The morning after the cutting of the power, Ava wakes up early. She rolls over in bed to discover Derrick sleeping there. Now that's a one-night stand to regret! Oh, I'm sorry. Is it too early in the recap for an incestuous pedophilia joke? Ava goes up to Nikki's room, but Nikki isn't there. Ava calls her name. Jay comes into the house and says that Nikki's outside. Ava starts to run out there, but Jay advises her, "I know last night was rough, but you can't make it happen. You have to let it happen." Susannah calls out to remind Ava that they have that airport meeting with a famous designer in about two hours. I seriously think the wardrobe and hair departments hate Merrin Dungey. She now has her hair in a ponytail or bun or something with these tendrils hanging down in the front, but the tendrils are like, the size of Cleveland and they look like wings. Get a bobby pin or a barrette or something and tame those things before the ocean breezes pick her up and sail her off to Catalina.
Nikki stands outside and stares at the water. Three teenage girls walk down the beach giggling. What self-respecting teenager would be awake that early? One girl breaks off from the pack and walks over to say hello to Nikki, who is all squinty, even thought it's totally overcast and not sunny at all. ["That facial expression made her look like she was having a colonoscopy, like, if the hair and makeup departments hate Dungey, the lighting department must LOATHE Kay Panabaker not to put up a filter or something." -- Wing Chun] Friendly Girl asks if Nikki just moved in, and Nikki says that she lives in Kansas. Friendly Girl just says, "Oh." Awkward silence. Squinty Nikki. Finally, Friendly Girl says goodbye and runs back to her friends. Nikki squints after them, which causes a giant wrinkle to pop out in her forehead, and some sort of weird lump appears. She really is a strange-looking child.
Jay and Johnny jog down the beach together. Are we sure that those two aren't involved? Like, maybe Ava turned Johnny against all women? Anyway, Bradin catches up to them and asks for advice about women. Boy, did he pick the wrong two guys to ask! Johnny immediately advises Bradin to think about something else, like baseball. The interesting thing is that the captioning had him saying, "If she's pregnant, it's her choice what to do about it." I guess they changed the line at the last minute, which was a good decision, because that is highly inappropriate. Jay thinks what Johnny said was still inappropriate, and they really need to decide which one of them is going to be the immature, goofy one, because they've been making that Jay so far. Bradin says that it is about a girl. Jay points out that he and Johnny are not exactly experts, but Johnny tells Bradin to spill it. Bradin asks, if a girl is really hot, and a guy doesn't have a chance, should he ask her out anyway? Didn't he have a girlfriend back in Kansas? Did he just dump her when he moved? Because while that would make sense, it's not what most teens would do. Johnny thinks Bradin should go for it. Jay thinks Bradin should play it cool and let the woman come to him. Again, their advice goes against everything we know about these two, and should have been reversed. Johnny and Jay decide to race up the stairs for some unknown reason, and Bradin does the bad-actor thing of pinching the bridge of his nose to indicate...some emotion. See: Wiggins, Wiley in Dazed and Confused.
Ava comes downstairs and finds Nikki in the kitchen. Ava starts babbling about how "the Canadians pulled out of Johnny's deal." Oh, those Canadians. Always pulling out of deals and suchlike. I still have no idea what Johnny does. Ava explains that Derrick and Nikki have to go to the airport while Ava and Susannah have their meeting. Nikki says she promised Derrick that they would dig for crabs. This is where I would say, "Okay, but things change, so you're going with us." Or, I would drag Bradin back from wherever the hell he is, so he could watch them. Ava tries to negotiate, which is her first mistake. Susannah gets into it too, but Nikki isn't having it. Nikki makes the excuse that she thinks Derrick has sunstroke, and Ava totally falls for it and rushes over to feel Derrick's forehead. Nikki bitches that Ava needs a thermometer, and then acts disgusted that Ava doesn't have a first aid kit. Is there usually a thermometer in a first aid kit? Isn't that more like bandages and ointments and ice packs and stuff? Susannah rolls her eyes. Derrick insists that he's okay, and Susannah is glad to hear it. Nikki says that when Derrick was really sick before, he still said that he was okay, even when he had to be hospitalized. Susannah reminds Ava of their appointment. Ava tells Derrick to stick out his tongue and say "aah." Nikki bitches that Ava doesn't know what she's looking for. Ava is fed up and says that things will be fine, and that they need to get going. Nikki keeps making excuses, and asks if Susannah can just take the clothes and go without Ava. Ava explains that they're selling themselves. So, they're prostitutes now? At least that explains how they can afford the rent on this beach house. Ava asks Nikki again to get in the car. Nikki says no and walks away. Oh, no she didn't! Ava should slap the taste right out of her mouth. Instead, Ava tells Susannah that she'll be fine on her own. Susannah starts to argue, but sees the look on Ava's face and makes up the excuse that Ava had to go to New York to meet with Donna Karan. Wow. I can't believe they let Nikki get away with that shit. Way to teach her that she rules the household.
