Last week on Survivor: On the verge of the merge, Gervase made an upsetting cow-ment, but Joel took the fall. Tagi continued its plotting to rule the world. Or at least to rule its twenty-by-twenty foot stretch of beach.
This week Stayfree shows up in a commercial about leeches, and surprisingly she's not cast as a leech herself. If we want proof that Survivor isn't a staged production, we need only watch Stayfree's acting disabilities in this brief appearance as she faces the difficult challenge of jogging and speaking at once. Such range.
Just Peachy shows up at "Rocky Point" on Day Nineteen. He tells us the ten remaining members of Tagi and Pagong will merge in three days, and that they will now compete as individuals against each other. We see various shots of the S10 going about their business and an odd shot of a very suspicious-looking Jenna as she winds some twine waist-deep in the ocean. Peachy dramatically says, "What kind of world will they now create?" He then tells us something we actually haven't already heard one hundred times: that in order to begin the process, an "ambassador" from each tribe will "assess the livability of each other's camp" and have a "summit" on the "sand spit" to determine where the two tribes will live. Jenna is Pagong's ambassador and Sean is Tagi's, and we're shown very pretty pictures of each of them in which Jenna wears a new dark blue sarong purchased at the local Pulau Tiga Target.
Sean is guided to Pagong's beach by Greg, and Jenna is guided by Kelly. According to Peachy, this is the first time they've seen each others' camps. Richard says, "Our camp is way better than theirs, just from talking to them. They don't have a living room with benches, never mind a decent kitchen. I think our house is better from what they've described. We have fish." Ah! The almighty fish! Or something that looks like a fish, anyway. Jenna volunteers to Kelly that Pagong has been unable to catch fish, and Kelly asks when they try, thinking Jenna might say right after a big rock concert or during the tribe's synchronized swimming competitions, but it turns out the teams fish at the same time and maybe Tagi's success has something to do with their fishing spear.
Sean hikes with Greg and says, "But yeah, we got the gay guy, the gay compassionate guy," which is right in keeping with Talking Rudy Doll's sentiment that, "He's fat but he's good." Sean says that Sue "says whatever the hell's in her mind," and we cut to a shot of Sue saying whatever the hell's on her mind, which happens to be, "We like having company over here at camp." She's worried that they don't have "a whole lot to offer for lunch" and this to me sounds like when the Big Bad Wolf invites Little Red Riding Hood over for "dinner." And we all know it does no good to befriend dinner. Sue's gonna have Sean for an appetizer, Pagong for her entree, and Just Peachy for dessert.
On the hike to Tagi, Kelly tells Jenna, "And, uh, Rich, Rich is a sweetheart. So easygoing." Yeah, he goes easy on you until he rips your heart out and uses it for bait. Kelly then feels compelled to add, "He's naked a lot," to which Jenna can only respond, "Um. Okay." Gretchen tells us that she's excited about the merger. She says, "There's not a lot of personalities goin' on," in the Pagong tribe and that she's excited to meet new people. Excited is not the word I'd use to describe moving into a tent with Sue.
Sean approaches Pagong like he's scouting out the resort's hot new singles bar. Colleen coos, "Oh, good, they sent the good-looking, available young doctor." Okay, she just says "doctor" but we know what she's thinking. Sean hugs each member of Pagong and says, "Nice to see you," as he orders up a Sex on the Beach and fields a team for beach volleyball.
At Tagi, Richard shows off the lobster he caught which the producers must have just thrown into the ocean. Meanwhile, at Pagong, Greg happily shows Sean their toilet with a "working lid and everything." Sean asks how often it is moved, a question which confuses me. As the producers attempt to manipulate us with a string of opposing shots from the two camps, we see Jenna ask if she may enter Rowdy Rudy's Diner and Talking Rudy Doll curmudgeons, "Wipe your feet!" because he's not Talking Rudy Doll if he's not being contrary, and that's why we love Talking Rudy Doll. Kelly then shows Jenna their trunk of supplies with toilet paper, candles, and spices; she's so proud you'd think they knit the toilet paper, hand-dipped the candles, and collected and dried the spices themselves instead of winning them in the very trunk in which they appear. Meanwhile, Greg and Sean are comparing "tents" and Sean's is bigger. And he has a nipple ring. Jenna says Tagi is "very very well organized, so much more than ours!" and if this her definition of "negotiation," I want to know how she defines "butt-kissing."
