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You'll get linear narrative in the recap, I promise. Here are the plot-by-plot play-by-plays to tide you over until then.
SAMCRO's growing pains: The boys vote in three new prospects who, frankly, make Pinto and Flounder from Animal House look like hardened cons. They also vote in Happy, who wants to quit being a nomad and become part of the SAMCRO chapter. But Kozik's request for transfer is blackballed by Tig -- there is bad blood between these two for unspecified reasons -- and the two end up brawling through the clubhouse. They do team up to murder someone later, so there may be hope for these two yet.
When you walk with the devil: Stahl hands Jax the statement Gemma should give, and in turn, Jax leans on his mom to memorize the finer points. Gemma turns in a beautiful performance, admitting to Polly's murder and fingering… Stahl's partner, Agent Tyler, as the dirty ATF agent who shot Edmond. Shocker of the night: It is heavily implied that Stahl's the one who sold her girlfriend up the river. But she's back on the Irish investigation, so she'll have her recovering career to keep her warm.
Fall of the Mayan empire: Most of the SAMCRO boys hijack one of the vans that was supposed to deliver heroin to the Stockton prison. Clay engineers a meetup with the Mayans and strikes a deal: Let the Grim Bastards do the heavy lifting on the heroin runs, and SAMCRO takes a $25,000 toll for each run. Other riders on the deal: SAMCRO kills the rat cooling his heels at St. How Does The Tiny Tax Base In Charming Afford The Hospital, the Lodi puppet club doesn't patch into the Mayans, and the head of the Mayans personally assures the Club's sugar daddy Elliott Oswald that the violence between SAMCRO and the Mayans is over. The upside to this: Oswald arranges passage to Belfast on a cargo shipment out of the Stockton airport.
"We were on a break!" Jax is having pangs of conscience when it comes to whether or not he's good for Tara, and Clay stomps those beneath the heel of his boot with, "She's a chick. Don't complicate it." He then goads Jax into asking Tara to unload their HIV protocol drugs for money, pointing out it's all for Abel. Jax reluctantly asks Tara -- you can tell he really doesn't want to -- and she sets up the deal for him. In a twist of fate seen only on intricately-plotted TV shows, white supremacist/nemesis Darby sees the deal closing. He then takes the intel straight to Hale the Lesser. And somehow, mere moments after that, the San Joaquin sheriffs get the urge to raid the SAMCRO clubhouse just in case they're hiding any drugs. Jax erroneously concludes that someone in on the deal narc'ed, and decides that, for Tara's sake, he had better dump her. Then he runs off to salve his broken heart by banging Ima the porn starlet. Here's hoping his inconvenient sperm don't knock this one up, too.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The SAMCRO boys are enjoying a Taster's Choice moment outside the clubhouse one morning when Bobby Elvis comes out to pee in their coffee: the $10,000 they sent to Serge's tracker in Vancouver is gone. There is apparently no "take-backsies" clause in the deals one makes with a bounty hunter. (And how would you enforce that anyway? Hire a second bounty hunter to track down the first?) Anyway, Opie does not take the news too well, what with it having been his bike that funded that $10,000 bad investment, and Chibs reminds everyone that this situation is actually worse than being out $10,000: "The money we made from the 'roods was in the bag the Mexicans stole from Idiot." Juice -- who knows that he's the answer when you solve the equation for the value of "idiot" winces. In short: this jaunt to the Emerald Isle is going to be very expensive and the club is broke as a joke.
Jax asks about the HIV protocol drugs, but Juice says there's no street value there. Clay piles on the misery by pointing out that "If we blow off that bail hearing this afternoon, we're on the ground. It's going to be a little hard to earn. Think maybe Tara can help us move those scrips?" Jax vetoes the idea. Clay points out, "She's your old lady --" "I don't care!" Jax shouts back. Everyone looks around all, Awwwwkward! and Opie tries to break the tension by asking where the club is in its plan to thwart the Mayans' new heroin run. Tig reveals this week's SAMCRO caper by pointing out the first Mayan run is scheduled to go out at 1 p.m. today. Piney's already thinking about how to take it down, which will not be easy since the Mayans are sticking to well-traveled main roads. Jax exhorts his biker brothers to think outside the box. And this is where you can tell the generational differences between the older guys who founded the club and the younger ones who will presumably carry it forward; one gets the feeling both Clay and John Teller would sooner eat their patches than embrace corporate-speak, and Jax is surprisingly fluent in it. He's going to start demanding that they identify action items and deliverables in church, isn't he?
