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So, after all the deadly mayhem of last week, Kevin wants to go see if his mother is safe. Dean and Sam (but mostly Dean) think it's a bad idea. Crowley probably has demons all around her and is just waiting for Kevin to show up. But it's not like the Winchesters to avoid something just because it's a bad idea, so they drop in on Mama Tran. Crowley does, indeed, have her surrounded by demons. They're incognito as the postman, gardener, and even Mama Tran's friend, but Dean recognizes and dispatches them with his finely honed hunter skills. Mama Tran is having a hard time with the notion that her boy is a Prophet of the Lord, but she's proud and fearless and invites herself on their quest to retrieve the Word of God. First stop: a tattoo shop to get anti-demon tattoos for the Trans.
It turns out Kevin's idea of a "safe" hiding place for the Word is a bus station locker. Naturally, it's been pilfered by the time the motley road trip crew get there. They track it down to a pawn shop, where Mama Tran intimidates the broker into telling them he's since sold the Word to someone else. Just when it looks like the rest of the episode is going to be a boring procedural, a guy named Beau intercepts them and invites them to an auction where the Word, among other items, will be sold. He works for the god Plutus, who favors velour jogging suits and gold chains. At the auction, they're met by an adorable angel named Samandriel who asks Mama Tran to entrust her baby boy to the angels. She chooses to stick with the Winchesters, because the angels kind of did a crap job the last time they were supposed to protect Kevin.
The auction goes downhill pretty quickly. The prices are steep – Odin's brother Vili ends up having to trade in the finger of a frost giant and parts of a virgin just to win his nephew's hammer. The Winchesters and friends don't have near enough currency to offer up. Crowley shows up and offers the moon in exchange for the Word. Like, literally the moon. When Plutus decides to add Kevin to the auction, Mama Tran bids her soul to save her boy. Sold! To the lady with killer maternal instincts. Alas, Crowley's minions burn off her protective tattoo, allowing the King of Hell himself to possess her. Sam battles Vili and Beau with Thor's hammer and seems quite the natural. Dean goes after Mama Tran with the demon-killing knife, but Crowley skedaddles with the Word before he has to carry through with it. Sam's worry grows as Dean later says he wishes he'd killed her with Crowley inside. Unfortunately, the whole ordeal has left Mama Tran an unresponsive shell of her former self. Kevin sneaks away with her before the Winchesters (mostly Dean) can do any more damage.
We also get flashbacks of Dean and Benny hunting their way through Purgatory. Even Benny seems a little worried by how ruthless Dean has become. They eventually track down Castiel, who finally – finally – gets a Dean hug. The poor guy fled upon their entry into Purgatory in order to lure the monsters away from Dean. As to what ultimately happened to Castiel, we get one more tantalizing clue as he's seen losing his grip on someone's arm, calling out Dean's name, possibly as they're all trying to make their escape from Purgatory. Is this the "letting go" Dean mentioned before? Stay tuned for the full recap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!THEN! Dean came back from Purgatory and reunited with Sam. Then he was kind of evasive about just how he survived (he has a secret new vampire friend) and exactly what happened to Castiel (who is either dead or close enough). The Winchesters don't like to talk about their feelings except for when they talk about them all the time. One thing's for sure: Dean came back from Purgatory with a lot more hugs to give out. Kevin Tran became a Prophet of the Lord, got kidnapped by Crowley, managed to escape and then got ignored by Sam for a year. While in demonic captivity, Kevin learned that Crowley had found another Word of God, this one about how to banish all demons from Earth forever. This made Dean feel all tingly.
NOW! Chicago, Illinois. A young woman leads a frail-looking older gentleman to a safe deposit vault. "So sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Vili," she says. "It's just been so long since you checked in with us, we had to dig through our archives." He would have gotten there sooner, but he had to stop off in 1939 to pick up his outfit. His deposit box is so old that its number is a single digit: 1. Instead of leaving the room and minding her own business while Mr. Vili sorts through his possessions like she should have, Miss Nosy sticks around she can be nosy and die. She gasps to see what Mr. Vili has pulled out of his deposit box. "Is that... a bone?" she asks. He turns the object this way and that, admiring it. "Not just any bone, my dear - an extremely valuable one." It looks like a rhinoceros horn covered in pork floss. Miss Nosy looks positively queasy, but offers her further assistance to Mr. Vili. He says he would like to make a withdrawal. Miss Nosy smiles, then gasps in horror at whatever Mr. Vili is doing out of frame. The camera suddenly pans right, which means there's about to be a blood splatter on the nearest wall. Aaand... there it is. Right on time. The title card blazes onto the screen.
