Like the cleaner with a dead body, let's break this episode down into its constituent parts.
When Irish Guys are Lying: Jimmy O continues to lie to SAMCRO as to Abel's whereabouts. And that baby's on the move again: Father Ashby is going to arrange an under-the-table adoption to "a good Catholic family." Maureen tries to give Gemma a heads-up, but the only number she's got is for Gemma's cell, which is locked in a desk at Teller-Morrow Auto. We also find out that John Teller stepped out on Gemma with Mo, lo those many years ago, and Mo's still carrying a torch for the man. This raises many questions -- Is Mo's daughter Trinity Jax's half-sister? Who in SAMCRO knows about the Maureen/John Teller affair? How will Jax react if he finds out? But the most pressing question of all: Will it ever occur to these guys to just head to Belfast?
Skeleton Crew: Via a string of events both idiotic (Tara untying one of the captive Amelia's hands out of concern for her blood circulation) and incredible (Gemma stabbing Amelia with a knife Amelia's holding in her hand), Gemma and Tara are faced with a problem: How to get rid of a dead woman's body? Naturally, Tig knows a guy, Bachman, who can do the job. We never find out exactly how Bachman the clean-up guy gets rid of Amelia's mortal remains. But we do know he charges in the low four figures and has eclectic taste in religious art and 1980s music. Also: When Gemma's not busy demonstrating that you do not f*** with Gemma Teller, she's having a very poignant conversation with Nate about how he's got to go live someplace where people can take care of him.
You Can't Spell "Dope" Without "Opie:" Clay leans on the Grim Bastards to gather intel on the Mayans. Fine, say the Grim Bastards, but they want some nice, big, illegal weapons for their troubles. In order to procure the weapons, Clay goes to Lin for a shipment. Lin's amenable, but only if SAMCRO works their Caracara contacts and brings in a passel of porn starlets to pleasure the jaded Hong Kong clientele he's entertaining that afternoon. Opie's new lady, Lyla, is all for this, telling him it's for the club and revealing that she only has a limited time left of looking like jailbait fetish material anyway, so Carpe Verpus, she reasons. Opie is fine with this in theory, but catches sight of it in practice and loses his mind on the Hong Kong guys. Clay salvages the day by cutting Lin in on another facet of SAMCRO's gun-dealing business.
The Cut Direct: When a group of barbershop regulars (including Unser) pointedly snub Piney on the day of Hale's service, he gets an inkling that the town of Charming is pissed at SAMCRO. The second indication: Charming's town council put a motion before the San Joaquin DA to get a new bail hearing in the assault case, so the boys could go back to jail until the hearing. Jax's genius idea: Bag jail -- he'll take a road trip to Canada! And he can bring his mom, too! He initially intends to be the only one going, but Clay rallies the club and everyone decides, What the hell, when you get a chance to go hang out at the Granville Island Brewing Company, you take it. But at the very end of the episode, Juice gets an email from the Belfast club VP and it's a picture of Cameron's dead body … so now the guys are genuinely confused as to where Abel is.
Exchange of the Night:
JAX: [asking about Opie and Lyla] Looks like you guys are working things out, huh?
OPIE: I can never tell. Every time I try to talk to her, we end up naked.
BOBBY ELVIS: Just marry her. That'll stop it.
Hey, everyone! It's the Grim Bastards! They're hanging out with SAMCRO and getting the 411 from Clay and Jax: the Mayans want to expand the heroin market in the local pokey, and their cut-and-bag operation is going to go through Lodi on its way to Stockton. T.O's response to Clay: "Ah, shit. I know y'all ain't going to let that happen." Jax stalls: "We run at this now, it'll turn long and bloody --" "Alvarez don't want a war any more than we do," Clay hastens to add. He then pulls a move most upper-level managers would admire: Turning the Lodi expansion into T.O.'s problem by tasking T.O. with collecting intel on when and where the Mayans process and mule their sweet lady H. T.O. looks back at his enormous, bald enforcers and they shrug all, "Dude, I'm not wearing the 'president' patch. Go preside!" So T.O. sighs and says they'll begin digging, but the Grim Bastards want at least half a dozen AK-47s for their trouble. Clay manages to get it down to some MP-5 submachine guns instead. I ... hate to say it, but when Tig's not around, Clay is actually quite an effective leader.