The breakfast club breaks up because they have to go inside and take a vote on the five people who want into the SAMCRO chapter: Happy, three prospects, and Kozik. You will all remember that Tig really does not like Kozik, for reasons that have yet to be revealed. As everyone heads inside, Kozik pulls Tig aside and says, "I know, I know --" He knocks over a beer and rights it, and Tig contemptuously plugs the foamy bottle while asking, "What do you know?" Kozik says, "I'm not expecting you to be all right with this." "Good," Tig says, and walks off. Kozik rolls his eyes and continues, "I can be an asset to the charter. All right? I'm just asking you to give me a chance." Tig wheels around and looks at Kozik like he's something to be scraped off the bottom of his boot. "We done?" He asks.
Inside church, the guys have just voted on their prospects, and they are the sorriest group of recruits you ever did see. They make Flounder and Pinto from Animal House look like Animal Mother and Eightball from Full Metal Jacket. As Chibs walks over and hands them their brand-new cuts, he says, "Well, boys, the easy part is over." "I get it, man," one of them says, and Jax bellows, "Shut up! You don't say anything unless a member tells you to." Anyway, these poor suckers are prospects for at least a year, and they're on the hook for $75 per month in dues. (This seems really low. What is the money used for? Craft projects? The $225 these prospects are kicking to the club won't even cover a night of drinking for these guys.) Clay adds, "Welcome. Don't get yourself killed." "Now get the hell out of here," Opie commands. Everyone gets, to the bellows of "Shut the door!"
Clay then brings up the requests for transfer -- one from Tacoma (Kozik) and one from the nomads (Happy). He says, "I just want to say, for me, both of these guys would make welcome additions, and to be honest, we need you." They sure do -- those prospects are weaksauce indeed. The voting commences. Happy's unanimously voted in, and his little-boy grin when Jax says, "Yeaaaaah!" is just adorable. Awww, who's the cutest thirteen-time murderer at the SAMCRO table? Happy is! Clay then bangs a gavel and says, "Kozik. Yay." To his right, Tig looks right at Kozik and says, "Nay." Cut to Kozik rolling his eyes and then back to Clay, who says flatly, "Jesus Christ. Really?" Tig shakes his head with, "I don't trust the man." Clay picks up the gavel and slams it down with extreme prejudice.
The church meeting ends. Clay stalks out, absolutely livid, but Happy's all hugs for everyone. Which, again, adorable. Sure, he's a vicious enforcer and 13-time killer, but he loves his mama, sounds like he gargles with Dran-O and is all excited about being part of SAMCRO. Kozik, however, is not all grins and hugs. Clay and Jax drift over to hang out with him, and Clay apologizes with, "I thought he was on board. You stick around, though -- you understand?" Jax adds, "Tig just wants you to know how big his dick is." Oh, what a pity at least one firsthand witness to that particular marvel was iced in episode three. And cows don't yet have the capacity for human speech. Jax assures him, "We'll vote again in a couple of weeks. You'll be SAMCRO." Kozik says, "Yeah? I'ma start the healing."
Then he charges Tig from behind, punches the other man in the kidneys, and gloats, "It's no fun getting sucker-punched, is it?" Piney, who had pulled Tig back to a standing position, gives Kozik a What is WRONG with you, son? look, but steps back. And then Tig and Kozik go to town on each other. The Flounder-esque prospect asks Jax, "Should we do anything?" and Jax drawls, "Yeah. Get some brews. There's gonna be a lot of shit to clean up." Opie has actually grabbed a bowl of popcorn and is happily munching away, Happy is yelling for people to go kill each other, Piney is chortling, and everyone is generally amped on testosterone and spectacle. Kozik and Tig continue to find new ways to make the other bleed.
