In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Recaplet for healthy people who prefer not to dwell: Show Barnes is back! Castiel is still pretty! Dean's back is naked! He and Sam cry pretty, pretty tears! The end!
Recaplet for people who feel the need to flog and punish themselves with the all the SUCK that was this episode: Ugh. Man, I've watched it twice already (the things I do for my dear friend Demian – okay, and for a buck) and there's no summing it up, without thinking about it, and I really don't want to think about it. Why can't you people be satisfied with the above recapletette? Fine. Torture yourselves, and me. But don't be surprised if you end up feeling like you spent the night on Alastair's rack.
We pick up where we left off after last week's actual episode of Supernatural. The angels want to kill young Angel-Radio Anna and the demons want to save her. Sam, Dean and Ruby face off with Castiel and Uriel, but they're clearly outmatched. Ruby gets smacked around. Dean gets smacked around. Sammy gets two fingers to the forehead. Anna does a blood spell which blasts the angels out of the building. She doesn't know how she knew it. It just came to her.
The boys go to Bobby's, but he's not there, because he's a very smart man who knew to avoid this hot mess of an episode. They stow Anna in the cast iron safe room (coated with salt which ought to be corroding it, but let's forget about that). They leave the door to it open, which seems to negate the point of the safe room, and leave Ruby to guard Anna, even though she can't go in the room should Anna require any assistance, on account of Ruby BEING A DEMON AND ALL. Yeah. No. Whatever. Ruby tosses in a hex bag that will help hide Anna from angels and demons alike.
After finding information that indicates Anna had psychiatric problems as a toddler (which she can't remember), Dean brings the now eyeless Show Barnes to Bobby's. She grabs Sam's ass, because she has priorities, then hypnotizes Anna, because that's psychic, right? Anna has the usual traumatic experience while she's under and when she wakes, we learn she was an angel. She wanted to feel, or whatever, so she cut her own grace out of her (don't try to understand it; it will hurt less) cast it down, and fell like a comet to... Ohio. Sam does some astronomical research and figures Anna's grace landed in neighboring Kentucky, because there's a miraculous oak tree there. (I SWEAR I AM NOT SUBSTITUTING FAN FIC FOR THIS RECAPLET.) Anna can tell her grace was there, but now it's not. At some point she and Dean have the sex, but there's no passion leading up to it, so it turns out more like a Supernatural/Titanic crossover AU song fic, set to Bad Company's, "Are You Ready For Love."
Uriel appears to Dean in a dream, teases him about having a slice of Angel Food Cake, and reveals he wears Anna's grace in an amulet around his neck. (No, still not writing fan fic, here.) He issues vague threats to Dean, and makes noise about Dean caving to threats if they hit his soft spot (which we all know is 6 feet 13 inches tall and goes by the name "Sammy").
After Ruby compares being stuck between the forces of Heaven and Hell with being stuck between Godzilla and Mothra, Sam gets ideas. No, not sexy ones. Ruby summons Alastair, who will now be played by the poor man's Marlon Brando. Alastair tortures her in a gratuitous scene which makes me feel bad for Ms. Cortese. Ruby makes a deal with him. She'll lead him to Anna, if he'll spare her, Sam and Dean. Meanwhile, Dean leads Castiel and Uriel to Anna, on the condition that they'll spare Sam. But it's all a set-up, so that they can get the angels and demons fighting, and Anna can snatch back her grace -- which she does. She smashes the amulet. The grace fills her up, and kills all the demons in the room, except Ruby, which makes no sense. Uriel tells Dean, "This isn't over," and then he and Castiel disappear, making it sort of... over.
The episode ends with a scene way better than it deserves. Sam and Dean are alone, drinking beers, and Dean tells Sam all about Hell. Four months on earth equals 40 years in Hell. Every day, Alastair chopped him up into bitty pieces until there was nothing left, and every night he told Dean he would not relent until Dean agreed to give the same treatment to other suffering souls. Dean resisted for 30 years, before he gave in and turned torturer. Dean and Sam cry, and Dean wishes he couldn't feel anything. He should totally watch this episode!
Supernatural will be back with all new episodes beginning January 15, 2009. Let's all try to forget about this one between now and then.
[On the other hand, if this episode was right up your alley, I highly recommend reading some Hellblazer or Preacher comics. - Zach]
Want more? The full recap starts right below!There's no sense denying it. I love you. I love Dean, Sam and Metallicar; Bobby, Castiel, that nasty curmudgeon Uriel, and...I even like Ruby now, and will admit it right here in black and white. Show, I really thought we had something between us. You've been so good to me while Demian's been recovering from Lollipop Disease. And I think I've been pretty good to you, too. I mean I've given you three A grades; two A- grades; a B+; a B; and a B-. I even admitted my pity right here on Television Without.... So my point, and I do have one is...
Why'd you have to go and do... this? Why would you? How could you? I'll admit it -- during these idyllic weeks, sure there were times I fantasized about getting an episode worthy of the full TWoP treatment, but I never wanted... this. It's not like you're Baywatch Nights. I want you to thrive. I want you to succeed. I root for you, not for your demise.
And Demian's readers, who have been so patient with and encouraging of me -- they love you, too. You're not Charmed or Seventh Heaven, to them. They don't read TWoP's Supernatural recaps as if they were salivating for another sound beat-down of a show that should have gone off the air years prior. They read our recaps because they can't get enough of this story and these characters. Now don't misunderstand me -- they love some pitiless mockery as well as any other TWoP reader -- but they want it to come from a place of love -- much like the mockery between the Brothers Winchester, themselves. Your fans are always in your corner, hoping you'll never deserve a sound thrashing, but...
This time? You do. And yet, I've flat-out deleted my first umpteenth attempts to recap this episode, because I take no joy in this. There's so much more to say, but perhaps the best way to say it, is in the format with which we're all familiar. So, and without further ado, please know this hurts me, more than it will hurt you. (Oh my word, you're making me stress-rhyme, you turd.)