The Winchesters and the Lord's Littlest Prophet, have stopped off for a nosh somewhere en route to retrieving the Word of God. Dean is chowing down on a burger with what appears to be a whole wheat bun. A whole wheat bun, people. He's farther gone than we thought. We've joined the group in mid-conversation. His cheek bulging like a chipmunk on a walnut binge, Dean mumbles, "Are you kidding me? You're kidding me." Kevin has asked that they swing by home to check on his mother. "It's a day's drive in the opposite direction!" Dean protests, like that's any considerable distance for the Impala. "Yes, I understand we're in a hurry," Kevin says. "Then what's the problem?" Dean asks. "Channing's broken neck is my problem!" Kevin very nearly shouts. Dean rolls his eyes as if Kevin were asking if they could go home to make sure he'd set his DVR correctly. Considering how much his own mother's death has shaped his life, you'd think Dean would be a wee bit more sympathetic. Kevin lowers his voice. "I'd rather not see my mom twisted into a corkscrew."
Sam, who's been sitting quietly this whole time, pipes up with, "Kid's got a point, Dean." Dean argues that Kevin's mom is fine because Crowley needs her to be. He says she's probably surrounded by demons right now, protecting her, so that they can grab Kevin when he shows up. It's... not the strongest argument. She could be possessed by a demon and it wouldn't matter if she were dead or alive. Kevin has not been made to feel better by Dean's arguments. Sam looks worried as this conversation has gone on, but says nothing. Dean is determined to get to the Word of God as quickly as possible, work the spell and send all the demons back to Hell. He talks like he's going to retire, says something about "sunshine and sandy beaches," but can you imagine him ever truly retiring? Kicking back in socks and sandals without losing his mind? Kevin makes one last plea: "Dean, my mom's all alone. She's surrounded by demons. Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?" Dean rolls his eyes again, looks to Sam for backup and gets none. He throws up his arms. "Fine! Let's go." You big softie, you.
So it's back to Michigan we go. The Winchesters and their charge park across the street from the Tran house. With binoculars, Sam spots Mama Tran standing in the window. Khaira Ledeyo played her the last time we saw her, but now she's played by Lauren Tom. Kevin grabs the binoculars so he can see her for himself. "She seems okay," Kevin says. She drifts away from the window, head bowed. "Sad, but okay." Meanwhile, Dean has sized up the situation and noticed that the mailman has stopped by the Trans' mailbox three times since they showed up. He's also got his eye on the gardener, who's been spending an awful lot of time watering a single plant. Purgatory has honed his hunting skills.
The gardener finally moves on to another plant, only to discover something's gone wrong with the hose. When he goes to check the faucet, Dean jumps him and stabs him through the heart with the demon-killing knife. Luckily, the gardener really was a demon and not just an absentminded regular person. The mailman hears the ruckus and comes to have a look-see. This time it's Sam who does the stabbing. The mailman sizzles and falls to the ground, dead.
Inside, Mama Tran and a friend chat over tea and cards. "He'll be back. You just have to believe," says the friend. "Thanks, Eunice," Mama Tran says. "I do believe. I just... wish I could do more." Speaking of doing more, why doesn't Crowley actually do something to lure Kevin? Just letting him show up on his own sweet time doesn't seem very proactive. Is he too busy coming up with new ways to insult the Winchesters? Eunice assures her that she's doing the right thing just by baiting for Kevin. Er, waiting for him. Just then, a knock comes at the front door and Mama Tran finds herself face to face with her baby boy. She lights up. It's like a wonderful, beautiful dream that's finally coming true. Violin music swells. Mama Tran moves to hug her long-lost son, but Dean and Sam step between them and splash her with holy water and borax. The violin music cuts off abruptly. Mama Tran sputters with mingled indignation and confusion. Both are perfectly normal, human reactions. Dean gives Kevin the go-ahead to hug his mom.