No sooner does that meeting end than the Real IRA's local boys show up. To make a short scene even shorter: the Irish are still maintaining the fiction that Cameron is enjoying poutine and Barenaked Ladies concerts in the Great White North. Jax is not thrilled to hear any of this, and has to be physically pushed out of the meeting; Clay is more suspicious of the Irish, but that doesn't stop him from conducting a little light arms smuggling. As Clay finishes his deal, Opie says gravely, "We've got to find Abel -- and soon." Oh, you think?
Zip! We're in Belfast and Father Ashby has just finished washing his hands, presumably to get the blood off them. Oh, wait, my bad -- he's sitting down to Maureen's kitchen table. She queries, "Should I ask?" and Father Ashby says, "He got the blessings. It was fast. We did what needed to be done." Maureen looks heavenward for a moment before saying, "I'm losing sight of that need, brother." Well, that's too bad, because Father Ashby's not justifying anything. Instead, he's here to take Abel and place him with "a good, Catholic family." When Mo points out that Abel already has a family, Father Ashby clucks, "You can't make this about your love for John." What-what-WHAT? John Teller had a fling on the side when he was in Ireland? What a deliciously soapy revelation! I don't know which likelihood I'd enjoy watching unfold most: 1) That Gemma never knew about it and nobody told her because, hey, the code of the club means old ladies don't exist once you've broken the ten-mile radius out of town; 2) That Gemma did know about it, because their marriage was under strain owing to a sick child and John wanted to come clean for some reason; 3) That Gemma did know about it, because Clay told her.
Anyhoodle, Maureen gives some clues as to how it went down with, "Ever think he got it all wrong, Kell? That if JT had stayed with me in Belfast, we'd all be better off?" Dude. DUDE! The soapy revelations keep foaming up! John was considering abandoning Gemma and his two sons! Oh my gosh, how could Clay not sit on that intel and use it to woo the widow Teller (or the Missus Teller) later? Anyway, Father Ashby has no interest in playing the What-If game. He's here for the boy, and off he goes to fetch TV's most docile baby.
Zip! We're off in ... wherever Nate and Rose had retired to. Tara's cleaning off Tig's wound, no doubt secretly relieved that it's not a scrotum inflamed by a bad prosthesis, or a buttock weeping with sepsis from dog bites, or ... you get the point. A bullet wound to the shoulder is no big whoop. Tig gives every evidence of having liberally indulged in Rose's Vicodin when he says swoopily, "Thanks, doc. You're getting pretty good at this. I'm sorry I pulled you away from your work." OK, forum posters, discussion topic: Is Tig being all solicitous and polite here because a) he's doped up; b) it's a club thing to give respect to an officer's old lady; or c) in his taxonomy of women, there are people he sleeps with, and people he doesn't, and the ones he doesn't, he's more civil to?
Tig asks about Jax, but before Tara can really go to town on her communication problems with Jax, Gemma comes in; she's been unable to find Nate since the morning. Also, the hunting rifle with which Tig was winged is missing. Tig recalls hearing a car take off about half an hour prior, which, of course, reassures nobody. Gemma flees toward the driveway and sure enough, the Cadillac is gone. "Is he okay to drive?" Tara wonders. "It depends what decade he thinks he's cruising in," Gemma answers. (Hee.) Tara reasons, "Where would he go? Someone must know his routine." Gemma sighs, because the one person who does ...
... Is currently being held captive in the basement. Amelia's in an old housecoat, duct-taped to a wheelchair, with a sleep mask on, and an easy-listening station is playing so she can't hear anything upstairs. Tara takes all this in and asks, "My God -- are you insane?" Tara, have you never met Gemma before this? I mean, there's a fine line between acting as a presumed viewer stand-in and acting as if you've had an eight-month-long case of amnesia regarding the capabilities of one Gemma Teller.
