Survivor TV Show - Pulling Your Own Weight - Survivor Recaps, Survivor Reviews, Survivor Episodes | TWoP

Recapped by Joanna · Aired 2000-06-28

By Joanna

Last week on Survivor: Gervase revealed that he runs as well as he swims. Richard got sneaky at Tagi, Sue jumped on board his alliance and Kelly came sniveling after. Ramoaner quit her moaning. For good.

At Pagong Day Thirteen, Colleen tells us that the tribe slept late for the first time, and that "everybody's a little bit on edge; everybody's a little vulnerable today." Not as vulnerable as Ramoaner was last night, but whatever. Joel tells us that they're feeling down because they lost another person: "The group's getting a little bit smaller, even if it's only two people smaller, it's still getting a little bit smaller." So, let me get this straight: If you subtract one person, the group gets smaller? I think I get it now. We see various shots of dejected-looking Pagongs. Jenna sprawls across a rock for her confessional. It doesn't look like a comfortable position, or one from which I'd choose to address the world, but if you want to win that Playboy centerfold, you gotta do what you gotta do. She thinks the team is down because Greg, a "male leader," has been sick. We then see Greg feeling bad for himself and looking peculiarly ruddy. The Blair Rat has made another appearance at Pagong, and has strewn the team's clothing across the treetops and around the camp. Oh wait, they just haven't been cleaning up after themselves. The state of their morale is signified by their team flag, which lies trampled, shredded, smoldering, and shat upon in the sand. According to Gretchen, the place looks "trashy." She should see Jenna's confessional.

At Tagi, the flag flies high, as does the team. Sue, Kelly, Richard and Rudy make a tent out of the parachute from last week's Target challenge. Rudy says "goodies," which makes me giggle. While the others toil, we see shots of Sean and Dirk just sitting around; they look like they're picking food out of their teeth with their tongues. There really should be unlimited floss here. I took one of those surveys a while back that calculates your real age by accounting for such factors as where you live, whether you smoke, your family's health history, etc. You add and subtract points for each good or bad thing. And daily flossing added like seven years to your life. So start flossing. Kelly says, "Me personally, I was a little irritated with, uh, Dirk and Sean's effort around camp. I mean, they try to go out fishing while they know they're not gonna catch anything, and I think personally it's just so they can say, 'Hey, well, we did something.'" Meanwhile, she serves her team well by doing needlepoint.

By Joanna

On the raft, Dirk says to Sean, "Right now, we could be working, driving through rush-hour traffic, fighting bills, trying to get dates. Instead we're just chilling on the South China Sea." I wonder how much "rush-hour traffic" Dirk sees on his way to and from the dairy farm. Sue is irritated and drawls that Sean and Dirk should be out looking for "ta-pee-yó-ka" and nuts during the day, and fishing at night. She tells them that fishing during the day is a waste of time, and Dirk says that he doesn't think it's a waste at all. Sue says, "Whoa, well, did you catch anything?" and Dirk responds, "No, ma'am." Sue decrees, "Okay...it was a waste of time then," which is a fairly logical statement. Sean tells us in a confessional, "It's expected to get on each other's nerves. Maybe everyone's on my nerves, but I don't really act on it. I just wanna be happy, have a nice time here, that's it." Sean may be a moron, but he's a good-natured one. Dirk appears to have been out herding sheep with a crook in-hand, and says, "The second I stop having fun, I'll vote myself off the island. I came here to have a great time, to grow in my faith with the Lord. And that's the most important thing to me." Rudy chimes in with, "It's funny, to me, that a guy would read the Bible out here. The only reason I'd bring a Bible is if -- I mean, I'm religious too -- if I need toilet paper." Now Rudy's got the religious right AND the gay and lesbian community in his back pocket. There's no stoppin' him. We finally see that Kelly is stitching "Rudy" into a piece of burlap; maybe she thinks that if she uses it to vote at the Tribal Council, she'll make a stronger impression and score points for creativity.