THEN! It's quite a fierce and terrible site, as Brunette Lilith's eyes go all milky white. Blonde Lilith the Second gives Deano a hug, back when this recapper felt oh so smug. Angel-Radio Anna tells all to her shrink, which *so* will not help her get out of the clink. It seems that Lilith is breaking seals hither and yon -- to free Lucifer, who's bored in Hell without John. Anna knocks out an orderly via telekinesis, then escapes the nuthatch, before she inspires a thesis. Ruby tells Dean and Sam about the demons and Anna. The boys meet Show Barnes, whose sass sustains us like manna. She invokes Castiel -- a terrible mistake. For one unbidden look is all it does take. When she won't be warned off, he blinds her with séance. A punishment too harsh for her lack of obeisance. Angel-Radio Anna recounts Dean's recent sad story, 'though he's all too familiar with that tale oh so sorry. We meet a specialist angel -- he's called Uriel. He comes straight from Heaven, but is meaner than Hell. Alastair greets his long lost pal, Dean. Perhaps it's time for our boy to come clean. Anna warns, "They're coming," as some force does advance. Our Winchesters assume a warrior's stance. With Ruby they're ready to face down all Hell, but are met by dear Cas and that crank, Uriel. Sam asks for their help, 'cause he's that kind of guy, but Castiel informs him that Anna must die.
NOW! We pick up where we left off after last week's actual episode of Supernatural. The angels want to kill young Angel-Radio Anna and the demons want to save her, which oddly enough makes more sense than most of this plot. Sam and Dean plead for her life, but the angels will cede no ground. When Dean tells them they're heartless sons of bitches, Castiel says, "As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Sammy, for one, is not going to let Castiel treat a conjunction like an entire sentence. He's a Stanford boy, after all. When he argues that Anna is an innocent girl, Castiel says, "She's a maaaaaaaaaaaan, baybee!" or possibly, "She is far from innocent."
Uriel explains to Sam that this means, "She's worse than this abomination you've been screwing," and a cheer goes up from that segment of the fandom who will not tolerate the boys getting any trim. Those fans who like the sex, but hate the sex-ee, join the rally, while me and mine wonder if anyone else made it all the way through Buffy the Vampire Slayer's season six (or two, for that matter). Uriel has had enough (like always). He says, "Give us the girl."
Dean replies, "Sorry. Get yourselves another one. Try JDate," which I can only parse as the Jewish Dating Service of the same name (and Google seems to agree), which pleases me to no end.
Uriel says, "Who's going to stop us -- you two, or this demon whore?" He then sends Ruby flying across Casa Ramshackle and into a window, which shatters upon impact. Uriel picks her up and throttles her, and looks like he's about to exorcise her with his own Pimp Hand of Ipecac. Dean attacks him from behind (no, don't go there), so Uriel turns his attention to Dean, and administers the beating he's been dying to deliver. Castiel advances on Sammy, who begs him to stop. Without even acknowledging him, Castiel knocks Sam out with two fingers to the forehead, er... so why didn't he do that to both boys in the first place, then simply take Anna and go? This makes no sense, Show. As Castiel approaches Anna's hiding place, he and Uriel light up like they're getting the Lilith treatment, and seem to get sucked up and out -- right through the roof and wall (respectively) of Casa Ramshackle. Dean catches his breath, rights himself with some obvious pain and helps up Ruby, who has been looking worriedly at Sam's unconscious form. If you listen, you can hear some of the people in the forum scream in agony.
Sam comes to, and Ruby kneels to minister to him (not like that) as Dean goes to check on Anna. He opens the bathroom door to find her leaning on the blood-soaked vanity. On the mirror she has painted mystical symbols in blood -- her own. She's bleeding from the wrists and seems to be struggling to stay conscious. Dean asks if she killed the angels. She says she only sent them away, as Sam and Ruby enter behind Dean. Dean asks how she did it. I'm going to go out on a limb, Deano, and guess she used a blood spell. Anna regards her finger-painting on the mirror and says she doesn't know how she did it; she just did it. And again I say blood spell. I'm just sayin'... The title card flaps its way across the screen on bat-like angel wings, and I'm three minutes closer to the end of this. (Only three? sob).
Dean and Sam discuss their pickle (STOP IT! -- I mean the pickle they're in). Sam thinks Anna is getting more interesting by the second. So Sam, you're saying she stands in stark contrast to this episode, overall? The boys agree the angels' interest in taking her out is probably bigger than the Angel-Radio thing. Dean tells Sam to figure out what's going on with her. When Sam asks what he's going to do, Dean replies, "Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield..." Don't think you can cute your way out of this mess, Dean. "But sooner or later they're going to be back. We've got to get ourselves safe, now."
Daytime at Bobby's Auto Salvage Yard and Victorian Mansion that has too many rooms to count, but none suitable to serve as a guest room: The camera pans down from the panic room's Devil's Trap/ventilation system to Bobby's Bo Derek poster, as Dean tells Anna, "Iron walls drenched in salt." Yeah, I know. "Demons can't even touch the joint."
Ruby says, "Which I find racist, by the way." Heh. Dean tells her to write her Congressman, but Ruby ignores that and tosses him hex bags. And if she can do that, how is this safe room of any use. I mean, generally speaking, what's to prevent a demon from -- oh say -- throwing a grenade (or something else that will breach the walls or kill the occupants) down the ventilation system. Ruby tells Dean those hex bags are "Extra crunchy. They'll hide us from angels, demons -- all comers."