Clay and Gemma are conferring in her hospital bathroom as Gemma takes care of business. Clay's trying to figure out how to shut down the Mayans, then swing a trip to Belfast with a bunch of folks whom the government will be looking for on account of them jumping bail. He's going to reach out to Osborne, since that is apparently the only person left in Charming who can or will help them. After the water closet conference, the Morrows shuffle back to Gemma's hospital bed. Her lawyer -- played by Robin Weigert, and thus nicknamed Counselor Calamity Jane until I get another name for her -- is amused by this, but doesn't belabor the mirth too much because she's too tickled by her own news: "I spent all last night wrestling with the U.S. attorneys' office. They've agreed to take the death penalty off the table if you'll plead guilty to the two murders." Gemma asks about visitation and Counselor Calamity says, "One thing at a time." Clay's not too happy about this deal, but Gemma's up for it.
Meanwhile, Jax is meeting with Stahl in the hospital chapel. Frankly, I'm amazed she didn't burst into flames upon entry, but one suspends disbelief where one must. Jax's first item of business: Why in the hell is the bail hearing still on today's docket? Stahl's response: While bagging Luke has been good for her career (so far, today), it has not been good enough for her to magically rearrange the bail hearing docket. "Getting through to [the county courthouse system] is going to involve a lot of favors," she says, trying to manage expectations downward. Jax displays a flair for leadership by telling Stahl, "It's not MY problem." Having been smacked down on that item, Stahl moves on and hands Jax a folder; it contains Gemma's statement about what happened with Polly and Edmond at the safe house. The words "And then Agent Stahl set me up" will, of course, be nowhere in that document. Jax reads through it and says, "Wait a minute, this -- I don't get it." Stahl says that he doesn't have to. All Gemma has to do is regurgitate the details back to the people who will be questioning her. "If you want her clear of the homicide, get her on board," Stahl orders. Jax reluctantly agrees. Stahl tells Jax, "I'll make sure to keep you all out of jail for a few more weeks," then exits the chapel. As she heads down the hall, Clay catches sight of her. Jax remains in the chapel, rolling up the statement so he can hide it on his person somewhere. He barely gets it hid before Clay's burst into the chapel, demanding to know what Stahl wanted.
Jax punts, and Clay gets to his other question: "What the hell is going on with Tara?" Jax doesn't know. He tries to explain, "She's a surgeon, Clay. She's in that room, saving lives, every day." Clay rolls his eyes and asks, "And your point?" "It's the opposite of everything I am," Jax says. Clay snorts dismissively: "It's your guilt talking. She's a chick! Don't complicate it. You gotta make a decision, son. She's either in or out. But if she's out, you don't let that hammer fall until she moves those scrips for us. We don't get that cash, we don't get your son." And ... scene. This is brilliant because everyone with half a brain knows that Clay does not think of Gemma as "a chick" who is to be moved around like a chess piece in the club games -- yet Clay has no problem spinning this line of BS when he wants to move Tara around like a chess piece. It's a nice piece of manipulation.
And it works, because the scene has Jax meeting with Tara in the neonatal patients' lounge. He sighs and says, "I need to ask you for a favor. The club came into some prescription drugs, mostly HIV stuff. I was wondering if you know a clinic that might need it." Props to Charlie Hunnam for his delivery here -- everything from his body language to the way he sighs between sentences broadcasts how much he doesn't want to be asking this. Tara asks, "Black market?" and Jax nods nearly imperceptibly. He pleads that he just needs a name, but Tara points out he'll need more than that. She paces, thinking, and Jax watches her, his brow creased like a shar-pei's. Tara finally says, "I know where to take it," and Jax protests, "You're not taking it anywhere." She shoots him down with, "They're medical professionals, Jax. They're not going to buy drugs from a biker." (This argument could get tiresome if Tara breaks it out too much: "They're tax professionals, Jax. They're not going to expect 1099s from a biker." "They're tenured professors, Jax. They're not going to accept a thesis on Rimbaud from a biker." "They're pastry chefs, Jax. They're not going to accept plastic sacks of white powder from a biker." And so on.) Reminded again that there's a rather large professional gulf between the two of them, Jax can only seethe. Tara's helping, whether he likes it or not.
