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So! The season finale! Which could have actually been an hour-long episode if only there weren't so many gratuitous musical montages. Anyway, here's what happened that mattered:
Remember how Jax made a deal with Stahl to deliver Jimmy O alive? And remember how SAMCRO made a deal with the Real IRA to deliver Jimmy O dead in order to get access to a better gun market? These two goals are not compatible! The club decides to buy Jimmy off the Eastern European mobsters who are allegedly arranging his safe passage, all for the low, low price of $2 million. Fortunately for the perpetually-broke bikers, they don't have to come up with $2 million in real currency -- Chuckie's got $5 million in pretend money he's been sitting on.
So the Russians deliver Jimmy O to SAMCRO in some godforsaken middle-of-nowhere place. SAMCRO hands over a few duffel bags of fake money (with some real ATF funds mixed in, in what is probably the most effective use of taxpayer funds in FY 2010). Because SAMCRO has somehow acquired the kind of logistics mastery that only Lex Luthor can dream of, in addition to getting Jimmy O spirited away, they also manage to lead the pissed-off Russians right into the ATF snare, so SAMCRO gets away with passing along funny money … for now.
Jax and Stahl have one more tense negotiation, in which she attempts to screw him over by withholding her signature on the promised get-out-of-jail-free deal, and then follows it up by really screwing him and outing him to his club as a rat. Stahl tries to grin as SAMCRO loses its collective shit over this revelation, but whatever she's done to her face sort of hampers human expression. Chilling!
Guess who rides to the rescue? Unser! After he turns in his gun and badge -- something nobody at the ATF notices he's missing -- he makes up a reason to separate Stahl and Jimmy O from the rest of the ATF goons, pulls a non-regulation gun on her, then hands her and Jimmy O to the four SAMCRO members who did not get rounded up: Opie, Kozak, Piney and Chibs.
Jimmy O goes to his fate with dignity -- no mean feat, considering he gets turned over to Chibs, who has years of anger-management issues to work out + a few wicked blades. Chibs, brilliantly, frames the Real IRA for the job once he's done.
Stahl, on the other hand, dies as she lived: cravenly and incompetently. Opie's the one who does the job, somehow imagining that this will exorcise the pain of his wife dying thanks to Stahl's season one incompetence. (Insert viewer facepalm here.)
And then -- WHAT A TWIST! -- it turns out that Jax had let everyone in on the whole deal at some point so the scene at the clubhouse was all a put-on and they're all still besties. And now they have no Jimmy O or Stahl bedeviling them! And they have the sweet ATF deal! It's a win-win! No idea when Jax let them in on it, so let's all pretend it came out on the flight back, when the guys had to kill time between Abel's diaper changes somehow.
Anyway, that's the season, all tied up in a neat little bow. Here's hoping season four will not involve any field trips to the auld sod.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Sons of Anarchy: You know, we're at the season finale. If you don't know what's going on at this point, just sit back and enjoy this seemingly random and incomprehensible sequence of events.
Jax wakes up, visibly disoriented and it takes him a moment to realize he's not in a dingy Belfast bedsit, and he's not alone. Tara's right to him, and the two of them exchange sweet nothings before Jax puts his hand on Tara's stomach and whispers, "I love you too, son." Tara points out that they don't know for sure the fetus will turn out to be a girl, but Jax shares his mom's inability to conceive of any Teller child as anything other than male. But hey -- good to know Jax and Tara are back together. Unplanned pregnancy can fix any relationship!
Then we kick into a musical montage to indicate that life post-Belfast, post-kidnapping has returned to normal: Jax and Tara get busy in the bedroom; Clay waylays a frantically-baking Gemma (seriously: the entire kitchen is blanketed in baked goods and baking pans) and nuzzles up to her, obviously trying to get all the affection in before one or both of them are behind bars for the foreseeable future; Jax picking the placid little Abel out of his crib and engaging in some father/son bonding time; Stahl looking over at the empty spot where her girlfriend used to be in the bed, then grinning to herself; Abel's welcome-home party at the SAMCRO clubhouse.
