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It's just not a season of Sons of Anarchy until someone's going to jail, is it? But before we get to that, let's run down the major plot threads in this episode.
Most awkward meet-the-parents ever: Tig is terrified that Fawn is going to suffer the same fate as Dawn, so he and a few of the SAMCRO boys hunt the girl down. It doesn't look promising at first -- she's in a house guarded by several men, there's screaming behind closed doors -- but it turns out that Fawn is really into a) the type of men at whom her father is likely to hurl racist epithets, and b) loud, role-playing sex. Anyway, once that awkward lesson in not jumping to conclusions is imparted to all, Jax manages to persuade the boyfriend to get Fawn out of town for a while.
Nero, fiddling while Pope burns: Pope is not taking news of Tig's killing mini-spree well, and so he wants information on all of SAMCRO, the better to ultimately break the organization. So it's presumably his guys tailing Jax and Nero when those two are out and about, and Nero manages to do some tricky driving to elude the tail. (At the end of the episode, Pope's brooding over Jax's jail record and expecting that the boys will be killed once they're in county lock-up.)
Nero also manages to lay some of that companionator charm on Jax, who is always yearning for a father figure, and the two men bond over the kids they had by junkie women. Then Nero talks about how he's escaped the gang life and is now a humble purveyor of paid companionship as opposed to some sad aging gang member ("LIKE ALL YOU DERPS ON YOUR BIKES" is the unspoken subtext there). Jax, who cannot let go of the fantasy that he can get out of the less savory aspects of biker gangdom, eats this up with a spoon. It is going to suck hard if/when we find out that Nero's really playing Jax for a sucker.
Going to the brothel/ and we're going to get ma-a-a-ried: But until Nero shows his true colors, he'll just continue to be a hell of a guy, generously offering his business office as the site for Jax and Tara's impromptu wedding. Yes, two kids and countless homicides later, these two lovebirds are finally committing to one another! It's all very sweet.
Gemma is, predictably, not happy about any of it, but she gives Tara the rings that she and JT had, and so another symbolic link is forged between SAMCRO's first founding couple and the generation. Of note: Jax takes off his "SO" and "NS" rings -- the ones that were such a big deal a few seasons back -- to slide his dad's wedding ring on his finger. It would symbolize him putting his bond with Tara above his club family, but since Tara spends much of the episode playing consigliore to Jax as he decides the latest legal strategy, I'd say the two families are interchangeable.
Also, that hospital daycare has amazing hours, because those two little Teller boys were nowhere to be found from sunup to sundown.
Clay Morrow, playing a long con: This is the second episode in the row where Clay commits at least one act that is not blatantly self-serving, and it's freaking me out. This week: He visits Opie to deliver a monologue about how his time has passed, the club is in Jax & Opie's hands now, and Jax is sure going to need seven feet of hairy muscle by his side at the table.
Clay also prods Unser into calling in his home invasion, saying he needs the police report for insurance purposes. Unser takes this and adds it to the mental dossier he's compiling on the home invasions. (And yes, it looks like the three nomads from last week are behind them. They took Thomas Teller's birth certificate and the Clay/Gemma marriage license. I cannot wait to see how this unfolds.)
Third time's the charm: Jax decides the best bet with these murder charges is to just surrender on the warrant. He, Chibs and Tig prepare to do just that, even though it means they're terribly vulnerable on the inside. But! They are slightly less vulnerable once Opie contrives a way to join them (ringing Roosevelt's bell). Best wedding present ever? Or proof that Jax and Ope is really this show's epic love story? I'll let you all decide in the forums.
Lisa Schmeiser is an Oakland-adjacent reporter and blogger. She also has, in the words of her mother, "the thing you tweeterfacepage about." Say hi there!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Opie is woken up from a dead sleep by the flickering lights of a police car. It's Roosevelt, who's come by with a dozen of his closest friends to ask if Opie might have any idea where Jax is. Opie stares at Roosevelt incredulously, as if to say, There really is no way I'm ever escaping Jax, is there? Probably not, Ope.
