Previously: The Vegas callbacks turned into an absolute bloodbath, and I don't just mean that one bloody toenail the show kept teasing to commercials with. What happened to Patty Ann the hip-hop tomboy? Hero McRaae? That hot, mostly naked guy? At least I got to see Arielle Coker dance a bit before she got mercilessly cut down well before she should've been. You've got a lot to make up to me, Nigel.
This episode is kind of a hybrid of the "Green Mile" show we're used to, where the Top 20 are announced, and the "Dance in your home style" episode we've gotten in recent years. So the yes/no proclamations are on tape from Vegas, taking us from 31 to 20, while the performances are live (er, "live") from the familiar Dance studio with judges (Nigel, Mary, Tyce, Lil C, and Robin Antin). Cat struts out onto the stage for the first time this season and it's like she never left. Also, it looks like we're back to a smaller, less cacophonous stage, which is a HUGELY underrated development.
The first group to hear yes/nos are contemporary dancers, with the leggy Ricky Jaime and the Melissa-from-season-5-ish Miranda Maleski getting YES votes, while a pair of girls we've never seen before get let down gently. Also IN is the short-haired dynamo Melanie Moore, who I still think is a front-runner despite being severely soft-pedaled in Vegas. The big decision of this group happens when sisters Sasha and Natalia Mallory are brought out together. It feels like the show has invested a LOT in Natalia as a story, even though she's not quite as capable as the other top contemporary dancers this season, so I'm impressed when Nigel says that Sasha is IN, while Natalia is out. Natalia takes it like a total champ, and there's an admirable lack of drama from the both of them. Good show, Mallory girls!
Back to the studio, where Ricky, Miranda, Melanie, and Sasha perform a Stacey Tookey contemporary routine that is about -- to the best of my knowledge -- the love affair between a dancer and dry ice. Actually, with the three women flitting about Ricky, it comes across as a little Swan Lake meets Big Love. All four dancers are perfectly in tune with the others, which gives the number a unified quality that's quite beautiful. It's hard not to look at Melanie Moore first and foremost, though.
up in Vegas are the seven "street dancers" remaining in the competition. The adorable Chris Cole, who had to dance for his life after the ballroom round, is IN, as is the very strong Wadi Jones. I don't believe we've seen this Tadd Gadduang before, but Debbie takes the time to sing some Diana Ross to him ("Reach out and touch somebody's hand..."), and he walks on his hands and in general makes me like him immediately. The adorably wee Lil' O says he's confident about making the Top 20, but he's out, as is someone named Drace Reed. With two hip-hoppers left, we're left to ponder whether the show will value the quiet power of Bryce "Professor Lock" Johnson or the animated desperation of Robert Taylor Jr. If we're just comparing catch phrases, I'll take Professor Lock's "indubitably!" over Robert constant stream of Little Richard-like "Woo!"s. But when it comes down to the decision, the judges keep Robert. I'd claim this to be BULLSHIT, but I'm all outraged out from Arielle Coker last night (seriously, Nigel, WHY??).
Chris, Wadi, Tadd, and Robert now assemble on stage for a Dave Scott (yes!) routine set to some Swizz Beatz with Eve. They're all dress in matching red canvass shoes, but only Robert has gone the extra mile to look like Pee Wee Herman. You guys, he tries SO hard. Not to say it doesn't at least partially work, because along with Tadd (who is becoming an early favorite), Robert really pops in this performance. It helps that it appears his "character" is a show-offy ham.
