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Sam finds a really, really old computer at the heart of the Lair O' Letters, and it's full of vacuum tubes and hamster wheels, or whatever the hell made those things run back in the day. Thinking that the computer will be able to pinpoint fallen angels and warn Castiel while he's on his off-screen adventures, he wants to get the computer running again but doesn't know how. Maybe it needs new hamsters. While investigating the ancient machinery, Dean knocks over a jar of magic goo without noticing it. By the time the Winchesters get Charlie over to the LOL to fix the computer, the goo has formed a gross cocoon against the wall. Dean cuts open the cocoon and out pops L. Frank Baum's daughter Dorothy. She sealed herself in that jar with the Wicked Witch from Oz 75 years ago. Yeah, Oz is a real place, Baum was a Man of Letters and his daughter was/is a hunter.
The Wicked Witch is loose in the LOL and causing all kinds of mayhem, even though the place is supposed to be warded against all evil. She's looking for a key that will open a portal back to Oz so she can loose her flying monkeys on an unsuspecting Earth. For real, you guys. And nobody's like, "Whoa, hey, Oz is some kind of real dimension like Hell or Purgatory or whatever? Is this some new crap we have to worry about?" Everybody's trying to figure out how to get rid of Elphaba, because she's apparently unkillable. Nobody thinks to try the demon knife or angel blade on her, or seal her up in the jar again, but instead chase after her with magical poppy powder. Unsurprisingly, Elphaba kills Charlie in no time at all. Even more unsurprisingly, Dean has Ezekiel bring her back to life and then lies very unconvincingly about it.
Elphaba possesses both Dean and Sam, who then try to kill Charlie and Dorothy with some painfully terrible acting. It's pretty stunning, actually. Dorothy finds the ruby slippers she got off that one Wicked Witch she did manage to kill and passes them off to Charlie. This is odd in itself, because weren't they silver in the books and not ruby? Anyway, Charlie takes the weaponized slippers and stabs Elphaba with them just in time to keep the witch from retrieving her evil monkeys. Is she dead, or did she escape back to Oz? Maybe they should have tried dropping a house on this one, too, just to make sure.
In the end, Dorothy takes Charlie with her to Oz to continue fighting the good fight, and to look for Toto, who hopefully hasn't been dead for the last 75 years. For most of the episode, Sam has been adamant that the LOL is their workplace, and not their home, but has a change of heart just in time to utter that iconic line... "There's no place like home." Lordy. Stay tuned for the full recap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!THEN! The Winchesters met a young lady named Charlie Bradbury, who helped them out a few times with her amazing computer skillz. Charlie thought she might become a hunter, which gave the brothers pause until they saw her amazing gun skillz. They extended to her an open invitation to the Lair O' Letters, which they'd once been told was the "safest place on earth," because it was "warded against any evil ever created." Why they would remind us of this and then completely ignore it later in the episode is a mystery that not even Charlie with any number of her amazing skillz could solve.
NOW! Or, according to the date on the screen, 1935. Everything's in black and white to make everything look extra old-fashioned. A man opens up the little puzzle box that the Men of Letters like to keep their secret keys in. It's like the kiddie version of the Lament Configuration. Majestic music plays as he and another man unlock the door to the LOL and make their way down to the darkened hub. They each sit down at what passed for a computer station back then and plug in something that could be a vacuum tube or a fancy pepper shaker. "Protocols complete!" announces the older of the two men. "James Haggerty," he introduces himself. "Peter Jenkins," says the one who looks like Doogie Howser. They shake hands and beam with pride over their accomplishment. Then they notice nothing seems to be happening. "Did we do everything right?" young Jenkins asks.
As if to answer his question, the lights come up all around the LOL. Machinery hums from elsewhere in the building. "It took three years to build this dump," Haggerty notes, his nose in the air. "Dump," Jenkins repeats, disbelieving. "This 'dump' is the last, true beacon of light in a world gone topsy-turvy! This 'dump' is the epicenter of the ultimate chess match between good and evil!"
It takes but six months for the shine to wear off. "What a dump," Jenkins sighs as he and Haggerty engage in a literal chess match. "You know, when I got this assignment, I thought there'd be, I dunno, excitement? Adventure?" Haggerty takes a hit off his flask and says, "There's nothing worse than adventure, my boy." The phone rings on the table beside them. Instead of a dial, it just has one big button with the MOL's secret symbol on it. Haggerty chastises somebody on the other end of the line for not knowing the correct password. "There's protocol here, young lady," he reminds her. He listens a little more, then appears to decide that they can forgo protocol this one time and invites her over. "Damn hunter," Haggerty grumbles, then elucidates when Jenkins looks puzzled: "Frank's kid." Jenkins is awestruck, because it seems this Frank person did something amazing for his daughter.