Nikki walks through Ava and Susannah's studio, and Susannah asks for her help. For some reason, Susannah has her hair in a ponytail with a chiffon scarf in it, like she's on the set of Happy Days. She should tell Nikki to sit on it. Susannah asks Nikki's opinion on a sketch. Nikki says she doesn't know, and adds that "emperors of the world" don't know much about fashion. Susannah apologizes for her remark, and tries to discuss Nikki's attitude, but Nikki gets pissed that Susannah calls her "sweetheart" and "honey" and stomps off. Ava walks upstairs and asks what happened. Susannah lies that Nikki is going to take a nap. This is clearly going to be one of those shows that pisses me off, because if these people actually, you know, talked to each other like adults once in a while, they would cut their problems in half. But instead, they lie and misdirect and avoid, and it's annoying.
Derrick digs through a box of toys until he finds a pair of sunglasses. He puts them on. Johnny watches, then shakes his head, and sits down in a chair to read the paper. Derrick is wearing women's sunglasses, and they are a cat's-eye shape with rhinestones in the corners. Is that supposed to be funny? It's creepy.
Nikki schleps some laundry downstairs. Bradin runs in and wants to give her a high five. She asks if he's wearing cologne, and Bradin says that it's aftershave. Nikki asks where he's going. Bradin doesn't tell her at first, and then admits that he's going to hang out with a friend down at the pier, not that it's her business. Nikki drops her laundry basket and yells that Bradin seems to have completely forgotten about their parents. Bradin says that she can't tell him how to show his feelings, and that he misses his parents every second. Nikki asks if their dad would be out partying right now if one of his children died. I don't think their dad did much partying, period. Bradin retorts that their mom wouldn't be acting like "some psycho control freak." Nikki starts slapping Bradin, and he grabs her arms and yells that she's not his mother. Nikki totally loses it and starts yelling that nobody cares about her parents. Ava runs in and breaks it up. Bradin says he's going down to the pier to watch volleyball. Ava tries to act like she cares, but Bradin says he'll be with his surfing teacher, and takes off.
Nikki pouts on the couch. Ava tries to explain that everybody handles grief differently. Susannah suggests that Nikki get out and see friends as well, and offers up a friend's daughter as a potential playmate. Nikki bitches that Susannah doesn't know anything about Nikki. She adds, "If you knew the first thing about guys, you wouldn't be sharing a house with a bunch of your friends at this point, now would you?" Man, where did she learn to be such a bitch? ["Although...she does kind of have a point." -- Wing Chun] Ava tells Nikki to shut up, and says that there's no excuse for that kind of rudeness and cruelty. Nikki tries to run up to her room, but Ava forbids it. Ava reminds Nikki that everyone feels a loss, but that everyone else is trying to make the situation work. She accuses Nikki of pushing people around, and tells her to step up and act like a member of the family. Ava concludes that Nikki is acting like "a selfish baby." Nikki runs off, and Susannah looks all disappointed, like everything Ava just said wasn't true. Susannah should have applauded.
Johnny runs in and asks if Derrick came inside. They realize that Derrick is gone, and run out to the beach.
Upstairs, Nikki sobs in her bed.
Meanwhile, Derrick walks down the beach, wearing an outfit that no nine-year-old boy would ever wear. It's a short-sleeved button down shirt with matching patterned shorts and sandals. He looks like a miniature Miami retiree. Derrick spots a rock in the ocean and wades out.
Ava and Johnny question Creepy Friend about the location of Suicide Rock. Creepy Friend must be a bad actor (must be?) because they use the same clip of him twice in a row, but cut it to look different. Weak. Luckily, there are only two rocks in all of California! Johnny and Ava run off to check the two rocks, while Susannah calls the lifeguards.