Sean gnaws at sugarcane with Greg and Gervase and says, "Not too bad. We got plenty of this too; we don't use too much of it. We have it, but we don't eat it. It's a lot of work for a little bit of sugar, it seems to me, you know?" And let's just say I was appointed ambassador to China or India or some other country with a rice-based diet. I probably wouldn't walk in and proclaim, "We got plenty of this, but we don't want it," as if I'm too good for it; insulting other peoples' ways of life isn't the best way to spread goodwill. Jenna says Tagi is like a "well-oiled machine" and is raving over a manta ray as the Tagi prepare for a "delicious meal"; we then see Greg choking down sour coconut milk and rejecting it. Sean shrugs and says, "I don't need any more," and both he and Greg have disgusted looks on their faces as they spit out whatever they're attempting to ingest. They look like three-year-olds who have been given fruit instead of cookies at snack time. Rich says of the manta ray that, "If you've have fried calamari, well we're having roasted," and in my experience roasted calamari tastes nothing like fried calamari (try comparing roasted onions to onion rings) so I don't see how roasted manta ray could taste just like fried calamari but whatever. Rich then raves about how sweet the lobster is as if he has something to do with it. He says in a confessional that the merge will set up a "whole 'nother set of interpersonal dynamics that'll be fun for me to watch!" which leads to Richard's asking Jenna if she's heard any rumors about Tagi. Don't tell Jenna your secrets because she responds, "That you guys are plotting an alliance against us, divide-and-conquer sort of thing. That's the big thing." Rich says, "Really," and tries to sound very amused by this. It sort of ruins the point of the game if cameramen and crew are tittering and gossiping to each camp about the other, but no more so, I guess, then when Just Peachy plays judge and jury. Sue then tells us they'll "slide into home plate" if they can make it through the first two votes "getting somebody off of their team off," and let the misappropriated sexual comments commence! Jenna and Richard agree that they want to get to know each other's teams, except Jenna believes the bullshit. In an alliance pow-wow, Richard says he thinks Jenna is sincere and Sue agrees, making for the first kind word she's said of anybody in nineteen days. Richard then butters Kelly up by saying, "Jenna is young, and not a mature young like you" and Kelly virtually titters with pride. Sue adds, "Yes, she's young and flaky," because she realizes she actually just complimented someone and wants to take it back. Jenna tells Richard that she wanted to come across as a "strong young mom 'cause I think they're often portrayed as victims of circumstances." We then cut over to the alliance where Rich is saying that if she wants to be proud for her children she should "show [your] girls what it's about and win!" Talking Rudy Doll grumpily tells us that six days ago he was totally against the alliance but, "I seen sic the light. If you wanna win this money you gotta get a little dirty." Richard asks the alliance if they know who's , and Sue says, "Who after Greg?" Kelly and Sue both suggest Jenna, but Richard says, "I was thinkin' Sean." Sue looks momentarily flummoxed and then says, "Oh yeah!" as if she was thinking it, but we know she wasn't, because her brain feeds of Richard's and can't function independently, and Kelly's brain feeds off Sue's and can't function independently, and they're all three like one giant nasty brain-sharing set of Siamese triplets. Richard says, "He's too much competition and he will not participate." Sue tells us in a confessional, "The reason Sean's not in an alliance is because Sean. Is. Dumb."