A few moments later, a young woman dressed like Amelia Earhart walks in, dragging a long, heavy bag behind her. How did she get in? She must not have had a key if she needed a password. Do the MOL just leave the door unlocked whenever they're inside? The lady looks kind of crabby. "Holy buckets," Jenkins breathes. "It's really you!" She says, with undisguised annoyance, "That's right, rookie, it's really me -- Dorothy." The bag at her feet begins to grumble and move about. "Now, which one of you geniuses is gonna help me kill the Wicked Witch?" she asks with a smirk. Supernatural has wings!
In the present day, Crowley has been ensconced in the dungeon for so long that he cringes away from the light when Sam opens the doors. "Hallo, Moose!" Sam ignores the greeting and slides a piece of paper across the table along with a crayon. "You want more demon names," Crowley guesses. He tries to bargain: "I want a room with a view." He crumples up the paper and gets into position to gloat, but Sam just turns on his heel and walks out. "We can discuss this!" Crowley calls after him. "I'd settle for stretching my legs!" Sam ignores him and turns off the lights, immersing the King of Hell in darkness once more. "Bollocks," comes the defeated whisper.
Sam has buried himself in research by the time Dean returns from his latest road trip. "How'd it go with Kevin?" Sam asks. "Well, that little nerd is in a lovely warded motel room in Branson," Dean says. "He's got about 48 hours of paid-for porn and Kenny Rogers ahead of him." What a horrible, horrible combination. Also, what the hell, Show? Two weeks ago it was all, "Demons and angels will hunt you down the second you step two inches out the door!" And now it's like, "Oh, sure, go spend a weekend in Branson, some 500 miles away!" This is going to end with a demonic Kenny Rogers kidnapping Kevin, isn't it? Sigh. Anyway, with Kevin on vacation, Dean thought it might be nice to take a little break, too. It's not like there are a thousand angels and demons out there, not to mention a toothpaste-eating, no-condom-using Castiel wandering the streets that they need to worry about. "I picked you up season one of Game of Thrones," Dean says, even though he totally got it for himself. We all remember how much you liked playing dress-up, Dean.
Sam's down with the GoT marathon, but... "I think I may have found a way to help Cass," he says. Dean gets all nervous because he's worried Sam may have actually talked to their formerly angelic friend. But no, not only did Sam not talk to him recently, he also apparently didn't talk to him before he left. He doesn't understand why Castiel had to go. "This is the safest place for him," he points out. "Bartholomew and who knows how many other angels are out there, gunning for him!" Dean stalls by peeling off three layers of jackets. "He thought he'd bring trouble down on us," he says. "But if you have a way to help him, I'm all ears." If the writers can't figure out how to have Misha Collins in every episode, they really need to come up with slightly better lies for Dean to cover his ass with. Like, hey, it turns out Castiel is a Shame-level sex addict and has to Fassbender his way across the country, and no amount of pleading with him could make him stay. But kicking him out of the safest place on earth with lame excuses? Dumb.
Sam reminds us of how the hub's table lit up when the angels fell. "Each light was where a cluster of angels fell," he says. "I was thinking maybe there's some way to hotwire this, make it track angels." Good luck with that, since the table is basically a giant Lite-Brite with bulbs they'd have to move by hand. "This was your idea?" Dean scoffs. "Do you see anyone else in here?" Sam asks. Now, see, normally Dean wouldn't be surprised that his brother came up with a tech-based way to help out. Sam's usually the one fiddling with the computer, after all. But to remind us that Ezekiel is taking up residence in Sam's noggin, he has to act like it's weird for Sam to think of stuff like this.
Sam shows Dean where the wires from the table end up, which is inside a heretofore-unseen computer room somewhere beneath the hub. "This is a computer?" Dean gawks. "It was, in 1951 when it was installed," Sam says. By 1951 standards, it's a pretty compact little thing, no bigger than a couple of refrigerators. Sam notes that it's not plugged into anything, which he finds weird since something is definitely powering it. It's the ghost of Nikola Tesla! Dean grabs a screwdriver and struggles to pry open a panel. The panel gives way suddenly and sends Dean stumbling backwards into a nearby shelf, tipping over a jar of what looks like leftover goo from those gross turducken sandwiches a couple seasons back. They don't notice the jar and instead turn their focus to the computer's innards. It's full of whizzbangs and doohickeys, as one would expect from a computer constructed in the 1950s. "Does it come with a manual?" Dean asks. "There's nothing in the archives," Sam says, "and I obviously couldn't find anything like it online." The jar of goo bubbles along in secret. "I think I know someone who could help us," Dean says. After he and Sam exit the room to call for backup, the glass stopper on the jar pops loose, allowing the goo to piddle onto the floor. Strands of goo spread up onto the wall. Note so self: When containing evil goo in jar, make sure said jar has secure closure.