And now, it's capering time! And by that, I mean it's time to see the SAMCRO boy
s acting like a well-oiled criminal machine. First step: to have Happy discreetly shoot out a tire on a Madina Janitorial Supplies van. Second step: dispatch a few bikers to provide an ambush up ahead. Third step: Send Happy and Kozik by as the world's most coincidental tow truck operators. Happy offers to tow the ruined van for $40, and the van folks take him up on it. They dispatch one young man to ride in the van with Happy and Kozik. To be continued ...
Back at the hospital, Jax has handed Gemma the statement she's to read to the Feds. He stresses, "This is what happened at the safe house, point for point." Gemma quickly figures out that Jax got his statement from Stahl, and all her confused irritation drains away. With real fear in her eyes, Gemma asks, "What did you do?" Jax leans forward and says, "I'm protecting my club and my family." Gemma orders him, "Do not get in bed with this bitch," and Jax lunges forward to tell Gemma what's what. "This is not up for discussion. Do you hear me? Right now, you're not my mother. You're just a member's old lady, and I am telling you, this is what you need to do to protect SAMCRO." Gemma shakes her head and starts, "Jackson --" but Jax cuts her off with, "Mom. You need to trust me. And this has to be our secret." Gemma looks back at the statement. Again, great scene, mostly because you can tell that Jax's spiel about being a member's old lady is partly him channeling Clay, partly him trying to blow off frustration that his own old lady is not exactly making his life easier inside or outside the club. But let's not forget: Gemma accedes to this because, above SAMCRO, she loves her family and Jax ended up hitting her where she lived with the idea that by going along with this, they could save each other.
Capering time! Step four: Drive the tow truck off the main roads and on a service road. Step five: Have Kozik punch the Mayans' guy and toss him out of the van. Step six: Drive the van to a dead end where the collective firepower of SAMCRO is ready and waiting for the two Mayan bikers. Step seven: Begin shooting, A-Team style, where there are a lot of bullets flying around and yet nobody actually getting hit. Step eight: Crack open the Madina Janitorial Supplies van like a pinata and verify that there is smack buried in the industrial-sized barrel of Comet cleansing powder. The guys are all giddy that nothing has gone wrong for a change. Kozik is grinning like a hyena, but his smile fades when he looks over and sees Tig giving him a glare that implies a long, slow, painful and psychotically creative near-death incident.
Clay -- who stayed out of the Great Smack Caper of '10 for many reasons -- is in Unser's office. He sits and says he never got a chance to formally express his condolences on Hale's passing, and does so with, "Hale was a pain in the ass, but that's a bad way to go." Sensitively put, Clay. No doubt Unser appreciates it. Clay makes his pitch to Unser: "You and me, we've been through a lot, Wayne. We made a deal to keep the blood out of our back yard. Well, lately I ain't been holding up my end. Half-Sack getting killed, drive-by outside of [the funeral home] ... I just want to let you know that the weight of that ain't been lost on me, and I ain't ever going to let that happen again." Clay's looking directly at Unser, but the sheriff won't look anywhere at him. Unser finally speaks. "I wish I could believe that, Clay. Truth is, I feel closer to SAMCRO than I do most folks in [the police precinct]." Clay continues with his baby-come-back speech, "We got a line on where Abel is. Belfast. We're going to go get him." Unser raises his eyebrows politely, because it beats snidely saying, "And 'Belfast' is code for 'a bar down the street,' because I know you're not telling a sworn officer of the law you're about to blow town on the day you have a bail hearing." Clay wordlessly confirms that he's talking about Belfast, Ireland, and Unser says angrily, "Is that what this is about, this mea culpa? You need a favor?" Why, yes! That is what this is about. Unser says, "The compromises I make, the associations I have, at the end of the day, the thing that allows me to sleep is knowing that I'm keeping Charming safe. And I ain't been sleeping much lately, Clay. I cannot help you go AWOL. I wish that didn't make me feel as bad as it does." The two men exchange a long look, filled with a lot of regrets.