While the Trans are enjoying their reunion, Sam sniffs the air. "Do you smell that?" he asks. Toucan Sam follows his nose to the kitchen, where friendly Eunice suddenly vomits up a geyser of black smoke. Sam starts hurling some Latin, forcing the demon back into her body. Dean and the Trans rush into the kitchen just in time to witness this. Dean stabs Eunice in the gut, causing her to fizzle and spark like a scrap of aluminum in a microwave oven. She falls heavily to the floor. "Eunice!" Mama Tran cries. "That's not Eunice," Dean says.
Some time later, they all have a sit-down in the living room. Mama Tran stares off into space as the Winchesters explain that her friend was possessed by a demon. Thinking that his mom isn't quite getting it, Kevin helpfully asks, "Have you ever seen the Exorcist?" Mama Tran snaps out of it and gives him a great "bitch, please" face. She turns her attention to Dean. "Did you really have to kill her?" she asks. "Demon would have warned Crowley where Kevin was if we didn't," Dean says. Kevin nods his agreement. They inform her that Crowley is the one who kidnapped Kevin, which is true, except that the last time Mama Tran saw her son, he was being kidnapped by the Leviathans. So apparently Edgar the Leviathan took Kevin but then inexplicably left the mom alone so that she could go about having tea and playing cards with her friends. Maybe the reason the bad guys keep losing is that they just don't want it enough.
Anyway, Kevin says Crowley is after him to translate the tablet so he can take over the universe. Dean and Sam tell Mama Tran that they're going to close the gates of Hell forever. She takes this all in, then gives her boy a long, considering look. "Prophet of the Lord, huh? That does have a nice ring to it." Yeah, but it's no Princeton. She invites herself along for the trip over the Winchesters' protestations. Sam describes all the horrible things that Crowley could do to her. He could take her soul, torture her, make her watch the last two seasons of this show. Mama understands the risks, but she can't be persuaded to let them take her to a safe house. She crosses her arms and gives the Winchesters a defiant look. Dean tries to get Kevin to talk to his mom, but he's more scared of her than he ever was of Crowley. Dean can't help but be just a little bit impressed with Mama Tran and finally agrees to take her along on their road trip. Still, he takes some delight in telling her she's going to have to get an anti-demon tattoo first. Sam pulls aside the neck of his shirt to show off his ink. Dean smiles as if expects this to be a deal breaker for Mama Tran, but she's cool with it. "Like it's my first tattoo," she scoffs. Kevin gapes at his mom. He's been abducted Leviathans, demons, and angels, but the thought of his mom being kind of cool may be the most shocking thing he's ever faced.
Cut to Ye Olde Tattoo Emporium, where the Trans get their arms inked in adjacent chairs. Kevin whimpers and writhes and huffs while Mama Tran remains utterly calm. She even has a little smile on her face. She reaches over to hold her baby's hand. Dean and Sam watch the whole thing with amusement. "You smell that, Sammy?" Dean asks. "Burning flesh?" Sam guesses. "Revenge," Dean tells him. Presumably he means revenge against Crowley and not against Kevin for being a whiny little wiener, but both are applicable. While they're waiting, Dean asks Sam how he did the reverse exorcism on Eunice. Sam says he just said the verse backwards. Dean is impressed, but Sam acts like it's no big. Kevin has moved on from whimpering to full-on screeching. Shut up, Kevin. At least it's a fairly cool tattoo. What if the symbol to keep demons out was a picture of a baboon's inflamed ass or something?
stop: Laramie, Wyoming. At some point during his year on the lam, Kevin hid the Word of God in a bus station locker. After checking around to make sure there aren't any demons afoot, Dean opens the locker and finds (wait for it!) bubkes. time Kevin wants to keep something safe, he should hide it on Dean's person. Nobody would be able to find it under the myriad layers of his clothes. Today, for instance, he is wearing a tee and two long-sleeve shirts. Two! He's like some kind of sexy hobo. Sam gives Dean a prissy little "told you so" look, even though it was Dean who wanted to skip the family reunion and find the tablet as quickly as possible. "Shut up!" Dean says to Sam's look because, yeah.
