All right. Before starting these "classic" recaps or whatever MBTV calls them, I wondered what to do about the fact that I know how some of the ongoing plots are going to turn out. I figured maybe I should do my best to pretend I don't know what's going to happen with Dana's Dating Plan, for instance, but then I decided that really wasn't going to be all that feasible and I know I'd probably slip up at some point. What I was REALLY worried about was getting e-mail from some hardcore fan saying, "Um, excuse me Mr. Recapper, in your latest so-called 'classic' recap, you refer to Casey as Rectangle Head, only Dana didn't point out his head's similarity to a rectangle until six episodes from this one. Kindly be more careful in the future." So if anyone gets the urge to point that kind of stuff out, SAVE IT.
, I want to give a big shout-out to zapatos for providing me with a tape of the beginning of Season 2.
Since this is the first recap I've done since Rocket Richard passed away, I wanted to dedicate this recap to him and also to my dad, since Richard was one of my dad's childhood heroes. It's impossible to overstate just how important Richard was to Quebec in particular and Canada in general as one of the greatest hockey players the game has ever known.
This episode begins with a montage of clips set to a vaguely bittersweet Las-esque song and little subtitles let us know that time is passing: Day 23, Day 40, Day 71, etc. Throughout these clips Rectangle Head's obsession with Dana is revealed, and since I guess last season it was established that he actually is in love with her, I suppose it's okay, but if you didn't know that, you might think this guy was stalking her. He keeps sneaking glances at her while she goes about her daily business. He also writes stuff. A journal, haiku, I don't know. On Day 71, he walks into her office and puts a card and a yellow rose on her desk. Moments later, he returns to take the card back and, as an afterthought, the rose as well. On Day 79, the two of them are in an elevator and going over the rundown. God knows why they would do this in an elevator. Casey interrupts Dana to start to ask her out, I think, because he starts in with that "I was just wondering if --" faux-nonchalant thing guys do when they've been obsessing about women for, oh, eleven weeks and counting. But he's interrupted because the elevator dings and a bunch of people crush on, so I guess this is why they're contrivedly doing the rundown in an elevator. This is supposed to be funny or poignant, I can't tell which. I rolled my eyes, though. I don't know if eye-rolling is considered an emotion. Day 86, at Anthony's, Dana is guzzling her ever-present martini and Casey is staring at her from across the bar and I guess he's going to make a move now because we get a weird making-his-move-now close-up of Casey as he sets his drink down and as he looks up again, some guy is talking to Dana. Casey shrugs and picks up his drink again.
Special Powers
scene, Casey is watching Dana via his makeup mirror. There's a hand on his shoulder and it's my man Dan, who says, "It's been ninety days," yet strangely we didn't get a "Day 90" subtitle on the screen. Casey says he knows. "There's a statute of limitations," says Dan. "So you say," says Casey. ". . . and it's been ninety days." Casey doesn't want to talk about it and Dan says some stuff to the effect that "the time is right" and "I don't want you to be scared" or some such as they sit at their on-air desk. In the control room, Dana blows in and says she's shuffling the ten block and we get the requisite sports channel jargon for a while. Will gets a line. Or was it Chris? It's been a while since I've done a recap and I'm forgetting the Tertiary Character's names. Dana looks at a monitor and asks where the network feed is. Chris says, "We're on lumber sports," which means something to Dana, but I don't know what. Dana walks over to the desk and tells Dan and Casey that "Dinardio's confirmed" so they're going to lead with it. Casey wants to lead with the Jets. "Why?" asks Dana. "'Cause it's a better story," says Casey. "Really good point, Casey, and thanks for the tap on the shoulder," says Dana, whatever that means, as she winks at him and I'm not sure why she's winking at him either. "Now lead with Dinardio. And fix your tie!" she calls over her shoulder as she walks back into the control room. Jeremy comes in to tell Dana he has a new top story. Jeremy's new top story is a Chinese swimmer swimming the Taiwan Strait and he blah blahs about the politics of it as Dana just stares at him. When she doesn't say anything, he says, "Aren't you going to give it to Dan and Casey?" "Not this second," she says, and continues on with her business.
Back at the desk, Natalie shows up and tells them "Nieuwendyk" has eleven strikeouts in the fourth inning, which is quite a feat, I think, because the only Nieuwendyk in sports I can think of is a fine centre for the Dallas Stars who won the Conn Smythe trophy when the Stars won the Stanley Cup in 1999. Dan and Casey send her to find Dana but when she does, Dana isn't interested even though Natalie says he's on pace to break the record. Dana says when he breaks the record, they'll break the story. Jeremy's still pushing for his stupid swimmer story and I buy Jeremy being interested in this story, but why he honestly thinks it should be the lead on a New York-based sports show is beyond me. Dana basically has to tell both Jeremy and Natalie to shut up. Natalie seems a little pissed at Jeremy and calls him "Chun King." Dana calls Dan on the microphone. He says, "Got it, we're changing the lead to Nieuwendyk." Dana says they're not, the lead is staying as it is. Casey says, "Keep it at the Jets?" like what is wrong with all these subordinates here? She's the boss. The boss is starting to seem a little steamed. Thirty seconds live. At the desk, the last-minute hair-check women are attending to Dan and Casey. Or maybe the women are fluffers. Dan and Casey are practising their intro. Fluffer Allison tells them they're all set, and Casey starts bragging about how they're going without a script for eighteen seconds. Wow. Who says there are no heroes anymore? Dana says, "You guys know what you're doing?" They both say yes. They go live, and both of them say the intro simultaneously and then practically start giggling as Dana buries her head in her hands. Eventually they outro to commercial. Dana lifts her head and asks, "Is it over yet?" And both anchorknobs say, "All right, that was totally his fault!" Yep, at the same time. Dana buries her head again. Commercials.