Dean says, "Thanks Ruby." She strokes out from the shock of it all, and dies (I shouldn't tease the Ruby haters like that), or possibly, she smiles at him with her eyes until he can no longer hold her gaze. He gives a hex bag to Anna and asks her what's playing on W-A-N-G. She reports radio silence, which any parent can tell you is far more chilling than chatter. She asks Dean if they're scared. He and Ruby share a solemn look, then with a charming smile, he lies like the LYING LIAR WHO LIES that he is, and tells Anna, "Nah." Just then, Sam summons Dean from upstairs. On his way to heeding his brother's call, Dean tells Ruby to keep an eye on Anna. Mind you, Anna is ensconced in the panic room Ruby can't enter -- the very same panic room Ruby just noted she cannot enter -- so let's hope she screams for help good and loud, because that's about all she'll be able to do, should Anna require assistance of some kind. Oh, and then Dean leaves the panic room door open, which seems to weaken its concept, somehow. I mean, why does it need walls and a roof, then? Bobby could have saved a lot of time and effort just laying an iron circle on the floor, if you're going to leave it wide open anyhow, Show.
Upstairs, Dean's first words to Sam are, "How's the car?" which is darling, but only serves to remind me I'm watching Supernatural, when I've been trying to pretend I'm watching some Sci-Fi channel pilot that never made it past development.
Sam says, "I've got her. She's fine. Where's Bobby?"
Also darling.Dean says, "Uh...the Domincan. He says we break anything -- we buy it." Hee. Bobby's so smart that he fled the country in order to avoid this stink bomb. Sam asks if he's working a job. Dean says, "God I hope so, otherwise he's at Hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap." Okay, Dean, that was funny, but hello to the mental imagery. Make it stop. Make it stop.
Sam winces along with me. "Now that's seared in my brain." I know, honey. Mine, too, and the only image that can replace it for even a moment is a similar image of the Scrubs' character, The Todd -- also wearing a banana hammock. His body is better, but the image is no more pleasing to me. I might have to take a brief break and look at your lovely shoulders, just to...um...cleanse the palate.
Five hours later... I feel so refreshed. Sam tells Dean he found a report indicating Anna has a psychiatric history dating back to her toddlerhood. When she was two and a half years old, she'd get hysterical when her father was around. She was convinced he wasn't her real father. Dean says, "Who was -- the plumber, hmm? A little...snake in the pipes?"
Sam says, "Dude, you're confusing reality with porn, again." Nice one, Sammy. Dean can't argue that. Sam adds that Anna didn't say who her real father allegedly was. "She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad -- very mad -- like wanted-to-kill-her mad." Sam says she got treatment, got better and "grew up normal."
Dean says, "'Til now. So what's she hiding?"
Anna doesn't give Sam a chance to answer. "Why don't you just ask me to my face."
Dean turns to Ruby. "Nice job watching her."
Ruby's exasperated, and I can't blame her. "I'm watching her."
Ever the diplomat, Sam acknowledges Anna's point and asks if there's anything she wants to tell them -- like why the angels would indicate she was guilty of something. Anna would give anything to know -- her life is in shambles; her parents are dead. Sam says, "Okay, then let's find out."
Anna is game but skeptical. "How?"
It's still daytime, as Metallicar enters through the outer gates of Bobby's Auto Salvage Yard and Victorian Mansion that has too many rooms to count, but none suitable to serve as a guest room. Dean gingerly leads a blind, but still sassy Show Barnes down the cellar steps, to the panic room. Sam greets her, "Pamela!"
Show Barnes reaches out to him. "Sam?"
He approaches. "It's me, Sam."
"Sam, is that you?" She reaches out to read his features by touch. Her fingers gently slide down and off his face, as she's asks, "Know how I can tell?" Sam smiles, and we hear a loud smack. "That perky little ass of yours! You could bounce a nickel off that thing." Although she and Dean both smirk, I can't help but imagine Show Barnes telling him, "And that's the actual wording of that expression, dumbass; get it right time." And yes, I acknowledge the fact that Dean's bungling of that line has been bothering me for thirteen months says way more about me than it does about Show. I wonder if Dean got the same welcome when he went to get Pamela. For her sake, I hope he did. I think I'm devoting so much time to this scene because it's one of the few I enjoyed, but I'll try not to dwell too long. Barnes tells Sam, "Of course I know it's you, grumpy, the same way I know that's a demon." She nods towards Ruby. "And that poor girl's Anna." She nods in Anna's direction, then turns back towards Sam. "And that you've been eyeing my rack." On my first watch-through, I only noticed Sam's embarrassment, but on subsequent viewings, I noticed how great Genevieve is in the back ground. She looks down and away, then straightens up, tilts her head, then stares straight at Pamela throughout this flirtatious exchange, but it's quite subtle. She never tries to hog the spotlight. Good job, Gen. Anyhow, Sam sputters at Barnes' observation. She tells him not to sweat it. "I've still got more senses than most." I'm pretty sure Dean would like to keep her around almost as much as I would.
She then introduces herself to Anna and says she's glad to help. In the background, Ruby crosses her arms in a defensive posture, just as Anna uncrosses hers. Anna says it's nice of her to help, but Show Barnes says, "Not really. Any chance I get to dick over an angel? I'm taking it." Anna wants to know why, so Show Barnes lifts her sunglasses to reveal Lilith-like opalescent eyes. Anna struggles not to recoil. Pamela says, "Demon-y, I know, but they're just plastic. It's good for business. Makes me look extra psychic, don't you think?" And where would one get those, exactly?
In the panic room, Show Barnes hypnotizes Anna, because that's psychic, right? She starts by asking Anna how she could hear the angels and how she worked the blood spell. Although hypnotized, Anna doesn't know. Show Barnes alters her approach and asks Anna her father's name. Anna says it's Rich Milton, so Pamela has her look back to her childhood. Anna resists. Barnes persists with questions about Anna'a real dad and why he might be angry. Anna's breath quickens. She's distressed to the point of torment. She arches her back and screams, "No! He's going to kill me!" The door the panic room slams shut in Ruby's face. The lights flicker, then shatter in a shower of sparks. Show Barnes can't calm her down. Dean goes to Anna, but she throws him across the room with one arm. Finally, Show Barnes brings her to. She rubs Anna's forehead and calls her name, asking if she's all right. Anna sits up and says, "Thank you, Pamela. That helped a lot. I remember, now."