Gemma's now giving her statements to the Feds. In the room: Gemma, Counselor Calamity, Stahl, her girlfriend Agent Tyler, and some man in a suit whose job it is to take notes. Gemma starts by explaining that she spied Polly in a grocery store and followed her to the safe house because she was in the mood to issue a little post-rape vengeance. Gemma then outlines this sequence of events: "I walked into the house, saw Polly in the doorway of the back room. She had a gun. I took mine out. That's when I saw the Irish kid laying on the ground, dead." Stahl mutters, "That's a lie," and the lone man in the room looks back at Stahl and says, "This is a deposition, not an interrogation [pause], agent. You're here as a courtesy." Stahl tries to simmer down. At least, I think she tries. Ally Walker's face is so dermabrasioned, Botoxed, Juvedermed and otherwise treated, it's tough to get a read on the trout-pout Kabuki mask she has passing as an expression. Gemma continues, "Polly spotted me, and got her gun. I shot first. Kill or be killed." In the background, Counselor Calamity heroically restrains herself from an epic facepalm. Gemma says, "Then I sat on the couch, kind of in shock, really. Never killed anybody before. Then this ATF agent walked out of the back room. She'd been hiding there the whole time. My guess? She's the one who killed Edmond, put the dirty kill on me." Stahl tries to look indignant while snarling, "You're a liar." Counselor Calamity says, "We're not asking you to make guesses, Gemma." The male Fed asks, "Can you identify the agent?" Can she? Gemma pegs Agent Tyler as the dirty killer. Stahl lets her jaw unhinge to indicate shock. Agent Tyler continues to look impassive, as only the innocent can.
Having finished his business with Unser, Clay's moved on to the item on his to-do list: meeting with the Mayans under a bridge somewhere. On one side: SAMCRO and the Grim Bastards. On the other: the Mayans and the Calaveras club. Alvarez would like to know what's going on. Clay tells Alvarez to stop playing the ingenue: he knows they're patching over Calaveras in an effort to expand their heroin network down to Stockton prison. Alvarez says, "If you're here to declare war, consider it already on." Clay says, "We're tired of getting bloody. Your attack at the wake, our attack at Zobelle's getaway ... why don't we just call it even?" You should: This alleged war is beginning to look like a Looney Tunes reel where both sides just keep taking hits.
Alvarez disagrees: "Too much bad blood to call it even." Clay says, "That's my point. We've been doing this too long, Marcus. Nobody ever wins." Chibs comes over and shows Alvarez the heroin and balloons that they took off the van. Alvarez immediately begins whaling on the Calaveras president. Clay deadpans, "Moving high-risk cargo is ... tricky. Things tend to get lost in transit. However, if it comes across our borders again, we can guarantee safe passage to Stockton." Jax adds, "That's why you're patching over these idiots, right? So shit like this don't happen? We got a better idea. Our brothers in Lodi are more capable. With our support, your new enterprise is protected." T.O. stands there and looks capable. Clay catches Alvarez's eye, smirks a little and says, "I'm trying to make peace here." And peace comes at the low, low price of $25,000 per each heroin run, PLUS whatever fee the Grim Bastards decide to charge. Alvarez agrees to the deal. Jax is all, "Oh, by the way, no Mayan charter in Lodi," and Alvarez looks at the Calaveras crew and sneers, "Shit, none of these bitches would have made the cut anyway." This sets off the boys from Calaveras, and Alvarez takes out the president of the bullshit MC with one punch. Cut to Juice thrumming with vicarious pleasure at that. Alvarez then attaches his own rider to the deal: Remember that guy who fell out of the van during the spray-and-pray? One with the squeezed testicles? Alvarez wants him dead. Since SAMCRO has the run of St. I Don't Know How The Charming Taxpayers Support That Hospital, this will not be a problem. Clay and Alvarez shake on it, then Jax and Alvarez shake. As they turn to go, a particularly large Mayan -- let's call him Chichen Itza, as he is giant and pyramid-shaped -- tosses something to Juice, and Alvarez casually mentions that they've been holding on to Juice's cut. He asks, "How could you let those bitches take your cut, ese? You're an embarrassment to Latinos everywhere." Juice has no clever reply to that. But he does get to beat up a Calaveras club member, so it's all good.
