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The episode opens on an absolutely petrified hunter of the ladylike persuasion as she skitters around her sparse yet tasteful apartment in a frantic and ultimately futile attempt to escape the vengeful ghosts of several bits of Monster Chow she failed to save back in the day, and my ears are still ringing from all the shrieking that commenced the moment we saw the full extent of the ultra-violence those ghosts perpetrated on that poor woman's torso. Of course, the hunter lady turns out to have been an acquaintance of Bobby's, because everybody knows everybody on this show, and it also turns out hers was simply the latest in a grisly and perplexing string of hunter murders that have taken out an alarming number of Our Intrepid Heroes' colleagues over the last couple of weeks, so you can imagine the generalized consternation and anxiety that erupt when the boys plus Bobby come under attack from the vengeful ghosts of several bits of Monster Chow Sam and Dean failed to save back in the day.
Yep, Special Agent Scooter Javert Henriksen, Fat Ronald, and -- most awesomely -- Short-Lip Meg come back from beyond the grave to torment Our Dear Boys over the latter's perceived failings in life, with the ultimate goal of course being Sam and Dean's joint evisceration. Interestingly enough, The Anti-Christ Superstar's fancy new mind mojo has no effect whatsoever on the unruly spirits, so the boys are forced to retreat to Bobby's pinnacle-of-awesome supernatural panic room, where all three fret and strategize and eventually land upon a ritual that'll return the ghosts to wherever the hell they came from in the first place for good, with no harm done to their immortal souls, or whatever.
And where does everyone's brand-new favorite angel man fit into all of this? Here: The ghosts are actually The Witnesses, whose Rising is one of the sixty-six -- yes, sixty-six -- seals Lilith needs to break to bring about The Apocalypse, which is why The Big Guy Upstairs sent Castiel and his brethren down to earth for the first time in 2000 years, and with that, the fourth season's overarching storyline just got huge."Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" -- Demian
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A bloody colored THEN bursts onto the screen and fades to black. We see Sam carrying two children (possibly from "Home") down the stairs. In voice-over, Dean says, "Look Sam, we've saved a lot of people." Dean saves the little boy from Dead In The Water. "But we can't save them all." The victims include a pretty blonde I can no longer remember, wearing a white negligee and not much else except her own blood that drips down into her décolleté. She lies dead with her throat slashed. The opening guitar riff from Billy Squier's "Lonely Is The Night," blasts through the TV, so you know something badass is coming. We're on the other side of a door that's kicked in with great force and hooray! It's the fandom's favorite sassy blonde...
Jo! Just kidding. From "Scarecrow," Sassy introduces herself to Sam in a bus station. "I'm Meg." Meg's caught in the Devil's Trap. With a scream, she gives up the ghost and dies. Flash to Sam saying, "Ronald Resnick." A red laser beam shines on his back. A bullet tears right through him, exploding out his chest and he's gone. Bye bye, Ron. Whoosh Special Angel...er...Agent Victor Henrickson announces his presence with great bluster. Then Lilith v.1 turns her creepy whited-out eyes upward, and a far less blustery Henrickson tries not to pee his pants as she white lights him to death...
Lonely is the night, when you find yourself alone. Sam says, "Dean, you're not going to go to hell." Ruby!Lilith says, "Sic him, boys." Dean is puppy chow. Ruby!Lilith tries to white light Sammy to death, to no avail. Dean's stuck in Hell. Dean copies Buffy and digs his own way out of his grave, but it's in broad daylight and nowhere as creepy and scary. All the windows blow in at Dean's first post-Hell pitstop. Sam and Dean are reunited. They hug. Dean kills a demon disguised as a cop. Sam exorcises the waitress demon with 100% less Latinizing and 100% more mojo. NuRuby comes out of the shadows and makes eyes at Sam. Bobby and Dean summon Castiel, who takes a bullet better than Superman, and has a better motto, too: "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." Wings! Pointy teethed monsters. Decaying monsters. Blonde monsters. Sam driving! Dean driving! Dean with a flash light. Dean with a look. Sam looking broken. Dean fighting. Metallicar! Sam fighting. Someone shooting. Sam fighting badly. Dean shooting. Things burning. Red rooms. Big knives. Crashing through walls. Dean mouthing off to Castiel who brought him (back) into this world and can take him (back) out (again). Castiel speaking slowly and clearly like one might to a learning disabled child. "Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you." I have work to do too, which was hindered considerably by that long set of clips from prior episodes. Note to self: Send Craig Thomas and Carter Bays a thank you note for not including clips that run 1:45 before each episode of How I Met Your Mother.
The equally bloody colored NOW fades in and back out again. A brunette is asleep on a couch with a book across her chest and her left arm across her eyes. We hear snoring, but it's coming from an episode of The Three Stooges on her TV, which starts flickering on and off. The reception disintegrates to snow. The brunette stirs, but doesn't wake. Her pores are crying out for exfoliation, toner and moisturizer. The lamps start flickering on and off and she slowly opens her eyes. She sits up and when she exhales, her breath is visible. Either it's well past time to brush her teeth, or there's a spirit at work. She barefoots it to a closet, ignoring her ringing phone. Her machine kicks in, "Hey, it's Olivia. I'm not in. Leave a message." She throws open the double doors, pushes the hanging clothes to either side, and pulls down a door behind them, to reveal her built-in weapons cache. She flips on her EMF reader, which lights up like the corpse of someone Dean and Sam don't want coming back.
The caller leaves his message. "Olivia, it's Bobby." Bobby Bobby. "Call me back, will ya? Got something big." Oh sheesh, Bobby, don't use Dean as your Cyrano. Olivia takes out a gun and loads it with salt rounds; it's big, too. Bobby continues: "We could use your help." Olivia screams, "What a fricking coincidence, Bobby," or maybe not. I forget. There's a weird thump thump thumping coming from outside my house.
