Christopher's girlfriend, Kelli (who I don't think has ever appeared before), is pregnant, so Christopher decides to marry her and buy a house. Tony and Christopher, through happenstance, steal some cases of wine and have a lot of fun doing so. While enjoying the wine (Christopher partakes), Tony and Christopher discuss the night when Adriana's fate was sealed (which we see in a flashback, if you can call it a flashback when it's not-previously-seen footage), and how Christopher proved his loyalty. Christopher pays Corky for the Rusty job with heroin, and also partakes in some heroin. So despite all his attempts at normalcy and moving on, Christopher is clearly not doing so well. Paulie is in charge of the annual St. Alzear Festival, and he cuts corners because he's Paulie, but also because he's worried about his upcoming biopsy to test for prostate cancer. At first, Paulie's corner-cutting only results in some confusion among the attendees, because things are different than other years, but later, one of the carnival rides breaks down while Janice, Bobby Jr., and Nica are riding it. Some other people are injured, and Janice, of course, fakes a neck injury. Bobby confronts Paulie about his negligence, and, of course, Paulie doesn't think that any of it is his fault. Carmela runs into Adriana's mother at the festival, and Mrs. La Cerva unloads about how she thinks that Christopher killed Adriana, and that she got a visit from the Feds backing up her suspicion. Carmela mentions this conversation to Tony, who laughs it off, but Carmela's not convinced. Tony tells Paulie that he needs to make it right with Bobby, and to also stop obsessing over his biopsy. Paulie can't stop obsessing, and ends up running to Mommy (or Aunt Mommy, if you will) for some comfort.
Christopher sits on the couch in his apartment, watching Saw II and smoking. He's wearing his coat, so he's clearly preparing to go out somewhere. A woman wearing a denim miniskirt, pink belt, and lacy pink top walks into the room. Christopher turns off the TV, wonders what took her so long and snaps that they're going to miss the previews at the movies. She stands there, clearly wanting to say something to him and trying to build up the nerve. Christopher wonders whether she dropped her earring down the drain again. She gulps and blurts out, "I'm pregnant." Once she starts talking, she can't stop, babbling on that she blames herself, because she shouldn't have let him take off the rubber, but she thought the timing was okay. Christopher, his expression unreadable, holds up a hand and tells her to stop. She pauses, and then says she'll call the clinic tomorrow. Christopher again tells her to stop talking, and his expression softens a bit. He walks toward her. She looks nervous as he gets closer, like he might punch her or something. Which he might. Christopher reaches out and strokes her face. He says, "Let's get married. Drive to A.C., make a day out of it." The woman (who we've never seen before) starts crying, and asks whether he's serious, and then smiles and says that she loves him. They hug. Christopher rubs her stomach and says that his ex couldn't have kids, and he really wanted them. The woman asks him whether he's talking about the woman who ran out on him. He starts crying a little, and says, "You can bet she's having some other asshole's kid though, that fucking tramp." Where does he come up with this stuff? They hug, and it would be a lot easier to recap this scene if I knew the woman's name, but then again, I guess that's kind of the point. This isn't someone Christopher has been dating for a long time.
Patsy and Paulie walk into a church. Patsy pauses to genuflect at the altar, but Paulie just struts on by and walks up to a statue in the corner: "Elzear. Patron saint of zeppoles." That line would have been a lot funnier to me if I had know what in the hell zeppoles were before this episode. Hey, I'm white bread. My town carnival had beef on weck sandwiches and salt potatoes. Patsy and Paulie discuss how the statue needs some fixing up, and an old lady nearby shushes them.