Bobby Elvis is holding Abel -- wisely keeping the child out of groping distance of either beard or hair -- and Clay comes over, kisses the top of Abel's head and coos, "I've got something for you. It may be a wee bit small by now." And he puts on the SAMCRO beanie that fell off Abel's head at the end of season two. The whole exchange reminds me of a passage in Betty MacDonald's The Egg and I, where she notes of her rural neighbors: "Even the men, who were frequently brutal to their wives and usually cruel to animals, were not ashamed of loving babies ..."
Anyway, Bobby Elvis dances off with Abel, so we can see Jax and Clay exchange a long embrace. Clay rumbles, "I'm so happy for you," and Jax says, "Thank you." It's pretty clear he's using that as an all-purpose thanks for everything Clay's done in season three in the name of getting Abel back. Then we transition to Jax sitting to Tara as she dandles Abel and the whole thing is obviously supposed to show how Abel is part of the glue holding those two together.
The celebration and montage continue -- Gemma is sort of bumming, which Bobby Elvis notices because he notices everything -- and Opie announces that he's going to make an honest (i.e. clothed, non-having-sex-for-money) woman out of Lyla. Lyla may want to rethink that offer. Being an old lady for SAMCRO is not for the faint of heart, or for those who enjoy remaining un-gang-raped (Gemma), un-kidnapped (Tara) or alive (LuAnn, Donna).
Everyone then falls to on the fantastic feast -- by the way, nobody in SAMCRO is on a low-carb diet -- and oh, it's all puppies and cupcakes and rainbows and lyrics about living a charming life.
Some time later ... Gemma is cleaning up after the party, and she just rolls on into Jax's room to pick up whatever trash happens to be in there. His cut is on the bed. Naturally, Gemma rifles through it. She notices the ATF folder Jax has stuffed in one pocket, so she pulls it out, reads it and realizes Jax is snitching to the ATF. Clay calls her name and Gemma makes a big show of how she's cleaning and no way is her son talking to the Feds, why whatever would give Clay that idea? Clay is oblivious. He has exposition to deliver: He's off to talk to Big Otto, for there is some sort of prison-specific errand and Otto's the one-eyed guy to do it. Jax sails out of the bathroom on a cloud of nitrogenous fog, gallantly and superfluously warns his mother not to go in there, and delivers his own exposition: He's off to the Indian reservation to pick up something that will come in handy later.
After Jax heads out -- no doubt to continue America's proud history of exploiting its original residents -- Clay sits on the bed and sighs to Gemma, "Today's about to go off the rails, baby. We got to find Jimmy before we go inside ... this is more than retaliation. [sighs] We made a deal with the Irish Kings. Taking out Jimmy gets us access to a much higher level of merchandise." Fearing that Clay is dealing with some bodhran-playing counterpart to the Gipsy Kings, Gemma demands to know exactly who these Irish Kings are (" ... and will I hear their music every time I walk into a Banana Republic?" she asks fearfully. I wish.).
Clay tells her they're the grand high muckety-mucks of the Real IRA, helpfully clarifying, "Red-headed godfathers. You do not say no to these guys." The faces in Jax's dossier fresh in her mind, Gemma refrains from pointing out that not very many of them are redheads, but she can't hide her discomfort. Clay assumes Gemma's concerned about his safety, or perhaps the club's, and reveals that he's not the only member of the Founding Nine with retirement on his mind: "This is good for us, baby. I don't have that many more years at the head of that table. This is an opportunity for us to finish big, set us up for the rest of our lives." Gemma points out that their retirement plans currently include "be incarcerated for an indefinite period," and Clay's all, "Look, we'll worry about that later, okay?" Gemma sits on the bed, miserable and no doubt imagining the horrible things SAMCRO could do to Jax once they find out he's buddy-buddy with Stahl.
After the credits, we go to Jimmy's hideout, where he's trying to impress upon his Russian hosts that the faster he's out of the country, the happier he'll be. The Russians don't seem too concerned about Jimmy's feelings.
