The first part of the challenge will be tribe-on-tribe, and it will be for reward. The tribe that wins will move on to an individual immunity challenge that will eventually grant one person immunity for tonight. In the other tribe, everybody will be vulnerable. This is really way too much procedural complexity to unload on people who spell each other's names wrong as often as these guys do.
The reward part of the challenge involves getting through three cage walls lined up in a row. To get through the first one, you untie planks until you can open a gate. To get through the second one, you'll throw grappling hooks on ropes, dragging back three keys from the other side of the wall, which you'll use to unlock a gate. For the third one, you'll untie a bunch of poles, and then climb through a hole. And now, to learn what they're playing for. It's a fishing kit, including a Hawaiian sling, which...just gives me hives looking at it, actually. I am having Pirate Loonybeard flashbacks. There's also line, and there are hooks, there's a mask...it's your basic Soporific Fishing Sequence In A Box. And, today, someone will eventually play for individual immunity in the second part of the challenge. I'm telling you, these people are already confused.
Survivors ready...go! The teams run up to the first walls. The guys seem to spread out to work on different knots, while I guess the women think they can gang up on knots to untie them faster. The guys get the first gate open and run to the second wall. Jeff chastises Yasur for "moving slow." Yeah, you try it, punk. Travis and J.P. work on throwing the grappling hooks and dragging the keys back. Yasur gets through the first wall and, leading with Eliza's boobs, they run through to the second gate. Elsewhere, J.P. finds a ring with a hook. And that's not dirty, and I don't even know what it would mean if it were dirty, but it's not. But it seems like it is, which may be because it's him. I don't know. Scout's first toss of the hook doesn't go far enough. J.P. pulls back a key. Yasur hooks a key, and Twila pulls it in. J.P. hooks another key, and they drag it back. But in a most unfortunate turn of events for the boys, J.P. goes to throw the hook, and he loses it completely, so it goes flying to the other side and is lost for the moment. Scout twirls the hook for so long that Jeff asks her whether she's "going to throw that thing or dance with it."
Man, I hate recapping challenges.
Leann grabs Yasur's second key, and Twila reels it in. Lopevi has decided to go after their grappling hook, which I kind of don't understand, since they only have one left to get. I mean...just get the key, right? Whatever. Anyway, they pull their hook back, and J.P. then snags their last key as Scout blows the throw again. The guys have all their keys, and they unlock their gate and go to the third wall. Twila pulls in the last Yasur key, and the women start unlocking. Elsewhere, the men are starting to untie the poles at the final wall. When they're untied, the guys start crawling through a chest-high opening in the wall. Sarge -- in a move that's sure to make him fairly unpopular -- yells at the guys as they go through. Seriously, man, being a leader is good, but these guys are going to get really hungry and tired soon, and barking at them is going to make you a big fat target, no matter how lovable you think you are. I'm saying, Beetle Bailey. Sarge and Brady start bringing guys through the opening -- again, not dirty -- as the women unlock the last wall. Sarge himself is the last to crawl through, and the men run to the mat, victorious. So they win reward, and they'll move on to individual immunity. The women go to have a seat, since they have been abruptly rendered irrelevant. Which might be unfortunate, except that it's these particular women.
So now, the men will be packing fishing stuff so that they can provide the interminably dull underwater sequences that have been boring the crap out of viewers for several seasons now. Nobody being bitten by a shark? Not interested. Ocean floor, yada yada yada. Fish frolicking. Attempts to manipulate team opinion by providing food. Got it. Honestly, if things keep going the way they are now, there's not going to be anybody left that I'm really dying to see slithering dripping wet out of the ocean, either. Anyway, the wind ripples the guys' shirts as Jeff explains that in this challenge, each guy will dig in a lane in the sand for seven rungs that fit only one way on a ladder. When you've dug up all your rungs, you'll go and assemble your ladder. When you have it put together, you climb to the top and claim victory. Each guy takes a spot. Ready? Go. There's not really all that much to say about guys digging in the sand for ladder rungs, is there? Well, except that everyone laughs at Travis's ineptitude, because there's no point in casting a comic archetype if you're not going to squeeze a few yuks out of him.