Back at the hospital, Agent Tyler and Stahl are sprinting through the hallways, and Tyler is asking Stahl why Gemma might be accusing her of killing Edmond. Stahl's reply: Because Gemma Morrow is a lying liar who lies, and Tyler's just a convenient target. Tyler's not buying that explanation, so Stahl desperately lunges for Argument B: "We have proof, all right? We've got fingerprints on the gun, motive ..." Tyler gives her a Girl, please look, as she is well aware of how weak the evidence truly is, and Stahl moves to Argument C, which can be distilled to Baby, trust me. Don't I always do you right?. It is a sign of how bleak the lesbian dating scene is in Charming that Tyler drops it and goes along. Now, hands up all you readers who are sure that Stahl is betting that by pinning this on Tyler, the whole case will get thrown out and she'll end up unscathed? Okay, keep your hands up if you suspect that, in fine Sons of Anarchy tradition, this plan will be blown to hell by the season's end because a) it relies on a series of assumed events that will likely not come to pass, and b) Stahl is involved and she will inevitably get handicapped by her own incompetence.
Back in Gemma's hospital room, Counselor Calamity calmly inquires, "You want to explain to me why you sabotaged your deal?" Gemma mutters, "I had a change of heart." "The U.S. attorney's office is furious. I don't know what to do here, Gemma," Counselor Calamity says. Gemma says, "Yeah. Sorry. I gotta get out of this room for a while. Could you just ask my babysitter there if we could take an escorted therapy stroll? Then I'll fill you in on what's going on, I promise." Counselor Calamity almost smiles at this.
Hey, everybody! It's Darby the flame-broiled racist! (Flame-broiling: It sears in the hate without sacrificing any of the juicy ignorance.) He's alive and receiving treatment at a clinic on the outskirts of Charming, which is how he happens to witness Tara and Jax unloading all the HIV protocol drugs. It's a joyless transaction -- Jax is not at all happy about his old lady brokering this deal -- but Darby is giddy with revelation: "Son of a bitch, SAMCRO's in the drug business."
Aaaaaand cut to him cornering Hale the Lesser at a diner in town to pass along the news that SAMCRO's trafficking in controlled substances, the filthy hypocrites. Hale the Lesser successfully deduces that Darby's telling him this because, if he acts on it and engineers a raid of the SAMCRO clubhouse, it'll clear the illegal drug field for Darby. The flame-broiled racist denies this: "The Nords are almost done and getting burned to near death tends to make one rethink one's priorities." He just wants revenge against SAMCRO.
And in the scene, it looks like Hale the Lesser's going to give it to him. We're in the precinct house where a blonde cop is fielding a phone call from the San Joaquin sheriff's department. When she hangs up, she tells Unser that the sheriff is planning a raid on the SAMCRO clubhouse and they want Charming PD to assist. Unser shakes his head, but he's not exactly trotting away to give Clay a heads-up.
Meanwhile, it's time for SAMCRO to make good on that promise to Alvarez in re: the rat. So it's Capering Time II: More Capering. Step One: Send Opie into the hospital in full Holy-shit-he's-scary biker drag; accessorize him with a bouquet. Step Two: Have him ask to see Gemma, then wait near the rat's hospital room so he can keep an eye on security. Step Three: Have Chuckie pull the fire alarm, then cavort like a lunatic until the security guards chase him. Step Four: Tig and Kozik rush into the unguarded corridor dressed as maintenance workers; they set their prop ladder right against the one security camera that can capture them. Whoops! No images on film now! Step Five: Have Tig and Kozik go inside the hospital room. As Kozik keeps guard, Tig tries to inject the rat's IV line with something lethal. The rat wakes up and sends Tig to the floor with a well-placed hit on Tig's apparently glass jaw. Kozik supresses his giggles as he rushes in to subdue the guy. There is some fumbling -- Tig lost his cyanide string when he went down -- but it all works out for everyone but the rat. Step Six: Get the hell out of there right as the security guards come back with Chuckie.