Back to the past, before colors were invented. Everyone sits down with the Wicked Witch at a table like it's Thanksgiving with the fam. "So, what do you have to say for yourself?" Jenkins asks the witch. "Nothing," Dorothy answers for her. "I cut out her tongue." She says she's "bound" the witch, but notes that it won't last. You'd think the knowledge of this would impel these people to hurry up and make other arrangements, but you'd be wrong! Haggerty would rather use this precious time to marvel at how women can sometimes accomplish things. "You captured her all by yourself," he says to Dorothy, in the tone one might use to talk to a child who's just ridden her first big-kid bicycle. The tone is not lost on Dorothy: "Yes, and despite all my lady parts, I managed to capture the Wicked Witch." Haggerty makes an impressed face. Someone needs to punch him in it. Jenkins starts to fanboy about her dad's writing, but this just irritates her. Plus, they kind of have more important matters to discuss. "Now, I have tried cutting off her head," Dotty says, "burning her, dousing her with holy water... all she did was laugh!" The whole time, the witch is sitting there looking pretty pleased with herself, and secretly using her gross fingernails to saw through her bonds. "Nothing I know of can kill her," Dotty goes on. Has she tried dropping a house on her? Because that worked pretty well on that other witch. "I was hoping you stiffs have a way to kill someone from Oz." Jenkins feels quite sure they must have a way to kill her, so he and Haggerty hit the books.
Color fades back in, bringing us back to the present. Charlie Bradbury has just arrived with her amazing brain to save the Winchesters. She tells them she got fired the week before for exposing her boss's shady ways, but it's all cool. "It gives me more time for my hobbies," she says. "Like LARPing, macramé, hunting..." She says this last while wincing, because she knows Dean is going to object. Which, of course, he does. She says she took down a teenaged vampire and a ghost all by herself. "But I kinda wish hunting was more magical," she sighs. Oh shut up, Charlie. You killed a vampire and a ghost! Don't make it sound like a tax audit. Dean just rolls his eyes at her and takes her down to see the computer.
"It's kind of an alarm system," she says once she stops oohing and ahhing over its vintage chic. "Global badness happens, it freaks." It also appears to be powered by magic, which my grandmother swore was what powered all computers. "Can we use it to track angels?" Sam asks. "Let me see what I can do," Charlie says, cracking her knuckles.
After a quick montage of wires and gizmos, Charlie pronounces herself ready to download all the files off the old computer. At first I wondered how such an early computer would have that kind of internal memory, then I remembered: magic. Also magical is the fact that Charlie had all the adapters she needed to hook up UNIVAC Junior here to her tablet. "So you've been hunting," Sam says while they're waiting for the download. "Alone," Dean adds. "I know, not a good idea according to the Supernatural books," Charlie says. Sam bristles at the mention of them. "You really can't delete those from the Internet?" he asks, because he apparently doesn't know how the internet works. "Where do you even find them?" Dean wonders. "A top-secret place I call Amazon," Charlie duhs. Heh. To make matters worse, the utterly abhorrent Becky has been uploading all the unpublished books, as well. Sam acts all comically uncomfortable at the mention of her name because ladies who roofie dudes are funny! Dean gives him this look, like, "Dumbass." When Charlie realizes the download will take a while, she suggests they pass the time with a sleepover. She also suggests braiding each other's hair, but Sam, sadly, does not take her up on it.
Everybody piles into Sam's room for some Game of Thrones. "Wow, that Joffrey's a dick," Dean notices. Charlie starts to tell him about something particularly dickish coming up in a future ep, but Sam shushes her. "Whoa, spoilers! I haven't read all the books yet." Dean gapes at him and asks, "You're gonna read the books?" Sam retorts, "Yes, Dean, I like to read books... without pictures." Dean looks at him like he had no idea such things even existed. Sometimes Dean is an anti-intellectual moron. Other times, he can whip out the Vonnegut references like nobody's business. It all depends on what the episode needs. Also, when does Sam have time to slog through long fiction? The conversation turns to the state of Sam's bedroom, which Charlie notes seems rather sparsely decorated. It probably would have helped to swing the camera around to let us have a look, but all we can see is the bed and a night table. "I'm sorry I haven't hung up the 'Hang in there, kitty' poster yet," Sam says. Dean is baffled yet again. "So, what, our home's not good enough for the 'Hang in there, kitty' poster?" For Sam, this isn't home, but a place to work. Dean's so annoyed by this that he has to go find himself another beer.