Not very many ballroomers this year, as I've noted previously. In Vegas, it's down to just two: my beloved, leggy Soviet assassin Iveta Derevko and Lenny Progue, or as I will call him, Pasha Jr. Lenny says he's not nervous, which, after Lil' O, is looking like the kiss of death, because Lenny gets a NO. Which takes some of the suspense out of Iveta's moment, because they're not going to leave Mary Murphy with ZERO ballroomers, are they? So, yes, Iveta is IN, and then back in L.A. she gets to perform a wicked hot paso doble with Pasha and his -- to quote my friend Quinn -- ass that launched a thousand ships. Mmm, yes. Mary is getting her yell back as she hollers about Iveta being a World Champion in ten different ballroom disciplines, and Nigel brings up the specter of Pasha/Anya to illustrate just how good Iveta could be. Fingers crosses she can pick up the other dance styles!
Jazz dancers! I don't recall seeing either Bridget Krousse nor Tae Kwon before, but they're out now, so whatever. IN are quietly smoldering Clarice Ordazz and shot-in-the-shoulder Marko Germar. It looks like the judges will have to choose between extremely un-quietly sexy Jordan Casanova (who's such an impressive dancer that I'm surprised anew every time she speaks and sounds like kind of an idiot) and this girl names Missy who is ALSO sexy. Oh my God! TWO sexy girls? Is that even POSSIBLE? The judges are like, "Fuck it, we didn't get into this business NOT to push boundaries," so they put both Jordan and Missy in. And Missy wins some loyalty from me for how hard she's trying not to cry.
Clarice, Marko, Jordan, and Missy get to perform a Sonya Tayeh jazz routine, which features, among other things, Marko jumping clear across all three girls. Hello, Marko, I love you already. I feel like I'm picking on Jordan, but while her auditions were super limber, she looks really hunchy here. Now, Sonya often choreographs the women to move in kind of rounded-shoulder motions, but Jordan is losing her neck in a way Clarice and Missy manage to avoid. The routine gives Tyce a chance to show off as he refuses to sit down at the judges table, instead just yelling crap like "Sick!" and "Amazing!" over and over, until Robin joins him and starts yelling "Sexy!" and now they're just two annoying peas in a pod. Fair and Balanced Nice Thing About Tyce: he's valiantly propping up the teeth-whitening industry, which makes him a good American.
Slim pickings mean we have to treat "Broadway/Tap" as if it's a genre unto itself, for the sake of dealing with Jess LeProto and Nick Young. You remember Jess as the hyper-Broadway guy who's kind of annoying and who Nigel gave a hard time to for not seeming like he was enjoying himself. Kind of a bullshit critique, if you ask me, because a) you can totally tell he's enjoying it because "it" involves himself, and b) his transparent work ethic is totally charming. Meanwhile, Nick is new, and he's the lone tap-dancer this season; I thought we'd given up on tap after the tap-pocalypse of Season 6, but I'm willing to give it another go, because I already love Nick Young. Oh, sorry to kill the suspense, but both Jess and Nick get IN, though Jess has to put up with more hyper-scrutiny from Nigel (expect this to continue). On stage, the guys perform a hybrid Broadway/tap number from choreographer Christopher Scott, with kind of a downtown (Nick and his shinebox)/uptown (Jess and his dinner jacket) vibe. It's kind of an awkward pairing, to be honest, I think mostly because Jess is not all that good at tap. But Nigel ends up receiving it well, because he's a sucker for tap; he even mentions that six of the girls this year have tap training, so look for one or more of them to be sucked into the abyss of Nigel's childhood obsession. Nick, by the way, gives a lot of face during critiques, which is the kind of thing that got Robert in trouble with fans last year, but fuck them, Nick is amazing.
This show being what it is, we wrap things up with another contemporary group. IN are baby-faced Caitlin Lawson, the charismatic and limber Ashley Rich, and Mitchell Kelly, who survives despite saying that he feels confident. By the way, yes, there are a ton of dancers we're meeting tonight for the first time all season, which is annoying given the amount of time we've invested in dancers who got cut down. But more than almost any reality show, Dance has proved itself able to get you intimately familiar with a dancer within three minutes. It happens all the time. So while I'm still mourning Patty Ann and Arielle and China and Princess Lockeroo and D.C., I can't say I'm not wildly excited to learn what's awesome about Mitchell or Miranda or Chris Cole.