Meanwhile, at the Best Little Cathouse In Charming, the SAMCRO boys are eying the normal ebb and flow of business (we see that Carla is the "Bad Pimp" in the Good Pimp/Bad Pimp dynamic she and Nero have going) and wondering how it is that they ended up going into drugs and guns instead of semi-attractive-in-a-strip-mall-kind-of-way ladies. Bobby Elvis grills Gemma as to how long and how well she knows Nero, and Gemma vouches for his character in a way that makes it totally obvious that she knows Nero purely in a Biblical sense and is wildly bluffing on everything else.
Anyway, Nero, ever the good host, shows the bikers to the alleged "aromatherapy" rooms where they can kip and invites Gemma to make herself at home in the studio apartment on the second floor. Gemma is to let Nero know if she needs anything; the "such as another night of my sweet lovin'" is unspoken, yet clearly heard by Bobby Elvis. Jax picks up on it in some corner of his reptile brain and asks, "Why are you helping us? I don't know you, your crew --" "I can vouch for him," Gemma says, hoping to shut this down before Nero answers Jax with, "Well, your mom picked me up, tossed two hookers into the mix like they were the toys in the humpy happy meal we had, then treated me to the kind of night it's taken all day to recover from. I just unhooked from the IV drip rehydrating me, and I'm going to smell like arnica for two weeks. AND IT WAS WORTH IT."
Jax, however, does not really care if Gemma wants to shut this line of inquiry down. Nero says, "Let's just consider this networking, okay? Maybe at some point, you get to help me." No doubt when it's least convenient for everyone in SAMCRO. Chibs comes in to tell Jax that they've found Tig down at the old Oakland rail yards, but they've got to go get him ASAP. Jax is about to head out when Gemma points out that the fuzz will be looking for their motorcycles, so Nero further networks by offering the use of his blue pickup truck.
Meanwhile, Unser continues to bleed all over the Morrow household kitchen. He is also coming to, quite painfully, and to make matters worse, the only person he can call is Clay. Clay hangs up on him and contemplates his drink.
Zip! We're over at the Oakland yard and Chibs is first out of the truck and straight to Tig. The other bikers arrive and skid to a halt when they see the pile of bodies in the pit. Jax -- who is no stranger to checking out the corpses of burned women, if you recall the series premiere -- has figured it all out in an instant and says, "I'm so sorry. " Tig plows ahead, because he has to give voice to the whole horror. "Pope... he burned her alive, right in front of me... Uh... he threatened to do the same to Fawn. I gotta find her." Jax is now all business, establishing that Tig killed the cop and the cleaner. Tig, who is on his hands and knees, asks shakily, "Help me get Dawn out, yeah?" Jax nods. He sends Chibs back to the truck for the tarps that are conveniently stashed there -- let us all take a moment to avoid thinking about why a pimp has tarps in the back of his vehicle -- then he watches as Bobby drapes himself over Tig and says, "Let's go get her."
Oh, hey -- Clay came through for Unser after all. And he's managed to redirect Juice's mother-henning onto Unser, so win-win. Clay asks for details of the assault, then queries, "Where's Gemma?" Unser says he doesn't know and then repeats himself when Clay cocks an eyebrow. Clay buys Unser's sincerity. Unser then says he's not sure "which way to jump," i.e. if this break-in is symptomatic of SAMCRO's latest shenanigans or if it's symptomatic of Charming's latest civic unrest. Clay says, "You gotta call the sheriff. It's the only way I collect the insurance off of this shit." Can you imagine all the different types of insurance Clay carries? Home insurance, motorcycle insurance, car insurance, health insurance... I am betting that there is a shrine to him in some insurance company's national headquarters somewhere. Probably paid for with his quarterly premiums.
Clay theorizes that the home invasion was perpetrated by some of Pope's people, then swerves 90 degrees to ask Unser, "Did you really come over her to feed the bird?" Unser slams down his glass of water in exasperation and says, "She's on her own trip these days. I have no idea where she goes or who with." He goes to get up from the table in a snit, but he's too beaten up to do so and when he falls, Clay tries to catch him before his body reminds him that he's a wheezy old gunshot victim. Unser eventually struggles to his feet and says bitterly, "Charmed life isn't it?"