Just Peachy shows up at Tagi and they all cringe and go, "How'd he find our camp?" Well, that's what they're thinking. Peachy says, "I brought news of tomorrow's challenge." Using some kind of gun as a pointer, he adds, "Right here. The First Annual Weapons Target Shooting Classic; the Battle in Borneo." Peachy insists on reading this aloud and enunciating, like he thinks he's Ramoaner or something. Rudy sneers at a cameraman. Just Peachy tells Tagi that they are competing for food in a Reward Challenge, which consists of a blowgun round with five darts, a "mighty slingshot" round, and a spear-tossing event. He then explains that the teams will pick only one person to compete in each event. Peachy leaves and Rudy aims the blowgun at the back of his head.

By Joanna

The team sets up wooden-basket-like cages that look kind of like bongo drums, and place coconuts on top for target practice. Sean tells us, "It turns out that I'm pretty good with the blowgun, and I never really shot a blowgun before in my life!" We see various shots of darts hitting the coconuts, and we're led to believe they're all Sean's, but we have no way of being sure of that, due to the "creative editing" on this show. Sean then tells us, "It turns out Rich is an expert marksman, something we didn't know about him until today." That Dick is just full of surprises! We see shots of Richard shooting at the coconuts; he says, "No worries," and Sue adds, "Yea. I think he's Slingshot Boy." Sean then tells us that Sue is a "wild-woman with the spear," but we all know that Sue doesn't need a spear to be a wild-woman. Sue says she always wanted to kill a pig with a javelin or a spear, forcing me to wonder how she passed the extensive psychological testing all the contestants had to go through. Or maybe comments like that helped her earn a place on the show. Sue tells us that she hopes that the other team picks a guy because "there's a good chance that [I] can dog some guy on national T.V.," and she goes on to add, "Even if we lost, and [I] at least dogged a guy in the spear-throwing, they'd be happy." I become even more fascinated by Susan's husband. She throws the spear with her opposite arm extended in front of her for balance; she looks like a cave-woman might have in a two-piece Speedo.

At Pagong, Gervase does some WWF-style announcement as Joel prepares to throw the spear, which sails right over the top of the coconut cage. Joel appears to be the only one trying at the spear-throw, and not, apparently, very hard. We see lots of shots of Joel missing the target. I think we're being set up here to believe that Tagi will win. Do you think Tagi will win?

Product-placed feet walk to the challenge area, and we see random shots of a watermelon, a pineapple, and some other fruit I can't identify, all placed on stumps. Other small fruits are stuck on a screen, with a background like that carnival game where balloons with different prizes are displayed and you throw a dart and get the prize inside the balloon you hit. The cameramen appear to really enjoy the fruit shots. Peachy welcomes the tribes and everyone claps, but Rudy refuses to do so until the director yells, "Cut!" and makes him. Rudy joins in, but it's obvious he hates every minute of it, and you can be sure that no one ever made him clap in the Navy. He also looks really short standing between Dirk and Peachy.

By Joanna

The blowgun competition is first. Each competitor gets ten shots; every fruit they hit goes into a basket, which carries over to the round. We see lots of darts hitting fruit, but there's really no way to tell which team is doing better, and at the end of the event it looks like all the fruit is going into one basket anyway. comes the slingshot competition, the results of which are equally irritating. Gretchen and Richard get two minutes to knock fruit off, break a vase on which the fruit is placed, or embed a rock in the fruit. Again, it's impossible to tell who is hitting what, nor does it appear to matter.

In Round Three, Peachy announces, "This is where it gets very interesting," but he really means this is where it all gets pointless. The final round determines who gets ALL the fruit and a "very special food source, a mystery food source," which is hidden in a crate. On his second try, Joel scores a bulls-eye. Pagong celebrates and Jenna yells, "We want fruit!" Maybe for the Playboy spread they'll do a cheerleader theme, because this island thing has clearly been done. Sue wiggles her ass as she sets up to throw her last shot, which is a good effort, but fails to beat Joel's bulls-eye. Pagong collects all the fruit and "the very special mystery food prize," while shouting out things like "It's apples!" and "It's Snickers bars!" but it's really three live chickens. As they walk back to camp, Gretchen carries one chicken and Jenna cuddles and snuggles with another, but we know how loyal she is after Ramoaner's exile. Gervase asks if they're going to name the chickens, and Jenna says, "Yes: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner."