Gemma briefly outlines the situation to Amelia, who promptly uses it as a reason to plead for her release: "You cut me loose, I'll help you find him. My hands and my feet are numb, my ass is killing me, you can keep a gun on me, I'll help you make a few calls. That's the deal." Amelia's still blindfolded, so she can't see the Girl, PLEASE look Gemma just gave her. Gemma folds her arm and says, "Let me remind you of your circumstances. You are tied up in a basement with no family, no friends anywhere in the States. You drop off the planet, no one knows. No one cares." Amelia asks, "You threatening to kill me?" Gemma says menacingly, "No. But I look around this room, I see a drill, boycotters, a welding torch, lots of shit [to] make you really uncomfortable." Cut to Tara doing a facepalm, all I cannot believe JAX was the voice of reason in our last conversation. Amelia calls Gemma a psycho, which goes over about as well as you expect: "If anything happens to my dad because of your stalling, I'll make sure you end up in this wheelchair permanently." Amelia spits in Gemma's face, and Gemma shouts, "Bitch!" before belting Amelia in the face and stomping off. Anyone who was betting on Amelia surviving the episode, prepare to pay out. She's not demonstrating anything we could call "survival instincts."
Down in California, Clay's hanging at Lin's restaurant and getting a little cross-cultural education. Oh, not really -- he's making small talk with Lin prior to Lin throwing a lunch for his Hong Kong clients. The small talk turns into a business request -- many big guns, please, and Lin offers SAMCRO the family rate of $2000 per gun. Clay says, "We're gifting this hardware. Ain't got that kind of up-front cash." (Which is why it is baffling to me that SAMCRO considers Juice to be any kind of computer whiz: Why do they not have him trying to siphon cash out of bank accounts, or running a Nigerian prince-style scheme, or stealing credit card numbers? Not that I condone these things, but since this club already has a demonstrable bent toward extralegal ventures, why not look to the 21st century for your money?)
Lin comes up with a possible solution that makes them all happy: SAMCRO provides some Caracara tail for this client party, the client gets to indulge in their new pastime (filming themselves banging American porn stars) and Lin doesn't have to try and sell anyone on his paltry supply of Asian whores. Jax pulls Opie aside and asks if Lyla can reach out to a few of the Caracara girls and offer a 50/50 split for the work. Let's hope Opie has the good sense to not mention the split part and just tell the girls they're getting $5000 apiece for a party, not the $10,000 apiece Jax is asking of Lin. Clay sensitively s
ells the deal with, "Give us the guns, pay us the difference in cash, charge Hong Kong Spew-y whatever you want for the party flicks." Lin conveys the sentiment that for $10,000 apiece, he better be getting high-end ladies and they better be prompt. Cut to Opie glowering over the intimation that his ladyfriend is anything other than the Brooke Astor of the anal gangbang set.Back in Charming: a bunch of men, including Unser, are preparing to get groomed at Floyd the Barber's (hee!), possibly in anticipation of Jacob Hale's funeral that afternoon. At least, that's what they were planning to do until Piney walked in. Then, everyone makes a point of getting up and leaving. Funny how a town can hold a grudge over a biker gang bringing violence onto its formerly-safe streets, huh? The most wounding part of this cut direct? Unser shaking Hale the Lesser's hand in clear sight of the shop. With that handshake, and the sentence, "This town needs Charming PD," Unser's thrown in his lot with Hale the Lesser.
SAMCRO is hanging with Precious's significant other/bounty hunter Serge, and he's delivering the news: ""Timothy O'Dell" only stayed one night in Vancouver, then ... nothing. "If it were me, I'd pick up another ID and keep the trail cold," Serge says. Even worse news for Jax: Serge has no heft north of the border, as hunting bounties is an American privilege. "What do you do if you want to hunt someone north of the border?" Bobby Elvis asks. The answer: resort to mercenaries, preferably the type who don't ask questions. He can recommend someone, but the guy doesn't work cheap -- $10,000 per head. Nobody thinks to ask if there's a "children under 2 hunted for free" clause in the deal, so Jax just goes ahead. Looks like the club will need $12,000 for the MP5s, and $20,000 for their fool's errand in Canada.