This leaves Charlie and Sam to talk amongst themselves. "So Charlie, what was all this about hunting not being magical?" he asks. "Saving people, hunting things, the family business? I am down," she says. "But I was raised on Tolkien, man. Where's my quest?" Shut up, Charlie. "Magic quests suck," Sam says. "Trust me, they're all --"
"--dead ends," Haggerty finishes 75 years ago. "Nothing but dead ends!" He and Jenkins have been poring over books and discussing tactics, right in front of the Wicked Witch. Sigh. You don't discuss your plays in front of the opposing team, guys! She manages to claw her way through her rather flimsy-looking bonds and pops up out of her chair. Everyone is super surprised that this has happened. Jenkins leaps up to attack her, because in all his reading he didn't come across anything that said not to let her touch him. So, she touches his forehead and makes his eyes glow green, which is the only color to be seen in the olden days. Jenkins turns to Haggerty and Dot. "There's something in here that belongs to me," Jenkins says in a deep voice. "Take me to it!" Nobody knows what he's talking about. "Do you have a lab?" Dotty asks Haggerty. "Second floor, room 28," he says. Dotty makes a run for it. The witch follows after her.
The possessed Jenkins attacks Haggerty, who proves to be a bit sturdier than he looks. He grabs Jenkins's wrist and forces him to stab himself. The green goes out of Jenkins's eyes as he slumps against Haggerty. "You were right," Jenkins gasps. "There's nothing worse than adventure." He falls onto his side, the knife still in his gut even though a moment ago we heard it clatter to the floor. Bye, Doogie. Too bad the place wasn't "warded against any evil" or anything.
Haggerty runs upstairs, calling for Dorothy, just in time to see a bright light coming from room 28. He opens the door...
...and we're back to the present again as Charlie and the Winchesters walk through that same door. They've come to check on the download, but notice something funky behind the shelving unit. Sam and Dean shove the shelves to one side and expose the gray goo that's been growing up the wall. By now it looks like a big, crusty cocoon with two canoe-sized pouches, one of which appears to have burst open. Dean takes his pocket knife to the one intact pouch. Dust puffs out, followed by a lady's arm, followed by the rest of the lady. Dorothy plops out of the cocoon and onto the floor. Sam and Dean whip out their guns and decide to wait until the commercials are over before doing anything.
Charlie has used the time to dig up a few pertinent files, and then summarizes for us. "Holy crap! The first case investigated in this bunker involved Dorothy. She and the witch came into this room and they never came out! This will never stop blowing my mind!" She's about to pop from excitement. "Pace yourself, Toto," Dean says. "Oz is real," Charlie says. "It's part of the fairy world!" It's such a throwaway line that I missed it the first time around. The fact that we hear -- but don't see -- Charlie saying it makes me wonder if it was added in later for clarity. Dorothy, still on the floor but wrapped in a blanket, isn't one for resting. "We have to find her," she says. "We have to talk," Sam says. Dorothy rolls her eyes. "Typical Men of Letters," she snorts, "standing around having a nice little chat, with your noses buried in your books, while your little secretary takes notes." Everybody's a little bit miffed at that and inform her that they're hunters. Plus, didn't she notice they're all dressed like lumberjacks? She's surprised to learn she's been out for over 75 years. Oh my God, lady, just wait until you see the improvements they've made in feminine hygiene products! Sam asks her about what happened. "According to our files, you came here to kill the Wicked Witch and disappeared," he says. "We couldn't find a way to kill her," she says, "so I did the only thing I could..."
1935. In what was then the lab, Dorothy mixes assorted herbs and potions into a glass jar. The final ingredient, as is so often the case, is a bit of her blood, which she obtains by cutting into her palm. People always be cutting their palms for these things, like they're not going to need to use their hands later. Try cutting your arm sometime! The witch barges into the room. Dorothy drops the stopper into the jar. "It's you and me forever, bitch!" A flash of light sucks them both into the jar and turns them into turducken goo. A moment later, Haggerty runs in, calling for her. He looks around, stumped, at the empty room before him.