Back at Teller/Morrow Motors (and the clubhouse compound), Tig's coming through the front office. He passes a big pile of paper boxes -- the kind meant to store reams of paper, I mean -- and Chuckie says he's got something to show Tig, but Tig's not terribly interested. Well, Chuckie's first mistake was not asking with an opening like, "I might or might not have some Mexican hookers in one of these boxes. Want to see?"
Tig runs into Opie outside; the younger man is carrying two giant rifles -- KG-9s, according to Tig -- that belong to him and Piney. They will apparently be picking up a third giant weapon later. The gun talk ceases as Unser walks over and tells him he'll be at the station if they need him. Tig cheerfully tells him, "You're the best, Chemo-sabe!" Unser does not find this as amusing as Tig does.
Gemma pounds on the hood of Unser's car and dramatically announces that she's turning herself in. Unser's all, "The hell?" but he's clearly having a bad day health-wise and he's in no mood to attempt to reason with Gemma, so off they go.
Meanwhile, Clay is chatting with Big Otto, who is dishing up exposition: Lenny the Pimp (another one of the original nine members of SAMCRO and fellow prisoner) is tight with the Russian crew inside the prison, so if Otto can get Lenny to talk to his pals and find out where Jimmy O's hiding -- and do it ASAP -- that would be swell. Now that business talk is over, Bobby Elvis moves to the small talk, asking the still-fairly-recent widower how he's doing. For a one-eyed guy who's probably going to death row for his most recent murder (of a fellow inmate, as captured on security camera), Otto's doing okay.
In the Charming lockup, Unser lets Stahl visit Gemma, asking, "I need to post a chaperone, or can you ladies chat with some civility?" Stahl stands at the open door of Gemma's cell and says, "We'll be fine." Gemma replies by slamming the door shut and locking herself in away from Stahl. "Good luck," Unser says insincerely to Stahl and limps off. Stahl then hands over a blue dossier, explaining that it contains her statement clearing Gemma of Edmond's murder and that Polly's shooting has been reclassified as self-defense, so Gemma's no longer wa
nted for two murder charges. "Of course, there is still the fleeing custody charge, but with your recent medical flare-up, I got it remanded to house arrest. You'll wear an ankle bracelet for six months, and if you behave, you'll have it off in three." (Man, Tara better hope the wheels of justice turn slowly -- this way, she can go through her pregnancy and deliver the baby without Gemma hovering over her like all three Furies in one.)
Gemma, however, is inclined to deny everything Stahl says, as she's been seized with a fit of maternal resolve and is determined to a) not trust Jax when he asked her to, and therefore b) sabotage his deal with Stahl. "You are going to get him killed, if not by his own club, then by the IRA. You kill the deal or I tell the U.S. attorney it's all bullshit," Gemma orders. Stahl gloats, "Unfortunately, my testimony's already been documented. So even if you wanted to take the fall, it's too late. Looks like you'll have to trust me." However, Gemma gets in the last word. Well, the last monologue: "You actually think [trusting you] is possible? You naïve bitch. The trouble with these deals, these relationships can never work, because they're based on lies. You're lying to your bosses. Jax is lying to his club. You're both lying to each other. There's no trust. Something will go wrong, somebody will get hurt. I promise you, it'll end badly." Stahl barely avoids singing, "But not for me!" before stomping out of there.
She then stomps over to meet Jax at the columbarium on Charming's memorial grounds. Stahl immediately tells Jax that his mom checked herself into the local pokey and is attempting to torpedo the deal Jax and Stahl so carefully put together. This should not surprise Jax -- he has had thirty-odd years of his mother steamrolling her way through his personal life, after all -- and yet he's surprised and irritated that it happened. Stahl shrugs that it doesn't matter, and fills Jax in on how Gemma's been cleared of the murder charges: "Tyler confessed everything to me before she died. Told me everything Gemma said in her statement was true." Jax quickly realizes exactly what happened and backs away in horror and revulsion. "Jesus Christ! Good thing your bosses don't know about our little deal. I'd think killing one of your own might be a bad career move." Stahl's mouth says she didn't kill Tyler, but her crazy, crazy eyes scream, "Oh, yes, I did. And I loved it." Stahl then says, "Your mother seems to believe you and I shouldn't trust each other. Does she know something I don't?" Jax shrugs, "She thinks you're going to get me killed. Are you?" Stahl not-answers that, which is all the answer Jax really needs. Then again, he's not so dense as to know exactly what she is -- is he? Stahl makes some of her garden-variety threats, Jax tosses her the dossier with the Real IRA members and tells her which ones they met with, and their sordid little assignation comes to an end.
