By Kim
Things are still hot between New York and New Jersey. Tony has Phil's wire room blown up, and Phil wants revenge. Little Carmine arranges a sitdown, and Tony and Phil agree to starting with a clean slate, until stupid Little Carmine brings up Phil's dead brother, and the clean slate is dirty again. Agent Harris warns Tony that New York is looking to take out someone close to Tony. Phil has a massive heart attack. Tony goes to visit him in the hospital and explains that he knows how a near-death experience can change you attitude, and that they should wipe the slate clean for real, but it's unclear whether Phil, and probably more importantly his crew, agree. Meanwhile, Christopher has been dating Julianna, who he met at AA, and keeping it from Tony. Murmur warns Christopher that he's playing with fire -- both because two former users together could easily become current users, and also because Tony will be pissed if he finds out. The first part comes true, when Christopher and Julianna start using again. Christopher comes clean with Tony about his love life, but not the drugs, and Tony pretends to be okay with it, although he confesses to Melfi that he's really not. Adriana's mom tries to commit suicide, which leads to Carmela pushing Tony to hire a private investigator to look into Ade's disappearance. To get her off his back, Tony gets Carm's spec house moving forward. Bobby Bacala goes to see Uncle Junior, but only to return the cash gift a confused Junior sent him. AJ meets a Latina woman on the job, and starts dating her, even though she has a three-year-old kid. He even brings her to Christmas, and the episode ends with the whole family gathered for the holidays.A car pulls up to a beach house at night. At first, I thought it was Vito's beach house, and that his goomar was still there, waiting for Vito to return. Anyway, Carlo enters the house through the garage and goes into a freezer, where he takes out a bunch of brown paper. Which then falls open to reveal Fat Dom's head. Nice. Carlo takes the head to a storm grate somewhere and tries to drop the frozen head inside. Except the head is too big, so he has to kick it in the face to get the head to drop down. And that's about the most violent act you will see in this entire episode, so if you were hoping for a bloody season finale, forget it. Once the task is complete, Carlo calls Sil and informs him that he drove to Connecticut to dispose of "the last." Sil is pleased. Carlo asks whether "the barbecue over in Sheepshead Bay" is still a go, but Silvio's not sure whether Tony ordered it or not. Shouldn't Silvio know these things? The opening scene is set to a Rolling Stones song, and until Mick Jagger started singing, my husband and I were debating who the artist was. The Faces? The Allman Brothers? Government Mule? It could have been anyone, really, which is a testament to the influence of the Stones on popular music -- even if they are kind of scary now.
Anyway, speaking of Sheepshead Bay, Phil and his goomar are there, parking on the street at night. Phil's goomar is kind of old. She also has big feet and really ugly silver pumps. Phil puts his arm around her and escorts her toward his building, but before they can get too close, there's a giant explosion that knocks them both to the ground.
Tony's getting dressed in some apartment, as a woman makes herself a drink at the bar. So I guess he got over the "no cheating on Carmela" thing pretty quickly. I mean, I know he got a blowjob in the last episode, but for some reason that didn't seem the same as screwing somebody. It just seems like Tony's fidelity was a major plot point, and they revealed that he's broken it with a throwaway background shot. Anyway, Benny calls and tells Tony that the bomb went off, and that Phil and his goomar got knocked down. Tony chuckles. Hey, remember when Benny wanted to kill Artie? That whole thing kind of disappeared.
Tony attends a meeting to sign the papers for the sale of his building to Jamba Juice. The lawyers leave, meaning that Tony and Julianna are alone in the room. Tony brings up the night he ran out on her, and apologizes for his conduct. Julianna is all business, and tries to leave. Tony stops her and says that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about her. I read that as, "My dick started working again, and I forgot about that conscience thing I developed earlier this season." Tony asks if she's free for dinner. Julianna smiles and says she'll pass. I mean, seriously. He already signed the papers. She doesn't need to fuck him now! She congratulates Tony on the sale, and walks out.