At Pagong, Gretchen asks Sean if Tagi is planning on banding together to pick off the Pagongers. Sean says, "I think they've changed their minds, you know, because I think they have a very nice warm touchy feelings towards you guys," and there's debate in the forums if Sean if being sarcastic here or if he's just exceedingly clueless because even if he's ignorant of the alliance, he can't possibly believe Sue is down with the touchy-feelies. Richard tells us in a confessional that Sean is ethically against an alliance and that Gretchen is similar on the other side. How he knows this, we are left to contemplate for the rest of our lives. He then says, "I don't get it, you know. I consider myself extremely ethical and moral and this has absolutely nothing to do with it. It sounds like sheer stupidity to me when somebody says, 'Oh no, I'm not gonna build an alliance and I hope they wouldn't do that either,' I, you know, I giggle and think, Okay. Cackle, cackle, cackle." Back at the pow-wow, Susan tells Richard, "God, I'm glad I'm on your team," and they do think he's God, don't they? They high-five each other while Kelly hovers in the background. These three have reminded me of something for a while and I've just figured it out: There's a movie called Hocus Pocus in which Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker play a trio of conniving witches. Bette Midler is the nastiest, most plotting witch, and of course she's the Richard of the group. Cathy Najimi is the character witch whose always scurrying after Bette, quite obviously Sue, and SJP is a ditzy young witch who just prances around, and that's Kelly -- my freeze frame is now paused with the three in a circle and Sue's hand is above her head and Kelly actually looks like SJP here and it looks like some sort of witchy circle coven ritual or maybe like that scene in Three Men and a Baby where the murdered boy or broomstick or cardboard cut-out of Ted Danson hovers in the background and now I've lost my train of thought. Kelly hugs Richard and is enveloped in his fleshiness as she says, "We didn't come here to make friends."
At Pagong, Gervase says that Sean seems like an honest guy with lots of stories to tell. He says that Sean hasn't had fun yet and that Pagong will "bring lots of fun his way. We'll keep him entertained." Which sounds like a threat to me. As Sean and Jenna separately head out for the "summit," someone pulls Talking Rudy Doll's string and he says, "Jenna and Sean are gonna have a good time talkin'. I dunno which one talks the most. She ain't shut up since she's been here."
The on-screen captioning reads, "Ambassadors Summit; One Mile Offshore; Sand Spit -- Day Nineteen," and this alone accomplishes the amazing feat of being just as silly as any words to ooze out of Just Peachy's mouth thus far. In the background, Italian music plays while we see shots of lobster, tiki torches, and a table set with lemons, wine, and some E. Peachy pulls out Jenna's chair for her as he says, "Welcome Jenna, a chair just for you; Welcome." As Sean arrives and hugs Jenna hello, Peachy reaches his all-time creepy factor when he says, "Wow, we're off to a good start. A little kiss. I like that," as he leers and drools into the melted butter. He then recites the foods they have in case they are unable to identify for themselves lobster, bread, baked potatoes, lemon, and wine. They have the whole night to deliberate, name the new tribe, paint a new flag, and identify three items to take from the abandoned camp. The new tribe's color will be green which is, of course, the natural merger of yellow and orange on a color wheel. He then points out two beds and the ambassadors react as if they hadn't noticed them before, even though they're only two feet away and difficult to miss what with the strewn rose petals, suspended mirrors, and leopard-print bedspreads. Sean says, "So we are definitely staying here tonight," and you can see the wheels ever so slowly turning in his mind. We see various shots of Sean and Jenna chowing down; and one particularly gross slow-motion shot of Sean stuffing a big piece of potato in his mouth. At some point, the music switches to Latin flava. Jenna tells us it was set up like a "romantic dinner" with a "bedside table" but that "there's not a spark there." We then see Sean laying out the sexual bases including the fine explanation that "second base is up the shirt." Jenna's claims she's never heard of the rounding-the-bases metaphor and that she only knew what the home run was and I thought this may have been a joke about having twins as an unmarried twenty-two-year-old, but I really don't see Jenna going there. Sean randomly says, "Sliding into home plate" and Jenna shuts him up even though she hasn't been terribly bashful so far, bragging about how "goal-oriented" she is. An under-the-table shot is contrived to make us think our ambassadors are playing footsies, but upon multiple rewinds and pauses, it doesn't appear that there's actually any contact. Sean says it was supposed to be more romantic than it was but that they "tied one on" anyway as we see them moving the beds inside. Jenna is concerned that Pagong will be worried about her, so Sean throws some kerosene on the fire as a shout-out. Pagong sees the fire and Greg looks very cute and concerned as to whether Jenna is being fed since there's only been "one lunch." Back on the sand spit, Jenna tells us that they've had four bottles of wine; as rain starts to come down, she joins Sean in the candle-lit tent with another bottle of wine and they must have edited out the part where these two have their stomachs pumped in the morning. As the scene ends, Sean says, "Wanna go to bed?" and I would be totally shocked if these too didn't play some island hide-and-seek if you get my sand drift and I know you do.