The show takes a commercial break so that the brothers can go put on business suits. They ask a security guard about the lockers and learn that someone named Clem Smedley has been plundering them. He was a former guard himself before he realized he was missing his calling as a thief. The current guard directs them to the county jail.
Up to now, the episode has felt a bit plodding and mechanical, with everyone moving dutifully from point to point in the plot, but it's about to get better. So much better.
The Winchesters and their suits pay Clem a visit at the jail. While Sam assumes the role of Good Cop, Dean paces around the interrogation room, instantly impatient. Sam asks Clem about the missing tablet. "Can I even answer that without my lawyer present?" Clem asks. "I'm sure we can work out a little something-something with the locals if you just cooperate," Sam says. Dean starts zoning out. Sam and Clem's voices sound distant. The room goes hazy. For the rest of the scene, Dean exists both in the past and present, in Purgatory and in the interrogation room. In his memory of the past, he and Benny have some kind of monster man tied up to a tree. Benny: "I don't think he knows, man." Dean doesn't buy that. He gets all up in the monster's face. "Where's the angel?" Dean smiles like maybe he doesn't want the answer to come too easily, like maybe he's having a little too much fun with this. He blinks and he's back in the interrogation room with Clem and Sam. Dean undoes his tie as if to make himself more comfortable, except his expression is utterly terrifying.
In a blur, he slips his tie around Clem's neck and yanks him up out of his seat. Dean shoves him up against a wall and reaches into his pocket for the demon knife. He presses the blade to Clem's throat. "You feel that?" Dean asks. Sam calls out his brother's name, but Dean isn't listening. Another flashback to Purgatory and the monster tells Dean about a stream that leads to a clearing. "You'll find your angel there." (A portion of the fandom notices the use of the possessive and promptly squeals at a frequency only heard by bats.) As the monster confesses in Dean's past, Clem in the present is confessing to selling the tablet to a pawn shop. Dean gives his captive monster a very pretty smile, then stabs him through the lower jaw so that the bloody blade is visible through his open mouth. Benny lowers his gaze and bows his head. A vampire disturbed by death? Or is he afraid his human ticket out of Purgatory is losing his humanity? Clem does not suffer the same fate, but Dean looks sorely tempted.
The gang pull up outside the pawn shop and take notice of the very red, very shiny Ferrari parked out front. Inside, Sam approaches a guy behind the counter. "Agents Neil and Sixx, we're with the FBI," he says. The guy jumps to his feet and shouts, "That is clearly a lie! Those are Motley Crue names! You are lying liars who lie!" Or maybe the big dullard just sits there and listens to their spiel about the pilfered tablet and then pretends like he's never heard of it. Dean makes some threat about getting rough with him, but the guy points out the security cameras. Like they wouldn't just erase the footage afterwards. Mama Tran tries a different approach: "Is that your car outside?" The pawn guy scoffs. "What's it to you, mail order?" Dean slams his hand down on the counter. "Hey, pal!" Mama Tran doesn't need anybody defending her, though, and proceeds to smoothly take control of the situation. She guesses (correctly) that it's his Ferrari parked outside, and that he acquired it so recently that he hasn't even paid the taxes on it yet. She threatens to turn him over to the tax assessor's office. "So, what's it going to be?" she asks. "The tablet, or that piece of Eurotrash crap you call a car?" Dean and Sam make proud faces. The pawn guy stews in the juices of his own hot, bitter defeat.
The information he gives them leads them to a tacky little motel, where they're met by a little man who's dressed like he's going to Willy Wonka's wedding. He reveals that knows all about the prophet, the Winchesters and the missing tablet. He introduces himself as "Beau" and kisses Mama Tran's hand, much to her delight. However, it soon becomes clear that he's up to something sinister when he invites Kevin to an auction where the tablet will be sold. Dean's not down with that, but Beau assures him that they have a strict policy against curses and supernatural trickery. He gives them his word as the "right hand" of the god Plutus. "Is that even a planet anymore?" Dean jokes. Lord, please let it be a joke. Beau gives him a disdainful look. "It's the god of greed," he says, "and my liege has warded these premises against Hell, Heaven and beyond." He talks it up as the safest place Kevin could possibly be, which means it's the complete opposite of that. Beau flits away, leaving the gang to wonder how they're going to come up with enough money to bid on the Word of God. Sam starts eyeing the Impala even though he's just seen how quickly Dean is with the violence lately. Then it occurs to him that Kevin just read the tablet at the auction and they won't have to buy it. It's such a simple plan that it's destined to succeed!