Chad is now showing off that foot without any hesitation, I notice. Chad is the first to get all seven, followed tightly by John K. John is slightly quicker with the puzzle aspect, though, and it is John K. who scampers up the ladder in first place and takes individual immunity. Jeff calls the challenge for John K., and as John comes down from the ladder, Jeff says that there is one other twist that they might want to hear about. John, it turns out, is going back to camp with the girls. He gets all "Duuuude" for a minute, and so do some of the women, because it's been seven days without male attention, and some of them are undoubtedly about ready to wilt. There's no point in sloughing off dead skin cells for girls to enjoy, you know. Jeff, however, breaks in to tell them that it's not permanent. In fact, it's only for the day. And during that day, John is supposed to check out the women for the purposes of deciding to which of them he wants to hand off his individual immunity when the men's tribal council ends and the women's starts. In other words, one woman of John's choosing will also be immune, but he won't tell them who it's going to be until he hands off the necklace. Jeff sends everyone off, the women taking John with them.
Yasur, still on the afternoon of the endless Day 7, returns to camp dragging its beefcakey prize. John recaps for us what happened before the commercials, in case we were sleeping, or are stupid. When they all first get back to camp, the first thing John says to them is that he wants everyone who voted for Dolly to raise her hand. Because they're trying to ingratiate themselves with him, I guess, they actually answer, which is really dopey, because now he knows what the alliances are. That's probably information they'd rather he not have. Should've told him to go get bent. If they all did, he'd have no one to hold it against. Mia, amusingly, completely fails to get it, claiming that this move "made no sense" because "what does it matter?" He's reading the room, idiot. It's remarkable that her intellect can possibly be so watery that she doesn't grasp that particular obvious truth.
Yasur Plus John sits down in a circle, and he asks them all what happened with Dolly. They stupidly tell him. And by "they," I mean "Eliza," who -- once again -- can't stop talking. She interviews that she felt like she needed to explain, and it seems to be true, based on the fact that she goes on, and on, and on about it until everybody is looking around uncomfortably, wondering whether it will ever end. As Eliza and friends wander with John, Mia and Lisa snidely note that the more Eliza talks, the less John will like her and the less likely he is to give her immunity. John gives the "she's a really nice girl, but...OH MY GOD" speech in an interview, and then we see him sitting down for a chat with Mia, Lisa, and Julie. All of whom, needless to say, are quite happy to see him, because looking at him is a lot better than looking at maggots. They ask him not to give immunity to Twila. Nor, interestingly, to Eliza. John interviews that he could give a damn who gets voted off; he just wants to get through it without making any enemies. Smart boy, that one. Just as the Y-ettes conversation is humming, none other than Eliza walks up and sits down. Mia's all, "Ew, tell her to go away," but nobody does, so Eliza sits down. You know, you can't really expect a girl to return to your alliance if you treat her like the only unpopular girl at the table. Not very pragmatic, Mia. Asked if she's "teetering," Eliza promises that she isn't. "You're not voting for me tonight," Mia declares. "No way in hell," Eliza agrees. Somebody puts up Scout as "a detriment in challenges," but Lisa says she doesn't want to vote for Scout. She'd "rather vote for Twila than Scout." John interviews that all is not harmonious in the Yasur tribe. Good catch, genius. Showing a nice complement of figurative teeth to go along with his shiny literal ones, John claims that it will be "fun" picking someone to save from being voted off while all the girls are fighting. As the Y-ettes walk back to camp, Eliza is confronted over her remarks to the effect that she doesn't want there to be a tie, and Mia is being all Mean Girls about it, and it's very tired. Mia tries to argue that all they have to do is get rid of an O-ette tonight and they'll be golden. Mia interviews that she's pretty certain that tonight will be a tie, and that her fight with Twila this morning will mean that the Y-ettes vote for Twila, while she expects the O-ettes to vote for...her, actually. She points out, though, that there's still the wild card of individual immunity, so who knows? Yeah, maybe John will give it to her. Some guys go for the girl everybody else hates. And by "everyone," I mean, "me."