Close-up shots of crabs seem to indicate new mornings on this show, as opposed to the more standard cock's crow. Gretchen sounds irritated as she says, "We were just waiting 'cause no one's given us any information so, I mean, last night we were wondering where she was and then somebody said, 'Well she can't come back 'till the negotiations are over' but there's really nothing to negotiate. We coulda made a shelter in that time. We coulda made whatever they're negotiating for. We coulda moved our whole camp and done in that time so I don't know what the whole process is about." Gervase tells us, "We miss Jenna. We haven't seen Jenna at all since she's left. We were kinda worried about her last night when she still wasn't here." He misses her so much he voted for her last week? Because that makes sense. Greg sharpens or chops something and says, "I'd be wasting my time and energy to, uh, guess what's happening so I don't even bother. What's goin' on? It's a beautiful day. The sun's nice. You can see, uh, Mt. Kinabulu and, uh, we're gonna go fishin'." Pagong must have borrowed a cup of sour grapes from Tagi and Greg must've borrowed his speech pattern from Ramoaner.
At Tagi, Richard and Rudy inspect yet another ray which is, in Richard's words, "a good fatty" and "a lot of meat," images which could be used to describe both the manta ray and Richard. Richard tells us that he knows both parties agree on which camp to move to and so "[he] can't imagine what's goin' on in the sand spit," and it seemed like he knows about Jenna's Row of Shame, which is happening right about now.
Sean and Jenna arrive in a canoe at Pagong, where Jenna hugs Gretchen like they've been gone twenty-four months instead of twenty-four hours. Jenna starts ordering her team around: They have five minutes to pack, get their luxury items, and select three items to bring, which turn out to be the wool blanket, mosquito netting, and cooking pot. Jenna says she named the new tribe "Rattan" after the plentiful island wood and Idiot Seanvant proudly adds, "We just added an 'A' to make it sound a little more exotic. That was my idea, you know, give it a little flair, a little pizzazz." The ambassadors wisely start bragging in chorus about the feast they had. Jenna says "four bottles of wine," and in the background we hear Sean saying, "Four bottles of wine. Four bottles of wine," as if he's just beginning to believe it himself. Cranky Greg walks away from the group and then tells us, "You know, they come back having had a great night and 'Oh My God! I can't wait to tell you guys how much we've eaten.' And that's wonderful, that's how ambassadors should be treated. But you know, of course when you're on an island surviving on white rice and fish...." I think Greg's cocophone may need a recharge because this doesn't exactly seem like he's "in touch with the greater spirit." Idiot Seanvant then recites the morning's breakfast in a wide-eyed dunce manner, "Four croissants with orange marmalade and strawberry jam. Coffee. Four bottles!" You should see him count toothpicks. We then cut over to a very irritated Greg saying, "Hey! Tell me a little bit more about it. I'd love to hear about butter sauce. Thanks!" Colleen and Gervase both tell us they wanted to leave camp anyway. We then get sappy music and a newly sunburnt Gretchen in a totally different outfit than she's wearing in the move scene, and she's choking up and this seems very out of place. Like it was filmed, I don't know, maybe, after a Tribal Council or something. She tells us she first thought she would have been happier on Tagi's team, but adds, "I think it was good for me to be with this tribe because, um, you don't have to work all the time and you don't have to be busting butt. It's nice to...you know, we're healthy and we're happy and we spend a lot of time having fun. So I think it taught me something, too. You can be very comfortable and I don't feel like I have to bust butt all the time and I've had a good time while I'm here so I'm glad, you know, I'm glad to go with the other tribe and I was glad to be with this tribe." To go along with this, we see lots of shots of Gretchen looking happy and bonding with the team. As Pagong sets out on their raft towards Tagi's beach, I wonder why they don't just walk. Greg says "it's like starting over" and they left "a lot of baggage" on that Pagong beach and he's not kidding; their shit is all over the place -- it's like the path to Everest only there are no sherpas to clean up after them. Greg, who does not even appear to be rowing, half-heartedly urges, "Come on left side. Come on left side."