They get to the auction, which is being held in some grungy old warehouse. They all have to pass through a metal detector, which happens without incident until it's Dean turn. He sets off the alarm and the guards make him fork over an entire militia's worth of weaponry. How was he hiding that much stuff on him? Is that what all the shirts are for?
All the attendees mingle and ogle the items during the preview. Among the oglers are a Buddhist monk (!) and Mr. Vili from the bank scene earlier. He peers into a glass case at a large hammer inscribed with Norse symbols. So he's that Vili - brother of Odin, uncle to Thor. Sam and Dean find the Word of God, but it's mostly hidden behind metal plates so that the hieroglyphs can't be seen. Everyone feels pretty defeated. "It's okay, we just gotta come up with Plan B," Sam says. "And what, pray tell, could possibly have been Plan A?" asks a familiar voice behind them. They turn to see Crowley. He guesses their original plan: "Bring the prophet to the most dangerous place on Earth, memorize the tablet and then... vamoose?" He puts particular emphases on the "moose" syllable as he looks at Sam.
"Crowley," Dean says, putting as much loathing into the name as he can. Crowley ignores him and turns to Kevin so he can gloat about killing Channing. Kevin holds his tongue, but Mama Tran lets out some kind of enraged animal sound and punches the ever-loving shit out of Crowley. The force of it actually sends him reeling back just a tiny bit and he touches his hand to his face in genuine surprise. "Stay away from my son," seethes Mama Tran. The Winchesters move to protect her, but Crowley reminds them that they'll be thrown out of the auction of they try anything. Dean looks like he doesn't care, so it's up to Sam to be reasonable. "It's not worth it," he says. "Listen to Moose, Squirrel," Crowley says to Dean.
It's just so, so fantastic that Crowley, the King of Hell, gets such glee out of making these tiny insults - possibly even more fantastic than the notion that Crowley watches Bullwinkle cartoons. I like to imagine he has a little Moleskine notebook (because he's old school) into which he jots ideas for new slings and arrows. Then, late at night when he's alone, he reads over his notes and titters at his own brilliance.
Just then, Plutus strides through the warehouse on the way to the auction room. Dean gets a look at him and asks, "What is he, the god of the candy aisle?" The guy's not that fat, although his velour jogging suit isn't doing him any favors. As the gang heads into the auction, someone calls Dean's name. He stops to see a teenaged boy wearing a red and white uniform, complete with baseball cap emblazoned with the words "Wiener Hut." It may be one of the most beautiful things ever seen on this show. "Do I know you?" Dean asks. "No, but I knew Castiel," the boy says. "You're an angel?" Dean asks somewhat incredulously. With the most adorable touch of embarrassment, the boy explains this was the nearest available vessel on such short notice. As to what he's doing at the auction: "We protect the Word of God." Dean scoffs, checks the boy's name tag and says, "Awesome job so far, Alfie." The boy says his name is actually Samandriel, which very nearly sounds like a portmanteau for some kind of weird but potentially amazing Sam/salamander/Castiel romance.
Speaking of whom: Samandriel wants to know what happened to Dean's angel. Dean tells him about killing Dick Roman and ending up in Purgatory. Samandriel asks if Castiel managed to escape with Dean. Dean's steely silence is answer enough. Samandriel looks utterly crestfallen. His sad, sad face under that ridiculous Wiener Hut cap is just perfection. "You know," he begins, "there are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place." But then, he says, took much heart was always Castiel's problem. As Samandriel trudges away, Dean decides it's time for another flashback, even though everyone's waiting for him at the auction.