Back at Lopevi, the men are basking in the glow of victory. In an interview, however, J.P. says that he needed individual immunity more than anyone. We watch as he prepares to go out fishing with the new sling. He considers himself at this point to be a "dead man walking," and the only person as dead as he is might be Brady. ["The possibility of Bradylessness makes me sad." -- Wing Chun] Brady and J.P. have a chat about the fact that if they're going to save themselves, they're going to need a plan. And their plan, specifically, should be to go to Sarge and say that farther down the road, he'll be better off in an alliance with them, voting off, perhaps, Rory at this point. J.P. interviews, with some relish, that Sarge and Rory "have been having some conflict," which could be helpful.
We cut to a gorgeous high shot of Rory, alone out in the water. I wish they would stop littering this show with really outstanding cinematography. It confuses the two sides of my brain.
Meanwhile, Sarge is back at camp with Brady, talking about what to do , and Brady is making his case for Sarge to think farther down the line. He talks about the post-merge dynamics, which is a dead argument on arrival, in my opinion, because there's way too much you don't know about the time between now and then. But Brady basically offers Sarge an alliance with the three remaining young guys -- himself, J.P., and John K., presumably. It's undoubtedly tempting, because if you believed that would hold, then as Brady says, you'd feel pretty comfortable about winning later challenges and having your alliance hold up. "It's possible. It's possible," Sarge allows. Brady insists that this isn't even underhanded -- it's just a nice, clean alliance of four.
Sarge sits down for a discussion with Chris, saying that he's concerned about Rory, just in terms of not liking to "work to him." Chris gets very intense in a beer-commercial kind of way, saying, "We'll deal with it -- but this just isn't the time!"
Volcano! The men set out for tribal council. Sarge tells us how much he hates this part, because he hates building up a team and then going after it. It's a good thing that eliminating everybody else isn't, say, the entire point of the show, because if it were, that would look pretty goofy, that comment right there. "Ya ya ya!" says the music as the men walk single-file along the beach.
Sunset! Over, undoubtedly, Volcano! We move in on tribal council, where the men approach. John is welcomed back from his sojourn with the chicks. Asked how the tribe is progressing, Chad says that there has been "camaraderie since the very get-go." Putting aside the unadvised nature of the expression "the very get-go," that's just fine. He adds that they've been built up by winning some challenges, so they figure the thing to do now is to get rid of everyone who's causing them to win challenges. Well, he doesn't say that, but it's true. Jeff asks Brady whether any of his first impressions have changed, and Brady chooses to say that Sarge is more "personable" than he would have expected. Translation: "Not as much of a dick as he seemed like when he first started yelling at everyone, an impression that seems particularly acute to me especially now that I'm trying to get in an alliance with him."
Now, Jeff asks John about his trip to Yasur. Jeff asks how "aggressive" the women were in trying to get him to give them immunity. John tells the story of how he sorted the alliances by asking them about the Dolly vote, and the guys all raise their eyebrows and laugh in surprise, like, "Who would have thought they'd fall for something that stupid?" "Who knew young John was this bright?" asks Bitchy Jeff, my favorite of Jeff's incarnations. I like him even better than Large Arms Jeff. Jeff asks John if he feels confident about his decision giving away immunity, and John says he does. In fact, he's "150 percent confident." He's confident-and-a-half!
Jeff says that, for now, it's time to concentrate on eating one of their own. Asked how he plans to vote, J.P. says he wants the group to be as strong as possible. And he says "skill sets," which is officially the term I am most tired of hearing in reality shows at this early stage in the fall season. Jeff asks Sarge if it's a tough vote or an easy vote. Sarge talks about how it's not friendship, it's just a game, and adds, "The person going home tonight's a casualty of war." Ech. I kind of am not crazy about the war-dead metaphors for the reality-show bootees at this point in history, man.