Sam says, "Remember what?"
Anna says, "Who I am."
Dean is stumped. "I'll bite. Who are you?"
Anna says, "I'm an angel." Show Barnes' face turns to stone. Upstairs, Anna tells everyone not to be afraid -- she's not like the others.
Ruby says, "I don't find that very reassuring." Neither does Show Barnes.
Anna explains that she was Castiel and Uriel's boss (after Dean allows some latent sexism to lead him to conclude the opposite). She's sure she has a death sentence on her head, because she chose to fall to earth. The painful experience is one Anna equates with cutting out one's own kidney with a butter knife. So it's like this episode, then? She chose to rip out her grace -- which she explains is energy -- and yet she can rip it out. What? "Hacked it out, and fell. My mother Amy couldn't get pregnant. Always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was." I imagine that was especially true when (a) you started screaming to anyone who would listen that Rich Milton was not your real dad, and (b) when you started flipping out about Lilith, 66 seals, the apocalypse, and freeing Lucifer, and (c) when she and Rich were killed by a demon who was hunting you down. Anyhow, Anna explains that the longer she was human, the more she forgot about her heavenly origins.
Ruby paces in the background. "I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are."
Anna agrees. "Ruby's right. Heaven wants me dead."
Ruby lets out a bitter laugh. "And Hell just...wants her. A flesh and blood angel that you can question and torture -- that bleeds." Dean's eyes dart around the room, as Ruby continues, "Sister, you're the Stanley Cup, and sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're going to find you." Come on, Kripke. Either finish the hockey metaphor or don't start it in the first place.
Anna says, "I know," but to Ruby, not Kripke. That's why she's going to retrieve her grace. Dean makes a bad half analogy about bong hits, Shazam and Roma Downey, then asks Anna where her grace is. She says, "I lost track. I was falling about 10,000 miles per hour, at the time."
Sam says, "You mean falling like...literally?" She does. He asks, "Like the way a human eye can see -- like a comet, or maybe a meteor?" Yep, or my estimation of this episode, for instance. After doing some astronomical research, Sam exposits that in March of '85, a meteorite vanished in the night sky over northwestern Ohio. It was sited nine months before Anna was born," oh, so she was a Christmas baby, Show? Subtle. "And she was born in that part of Ohio." Away in a manger, no crib for her bed....
Ruby raises her eyebrows. "You're pretty buff for a nerd." Thank you, fair Ruby, for bringing my mind back to the pretty. Anyhow, Sam thinks Anna was that meteor, and that another meteor, which fell over neighboring Kentucky at the same time, may well be her grace. Ruby's hardly encouraged that the search for Anna's grace has been narrowed down no more keenly than an entire state. She then apologizes for bringing this mess upon him. Sam says they'll muddle through, but Ruby is adamant that they stay out of it. "You do not want to get between these two armies. It's like Godzilla and Mothra." Heh. She'd be willing to dump Anna and run, but Sam won't hear of it. It's not even the angels who scare her most. It's Alastair, who she explains is practically Hell's Grand Inquisitor, "Picasso with a razor." She says Sam should pull him out and send him back to Hell, if he weren't getting so out of shape. "Your abilities -- you're getting flabby." When Sam asks her how he can tone up, she says, "You know how. You know what you gotta do."
Sam looks away from her. "No, I'm not doing that any more?" What Sam, what? No more Pimp Hand of Ipecac on lesser demons? No more bumping uglies with Ruby? No more drinking the blood of newborn babies. What? What? What?
Whatever it is, he's not willing, so Ruby cautions him to pray that, "Anna gets her groove back, or we're all dead."
Anna stands in the starlit salvage yard, alone. That's right. This girl who wasn't allowed to remain in the panic room without a guard is now outside. Alone. At night. That's how little care Kripke is paying to the continuity in his own episode. Dean returns from dropping off Show Barnes and conveys her excuses to Anna, but come on, we know the score. Girlfriend's psychic and she has no intention of getting the stank of the rest of this episode all over her, 'cause she's smart like that, and besides, her sense of smell is now heightened, with the blindness and all. Dean asks Anna why the angels want him -- why they saved him. She doesn't know. The angels haven't talked about it, and it happened long after she fell. This leads Dean to ask why she would choose to fall -- why she'd want to be a human. She offers up concepts like loyalty, forgiveness, love. Dean counters with pain. Anna says, "Chocolate cake."
Dean says, "Guilt."
Anna says, "Sex."
Dean says, "Sure," and they hit Baby's backseat as quickly as you can cue up Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love," either because...there are no less obvious but still sexually charged songs from the Winchester's definitive Mullet Rock collection, or because Kripke plucked a badfic author from obscurity, and allowed her to assume his name.
Let me back up. I jumped way ahead, in my effort to get through this as quickly as possible, but in doing so, I missed the one morsel of connection between Dean and Anna that Show bothered to wave under our noses. Anna explains to Dean that she chose to fall because she wanted to experience emotion -- even the bad stuff. That she'd need to leave angelhood behind to do so makes not one lick of sense. Granted, Castiel is clearly alien and ethereal, but Uriel has no problem feeling and expressing emotion, and Anna's desire to feel can be nothing other than a feeling -- or two: dissatisfaction and longing. Dean thinks feelings are overrated and can't understand why Anna thinks being human is better than being an angel. "You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves, or God, or anything." Oh, Dean, save your pretty man-pain for an episode worthy of it.