Purgatory. Castiel washes his hands in a sparklingly clear stream. His wrist still bears the medical ID tag from when he healed Sam's craziness and then went crazy himself. Also, how nice was it of God to put a lovely little stream in the middle of Purgatory? The condemned have a nice place to get a drink and tidy up and maybe do a spot of fly fishing. Castiel looks like a slice of fresh hell, which is to say that he looks pretty good, because he still looks like Misha Collins. He is scruffy and his long-suffering coat look like monsters have been using it as toilet paper, but you can't hide that level of hotness. You just can't. Dean emerges from the clearing and sees him. "Cass!" Castiel doesn't immediately react to the sound of Dean's familiar growl, but glances around as if checking for danger. For a moment, Dean's smile is the brightest thing in all of Purgatory as he grabs Castiel for a hug. Finally, a hug. A full-body, chin-on-the-shoulder, ear-to-ear hug. Alas, it seems a bit one-sided as Castiel's arms remain at his sides. "Damn, it's good to see you," Dean says. He touches Castiel's scruffy cheek with his finger. "Nice peach fuzz." Unlike Dean, Castiel did not bring a grooming kit to Purgatory. Dean introduces Castiel to Benny, who mutters a dutiful "hola" while looking like he'd rather be anywhere else at the moment. Castiel doesn't look very happy, either. "How did you find me?" he asks. "The bloody way," Dean says. "You feeling okay?" he asks. Castiel assures Dean he's perfectly sane, although he allows as how most crazy people think they're sane.
Before Castiel can go rambling on about the nature of sanity, Benny cuts him off: "Why'd you bail on Dean?" Dean's like, "Dude!" Y'all don't have to fight over me! But Benny presses on. "The way I hear it, you two hit Monster Land and Hot Wings here took off." To Dean he says, "I figure he owes you some back story." How long have Benny and Dean been tooling around Purgatory together that they feel so protective of one another? Hot Wings doesn't say anything, so Dean answers for him, saying that they were surrounded and obviously he got jumped by monsters. "No, I ran away," Castiel confesses. Dean goes from defending his angel to simmering with rage. It comes so easily and so quickly because the fear has been in the back of his mind all this time. It didn't take much to bring it to the fore. "You bailed out and, what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cass, every night!" Castiel can't quite look at him. "I know," he says softly. That just fans the flames even more. Castiel tries to explain, but everything he says makes him sound like a coward and traitor. He's an angel in the land of monsters. Everything wants to hunt him, including Leviathans. "I have a price on my head," he says angrily, "and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to - " He stops himself for a moment, calms down and finishes: " - to keep them away from you." Dean's whole face softens as he realizes what Castiel has been doing for him. If ever there was a time for his patented Single Tear of Manly Pain, it would be now, but he keeps himself together. Benny's all for leaving Castiel behind, but Dean tells his angel that they know of a way out. Castiel is reluctant, but then Dean starts talking about how much he needs him and Castiel's eyes grow three times bigger and sadder. He thinks it's too dangerous, but Dean's ready to take on the Leviathans again if he needs to. "Let me bottom-line it for you: I'm not leaving without you." How can Castiel refuse an invitation like that? He can't.
In the present day, Dean finally snaps out of it and joins the auction. Everyone's been patiently waiting for him to wrap up his flashback before getting started. While Beau talks up the upcoming items up for bid, the Winchesters and friends pool their resources. Between the four of them, they come up with a handful of credit cards, two thou in cash and a Costco membership. Crowley, sitting behind Sam, tries to psych him out a little. "Don't know why you're so keen on that hunk of dirt," he says. "So it tells you to blast back a few demons. I'll just make more." Crowley surreptitiously consults his Moleskine: "Can't get rid of all my black-eyed boys... Samantha." Sam smirks at him. "Yeah, we'll see." This exchange makes it sound like Crowley thinks the tablet is only for killing off demons in the same manner that Kevin used when he escaped. Keep that in mind for later.
The auction gets underway. When the first item - the Amulet of Hesperus - goes for five tons of dwarven gold, the gang realizes just how hopelessly outmatched they are. "Plan C?" Sam suggests without much hope. Crowley practically wriggles with delight. Dean makes some excuse about going to the restroom, but he's really going to try to steal the tablet. He follows an auction minion to a locked room, then "accidentally" bumps into him so he can steal the keys. Of course, the room and all its treasures are being guarded by other minions, so Dean has no choice but to abandon his plan.