Otto and Lenny have a little meeting in the infirmary, and the upshot is that the Russians aren't exactly huge fans of the Irish, so they'll happily hand Jimmy O over -- for the right price. It's on SAMCRO to meet that price. Lenny says he'll get the figure from his friends in the yard, then pass it on to all the interested parties via the SAMCRO raft of attorneys.
On the outside: Unser's looking at the San Joaquin Tribune, where "local hero" David Hale's mayoral run has earned an above-the-fold, four-column layout. This is why newspapers are dying. Unser voices a similar opinion ("What a crock of shit") but before he can continue his trenchant media criticism, Clay's walked in and demanded to see Gemma. As with the hospital, so does the police station need a SAMCRO lounge, since its members are in and out often enough.
Clay and Gemma then have a tense conversation that can summed up in the following sentences:
CLAY: What in the blue hell were you thinking? GEMMA: I don't have to tell you. Just promise me you won't kill my boy when you find out he's a rat for the Feds. CLAY: I have no idea what you're going on about. Can I just find a murderous Irishman and kill him already? My pre-incarceration to-do list is not getting any shorter while I sit in here with you.
In the prior scene, Gemma said, "It's a different time. We can't look at Jax in the same light as John," and in this one, Jax goes to visit John's grave. His "SO" ring is still sitting atop the headstone. After a few minutes of intense deliberation, Jax takes off his "NS" ring and puts it to its partner, then walks away.
Over at the SAMCRO clubhouse, Lowen (aka Counselor Calamity Jane) hands over a sheet of equations that Lenny the Pimp's lawyer forwarded her. "Don't know what it means, don't really want to," she says, then hands over the sheet. "Give us a minute to do the math," Clay asks. "Take a few -- they're big numbers," Lowen says wryly, then leaves the church to go hang with the day-shift croweaters in the bar area. The upshot: they have a latitude and longitude for meeting up with the Russians and handing over the $2 million it will cost to buy Jimmy O. For the broke club, this is not good news. Tig rolls his eyes and asks why they can't just go in there and get Jimmy, since they do have about ten guys and ten times that many guns. Bobby Elvis points out that it's not a matter of knocking over the safe house, and any place where they make an exchange will be host to a small army of Russians.
Tig changes his line of inquiry: "Where the hell are we getting two million? We robbing banks now?" Clay just rolls his eyes.
Jax rolls up and Chuckie darts over to ask, "Can I show you something? It's real important. You really ought to know about it." Jax blows him off with a "Not now, bro," and walks over to Opie, who fills him in on the latest. Jax swears under his breath about this, then Tara waylays him with "I need a minute." Jax gives it to her; in the background, we see Chuckie sprinting for the office. Tara really just wants to know what's going on, but before she can successfully lean on Jax to answer, Chuckie comes out with one of his boxes, opens it, and says urgently, "Look!" Jax and Tara do, and both of them gape in delight.
Cut to the church, where everyone is brooding over the lack of foresight shown in not salting away $2 million for a rainy day. Jax and Chuckie come in with a box, and Clay asks, "What's this?' Jax lets Chuckie tell them: "After Tara got kidnapped, I tried to tell you guys about this. When I was running the counterfeit operation for Lin, I was supposed to throw away all the misprints and dirty runs. Well, I didn't!" Jax flips open the box and we see that Chuckie's been sitting on $5 million in counterfeit currency. Everyone's delighted. Tig pulls Chuckie onto his lap and says giddily, "I'm going to lend you my hand so you can jerk yourself off. Go on! Take it!" Oh, Tig, you are a libidinous enigma wrapped in a mystery and covered in a fine layer of motorcycle grease and dog hair.