And in what I believe is the first shot of SAMCRO at their body shop -- remember? These guys allegedly fix cars for a living? -- we get some bad news. Rosen's partner Ally Lowen swings by and explains, "Charming City Council put a motion before the San Joaquin judge. They want a new bail hearing in the assault case." Clay stalks off so he doesn't have to curse in anyone's face directly, and it's up to Chibs to wring exposition out of Lowen with "What does that mean?" It means everyone goes back inside until the trial for the break-in at the church dinner. This is basically the town fathers' response to the spray-and-pray at Half-Sack's wake. Clay asks what happens if they don't show. "Longer you're in the wind, the more time it adds. A hundred and eighty days before your bail is forfeited," Lowen says. She is no dummy, and realizes that these guys are weighing their options as to whether to skip or not. The hearing is Friday, and all she asks is a heads-up either way. On a completely unrelated note: Good to see you, Deadwood alumna Robin Weigert! I hardly recognized you all clean and sober.
And now, SAMCRO's in church. Jax is explaining that the best intel he has puts Cameron and Abel in Vancouver, so that's where he's headed. Jax sells it with, "I'll do this last run for the Irish, pick up my mom, get some new ID, and head north. It gets Gemma out of Dodge, I'll hook up with Serge's tracker, find my kid." Clay says only, "You ain't going alone." Jax tries to plead reason: "We don't know how these San Joaquin charges are going to land. Lowen said most of the people in that hall won't testify. It might end up just being the federal gun charges, but if we all skip, we look guilty. They'll use that against us. I can't ask you guys to take that hit." "But I can," says Clay. He grins and asks, "Who's up for a Canadian adventure?" Everyone raises their hands. Jax grins and shakes his head, overwhelmed. Then he grins and says, "You're all very unbalanced individuals." (Hee!) Bobby Elvis points out that Jax's plan has one flaw: Gemma's going to find out about Abel. Yeah, well, no plan is perfect. Besides, now that's Clay's on board, Jax has a human shield.
Speaking of Gemma: Neither Tig, nor Gemma, nor Tara have been able to find him. Gemma despairs, "I can't believe I just let him drive away. Jesus, how could I do that? [sigh] Stupid bitch!" Tara says, "You have her tied up in a basement, you can't expect her to be cooper --" "I'm not talking about her!" Gemma shouts. Because sometimes, that's the only way the obvious sinks into Tara's skull. Gemma throws the phonebook into the curio cabinet. Cut to Tig freaking out because oh my God, now the dolls are freed from their glass prison! They can run wild around the house! Gemma leaves.
Cut to Nate sitting on a downed tree to a small pond. He tucks the barrel of the rifle under his chin, weeping, then pushes it away.
Back at Teller Morrow, Lyla is picking up the Caddy from Piney so she can collect her and Opie's brood of children. Opie waylays her and awkwardly asks for the favor: Would Lyla round up some of her pals and provide the entertainment at a private party? He does have the brains to phrase it as a $5000 opportunity, thank goodness. Lyla's all over it and makes the pitch for her awesome old ladyness by offering to donate her $5000 fee to the club for the Project Fetch Abel fund. Opie is not thrilled, but Lyla sells it, "I know you hate it, but I've got maybe another year or two in this niche. I need to cash in while I still look like everyone's kid sister. You gotta let it go." Opie ... is not so much about the letting anything go. He feels guilty about what his involvement in the club is doing to the second lady in his life, but can only blurt out, "I just don't want you to be sad." Lyla assures him that nothing makes her happier than nuzzling his big, grizzly beard, but Opie's not quite sold. She kisses him goodbye and the club begins its catcalling. Opie heads back to his bike and then we get the comedy exchange of the episode:
JAX: [asking about Opie and Lyla] Looks like you guys are working things out, huh?
