Hello! Thanks to Lauren S. for filling in last week while both Joe R. and I were too busy to recap the premiere. Now I feel bad for the show. I'm sorry, show! I'll make it up to you tonight, I promise. You know you're the only one for me. Well, you and Hell's Kitchen, I guess.
We kick things off in Los Angeles, which is full of talented dancers. That's not really news, is it? Los Angeles is where show business lives! Also, I believe, the porn industry. I'll have to check my facts on that. Anyway, we're at the Orpheum. People are in line and flipping around. Cat is making friends, which I assume she does wherever she goes.
So thousands of people storm into the theater and are magically transformed into the 50-100 people who passed the first round of auditions in front of producers and actually get to dance in front of the judges. We have Nigel Lythgoe, Adam Shankman, and Renowned Hip Hop Choreographer Hi Hat. She's worked with Kanye West and Lady Gaga, which means that she probably has some awesome stories about working with crazy people.
We kick things off with a cheerleader named Lauren Froderman. She tells us that her solo will be sexy, but kid-appropriate. I feel I should point out that she's wearing a sports bra, tiny shorts, and not much else. Her dance is twisty and leggy, but her broad smile is weird as hell. I kind of like the dance, but her habit of staring directly out at the audience with a huge grin is peculiar. I guess it's too cheerleadery? Anyway, Nigel liked an arabesque and also the fact that she's a sexy blonde. Hi Hat objects to the personality a little, but Adam liked her connection with the audience, and the fact that she took "Let's Get It On" and did it in her blonde-cheerleader way and it still worked. She is sent to Vegas, which pleases both her and her mother. Oh, and she's been dancing for fifteen years, which means she started at three.
, a dude dressed up like an idiot. His name is "Hella Hung" and I hate him. He gets some wacky kung fu movie film treatment and music that might actually be from Enter the Dragon. Here's all you need to know about him: he pulls Cat's hand into his crotch. Yeah. So he comes out and does some half-ass breaking. I've always said, you have to break with your entire ass. Or what's the point? We see way too much of his routine. Nigel makes the same joke he made last night about a terrible dancer using Adam Shankman's choreography. Finally, Hella Hung is sent home. More like Hella Annoying, am I right? (For those of you scoring at home, the answer is yes. I am right.)
up, a rhythmic gymnast named Rachel. She broke her foot so she can't be a rhythmic gymnast anymore, so she decided two weeks ago to be a dancer. Sounds arrogant, but honestly, we've seen some very gymnastic dancers, you know? Her routine starts in the corner of the stage (that's her gymnastic training) and involves a lot of really neat, unusual moves that I've never seen before. I like where this is going. The cool moment was a "planchéd attitude turn," in which she made three full turns. She refers to this as "only doing three." Adam, logically enough, wonders if this neat dancing will translate into other styles of choreography. So she's sent to Vegas! She almost leaves without hugging Adam, which is starting to make him question his desirability.
Then there's a parade of good dancers we can't watch because we spent all that time on Hella Hung. Nice job.
Cat reports that it is mid-afternoon. It's time for Cristina Taylor and Pepe, which sounds like a vaudeville act. Last year, Cristina went straight to Vegas (as we're reminded with a clip of Mary Murphy screaming at her) where she whacked Billy Bell in the nose with her elbow. Remember that? Anyway, Cristina missed out on Top Twenty. Their salsa is all Latin and spinny. The judges appear to like Cristina a lot more than Pepe. I think it's because Pepe is just there to put all the focus on his partner. Which is fine, but I don't know if it's a great audition strategy. Adam praises Cristina for understanding her body. He and Hi Hat both think Pepe faded into the background. Nigel thinks Pepe is "street salsa" while Cristina is more adaptable. Pepe gets choreography and Cristina goes to Vegas. That seems about right.
Last contestant of the day! Taylor Costello was adopted and her birth mother died before Taylor got to meet her. It's all terrible tragic, right? Just wait. So Taylor's adoptive mother is her best friend. Make a note of that. Her dance is very gymnastic, starting with a tumbling run and everything. It's full of energy, all right. Nigel asks what drives Taylor, and she explains that her birth mother was murdered by an unknown assailant. Well. That takes this show in an unexpected direction. Anyway, Taylor got to read something that her birth mother wrote, and it said that she loved to dance. I'm going to declare her the winner of the Tragic Story Stakes for this episode. She gets sent to choreography.