Christopher and Kelli discuss how to decorate their nursery. Kelli wants to paint Disney characters on the border -- so that tells you pretty much everything you need to know about her right there. Christopher thinks that they should wait to decorate until after the baby is born. I know that's a tradition in some cultures, but it seems like a lot of work at just the time you are most exhausted and least motivated to lift a paintbrush. Kelli thinks that Christopher is being superstitious, but Christopher worries that they'll be left with nothing. Kelli gently says that she's not Adriana, and that everything will be fine. Wow, does she not know how to read him or what? He's not worried that she will leave. He's worried that she won't, and that he's stuck with her and the goddamn Disney characters forever.
Carmela goes to the hospital to visit Adriana's mom, because she tried to kill herself. There's no conversation, because Liz is asleep, or drugged, and under soft restraints.
At home, Carmela unloads groceries. Tony wanders in wearing his robe and asks whether AJ got off to work okay. He actually notices that Carmela is upset about something! Points for Tony. Carmela tells Tony that Liz got a letter sent to Adriana asking for a donation for the Salvation Army, and it caused Liz to attempt suicide. Tony doesn't really get what the big deal is, since everyone knows that Liz is a crazy drunk. Carmela warms to her subject and reminds Tony that Liz thinks that Ade is dead, and that Carm had a dream about Ade being dead while she was in Paris. Tony gets angry and says the facts are that Ade couldn't stand her drunk mother and moved away. Carm reminds Tony that Meadow just moved across the country, so daughters leaving their mothers is a sensitive topic for her right now. Tony points out that the two issues are unrelated. Carm agrees, and apologizes, saying that she's got a lot on her plate right now, what with the holidays approaching and no spec house. Tony consoles Carm by pointing out that she raised two beautiful kids, has a husband that loves her, and created a beautiful home, which has to count for something. Well, she's got two kids, but I wouldn't call them both beautiful. And she has a husband who claims to love her, but his actions don't really follow. And her home? Kind of ugly. He hugs Carm, but she doesn't exactly agree with him.
Tony, Bobby, Christopher, and AJ sit around in the media room, watching football on TV. Tony pegs AJ with some popcorn, and AJ curses up a storm. Tony sends him in for more snacks. Once AJ is out of the room, Tony asks Christopher about his new goomar. Christopher is surprised Tony knows about it, but admits that he needed to find some action on the side because the "playground's closed" and "a man has his needs." Okay, pregnant women can still have sex. I can't believe how many men I've met who didn't know that. It's after they give birth that you have to wait for the okay from the doctor. Although from what I've heard, especially during the first trimester, between the exhaustion and the nausea, sex isn't high on the list of priorities for some women. Not that I'm excusing Christopher for cheating on his wife. Anyway, Tony commiserates, saying that when Carmela was working on the spec house, she had no time for him. Bobby wonders why Christopher hasn't brought his new goomar around. Christopher says that she's black, and even though she's "hot" and "classy", he doesn't want to have to listen to Paulie's racism. Tony agrees, and says that it wouldn't be fair to the girl. I wonder how far in advance Christopher planned that lie, because for him, it was actually pretty good.
AJ does something at the construction site. Paulie shows up in a shiny car. A hot young Puerto Rican woman walks out of a trailer, and AJ can't stop staring at her. The girl hands Paulie an envelope and gives him a kiss on the cheek. AJ introduces himself, and the girl, Blanca, says that she just did his new hire paperwork. Paulie gets a phone call from his urologist (and what's going on with the cancer? Update please!) so Blanca heads back to the trailer, but she and AJ continue to stare at each other.