Bradin wanders down to the restaurant where he's supposed to meet Erica. Some chick with big boobs skates by and gives him the eye. Okay, that lady was clearly in her twenties, and Bradin looks about fourteen. Inappropriate! Also, what was that about? Bradin walks into the restaurant and looks around for Erica. He spots her at the bar and starts walking over. As he gets closer, he sees Erica leaning in to kiss someone. It's Jay! I'm totally shocked! Except not at all. They should have had Erica kissing a girl. That would've been slightly shocking, and also lesbian kisses are ratings gold. Maybe Erica could have kissed the girl with the big boobs who just skated by. I'm just brainstorming here. Anyway, after the kiss, Jay totally checks out a nearby waitress's ass, and Bradin walks out in disgust. He walks over to a cooler and grabs a beer from someone. After two slugs, he grabs another beer and runs off. Wouldn't people notice someone stealing beer like that? Especially a clearly underage kid? It must be, like, Pabst Blue Ribbon or Milwaukee's Best or something.
Elsewhere, Derrick climbs up onto a rock and dons his ladies' sunglasses in preparation for the bright light. Come on, high tide!
Ava and Johnny reach the second rock in California, and they find Derrick. They wade out into the water, which is up to like their knees, and grab Derrick. He asks if he's in heaven yet, and Ava responds, "No, honey. You're here on earth with me, where you belong." Hee! Bad writing. At their urging, Derrick immediately hops down, totally giving up on his suicide plans. Where is his commitment? He's never going to get anywhere without determination. Anyway, the group wades back onto the beach as Susannah watches.
Cut to later that night, where Susannah is talking on the phone to someone at a rental agency that is apparently open all night. Susannah is looking for a new place to live. Hey, so is Johnny! So is Ava. For some reason, all of the rental agents want to know why they're leaving their current situation, like a real rental agent would give a shit. Jay goes online to find a new roommate. By the way, Jay is twenty-seven, and his reason for leaving his current residence is, "I royally messed up." Yeah, that'll get you lots of potential roommates. Susannah's reason is to save an old friendship. Johnny says he's "not fit for service," which makes it sound like he has erectile dysfunction. Maybe that's why Ava dumped him! Ava says that her current place doesn't allow kids. I still want to know what kinds of rental places are open in the middle of the night.
Johnny stares out his bedroom window. Derrick just barges into his room, like, didn't the kid learn his lesson when he walked in on Ava naked? Actually, I guess he did learn his lesson. Derrick asks Johnny if he wants to watch television. They end up watching the weather, as Johnny explains that you can't blink in real estate, and that you can't sell anything near a hillside when it rains, but sometimes you don't get advance notice. Derrick guesses that Johnny lost money. Johnny says that he did, but makes Derrick swear not to tell. So Johnny is secretly poor? Derrick asks Johnny if he went on a date last night, and Johnny admits that he did, and then asks Derrick if he's dating anyone. Derrick laughs and says no, and that was the one moment when that kid seemed natural, so I'm guessing the line was ad-libbed. Derrick asks why Johnny isn't dating Ava. Johnny carefully answers that he dated Ava in college and a little in law school. I'm going to assume that he went to law school, but Ava didn't. Anyway, Johnny says he doesn't date Ava anymore because he likes her too much. Derrick is understandably confused. Johnny explains that he's worried he might hurt her feelings. Derrick says that she might hurt hers. Johnny says that relationships are difficult for some people. Derrick asks if it's like a disease, and Johnny agrees. Derrick hopes Johnny is cured, because he's comfortable with Johnny. Is Derrick saying that he wants to be in a relationship with Johnny? Is it still to early in the recap for pedophilia jokes?
The morning, Jay bursts into Bradin's room. Bradin, in the tradition of everyone ever hung over from two beers on television, is lying with his feet on his pillow and his head at the foot of the bed. No one does that. Jay ignores Bradin's pain and opens the blinds as Bradin complains about the noise. Jay offers up a "morning-after tonic" his uncle sent from Australia. Bradin reluctantly starts drinking it as Jay apologizes for his dalliance with Erica. Bradin pissily complains that Erica didn't even mean anything to Jay, and Jay agrees. Bradin wonders if he's supposed to leave Erica for Jay to have. Does Erica get a say in this? Jay says that Bradin is sixteen and has the whole summer ahead of him, and that Erica is too old for him. Jay tries to sell Bradin on the slut lifestyle. Bradin figures out that Jay is the guy who created the bad memories for Erica in Spanish Cove. Jay says he can't help how Erica feels. Bradin threatens to kill Jay if he hurts Erica, and follows up this threat by yakking in the garbage can. Yum.