Back at the docks, Jax and Chibs are soaking the pile of corpses in some green fluid (where they got it and how they know what it is will remain a mystery), and Jax unintentionally mirrors Pope's actions by lighting a cigarette and tossing it into the pit. He then walks over to Bobby Elvis and says they need to go, but Bobby murmurs for him to hold up; Tig needs time. We see Tig holding Dawn's body, rocking back and forth almost imperceptibly; it's the same parental sway anyone who's ever rocked the floor with a newborn can fall into on cue.
As Tig rocks his baby girl, we go into the credits.
Back at the Best Little Cathouse in Charming, Bobby Elvis and Jax have a hushed conversation establishing that A) the officers are freaked out over what happened to Dawn, and B) Bobby wants to bring in Romeo ASAP, because C) Jax things Romeo is the only thing standing between them and Damon Pope. (Although if Romeo has a relationship with Damon, and Damon is so all-powerful with the gang activities, why hasn't the CIA found a use for them?) Chibs comes over and establishes an excuse for getting still more members of SAMCRO to hang around the Best Little Cathouse in Charming, because that won't totally freak out the customers or anything, then heads off. Jax takes this opportunity to hand Nero a very fat wad of cash explaining, "It might be a very busy day for us. This is for your time and inconvenience. If you need more, you're going to have to wait." Chibs then grabs Jax and says they need to am-scary: "All of this activity makes me very nervous." He heads off and Jax looks at Bobby Elvis -- who is, let us remember, a man recently freed from the confines of an all-male penitentiary -- and says, "All this activity makes me think we're in the wrong business." Bobby nods all, You have a point, my friend.
Oh, good -- we get to see Pope receiving news of what transpired when he was off buying ice cream for everyone. He is, by the by, in a huge corner office that is tastefully decorated. There are framed magazine covers on the wall (he was the cover boy for DEVELOPERS, which I am guessing is about construction and not coding) and jazz is softly playing, and honestly, this reads like Stringer Bell's wet dreams. (Yes, I just made a reference to The Wire; by the code of my people, we who write about television, any writer/recapped/critic must seize any excuse to name-drop any of the following: Barksdale Crew, McNulty, "A man's got to have a code," Stringer Bell, Sheeeeeeeee-it, Snoop's hair, the po-po, "Omar's comin'!." It's all in the game, yo.)
ANYWAY. Pope is not particularly thrilled with August's tidings, and asks August to quietly clean up the mess before anyone else on the city of Oakland's payroll gets nervous. August has already taken care of matters, but he seems concerned that Jax, Chibs and Tig are in the wind. "Those white boys are resourceful," Pope says. He's now sufficiently intrigued by them; he must learn more, so he can more effectively crush them.
Hey, it's Lowen! (Robin Weigert, get on my screen more.) She's trying to figure out the best way to represent a bunch of bikers who truly do have a habit of shooting up the roads and killing people, but don't want to go to jail over it. It's worth noting that Tara's at the table with everyone. Granted, her schedule is a lot clearer now that she's not doing surgery, so hooray to her for finding the silver lining? Jax tells his lawyer that the whole point to this legal hoohah is that Pope's maneuvering the Sons into jail, where they can presumably be picked off by goons on the inside. He wants time to find a little protection; Lowen says he has maybe eight hours before he's got to turn himself in. He then dispatches Gemma to keep an eye on Tig, who is slumped over in a corner of the couch. Gemma realizes she's being sent away so Jax and Tara can talk with Lowen, but there's nothing she can do about it beyond rolling her eyes and trailing disgruntlement in her wake.
Once it's just Jax, Tara and Lowen, we find out that Tara's been trying to bring Lowen up to speed on the RICO case threat of last season without using the words "cartel," "CIA" and "ridiculous bargain with people who won't hesitate to throw us to the wolves when it's convenient." Lowen is understandably exasperated by all of this, as it's hard to do her job when she's not fully informed. Jax and Tara waggle their eyebrows significantly until Lowen finally guesses, "Feds?" They nod. She facepalms for a second, then rallies because that's why they pay her the big money. (One wonders how they pay her the big money. Using cash?) Lowen points out that the RICO case rests on Otto's testimony, so if they can discredit that, then all the past crimes disappear and they're only stuck with the pesky present charges of gun running. Lowen laughs and says, "It's going to be really tough getting details on a case I'm not even supposed to know about." Their first angle of attack is Otto. Although Lowen can't get to him directly, perhaps someone else can -- "It depends on how tightly they have him locked down." (And now we have our pretext for the annual Wounding of The Otto, as it is virtually impossible for that character to make it through a season without incident.)