Anna compares angelhood to being a marble statue. "Cold. No choice. Only obedience." I call b.s., Anna. You had a choice. Had you not -- had you not been able to exercise free will -- you wouldn't have been able to cut out (blergh) your grace kidney. You didn't obey; you rebelled. Tsk. She's not listening to me; she just keeps talking to Dean (not that I blame her, there). "Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God -- seen his face? Four angels. Four. I'm not one of them." She says the rest of them have to take it on faith that there is a God, and they're killed if they don't have that faith." And? Here comes our morsel. "I was stationed on earth two-thousand years. Just watching. Silent, invisible, out on the road, sick for home -- waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand, so don't tell me that..." her voice trails off as Dean laughs. "What is so funny?"
Dean rubs his face and tries to settle down. "Nothing, sorry, it's just...I can relate." They consider one another for a moment, and just as Dean raises his eyebrows in a how you doin' sort of way, they're interrupted by Sam. I bet as an angel, Anna didn't have a younger sibling totally cramping her style. Oh wait, I forgot about Castiel.
Inside, Sam tells the gang about a miracle in Union, Kentucky. In '85, there was an empty field outside town, and within the space of six months, a full grown oak sprang up overnight, and it appeared to be a century old. Anna thinks this has to potential to be where her grace kidney landed. Dean says, "So grace Ground Zero? It's not destruction; it's..."
Anna finishes for him, "Pure creation."
Or piss. Which comes from kidneys, and can be cut out with butter knives.We get a shot of Metallicar driving down a beautifully wet road. Inside her, Dean drives; Sam rides shotgun; and Ruby and Anna share the backseat. Dean chuckles about a demon and an angel sharing that backseat, comparing it to the set up to a bad joke, or a Penthouse forum letter. Sam says, "Dude. Reality. Porn." Dean scoffs at any of this being reality. If this is porn, I don't want to see the rest of it, thanks. Baby's motor hums as if she too is trying to get through this as quickly as possible. I suspect she doesn't care for either of her new passengers, who probably haven't taken the time to learn the rules.
Daytime in Union, Kentucky: Sunbeams stream through Anna's Grace Kidney Tree which Dean declares beautiful. Anna can tell it's where her grace kidney touched down. She's not anxious to take it back, but she knows she has to. Sam asks her what they're looking for. Anna stretches out her hand to touch the tree trunk, and her face falls. "It doesn't matter. It's not here; not any more. Someone took it."
At Casa Ramshackle, or perhaps a barn, when Dean suggests they head back to the panic room, Ruby bickers with him about how futile that is, and I get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach, because I think Ruby and Dean have more chemistry than Ruby and Sam, and I might as well go the full nine yards and admit I think Sam and Anna have had more chemistry throughout these last two episodes than Dean and Anna. There. Now I feel better. Sam intervenes in their argument, so Ruby points out what he and Dean seem to refuse to accept -- that Anna can't help them, and they can't fight Heaven and Hell both. Anna interrupts. "Guys. The angels are talking again." She looks as far away as she did in the hospital. "It's weird, like a recording -- a loop. It says, 'Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or...'"
Dean doesn't move. "Or what?"
She comes back to the present and looks straight at Dean. "'Or we hurl him back to damnation'."
Dean's terrified -- stunned into silence. Sam asks if there's any weapon that works on an angel. Dean cocks his head and narrows his eyes in his brother's direction. Anna says, "To what? To kill them?" Sam nods uneasily, but the look in his eyes is one of steely resolve. Anna says, "Nothing we could get to -- not right now." Dean stops this line of discussion and suggests they call Bobby and get him back home. Sam wonders what he can tell them that they don't already know. Dean doesn't know, so he states the obvious -- that they have to think of something. Gee, ya think?
Outside in the salvage yard, Dean does some research by a bug light, or something. Kripke's not paying attention to detail so why should I? Anna approaches and they make small talk. She then thanks him for everything they've done to help her. Dean says, "Let's can the 'Thanks for trying' speech. Participation trophies suck ass," which is why I'm being so hard on you, Eric. You can do better and we both know it -- this stunning season is my witness.
Anna says maybe she doesn't deserve to be saved. "I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our Murder One, and I knew it. Maybe I've got to pay." Personally, I don't think their falls are comparable. Unless/until the writers manage to work it into canon that God himself has ordered Anna's punishment (capital or otherwise), I'm reading this story as if Castiel and Uriel have some autonomy on how they handle issues, and Anna's making some pessimistic assumptions. I mean, this is the same God who ordered Dean Winchester's rescue from Hell, right? This is the same God who told the angels to follow Dean's orders regarding Sam-Hain-town. I'm crediting that God with some semblance of mercy, unless or until it's proven otherwise.
Dean shrugs off Anna's self-criticism by noting we've all done things for which we have to pay (except for the guys running AIG). Anna comes closer to him, and sits before him, so we can get the rest of the tiny sliver of connection Kripke will allow us. She tells him she knows from listening to W-A-N-G what he did in Hell. Dean's eyes grow moist, and he looks heavenward, as if to stop the tears. Anna reaches out to touch his face, just when he expects her to recoil. He flinches, but her touch is soft. She looks him straight in the eyes. "It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself."
He looks down. The words come hard for him. "Anna, I don't w-w-wanna...uh...I don't...wanna..." His voice drops to a whisper. "I can't talk about that." Anna understands, but reminds him that once he can -- he has people who want to help and that he's not alone. As Dean considers her words, she stands before him, rises to her tip toes, and kisses him. Dean is surprised. "What was that for?" Anna mutters about it being their last night on earth, and looks at him expectantly. Effortlessly, Dean slides his mask back into place. "You're stealing my best line."
And now they really do hit Baby's backseat as quickly as you can cue up Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love." And it's still either because...there are no less obvious sexually charged songs from the Winchester's definitive Mullet Rock collection, or Kripke plucked a badfic author from obscurity, and allowed -- nay -- forced her to write this teleplay under his name.