The celebratory air in church is short-lived: Bobby Elvis inspects the sheets and points out that they won't stand up under very intense, Russian scrutiny, and predicts that it will all end in bloodshed. Jax looks thoughtful, then essays a solution: Throw enough real cash into the stacks and the Russians will see that first; it'll buy them enough time to get Jimmy and get out of there. Clay cracks, "I got $40 in my wallet." Jax tells everyone he's got an idea.
That idea: Hitting up Stahl for some cash. She offers him the $250,000 they used for Tara's ransom, but it comes with its own price: "We're going to be there. At the exchange [for Jimmy O]." Jax shoots that idea down: "If the Russians see you, they'll kill Jimmy. If my club sees you, they'll know someone ratted. We can't take that risk." Stahl blusters and Jax reluctantly tells her he'll give her the location for the exchange, but the ATF will have to hang back at least a few miles. Jax says, "We'll put Jimmy in the van. You send in your team, pretend you're after the Russians. Let us go, grab Jimmy." Stahl signs off on this suggestion, which is a sign to anyone who has paid attention to her for the past few seasons that she is absolutely planning on bollixing this up in a way that will screw Jax over as hard as possible.
Meanwhile, Jimmy O is busy packing, oblivious to the fact that his hosts have negotiated a $2 million exchange fee. He asks the main guy, "Is Donnie back yet?" and gets an "I don't think so," which is code for "We are busy wrapping his bloody corpse in a tarp out in the porte-cochère."
Cut to the SAMCRO boys -- well, most of them -- getting ready for the exchange. This consists of counting out currency (everyone wears gloves) and fondling their assorted firearms. Then we find out that Tara's gotten roped into this -- much to Jax's unhappiness despite Clay's assurance that "we'll keep her safe" -- and she will be meeting them at some rendezvous point. She's standing by her car, and Jax walks over to ask if she's sure about "this," and Tara replies, "I'm the only one who can do this. Admit it -- you need me." Jax says, "I guess I do," then insists that she put on a Kevlar vest. After fastening Tara into it ("Fancy!" she quips), Jax swears, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." "To us," Tara says, but I'm not sure if she means her and Jax or her and the fetus. Jax chooses to interpret it as the latter. Tara presses Jax to tell her "everything," and he's all, "You'll find out soon enough." Then, time for muchas smooches!
Unser swings by to tell Clay that Gemma's about to be sprung from the pokey and "I'm all set." He concludes with, "You stay whole," and Clay shakes his hand. Before Unser can pull away, Clay hugs him and says, "What you do for us? It won't be forgotten."
Then it's time for the bikers to all hug -- specifically, the four guys who aren't coming with Jax and the main crew (Chibs, Piney, Opie and Kozik) -- and Jax hands the giant, looming prospect (Filthy Phil) two letters with orders to deliver them after he's received a certain text. And not to get all foreshadow-y, but notice how the four people not coming along on this little shopping spree for Irishmen happen to be the four men who are not facing lockup? Hmmmm.
Jax heads to his bike, and Clay says, "I love you, son." Jax gives him a long look and replies, "I love you too." Then everyone's off and running.
We cut to Jimmy in the car with the Russians, and Jimmy's beginning to realize something's not right. When the SUV he's in pulls into the clearing where SAMCRO is waiting, Jimmy realizes what's going on. He turns and says, "Victor, after all I've done for you? The money? The guns? Don't do this." Victor's thinking, "You didn't really do $2 million for me, did you?"
And now, the meeting. Jax hands over two duffel bags worth of cash and three nameless Russian goons go through it to make sure it's all good. Tig nervously eyes the big bag of guns in the front seat while they do it. We zip over to a country road where Stahl is waiting impatiently. She stomps over to her agents and tells them, "Five more minutes and we move in." And in those few minutes: the Russians decide everything's good, Jimmy's marched over ("Clay, Jackson, nothing really to say, yeah?"), and Bobby Elvis walks him to the van while Clay shakes hands and concludes the business transaction. Everyone goes their separate ways.