Olivia cases the joint (hers, not mine) and a dead guy appears behind her. She says, "You," and blows him away. Literally. He poofs into a cloud of black smoke which flies out the window Olivia's just shot out. Maybe she was too hasty. In all the excitement, the TV in the background switches from the Stooges to a Soloflex commercial. That spirit could be benevolent. The camera pans to some big gray sacks on the floor. They're hand laced up the sides. Olivia grabs one and lays a thick line of salt across an interior doorway. She looks up, and dead guy is back like a bad check, or an even worse ex. She whimpers as she rises to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Okay, bad ex it is. Maybe dead guy would be buying the apologetic approach if you'd tried it before shooting him. I'm just sayin'... She backs away slowly and turns her back to him because she really trusts that salt line, I guess. She's confronted by a dead woman - a dirty blonde. A really, really, dirty blonde, in an equally dirty shirt who wants to muck up her hands to match the rest of her ensemble. She reaches into Olivia. You can hear the squick sound as her hand penetrates Olivia's flesh, and the fwomp as it pulls something out. Olivia screams "I should have laid out the salt in a circle," or something, and we fade to black. RAAAWWWR! The new title card, with its bat-like angel wings, is growing on me, but commercials never will. There's a voice that sounds like it's coming from my backyard (but I won't rule out my head). I can't quite make out what it's saying. Sounds like, "No more more?" but that's not quite it.
Morning at Bobby's: Birds chirp in the background; Bobby reads; and the episode title card appears, "Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester." Huh. From the tone of the conversation, it sounds to me like Sam's the one getting his period. "Well then tell me what else it could have been?" They're out in the kitchen. Dean says, "Look, all I know is I was not...groped by an angel." Dean look, I know it must be disappointing, because he is terribly handsome, but I think you should watch your mouth. Have you already forgotten the shadow of those fierce wings? Sam wants to know why Dean thinks Castiel would be lying about being an angel. Dean petulantly points out Castiel could be a demon, because demons lie. Well geez, why haven't they mentioned that on this show, before? Verbally, Sam tries to smack some sense into him. "A demon who's immune to salt rounds, and devil's traps, and Ruby's knife? Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing."
Dean refuses to see the truth. "Look, if angels were real, don't you think that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one, at some point? Ever?" Are our intrepid heroes synchronizing? Sammy's puts on his smarmy face as he tells Dean that he's the hunter who just did see one. Dean argues that he's trying to come up with a theory with a little less fairy dust on it. There are more thumps, and what sounds like a kitten with laryngitis outside my window. This is starting to creep me out.
Sam tries again to talk sense to Dean. Granted, they can't be sure Castiel is a demon...Dean cuts him off. That's exactly his point; they don't know for sure. Oh my word are these two ever going to stop arguing? Not forever, then there'd be no show, but in this scene? Dean booms that he's not going to believe this 'thing' is an angel of the Lord just because it says so, and Bobby comes to my rescue. "You two chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion or you want to come take a look at this?" Oh Bobby, don't. It doesn't take much to set off the people in the forums. Castiel blinded Show Barnes, not TWoP Barnes. Sam and Dean look away from each other in disgust and mope their way over to Bobby. Dean must be wearing lifts, because although Jensen Ackles is a tall man himself, he's usually dwarfed by the Ginormatron when they share a shot, yet he isn't in this one. Bobby cuts to the chase. "I got stacks of lore: Biblical, pre-Biblical; some of it's in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit."
Sam puts on his hit-me face, and looks at Dean, who quietly asks, "What else?"
Bobby's puzzled. "What else what?"
What else could do it?
Air-life your ass out of the hotbox? As far as I can tell, nothing."
Dean looks at Bobby, intently. Sam's such a cheerful puppy; he can't contain himself or his smile. "Dean, this is good news!" When Dean asks how, he answers, "Duh." Well, no but don't you think he should have? I mean, hello, Dean. Wouldn't it be nice to have an angel helping you instead of a demon hunting you? The chuckleheads end up dragging Bobby into their religious argument. Dean's all: So there's a God? Bobby's like, I'm thinking yeah. Sam's all, Whoopee, I can compare it to science now, instead of faith. I'm all, Oh get to the bloody scene. We get it, show. Dean's having a hard time accepting the fact that an angel saved him. This was covered extensively in the season premiere. It follows that he's having a hard time thinking that there's a God, and one who thinks he's worth saving. He's not worthy. He's a thief. He's a slutty, slutty boy. He's just a regular guy. Why him? Blah blah skip the pie and eat-some-therapy-cakes. When Sam explains that Dean must be a regular guy who is important to 'the man upstairs', Dean says, "Well that creeps me out," with a look that makes the whole scene worth watching. "I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties, much less by...God." Sam's had it with Dean's issues, and is immune to his look. "Too bad, Dean, because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat." It might have gotten lost what with all the dying and all, Sam. Maybe you could give him yours? Dean clears his throat, but his voice is still all husky, not that I notice these things. "Fine, what do we know about angels?" Bobby hefts a pile of mostly huge books and plops it down in front of the boys, telling them to start reading. Dean points at his brother and says, "You're gonna get me some pie!" Dean grabs the smallest book off the top of the pile and storms off.
Sam and Metallicar drive up to what appears to be a truck stop. The only signage visible though, reads, "Beer & Wine," which is a little scary. Sam's on his cell phone, responding to more orders from his dearly departed and recently returned brother. Yes he'll get chips. When has he ever forgotten the pie? Well, there was that time he mistook Dean's straight talking dessert order for some weird Kansas equivalent of Cockney rhyming slang for eff off and die, and did just that. Maybe that's why Dean's so adamant. Just get him the damn pie, Sam. No forgetting. No improvising. No getting taken to Demonette Sleep-Away Camp. No getting killed. Look at it this way. Pie will help Dean keep his pie hole shut. On second thought, given the way he chews... Sam spots NuRuby lurking around the corner of the store and ends his call with Dean. Oh for crying out loud, he's going off book already.