Paulie and Patsy head back to the priest's office, where they are surprised to see a new priest, Father Jose. A guy from the neighborhood association, Mr. Russamano, is also in attendance, and remembers when Paulie was an altar boy. Father Jose sits down and asks to hear their ideas for this year's celebration of the Feast of St. Elzear. Paulie says that their "nonprofit corporation" handles the whole thing, and that all the church needs to do is loan them the statue for the procession and say some prayers for the crowd in order to get their end of the take. Father Jose leans forward, and says that their usual fee, $10,000, seems a bit low. Paulie says threateningly, "It is what it is." Father Jose backs off a little, and says that he knows he's new, but the church feels that a slight increase would make sense -- given inflation and whatnot -- and names a figure of $50,000. Paulie is stunned, and Father Jose starts running through all the great things the church could do with that money. Paulie refutes the argument by running through all of the costs of the festival. Father Jose shows he's no dummy by explaining that he knows all of the ways how the festival is actually a cash cow for Paulie's "non-profit corporation." Paulie points out that the church seems to have plenty of money for paying off the families of molestation victims. Paulie adds that the church has been participating in this festival since Johnny Soprano was running it, and that the honor guard will be by to pick up the statue and the gold hat in a few days. Father Jose says that the festival is supposed to be a celebration of giving, and years ago, many immigrants gave up their cash or even their gold wedding bands, as an offering. Those wedding bands were melted down to make the gold hat. The priest slyly adds that he doesn't feel safe handing it over for the festival this year, due to the "possible criminal element" in the neighborhood. Father Jose's accent has been all over the place in this scene –- at first he sounded Latin, but now he sounds Irish. What's up with that? Paulie smirks, and says that if they came up with the fifty grand, the priest would forget his qualms about criminals. The priest neither confirms nor denies this, but Paulie has had enough. Paulie shakes Father Jose's hand, and, as he walks by the statue of St. Elzear again, he stops and bleats, "Fuck the hat!"
Silvio and Tony talk to Paulie and Patsy at the Bing. Tony is complaining that some guy down in Pennsylvania wants to raise the carting fee again. Christopher walks in, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. Tony asks Christopher to come to Pennsylvania to deal with this carting situation, and then asks him where he has been. Christopher just grins and holds up his hand, showing off his new wedding band. Everyone is stunned, and Tony has to ask, "Kelli?" So that's her name! At least Tony knew it. Tony asks what brought this on, and Christopher says without shame that there's a "visit from the stork coming up." Silvio asks Christopher if he's ever heard of pulling out, but then also tells a waitress to bring some Cristal over to celebrate. Christopher says that Tony has set an example for him (about lack of birth control?), and that he's also learned a lot in AA, so he's trying to put together "building blocks – home, family." Silvio agrees that that's what it's all about. I think Silvio is the only one in the group who actually believes that. Well, besides the murdering and whatnot. Actually, the more that I think about it, forget I said anything. Christopher decides that Kelli must be carrying a boy, and turns down the champagne, declaring, "My son will be my strength." Has he met Tony's son? The chances of Christopher's son turning out to be a source of strength are so NOT good. If it even is a son. Paulie's phone rings, and it's his doctor's office telling him that he missed an appointment. Everyone toasts to Christopher's baby.
Tony and Christopher meet with that guy from Pennsylvania to take care of some business. Tony makes sure they know how to get home (Christopher "MapBlasted" it), and they take off.
In the car, Tony complains that they're headed west instead of east. Christopher stares at his printouts and asks, "Are we 0.7 miles past Route 62 yet?" Heh. Wouldn't you love to see these two on The Amazing Race? Christopher would have to do all the Road Blocks, and Tony would just shoot anyone who got in their way. Although the speaking Italian thing might come in handy. Tony pulls behind a strip mall to take a piss. While he's doing his business, he spots some guys loading boxes into a van. Since it's the middle of the night, clearly something fishy/criminal is going on, and Tony and Christopher unsurprisingly pick up on this right away. Christopher thinks the guys look like bikers. They look at each other, silently agreeing to do this thing, and Christopher grabs his gun from his ankle holster.
Tony backs his Escalade up to the van in question, and Tony and Christopher get out. The bikers are inside the building, so Christopher pops open the back of Tony's SUV, while Tony sneaks up and grabs two boxes. Christopher starts scooping up boxes, too, and soon the two of them are giggling like kids. The bikers return, carrying an ATM. Christopher pulls out his gun and points it at them, so the bikers hit the ground. One of the bikers asks whether Tony and Christopher are cops, and Christopher starts calling Tony "lieutenant." The other biker tells Christopher that he's "fucking with the Vipers," and Christopher asks whether that's their girl scout troop. Tony has finished loading the boxes, so Christopher shoots out a tire on the biker's van and makes a run for it. One of the bikers pulls out a gun, so Christopher and Tony haul ass into Tony's Escalade. In the process, Tony twists his ankle and drops one of the boxes on the ground. As Tony drives off, Christopher leans out the window and returns fire, hitting one of the guys in the shoulder. The thing about this show is that I'm always filled with a sense of dread, and the better things are going for someone, the more I think something horrible is about to happen. So I totally thought that Christopher was going to get shot, or decapitated by a light pole, or something. He doesn't. But would it have shocked you if he had?