Mercifully, Jeff announces that it's time to vote. And remember, no voting for John, because he's wearing the ugly necklace. John votes. Chris votes for J.P. "I might be weaker than you physically, but I'm stronger than you mentally," Chris says. Actually, I think you're weaker than he is both physically and mentally, which is why you're voting him off, but I don't really expect you to say that. "It's just a game," Chris adds, as if he fears that J.P. will come after him with a hammer and a fifth of vodka. Rory votes. Brady votes for Rory: "Ain't nothing personal, man, I'm just being consistent." Travis votes. J.P. votes for -- I shit you not -- "ROYRY." J.P. says he's hoping for the tie. Or, as he would write it, the "TYIYE." Chad votes for J.P. "This is our strategy. Sorry, my friend," he says. Nice. Calm, simple, and even true. That guy is dead meat. Sarge votes.
Jeff brings back the vat-o-votes, and reminds us that the person voted off has to leave immediately, as if there's some long history of weepy scenes and nightmarish refusals to leave the "tribal council area," with people clinging to the torches and throwing themselves into the prefabricated fiberglass pit of flames. Jeff reads a vote for Rory. And one for J.P. And another one for J.P. And another one for Rory. Rory, J.P. And then, again, J.P. So J.P. leads 4-3 going into the final vote. Which is for...the third person voted off: J.P. Aww. He was cute, though dumb. Disappointed, J.P. brings over his torch and is snuffed. SNUFF! He turns and waves. The guys look at him longingly. I mean -- they look at him in a completely manly fashion, not at all suggestive of repressed lust. Jeff's like, "You keep talking about keeping the tribe strong, and you're voting off all the strong people. Interesting theory. Get out." They get up and leave. Well, except for John, who has to hang around for the second tribal council.
In his exit interview, J.P. says that while he lost, he was not "outwitted, outplayed, or outlasted." Well, "outlasted," dude, right? I mean, you're gone, and they're still there. I think that's kind of all it means. But why quibble? Anyway, he's all, "What an experience," and he's gone. Kind of too soon, eye candy-wise, but there you go.
Moon! Which affects...Volcanoes! Okay, not really.
The women of Yasur approach for their very own tribal council. They encounter John, waiting by the fire pit. Jeff welcomes them back, and tells them that Lopevi already took its vote. He reminds them that John is here to pass off his immunity necklace to one of them to make her safe from the vote tonight. Jeff turns it over to John.
After some poorly-timed commercials, we return to see a skull. And some torches. But no Volcano! Jeff says once again that one of the women is about to get individual immunity. "John, give it up," Jeff intones. "Give it up, baby, give it up," he unfortunately does not add, although that would have been awesomely disco. John stands. He walks over to the women. He takes off the necklace. New comets are discovered. M. Tiny begins to receive college brochures. And John gives the necklace to...Ami. She looks around nervously. Eliza grins at her, like, "He likes you, eeeee!" Jeff asks John why he gave it to Ami, and John says it's because of all the women, she's the one he was sure had no chance of being voted off anyway, so this will result in their voting off whomever they were going to get rid of without him. He says that they need to figure it out for themselves. Wow. Pretty deep for a guy with a buff tied around his head, and who's such a student of the game that he's now outnumbered 5-2 on his own tribe. Jeff tells him to grab his torch and scoot.
Now, on to tribal council. Jeff asks Ami if she's surprised that John chose her for the necklace. She says she figured he would use it on someone he actually thought might be voted off. Jeff turns to Scout and asks her how things were back at camp after last night's "surprising vote." She offers that Mia was "a little pissed off at the vote," and notes with a smirk that Twila and Mia kind of went at each other this morning. Mia insists that this wasn't about the vote, though -- it was about being called out for not working, which she didn't think was fair. Twila insists that she isn't sure why Mia was so offended by what she had to say last night: "I just said what I felt." Julie says she thinks it goes deeper than that. Julie is one of those people who talks in a sort of constant nasal stream of vocalization, and you could almost classify her voice as a folk instrument, if it weren't so frightening. Julie says that she thinks Twila hasn't made any effort to communicate with her, nor to "build anything" with her. Except the shelter, of course, and she's kind of not into building that, because she'll get dirty and gross and sweat a lot. Twila counters that the Bowheads don't give her an opportunity to talk to them. She says that they give her dirty looks, act like they think she's stupid, and so forth. Mia -- who is even more nasal than Julie -- counters that Twila speaks to her in one-word answers, and seems to have perfectly fine conversations with other people, and Mia doesn't understand why Twila doesn't talk to her. Here, Twila explains that she communicates better with men than she does with women, and she doesn't deny it. "I am a tomboy," she says. "I do weld, I do fix trucks, I do those things." Mia smirks. HATE. I wouldn't talk to Mia, either, and I can't weld or fix trucks, so there. Twila says that she doesn't think she has anything in common with the Bowheads that she could talk about. "Until you walk in somebody else's shoes, don't judge," she says.