"A binding spell," Dorothy explains in the present day. "But it came at a price -- her soul with mine." She points out that the witch is still alive, which would be cause for great concern if they were anywhere but the safest place on earth.
By now, the witch has found her way down to the torture dungeon. "Hello, lovely," Crowley greets her. She takes a step toward him, but the Devil's Trap burns her. Hey, maybe they should try one of those on her! No? "Sorry, this soda box is warded against everything," Crowley says. "Even Wicked Witches." She scrunches her face, surprised that he knows who she is. "Big fan of your work," he explains. She makes a sound like a cross between a giggle and a sump pump. "What's the matter, darling? Cowardly Lion got your tongue?" Crowley tosses her his crayon and paper so she can tell him why she's there.
Up in the lab-turned-computer-room, Sam would rather stand around talking a bit longer. "Wait, if she's here, why didn't she kill you?" he asks. "She can't," Dorothy duhs. "You're protected by the Witch of the North's kiss," Charlie remembers from the books. Dorothy gets her old-time panties in a bunch because to hell with the books! "Now, the witch came here looking for something, I have no idea what it is," Dorothy says, "but we have to find her before she finds it." Also, didn't Dorothy drag the witch to the LOL? It's not like she went there under her own power. Sam and Dean head off to do their Winchester thang while Charlie stays behind to look stuff up on her computer. "I'm helping," Dorothy says, hot on their heels. "I don't doubt it," Sam says. "But for now, why don't you rest up and help the smartest person in the room?" Charlie blushes like it's a compliment instead of being damned with faint praise.
Dorothy stands around looking like she's the last girl at the dance waiting for an invite. "So, a big fan," Charlie gushes at her. But Dorothy doesn't quite match up with her expectations from the books. "Those books are the ravings of a sad old man -- my father," Dorothy says. Charlie is stunned. "Wait -- your father was L. Frank Baum, the writer?" Perhaps Charlie is a little puzzled because Baum didn't have any daughters on record. Dorothy grumps about her father, who was a Man of Letters or as Dotty puts it, a "glorified librarian." Dissing book nerds doesn't sit right with Charlie, who snaps at Dorothy for her bad attitude. Librarians are smart! Haggerty even kept a case file open for Dorothy, working every day to find her. Guess he never noticed that big bottle of goo in the lab. He also found something they could use against the witch. "Do you remember the poppy fields from the first book?" Charlie asks. "That's not actually how it happened," Dorothy says. "It was much bloodier --" Charlie cuts her off: "Stop ruining my childhood!" She says Haggerty got some poppy extract from a fairy. She goes off to fill some bullets with the extract. "Are you coming or what?" she tosses over her shoulder. Dorothy makes an impressed face, because Charlie is amazing, and follows after her.
The brothers wind up in the torture dungeon, where Crowley greets them with a whistled rendition of "Over the Rainbow." "Well, if isn't the Scarecrow and the Tin Man," he says. The brothers don't react to that, so Crowley goes on: "Your new houseguest? So misunderstood." He's positive shocked that neither of them saw Wicked. There should be an entire episode of Crowley doing all the stuff in between his various evil acts. Like, there he is, taking in a Broadway musical! There he is, watching Bullwinkle cartoons! The Winchesters want to know what the witch said to him, so Crowley barters for a little stretch. Dean unlocks Crowley neck irons, allowing him just enough freedom to stand. "What did the witch want?" Sam asks. "Give me a mo," Crowley says, determined to milk this for as much as he can. Dean shoots him in the chest. "Rude," Crowley notes. He shows them the witch's note. It bears just one word: key. Crowley had no idea what key she's looking for, but sent her to the kitchen, because why not?
Dean is aghast to find his precious kitchen in disarray. "Damn it, I just cleaned in here!" How did they not hear her rifling through half the cookware section of Bed Bath & Beyond? While Dean mourns, Charlie and Dorothy arrive to show off their fresh poppy bullets. "They won't kill her," Charlie says, "but they will stun the crap out of her!" She only had enough extract to make four bullets, which is convenient because there are four of them with guns. While everyone loads up, Sam says the witch is looking for a key. "It's the key to Oz," Dorothy realizes. If you're not going to get there by tornado, the key is the way in. She goes on: "This key will turn any door into portal to Oz." She's frantic that the witch not get her hands on the key, lest she return to Oz and destroy it. She takes out her little pocket journal and shows them a sketch of the key. Dean remembers seeing it when he found the MOL's stash of historic porn. Everybody splits up to take on their assigned tasks -- Dorothy and Sam to stall the witch, Dean to find the key. He tries to get Charlie to hide out in the dungeon, but she's all het up to finally undertake a magical quest.