And what they clearly wish they were doing is what Christopher and Julianna are currently doing: fucking. Hey, Julianna's not black! Christopher lied! Anyway, they're both still mostly dressed, which means either that they couldn't control themselves long enough to take a few more clothes off, or that they both have no-nudity clauses in their contracts. They finish, and chuckle over their lack of patience. Julianna asks what they're doing, and Christopher says that he doesn't know, but he can't stop thinking about fucking her. Julianna feels guilty that he's married. Didn't she have a fiancé, or was that just a ruse made up to deter Tony? Christopher says that he rushed into marriage, and Julianna thinks that he needs to give it a chance to work. Christopher says, "I don't want a family with her. She's got no idea who I am." And he's right, but as Julianna quickly points out, "My wife doesn't understand me" is the oldest adultery excuse in the book.
Phil and his consigliere arrive for a sitdown with Tony and Sil, brokered by Little Carmine. Carmine explains that he prefers to think of this as "a meeting of minds," and gives a speech full of his usual malapropisms, including that "certain incidents have expired [sic] lately" that have affected both of their cash flows. Phil makes a crack about Vito, and Tony gets pissed, pointing out that, despite his gay shortcomings, Vito was a good earner and will be missed for that reason. Phil brings up Fat Dom, and Tony and Sil pretend they don't know what he's talking about. Carmine interrupts to tell them that his father taught him, "A pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold." Everyone pretends to think that over, but really they just look confused. Tony says that he's willing to let the past be the past and start over. Phil agrees. Carmine asks for a truce and says that they should wipe the slate clean. Just as Phil is about to agree to it, Carmine has to bring up Phil's brother, and we know what effect that has on Phil. So Phil gets all pissed off, as usual, and both men stand up. Phil walks out with his crew. Tony asks Carmine what in the hell he was thinking, and Carmine has no response.
AJ goes out to a bar with some co-workers, and they trade stories about nail gun accidents. I've got one for you. My brother-in-law used to be a roofer. One day he started sliding off a roof, and he had a nail gun in one hand so he couldn't exactly grab onto something without dropping the really expensive nail gun. So he nailed his forearm to the roof. That's fucking hardcore. Maybe not the smartest move, but still. Anyway, AJ spots Blanca dancing with a friend nearby. They stare at each other for a while, until Blanca walks over and starts talking to him. AJ is such an idiot that he doesn't say much of anything. Blanca asks him out, but warns him that she has a three-year-old son. AJ is cool with that, so Blanca hands over her phone number. AJ looks at it and tells her that she forgot the last number. Blanca tells him that she did it on purpose, so he'll have to work for it. She's clearly done this before. And also, it's not exactly cracking the Da Vinci code. There are only ten options.
Julianna sits at the conference table in her office, alone. I had to pause it here for recapping purposes, and it's a really beautiful long shot that is somehow reminiscent of an Edward Hopper painting, even though it's a conference room and not a diner. Something about the light and color. Anyway, an assistant tells Julianna that she has an emergency call, and Julianna freaks out and picks up immediately, thinking that it's her father. But it's Tony. Julianna is pissed that he pulled that stunt, and tries to hang up. Tony says there's a warehouse that he's interested in buying. Julianna details everything that's wrong with the property, clearly over doing any kind of business with Tony. However, Tony wants to buy it, fix it, and flip it, letting Julianna take care of both sales. She mulls it over. Tony points out that even if their relationship didn't work out, they did make some money together. Julianna promises to talk to the seller and get back to him. She hangs up and thinks about the implications of doing this deal.
Or Julianna thinks back to how she met Christopher. On first viewing, I had no idea that this was a flashback and was really, really confused. Anyway, Julianna is at an AA meeting describing her aborted encounter with Tony, and how it led to her drinking some champagne. She adds that, given her history, it could have been worse -- it could have been heroin. Well, she is Christopher's dream girl. Outside the meeting, Christopher introduces himself and says that he liked her share, and that it reminded him of his boss. Julianna says that she hasn't heard him share much, and Christopher says that he also attends Narcotics Anonymous, letting her know that he has experience with heroin, too. Julianna wonders where she knows him from, and Christopher admits that he hangs out at Satriale's. Julianna puts the pieces together and says that she'll see him around. Christopher asks her to get some coffee instead, and she agrees. Which leads to them totally doing it in her car outside a diner. Back in the present, Julianna smiles, remembering. That's about when I figured out it was a flashback, because I'm kind of slow.