And here, Ami -- who should learn the Apprentice's lesson of shutting up when she's safe -- starts in on Twila about how she should get to know "these girls." "They're just girls!" she says. "They like to play on the beach, they like to do girly stuff." She asks Twila if she's, I guess, taken the time to ponder that or something, and Twila's like, "Well, no." Ami tells her that this is her big chance to find her feminine side. Dude, on Survivor? I've always thought it was a good opportunity for the non-girly-girls to explore their non-leg-shaving side, so I guess I'm the fool in this situation. Twila says she's not sure she has -- I kid you not -- "a femineminem side." Ami suggests, as the scene grows more absurd by the second, that Twila explore whether the girls would be willing to French braid her hair. Twila allows as how that might be all right. "I can try that," she says. Why she doesn't say "Well, if we bond over work instead of hair-braiding, then we would have bonding and working" is beyond me, but there it is. "You can do my nails, too, while you're at it," she adds with a smile. Aw. It's Bowhead Eye for the Worker Bee Girl.
Jeff asks Scout what her vote will be based on. Scout cites "maintaining a healthy emotional attitude in camp." Jeff clarifies that the vote is about getting rid of someone who interferes with that, and Scout agrees. "Mia," Jeff says, "you're rolling your eyes, shaking your head, closing your eyes...you're like the little doggie in the window." Snerk. Mia says that Scout's statement is "pointed towards" her. Interesting that she knows, isn't it? That when you say "causing disharmony," she's like, "I am not! I mean...um, like who?" She says that the fight was "on both sides," so she doesn't think she's "causing emotional distress." Eliza is asked if she knows whom she's voting for, and she says that she does, but she would keep everyone if she could. She's so adorable I just want to poke her in the face with a pencil eraser.
They're sent off to vote, with the added caution that they have to remember not to vote for necklace-wearing Ami, as much as her Ode to French Braiding might have made them want to.
Mia votes for Twila. "You said you can't relate to women, and unfortunately, you got stuck on an all-women's tribe. I don't want to spend another day on the island with you." Lisa votes. Ami votes. Scout votes for Mia. "Your volcano erupts more than I like. Good luck in finding a husband that'll put up with you." Wow, that's right out of Great Knee-Slapping Misogynist Insults of 1962, Scout, so thanks for that. Julie votes. Leann votes. Twila votes for "Mea." "I think you're a young woman who's got a big chip on her shoulder. I think that you've got a mouth and a half, and I think you need to go home. That's all." Eliza votes for Twila. "I think you have an amazing work ethic, but you can't be here anymore, sorry."
Jeff brings out the votes. Twila. Mia. (Who rolls her eyes.) Twila. Mia. Mia. Twila. Three to three, two votes left. vote Mia. And last vote...Mia. Julie covers her mouth in horror. Eliza's jaw drops open. I guess you can tell who switched, huh? Heh. Mia gets up and heads out. And wow, oh, wow, good riddance. Bitch and a half. "Bye, Mia," Eliza says sadly. Jeff tells them that he gets the idea that the seven of them want to be a strong tribe. Now, we'll see whether it happens. Ami drops the immunity necklace, and they head back to camp.
In her exit interview, Mia says that she met "some amazing girls," as well as some people she never wants to see again, like Twila. I'm sure Twila is quite heartbroken. She calls Twila "deceiving" and "horrendous to [her]." Most entertainingly, she declares that Twila doesn't "have the social skills to play this game at all." Not like the charming Mia, who is still in the game, of course, due to her social skills. Oh, wait -- she's not. Sorry. Must not have the social skills.
week: Brady tries to use fish to ingratiate himself into the group. Lisa gets into it over changing her mind. Eliza, who changed her mind last time, is like, "That bitch." Well, sure.