Sam and Dorothy wander around the LOL and get to know each other a little. "How long have you called this place home?" she asks. "My brother calls it home," Sam says. "Me, I haven't had that much luck with homes." This is in contrast to Dean, who was lucky enough to watch his first home burn to the ground after their mom got set on fire, then lived in motels for the 30 years. They're so busy talking about their mutual hang-ups that they almost don't notice the witch sneaking up behind them. Dorothy shoots and wings the witch with her one poppy bullet. The witch turns herself into a swirl of green smoke and disappears into the nearest air vent. Dorothy and Sam decide to split up to go looking for her.
While Charlie and Dean search through his room, green smoke starts pouring in through the vent. Man, it's too bad this place isn't warded against all evil! Dean finds the key just in time for the witch to materialize behind him and grab it out of his hand. She punches him and he goes bouncing off his bed and onto the floor. The witch hurls a handful of green lightning in his direction, but Charlie leaps between them, intercepting the blast. Dean shoots the witch square in the chest, but it doesn't keep her from smoking back out the vent. Those poppy bullets are just about damned useless, is what they are. Dean drops to his knees and takes Charlie's face in his hands. He calls her name again and again, and gets no answer.
He scoops her up and carries her over to the bed and smooths the hair away from her brow. He hears Sam coming down the hall. "Zeke!" he calls out. Sam's eyes flash blue. His posture immediately improves 300%. "You have to help her," Dean says. "She's gone," Samekiel says. "You can bring her back, like you did Cass," Dean says. "I cannot keep doing that," Samekiel says." Dean wants to know why the hell not? Well, we're only four episodes into the season and this "Zeke ex Machina" thing is already getting repetitive and boring, for starters. But Zeke's objection is that it will weaken him further and require that he stay holed up in Sam longer and longer. Samekiel says he can either help them get rid of the witch, or heal Charlie. Dean thinks for a moment and says, "Save her." Samekiel kneels by Charlie and touches two fingers to her forehead. He makes a face and sound like he's pooping himself, and then falls back, unconscious. Charlie pops up, bleary-eyed but alive. Sam wakes up a second later, rubbing his head. Dean explains about Charlie saving him, and then lies about the witch knocking out Sam. Dorothy shows up to keep an eye on Charlie while the brothers run off to find the witch. In a nice moment, Sam picks up Charlie's gun with its one poppy bullet and hands it off to Dean without explanation.
"Who's Zeke?" Sam wants to know as he and Dean stalk through the halls of the LOL. Not that it's an inappropriate thing to wonder, but maybe he could hold off on the talking while they're trying to sneak up on the witch. After all, it's not like they're in the safest place on earth. Sam says, "Back in your room, before I got zapped, I thought you said the name Zeke." The vacuum tubes in Dean's brain fizz and pop. "I think you're still a little punchy," he says, unable to come up with any other lie. He even rolls his eyes at himself when Sam's back is turned, aware of what an awful job he's doing with this "secrets and lies" thing.
Up in Dean's room, Charlie is still recovering. "I had the weirdest dream when I was out," she says. She starts to tell Dorothy about her Christmas dream, but Dorothy cuts her off. "Charlie, you died," she says. "Don't worry about it, though. You're not a real hunter until you've died and come back again!" Remember when coming back to life was kind of a novelty? You had to make a deal with a crossroads demon and it was some really serious shit. Now it's like, hey, angel, reanimate my friend and then make me some popcorn or whatever. Dorothy explains that one zap from the witch means instant death. She should know, because the witch killed her once, too. She neglects to explain how she managed to get un-killed, but tells Charlie about the time she snuck off with her dad to the Emerald City and got stuck there. "I met up with these three freedom fighters," she says. "They thought I was some Child of Destiny, chosen to kill the Wicked Witch." Dorothy says the witch cast a spell that turned the fighters into the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion. She still doesn't explain how she managed to come back from the dead.
The Winchesters continue stalking through the LOL. "Why haven't you moved in?" Dean asks. "Is this really the time for this?" Sam asks. "Just askin'," Dean says. So they stop in the middle of the hub and talk it over. "I never had what you had with Mom and Dad," Sam says. "I don't have any memories of home." Considering that Dean was four when their house burned, that's probably one of the only memories he has of it. Dean points out that the LOL is the closest thing to a home they're going to get. Sam makes a sad face.