Tony pulls into a motel. Christopher and Tony are giddy about their escapades in the Escalade. When Tony gets out of the SUV, he notices that he's twisted his ankle. Tony takes a deep breath and says that it smells like autumn, and Christopher agrees. They pop open a crate to check out what they just risked their lives to steal. It's many, many bottles of wine, and Tony reads the label to discover that it's a 1986 Chateau Pichon-Longueville. Christopher "ooh"s and "aah"s over the fancy wine.
Tony grabs two bottles, and he and Christopher head into a restaurant, where they enjoy a huge dinner and reminisce over their score. Christopher remembers the "Grizzly Adams motherfucker," and they both laugh as they imitate how the bikers reacted with fear. Tony enjoys a glass of the new wine. He doesn't want to say anything in front of Christopher, but apparently, it tastes really, really good. Christopher watches Tony's face as he enjoys the wine, and then Christopher admits that he misses wine. Tony thinks that they could at least toast to Christopher's wedding and baby. Christopher says that he just has to have discipline and set limits for himself. Like he limits himself to one coke-providing whore per trip to L.A.? With Tony's encouragement, Christopher enjoys a glass of wine.
They exit the restaurant, chuckling. Tony pulls out another bottle of wine for "a nightcap." The two guys sit on a nearby dividing wall. Tony chugs the wine right from the bottle, as Christopher gets nostalgic about all the things that they've been through together. Tony agrees that they have a special bond, and he knows that Christopher has been there for him. Christopher says that they've had hard times, too, mostly because Christopher didn't understand what Tony was going through. Tony writes it off, saying that Christopher was young and being stubborn. Christopher remembers the day he came to Tony's house to tell him about Adriana.
And then we go to a flashback, which is weird. I expected those Wayne's World sort of wavy lines to indicate a flashback starting or something. Apparently, this scene was deleted from an episode last season (which was the right move, storytelling-wise) and so they're just repurposing it. I imagine it was originally meant to happen between the second and third paragraphs on this page. Anyway, a haggard Christopher shows up at Tony's door and says he needs to talk. They head down to the basement. Man, Gandolfini was a lot thinner two years ago. Christopher starts crying, and says that he's always been loyal, but he can't even say what's happened. He finally manages to choke out "Adriana" and "the Feds." He starts sobbing in earnest, as Tony -- who looks like he wants to puke -- asks how long this has been going on. Christopher doesn't really know, and adds that he just found out last night. Tony demands to know what Adriana told them. Christopher doesn't know, but he thinks it was a lot. That's interesting, because Adriana told him that she didn't give them much, and she really didn't. That's why they were constantly pushing her; they needed more. I don't know whether Christopher thinks that she was lying, or if he's telling Tony what he needs to hear to order Adriana's death. Tony is worried that the Feds know about Ralphie's murder, although I think that's the least of their concerns. I would imagine that they'd be more concerned about the drug trafficking, stolen goods, and political corruption than one wiseguy killing another. Tony rips open Christopher's shirt to make sure he's not wearing a wire, and then gets all calm, and asks where Adriana is. Christopher doesn't want to give it up at first, but admits that she's home. He starts begging Tony not to make him be the one to whack her. Which is why I think Christopher went to Tony in the first place. He knew Adriana couldn't live, given what had happened, but he couldn't just kill her himself (although he came pretty damn close with the strangling). Tony comforts Christopher, who is sobbing, and promises to take care of it. He tells Christopher to go upstairs and out the back door without talking to anyone, and wait for Tony's phone call. Christopher pulls himself together and leaves.
Back in the present, Christopher is thinking about what happened, and he turns to Tony and says, "I love you, man." Tony says that he loves Christopher, too, and they share a hug before driving home while listening to an Allman Brothers cover.