Ava walks up to Nikki's room and knocks on the door. Nikki doesn't answer, and just hugs her pillow tightly. Ava reports back to the roommates that Nikki hasn't left her room. They all start talking at once, and Ava says she doesn't know what to do. Johnny says he's not exactly a great protector, and Susannah points out that she and Nikki have clashed since day one. Jay concludes that "it's the blind leading the blind." Ava decides to take the kids back to Kansas for a while, and thinks that that will convince Nikki to leave her room. Jay says it'll teach Nikki that throwing a tantrum means that she gets her way. Susannah says that's true, but that Nikki's too young to know that. Yeah, it also makes people hate and resent you, Susannah. Ava says she's going to apologize. Susannah asks if Ava is really sorry, and Ava says that she lost it with Nikki. Johnny says that Ava may have crossed some lines, but so did Nikki. Ava compares the children to "three perfect crystal vases" that she has dropped. Maybe she needs to learn that children aren't inanimate objects that you own. Johnny says that Ava acted real with Nikki for the first time, and that now that she's stopped trying to be Karen, Nikki will respond. Jay says she can't wrap the kids in "cotton wool" and keep them in the basement. But you can wrap them in polyester wool? Jay suggests that Ava do "zero," and Susannah agrees, and then laments that she's agreeing with flaky Jay. Johnny says that as long as Ava loves the kids, everything will be okay. Johnny tells Ava to have faith, because he has faith in her. Jay and Susannah agree.
Nikki watches out the window as the three teenaged girls from earlier play volleyball on the beach.
Downstairs, Bradin sneaks into the kitchen. Ava asks what happened to his surfing lessons. Bradin says that you get knocked around out there. Ava doesn't think he'll break. She sternly says that as long as he's living in the house, he's not allowed to drink alcohol. Bradin doesn't answer.
Down on the beach, Erica asks Bradin why he was late for their lesson. Bradin stammers an excuse, and Erica asks where he was last night, since he promised he wouldn't be a jerky guy. Bradin apologizes and says that something came up at home. Erica says that she made mistakes too, and starts complaining about guys. So are we supposed to think that Erica is a whiny psycho? Or that Bradin has decided to be a slut like Jay? That scene was kind of weird.
Back in the house, Nikki sneaks downstairs. She's got her hair pulled back in a headband, so we know that, like Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club, she's had a personality change. Nikki heads for the door then changes her mind and starts to go back up the stairs. She spots the first aid supplies that Ava bought, and smiles.
Derrick walks into the living room and asks Ava why she and Johnny broke up. Um, none of your goddamn business? This kid must have watched a lot of soap operas back in Kansas, because he knows a whole lot about adult relationships. Ava stammers a non-response until Bradin walks in and says that he's starving. Derrick gets distracted and says that he's hungry too. Nikki tries to sneak into the room, and Derrick asks her what's for lunch. Nikki admits that she doesn't know. Everyone is shocked! Ava makes up an answer, and the kids agree. Everyone smiles. The phone rings, and Derrick checks the Caller ID and sees that it's Playa Rentals and Roommates. Johnny, Jay, and Susannah all deny that it could be for them. Derrick answers and says that it's someone returning Susannah's call from the night before. Nikki picks up the phone and says that one of Susannah's current roommates was really horrible, but now that roommate is really sorry and hopes that Susannah doesn't need a new place now. Susannah grins, and Nikki hangs up. The music is all plucky like that was hilarious or something.
Johnny asks if everyone wants to kayak to Pelican Island this weekend. Why wait until the weekend? It's not like any of them has a job. Bradin thinks that sounds fun. Jay wants to go see some Jackie Chan movies, and Derrick is totally into it. Susannah gets Nikki to agree to go to a giant flea market. Ava smiles, having successfully pawned off the kids on her roommates, so now she can take a nap. Or maybe I'm projecting.
week: Ava gets laid. Nikki gets a boyfriend. Bradin smokes pot and gets punched in the face. See you there!