Chibs comes by with the news about Unser and the home invasion at Gemma's, and Jax's eyes bug out. He's convinced this is Pope's doing, but Bobby Elvis cautions him, "This is not about payback, brother." Jax, listen to your VP. He's got strategy for days. After a few minutes of fuming, Jax comes up with a plan: "Put the club on alert. Wives, kids, everyone should be looking out." Why not just have a big SAMCRO sleepover in the clubhouse, as in Season 2? Pope's tactic make the neo-Nazis look low-key by comparison. Jax sends Bobby to handle recon at Gemma's home retainer, makes promises of sweet, sweet cash to Lowen if she looks into the RICO business, then tells Chibs they have to find Fawn Traeger before Pope does. Tara takes this all in, looking less than pleased. And... girl. Either you're all in -- as you keep telling Jax -- or you're out, but the "I'm in, but only if I can look petulant most of the time" option is eroding any good will the audience has toward you.
Over at the Morrow spread, Roosevelt is practically chortling over this home invasion, if only because he so plainly feels that these violent crimes could not happen to a more deserving group of people. "You know this is retaliation," Roosevelt says, and Clay mumbles, "I don't know nothin'. I leave the crime fighting to the professionals." He then tells the professional crime fighter that whomever broke into the house absconded with his personal safe and its contents (personal documents like marriage licenses and birth certificates). Before Roosevelt can follow up, Gemma and Bobby come in, making all sorts of appalled noises, as one would do if one's tidy if taste-challenged house had been ransacked by thugs. Roosevelt sighs and smiles inwardly all, Here we go... because Gemma's now pulling her favorite defensive maneuver, snapping angrily at anyone around her so they can leave her alone long enough for her to pull herself together. Roosevelt says, "Okay. Well, I told the other guys, so I'll tell you: If this feud blows back on any innocents, I will call Gang Task Force and have Charming locked down. If you remember anything, give me a call." Roosevelt stalks off.
Back at the Best Little Cathouse In Charming, Tara stomps over to talk to her brooding baby-daddy, who frets, "I've got to fix this." "You will," she says confidently. This moves Jax to thank Tara for being such a good sport about her fugitive inamorato camping out in a brothel, but before these two can have a moment, Chibs interrupts to say they've tracked down Fawn to an address in Oakland. He cites "Hamilton and Irving," which is a good-news-bad-news deal: The good news is that Fawn is close enough to walk to the Coliseum BART station and thus avail herself of the Bay Area's public transit system. The bad news is she may not have a very safe pedestrian commute at night. Anyway, Jax is about to head over to Oakland and perhaps shake his head at the silly canvases stretched over Mount Davis, but Tara's all, "The APB went wide, remember," and he's all, What I remember is I have to manage your ass and its unfortunate knack for recalling details at exactly the wrong moment.
Tara asks if Jax can't maybe delegate this one and he's all, "I have to make sure Tig's kid is safe." Tara ripostes, "What about our kids, Jax? You have sons -- what if you go back to jail again for a long time --" Jax gives Tara a look as if to ask Do you really think I would rather be in jail than missing out on parenting the world's most docile preschooler and the world's most convenient baby? Tara immediately backs down and apologizes for reminding Jax of the family that he keeps saying he puts first. Tara steels herself and orders Jax to go. He kisses her knuckles, heads off, then whips around and says, "Let's get married. Today." Tara is surprised, but pleasantly so: "Are you serious? I thought you wanted to --" "I don't want to wait any more," Jax says. Then he smiles and says, "Whatever happens, Tara, I want you to be my wife. I always have." Tara is fighting the urge to laugh as she says, "Here, in a brothel, wanted for murder?" Jax grins and channels his old Season 1 self by cracking, "Hey, I'm all about the fairy tale, baby." Tara's giving in to her giddiness now, sauntering over to him and grinning, "So much for romance." Jax leans in and whispers, "I killed a Fed for you. Nothing says 'endless love' like a capital murder." Tara smiles back and says, "I guess that's true." These two crazy kids decide to elope. But first, Jax has to go hunt down the living Traeger daughter. He plants one on Tara and promises, "I'll see you later, make an honest woman out of you," and the minute Jax saunters out of view, Tara mutters, "Good luck."