The morning, a hung over Tony makes himself an espresso. Meanwhile, Christopher and Kelli go to check out a McMansion in a new development. Huh. I kind of thought they would buy Carmela's spec house, although I think the spec house might be more of a spec lot at this point. Kelli is once again dressed in her Jersey girl finest, with lots of pink and tight jeans tucked into knee-high boots. They're greeted by the realtor, and Christopher thinks that the house looks like "stately Wayne Manor." The realtor starts going through the house's features, but Christopher interrupts to say that they'll take it. The realtor calls him an "impulse buyer," and really? You think maybe Christopher has poor impulse control? Kelli laughs, and thinks that they should see the inside first, and Christopher agrees, but you can tell it's irrelevant to him at this point. He's found the starter home version of Tony and Carmela's house.
It's the Feast of St. Elzear! The streets are closed down and jam-packed with various booths, all lit up in green, red, and white. Paulie shakes down the booth renters for their fee. One guy doesn't want to pay up front, in case it rains, and points out that the Ohio State Fair gives rebates for bad weather. Paulie doesn't care and demands his cash.
Phil buys a zeppola at a nearby stand. Tony and Silvio walk up and greet him. Tony wants to talk to Phil alone, so they walk off together. Tony tells Phil that some guys they know "diverted a truck full of Centrum multivitamins," but they need to be unloaded out of state because the New Jersey troopers are on the case. He asks whether Phil wants in on it, and offers to split the profits fifty-fifty if Phil can handle it tonight. Phil thinks it over, agrees, and asks Tony to "spare John the stress of having to hear about this." Tony kind of smirks, knowing that Phil just doesn't want to kick up his share to the boss. And you know those Centrums pull in big bucks on the street. Am I right? Tony agrees, and goes along with Phil's ruse about preventing stress to Johnny, and they shake on it. Tony glances over at a nearby ride, and spots Julianna Skiff enjoying it with a friend. A lady friend. Tony waves to her, but she doesn't see him.
Meadow, Finn, and Carmela get some food at a stand. Carmela says that she just came from praying for Tony's recovery, and snarks at Meadow for not praying. Meadow ignores her, and then points out Adriana's mom standing nearby. Carmela thinks Liz La Cerva looks terrible, as Meadow explains to Finn who the lady is. Carmela realizes that Liz saw them, so now she needs to go say "hello." Carmela walks over and says hello. Liz responds, in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Carmela Soprano. How's your daughter? Mine's dead." Carm is (or acts) surprised at the news, and Liz says that Christopher killed her. Carmela walks the party line and says that Ade and Chris broke up, and Ade ran off. Liz says that Ade hasn't called at all, even on holidays, which Carmela chalks up to their "difficult relationship." Liz drops the bomb: "The FBI came to my home. You'd be amazed at the questions they asked me. They admitted that they think he killed her." Carmela writes the whole thing off to Liz being drunk, but Liz says that she's just depressed, and that she's been sober for years. Carmela just blinks, trying to find a way to incorporate what she just learned into her Mountain of Denial. It's hard to be sympathetic to Carmela when she can be so, so dumb. She really bought the "Ade ran off" story?
Christopher meets with Corky to give him some heroin as the final payment for whacking Rusty. Christopher keeps going on and on that his mother never cleaned the house, so his friends would get their clothes dirty when they came over to play. Corky can only think of his payment: "Yeah, yeah. Um, the drugs?" Christopher hands over an envelope with cash and drugs, and Corky asks whether he can get his fix right there. Christopher advises him to "rock out with [his] cock out," which always reminds me of Kevin Federline. And I hate Kevin Federline. Christopher keeps talking about how awesome his house is going to be, and then tells Corky to get some help for his drug use. Christopher stares at Corky's spoon and needle, and then says that it "wets his whistle," and he doesn't know why. Corky finally realizes that Christopher is staring, and offers some of his heroin up. Christopher turns it down, but then reconsiders and says that he could "toot some." As he prepares to snort some, Christopher says that when he was doing a lot of coke, which contained a lot of baby laxative, he "used to get diarrhea just from the smell of paper money." Thanks for sharing, dude. Also? I think that's a sign of addiction. Christopher advises Corky to go to rehab again, and doesn't seem to realize that Corky might not take him seriously when he is sharing drugs. Christopher does his toot, and then stares lovingly, as Corky shoots up.