At Pagong, Jenna is back in Playboy repose. She says returning with three live chickens was "absolutely wonderful." But a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken would have been a much better prize. Gretchen says they're waiting for the chickens to lay eggs, but "they have a very short time to produce before they're slaughtered." Jenna says they're gonna make "chicken fried rice," and Colleen says, "That's gross," even though she just suggested making a "big omelet." Pagong parties with the big basket of obviously vodka-soaked fruit; they're all spitting seeds at each other and laughing their heads off about it. Joel puts the flag up, and I wonder which cameraman suggested that. Meanwhile, the chickens are begging to be put out of the misery that is Camp Pagong, where everyone is nice to their faces and dreaming about frying them up behind their backs.

By Joanna

At Tagi, Sue said tells us she's irritated: "Here's a dream come true. I can stomp a guy on national television and I missed by two inches." She then adds that she laughed when they pulled out the chickens, and goes on, "Cutting off a chicken's head. No, it's not what I would want to do." So Susan doesn't want to kill a chicken, but she's always fantasized about spearing a pig? And her life's dream consists of "stomp[ing]" men? I'm glad I'm a woman and writing the recap; otherwise she might track me down and "dog" me. Richard gleefully sneers, "So, that was all right. The other team won some live chickens! With some eggs! So, we came back here and I went spear-fishin' and got us a nice eel. That was the first eel. And if I had seen others I'd have gotten others," which I thought was a very random comment. Richard emerges from the water with an eel that looks like a snake, and that is, according to him, "all beautiful meat. The whole thing." Kelly says, "Wooooowwwww." Rudy just looks perplexed. Rich says, "Isn't that pretty?" and Kelly agrees, which is what she does best. She then says, "It beats the hell out of chicken," through a big ole mouthful of sour grapes. In a confessional she tells us, "I'd rather eat eel than chicken. I mean, at least we eat stuff that we go out and catch and look for ourselves, and we don't have it handed to us." I must have missed the part last week where Tagi turned down the Target prize so they could hunt their own towels, toilet paper, and spice rack. A gong clangs, and we see that the eel is being cooked, while flies buzz around and various members of the tribe look horrified. Richard advises, "It's cartilaginous. So chew on it." The eel appears to taste worse than the Butok, but it looks kind of like ribs. Sean says in a confessional, "Dinner was pretty horrible. Uh, it wasn't any good. Whatsoever." Kelly tells us, "We thought it was gonna be, you know, big fat steaks of meat. But it really wasn't," which might explain why people eat steak and not eel. Rudy maintains his usual positive attitude, "I wouldn't go after eel again if I had a choice. I woulda rather had chicken, without a doubt."

Greg gathers brush, which Pagong appears to require a lot of. Gretchen tells us, "My feelings on who the leader is has always been Greg. He's just really good at it." Greg claims that although he may be slipping into a leadership role, he'd rather "play by [him]self" and "try and recharge [his] battery." I thought Colleen recharged Greg's battery. Gretchen says he's "really good at living in the woods too," and either she's got a little crush on Greg, or he reminds her of one of her sons. Greg tells us that his "psychological comfort" does not come from sleeping with the others, and makes a unique point when he says, "It's a lot of energy in a very small space while I'm, uh, trying to clear my head of energy." He makes a "sleeping bag" out of debris and says, "It's all a nesting instinct. As with everything, make yourself a nest. I nest like a mama-bird, papa-bird, more like a papa-bird then a mama-bird. A single, like a bachelor-bird, I guess." This needs to be read aloud for full effect. He then says that Colleen has joined him in the woods. Gervase takes over Ramoaner's role as camp gossip, and tells us that Colleen and Greg go off together, sometimes until morning. We see night shots of them walking around and giggling, like they're stumbling home together from a frat party. Jenna tells us in a confessional that "there's a little romance goin' on." Colleen says in her ambiguous accent, "Uh, when we go off, it's all about sex. That's all that's happening. Uh. It's a really passionate affair right now. Things are going great." And then she giggles, sighs and looks away. There's been some debate in the forums about whether Colleen was kidding, but she seems pretty serious to me. We then see a night-vision shot of Colleen and Greg, and it looks like they're kissing, but she may just be whispering in his ear. Sitting up in a tree like Richard was the first week, Greg tells us, "The question was asked before whether this was a romantic situation or not, and I will reaffirm that there is no romance." We see him carrying her bag for her in an edited shot. He then says they "like to play together," but not in a "romantic situation." I'm thinking Colleen wouldn't be too happy to hear him say that. I'm so sure they're playing Gin Rummy with Gervase's deck of cards. As this segment closes, we get a Club Med shot of Colleen and Greg strolling down the beach, arm in arm.