Tony sits, eating ice cream and watching the History Channel. I would make a macro for that, but this time he's in the living room instead of the media room, so it's kind of different. But not really. He's also watching a special about Lincoln instead of Hitler, and the announcer is saying something about Lincoln suffering from depression, although it could also have been "forced introversion." Carmela walks in, all spiffed up, explaining that she was at the annual Christmas toy drive. She sits down and relates how she met a guy at the event who works for some private investigators, and how he thinks they should hire some guys to find Adriana. Tony scoffs, but Carm is like a dog with a bone here. Tony thinks that it could be "an intrusion into Ade's personal life." Good one. Carmela keeps at him, saying how awesome these detectives are, like that's going to convince Tony of anything. He'd be a lot more likely to hire investigators if they were totally incompetent, no? Seriously, how dumb is she? Do you think she knows and is trying to get Tony to admit it? Or does she know, but won't admit it to herself? Or does she really not know and is honestly worried about Adriana?
Tony walks into the Bing and orders Silvio to go lean on the building inspector regarding Carmela's spec house. Sil's confused at the turnaround, but Tony says that his wife needs a career, leaving out the part where he just wants her to be so busy that she won't have time to think about Adriana and what happened there. The two Middle Eastern guys are there, and they wish Tony happy holidays. No idea what the point of that was, except possibly to remind us that those two exist. Maybe they're working with the Feds. That would be a twist, because all this time I expected them to be terrorists, after the Matush thing last season.
Tony and Julianna check out the warehouse space that Tony is thinking of buying. Julianna wants to talk business, but Tony wants to talk relationship. Julianna gets pissed and tells Tony to move on. Tony says that he's not confused anymore, and Julianna says that she's not either. She slams the key into Tony's hand and tells him to "stick it in the lock box." Heh.
Christopher eats dinner at Julianna's as she reads his movie's screenplay. She really likes it, but she's not sure about the title. Julianna has some other suggestions, and manages to bring it around to a discussion of Tony. Christopher says that the boss in the movie isn't Tony, although there are some similarities. Tony always thinks that everything belongs to him. Julianna kisses Christopher and says that Tony is wrong, meaning that she doesn't belong to Tony. Christopher brings up the unwritten rules of his business, but Julianna doesn't really want to know. Christopher says, "It's just weird, being where he's been." Julianna gets offended and says that Tony hasn't been anywhere, and nothing happened between them. Christopher gently says that Tony has been there in his mind, so it doesn't matter. Julianna is disgusted and walks away. Christopher tries to fill the awkward silence with a joke about Tony and how fat he is, but Julianna doesn't bite. So Christopher walks over and starts kissing her neck. Julianna turns and says firmly, "I'm not a fucking parking spot." They start making out, and Julianna shoves Christopher down on the couch and starts undoing his belt. I like her. I think she's better than Christopher. Funny, I thought the same thing about Adriana in a way. She seems like a smart woman who just makes really bad decisions, and she knows they're bad, but she can't help it. I can relate on some levels. Luckily, I've never been addicted to drugs or slept with a Mafioso, but you know, I'm young. There's time.
AJ is over at Blanca's apartment, watching The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Their good time is interrupted by some thugs hanging out on the street, blasting music loud enough to wake up Blanca's son, Hector. She leans out the window and tells them her kid is sleeping, but they tell her to suck their dick. AJ pretends like he's going to do something about it. Blanca closes the window and says that her ex used to go down and kick their asses. Has she seen AJ? He's about as big as a prepubescent girl. Blanca goes to attend to her crying son while AJ puts on his shoes. Oh, dear. This isn't going to end well.