Cut to Christopher spiking his own arm. Then he pukes. Then he spends like twenty minutes at the St. Elzear Festival, tripping out on the lights. And I kept thinking there was going to be a point to all this, like he was going to die, or get killed, or Tony was going to find him and get pissed, or Kelli would find him, or something. But, no. It's just a really, really long scene of Christopher staring at lights and petting a stray dog, and then passing out on a step somewhere. Seriously? There's only three episodes left this season and this is what they show us? Because I think we get that Christopher keeps telling himself that he's got his life together, but he keeps fucking it up.
It's time for the parade with the statue of St. Elzear. A crowd gathers, as some guys carry the statue (sans gold hat) out of the church. The old people gathered to watch the procession keep calling out prayers and asking where the hat is. Paulie sits in a cop car and watches the proceedings. People keep going up to the statue and pinning cash to it.
Tony is antsy at home. He keeps opening and closing the refrigerator. Read a book or something, dude. Carmela asks what he needs, and Tony doesn't know. That sentence pretty much describes their relationship in a nutshell, although you'd probably have to add that Carmela denies something, and Tony tries to throw money at the problem. Tony sits down at the table with Carmela. She makes small talk about his sprained ankle, and Tony asks whether she's okay. Carmela says that she's been debating all night whether or not to mention this. Tony looks amused. Carmela tells him what Liz La Cerva said about Christopher killing Adriana. Tony just laughs, and says that that's insane. Carmela points out that Christopher has been known to be "free with his hands," and Tony says that Liz was probably drunk. Professor Tony offers up a seminar on domestic violence: there's always a body, and the murder usually happens in the bedroom or the kitchen. Carmela doesn't look convinced. Tony pours himself some stolen wine, and says that with the forensics available nowadays, the cops would be all over Christopher if they thought he did it. Tony thinks Liz is suffering from sour grapes, because Adriana got dumped. Carmela thought Adriana did the dumping. Tony ignores her and says that Adriana was "a sweet girl," but she and Christopher had "a toxic relationship." Carmela seizes on this as the truth, agreeing with Tony's assessment. Tony points out that Christopher is doing great: married, with a kid on the way, and focused. Carmela just nods, sadly, probably knowing that her husband is lying, but not willing to rock the boat. Again, that pretty much describes their whole relationship.
At the festival, Paulie gets a phone call from his doctor. Apparently, the numbers on Paulie's prostate tests are a little high, and the doctor wants to do a biopsy. Paulie is freaked out, and particularly upset because he is unable to give a paternal family medical history.
Janice makes Bobby Jr. go on the teacup ride with her and Nica. Bobby Jr. is pissed off that he has to go on a kiddie ride, so Janice lies that Nica wants her brother to go on the ride with her. Meanwhile, Nica doesn't give a shit whether she goes on the ride at all, because she's a baby. There's not enough room for all of them in one teacup, so Bobby Jr. has to sit by himself, and he does look like an idiot on the little kid's ride. Janice yells at him to stop pouting. As the ride continues, something breaks and sparks start flying from underneath the ride. No one in the crowd notices this and screams or anything? Eventually people realize that something is wrong, and the ride comes to a sudden stop. One little kid clearly hit his face on something, as he is bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose. His mother runs to him, and Janice screams out to someone to call an ambulance. Bobby and Sofia return from the bathroom and run to Janice's side.
Paulie sits at home, watching infomercials on TV. Little Paulie calls from the festival to report on the broken ride. Paulie thinks that the ride's owner should handle it. Little Paulie says that the cops are there talking to the owner, but that a lady broke her wrist and some kid lost some teeth. Paulie doesn't see why it's his problem. Little Paulie thought that he would want to know, but Paulie says that he has to get up early for his biopsy. But not so early that he can't continue watching his infomercial after he hangs up.