OPIE: I can never tell. Every time I try to talk to her, we end up naked.
BOBBY ELVIS: Just marry her. That'll stop it.
And now, a brief detour into Bad Idea Theatre. Tara heads down to the basement alone to check on Amelia. She's going to have to clean out the facial wound Gemma gave Amelia, and Amelia cannily uses the time to claim she can't feel her fingers and has no circulation. Tara says, "I'll cut one hand free, let the blood flow back in. Don't do anything stupid." Oh, Tara, you need to take your own advice. Did you not notice how Amelia reacted to Gemma's torture threats last time? This is a woman who's plenty bellicose.
Anyway, Tara cuts a hand free, and sure enough, Amelia furtively lifts her eyeshade, notices a canister of oxygen nearby, then uses it to render Tara unconscious. Not that anyone ever deserves a blow to the head, but you have to admit: Tara did not exactly do everything in her power to prevent it. Amelia then wheels herself over to the table where the boycotter is.
The basement door opens and Gemma begins tramping down; Amelia freezes mid-wheel. But then Tig calls: Nate just pulled up and he's in the back yard. And so Gemma heads back up the stairs. Amelia has time to free herself and figure out what to do .
Cut to a backyard that could more accurately be labeled "the botanical garden." It's just gorgeous -- huge rosebushes in different colors, trees framing the entire thing -- and makes me wonder who's been maintaining it. Gemma sits with her dad on a bench and asks, "Where'd you go? Where's the gun?" Nate got rid of it; he asks Gemma almost pleadingly, "Did I kill someone?" Gemma hastens to reassure him that he didn't, and Nate says, "I remember --" Gemma cuts him off with, "It was an accident. Tig is okay. It's perfect. Everything is fine." What is so great about this scene is how Gemma mirrors Nate's body language; it is such a huge change from the self-contained or confrontational stances she takes with almost everyone else
. Nate sighs and says, "Days like these, that I can remember everything I usually forget -- these are the worst days. I was useless to her, Gemma. I couldn't even comfort her at the end." Gemma pauses a moment before gently asking, "You know Mom's gone?" Nate looks at her -- perhaps taken aback that Gemma's even had to ask the question -- and nods. Gemma continues, even more softly, "And, um, you know we're going to have to leave this place soon? Go ... someplace where people can take care of you?" Nate knows. Days like these really are the worst. Gemma leans in and puts her head on Nate's shoulder, whispering, "I'm sorry, Daddy." They sit there, unable to comfort one another.Hey, remember how in season one, Oswald's daughter was raped by a carny, SAMCRO exercised a little biker vengeance and indebted Oswald to them for life, and then leaned on him in season two to post his property for the bail? I bet you Oswald remembers that entire chain of events now, because SAMCRO's just stopped by to break the news that they're jumping bail. Oswald takes it about as well as can be expected but, ever mindful of his mayoral run against Hale the Lesser, he asks for SAMCRO to distance themselves from him for a while. Since the boys are about to head up to Canada, that shouldn't be too hard, right?
Cameron's just been dropped where he's sure to be found. Not that Belfast doesn't look lovely from what we've seen so far and all that but man, every shot we've gotten has been really gray and dark. Either everyone we're being introduced to lives, vampire-like, between sundown and sunup, or the sun just never shines there. Is that it?
Amelia's dressed and ready to flee the basement. She grabs a knife and manages to ambush Gemma in the hall near the kitchen. Putting a knife to Gemma's throat, Amelia asks for the keys to Nate's car. Gemma stalls, and that's apparently enough time for Tara to come upstairs and knock Amelia silly with a statue to the head. Once Amelia's thrown off-balance, Gemma folds the aide's knife-bearing arm into her torso and slams Amelia into a wall. And thus, Amelia ends up stabbing herself with a little assist from Mrs. Morrow. She dies quickly. Tara freaks out kind of quickly. She gasps to Gemma, "She's dead." Gemma's somewhat shaken, but soon snaps into battle mode with a cold, "Her plan, not mine." Tara -- who is still woozy from her head wound -- is also more than a little nonplussed at what just happened.