Sam's hair looks better this week. NuRuby's looks much worse. Maybe they are sleeping together and her hair absorbed the four months worth of grease he was sporting last week. Come to think of it, Metallicar looked dirty in that last shot. Is there some water shortage in Vancouver we should know about, Kripke? The parking lot is dusty, too. Ruby wants to know if it's true. Not the water shortage thing. She says, "Did an angel rescue Dean?" Sam's surprised that she's heard, but she implies everyone has. Sam says they're not sure but they think so. You can see the knot she's feeling in the stomach of the innocent victim she's possessed most likely until the point of death, but she's a nice demon. Right. Where was I? "Okay. Bye Sam." She starts walking away, but Sam stops her. College boy doesn't understand why a demon might be afeared of an angel of the Lord. Ruby spells it out for him. Slowly. They'll smite demons first and ask questions later. Go angels (but not Angels). You know, the people in the forums that Demian refers to as, how you say -- Dean Girls -- are always "discussing" how the show makes Dean look dumb in comparison to Sam. Not this week, ladies. I'm pretty sure Dean can walk and chew pie at the same time, whereas Sam is unaware that angels and demons might not be on the best of terms. He asks Ruby what she knows about them, but it isn't much. She's never met one, doesn't want to and simply knows they scare the holy Hell out of her. She tells him to watch himself, but he quickly - a little too quickly - says he's not scared of angels. Ruby flounces off, leaving Sam with a look on his face that just screams he's forgotten all about pie. Sexual or not, our beautiful, broad-shouldered boy needs to put an end to his Ruby rendezvous and get back on track.
Bobby is handing Dean a duffel bag to throw in the trunk of an old beater box, as Sam and Metallicar return. Bobby tells Sam to keep the engine running. He explains he's been trying to reach his friend Olivia Lowry for days and it's unlike her to ignore his calls. Sam recognizes her name -- she's a hunter. They're going to the unidentified state over to check up on her. Dean tells Sam to scoot over and they're off to follow Bobby to Olivia's. Sam hands Dean the bag from the store, and Dean looks happier than he has since he escaped the abyss. Unfortunately, that happiness is short-lived. "Dude? Where's the pie? Mercifully, this scene is short-lived, too. There's been a lot of good information in this episode, but it's been ridiculously short on action and excitement so far. There's that thump again. And the same cry. "Where's the oar?" What? Oh. Wait. Can it be? I think I know what's going on here, excuse me a moment.
Raoul? Raoul? Is that you? Raoul Tristan DelMarvino? Raoul? Don't make me call you again, Ralph Marvin. "Well I will not, I am sure. Good evening, madam. Have we met? I don't recall having had the..." Can it, Raoul. I'm Cindy, I'm a new recapper at TWoP, but I've been following you and Demian for a long time. "Well, it is a fantastic 'coincidence' you should mention that, because I've been following Demian and myself, which is no mean feat, for a long time too, this is my fourth year in fact, and isn't it just ridiculously 'convenient' that you're sitting here in Boston with your tea and your husband, recapping while my poor, dear, darling Demian is home in Chicago with a broken wing." Demian has wings? Like Castiel, or... "I was being poetic, you...you...suburbanite. The poor dear boy has broken his Sam Winchester." Raoul, speak plainly or I will call you Ralph for the rest of your flame-breathed days. "There's no need to be so...how you are...I'm sure. A-hem. Demian's shoulder is broken as you must have heard, and may I just say, J'accuse! Clearly, weecapping your little...sitcom (although I have to admit Neil Patrick Harris is fabulous) isn't enough and you have disabled poor Demian so that you can usurp him." Raoul, I was terribly sorry to hear about Demian's accident, and when he asked me to help him out while he recovers, I was happy to be able to, but I haven't been 20 miles from here in weeks, never mind to Chicago. Besides, Demian told me he tripped going up the stairs. "Er...uhm...yes. That's the story, isn't it? Right. Tripping upstairs. What else did he tell you?" That was pretty much it, Raoul. Was there more to tell? "Why ever would you ask such a question of me?" Oh, sheesh. Look, I'm only hours away from deadline, and there's lots of show left. Would you like to watch it with me? "Maybe for a while. I just flew in from Chicago. And boy, are my wings tired." Oh, dear. Moving right along...
At Olivia's Bobby and the boys find her corpse. There's never a tight shot of the body, but it looks like her heart was ripped right from her chest. "Sniff. What would it have hurt to show a close up? It's like that dreadful little Kripkeeper doesn't even care." Bobby goes right back outside, while Sam and Dean check out the damage and give Raoul a little peek at the carnage. "Eeeeee!" They see the salt line and the still open weapons cache. Dean finds her EMF. Sam the genius says, "Spirit activity," with such a puss face that I'm surprised all the kitties in the neighborhood haven't come to sniff him out. Bobby returns. He's shaken. "I called some hunters nearby - 'cept they ain't answering their phones, either." The educated brother says, "Something's up, huh?" Bobby's had it with Sam and his out of character stupidity too, and says with some level of disgust, "You think?"
Outside a tiny white house that wants to be a Chicago Bungalow when it grows up, we hear a phone ring. Inside, the TV is all snow and static. The answering machine picks up. We hear, "Yeah it's Jed. I'm not around. Leave a message." Someone already has. "BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! Where there's blood, there's GOOOOOOOOOOORE!" We hear Dean leaving a message that they think something's happening to hunters. I guess we can still call him 'the late Dean Winchester' despite his resurrection, because if the bloody, shredded mess on the floor is Jed, he's already got that message, thanks Dean. Time for the METAL TEETH CHOMP!