Dorothy and Charlie take off from Dean's room. Because nobody knows how to stay quiet long enough to avoid being found out by witches and so forth, the two of them decide to have a gab fest, too. Dorothy really doesn't care for her father's books at all, calling them revisionist history. "When the witch came to our world, I became a hunter," she says, "and my father wrote those silly books." Never mind that he published the first one in 1900, before his non-existent daughter would have even been born. "Don't you get it?" Charlie asks. "They're guidebooks filled with clues he left for you." In that case, an instruction manual with clear steps and bullet points might have been a wee bit more helpful. She reminds Dorothy of the poppies that Haggerty discovered, thanks to the books. "Maybe there's something else we can use -- preferably something with a pointy end," Charlie says. "You are a genius!" Dorothy cries, suddenly remembering something. "Come on, we've got to get the garage!"
Just as Sam declares the hub witch-free, she pops up and grabs him. It looks funny, because she's a normal-sized person and he's a giraffe. Dean aims his gun, but doesn't have a clear shot with Sam's ginormous head in the way. Instead, he lunges and knocks them both to the ground. The witch gives them a little love tap on their foreheads. Their eyes flash green to signal possession. Inside Sam now resides his own soul, an entire angel, and part of a witch. Just how much room does he have in there? Is he like a human TARDIS? "Find the girls," Sam says in a distorted voice. "And kill them both," adds Dean in an equally distorted voice. Gosh, it really is too bad the LOL isn't warded against evil, isn't it?
Dorothy and Charlie take some stairs up into the heretofore-unseen garage, which is just full of guh-orgeous antique cars and motorcycles. Also: what the hell? How did Sam and Dean not notice this garage here? It'd be one thing if it were buried deep below ground, but it's some floors up. How is this disguised from the outside? Anyway, among these treasured modes of transportation is Dorothy's old motorcycle, in pristine condition thanks to the MOL. Even her old satchel is intact, which is where she finds the pair of red patent heels she stashed there, all those years ago. "Did you actually walk down a brick road in these?" Charlie asks. "No, I never actually wore them," Dorothy says. "Seemed kinda tacky wearing a dead woman's shoes, plus I'm no good in heels." Plus, the slippers were only made red for the movies, but if they're going to overlook the fact that Frank Baum didn't have a daughter named Dorothy, then why let a little thing like shoe color get in the way? "I don't suppose we can just wish the witch away," Charlie says. "Another thing the books got wrong," Dorothy says. "But, like the poppies, they do have magic from Oz -- sharp magic!"
"There you are," Dean says. Suddenly he and Sam are standing there. Charlie laughs because Dean's voice is even deeper and more gravelly than usual… and that's saying something. "Is that your Batman voice?" she asks. The brothers' eyes flash green. "It's her," Dorothy says. "She's possessed the both of them!" Charlie and Dorothy back up and the Witch-chesters advance ever so slowly on them. "I've missed you, my pret-ty," Sam says. It's pret-ty hilarious. "Killing you a second time... will be just as sweet as the first," Dean says. Also hilarious! Charlie tries to appeal to Dean, trapped somewhere behind his terrible line delivery, but he just grabs her and smashes her into a window.
The witch huffs and puffs as she climbs the stairs to the gallery above the hub, holding a cauldron full of miscellaneous supplies. She's obviously having some difficulty with the cardio demands that the stairs present, so why not just turn into smoke and waft herself up there? Or, failing that, why not use any random door downstairs, since the key will turn any door into a portal to Oz? She kneels before the entrance and pulls her cowl up over her head to achieve a properly dramatic look for her spell.
Up in the garage, Sam and Dean continue to be unintentionally hilarious. "I have no intention of escaping! To Oz," Dean enunciates. "I'm going to bring my armies here," Sam says. He takes a step toward Dorothy.
Meanwhile, the witch mixes up something that looks like goji berries, cinnamon and ground coffee in her cauldron. Maybe she needs to lure the flying monkeys with the promise of a hot, delicious beverage. Otherwise, what's the cauldron even for? All she needs to open the portal is the key. She cuts her palm (always with the palm) and bleeds green blood into her concoction. She opens the door and reveals the roiling skies of Oz. She makes some sounds like that famous talking porcupine, then cackles with mad glee.