It's the Soprano family dinner. The Sopranos, the Bacalas, and the Moltisantis sit around the table chowing down. Janice is going on and on about the trauma she and her baby suffered. Tony thinks that they should all be happy things turned out all right, but Janice hasn't had enough of the drama: "My baby could have been killed, Tony." Well, that's the risk you take when you go on a ride that gets packed up and carted away by unskilled workers at the end of the week. Kelli comments that the locals will probably be filing lawsuits, and Christopher makes a racist comment about muchos pesos. Carmela gives Christopher a sharp look, and Janice starts rubbing her neck, like she just remembered that she got whiplash and maybe she should sue. Tony looks at her: "Leave it alone, Janice." Heh. I loved that he knew exactly what she was up to before she said a word. Meadow the maybe lawyer/maybe doctor says that there was negligence, so the people are entitled to damages. Tony also makes a racist comment about Hispanic people being lazy, and AJ thinks that it's hilarious. Janice isn't getting enough attention so again she brings up that Nica could have been injured. That seems to remind her that Nica is sitting right there, and Janice starts actually paying attention to her child. Christopher and Kelli share a fond look. Bobby says that he should have beat up the ride operator, but Janice takes the opportunity to point out that he did nothing, and gives Bobby a look of disgust. Kelli compliments the wine, which both she (pregnant) and Christopher (alcoholic) are drinking. Nice. I mean, I know some doctors say that pregnant ladies can have a glass now and then, but has Kelli even been to the doctor yet? Tony thinks that the wine (like his life) has lost some of its "pop."
Bobby, Janice, and Nica pull into a motel parking lot. Janice is now wearing a neckbrace, which made me laugh out loud. Bobby goes into one of the motel rooms and beats the crap out of the owner of the ride, demanding cash. The owner says that he told Paulie he needed to have his repair crew working all night, and Paulie wouldn't pay for it. Also, Paulie refused to pay for the "A" crew, so they got sub-par rides and employees. Also, does anyone else find it weird that Bobby brought his wife and daughter along for the ride on a mission to extort money? Although Janice probably insisted on coming to make sure Bobby did it right.
It's time for the cannoli-eating contest at the festival. Paulie and other crew members look on, as the contestants stuff their faces. Bobby shows up and starts yelling at Paulie for hiring "some fly-by-night piece of shit." Everyone holds Bobby back, and Bobby yells that you don't scrimp on safety. The gathered crowd seems quite interested in what Bobby has to say. Bobby wants financial compensation, but Paulie refuses to pay it. Bobby stalks off, and Paulie actually looks a little bit shaken. Everyone in the crowd is staring at him, so he tells the announcer for the eating contest to crown the winner.
Tony tells Melfi about the festival. Melfi is familiar with it, having gone herself as a kid. Tony tells her about what happened with the ride, and makes some jokes about how St. Elzear was too busy getting money pinned to his ass to watch over the people on the ride. Tony starts musing that people pay money to go on rides that make them puke (like Christopher with the heroin) or scream and yell (like Tony and Christopher after their robbery.) Tony thinks that people just do it because they're bored. Melfi asks Tony whether he's bored. Tony considers, and then says that he recovered from his shooting, despite the odds. He concludes, "Every day is a gift. It's just, does it have to be a pair of socks?" Melfi has no response, so Tony tells her that he's joking. She's not laughing. Tony think it's "the human condition," but fails to elaborate.
Paulie calls his doctor's office to find out the results of his biopsy, but they're not in. Paulie is near tears; he's so freaked out. Who walks up at that moment but Aunt Ma, on an outing with the nursing home. She explains that Paulie's brother is trying to pay for it. She wants to know whether it's true that it's Paulie's fault the ride broke, because he didn't put the golden hat on St. Elzear. Paulie thinks that that's all "voodoo." Aunt Ma thinks that Paulie is getting payback for cursing his real mother, a nun. Paulie gets pissed and tells her to fuck off, and Aunt Ma dissolves into tears.
It's time for Christopher's bachelor party, even though he's already married. Everyone makes lame jokes about marriage. Paulie shows up and draws a lot of attention to himself, but everyone just looks awkward and uncomfortable, probably because Bobby is sitting right there, glowering. Paulie doesn't seem to notice the silence that has fallen. Bobby stands up and says that he has to go be with his kids. No one stops him. Artie marches in and tells them the specials. Paulie makes lame jokes, but no one laughs.