Pardon me for saying so, I'm sure, but you cannot just steal Demian's lines like that." Oh, Raoul, shhh. I can't converse and recap the way Demian can. I'm new to this business, I'm just trying to put in a few familiar touches for any of the regular readers who make it this far. "Probably not many." I know, Raoul, but I'm doing my best. "It isn't much, is it? Hmmmm. Yes, all the more reason for you to trip Demian with my tail and grab his livelihood from his magical recapping hands." Wait? You broke Demian's shoulder, Raoul? "Why strictly speaking, yes, but clearly you used some spell on me. Now I assure you, this is not my way, but you've left me no choice. I must kill and eat you, to avenge my dear friend."
I fly out of my office, through the living room, up the stairs, and down the hall. Raoul is hot on my tail, and I do mean hot, but not like Sam, Dean, and heaven forgive me, Castiel. Raoul's breath scorches me. I know my only recourse and I'm not afraid to use it. I flee to the bedroom at the end of the hall, and shut the door behind me, but neither brace nor lock it. Instead, I flip on the light and walk over by the bed. The pretty bed with the cream colored headboard painted with roses and ribbons. The bed with the pink canopy and bedspread, and pink sheets with white polka dots. Jonas Brothers posters, and pictures of things like ballet shoes and pretty flowers adorn the walls, and there are dolls and stuffed animals everywhere. Raoul bursts through the door, ready to lunge for me, when he stops dead in his tracks. "You! You! You horrible, horrible fiend. All I was going to do was kill and eat you, and yes, cook you first, I'm not a savage I assure you, and yet you've led me into this hellish trap." The small lump under the pink covers squirms and sighs. "Is that what I fear it is?" shrieks Raoul. "Yes," I hiss. "But be quiet, or you'll wake her." "Her?" asks Raoul. His reptilian eyes are bright with terror. His gulp is audible. He trembles in fear. "Yes, her, my daughter...my little girl." For once, Raoul is speechless. I tell him in no uncertain terms to leave my house and not to contact me until he has accepted his guilt for Demian's injury, and to make sure that's after my deadline has passed. He hesitates, so I pull the covers down just far enough so that he can see my pretty little one's wavy hair, rosy cheeks, delicate lips, and her jammies that read, "Little Miss Sunshine." Whining something about dirty pool, he hustles as quickly as his considerable haunches will allow, down the stairs, back outside and into the night. With any luck, he'll go straight back to Chicago, because I have work to do.
Nighttime: Sam and Dean exit Jed's house as Dean tells Bobby over the phone that Jed looks even worse than Olivia. Bobby's checked on Carl Bates and R.C. Adams, and they've redecorated...in red. Dean asks Bobby why a bunch of ghosts would be killing hunters. Bobby doesn't know, but they'd better get themselves to his place right away, until they find out. Metallicar pulls into a Gas & Save. Sam exits the driver's seat (!!!) and gives Baby a good long drink. Something's lurking in the shadows, watching him, and although Sam senses it, he doesn't see it. He heads for the loo as Baby drinks her fill and Dean sleeps in the front seat, unaware of the Creepy Music of Imminent Doom or At Least Terrific Suspense. At least it's not coming from an iPod docked in Baby. While washing his hands in a sink so filthy it seems counterintuitive, Sam notices his breath is frosty. He exhales again and the mirror becomes encrusted with frost. He wipes across it with his ginormous hand, but instead of himself, he sees Agent Victor Henrickson staring back. Oh my, Sam is now a slightly less large, but still sizable, African American FBI Agent. Nothing but proper ethnic identifiers from the substitute recapper, you betcha. Wait. Sam didn't turn into Henrickson, he's being stalked by Henrickson's ghost, because he's a hunter and that's this week's theme. Ghost!Henrickson says, "Hi Sam, it's been a while." In a black and white flash back, Living!Henrickson says, "Hi guys, it's been a while," and we see a guard about to scream, Living!Henrickson pointing a gun. Living!Henrickson laughing. Living!Henrickson shooting. Living!Henrickson saying, "So how do we survive?" Back in living color, Sam says, "Henrickson, are you...did you..." and being an impatient ghost, Ghost!Henrickson starts to flicker off and on or whatever that thing is ghosts do, and answers Sam's question before it's been properly asked. "I didn't survive, if that's what you're asking." Sam winces. "I'm sorry." Henrickson says he knows he is. Sam says, "Look, if we had known Lilith was coming..." Henrickson cuts him off. "You wouldn't have left half a dozen innocent people in that police station to die in your place? You did this to me. It was your fault. She was after you and I paid the price. You left us there to DIE!" He throws Sammy across the bathroom, which can't be easy. In their struggle, Sam notices a brand on the back of Henrickson's hand at the base of his thumb. In the scuffle, the mirror gets smashed. What does seven years of bad luck even look like for a Winchester? Seriously Sam, I wouldn't sweat it. Henrickson repeatedly bashes Sam's head against the dirty bathroom sink. Luckily he didn't have anything worthwhile in there, today. Sam's on the floor with Henrickson looming over him, when a blast sounds, light flashes and Henrickson poofs away, as Dean enters the bathroom with a shotgun (or whatever kind of gun. I don't know. I'm a liberal).
At Bobby's the electric candle sconces over his mantle start flickering. Bobby's breath comes out all white too, and we hear the eerie sound of little girls giggling. Wait, there's my phone. Hello? "See? They're so terrifying they fill Bobby with dread, and you threatened me with one! Expect a bill from my therapist, I'm sure!" Um...okay, Raoul. Bye bye. I'm sorry about that. I don't know what to do with him. Bobby picks up an iron poker from among his fireplace tools on the hearth, and searches for the source of the giggles and whispers. His radio goes haywire. He walks into the room and approaches the staircase. Straight out of a scene from The Shining, a ball bounces down the steps, and Bobby turns to find two little disheveled girls, in stained, dingy party dresses, staring at him like he just broke their pony.