And now, the club is conducting a postmortem on that little operation. Tig's incisive analysis, delivered to Kozik at the top of his lungs: "Brains before bullets, asshole! You slammed the side of his head -- wham! If they see that, that's going to point to homicide." "And cyanide won't?" Kozik asks. "His heart stopped! Could be for 100 reasons. Even if they did an autopsy, it'll take days. We'll be long gone," Tig says. I just want to know when in this postmortem we're going to get around to answering the question, "Whose bright idea was it to team up Tig and Kozik? And who are they trying to punish?" The answer, it would appear, is "The rest of the club," as everyone's making the universal "I have a headache" gesture while Tig and Kozik continue to yell at each other.
The meeting goes even further downhill when the joined forces of the San Joaquin sheriff's department and Charming PD break in and tell everyone to get on the floor.
The only one who doesn't instantly fling his hands up and dive for the carpet is Bobby Elvis. He just sits back and lights a cigarette, correctly figuring that there's no point in rushing things. The blonde apologizes under her breath to Jax as she orders him to the floor. As Clay creakily lowers himself, he sees Unser and can't help the look of acute betrayal that passes across his face.
And the raid is now over -- the po-po found nothing of interest -- and SAMCRO figures it out: the raid was about search-and-seizure, and the cops must have been looking for prescription drugs. How fortunate for SAMCRO that they had unloaded the last of them mere minutes ago. Juice asks, "How the hell did they know?" and Jax nearly swallows his tongue when he realizes this has to be linked to his deal at the clinic. Tig fields a phone call and peels off in one direction. Clay decrees the whole thing as bullshit and charges off toward Unser.
As Unser's getting into his vehicle, Clay wrenches the door open and snarls, "We're face to face a couple of hours ago, you can't give me the hint that shit's going to go down?" Unser correctly protests that he didn't know and it happened fast. Clay is not buying it, and as he walks back over to Jax, he snarls, "Cancer boy? Dead to us." Oh, that decision will not work out well for SAMCRO over this season, I don't think. And as if Clay doesn't have enough on his plate right now, what with the seething fury and all, Gemma just talked to Tig, and Osborne's on his way over. Clay gives random orders to people: "Call our friend. We got half an hour to pull this shit off."
A Prius pulls up, and Opie's all, "Ah, crap." It's so awkward when your girlfriend visits on the job sometimes. Especially when she brings along the walking petri dish known as Ima. Opie's all, "What is she doing here?" and Lyla would rather not say, "I'm abetting her persistent stalking of Jax Teller" so she vaguely mutters things about Ima needing a ride (... and a penicillin drip, no doubt) and tells Opie that she'd like the Caddy so she can pick up the kids from school. Opie goes digging for the keys. Meanwhile, Ima goes digging for Jax's libido. She saunters over to where he's getting on his motorcycle and says, "This is probably a bad time, but I was hoping to get that lift home." Jax says, "You're right. It is a bad time," then vrooms off. Ima saunters off, presumably to re-evaluate her game. Here's a hint, Ima: Think about why you no longer have a working car in the first place. Then ask yourself if maybe there's someone else in the club who doesn't come with a trigger-happy old lady riding behind him.
Stepfather and son are now strolling through the corridors of the hospital. Within seconds, it appears everything is coming up Teller-Morrow: Not only do they get to see the body of the rat being wheeled away, they also get a walk-by meeting with Counselor Calamity and their bail hearing's been pushed back ten days. Jax feigns surprise at this development, then peels off to wait for "our friend."