AJ walks outside and grabs a bike out of the trunk of his car. He approaches the thugs and says that if they will go hang out elsewhere, he'll give them the bike, which is expensive. The thugs think it over and decide to accept the offer. Oh, bullshit. They would beat AJ up, and then take the bike anyway. And probably also steal his car.
Anyway, cut to AJ and Blanca having hot, sweaty sex. Afterwards, AJ asks Blanca whether it bothers her that he's younger than she is. She nonsequiturs that Jesse Ventura was born on his birthday. Huh? Are we supposed to think that she's old, or trashy, or weird, or what? AJ discovers that Blanca remembered his birthday from doing his paperwork, which I guess means that she was interested in him way back then. Because she thought he was cute, or because his last name is Soprano? AJ doesn't question it, which is due to what my guy friends used to call the Power of the P. Blanca asks AJ whether it bothers him that she has a baby, and AJ says that he loves kids. Whatever he has to say to get some more action, right?
Christopher and Julianna had plans to go out, but Christopher thinks that Julianna is too sick to go anywhere. She coughs every time she tries to sit up, and looks like hell warmed over. Christopher tells her that she's grounded, and leaves to get some Robitussin. Julianna yells that the medicine has some really long word in it that would apparently jeopardize her sobriety. Christopher can't stand to see her suffer, and decides to buy it anyway. Julianna calls him back and tells him to get her some valerian tea, because if you put eight to ten bags in a cup, it's like taking a Valium. Okay, but if it's like taking a Valium, then why not just take a Valium? It's not like Valium is physically addictive, right? I just think it's the same thing, substituting one addiction for another. They jointly rationalize that since valerian is all natural, it's not really a drug.
Tony and AJ struggle to put up the Christmas tree. Carm goes through the mail and finds a letter informing her that the stop-work order on her spec house has been repealed, and construction can begin immediately. She realizes it was Tony's doing and gives him a big hug.
Phil and his wife discuss their plans for Christmas Eve. Well, Mrs. Phil goes on and on about shrimp while Phil eats dinner. Their house is not nearly as nice as you would expect, given Phil's position. Phil complains that he doesn't feel well. Their maid walks by, and it's Phil's goomar. Nothing like keeping it in the family. Phil continues to complain about tightness in his chest, but his wife says that he just had a checkup and should be fine. They talk about what Christmas will be like for Vito's family this year, and Mrs. Phil remembers that Vito's daughter sang while Vito played the piano. This inspires Phil to proclaim that he needs to take a shit.
Cut to the hospital, where a doctor is telling Phil that he's not showing any signs of having a heart attack, and that it's probably just indigestion. Reminds me of the time I had girly problems and the doctor told me, without touching any part of my body, that it was heartburn. Cut to twelve hours later, when I'm doubled over in pain in the emergency room, until I got an actual hands-on examination and diagnosis. Thanks, doc!
Julianna parks her car to Christopher's in a parking area somewhere and apologizes for being late. Christopher pulls out some heroin, and they both smoke it. Well that was a quick backslide. So now they make dates to smoke up together? Romantic! They both nod out.
In the middle of the night, Phil wakes up unable to breathe and clutching his chest. His wife rushes him to the emergency room where the same doctor from earlier calls for a crash cart.
Paulie hangs out at the Bing, where the girls on stage are decked out in holiday finery, or lack thereof. He tells Tony that he fucked a girl in a Santa hat once, but he lost his erection because it was too distracting. Yeah, I'm sure that's why, Paulie, and it had nothing to do with the fact that you are scared of women. Murmur comes in and breaks the news about Phil's heart attack. Tony is elated, as everyone else looks kind of disturbed. Sil points out that maybe the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.
Junior sits in his facility, stewing, until Bobby Bacala shows up. Junior is thrilled to have company, and informs everyone that "bacala" means "salted cod," which is actually a discussion that our forum posters had a few weeks back, strangely enough. Bobby and Junior sit down, and Junior starts bitching about his surroundings. Bobby says that he can't stay long, but he wanted to return the cash Junior sent him. Junior says that it was gift for Bobby and Karen, who's dead, so clearly Junior is still suffering from dementia. Bobby can't accept it, since Junior shot Tony. Junior says it's not that simple, and that he might not have been acting alone. Bobby gets frustrated with the JFK shit. Junior starts talking more nonsense, and Bobby leaves over Junior's protests. After Bobby walks out, Junior hands the cash to an orderly nearby and says, "One hand washes the other."