You're going to make me recap the sex, aren't you? Okay, well, it's pretty, it's just dumb, because it is shot as if two people who are deeply in love are coming together for the first time, but because of Anna and Dean's scant connection -- unknowable father syndrome -- it just leaves me feeling cold. Did it seem empty to you, too? Here we go. Bad Company. La la la. Walking down this rocky road.. Dean leans over Anna and kisses her. He lifts his upper body and removes the amulet Sam gave to him when they were kids, and if this were a better episode, I'd wonder at the significance, but it is what it is, so I suspect it just kept hitting the poor actress in the face, or something.
As he does this, Anna unbuttons her blouse, so Dean removes his T-shirt, and moves back down to continue their kiss. Ah, and there's a shot of Ackles' bare, moonlit back, which kept me from giving this episode an F. He's not quite as cut as Padalecki, but he's every bit as beautiful. He removes Anna's pants and in a surprising bit of continuity, we see a bandage on her arm, covering the self-inflicted wound she...er...inflicted upon herself while performing the blood spell. People in the forums have complained that Anna wears her bra during the sex scene, but Sam and I tell them they're confusing porn with the CW, although we admit that's an understandable mistake. Suddenly, Anna's on top. Okay. Whatever. The back window is all fogged up -- which is a fortunate side-effect I suppose, if you have to have sex in a car. There's some pretty filmmaking, here. Dean's knuckles are still raw from fighting. And in the most emotionally resonant moment in the entire scene, Anna places her hand upon Castiel's handprint which may brand Dean's arm for the rest of his second life. Things are getting hot and heavy enough now that Baby must have kicked the cameraman out. Perhaps that's why he makes like he's James Cameron, and forces us to endure an exterior shot of Anna's hand clearing a swath from the fogged up rear windshield, as if she's Rose to Dean's Jack. Kripke, are you sure this is the episode in which you ought to be calling to mind one of the great man-made disasters of the past century? I'm just sayin'...
Inside um...Casa Ramshackle? The cellar of Bobby's Victorian Mansion? A random barn? Who knows or cares? Anyhow, inside some rustic place, Ruby, with -- oh there's no other way to put this -- with love in her eyes -- watches Sam as he sleeps with his head on an open book. He's illuminated only by the light of his lantern. Outside, she takes one of her hex bags, sets it afire, and lets it drop to the ground. Alastair appears behind her and says hello, and I'm excited for a fleeting moment, until I hear the atrocious Brando accent he's adopted for this episode. I do not remember that from part one. Sure he was a bit fey and chewed some scenery, but he was enjoyable. Now listening to him makes me want to get drunk on Chianti and stuff myself with too much Manicotti -- with the TV set to "mute." Gahhhhhhhhhhh. He reminds her he has her knife, but she tells him to keep it, probably because it's no longer The Knife that Can Kill Anything (And Actually Does). She tries to cut a deal with him -- she'll give him Anna, in exchange for freedom for her, Sam and Dean. Alastair throws some verbal misogyny at her, because...er...chastity is highly prized by demonkind? This is such a mess. If you're still reading and you liked this episode, I'm so sorry. I hope I'm managing to entertain you in some way. If you're reading and you hated this episode, I'm right there with you, and am still very, very sorry -- for all of us, and for our show, which has been having such an awesome season.
Alastair pretends to listen to Ruby's bargain until two of his minions pop up behind her and take her by surprise. He says, "Let me make you a counter offer," and I'm wondering why he and/or Kripke didn't go whole hog and have him say he was going to make her an offer she can't refuse. Hang a lantern on it, I say. There's one right by Sammy's head. Alastair runs the very tip of Ruby's knife down her soft cheek and we're...
Back in that barn, or wherever. Dean enters to be welcomed by Uriel's cheery greeting. "Look at that. It's so cute when monkeys wear clothes." Hee. Dean is pretty sure he's dreaming and Uriel confirms that's the only way they could chat since they're, "Hiding like cowards." Dean makes a crack about seeing Uriel off leash and wonders where his boss is. Uriel looks up and smiles. "Castiel? Oh he's uh...he's not here. You see, he has this weakness. He likes you." WHICH MAY I POINT OUT IS A FEELING -- FELT BY AN ANGEL, I'M JUST SAYING, SHOW! Blah blah blah. Glare glare glare. Time's up. The angels want the girl. Dean bluffs that she has her grace back, now. Like a Batman villain, Uriel reveals he wears Anna's grace in a vial around his neck. Oh Kripke, you should have given the poor badfic writer credit, or perhaps -- she requested to remain anonymous. Blah blah blah. Give her back her grace. Blah blah blah. She committed a serious crime. Blah blah blah. Dean likes being a pain in the pooper. Blah blah blah, Uriel...okay wait, this line is good. I'll give it a fresh paragraph.
Uriel laughs. "Nah, there's more." He circles Dean and looks him over. Please don't go there, Show. "You cut yourself a slice of angel food cake, didn't you? Huh? You did!"
Dean's teeth are set on edge. "What do you care? You're junkless down there, right? Like a Ken doll." Actually Dean, not to be all Get a sound hermeneutic, will you, but while I get why you may think that, there's a good chance you're laboring under an exegetical fallacy. Compare it to earlier canon. Cindy's hermeneutical guidelines; point the first: context is everything/scripture interprets scripture/make sure your exegesis maintains Biblical harmony. Cindy's hermeneutical guidelines; point the second: stop talking about hermeneutics in the Supernatural recap, even when the episode is crap.