Charming PD. Unser comes on it and floats the theory that it's not Pope's men who are delivering payback to the inner and outer circles of SAMCRO. "It felt more white to me," Unser says. Roosevelt's eyes narrow as he inquires, "Really? And how does 'white' feel?" "Sloppy, clumsy... the beatdown felt more obligatory than angry," Unser says. So, um, points to other demographic groups for showing determination and vigor in their home invasions? He then goes on to tell Roosevelt that he's planning on poking around these home invasion, because something doesn't sit right with him.
So! Tig has found the address where Fawn presumably is and he freaks out at the sight of three rather athletic looking African American men on the front porch, so naturally, there is pushing and yelling and racial epithets being flung about by Tig, and it takes Jax pointing out that Tig's tendency to do violence to African Americans first, ask questions later is why they're on this fool errand in the first place before Tig reigns in the racism. But when he hears a woman screaming, "Stop! Stop!" his paternal panic amps up to eleven and he breaks in, shouting, "Fawnsy! Fawnsy!" as Fawn continues to shout, "Please stop, you're hurting me!" Tig kicks down a door and we discover that "Please stop, you're hurting me!" is actually code for "Please do not stop rogering me vigorously, as I quite enjoy it."
And all I have to say about all this is: I sincerely hope we find out later whether or not Fawn's suffered any long term sexual dysfunctions brought on by her father bursting in on her mid-coitus, smacking her boyfriend clean out of her, then pulling a gun on the young man.
And now, the awkward scene in the living room where Tig stammers to a semi-dressed Fawn that he had to find her, as she might be in trouble. Despite the clear evidence that Tig's out of his mind -- even more so than usual -- Fawn is not cutting Tig any slack when he asks her to skip town for a bit, and she snips, "What about Dawn? You get her to leave? Or maybe you just paid her to go?" Tig goes red with grief and begins tearing up, and this cues Fawn in that hey, maybe her pop's got good reason to worry about her. Also, her sister is dead because of her father, somehow. Cue Fawn flying at Tig, pounding him and screaming, "I hate you!" while Tig just mutters, "I know, I know, I'm sorry, baby." During all this, Jax quietly pulls aside the boyfriend, "Do you care about you? Then you've got to pack a bag and get her out of town. [He hands over some cash.] I'll tell you when it's safe to come back." Jax then assigns Chibs to make sure Fawn's boyfriend gets her out of the 510, and says he'll catch a ride back to Charming with Nero.
Clay's ordered Bobby Elvis to drop him at Opie's, as part of his TCB 2012 Tour. He catches Ope sawing wood -- literally -- and Opie snaps, "I heard about Tig's kid and the warrants, and that's why you're here." Clay wheezes that no, he's actually here because he told the club the truth about him and Piney ("That's your truth," snarls Opie, unwittingly becoming the first deconstructionist biker thug in America) and says he's not there to apologize, but for another reason. "This is me telling you [that] you're walking away from SAMCRO 'cause of your hatred for me. That's a mistake. I'm almost done. I'm half dead, for Christ's sake. Jax is the head of the table now. It's your time." He gets up to go and mentions offhandedly, "The guys are turning themselves in today." Almost against his will, Opie asks, "They got protection inside?" Clay says, "I don't know. But I do know this: Whatever happens, Jax is going to want you at that table. He needs you." Clay totters off. I admit: I am divided on whether Clay's trying to manipulate Opie into watching out for Jax because of some fatherly feeling toward his stepson or if he's trying to manipulate Opie into getting killed because the entire Winston clan has been a thorn in his paw since Season 1.
And now, Jax and Nero go tooling through Oakland with a detour to see Nero's son in his long-term care facility. Long story short: Nero's former girlfriend was using while she was pregnant and Lucius suffered preventable birth defects. "I wasn't paying attention during the pregnancy," Nero says. Jax warms to this with, "My first boy was born with his insides upside down. His mom was a junkie. I wasn't paying attention either." "Pecados de padre, homes," Nero says. The sins of the father. Funny how those reverberate through the entire series.
We switch scenes to set up a totally contrived series of events by which Gemma comes to learn of Jax and Tara's impending nuptials.