Rich smugly tells us that Pagong is moving in and that he "was glad to see that." Tagi helps Pagong unpack and Richard hugs Sean and says, "Handsome" as he sticks the knife in his back. Rich gives Greg a tour and imperiously points out "house. Living room. Kitchen. Bathroom." In a confessional, Greg says, "A boy named Sue. Strong. Loud. With an accent that'll drive you up the wall," and then he does more of Fran Drescher than a Frances McDormand, but we get his point. Jenna tells us that Rudy is set in his ways and then Talking Rudy Doll spurts out, "All of a sudden we doubled our population. The house got smaller. The pots got smaller. And, uh, personally it's a pain in the ass." Kelly tells us it's almost too good: "Everyone's being real real super-polite," and I guess she considers singing back-up in Richard and the Doo Wops an exercise in good manners. Colleen tells us that Sean is very intelligent and that "he's always going." We then randomly see Sean complaining to Colleen about "unambitious, good-looking guys who have absolutely no personality that still get a lot of girls," so I'm guessing he thinks he falls into the category of ambitious, bad-looking men who get no girls? Rudy has his head in his hands as he listens to this babble. Greg tells us, "Rich is clever and, uh, I mean we'll start being honest now. I think Rich thinks he's very clever. He is relatively sharp and, uh, he has a lot of things going on in his mind that he, uh, selectively decides, uh, what he will share and with whom. Rich is playing a big game, which is very fun, so he's awfully entertaining," and I love it when the castaways pretend they're outside psychological observers instead of willing participants in this mess. As the women join together to "beef up" the shelter's supports, Kelly says, "Bam! Shingles break. The whole room comes crashing down. Felt like such an idiot." Sue says, "Yeah! It's the same as it is back home, ladies, here in the jungle. The women are doing all the work and the guys are just hangin' out and B.S.-ing ya." Gervase teaches a card game to Richard, who lounges like he's a Roman emperor expecting Gervase to start dropping grapes into his mouth. There's some weird flirty exchange in which they mutually eye a conch of some sort and Rich says, "Isn't that beautiful. Don't lie. It looks like mucous, doesn't it?" Colleen tells us that men and women relate differently: Women compete while men can "sit down and talk for hours and walk away friends." Debatability of this statement aside, had Gervase made this comment last week, Joel would have just been crucified for it. Richard tells us that, "Gervase was great. I beat the hell out of him in a number of games that I've never played before. And he's, uh, he's good at cards. I think he could have been letting me win. Who knows? He could be playing the odds too." Gervase the Almighty Horn-Tooter tells us he's a "charmer" and a "smooth talker" and we then cut to a scene where he says, "Lookin' real good, Richard, really good." Richard says, "Can you tell I'm losin?" and looks down at his rolls. When Gervase agrees, he says, "Makes me happy. 'Cause I can't tell." Greg then shows up at camp with a sea urchin, which makes Rich happy because they're "great for bait but the insides is [sic ] just nothing but guts." With Richard, the outsides are nothing but gut. He then tells us that Greg's failure makes Richard stronger and that Greg is "pretty cocky," and, well, isn't that just the pot calling the kettle cocky.