Tony yuks it up with some firefighters outside Satriale's, and then spots Christopher talking to Julianna, who then drives away. Tony asks whether Christopher knows her, and Christopher pretends like he's just remembering that Julianna and Tony had a thing. Tony says that he had to "put her on the shelf." Christopher makes up a story that Julianna is friends with Kaisha, his goomar, and Julianna was asking what to get Kaisha for her birthday. Tony, suspicious, asks about some of the recommendations, and Christopher tries to think what black people might like: " Luther Vandross, boxed set." Tony walks away without a word.
Julianna's apartment is a mess, and so are Christopher and Julianna. All drugged up, they move slowly around the place. Julianna is wearing only a bra and tap pants, and her body looks amazing, but Christopher is too out of it to care. They snuggle on the couch and discuss how well they've been able to integrate using drugs into their lives. Julianna lights a cigarette, and says that they're fine because they don't use needles. Christopher thinks that he should tell Tony they're fucking. Julianna points out that they're not fucking anymore due to the drugs. Christopher is more worried that Tony will find out he's using again. As Christopher worries, Julianna slowly, slowly gets up and crawls across the floor, where she vomits into a garbage can.
Christopher meets up with Tony in the Bing parking lot. They discuss Phil's heart surgery, and then Christopher brings up that he's been seeing Julianna. Tony doesn't seem too surprised, but wants to know why Christopher lied. Christopher says that he wasn't sure how things ended with her and Tony, but now he wants things to be aboveboard. Except for his drug use. Tony says that he doesn't care, and Christopher can do what he wants. Keep telling yourself that.
Tony bitches to Melfi that he was faithful to his Carmela, and now Christopher got the girl he should have had. Melfi says that she thought Tony was going to tell her that he was violent towards his nephew, and reminds him how he thought each day was a gift after he was shot. Tony doesn't get it. Melfi points out that Tony doesn't have to fuck every female he meets. Tony considers, and then says that all of the women he's been involved with were similar: "Dark complexion, smart, they smell a little bit of money." He lists off Melfi, Gloria, and now Julianna. Tony thinks that they're all Melfi substitutes. Melfi apparently refrains from pointing out that they're actually all Livia substitutes.
Christopher and Julianna watch a movie together in a theater. The scene is intercut with them smoking heroin together. And it goes on for...ever.
Tony's in his office, when a guy comes in and says that Agent Harris is out front asking for Tony. Curious, Tony walks out to talk. Agent Harris makes small talk about Phil's heart attack, before dropping the bomb that his agent friends have heard that Tony is not popular in Brooklyn, and someone close to him may be in great danger. Tony doesn't seem to take it seriously, and asks Agent Harris whether he is referring to anyone specific. Agent Harris says that it's "under serious discussion at top levels." Tony isn't quite sure what to make of the message or the messenger. I hope he at least comps Agent Harris's sandwich.
Christopher and Julianna sit at a table in a diner. The shot is from the outside, through the window, and given the scene, I was sure a sniper was going to take Christopher out. Instead, Christopher talks on the phone with Kelli, who is home alone, and bored. Christopher has no time for her, and gets off as quickly as possible. Julianna reminds him that they were talking about recovery and the Family. Christopher tells her how he took an oath by burning a saint and drawing blood, which he's not even supposed to tell her. They discuss the higher power in twelve-step programs. Julianna says that she thinks of the group's consciousness as her higher power. Christopher says that he always thought of his oath to the Family as his higher power. The problem is that nobody lives by the code anymore, including Tony. And now Christopher is using again. Julianna asks whether he's breaking up with her. Christopher thinks about it and says no. They sit in silence for a while, and then Julianna wonders whether they should go to a meeting. Christopher passes the buck to her, and she says that there's one in an hour. Christopher grabs his coat, but doesn't stand. They finally both stand up, but it seems like neither of them really wants to go because they both know that getting sober again means that they can't stay together. Christopher says that they should drive separately, and on repeat viewing, it seems obvious that it's supposed to show that they're splitting apart. But the first time through, I thought maybe one of their cars was going to blow up or something.