We finally arrive at the final two spots in the season, one guy and one girl. The final two boys left are heretofore unseen Alexander Fost and the redemption-seeking Jeremiah Hughes. The judges go for Alexander, which is fine, and unsurprisingly since Alexander expressed worry while Jeremiah expressed confidence. Kiss of death! But I worry about future dancers being discouraged from following Jeremiah's example of dusting himself off after embarrassing defeat and dedicating himself to improving and also taking his shirt off as much as humanly possible. Don't think for one second that's not the path to greatness, kids.
The last two girls are Ryan Ramirez, the perpetually damp-faced girl who got cut at the last possible moment last year and has not shut up about it since, and Alexa Anderson, who looks kind of like Lucy Punch, and who, within two seconds of watching her struggle with hip-hop makes me really want to root for her. Alas, it's obvious that the judges aren't so cruel as to dangle Ryan out and then cut her at the last minute AGAIN, so unsurprisingly, Alexa is out. Congratulations, Ryan. Now follow the example of your fellow Green Mile weeper Katee Shean and get really awesome in the span of a week.
Caitlin, Ashley, Micthell, Alexander, and Ryan get to do some Travis Wall contemporary, this one based around a stage covered with fall foliage. It's another really fantastic Travis piece, one that uses the fall motif/seasons change thing to great effect. It really feels like the dancers passing from one stage of their lives to another. Ryan is the featured performer here, but, for me, Ashley and Mitchell are the standouts. Afterwards, Cat shouts adorable affirmations to Travis, including complimenting his bow-tie, which she calls a "dickie bow," which is both absolutely ridiculous and also the best thing I've ever heard.
So with the Top 20 having been announced and more than 30 minutes still to go, we get a trio of group performances, starting with the Top 10 Guys tackling a cross-genre piece by Christopher Scott, who we're reminded is part of the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. The hip-hop kids are kind of running things in rehearsals, until Christopher switches things up on them and blends in some contemporary. I love watching this, as the confidence levels suddenly invert, and soon enough, every dancer is helping all the other ones catch on. On stage, there are five standing doorways that play into the choreo, and the music and costumes are very Matrix-y. I can't do it justice in words, you totally have to look it up, because it is GREAT. In the critique, Nigel praises the boys but says they're gonna have to work. "The voters for this program don't just favor boys here ... like other shows." Oooh, American Idol BURN! And a well-deserved one too.
For the "Top 10 Gulls," Sonya Tayeh is really putting them through their paces. They're all afraid of Sonya, and rightly so. She says the concept of the routine is to make geisha girls "creepy and twisted." Done. The girls are working really hard in rehearsals, and it pays off on stage. The athleticism in this routine is really severe, with a lot of held positions at odd angles. It reminds me, at an odd angle, of my beloved Bollywood routine from season 5. Mary Murphy proves she is well and truly back by invoking the Hot Tamale Train for the first time all season. Not to be out done, Lil C busts out an acrostic of love for Sonya ("S=synergy; O=obstacles; N=never; Y=yes; A=abstract"), and says the girls really embodied Sonya's qualities onstage. This show is the most ridiculous, wonderful thing sometimes.
Finally, the Top 20 close the show with a group routine by Tyce Diorio. Which is pretty much sacrilege, since I am of the firm belief that only Wade Robson should choreograph Top 20 routines. That said, Tyce, I'm going to do the rare thing and lead with praise by saying "Little Bird" is a pretty rad choice for a song. Which then gives me some leeway to say that the choreography is pretty literal and afflicted with Tyce's usual "lots of moves, not a ton of vision" bugaboo. But at the end of the day, it's twenty amazing dancers getting their Black Swan on to a great Annie Lennox song. I can't exactly complain.
week: this mother gets started for real!
Joe R will probably stop bringing up Arielle Coker, though he has no earthly idea when. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.