Around the Rattana campfire, Jenna mumbles something like, "Less than one hundred feet away and I've got this girl laid out and like across the back seat and something something and it was like incredible." Idiot Seanvant is frothing at the mouth so I think it's sex talk. Kelly is really happy to find out that Gretchen nearly killed herself when she was fourteen by drinking a fifth of whiskey in two minutes. Greg manically tells us it's like a banquet and maybe they're smoking that rattan instead of building furniture with it. Sean tells the group that he left a two-on-one opportunity because he was "scared out of [his] mind." As Talking Rudy Doll stomps off, pull the string and he says, "Blah! Some of the stuff they talk about don't interest me and I don't wanna hear it. I dunno. They talk about a lot of sex stuff." Inside the rained-in tent while the new tribe sleeps, Talking Rudy Doll mumbles, "Everybody's hands all over me," and Gretchen says, "Damn, Rudy!" and then it's morning. Gretchen is frustrated because it rained and they just came from a decent shelter and now they're in a new place. As he scratches his back with the knife, Talking Rudy Doll says, "I was in there last night and, uh, when the rain came all them women seized down my way and I had about five women in my lap all of a sudden." Colleen and Jenna both say they got kicked in the head by Talking Rudy Doll. Gretchen tells us that Talking Rudy Doll said, "Well, this is my space," when she told him he kicked her in the head. Talking Rudy Doll keeps on coming with the zingers: "Hey! I'm the old guy,
don't forget. The young guys might've liked it. But it's a pain in the ass to me."Gretchen find a clue in a bottle and reads aloud, "Just take a deep breath and don't come up for air," and follows with the rest of the poem, but the first part is all that matters. Richard exercises his considerable brain power by concluding, "I'm guessin' it's a holding-your-breath competition."
At Snake Island, the Rattana tribe is lined up on a dock like they're chillin' at the MTV Beach House. Peachy introduces an "immunity talisman," which means no votes can be cast against its wearer. In the first round of this week's challenge, the S10 hold their breath underwater, and the last three to surface move on to the round. They all giggle and laugh when they get in the water, because swimming is really funny when you live on an island. Peachy begins the contest and I immediately know Jenna's a goner because she's holding her nose. There's a bar under water to help keep them submerged and most of them have their arms roped through the bar and crossed over their chests. Idiot Seanvant looks around and tries to find something to count. Kelly comes up first, then Jenna, then Colleen, then Sue, then Gretchen. They all start giggling and laughing because holding one's breath is comic gold. Rudy takes off his goggles, looks around to make sure all the women are gone, and surfaces. The four remaining just look around at each other and Richard nonchalantly examines his fingernails and then floats to the surface. Sean makes eye contact with Gervase and gives him a big encouraging grin. He then grabs Greg's hand, points at himself, and motions upward as he releases the bar. Greg realizes there's only two of them left and that three win, motions like, "whatever, dude" and emerges. Gervase hams it up, counting legs of the surfaced survivors, and finally comes up, ecstatic. I think he forgot about the second part of the challenge since there was little reason for him to exert further energy by staying under for so long. Just Peachy tells us that the final round is also about holding your breath, but "adding speed." At the bottom of the ocean floor are horizontal ladders with buoys attached; the three finalists crawl along the ladder, yanking off the buoys, and the first one to the end wins. Gervase appears to have learned to swim by now, but he still clings to his buoy at the starting point which makes for fairly comic effect since putting pressure on something buoyant that floats just makes it bob even more so he's floating and bobbing all over the place. As the contest starts, Gervase can't even submerge himself and rises to the surface, and that's it for him. Sean and Greg crawl along the ladders neck and neck, both looking like sleek panthers or something. Greg barely beats Sean, who handles the defeat gracefully. Greg puts on the necklace and preens.