By Joanna

At Tagi, Richard is playing with a "yellow-banded sea crepe," or something like that. It's a snake. He says, "I'm hopin' he goes for a swim. I might help him," and then flicks the snake off the tree with his finger and comments, "He's awake now." Richard feels justified teasing this snake because he played with garter snakes when he was a kid. We had garter snakes in my first grade classroom; I don't think they present much of a danger. Richard then explains that he "doesn't want to be bitten by something deadly." I propose that the best way to prevent such an accident would be to avoid taunting deadly things. Richard says, "I wanna put him in the water 'cause I wanna watch him swim," and then grabs it by the tail and hurls it into the water; it comes swimming right back up to him and snaps at one of the cameras. Richard then says, "We've been told that they're extremely deadly. Immediately deadly. Within six hours deadly." He then slaps his ankle with the snake slithering a foot away and says, "Horseflies bother me more." I suspect that we're supposed to think Richard's so Zen about this, when we all know he'll be squealing like a pig if the snake really comes at him.

By Joanna

Sean tells us far more than we want to know when he says he had a bowel movement for the first time in two weeks. "This morning, I had my first bowel movement. Felt fantastic!" He high-fives Kelly and exclaims, "I am now one of the bowel movers." The Bowel Movers sounds like a title for a Stephen King novel. Sean ambles down the beach, all rolled-pants and nipple-ring and backwards-baseball-cap. He tells us he's not bloated or anything, which I'm so glad to know. He then says, "It's a way to start the day off, with a little bit of a bowel movement. Nice work Sean. Go, New York, Go!" We then see various shots of Dirk looking emaciated, and Sean then tells us they're concerned about Dirk's weight loss. Dirk says, "I definitely lost lots of mass, a lot of muscle mass, a lot of strength. It's not gonna help me, but as long as I conserve my energy, don't waste it on a lot of things that we don't need, as long as I'm smart about it, I think I'll be okay." I think Dirk is incapable of being "smart" about anything, and besides, this just sounds like a big fat excuse to get out of work. Susan tells Dirk, "You [sic] lookin' like hell. You look like a Nazi-War-camp prisoner, dude." She then tells him his arm is as big as hers, and he says, "It was before." Hey, man, don't harsh on the size of a woman's arm; sometimes it's just hereditary and she can't help it, okay? Kelly tells us the labor thing is better, and Sue agrees, but borrows words from Jenna to say that it's a "little too late," as we see Dirk and Sean going on a tapioca hunt. Dirk says, "Maybe I am on thin ice with this team now, I don't know. I feel like I'm pulling my weight, and I think the group sees that. I'm just gonna find tapioca and I'm just gonna let it work itself out." Richard and Sue talk about their alliance, and they're bothered by the fact that Sean criticized such pairings and said it's "do unto others." Richard says, "I was just thinkin', 'Boy, Sean, it's time for you to go.'" Susan nods her head in her evil sunglasses. As Dirk and Sean forage through the woods, Dirk shouts out, "I can't find any tapioca, man! I don't know where it is!" Maybe Dirk's been hogging the wild mushrooms out here, or else he's just high on God. They find a hermit crab, and Sean says they make them big here in the jungle. Dirk makes no sense when he responds, "What about the tapioca, they make any tapioca big in this jungle?" But then he makes perfect sense when he says, "I'm suckin' at this jungle thing." Sean finds a crop of tapioca, only one of which is good; the rest are "mushy." I don't know how he knows good tapioca from bad tapioca. They report back to Sue, who says, "So that's it for the tapioca, then," as if it's their fault. Then Sue just turns back to what is perhaps the team's greatest cause: sunbathing. Dirk says maybe he and Sean aren't a good team and Sean replies, "But we're a fun team." Aw.