Cut to Tig washing the knife with a lot of bleach and hot water, and he turns from the sink to wave the knife at Tara and Gemma while he scolds, "I leave you girls alone in here for ten minutes ..." (HA!) Gemma's got Tara wrapped in an afghan with a cold compress on her head, and the women concur that the club doesn't need to know about any of this. Tig tells her, "We better work fast. They're making a run for the Irish and they'll be up here tomorrow." Everyone thinks it over, and Tig gets a bright idea: "Bachman! Bachman's based out of Crescent City. He can be up here in an hour or so." Gemma asks, "The cleaner guy?" Yep. Tig says, "He's independent. He works for around two or three grand, but he is good." Tig heads off to call Bachman and distract Nate; Gemma says she and Tara will take care of Amelia. "We will?" Tara asks. Gemma looks down and snaps, "Hey, you're the one who decided her fingers needed to breathe. You don't want Jax to find out about this, we've got to handle it." Once that sinks in, Tara's up and retching over the kitchen sink. And despite her tough-love delivery, Gemma's there holding back Tara's hair and rubbing her back. Their relationship is fascinating.
Back in gloomy, nocturnal Belfast, we finally get the answer to the question that's been plaguing us since Season One: "Whatever happened to Half-Sack's girlfriend Cherry?" (Oh, let's be honest. Nobody's been asking that question.) It turns out Cherry's working as a shopgirl for Maureen. She's busy sweeping up the place as Mo's daughter Trinity comes stumbling into the shop and says, "Walking back from the depot, there were peelers everywhere. They found Cammy Hayes strangled, an Army tag on his head." Maureen doesn't react; Cherry very quietly whispers, "Shit." (I do wonder if a day goes by where she's not like, "And I thought running with a biker gang was a good idea because ...?") Maureen refuses to discuss it and tells Trinny to get upstairs and start her laundry. Loudly, and repeatedly, since Trinny's spoiling for an emotional confrontation. Just then, McGee -- one of the First Nine in SAMCRO and the president of the Belfast Charter -- and his VP O'Neill come in. McGee gives Trinny a hug and sends her on her way, then asks Maureen if she knew anything about Cammy's death. Mo lies like a pro. (John Teller had a type, didn't he?) O'Neil asks skeptically, "He was your kin. He didn't reach out to you?" Mo snaps back, "I've got 47 cousins. None of them reach out." McGee's staring at her like he doesn't believe a word she's saying. Once the men have left, Maureen locks the shop and asks Cherry to do something, mouth shut and no questions asked: Reach out to Charming and get Gemma Teller's phone number. Oh, someone is about to kneecap her priestly relative. Cherry promises to give Half-Sack a call. Oh, this will end well.
Outside Lin's restaurant, Clay's hanging out alone, sitting on one of the limos. Jax bounces over and tells him, "You're missing a sweet Asian buffet inside. All you can eat." Oooh, is there dim sum? I love those little dumplings with the shrimp and -- oh. Jax is being all sexist and referring to women as objects for consumption. Clay demurs with, "Your mom being away, it feels too much like cheating." Awww! Jax is amused, but then Clay continues, "I miss her so goddamned much." Jax concurs; he does too. Because Clay's actually demonstrated a sincere emotion, he then has to follow that up by saying, "I better get inside and get my dick sucked. I'm beginning to sound as whipped as you." Jax cordially invites Clay to blow him, and Clay hugs him with, "I love you too, son." I'm all heartwarmed by this exchange, but part of me wonders if Clay's rising to the occasion as paterfamilias now because it's a way to neutralize any opposition from Jax later.