We see Tara waiting at the bottom of a hill, and when the bikes come down, she looks a little anxious. As well she should: the van stops and we find out that her job in all this is to drive Jimmy O away in the trunk of her car. I suppose the whole "Do no harm" thing is not even a factor outside the O.R. anymore. Jax is nervous as all get out about her doing this, which is sort of sweet, in a "Sorry I made you an accessory" sort of way.
Meanwhile, guess who's just discovered that they're holding a lot of fake currency? Oh, some goons are in serious trouble now!
SAMCRO has been waiting for Victor to pick up on this, so they take off once they spot the SUVs ripping down the road. There's a rolling gun battle in which nobody's hit, and then everyone's going hellbent for leather right through the ATF roadblock. Correction: the bikes go through the roadblock, while the van and the SUVs stay behind. The Russians turn around and peel off, and Stahl clomps over to the van. She orders an APB on the Russians so she can recover the $250,000 in taxpayer monies -- and for that I, an American taxpayer, thank you -- then peers inside the van, fully expecting to see Jimmy O and getting a big backseat full of nothing instead.
Cut to Jax waiting by the side of the road somewhere else and smoking a cigarette. Stahl comes over and demands to know where Jimmy is. Jax shrugs, "He's warm and cozy ... I'm just keeping us both honest: you get Jimmy and my sworn statement when my club gets free of hard time." Stahl whips out a blue folder; it's her recommendation that the weapons charges be reduced from 15 years to three years with parole in half that time. All it needs is her signature -- which she'll plant on the paper once she gets Jax's signature on his statement about the gunrunning operation. Jax asks, "If I sign this, what's to stop you from getting the IRA and letting us rot in prison for 15 years?" Stahl laughs and replies, "What's to stop you from delivering this to your lawyer and killing Jimmy? It's your turn for a show of good faith." Jax sighs and signs the statement. He glares at her and says, "I'm officially a rat. Your turn." Stahl declines to sign. She says, "Where's Jimmy?" Jax pleads, "Don't do this," and Stahl lies that once she sees that Jimmy's alive, she'll sign the deal. "There is no play here," she concludes, and she does not choke on that whopper of a lie thanks to the narrative powers of suspension of disbelief. Jax spits out, "Follow me," and off they go.
scene: the SAMCRO compound. Tara's just loitering, Clay and Gemma are leaning against Lowen's car, hugging, and Lowen (who is rocking the rebel JD look) is standing around and calculating how much money she's going to make just by hanging around. Jax pulls in, and then right on his tail, Stahl and an ATF van. Unsurprisingly, nobody's happy to see her. She, in turn, charms the crowd by asking for Jimmy O and promising, "I can have a dozen agents here inside 20 minutes and they'll shred this white trash shithole." Clay rolls his eyes, looks resigned, then orders Tig to go get Jimmy. He does, and as Jimmy's unfolded from Tara's trunk, un-blindfolded and released from his duct tape bonds, he quips, "Thank goodness for the American justice system." The ATF agents hustle him away
Yeah, well, the native Americans in the parking lot are not nearly so grateful for the aforementioned justice system. Number one on the non-fan list: Jax. Stahl tells everyone: "Your VP made a deal." Jax charges toward Stahl screaming, "Son of a bitch!" and everything gets a little chaotic: Clay acts confused ("What is she talking about?"), Gemma is rooted to her spot in horror, Tig is about to lay a world of hurt on Jax, and Bobby Elvis smacks Jax around while yelling, "You ratted? You ratted?" Jax protests that he had no choice, and nobody is buying it. Gemma pushes her way through the circle of men to plead, "It wasn't his fault, she made him do it --" but the guys force her back out again. Well, there's your visual metaphor for how gender relations work in SAMCRO's world. Clay promises Jax that he's a dead man. Cut to Tara looking horrified. As ATF agents hustle Jax into a holding van, he tells Stahl, "You just signed my death warrant." She says coolly, "I'm sorry, but you know what? Your mother was right. This could never have worked out. There's no trust. I had to make sure the prince had turned rat." Jax's reply: He spits on her shoes. Tara quickly hugs Jax. Gemma's just devastated. Lowen walks over and glares at Stahl. The ATF agent, in turn, signs the deal and tells Lowen that if the SAMCRO boys can keep their stabby impulses to themselves, they could see their three-year sentence reduced to 14 months. (And I guess this is how we'll find out which actors are on the outs with the Sons of Anarchy team season -- they'll be the ones whose characters are serving the full three years.)