Back to Jax and Nero: the older man notices that they've been tailed since the care facility (we had seen the SUV parked earlier) and this cues a car chase that culminates in a game of chicken. Jax, we learn, is not so much a fan of this game. Nero laughs and says, "That was fun!" He then checks Jax's starchy complexion and says almost sheepishly, "Sorry, I don't get out much." Hee!
Hey, remember Lyla? She's adding to her considerable filmed oeuvre -- here, she and Ima are candy-stripers making out in between a gynecological patient's spraddled legs -- and when the director calls cut, whom should she notice glowering from the sidelines but her ex? Ima quietly asks Lyla if she's okay, and Lyla indicates that she can handle it. And she does, stomping away from Opie as he trails behind her, asking, "Can I talk to you?"
They enter her dressing room and Lyla goes to freshen up her lip liner as Opie tries for some small talk: "Glad to see the Saffron sisters are still together." Lyla shrugs that it's her most lucrative title. Opie asks, "You still just doing girl?" and Lyla is all, "Did you come here to discuss my resume or do you have an actual point to this visit?" The point is that Ope wants Lyla to take care of Kenny and Ellie: "I got to leave town for a while. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone. There's $20,000 here. That should take care of living expenses... if you can't, I'll just take them to my mom's [but] they love you, miss Piper a lot." Lyla is going to do it, you can tell, but she's going to tear a strip off Ope as a tip on top of that $20,000. Opie promises, "I'll explain it all when I get back. Please, Lyla." She leans forward and asks, "Did you ever love me, Ope? Or was I just a distraction to get you to the exit." "You weren't a distraction," Opie says promptly. He pauses, and then admits, "I don't know if I love anything." Lyla leans back, sad and relieved and says, "A few weeks." Opie kisses Lyla on the temple as he thanks her and then takes off. (Oh, these two. I'd say that they should work through Opie's issues and get back together, but Opie doesn't have issues -- he has subscriptions. Entire periodical libraries, really. And who can blame him?)
Back at the Best Little Cathouse in Charming, Gemma comes storming into the lobby, radiating anger as only she can and causing Chibs to paw at Jax's sleeve all "Jackie, Jackie, Jackie!" Jax asks his mom what she's doing there and she smacks him in the chest with the envelope, spitting, "Messenger. Marriage license." She asks for Tara and Jax is all, "Don't even --" but then Nero comes up to tell him the judge who's going to perform the ceremony has to split soon, and Gemma uses the distraction to bolt into the "aromatherapy room" where the bride-to-be is finishing her toilette.
Tara's idea of gussying for the ceremony is putting her hair up and uncapping a tube of lipstick. She doesn't even look up when Gemma makes her dramatic entrance, asking coolly, "You looking for me?" "Yeah," Gemma says. As Tara puts on her lipstick, she asks (or gloats, your call), "It's not how you planned, is it?" "Not being invited to my son's wedding? No, it's not," Gemma says, in a voice that could wither plants. Tara says, "I meant the idea of Jax marrying me. You hated the idea 14 years ago." The way this shot is framed, we see Tara applying her makeup, absorbed in the act and Gemma watching her with an almost palpable sense of regret. (One wonders if she sees her younger self in how Tara's acting.) Gemma says, "Life moves on. We change. I hate different things now." Tara scoffs and says, "Just say it, Gemma." Instead, Gemma walks forward and pulls out two rings on an oversized safety pin. "These were mine and John's. I figured you didn't have time to get rings." She folds her hands and waits for however Tara will reject this gesture. But Jax saves the day by opening the door and making sure the two women in his life aren't about to kill one another. "We're going to lose our john judge," he says. Gemma rolls her eyes at this, her life where her son's getting married in a whorehouse.
Once Jax is gone, Gemma says to Tara, "You've got to put distance between us, own your place. I get it. But there is no one else who understands what you are going through right now better than I do. You remember that." Tara has finished putting an orchid in her updo and she turns to Gemma with an almost soft expression. I've said it before and I'll say it again: The relationship between Gemma and Tara is endlessly fascinating, because you're looking at two women -- both of whom have deep-seated issues over being unmothered, both of whom are mothers now, both of whom let their anger get in the way of happiness -- who really do love one another and fear the damage each could do to the other. It is heartbreaking. Gemma asks, "I would like to stay and watch you marry my only son. You okay with that?" "Yes," Tara whispers through her tears.