Later, in the bathroom, Paulie washes his hands. Tony walks in, and says, "You're doing a heckuva job there, Brownie!" Paulie is confused, and Tony explains that Paulie needs to settle with Bobby, and it's not just because Janice is his sister. Tony is pissed that Paulie hired a bunch of rednecks, and then left Little Paulie to handle the fallout. Paulie has more excuses, but Tony points out that they don't need any negative press right now, given all the competition for the entertainment dollar. I thought that this was a weird thing to say, but then I realized (or possibly read in the forums) that it continues the theme of how times are changing, and the Family is having trouble keeping up. Paulie apologizes. Tony asks why Paulie didn't go with their regular guy. Paulie takes this as an opportunity to rant about how the festival has changed since Tony's dad handled it, and how difficult things have become. Tony thinks that they should drop it if they're not making money. Paulie snaps that most of his profit goes to Tony, but then immediately apologizes. Tony asks what his problem is, and Paulie spills about his biopsy. Tony tries to make Paulie feel better by pointing out that it doesn't mean he has cancer. Paulie starts creepily rubbing his temple. Tony tells him not to work himself up into a state, and Paulie admits that he's afraid "the thing mass-tass-ta-sized." Normally, I'm not a fan of the malaprops, but that one cracked me up. Paulie admits that he's afraid of what he can't see or control, and Tony thinks that Paulie is "too susceptible to the psychics and the dream messages, and dirty fucking toilet seats." Tony tells Paulie to "get a grip," and then suggests that negative thinking causes cancer. Paulie nods. Tony gives Paulie some orders, including one to make things right with Bobby.
Christopher visits Tony in the basement again, so maybe they showed that deleted scene earlier to serve as a parallel or bookend to this one. Christopher certainly looks healthier and happier this time around. Tony is busy stacking his wine bottles in his basement wine rack. Christopher says that he sold his for "three hundred for the five cases" and I hope he means $300,000, or else he got really ripped off. After making some business small talk, Tony and Christopher really have nothing left to say to each other, despite their bond. Tony starts reminiscing about the bikers again, and they basically rehash the same conversation they had in the restaurant right afterwards, laughing and giggling.
Paulie tosses and turns in bed, finally waking up at 3:00 AM. He gets up and calls the doctor's office, desperate for his biopsy results. When his regular doctor's not available, Paulie gives up. Instead, he heads for the Bing, which is closed at this time of night. He stops, turns, and has a vision of the Virgin Mary up on the stage. I don't know. Except I do know that Paulie has issues with women.
Paulie sits in the back room, freaked out. He hears a knock at the door, and lets the guy from Pennsylvania in. Oh, this was one of the orders that Tony gave Paulie earlier, in the bathroom. I forgot to mention that.
The statue of St. Elzear is covered with cash. Carmela and Tony walk through the festival with Bobby, Janice, and Nica. They all say how quickly the festival went. Nica spots the teacup ride and starts crying. I notice that Janice isn't wearing her neckbrace any more. Paulie's money must have cured her nerve damage. Janice thinks Nica is crying because she wants to go on the ride. She's really probably fucking terrified. Or maybe not, because when Janice sets her down, Nica immediately goes for the ride and cries when she can't get closer to it. Bobby runs over to her and offers her some candy to get her to stop crying. Well, now we know where Bobby Jr. gets it from. Tony walks over and plays with Nica, which gets her to start giggling and start crying. The scene goes on forever, and is quite reminiscent of Marlon Brando's death scene in The Godfather, so I totally thought Tony was going to keel over. But nope! Just Tony and Nica, spinning around, for about thirty-seven minutes straight, and no payoff. Yet.
Aunt Ma sits in her room, watching Lawrence Welk. Paulie shows up at her door, and she tells him that she doesn't want to argue. He walks in and silently sits down on the plastic-covered couch. Aunt Ma asks, "You want some cookies?" Paulie shakes his head, so Aunt Ma sits to him. Outside, the wind blows through the leaves on the tree. Paulie looks sad. Did he find out his biopsy results? Or is he just worried about said results? I guess we'll find out week.