Garage. "Don't worry," Dean says. "You'll join Dorothy right after you watch her die." Dean makes the mistake of looking back at Dorothy to emphasize his point. "Sorry about the nards, Dean," Charlie says, then hauls off and kicks him in the crotch. Not even being possessed by a witch keeps him from feeling it, and down he goes with a comical groan. Dorothy takes advantage of the momentary distraction and knocks out Sam. She tosses Charlie the shoes. "Go! I'll buy you some time!" Seems like Dorothy would be the wiser choice to confront the witch, since Charlie is not only inexperienced, but killable, too. As Charlie runs off to what should be her certain doom, Dorothy turns to face down the Witch-chesters. "All right, let's see what you pencil-necks are made of!" Lady, they already told you they're hunters, not nerdlinger librarians!
The witch adds more coffee to her brew. The aroma reaches all the way to Oz, where it's picked up by a gaggle of flying monkeys. They want some of that magic espresso and come flapping and hooting toward the portal.
Dorothy isn't faring so well against the Witch-chesters. "My body can't hurt you," Dean says, "but theirs can." Well, that explains that little loophole. Sam grabs Dorothy from behind. Dean points his knife at her throat. You'd think the witch would be in a hurry to off Dorothy, but maybe she's too occupied with her spell.
Maybe that's why she also doesn't hear Charlie sneaking up behind her. As Charlie stabs her in the back of the head with the shoe's pointy heel, the witch loses possession of the Winchesters. Dean blink-blinks in confusion.
"Now heel," Charlie quips, and stabs the witch with the second shoe. The witch... disappears? I guess? There's just her empty robe on the floor with a pair of shoes. thing you know, Charlie's struggling to pull the door shut just as the flying monkeys are about to cross the threshold. When Charlie peeks behind the door again, all she sees is the regular, old stairwell. Monkey crisis averted! She fishes the key out of the witch's robe. Guess it wasn't still in the door, then. The Winchesters rush into the hub, guns drawn, but find the situation handled. "Ding dong, bitches," Charlie says. Sam smiles up at her while Dean looks like he just narrowly avoided a heart attack.
With the witch mysteriously gone, Sam turns his attention back to Crowley. He shackles the former King of Hell once more and lays out another crayon and piece of paper. He's fed up with this crap and just stomps off without saying a word. "Bollocks," Crowley curses into the darkness.
Sam and Charlie join Dean and Dorothy in the garage. The Impala has also been invited to the party. "Baby looks good in here, huh?" Dean asks. It's nice that the Impala gets her own room, too. Sam hands Dorothy a copy of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. "You have no idea how odd it is having a series of books written about you," she says. "Actually, I do know," says Fabio. Meanwhile, Charlie and Dean scoot off to the side to have their own little chat. "Thanks for the slumber party," Charlie says, "and for bringing me back from the dead." Dean is terrible at lying again. Charlie wonders if she's a zombie. "Do I need to eat brains?" she asks. "No, you're you," he whispers. "Just, ah, keep this between us, okay?" She agrees, as long as he promises to explain it all to her later.
Sam and Dorothy walk over, just in time to miss the incriminating parts of the conversation. "Not bad for a bunch of librarians," Dorothy says. Oh my God, lady. They're hunters like you! She thanks them for their help, and then bids them all farewell. "If you'll excuse me, I have a rebellion to finish." Then, to Charlie: "So, you coming or what?" They can go find her dog, Dorothy says. Her poor, long-dead dog. "There's flying monkeys, there's armies of witches and all kinds of danger," Dean reminds Charlie. He means to dissuade her, but ends up making her more excited. "Promise?" she asks. Knowing Charlie, she'll get a good witch to kiss her in no time, and then she'll be protected like Dorothy. She hugs Dean, then Sam, and walks with Dorothy through a magical portal that opens onto the Yellow Brick Road. "For Those About to Rock We Salute You" by AC/DC plays as the Winchesters watch Dorothy and Charlie head toward the Emerald City. The doors swing shut on their own. When Sam and Dean push them open again, the yellow bricks have been replaced by a long tunnel leading out of the Batcave. Did Charlie find a way to use the computer to track the angels?
"Think she'll be back?" Dean asks. "Of course," Sam says. "There's no place like home." A loud groaning sound can be heard coming from somewhere off-screen. It sounds like somebody is in terrible, terrible pain. Oh, wait... that was me. Stay tuned for the episode and recap, when Dean gets in touch with his inner canine. Maybe someone he'll wear a collar, and call someone "master."
Tippi Blevins warded this recap against all evil. Sadly, it didn't stick. Send holy water to b_tippi@yahoo.com, or chant spells at her on Twitter: @TippiB.
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