Metallicar races down the dark road. Inside her, Dean tries to call Bobby, but he's not picking up. Addressing Sam, he says, "How you feeling? How many fingers am I holding up?" without actually holding up any fingers. Heh. "None. I'll be fine, Dean." Dean says, "Henrickson? Why? What did he want?" "Revenge, because we got him killed." Dean tells Sam to stop right there. "Whatever's going on is going on with us, right now. I can't get a hold of Bobby, so if you can't think of answers, don't think at all." I am so using that line on my kids. And possibly my husband. It's daylight now, and Metallicar arrives at Casa de Singer. Sam and Dean enter the house, and Dean whisper-shouts Bobby's name? Both boys are armed with shotguns (or whatever) and they search the place. Dean snaps to draw Sam's attention to the iron fireplace poker, which is now lying on the floor, I think near the staircase, but it's hard to tell. Deciding Sam's been the dummy for too long in this episode, Dean says, "I'll go, you check outside," because things always work out so well for these boys when they split up. Don't be too dumb to live Dean. Again. I'll make you a nice pie. What do you like? Apple? Cherry? Chocolate Cream? He's not listening to me. Winchesters! Sam walks off as Dean climbs the stairs.
Outside, Sam walks through rows of wrecks, shouting Bobby's name. He walks right past the wreck (which is up on a lift, or atop another wreck or something) containing Bobby and the Shining Twins. One of them has her little hand over Bobby's mouth and he is terrified. My phone rings, but I check the caller I.D. this time, and let it go. I'm going to have to change my number, aren't I? Inside, Dean walks through an upstairs hallway, and let me tell you, this is quite the house. He's in front of the beautiful stained glass windows. He calls out for Bobby and two doors slam shut, while a third opens. Gun at the ready, Dean says, "Come out, come out, whoever you are," and his breath is like smoke. He straightens up as a figure fades in behind him. It's Meg, whom we knew to expect from the THEN clips which completely threw off my recapping timetable. Her hair is about shoulder length now and back to a more natural color, which makes no sense, because she still had the short blonde hair when she died. And don't give me that 'hair and nails grow after death' crap. I Snopesed my own aunt on a political (lying!) e-mail she sent me this week, so I'll certainly Snopes you. "Dean Winchester, still so bossy." Oh oh, Meg. You just lost every Dean-Girl who once thought you were the only one (or one of two, if we count Ellen) female characters to share a screen with Dean who didn't deserve a grisly death, or in your case, the grisly death you got. "You don't recognize me?" Dean has a black and white (well actually, sort of blue) memory of Meg in all her short-haired glory. Ghost!Meg says, "This is what I looked like before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut." I'm not buying it, Kripke. Everyone else has their death clothes on, and Meg's shirt is dirty, too. Dean remembers more clips of Meg including the ones covered in the THEN, so please don't make me type them again. He finally says, "Meg?" She smiles. "Hi" and we go to commercial which gives me a moment to complain. They did this back-asswards. Henrickson was more significant to Dean and Meg was more significant to Sam. The confrontations should have been in the opposite order. Oh my, look at the time. Complaint over.
Dean raises his shotgun, and Meg says, "It's okay. I'm not a demon." Dean says, "You're the girl the demon possessed." Meg Masters is her name, and she says it's nice to talk to Dean when she's not choking on her own blood. She reassures him that it's okay, again, which totally means it isn't in a horror show. She goes on to say she was just a college girl when the demon jumped her and took her over. She explains she was a prisoner in her own mind, awake for all the murders the demon committed while wearing her skin. When Dean says he's sorry, she's doesn't believe him. Was he so sorry that he had her thrown out of a building? Defenestration for the win! When Dean starts to explain what they thought she yells, "No you didn't think. I kept waiting. Praying. I was trapped in there, screaming at you. Just help me, please. You're supposed to help people, Dean. Why didn't you help me?" Great way to go right for his self-esteem issues, Meg. Brava, but I'm not sure you can beat up on Dean any more than he beats up on himself. He's had a lifetime of practice. When he apologizes again, she bitch slaps him to the ground and tells him to stop saying that. She kicks him one way, and kicks his gun the other. When he says they didn't know, Meg implies that's the problem -- they just attack, with no thought for the girl imprisoned in her own body. "You think you're some kind of hero?" Oh Meg, what did I just tell you? Dean, of course, says, "No. I don't." She tries to play it off like she meant to do that, meant to go there, and says he's damn right, but Dean just won that round in the Dump All Over Dean Contest. Nobody does it better. Makes me feel sad for the rest. She grabs his shirt and he notices the same sort of brand on her hand that Sam saw on Henrickson's. Do you think it's some sort of clue? Do ya? Do ya? Based on her attempt, I'm going to guess she hasn't been reading the Afterlife Daily's Winchester Brothers gossip column. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be ridden for months by pure evil, while your family has no idea what happened to you?" Does Dean say, "Let me tell you about my summer vacation?" No. That would involve cutting himself some slack. He simply says they did the best they could. This enrages Meg, who pushes Dean all the way back down on the floor, rises, and kicks him while letting out a ferocious scream.
Meanwhile, the Shining Twins are working our dear Mr. Singer. They tell him they were scared, when the monster came for them, and grabbed them so tight they couldn't scream, and that Bobby was right there in the house -- so close -- but nobody saved them. Sam walks back by the wreck that's become Bobby's own Overlook Hotel on wheels, and notices he can see his breath. Now that he's no longer stupid, he puts two and two together, and realizes Bobby and his personal haunts must be close. The Shining Twins continue their psychological torture, because they're not allowed to kill Bobby, he's important to the series. Sam frantically pries open trunks in his search, and hears something...