In Gemma's hospital room, she and Clay are giving Osborn the 411 on Abel. He listens and says, "I'm sorry about Abel, I really am. But if I'm going to have a shot against Hale, I can't be associated with SAMCRO." Clay revives the speech he gave to Unser about keeping the violence out of the back yard. He then asks, "Your forestry equipment -- how do you get it overseas?" Why, via cargo jets out of Stockton. And then the penny drops for Osborn and he realizes Clay is asking him to set up a cargo jet to Belfast so SAMCRO can fly overseas without the hassles of flying commercial. It's a smart move, but I confess: I am a little disappointed that this means we won't get an episode where SAMCRO's stuck in the coach seats on a transcontinental flight. Just imagine the hijinks! Bobby Elvis charming someone into giving him the aisle seat on an emergency row. Tig ravaging flight attendant after flight attendant, then shrugging, "It was a long flight. I had to find something to do!" Opie stewing as he tries to fold himself into a middle seat. It could have been comedy gold. Oh, the missed opportunity.
Clay ends up sealing the deal by introducing Osborn to Alvarez -- with Alvarez personally delivering assurances of no more bloodshed. He rolls out of the chapel with a "Hope you find your boy" to Jax. Aww, biker dad code! It is amazing to me how many of these guys -- those boys who had Cammy's boat, Alvarez, etc. -- seem genuine when they wish Jax well. ANYWAY. Osborn realizes he's running out of good excuses to say no to SAMCRO, and sighs that he's got a cargo flight to Manchester, Great Britain tomorrow evening at 6 p.m. He and Clay shake on it, and it looks like SAMCRO's about to head overseas! If they time it right, they can even take in a Manchester United game. I have a feeling that SAMCRO + football hooligans = proof that some universal human traits transcend nationality or upbringing.
His part in brokering the deal between Osborn and Clay done, Jax rolls down the hall to see Tara. They sit together in the lounge, mired in yet another of their frequent and depressing sullen silences, until Jax finally speaks up: "Sheriffs raided the clubhouse, looking for illegal scrips." Tara breathes, "Oh my God, how did they know?" Jax snaps, "You tell me! You told me we could trust that doctor." Tara is sure the doctor didn't say anything, while Jax rebuts, "Well, someone did." He sighs, leans forward and says, "I get caught, I can do the years. But you ... narc raps are real time. Your medical career would be over. Do you get that?" Tara is still trying to figure out what the hell Jax is so upset over, and protests, "You asked me for help. This is not my fault." Jax is all too aware of that. He's furious, but not with her. Perhaps a little with Clay, but mostly with himself -- for feeling as if his club keeps putting the people he loves in danger, for feeling as if he's failed to protect his family, for pushing Tara into doing the deal despite his misgivings, for thinking he could somehow have both the legit girlfriend and the lawless biker career.
So Jax tells Tara, "I'm done." He stands up, kisses her and walks out, leaving her wondering what in the hamfat just happened.
And now, the finishing montage. We see Clay and Gemma cuddled together on her hospital bed, watching The King and I together. (Mr. sobell loves that movie. Like, looooooooves that movie. And gets really upset whenever I sit down to watch it with him and start making fun of Deborah Kerr's delivery of "Oh, your majesty!" So I've learned to heroically suppress my chatter. Truly, that movie is a testament to what spouses will do to make one another happy.) Anyway, it is very humorous that the same man who dismisses one member's old lady with "She's a chick" will, at the end of the day, show how Gemma is the sun around which his world revolves.
The montage continues. We see that Opie and Lyla are passed out all over each other. Then we see Tyler cuddled up to Stahl; Stahl does not have her arm wrapped around Tyler, but is awake and staring up at the ceiling. Yeah, she's totally gambling with her girlfriend's career to save her own. I'm calling it now. Tara is lying alone in a double bed, blinking back tears as she stares at the ceiling, one hand on her belly where her uterus is already expanding.
And then, we see Jax. More precisely, we see a lot of Jax, as we get the full rear view of the man pumping away at Ima in his clubhouse bedroom. Well, Horace's Ars Poetica did say if you drop a porn starlet in act one, she'll be banging a biker by act three. And really, who are we to argue with Rome's leading lyric poet?
sobell, AKA Lisa Schmeiser, is nobody's leading lyric poet. She is, however, tweeting over at lschmeiser, she is part of the Comic Book Club podcast at The Incomparable, she blogs all over the place, and she would like to know where she can purchase a SAMCRO baby hat like the one Abel had.
See an interview with Kim "Tig" Coates from Sons of Anarchy.
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