By Joanna

At Tagi Day Sixteen, we are spared Peachy's treemail explanation as Dirk discovers an Immunity Challenge. The terrible poem mentions something about one rower and the rest swimmers. Tagi feels they have the edge, since Gervase can't swim, and that it's Kelly's "time to shine," because she's a commercial whitewater rafter. She says, "I know Gervase can't swim, so my guess is that they're gonna put him in the boat rowing, which is cool for me, because I could beat him any day of the week." Except Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

At Pagong, oh Lordy, we have to hear the poem twice! Jenna kindly says it may be a disadvantage that Gervase can't swim, but that "we all are gonna have our differences, not all of us are gonna be strong at everything." But not all of you are gonna suck at swimming, running, and bug-eating either. Greg has something frilly tied around his neck. The team decides that Gervase will row and he tells us, "Comfort level with swimming is about eighty percent. I mean, I've heard you're more buoyant and you don't sink as though [sic] the salt water. I don't know that though. To me, I'll sink like I was in a pool." Greg suddenly launches into song. He's singing and dancing and marching around the camp in his little skirt and tank top. The song is from West Side Story, but it looks like he thinks he auditioning for La Cage Aux Folles, or more likely, the houseboy role in The Bird Cage. But I did get a chuckle. He then yells, "I can't wait!" and goes running off toward the water.

By Joanna

Just Peachy tells us that the day's Immunity Challenge is called "Shipwrecked," and new techno music plays to prove how important the task at hand is. Peachy explains that "five members from each tribe are stranded on items of floating debris, simulating a sunken-ship disaster," and that the "remaining two castaways must rescue the members of their own tribe by using outrigger canoes." We get various shots of floating tribe members, including one of Rudy hanging onto a big crate as his sneakered foot pops up at a cameraman. Peachy sits down with Kelly and Gervase and re-explains the race, in case they slept through it the first time. Once they pick up a team member, the additional castaway can start rowing. There's also a "bailer," and Just Peachy says they'll surely "take on water" on a day like this. How The Perfect Storm of them. This begins Peachy's favorite portion of the show, the touchy-feely part, as he asks Kelly how she was chosen to row. She throws one arm up in the air, tucks it behind her head, ducks her head all nonchalant, and says, "Well, I'm a water all-star; this is my element right here, so there was no choice." I had no idea such crap would spring forth from her mouth; I think she might have surprised herself. She sounds like Danny Zuko trying to impress Sandy in Grease. Peachy then turns to Gervase and says, all garbage-mouthed, "You, on the other hand: Water is, as we talked about [sic], this is a whole new thing for you. Are you rowing because you'd rather row than swim?" Gervase responds, "Yes, I think that's what they we [sic] were thinking at first, but I knew it would be kind of tricky, and it's showtime, so I like the spotlight." Peachy then reinforces that "they're doing nothing out there" and "it's all on the boat."

Kelly's already lost the race before her boat hits the water; it's very difficult for her to get launched, and once she hits the water she goes nowhere fast. At one point she's literally rowing in place. Gervase is way ahead, and first picks up Joel. He's got Greg, too, before Kelly's even got Sue, her first teammate. I don't know who determined in what order the castaways would be placed, but it's kind of important. Once Gervase picks up his teammates, he decides he's done his duty, laces his fingers behind his head, puts his feet up, and just kicks back. Pagong's whole boat is full before Kelly gets Dirk, the third Tagi, in. Pagong drags their boat to shore and starts jumping around, celebrating their victory. Kelly looks distraught and Richard eyes her weirdly. Peachy jumps in on the Pagong fun and says, "Gervase's last words were, 'I like the spotlight, bring it on,'" at which point Gervase throws himself down on the ground as he did after the running race, except this time he actually accomplished something. Kelly pouts over on a log and says, "I get beat by a guy who can't even swim." Sue tries to comfort her but Kelly's busy beating herself up with, "Yea. Go Kelly. I can't believe this." Gervase grabs the idol and says, "Welcome back home, immunity idol," although he's looking directly at Greg when he says this.