Meg is still haranguing Dean. It's not only his fault she died. Meg had a sister and after Meg disappeared, the little sister was just lost. I know foreshadowing when I smell it, and I know an anvillicious parallel when it hits me on the head. Sam hasn't been the same since Dean died, either, and things aren't all that better now that he's back, only Dean doesn't know, because Sam is so secretive you can't get the time of day out of him. Seeing Meg's beaten, broken body in the morgue led the little sister to suicide. Dean speaks her name, but Meg gets off another kick, and tells Dean it's his fault because all he was thinking about was his own family, revenge, and demons. Well, it does occupy a person's mind. "Fifty words of Latin a little sooner and I'd still be alive. My baby sister would still be alive. That blood is on your hands, Dean." Dean reaches out toward her. "You're right." She kicks him again and...
Sam's still looking for Bobby. He catches sight of something in the Overlook's sideview mirror, and realizes he's found him. He yells out for Bobby to hold on, and climbs up to save him. One of the Shining Twins throws him down onto another car, and his gargantuan frame shatters the windshield. She comes for Sam, ready to rip out his heart like Jed and Olivia before him, but luckily Sam still has the tire iron, made of actual iron, in his hand. He swipes at her and she poofs. Bye bye Thing One. Thing Two goes to face Sam, and Bobby cuts through the back of her with another tire iron, crow bar, or something similar made of iron, which is the important part. He and Sam stare at one another in horror, as Bobby pants to catch his breath.
Dean, still on the floor, struggles to put some distance between himself and Meg. He pulls out a handgun and aims it, but Meg says, "Come on, Dean. Did your brain get French Fried in Hell?" Oh, I guess she did know. Well then, she's dumber than I thought when she's not possessed. She tells him he can't shoot her with bullets. But Dean isn't shooting her and says so, takes aim at the chandelier hanging over her head, and it drops on her, dusting her like she's a vampire on Buffy. He groans, "Iron," then lies back down and groans some more.
Sam, Dean and Bobby discuss that the ghosts are all people they know and couldn't save. Dean mentions the brand on Meg's hand and Sam says he saw the same thing on Henrickson. He sketches it. Dean says that's it and Bobby thinks he's seen it before, which is pretty good, considering Sam's infamous art skillz. Bobby hands Sam some books, says they have to move it and to follow him. When Sam asks where they're going, Bobby says, "Someplace safe, you edjit. Bobby leads them down cellar to a cast iron encased panic room. The walls are completely coated with salt, but we'll handwave away salt's corrosive properties, and echo Dean. "Bobby, you're awesome." Dean catches his breath for a moment as he spots a poster of the lovely Bo Derek, from her role in the film, 10, which is totally different from the film, Se7en. I don't even think anyone yells, "What's in the box," right Dean? "Right."
The boys prepares salt shots as Bobby researches the hand brand haunting band, and Dean explains why he can't get behind God. If he doesn't exist, then bad crap happens to people without rhyme or reason, and that's just how it is. "But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? Why doesn't he help?" Dean, you sound just like Meg when she was accusing you. I'm just sayin'... Besides, sweetie, philosophers have wrestled with the problem of evil for millennia. Dean looks to Sam who looks to Bobby, who says, "I ain't touching this one with a ten-foot pole." Dean just says, "Yeah." Bobby's found the symbol, though, which is good news for Dean and fantastic news to the fans who really wouldn't want to sit through a philosophy of religion and theology argument with Bobby, Sam, and Dean -- unless they're drunk -- and by they're I mean the characters and the audience. The brand is "The Mark of the Witness." All witnesses to the unnatural, none of these ghosts died ordinary deaths and then they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony like I'm going to in just a couple of hours -- but none of them have kids to get off to school or other jobs to do. They're like rabid dogs (the marked ghosts, not my kids...usually). Bobby says, "Someone rose 'em, on purpose." RAISED. Sam asks, "Who?" and Bobby, bless him, says, "Do I look like I know?" Heh. "But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark -- a brand on their souls," much like this exposition is doing to me. Bobby continues that whoever did this had big plans conducting this "Rising of the Witnesses," which figures into an ancient prophecy. Dean wants to know what book the prophecy is from. Bobby says, "The widely distributed version is just for tourists you know, but long story short -- Revelations," the implication being that there are secret portions of the book not available to the more mundane among us. Bobby's been so awesome this episode that I won't mock him for bungling the book's name, which is Revelation. I'll save that for the writers, instead. Sigh. Bobby says this is a sign of apocalypse. Sam and Dean search their souls, each for their own reasons, and we hear the METAL TEETH CHOMP! around their brains.
Dean's beside himself. "Apocalypse? As in apocalypse apocalypse? As in four horsemen, pestilence, 5 dollar a gallon gas apocalypse?" You mean he doesn't know? It was pretty high when he went south. Is this why they had him sleeping when the boys drove into the Gas & Save? Bobby says that's the one, and explains that the rise of the witnesses is a mile marker. When Sam asks what they should do now, Dean says, "Pfffft. Road Trip. Grand Canyon. Star Trek Experience. Bunny Ranch." Bobby's still thinking with his big head, so he suggests they survive their friends out there, first. He's found a spell that should work (although 'should' doesn't fill Sam with confidence) and thinks he has everything they need in the house. When Dean asks if there's any chance they have everything they need in that room, Bobby says, "You thought our luck was going to start now, all of a sudden?" He really is just like a father to them. The spell has to be cast over an open fire so they'll have to do it over the fireplace in the library. The library? Bobby's got a brazillion wrecks in his back yard, three shirts, two pairs of pants, one fricking baseball cap, and a house with stained glass windows and a library. Isn't that just the way? Dean leans his head into his hand like he's got the world's worst migraine. "This is not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know?" And yet, still better than Hell, I'd wager, so quit your bitching, Dean, and get moving.