Anyway, everyone involved in the Operation: Get Jimmy O caper is loaded into the same van. How awkward for Jax. It gets even more so when the ATF agents decide to line up everyone who is not Jax on one side of the van and let the prince-turned-rat sit alone on the other.
Cut to a big yellow school bus chugging down the highway. Piney's at the wheel. Opie, Chibs and Kozik are sitting in separate seats. Hilariously, Chibs appears to be sucking on a Jameson Irish Whiskey juice box.
We cut to Unser taking off his badge and his official weapon and leaving them on the desk. He really, really looks to be in a lot of discomfort. Which is why it's worrisome that he pulls out a black pistol from his desk drawer, then walks out of the office that's all packed up.
The two prospects are following behind the ATF van containing the SAMCRO boys. We then see Unser following behind two ATF sedans -- Stahl's also contains Jimmy O -- and he flashes his lights to pull the sedans over. Stahl snarks at Unser, and he's appropriately aw-shucksy when he tells her he wanted to keep a bit of info off the police band: "I got an anonymous tip, probably bullshit, but they said four or five of Jimmy's guys are going to be waiting for you up at the Newton turnout. I can call the San Joaquin sheriffs and have them check it out --"
"Sheriffs are idiots. You guys check it out," Stahl orders, and the second sedan drives off, leaving her and Jimmy O alone with Unser. The minute the other law enforcement vehicle's gone, Unser's pulling out a joint and smoking it. Stahl is all, "Really?" and Unser grunts, "I'm stage three cancer, sweetheart. I ain't got that many perks left." He offers her a puff and Stahl declines. "You should really have some," Unser says as the schoolbus pulls up, and pulls a gun on her.
We see that the bus belongs to the Indian reservation -- thereby explaining that earlier bit of exposition -- and as Opie climbs off the bus and looms over Stahl, she says, "You've got to be shitting me! What the hell is going on here?" Opie doesn't answer, but merely walks her over to her car, a gun at her head. He takes off her sunglasses.
Meanwhile, Chibs has walked over, pulled Jimmy O out of the back of the car, and backed him against the bus. The two men give each other a long look: Chibs is breathing heavily, as if trying to realize that this moment is real and not the revenge fantasy he's carried for God knows how many years, while Jimmy seems to have an "Eh, you reap what you sow" resignation.
Jimmy then gets in one last word: "Take care of our girls, Filip, yeah?" Chibs does not even bother correcting Jimmy on the pronoun. He merely says, "Oh, yeah," gives Jimmy the same Glasgow smile Jimmy cut into him so many years ago, then stabs him to death. After Jimmy's body falls, Chibs spits on it.
Stahl's watching in stunned disbelief. Opie forces her behind the driver's seat in her sedan and gets behind her. Between huge, hyperventilating breaths, Stahl pleads for her life: "This is insanity! Do you have any idea what kind of heat this will bring the club?" Opie says quietly, "Put your hands on the wheel." Stahl begins blubbering: "Please, please, Opie. Please don't do this! Please, please, you had mercy before. I'm begging you, don't do this." Opie listens to Stahl sob, then says quietly, "This is what she felt." Then he blows out the back of Stahl's head. The splatter is the most dignified thing about her death.