Tony shows up at the hospital to see Phil. The New York crew is not happy to see him. Tony walks into the hospital room, where Ginny and Mrs. Phil are sitting with the patient. Tony tries to ask Ginny about John, but she is too upset to talk, and rushes out. Mrs. Phil tells Phil that God loves him, and leaves. Phil looks much like Tony did earlier this season, flat on his back with lots of tubes, but he's conscious and speaking: "Finally got you to come to Brooklyn, cocksucker." Tony leans over very close and quietly tells Phil that he never told anybody, but when he was in the coma, he went someplace that he never wants to go again, and he thinks Phil knows what he's talking about. Phil blinks. Tony grabs Phil's hand and tells him to take his time, get better, and get out of the hospital, and then focus on grandchildren and good things. Tony concludes, "We can have it all, Phil. Plenty for everybody." Phil, who was disgusted by Johnny's tears, lets a tear slide down his face. One of Phil's guys peeks in the door and suggests that Tony let Phil sleep. As Tony walks out, the guy pretends he won't let Tony by, and Tony glowers at him.
Carmela is cleaning out her wallet. She finds the business card of the private investigator they discussed earlier, and sets it aside so she can call someone to do the roof on her spec house.
It's Christmas, and the whole family is gathered at the Soprano house. Bobby Jr. and Sophia sit in the living room, watching A Christmas Carol and Casablanca. Tony and Bobby sit by the tree. And what the fuck? Tony is wearing a beret. Is this a dream sequence? Hugh is there too, so I guess he and Carm made up. Tony makes a comment to Christopher about hogging the ice, and I'm not sure if that was a comment about hogging the pussy, or if Christopher is so spaced out on drugs that he forgot how much ice he put in the glass.
AJ and Blanca arrive with Hector. Hugh comments on the diamond on Blanca's necklace, and she says that AJ gave it to her. Carm and Tony share a look. Hector runs in and squeals when he sees all the presents. AJ walks over and picks him up, and seems pretty easy with the kid. Carm and Tony exchange another look, but then Carmela is called away to talk to Meadow on the phone. Tony says that he kept his promise to Meadow, which somehow involves wearing the beret. Can he take it off now? It's creeping me out for some reason.
Tony finally takes the beret off as he and Carmela have a sidebar about Blanca. I guess this is the first time they've met her. Carmela complains that Blanca is ten years old than AJ, and Puerto Rican. Tony shrugs that Blanca might be Dominican, and Catholic. Carmela gives Tony a dirty look, like she's blaming him, and Tony says that she was happy when AJ started the job. Carmela leaves to take Meadow's call.
Christopher gives AJ shit for buying Blanca's gift at the mall. Tony says that he's got a guy and he could've got AJ a deal. AJ says that he's got a job now.
Bobby Jr. continues to watch Casablanca. Carmela walks in and hands off the phone to Tony. Kelli and Christopher kiss. AJ and Blanca sit together with Hector. Tony tells Meadow that Barb is coming by later, and adds, "Love to Finn," so I guess that's still happening. The whole family sits around and kind of stares at each other. Blanca tells Carm that she has a gorgeous home. Carmela puts her hand on Tony's hand and agrees. The camera pulls out on the weird, awkward tableau of the new Soprano family.
I have to say that I didn't get this episode. I didn't dislike it; I didn't like it. I just feel like I didn't get it. Maybe it will all make more sense year, when the final episodes air. See you then!