Leaving the panic room, the men operate like the well-oiled machine they are when they're at their best. Bobby warns them to aim carefully and not run out of ammo until he is done, or the ghosts will shred them. They make their way to the staircase without event, but once there, encounter Ron. Poor Ron. He looks up and says, "Hey, Dean, do you remember me?" all sweetly. Dean flashes back to the hostage situation in the bank where Ronald ended up taking a bullet. Dean's face lights up. "Ron, with the laser eyes? I wish I could say it was good to see you." Ron's face changes from sweet to hateful. "I am dead because of you. You were suppose to HELP ME!" Bam, a shotgun blasts salt right through and Ron's gone. Again. Bobby scolds Dean. "If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk."
They rush to the library and each man does his appointed task: setting out the books; laying out salt; kindling the fire. Bobby directs Sam upstairs to get his red hex box out of the linen closet and Sam's off like a flash. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. The Shining Twins materialize in the library and call Bobby by name. Dean gets them both with one shot, but we hear their evil giggles even after they're gone. He sends Dean to the kitchen cutlery drawer to retrieve hemlock, opium, and wormwood from its false bottom. Dean stops to say, "Opium?" but Bobby barks at him to go. I don't blame you, Bobby. It's not like they're new at this. Bobby's reading the book and drawing on his desk blotter with some chalk, when the Shining Twins return. "Bobby, you walked right by us. Blah blah blah. You're so mean. You let us die. You big stinker. I'm telling mommy. Waaah." Bobby's shaken, and possibly more sympathetic than I. He grabs his rifle, but does nothing more.
Upstairs, Sam makes his way to the linen closet, and as soon as he finds the hex box who should appear but the lovely Miss Meg Masters. Finally, it's her turn with Sam. "You know what really pisses me off, Sam?" He shoots her and she poofs. Then she shows up right behind him. "You saw how I suffered for months. I thought you must have learned something. I thought I died for something. But what you're doing, with that demon, Ruby? How many innocent bodies has Ruby burned through for kicks?" A cheer goes up from the forums, where people have been asking about the demon hosts at least since Sam put a bullet in the Crossroads Demon. "How many girls like me? And you don't send her back to Hell? You're a monster!" This wounds Sam, but it's just a flesh wound. He takes aim and blows her away.
In the kitchen, Dean searches the silverware drawer and the door between the kitchen and library slams shut. Bobby calls out to him, but Dean shouts back that he's alright and to keep working. Dean finds what he's looking for, just as Henrickson finds him. "Victor." "Dean." Dean gulps, swallows hard, and says he knows. When Henrickson says he doesn't know, Dean says, "It's my fault your dead. I left you behind. The minute I heard about that explosion I thought I should have known. I should have protected you." He tries to grab the cast iron frying pan all stealthy-like, but Henrickson uses some mad ghost power to fling it across the room, out of reach. He wants Dean to know they didn't all die in a beautiful blast of white light. For over 45 minutes, Lilith had Lilith-style 'fun' with them. "The secretary was first. Remember her? Nancy? The virgin? Lilith flayed Nancy's skin off piece by piece," or possibly filleted, but flayed makes more sense, doesn't it? They all had to watch. Victor is so angry. He reaches right into Dean's body and before he rips out his heart, he demands to know how it's fair that Dean gets saved from Hell, gets another chance, but he doesn't. Dean struggles against the pain of having a huge human, if ghostly, fist through his side. Victor turns his head to find himself face to face with Sam's rifle/shotgun/shootystick, and BOOM, bye bye Victor. Dean falls to the floor in agony, and Sam drops to his knees to see if he's alright. Dean says, "No," so Sam helps him to his feet and they return to the...
...library. Ronald shows up again, and Dean tells him he thought they were pals. Ron says, "That's when I was breathing. Now I'm going to eat you alive," and the psychotic look on is face sends shivers down my spine so I close my eyes and say, "It's only Vincent," over and over again until I can continue. Then I go upstairs and check on my sleeping husband. Then I go to the kitchen for a drink of water. Then I go back out to the kitchen looking for a piece of hard candy. That's how scary Ron was. I remember in the first season, when this show used to scare me as a matter of course. It's been a long time since I've felt that way. Good show...show. Welcome back. Dean shines his best wise-ass grin at Ron and says, "Well, ha, I'm not a cheeseburger." Although there have undoubtedly been some comparisons to meat made in the fandom, they probably weren't talking cheeseburgers, either. Dean takes aim and...
Ron's not there. Bobby starts Latinating. Perhaps he's incanting in some other language; it sounds too guttural to be Latin. I wonder if it could be Hebrew or Aramaic. The windows and shutters fly open. Books fall. The pages in Bobby's spell book blow. The salt line starts to blow away. Bobby soldiers on. Meg appears. Sam takes her out with one shot. BOOM. up is Henrickson and ditto. BOOM. Meg reappears, and I think Dean gets her this time, but it's not clear. All that's clear is the BOOM! comes Ron. Big, bad Ron. Dean takes him out. BOOM. The boys are shooting left and right now. BOOM. Bobby only flinches once or twice. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. Shots fly. BOOM. Casings fall. BOOM. Salt blows. BOOM. Bobby incants. BOOM. The boys shoot. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM a hundred times BOOM. Henrickson appears and whisks Dean's gun away with his ghostly powers. Holy crap. That's so not fair. Dean tries his handgun. It's empty. He grabs a fireplace poker and - swwwwwp - Victor's gone again. Sam shoots Ron. He needs to reload. Meg shows up and uses her ghostly powers to slide a desk at Sam, trapping him against the wall. Dean shouts his name, but Sam tells him to cover Bobby, which is really smart -- you know, like these boys both must actually be to have stayed alive even this long (if you don't count the first death for either of them, that is).