The choreography this time is done by Courtney Galliano from season 4 and Jason Glover from season 5. There are 23 people in it, except that Pepe ducks out. It's to "Bad Romance" again. Taylor looked fine to me for the two or three seconds we saw, but Nigel tells her she wasn't strong enough. Some other people go through. Good for them.
Hollywood, day two! More flipping around in line. One dancer's shoe flies off and never comes down. We start with season six dancer Alexie, who I think I occasionally confused with Ellenore in the Vegas rounds. She's very good, although I'm mostly distracted by this version of "Summertime". I think it's Macy Gray. Nigel tells Alexie that her performance has dipped a lot since year "...and that is how to tell lies." What a terrible line. I mean, that's Michael Scott level right there. What the hell, man. She's sent to Vegas.
More dancing! Adam tells one "Your feet are out of control, they're so beautiful." Not sure what that means. Nigel continues to screw with people instead of just telling them they're going to Vegas. I continue to wonder what happened to the "Las" that used to be in there. I feel like we hear "Vegas, baby" more than "Las Vegas".
It's time for another tap dancer! Meet Melinda Sullivan. The background music is from Grindhouse, I think. That's weird. She's a fan of Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis, Jr., which is probably compulsory. She's got a nice, loose-limbed style, although I'm not sure everyone's going to be into the way she occasionally pauses. I mean, she's doing it on purpose for rhythmic effect, but it still looks a little like just standing still for a couple of beats. The dancers in the crowd love it. Adam calls her interesting and beautiful. He liked her tapping to a ballad, but he objected to some of her "wandering transitions," which might be that pausing I was talking about. Nigel thought it was rude of her to impose her own rhythms over the top of Stevie Wonder, and she's going to choreography even though she just claimed to be trained in a bunch of styles.
Let's see here. Some guys dance poorly, weirdly, and weirdly poorly. For some reason, it's scored to "You're the Best Around." Last dancer! Ryan Ramirez is, despite her name, a girl. She claims to have been a shy kid, but she's clearly one of those smiling, blonde dancers we get so much of on this show. She and her mother lost their house and she almost had to stop taking lessons. Then MIA MICHAELS, LIKE AN ANGEL OF HOPE found her and hired her as an assistant. Remember the Kherington/Twitch (fine, "Twitchington," just this once) bed dance from season four? Ryan was the assistant who helped teach the dance. So Ryan views Mia as her dance savior. Her dance, logically enough, is one of those contemporary numbers with a lot of dramatic poses and swift, jerky movements. I don't know. Adam tells her she's a great dancer but didn't really connect with the audience. Hi Hat praises her technical ability but warns her about her connection. Nigel says that the best dancers don't win; the best performers do. You know who he's talking about. Ryan goes to choreography, which I'm sure she'll do fine at.
Bad Romance blares out. Melinda the tapper goes through to Las Vegas, as does Ryan. And some people with whose names I am not familiar. We learn that Cat wears a coat at this phase of the festivities in case she needs protection from the sweat covering all the people who want to hug her.
We are now in Chicago, which a number of people would like us to believe is an exceedingly tough city. They will all be bringing it and not backing down. There's this one unbelievably cool shot of people dancing on the waterfront and there's a guy doing a backflip in the foreground while people spin and do handstands in the background. It only lasts about two seconds, but I freezeframed on it because it looks so neat. It's at 1:06 if you want to check it out on your Tivo.
The same thing happens as usual with the line, and the third chair this time out will be occupied by Stacey Tookey. I like that they're bringing in people who haven't been the standard judges. No offense, Li'l C, but it's time for new blood.
The big angle for the dancer (Kent) is that he's from Wapakoneta, OH which is a small town. He's going to college in New York year. He has very pleasing leaps and spins. And a tumbling run. Sure, but can he do the move where he reaches out in front of him longingly before he pulls it in to his stomach? There's some talk about how hard it is to pronounce "Wapokoneta," and Kent is the subject of light-hearted mockery for thinking that Columbus is a big city. Hey, he's in Chicago right now. That doesn't count as traveling to a big city? Everyone likes him a lot, although Adam wants a little more connection to the music. Choreography. By the way, the judges are always unanimous now. Just thought I'd mention it.