He returns to the auction just as bidding starts for Thor's hammer. Vili leaps from his seat with his offer: "The finger bone of the frost giant Ymir!" Plutus isn't interested. Vili digs around in his tote and comes up with a bloody paper bag filled with virgin pieces. (Perhaps this is what became of Miss Nosy.) That sweetens the pot just enough for Plutus. "Sold," Beau says. Dean leans over to Sam: "Plan C tanked." Crowley: "Perhaps you should try Plan D for (consults Moleskine) dumbass." The Word of God goes up . Samandriel and Crowley get into a bidding war. Crowley offers billions of dollars. Samandriel offers the Mona Lisa. Crowley counters with the "real" Mona Lisa, which shows her naked. Samandriel bids Vatican City. Crowley offers Alaska, but it has too many Palins for Beau's liking. He then offers the moon - the literal, actual moon - which belongs to Hell. When the Winchesters react with shock, Crowley says simply, "You think a man named Buzz gets to go to the moon without making a deal?" Heh. Alas, not even the moon tempts Plutus, who sits around looking bored while he reads a newspaper. Beau decides to throw in an extra little incentive to whip everyone up into a bidding frenzy. To Mama Tran's dismay, this means including the Lord's Littlest Prophet in the auction.
Kevin vanishes from his seat and reappears chained to the podium to Plutus. Mama Tran offers to fork over everything she owns, but Plutus has no use for her house and 401(k). Desperate, she bids her soul. Plutus is intrigued. Crowley tries to counter with a million souls, but Plutus says it's not about the quantity. "This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has - it's everything," Plutus says. "Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?" The discordant background music crescendos. With his most dramatic flair, Crowley offers up his own soul. Plutus laughs because Crowley doesn't have one of those. He turns to Mama Tran: "Congrats, sweetheart." She cries with relief, but it's a bittersweet victory.
After the auction, she waits with Sam and Dean. They try to let her know what she's in for, living without a soul. Sam, after all, knows from experience. She's utterly terrified, but terribly brave. When Beau comes for her, she asks to have a moment to herself. "Dean, this sucks," Sam says as he and his brother leave the room. Dean is more pragmatic: "You kidding me? We're about to close the Gates of Hell forever. If you ask me, we got off cheap." Oh, Dean. Dean, Dean, Dean. Mama Tran gathers up her courage as best she can and goes to meet her fate. Samandriel approaches her and introduces himself as Alfie the angel. Even on her way to the spiritual gallows, she finds some amusement in his Wiener Hut outfit. "What you did in here was amazing," Samandriel says, his tone that of a reverent fanboy. He promises her that he and his angel friends will protect Kevin, but Mama Tran remembers the last time angels were supposed to watch over Kevin. She opts to leave her baby boy in the care of the Winchesters, a decision which Samandriel accepts without bruised ego.
Awkward fade to the back room. Vili hugs Thor's hammer and coos, "Oh, Mjölnir, I've missed you." When it's finally Mama Tran's time to pay up, Kevin looks only very slightly concerned. He could be making a grocery list in his head. At first I thought this was a sign that something was a little hinky with Kevin, but now I wonder if the actor just didn't know the camera was on him. Plutus holds his hands out to Mama Tran. When she reaches for him, her sleeve rides up a bit, showing the burn mark on her arm where her tattoo used to be. Dean notices this at once and grabs her. "Hello, boys," she says in Crowley's voice. Cheesy! Her eyes go red and she flings Sam and Dean across the room. Plutus gapes. "You can't! My warding spells," he says. "Your Girl Friday showed me a few loopholes," Mama Tran says. She's back to her regular voice, but because Lauren Tom is an amazing voice actor, she puts just a slightly different inflection to it. You can hear the Crowley in her. A quick flashback shows Beau burning off her tattoo sometime between the end of her chat with Samandriel and this scene. (Somehow, even though she was screaming quite a bit, the Winchesters didn't hear her.) Beau, having been bought off with promises of his own tropical island, runs his boss through with a wooden stake. Even gods can't find good help these days. Mama Crowley grabs the exit-wound end of the weapon, yanks it the rest of the way through and then hurls it into an auction minion, who has absolutely the most perfect reaction to finding a stake suddenly protruding from his heart.