So where were we? Oh, yeah, Dean just attacked the manhood of a creature who isn't a man in the first place. Uriel waves his hands in the intergalactic, inter-dimensional, inter-species gesture of Ouch, you got me. He tells Dean it's his last chance to give them Anna and starts to issue a threat, but Dean cuts him off. "What? Are you going to toss me back in the hole? You're bluffing." Uriel tells him to try him -- this deal with Anna is a lot bigger than the plans they have for Dean -- he can be replaced. Dean licks his (own!) lips then presses them together. "What the Hell." He lifts his hands out from his side, to show he's unarmed. "Go ahead and do it."
Uriel approaches him. "You're just crazy enough to go, aren't you?" Uriel, 1: you don't know the half of it. 2: Is that EMOTION I DETECT ON YOUR FACE?
"What can I say? I don't break easy."
Uriel raises an eyebrow as a small smile creeps across his mouth. "Oh yes..." He circles Dean, once again. From behind him, he says, "You do. You just got to know where to apply the right pressure." Dean looks out of the corner of his eyes, and seems surprised that Uriel knows this information -- which makes no sense at all -- because Anna told him she knows what he did in Hell based on the conversations she intercepted via W-A-N-G.
There's a piercing scream, but it isn't coming from me. I know! It's coming from poor, poor Ruby. Or should I say poor, poor Genevieve Cortese, who is being treated like the stunt double in bondage porn, by our valiant show-runner. Shame on you, Kripke. She's bound to some table in what looks to be a filthy, abandoned rest room, which probably would have been a suitable destination for this script. At least you could try to flush it, there. Her hands are outstretched and bound. Her mouth is bound by a wide leather band, so it's not really clear how she was able to scream quite so loudly, but if you're looking for sense, you're watching the wrong part of this two-parter. Her bare breasts are bound by a similar band, as are her ankles. She's bleeding all over the place, and not just from listening to poor man's Brando who is trying to morph into a cut rate Hannibal Lector, although that probably is what has turned Ruby's eyes black. He blathers on about the lack of patience and craftsmanship manifest in Ruby's generation, but praises her Knife That Hasn't Even Killed Her While Carving Her UP (See How Far It Has Fallen), as an exquisite piece. I'm not going to transcribe his taunting, but that's all it is -- taunting and horn-tooting. I'm also not going to transcribe his actions, because although I'm sure Raoul, bless him, is gobbling up the gore with a spoon in an early Dragon Thanksgiving, I'm pissed at Kripke for objectifying and fetishizing Cortese to this extreme. Suffice it to say he's doing some more cutting, just out of view, and Ruby is crying all the time. He finally removes the mouth band, but only on the condition that she won't "smoke out" of her current meatsuit. He demands to know where the angel is, but Ruby won't tell him, because she knows if she does, he'll kill her. Instead, she agrees to take him to Anna. Alastair laughs and the D.P. makes sure we get one final shot of poor Cortese's heaving, bound bosom. I take a long long shower, but I can't quite feel clean, so let's move on. We cut to...
Daylight at the barn or Casa Ramshackle, which could be one in the same, but at this point who cares: Anna looks through the gaps in the barn boards. Dean sits and drinks. Sam paces, wondering aloud where Ruby could be. Dean says, "Hey, she's your Hell buddy," and takes another swig from his flask. Anna chastises that it's a little early for that, but Dean brushes off her comment and her concern. A wild wind blows open the barn door and Castiel and Uriel walk in.
Castiel stares at Anna, intently. "Hello, Anna. It's good to see you." Sam wants to know the angels found them. When Castiel looks at Dean, Anna and Sam follow his gaze. Dean can't meet their eyes. Dean simply says he's sorry. Sam demands to know why Dean gave Anna up. Dean won't answer.
Anna looks from Dean, to her former co-workers, to Sam. "Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me, or kill you. I know how their minds work." Castiel looks ashamed, which, what do you know, IS ANOTHER FEELING. Anna puts a hand on Dean's arm, and kisses his lips. Castiel looks at them like they're either an oasis or a mirage, and that either would be preferable to the desert in which he is doomed to wander. Anna whispers to Dean, "You did the best you could. I forgive you." Castiel looks away -- convicted. Anna approaches him and Uriel. "Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready." And I believe that was a DUN!
Castiel tells Anna he's sorry, but Anna denies he can, as he doesn't know the feeling. Please, Anna, I like you, but that ship has frickin' sailed. Castiel reminds her that they have a history together, and it's not clear whether he simply means their past relationship of comrades-in-arms, or if they were comrades in arms. Anna knows orders are orders and tells him to make it quick. Dean closes his eyes. Sam fumes. Alastair Brandos/Lectors. "Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." Crap, did I hear a touch of Cagney in there? His minions hold Ruby between them. She's dressed now, but bleeding profusely from her middle. Castiel considers the scene carefully, because that's who he is. Uriel though, dons his Game on, bitches face, and walks right toward Alastair. "How dare you come in this room, you pus-ing sore?" Alastair's minions throw Ruby to the ground.
I don't know who Alastair sounds like now -- some Brando, some DeNiro, maybe? "Name calling -- that hurt my feelings, you sanctimonious, fanatical prick."
Castiel never flinches; he never moves. "Turn around and walk away. Now." Alastair will be glad to, as soon as he gets the girl, whom he promises to punish good and proper. Castiel is in no mood for making a deal with the devil. "You know who we are and what we will do." He approaches them until he stands shoulder-to-shoulder with Uriel. "I won't say it again. Leave. Now. Or we lay you to waste." Alastair lisps that he's willing to take his chances. And? They fight. Let's not pretend I'm a good action recapper. Uriel takes on the white minion, and is in the course of rendering him harmless when he's surprised from behind by the black minion. They all struggle, while Castiel and Alastair pummel the dickens out of each other.