By Joanna

At Pagong, we see that Kelly has completed a "Rowdy Rudy's Diner" banner. She tells us she was the "best choice to put in that boat" and says in a wacky voice that covers eight octaves, "You know, like I said, sometimes your best just isn't goooooood enough and liiiiiife just wouldn't be liiiiiife if everybody didn't get their little embarrassments from time to time, so..." She tells Sean, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and he says he tells himself that every day, which was a nice thing to do, considering he hasn't totally failed at a challenge yet. Sean then says he thinks Rudy will be the to go, as we see a shot of Rudy shouldering up his pack. Richard blabs on about his alliance.

Tagi hikes through the jungle to where Peachy is sitting on the money trunk, thinking, "Yea, my ass is on your money!" and, "Dog this, Sue!" He says, "What's the say, Tribal Council? Tough situation." He calls on Kelly and she says, "Coulda shoulda woulda a lot of things. You know I said some things at the beach, whatever, not making excuses, not trying to, not going to...Ate a little crow, it's all right, doesn't mean I have to like it." I think she's preparing to relieve Dana Carvey of his George Bush impersonation role. Sean says his position is "nebulous." Peachy asks Dirk if he questions how effectively he fits into the group. Objection! Leading the witness! Is Peachy auditioning for The Practice? Dirk says, "I can't think myself into being more effective, you know, I'm working hard on catching fish and I've been completely unsuccessful. I'm working hard at, you know, hunting tapioca and I've been, you know, completely unsuccessful. I've been working hard, you know; I've failed at everything I've tried, but it's not like the effort's not there, you know what I'm saying?" Way to sell yourself, Dirk. I suddenly realize that every member of Tagi, except perhaps for Richard, has a speech impediment. Peachy then calls Richard out on his alliances, and Richard dodges the question by acting like Peachy is talking about the friendships between him and Rudy, Sue and Kelly, and Dirk and Sean. Dick's a smooth operator, and starts rambling about the alliance of the greater group as a whole. Peachy exclaims, "Foiled again!" and adds that it's time for the vote, because he can't wait to try again at convincingly emoting sadness after he kicks someone off.

By Joanna

Dirk goes first. He votes for Sue and says, "I love you, but I just can't stand the complainin'." Sean votes for Rudy and says, "For the first time I'm voting for Rudy, only because this is probably an athletic competition coming up that we're gonna have to win, and that's the only reason I would cast a vote against him. He's a phenomenal person." Sean's earnest, or perhaps he's too dumb to be deceitful; either way, he's so sad he looks like he might cry. I'd cry too if my one source of amusement was getting the boot. Kelly votes for Dirk, and that's all we'll see before Peachy merrily heads off to count the votes. Dirk and Rudy look nervous and Sean appears incredibly alert. The votes read as follows: one for Dirk; one for Sue, who grins and sneakily looks sideways at Richard; one for Rudy; and another for Dirk. At this point, Peachy explains that there have been two votes for Dirk, in case we can't count that high. The third vote is for Dirk, and he's grinning and nodding his head, so either he doesn't realize that three sends him off, or else he thinks he's winning some kind of contest. Sean looks sad, and Dirk looks happy, confused and basically like an idiot as he gets snuffed. He sends a peace-out to his teammates and a "Good luck," then heads off to meet his maker.

week on Survivor: Richard goes all nude all the time, and Tagi wins both challenges, because the Pagong team's eyes spontaneously start to bleed.

As the credits roll, Dirk thanks the Lord for this "unbelievable blessing" and "wild trip." He believe he "kicked it" as hard as he could. And now he can come down from his tapioca-induced high, and return home to his Vanilla Ice tape collection.