As Dean covers Bobby, the Shining Twins appear atop the desk to glower at Sam. His face shows signs of struggle, but I can't decide if he's trying to summon some of his questionable powers, or is just in a lot of pain. To be frank, he's just making his constipated face. Meg appears behind Bobby and sticks her hand right in his back, just as he's holding the magical mixing bowl over his head. It starts to fall and he cries out to Dean who makes a spectacular dive and save. Bobby shouts, "Fireplace," so Dean dutifully empties the contents into the flames. There's a flash of greenish white light, and you can almost see what appears to be an X-ray image of Bobby, who howls in pain. When the light fades, the ghosts are all gone and Bobby falls to the floor. Sam and Dean each look to the other, and then Dean yells, "Bobby!" He crawls to him. Sam unpins himself from between the desk and wall, and goes to Bobby, also. The two boys help him up and although he's still in pain, it seems he'll live. Today. You know someday this show is going to kill off Bobby, because that's just how evil Kripke is. He'll never let Dean and Sam out of his METAL TEETH CHOMP!
At dawn, the parts of Sam that fit are sleeping on the couch. Dean is sleeping on the floor, which is still way better than being in Hell. But I'm sorry, you mean to tell me that in that great big house with a library and stained glass windows, that's big enough to contain an iron-clad, rather spacious panic room in its cellar, there isn't a spare room where Sam and Dean could crash? Sheesh. Bobby is awesome, but his hospitality sucks. Dean might have been better off sleeping in Metallicar, and I bet Baby would have slept better that way, too. Dean's eyes open as if to agree with me, or maybe it's because the sound of the wind blowing disturbs his slumber. He blinks and looks over his pillow to see the shadowy figure of Castiel (yay!) standing in the unlit kitchen. After Dean glances at Sam and sees he's still asleep, he silently makes his way to his heavenly visitor.
Castiel congratulates him for doing an excellent job with the witnesses. Dean is incensed. "You were hip to all this?" When Castiel says he was made aware, Dean sneers, "Well thanks a lot for the angelic assistance. You know I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest." Castiel blinks slowly as if he's gathering his strength to deal with a difficult child. "But you didn't." Dean's not backing down. "I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings. Halos. You know, Michael Landon. Not dicks. Yeah he did. Castiel says, "Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier." Dean gives it right back to him. "Yeah, then why didn't you fight?" Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Dean, play nice with the pretty angel. You don't want to end up back in perdition, do you? Castiel is getting pissed. "I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns." Dean scoffs at that, because there were people getting torn to shreds, and adds the kicker. "And by the way, when all this is going on, where the Hell is your boss -- huh -- if there is a God?" I check to make sure I'm wearing my cross.
Castiel confirms in no uncertain tone that there is a God, but Dean remains unconvinced. He wants to know if there is a God what exactly he's waiting for -- genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The fandom getting itself in the tizzy based on vague spoilers? The apocalypse? He wants to know at what point God will intervene, but he's a bit blunter than that, because he's Dean. Castiel starts, "The Lord works..." and Dean interrupts. "If you say, 'mysterious ways' so help me, I will kick your ass." Oh, Dean. I wish Sam would wake up and talk some sense into you. Castiel throws his hands up as if to say he's had it, while the enormity of what he's just said sinks back into Dean's gorgeous but terribly hard head. He swiftly changes the topic. "So Bobby was right - about the witnesses? This is some kind of sign of the apocalypse?" Castiel says that's why they're here. There are big things afoot and while Dean might not want to know what kind of things, he needs to know. He explains that the Rising of the Witnesses is one of the 66 seals and those seals are being broken by Lilith. Dean realizes that she did the spell and rose the witnesses. Castiel tells him it didn't just happen there -- 20 other hunters are dead. Dean figures she picked victims the hunters couldn't save, so they'd barrel right after the hunters. Castiel says she has a sense of humor. I think the word he's looking for is whimsy.
Although Dean, Bobby and Sam put those victims back to rest, it doesn't matter -- the seal was broken. Castiel explains that the seals are like locks on a door. When the last one is opened, Lucifer will walk free. Dean says, "Lucifer? I thought Lucifer was just a story they told at Demon Sunday School. There's no such thing." Castiel says, "Three days ago, you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we're here, walking among you now, for the first time in 2000 years?" Dean whispers, "To stop Lucifer." When Castiel confirms this, Dean gets all pissy again. "Well, bang up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. Nice." Castiel says they tried -- that there are other battles and seals -- some they'll win; some they'll lose. This one they lost. When Dean scoffs at him, Castiel draws even more near. "Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week." I've been sitting here wondering how an angel dies for longer than I care to admit, because it just makes no sense, so let's pretend I've made a funny comment and move forward. "You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture, here." He pauses, and then in an oh-so-measured and menacing tone says, "You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in." The people in the forums bicker whether this is blackmail or just a kick-ass threat. The people in my head tell me to finish this frigging recap of this wonderful episode, so I can get some sleep. Dean looks sore afraid. And he totally should. As this is sinking in, Dean is left standing in Bobby's kitchen, looking left and right.
He wakes with a start, still on the floor, and looks out to the kitchen again. Sam's walking in with a cup of coffee, and Dean realizes it was just a dream, but when dealing with an angel, that doesn't mean it wasn't real at the same time. Sam can tell he's upset, and asks him what's wrong. Dean squints like he's trying not to cry. "So, you got no problem believing in God and angels?" Sam says, "No, not really." Dean's got a follow-up. "So, I guess that means you believe in the devil? Sam says, "Why are you asking me all this," but Dean just shakes his head and stares off, trying to take it all in, because Sam and Dean wouldn't be Sam and Dean if they kept one another abreast of pertinent information. Fade to black.
Demian is the real Supernatural recapper. Raoul is his imaginary gay dragon on the Internet, and apparently Cindy is Raoul's nemesis, or scapegoat, or something. She's also substituting for Demian until he gets himself back in Sam Winchester Shoulder shape, and normally weecaps How I Met Your Mother. You can e-mail her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, even if it's to tell her how much you miss Demian. She agrees, completely and feels a bit like Raoul must have while facing the scourge of dragonkind (i.e. little girls), at the thought of submitting this recap for publication. Our Senior Editor's a real Angel, which could be comforting or scary, depending on your perspective.
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