There's remarkably little blood, considering how much Stahl's got on her hands. By my count, the following people are dead as a direct or indirect result of Stahl's monkeyshines: Donna, Edmond, Half-Sack, Cameron, everyone who died during the Belfast episodes (because there would have been no need for SAMCRO to head over there had the mess with Edmond not started), Agent Tyler, Donnie and Jimmy O. And I'm sure I'm forgetting a few people. ANYWAY, ding-dong the incompetent agent is dead. And while I think Opie's blaming Stahl for Donna's death because it's easier than living with the fact that her murder should be laid at the feet of his "brothers" Clay and Tig ... well, I'm not arguing with the result.
Kozik snaps everyone back to reality, then heads over to Unser, who says mellowly, "Left side. I had bridgework done on the right." Kozak slugs him on the jaw, then when Unser falls onto the hood of his cruiser, asks sweetly, "You okay?" (Awww! I like Kozik.) Unser waves him on. Piney orders everyone back on the bus; before Chibs gets on, he uses Jimmy O's blood to paint the Real IRA's sign on Stahl's windshield. Nice touch!
Then someone texts the prospects, who read their text, grin, and blaze past the ATF van honking their horns. Clay listens incredulously, then we see Jax looking disbelieving. Then Tig begins laughing out loud and everyone begins laughing and smiling. Jax gives one big guffaw and settles down to looking thoughtful.
Cut to Tara walking through Jax's house with a laundry basket -- pro tip from me to you, Tara: Enjoy using both arms while you can, because once that baby's here, you will not have them available anymore. Anyway, Tara is collecting laundry and as she unpacks Jax's travel bag, she finds the packet of letters Maureen hid. The attached note reads, "Dear Jackson, The truth about your father is in these letters. You should know John like I did. -- Maureen." Tara decides the laundry can wait, and settles down in the nursery glider for a good read.
We see Gemma sitting on her bed -- ankle bracelet attached -- cuddling Abel. Lyla leads in the prospects, and Filthy Phil hands over a letter with the instructions, "Jax wanted you to read this, then burn it." Then the prospects politely wish her a good night, and head off to find Tara.
Gemma puts on her reading glasses and we hear Jax's missive: "Hey, Mom. If you're reading this, that means Stahl and Jimmy are dead and the club will be doing short time. I'm sorry it had to be this way, Mom. I know how painful it had to be, but I couldn't tell you. It would have made you an accessory. It was a club vote. I'd never turn on my club or my family. I'm not my father. I love you more than you could ever know."
Then John Teller's voice transitions in with "I love you more than you could ever know. I'd do anything to be with you. Every day, it becomes more clear that I don't belong here. I'm certain now that Clay and Gemma are together. They barely try to hide it from me. Gemma hates my apathy. She hates all of me --"
This litany -- which sounds like the SAMCRO version of "My wife doesn't understand me" -- continues as we transition from Tara reading back to Gemma, who is smiling like the cat who just ate the canary. And why shouldn't she? We transition to Clay looking content. And why not? He and Jax just pulled off a very complicated caper. John Teller continues, "My days are numbered, Mo. When these letters stop, you can be certain my death will come at the hands of my wife and best friend."
Cut to Tara looking poleaxed by the realization that her de facto in-laws may just be murderers. John Teller's VO continues: "At least my sweet Thomas will never suffer my life. I miss him so much." Transition to Jax as John continues, "I only pray that Jackson finds a different path. He already reminds me so much of myself." Then the camera pulls out as the background music ("Out of the Blue" by Neil Young) reminds us that "the king has gone/ he's not forgotten."
And thus the season ends, with John Teller battling for his son's soul from beyond the grave and Clay looking like he's got the upper hand for now. What will Jax be like 14 months from now when he's out of the pokey? Will Tara and Gemma still be speaking once Tara's dealing with her own baby as well as Abel? Will the Russians be out for $2 million in blood? Will Unser still be alive? And what will Charming be like under the Hale Administration? We'll have to wait and see.
Sobell, aka Lisa Schmeiser, is still looking for a SAMCRO baby beanie, in between feeding and changing her new baby. She's still blogging and twittering between the feeding/burping/changing/napping rondeaux.
Check out an episode preview below, discuss it in our forums, and check out our gallery of why SAMCRO should have their charter revoked!
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