Tara and Gemma have gotten Amelia's body down to the basement and laid out on a hospital bed. Jax calls right then, and Gemma orders Tara to talk to him. He asks, "So what was the crisis with Nate?" and Tara replies dryly, "You really want to know?" Jax, realizing he does not, drawls, "Shiiiit." Tara plows on: "Your granddad went off the rails a bit. Shot Tig, thinking he was an intruder ... he's okay, it's pretty much superficial." Good job not mentioning the late Amelia, Tara! Jax tells his old lady that he'll be up there tomorrow, so if she could just stay put, he'd appreciate it. Tara apologizes, "I'm sorry I left the way I did," and Jax replies, "It's okay. As long as everyone's safe." Tara's voice slides into a high panicky squeak as she looks over at Amelia and says, "Yeah. Everyone's fine."
Bachman's just pulled up on his bike, and when Nate asks who that is, Gemma and Tig smoothly lie about how it's someone who will be giving Amelia a ride home. Well, metaphorically speaking, that is not incorrect. Bachman pulls off his helmet and we see that -- oh, could it be? Could someone whose surname echoes that of Stephen King's nom de plume really be played by Stephen King? This has the potential to go terribly wrong: I still remember how the miniseries The Stand ground to a halt when Stephen King made his appearance. And given that a) that happened back in 1994, and b) I was a drunken undergraduate at the time, for the memory to remain indelible to this day ... shudder.
Cut to Bachman whipping out a measuring tape and checking the length of Amelia's arms, then her legs. He gropes Amelia's breasts -- cut to Gemma watching with lips pursed while Tig looks a little unsettled -- then smooths down Amelia's hair and pops her mouth open to inspect her teeth. Gemma and Tig exchange another look. Bachman scribbles a list on a small pad, then tears it off and hands it to Gemma with a flat, "This is what I need." Gemma and Tig read the list. His eyebrows fly up, but Gemma only has to suck in her breath for a moment before saying, "Most of this stuff's in the garage. I'll send Tara out for the rest." Tig, who has the look of a man who's trying to go to his doll-free happy place, stares straight ahead and whispers, "Okay." Bachman then asks, "How's the drain in that slop sink?" Gemma thinks it's fine. Good. Bachman has one last request: "I'm in the mood for some music. Eighties." Tig says with some small amount of relief, "I'll make that happen." Bachman waggles a finger and walks off, and Tig and Gemma exchange a look that can be translated roughly as, As long as he never asks to patch into the Charming chapter, it's all good, right?
Lin's party. The SAMCRO boys are indeed partaking of the sweet Asian buffet, while the Caracara girls are draped all over the Hong Kong clients. For reasons known only to God and/or the writers' room, nobody in SAMCRO has thought, "Mayhap, Opie ought not be around when his sexy American girlfriend is working the room." And so Opie is mowing down on a plate of fried wontons, drinking a lot, and feeling very, very sorry for himself. (Although I bet the poor schmucks back at Teller Morrow Motors are feeling even sorrier for themselves, seeing as they have to KEEP THE BUSINESS RUNNING while the cool kids get to go party.)
Anyway, we see Piney sitting at the bar with Clay, so either Clay got the fastest blowjob in the history of TV timelines, or he was just joking about needing to recalibrate his emotions via casual fellatio. Jax comes on over and none of the not-getting-any braintrust notices Opie getting broodier and broodier, especially as Lyla grabs some businessman by the tie and saunters back into the private room where, obviously, the businessmen are getting their home movie kink on.
Then Opie catches sight of Lyla about to go down on a businessman and completely loses his shit. Like, to the point where he's assaulting Lin's clients. Cut to Clay sighing and rolling his eyes all, God DAMN it, but as the event degenerates into SAMCRO vs. everyone, he tamps down his dismay enough to dryly tell Lin, "I hope someone's getting this all on film."