Mama Crowley admires her handiwork. "Can't do all my tricks, but I can do enough," she says. So being in a human body weakens him? The Winchesters should remember that for later. She reaches for the tablet. Kevin finally snaps out of his boredom and shrieks, "Get out of her!" Dean grabs his demon knife out of the contraband box. Sam tackles Mama Crowley to the floor. Then, for some reason, he lets her back up. "Getting in touch with your feminine side, Crowley?" Dean snarks. Crowley doesn't have anything in the Moleskine for that, so she just lamely says, "Something like that." Dean and Sam stand between Mama Crowley and Kevin, but she makes a break for it instead of trying to nab Kevin. Dean chases after her. Beau grabs a gun from somewhere and starts shooting in Sam and Kevin's general direction. For a moment, Sam finds himself hiding behind an upturned table with Vili. Sam eyes Mjölnir, which Vili is still hugging. Beau has Kevin in his sights. Suddenly, Sam pops up behind Beau and thacks him upside the head with Thor's hammer. The air crackles with electricity. Sam stands there panting in the afterglow of all that power. Vili, who apparently loaned Mjölnir to Sam willingly, now wants it back. Sam starts to hand it over, then remembers those bloody virgin bits and thwacks Vili, too. He drops the hammer to the floor where it will probably be forgotten for no logical reason.
Meanwhile, Dean catches up to Mama Crowley and grabs her with such force that the tablet goes flying from her hands. It slides across the floor. Dean has the demon knife up to Mama Crowley's throat. Just when it looks like Dean's going to overpower her and send Crowley to oblivion, Kevin comes running into the room. It distracts Dean just enough that Mama Crowley is able to shove Dean away. She throws back her head and vomits up a plume of red smoke. The smoke escapes through the nearest door. A moment later, Crowley walks back through the same door, once more in his regular body. He dusts off his hands and picks up the Word of God. "Good luck closing the gates to Hell without this," he says. So he does know what the tablet is really for. Did he just guess? Mama Tran sits slumped against the wall, alive but unable to speak. For some reason, he doesn't grab Kevin right then and there. Instead, he offers this bit of unsolicited advice: "Run... run far and run fast, because the Winchesters have a habit of using people up and then watching them die bloody." Yeah, they like to possess people and then leave them as unresponsive as a rutabaga. Oh, wait, that's you, little Mister King of Hell. But the episode needed a guilt bridge for the last scene and this is it. Dean seethes as he watches Crowley walk off with their prize.
Denouement. They've gotten Mama Tran into a chair, but she just stares off into space. Maybe she's in a vegetative state. Maybe she's having flashbacks. Dean tries to sound encouraging about Mama Tran's future, but Kevin's not really hearing him. "You tried to kill her," he says. He asks to have a moment alone with his mom. The Winchesters oblige and leave the room so they can have their own little moment. Sam acts all disturbed about Dean's apparent willingness to kill Mama Tran because this show really needs to make up its collective mind about whether or not human hosts are acceptable collateral damage. You can't shove a demon back into a human body for the purpose of killing that demon, regard the human's death as necessary in the scene and then later act like the exact same thing is wrong when someone else does it. Sam himself stabbed the mailman through the heart to kill a demon. Surely he's somebody's father or son, no different from Mama Tran except that the Winchesters didn't have a bond with that poor schmuck. Either all meat suits are fair game or none of them are. They're trying to show that Dean is different since Purgatory, and that he's different from Sam, and that gets muddled when both characters are doing the same things. But back to the recap: Dean's only regret is that he didn't kill Crowley when he had the chance. Sam looks so, so sad.
When the brothers go back to check on the Trans, they find the room empty. Dean picks up a note left behind on Kevin's chair. Kevin has taken his mother and gone on the lam. Sam worries about Crowley finding them. "What's that kid thinking?" he wonders. Dean reads further along in the note for the answer: "He thinks people I don't need anymore end up dead." There's the other side of the guilt bridge and this is where it leads: Dean remembers the last time he saw Castiel, holding onto someone's arm, probably his own, as the sleeve looks like leather. He remembers Castiel losing his grip as he tries to climb up a rocky hillside. Castiel calls his name again and again, eyes wide and pleading. It's on this tantalizingly terrible image that the episode ends. If there's one thing thus far that this season has managed to do better than the last, it's to make the episode seem too far away.
Tippi Blevins has been possessed by a recapping demon. Send holy water to b_tippi@yahoo.com, or chant spells at her on Twitter: @TippiB.