The dancer, Andrew Phillips, has brought along his twin brother, who is in a wheelchair due to spina bifida. What am I supposed to say about this? It's all terribly sad. During Andrew's dance, I notice that the Palace Theater has left some cleaning supplies on the stage. I guess that's probably on purpose? Maybe to make it feel like an audition? Oh, and the song is "You're the Reason I Come Home" and is punctuated with reaction shots of Andrew's brother. I don't have much to say about the dance itself. Andrew covers the spina bifida again and Nigel tells him he must dance every day of his life. Adam says that he has been inspired. Nigel feels that there's more to Andrew to learn. Andrew gets sent to choreography, although the judges think he might not go through this year.
It's time for people to experiment with things like "head hops" (bouncing around on your head with no hands) and "comtep-tang" (contemporary, but with tango). Oh, wait! No, it's time for a joke audition. A woman with frizzy hair and a leather vest has something called "hick-hop", which combines breakdancing and line dancing. She is, of course, terrible. At times like this, the only question is whether she's deluded or doing it on purpose? But I don't care. !
There are also some other people who can't dance. Sorry, guys. I'm sure some of you aren't delusional loons.
The last competitor has a long, muscular neck. It's kind of freaking me out. It's Adrian Lee, and it's another of these contemporary routines where I'm reliant on the judges to tell me if it's being done well. Stacey says it was the best contemporary routine of the day. Thanks, Stacey! So he's good, then. She kept thinking "Oh, what could I create on this one?" That's a little weird. Adam likes that he never heard Adrian come down from his jumps, which is something he praised someone for last week. And he also watches for people falling out their pirouettes. Nigel wants Adrian to "move on" and there is an excruciatingly long pause while none of them can figure out a dopey way to transition into "You're going to Vegas!" and they finally just hand him the ticket.
Choreography! Adam tells Kent he has a lot to learn ... in Vegas. That one actually worked. Andrew is going through even though they weren't sure he was good enough. "And three more happy dancers will be joining him" says Cat.
Okay, we're down to day two of Chicago. Line, flips, Cat, you know the deal.
We kick things off with Kellen Borchers, who combs his hair straight down his forehead. It's a little Dwight Schrute-y if you ask me. And I like Dwight, but I don't think he can dance. Kellen has no real idea what he's doing out there. He doesn't have a wacky gimmick; he's just kind of flailing around. The judges are laughing delightedly and applauding and I have no idea why. Nigel asks who he thinks he dances like. He goes with "a Brian or something." Nigel and Stacey try to let him down gently and he eventually goes away. That was a productive use of airtime.
Oh, wait. He gets a "dancing down the street" scene. Okay, now he's done.
Christopher Gilbert comes out on stage with a cane and does a popping thing I enjoy a lot. I'm not sure about his garish sweater, but he's pretty awesome. Adam loved it and praises the way he physicalized the music. Stacey calls him "thoroughly entertaining". Nigel tries to find out if the glasses are legitimate or an affectation (he doesn't want a clone of Twitch, I think) and sends him to choreography.
A number of dancers are good enough for choreography, but not Las Vegas. I love this one guy who's standing on his head without using his hands and falls over on his side. It's on purpose and it looks neat. I'm not sure it's dancing, though.
Jarrod Mayo brought his mother. That's it? No dog with cancer or anything? He has a style that involves a lot of sudden kicks behind him. I'm not in love with the dance he's doing, but he's clearly got a lot of technique and knows what he's doing. His facial expressions are terrific. Okay, I think I'm being won over as the dance goes on. Yeah, I'm on Jarrod's side now. Nigel mildly objects to Jarrod's shoulders but calls him amazing anyway. Jarrod's mother gets dragged out on stage for some reason. Eventually, Jarrod gets sent to Vegas. Hooray!
Our dancer is deaf. We get both subtitles and someone translating the sign language. The person doing the translating is female, which doesn't match up with Jarrell, who's a dude. And he can dance! He's got a strong sense of rhythm, presumably because he's working off the sound of the bass in the music. He's got a lot of facial expressions happening, and his dance has a story going on and everything. His sign translator hides in the front row in front of the judges and they don't bother pretending they don't know his story. Stacey says he's great, but the vocabulary of his steps isn't broad enough. Adam loved that he interpreted the song. Nigel asks how he feels the music, and sure enough, it's the bass. Nigel points out that more dancers need to do that. So they let him down gently and he really was pretty good. And he seems to be in a pretty good mood. His interpreter is smiling too.
Choreography! Christopher does not make it, but he is determined to come back year. Some other people do make it. They are happy. They scream a bit.
That's it. Tomorrow, Joe R. is taking us to Dallas. And we're already going to Vegas!
Monty's daily blog is Mysterious Exhortations. You can email Monty at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
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