The scene: Aftermath. Clay apologizes for Opie with, "He's still adjusting to his old lady's career path." Lin speaks for all of us with, "Then why the hell was he here?" Clay deflects with a goofy shrug and "I don't know what he was thinking?" Or anyone else in the club, for that matter. It is ridiculous that, knowing as they all do that Opie is profoundly ambivalent about Lyla's occupation, anyone in the club was all, "Yes, it is a swell idea to bring the guy who can't keep his head in the game in an adult bookstore. I am sure watching his girlfriend at work will not be at all disastrous!" Lin tells Clay what Ope was thinking: "He was thinking, 'I don't want any guns or money.'" Clay is desperate for the guns; it's the only way he'll be able to keep tabs on the Mayans. So he cuts a deal: "A piece of our trade. Italians like small guns. They'll want the MP5s. I give you Cucuzzi, you cut me in for 10%." Lin agrees -- but SAMCRO only gets 5% and he will deal with the Italians directly. Clay knows he's being screwed, but he's got his guns. I look forward to seeing if he ever conveys to Opie exactly how expensive that little temper tantrum was.
Gloomy Belfast. Cherry's got the phone number -- but she's also got the latest news about Half-Sack. Oh, this is so awkward, what with Cameron being Mo's cousin and all. Maureen asks, "You gonna be okay?" Cherry sniffles, "It's part of the deal, right?" Maureen whispers, "It is." They really are writing her as the Gaelic counterpart to Gemma, aren't they?
Unfortunately, the number Cherry has is for Gemma's cell, which the lady Morrow ditched when she went on the lam. So whatever Maureen is going to tell Gemma -- I'm going to go with "I know where your grandson is" but maybe that's too simple -- it will have to wait.
Cut to Nate's living room. Tara's still holding a cold compress on her head, Gemma's staring off into the middle distance and Tig is drinking. Bachman walks in, all spidery black limbs, and everyone rises. He says flatly, "All done." Tara looks around Bachman's back and asks, "Where is she?" Bachman's head whips around and he asks, "Where's who?" Gemma whips out a wad of cash -- $1600 -- and Tig says nervously, "Take the rest in goods. Anything." Bachman takes the statue of the praying hands -- the one Tara used to brain Amelia and start this whole chain of events -- and silently stalks out. Everyone left in the room looks like they're all counting to ten before making the excuse that will allow them to leave the room and change their drawers.
And I must say: Stephen King, all from The Stand is forgiven! Perhaps the key to his small-screen success in this episode is to act like a character in one of his short stories. Not the protagonist -- the other guy, the one who's an acolyte of Pan or an evil milkman serial killer or whatever. Anyway, I loved Bachman, and I loved that we really have no idea how the cleaner worked.
Back at the SAMCRO clubhouse, Jax and Opie are sitting down for a drink, and Opie apologizes to him. Hey, Jax is not the one at whose feet you should be groveling -- try his stepdad, who just gave up a boatload of money because of your fool actions. Jax sighs, "It was a stupid idea. We shouldn't have put you through it. We'll find the money." The Caracara girls come in -- I hardly recognized them, what with them being clothed and everything -- and Opie invites them to grab a drink. Jax sighs, "You would kill to get your old lady out of her day job. All I want is for mine to go back to hers." He's not happy about Tara taking a leave. Opie says, "Maybe it's the best thing, all the shit she's been through." Jax is not so sure about this. He says, "I'm struggling with it. My old man's manuscript, he says there are only two ways an old lady makes it. Either you tell them everything or you tell them nothing. Everything else, shit falls apart." Opie broods on this. He didn't tell Donna anything, and he's still not sure if he'll tell Lyla anything.
Lyla comes over then, so Jax and Opie wrap it up; Opie's taking Lyla home. Jax and Opie hug goodnight and then Jax is left with Ima. We all remember her from last season? How she pissed off Tara so badly, Tara shot up her car? Anyway, Ima's got a sixth sense about Jax and Tara, so she asks for a ride home. Jax gives her a long, slow look before nodding. But! Before he can step out on his old lady with a living, breathing petri dish, Juice comes over with his laptop. O'Neill's just emailed him a picture of the dead Cameron in Belfast. "Cameron's in Ireland," Jax realizes. "Then where's Abel?" Juice wonders. The episode closes with Clay grimacing at this proof that Jimmy O lied to him, and with Jax grimacing as he r
ealizes the go-to-Canada plan may not be as simple as it seemed a while back.Check out a preview of the season below, discuss this episode in our forums, and check out our gallery of the show's most shocking moments!
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