Cooper the judge sprints through the marriage ceremony -- Jackson Nathaniel Teller and Tara Grace Knowles are about to be wed and when Cooper asks if there are rings, Jax says no right as Tara grins, "Yes." He's surprised but complaisant, and Tara slides off the "SO" and "NS" rings that were such a big deal two seasons ago to slide on John Teller's wedding ring. Cooper is not exactly swept up in the emotion of the ritual and rattles off, "Anybody want to say anything?" "Aye," says Chibs, and walks over. He shoves the judge out of the way and says, "May the Lord hold you in His hand and may He never close His fist too tight. Bennachd dia dhuit. I love you both." Cooper comes back in, yawns, "Lovely, by the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Uh, the witnesses need to sign the license, and good luck." Jax and Tara kiss deeply and Gemma slips out amid the Sons' general shouts of excitement. Nero notices her going and asks, "You okay, Mama?" and Gemma replies tiredly, "I'm trying."
Naturally, this is when Romeo decides to ring in. There's a quick confab and Romeo's all, "Sorry, no can do a thing about those charges." Jax asks how useful he'll be when dead and nobody's got a good answer to that. After he leaves, Romeo and Luis begin talking about how it's time to maybe come up with a Plan B, since Plan A is currently "Let's hope the biker with divided loyalties and an erratic sense of strategic acumen stays alive."
Zip! We're in the gloaming, the three wanted men are having a last drink at the clubhouse, and we're wrapping up the episode. Bobby Elvis will be keeping an eye on things in Jax's absence. Gemma has an arm wrapped around Tig and she tells him, "Don't you worry, sweetheart. We'll take care of your baby." Tig only nods numbly. She then asks Chibs, "You keep my boy safe," and Chibs replies that he's on it. Jax shrugs off his cut and gives it to Tara -- it is a mirror of the gesture at the end of Season 1 when Tara handed him his cut at Donna's funeral, and it's on. Lowen and Happy greet Roosevelt at the door -- and it is a sign of what stern stuff he's made of that he just smiles and says, "I have the warrants." The three men shuffle out -- my lord, Tig looks like the walking dead -- and prepare to get cuffed and chained. Opie pulls up on his bike and walks over to Roosevelt. The sheriff says, "So you came to say good-bye?' "Yup," Opie says, then hauls back and lands an impressive punch on the left side of Roosevelt's jaw. And indeed, it is enough to guarantee that he will be accompanying Tig, Chibs and Jax to the pokey -- which has apparently been Opie's plan since Clay's visit. Everyone on SAMCRO is all, "Dang, Ope, we're glad you're our berserker," because honestly, Opie looks like all he needs is a helmet with some horns on it and a sword and he could go retake Northumbria and York for the glory of the Vikings. Tara asks Gemma what in the hell Opie's doing, and Gemma mutters tersely, "He's staying close."
We flash quickly to the three nomads from last week. They've managed to jimmy open Clay's safe and Frankie Diamonds is looking at the two birth certificates and the Morrow/Teller marriage license while Go-Go and Greg the Peg dump the safe.
Then we're back in the transport van. Jax gives Opie a wry smile before asking, "Is this you becoming me?" Opie lifts his chin and asks, "How'd I do?" Jax gives a warmer smile before responding, "Not bad."
In the clubhouse parking lot, Gemma's nowhere to be seen and it's just Happy, Juice, Tara and Bobby Elvis standing there. Tara still has her sad little flower tucked into her hair. Bobby slides an arm around Tara and steers her away, and she flings an arm around him in response as she walks -- it's a very Gemma-like move.
Speaking of whom, guess who has on her sleaziest heels and has decided to pay Nero a late night social call? He's game. Meanwhile, Clay is sitting alone with a pile of unopened envelopes to one side and a glass of alcohol to the other. And we flash to Pope in his office studying Jax's rap sheet with the intensity of a radiologist looking at a lung X-ray.
Then we're back in the van. Jax is looking at his men -- two of whom are basically the walking dead -- and he twiddles his wedding ring as he waits to be taken to his probable death in lockup.
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