Castiel lays his hand on Alastair's forehead, but Alastair is not susceptible to angel pimp hand, which shocks Castiel. Alastair sneers, "Sorry kiddo. Why don't you go run to Daddy?" He punches Castiel in the face and sends him flying to the floor. Alastair straddles Castiel, as Uriel applies the angel pimp hand to the forehead of the white minion. It works on him, but instead of leaving in a cloud of black smoke that drips to the floor like so much vomit, the demon's essence burns out of his eyes and mouth, as though he's being purified with unfiltered sunshine -- from the inside. Throttling Castiel, Alastair chants, "Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma." It's been a decade and change since I took any Latin, but I think that's pretty plainly rendered as "Infernal powers strengthen me." That is, he's praying for strength from the powers of Hell.
Dean bashes Alastair upside the head with a crow bar, to get him off Castiel. Be careful what you pray for, when you're praying to the forces of evil. Alastair decides it's time to chew some scenery. "Dean, Dean, Dean. I am so disappointed. You had such...promise." Sam's eyes widen at that.
Alastair strangles Dean and Sam with some evil mojo, while Uriel exorcises the essence from the black minion. Before he's finished, Anna runs over to him and takes back her grace. Uriel shouts, "No!" but she's too quick for him. She throws the vial to the ground, it breaks open, and her grace takes on the form of white smoke. It spills out over the ground and right up into her mouth. I liked these special effects when they were used on Galadriel in The Fellowship of the Ring and weren't contracted on a shoe-string budget. She reels. She rocks. She rolls. She falls to her knees. She's got the fire down below. Oh wait, that was earlier. Now she's got a fire in her belly. She herks. She jerks. And as she rises to her feet, she cries out, "Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes!" Ruby, Dean and Sam do just that. Uriel and Castiel look on in amazement. She screams, "Shut your eyes," and is overwhelmed by a brilliant white light. For just a moment, she looks like Anna. Alastair tries to grab her, but he is consumed as her power manifests in a brilliant white flash. Bye bye, Brando.
When Dean, Sam, and Ruby finally look up, Anna is gone and Castiel and Uriel are still stunned. Dean picks up Ruby's Knife That's Now Just a Knife. "Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna unless, of course, you're...scared." Oh, Dean.
Uriel makes a grab for Dean, but Castiel holds him back, so he merely blusters, "This isn't over."
Dean's in rare form. "Oh, it looks over to me, junkless." Uriel glares at him (there's a lot of glaring in this episode). Castiel's look is inscrutable at first, but then it almost seems like a smile might be teasing at the corners of his eyes and mouth. And something -- gratitude -- admiration, perhaps -- crosses his face, then they are gone.
Dean and Sam catch their breath. Ruby rises to her feet and limps over to the boys. Sam asks if she's okay. She says, "Not so much." Dean asks what took her so long to get there. Ruby says, "Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured.
Dean nods, then turns to his brother. "I've got to hand it to you, Sammy. Bringing them all together all at once -- angels and demons -- it was a damned good plan.
Sam nods and looks at Ruby. "Yeah, well, when you've got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, it's best to get out of their way and let them fight." While Dean says that now Sam's just bragging, Ruby looks at him like, Oh, why didn't I think of that, but she doesn't say it, because I think she's in lurve. Understandably, Sam changes the subject, both spoken and not. "So, I guess she's some big-time angel now, huh? She must be happy -- wherever she is."
Dean can't smile at that sentiment. He looks at Ruby and says, "I doubt it."
Daytime, on the side of the road -- Sam sits on Metallicar's hood, facing forward, while Dean leans against her right front fender -- his back to Sam. He says, "I can't believe we made it out of there." Sam adds the requisite again. They clink their beer bottles and drink deep. Without facing Sam, Dean says, "I know you heard him." Sam looks at the back of his brother's troubled head as he asks who he means. Dean looks out the corner of his eyes, but never turns. "Alastair -- what he said -- how I had...promise." Sammy heard him and he's damn curious, but he's not going to push Dean. Dean takes another swig of his beer. Sam follows suit. Finally, Dean speaks. "It wasn't four months, you know. It was four months up here, but down there -- I don't know -- time's different. It was more like 40 years." Sam tries to take that in. "They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you..." He shakes his head, and wets his lips. "Until there was nothing left." And that kids, is how Dean lost his hymen the first time. "And then suddenly, I would be whole again, like magic, just so they could start in all over. And Alastair, at the end of every day, every one, he would come over and he would make me an offer..." (that you couldn't refuse?) "To take me off the rack, if I put souls on...if I started the torturing. And every day I told him to stick it where the sun shines." Looks like Show Barnes is going to have to come back to teach Dean the proper iteration of that expression, too. "For 30 years I told him, but then I couldn't do it anymore, Sam. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off, and I started ripping them apart." A perfect tear falls from his right eye. Sam's eyes are red rimmed, but he remains in the background. Dean's saying this for himself, as much as for Sam. "I lost count of how many souls. The -- the things that I did to them..." His voice trails off as the tears flow freely.
Sam tries to remain composed. And though it breaks, his voice is quiet. "Dean. Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have."
The camera closes in on Dean's tear streaked face, as he tries to choke down his sobs. All sniping of mine aside, this last scene is a work of art -- thanks to all involved -- and is far too good for the rest of this episode. The tears keep flowing. Dean sniffles and wipes his eyes. "How I feel...this...inside me -- I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damned thing." Sam looks down. What can he say? What can he do? Dean weeps on, as we fade to black.
Supernatural will be back with all new episodes beginning January 15, 2009, and Demian and Raoul will be back then, too.
Cindy McLennan would like to thank Demian for giving her this chance to cover for him during his Lollipop Disease recuperation period. It was generous and gracious and she has loved every bit of it. She also thanks Dan Manu, Angel Cohn, and the TWoP editors for all their help and support. She thanks the fans too, for their lovely emails and encouragement. She regularly weecaps How I Met Your Mother, and you can reach her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com. Happy Holidays and happy hiatus, everyone.Discuss this episode in our forums.