Back from the commercial, we go straight to Tribal Council. Richard tells us in a confessional, "But even though we aren't any longer two different teams, I still have a team. It's gonna be interesting because we're not solid. We're solid with one another but we are not solidly unbeatable yet just by circumstance, because there are only four of us and there are still ten people left on the island." Thanks for the math lesson. Kelly tells us in a confessional which suggests she actually may possess free will, "When you get in that Tribal Council and you walk up and see that little piece of paper and the thing that you put the vote in, it's all different, you know. You might -- you might have a thought and say, 'Hey! I really don't want to vote this person off.' It's easier said than done. An alliance is easier said than done." Greg tells us, "If people are fear- and self-preservation motivated, they'll band together, they'll form alliances, they'll start beating people out to try and get rid of the strong ones and get rid of this and get rid of that. And, uh, you know if that happens I hope they vote me off really soon because, uh that to me is, uh -- Whoa! Cool flying fish! -- that, to me, is really boring." Greg actually showed enthusiasm for the natural island life which is something we've yet to see from the other survivors, who could be playing this game in my parent's back yard and having the exact same experience. Jenna tells us she wants to vote based on merit and not on, "Let's get rid of each of them first and then come back to our tribe."
Peachy tells us the merger "doesn't change the rules, doesn't change anything here," in another fine George Bush imitation. Persistent Peachy tries once again to call out Richard on the alliances by asking how the "group dynamics" have changed. Richard dodges the question by saying that he hasn't noticed a change and that they get along "really really really well." Gretchen says that strategies will shift and that it's now important to get rid of the strongest people because they're competition, at which point a giant blinking neon arrow appears over her head. Idiot Seanvant says everyone was concerned that the merger would become a "Tagi vs. Pagong bloodbath" and he very earnestly says he doesn't think that will happen.
And on to the vote! Greg votes for Jenna and says, "Either be here or be gone" like he's Timothy Leary or something. Gretchen tells us she's voting for Rudy because "he's probably the person [she] respect[s] most in the tribe, but the person [she] least [wants to] play the game with." Colleen votes for Rich because he's "over-confident" as we then pan to a shot of a very smug and self-satisfied Richard. Jenna votes for "Gervis" and moos. So the girl likes to moo. Sean votes and says, "I am not really employing any strategy. I'm voting for Colleen today. I love her. She's cute, adorable, and nice to look at and fun to have around. But she's the first in a long list of alphabetical order and, uh, she won't get another vote for me unless she pisses me off or something. But it's her turn today, being the first, alphabetical order," and sort of points at the camera, in case we missed it. Poor little Idiot Seanvant -- he can't help it if he likes doing things alphabetically.
Jeff comes back with the conveniently suspenseful tally. The first vote is for Jenna and the second vote is for Richard, who as a bastion of discretion, laughs, looks around, and winks at someone. The third vote is Gretchen, followed by a vote for Rudy and then one for Sue. Above Sue's name, Greg's name is crossed out with an "Oops." I wonder which charming castaway has such wit and personality as to contrive to splendid a joke. Colleen and Gervase get the two votes and Jenna whispers, "Everybody got nailed," but I thought only she got nailed last night on the sand spit with Idiot Seanvant. Peachy reads two more votes for Gretchen who looks distraught and exclaims, "Oh my God! Oh my God! That's me!" Peachy reads the final vote for Gretchen and all the castaways looks completely shocked and Sean looks like he might cry. Gretchen hugs Colleen and Greg looks away. None of the alliance look at her. As Gretchen brings her torch to Just Peachy, she suddenly goes all ghetto and does sort of wazzup gestures and peace-outs and wags her tongue and moonwalks off the set. Without the moonwalking. The S10 cheer, which is supposed to be supportive but seems rather callous to me. Rudy watches her, then looks away; he seems remorseful. Just Peachy rolls his eyes and says, "Well, if tonight's vote is any indication, the stakes have definitely been raised." Even Peachy gets no joy from this!
week on Survivor: Greg talks about breaking Colleen's neck, causing the producers to remove him from the island because such threats to bodily harm are not permitted. Tagi plots. Jenna misses her "beauties."
As the credits roll, Gretchen tells us she hopes she was voted off because they thought she was a threat and not because they just didn't like her. Of course, since we never saw the plotting, in a lame effort on the producers' part to maintain suspense, she'll go to her grave wondering. And so will we.