Well, the stage is getting awfully depopulated. We're down to just the Top 6 dancers, and we're just one week away from the finale. Man, this show is the opposite of The Bachelorette, in that I hate when this show ends, as opposed to The Bachelorette, for which I literally have a happy face on the calendar for the day after a Bachelorette finale.
Anyway, Lil' C is sitting in at the judges' table, so get set for his pseudo-poetic/intellectual ramblings. Lil' C's like that cool guy you knew in high school or university, the guy who you thought was deep but what he said didn't actually make any sense. That said, I'll take Lil' C's meanderings over Mary Murphy's usual contribution, i.e., "YOU'RE ON THE TRAIN! WOO-WOO! AAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Cat asks if he'd like to "pontificate on the preferences of the population." Now she's just asking for it. Lil' C says he thinks the decisions have been appropriate for what the audience prefers. Well, since it's a vote, that makes sense. Mary says she was sorry to see Janette go, and urges viewers to think about a dancer's whole time on the show, going all the way back to the audition. Which I think means she's frustrated that the decision's out of her hands now. Nigel says some of the same stuff, and advises the dancers to let their personalities through, because he doesn't see the same standout dancer in seasons past (although this is still the best Top 20 ever, right?).
Then we watch some rehearsals of the group dance with Sonya. As always, I'm grateful she was able to get out of her shift at Thunderdome to be here.
She's working with the men, and she says they've really progressed this season. "This piece is really Willy Wonka-esque," Sonya tells them. Evan says he's "feelin'" the dark and abstract moves, and Ade walks us through a mechanical walking part that looks really cool even just in rehearsal. There is some dancing. Sonya thinks the piece will be unstoppable if they just "embrace their power."
And then, they dance, to the annoyingly named "She Wants Revenge", in purple and black checkered pants with swatchs of yellow, sleeveless black shirts with yellow bowties and silver Phantom of the Opera half-masks painted on. The mechanical walking is indeed fun to watch, as are the leaps and backward somersaults. There is some interlocking poses, and Evan being lifted and also leaping onto the back of Brandon and Ade. Synchronized backflips. I really enjoyed it.
Cat congratulates the men, and points out Brandon's mother in the crowd, for the first time, and Brandon regrettably calls her "mommy."
Lil' C says it's been a "low-key fantasy" of his to get Brandon and Ade in the same routine. He loved the routine, praises Brandon's dedication. Ade's still "provin' it" for him, and he commends Evan for not getting swallowed by the "dominant excellence" of Brandon and Ade. Mary: "I JUST LOVED IT! YES I DID!" Nigel agrees with the other judges, but says Evan stood out because he hasn't attempted stuff like this, and thinks working with the three men must have been inspirational for Sonya, and thinks there's been a standard achieved that he doesn't think they could have performed in years.
Jeanine picked Ade's name out of the hate, and she says she was excited to work with him, and Ade says nice things about her too. They're doing a samba with Louis van Amstel. Ade says he knows that you "shake your hips really fast." Jeanine calls the routine "suggestive, but still classy." Ade says it "pushes the envelope."
And who better to soundtrack the samba than Lady Gaga? How about anyone? I think if you're going for "hot" as Louis Amstel is, then why choose music that gets played in crappy dance clubs for drunk people hoping to hook up? It's that beyond-ridiculous "disco stick" song, and the "stick" has to be censored. They should have just censored the whole song and played something good. As for the dance, Jeanine's already got the dark look down, although she's a little more sparkly than sultry. The twists and turns are really fast and there's lots of tight embracing, spins, leading each other around the floor. Some of the moves (coupled with the music) push it a little bit into disco territory. Ade lifts Jeanine, who faces outward and wraps her legs around his torso behind her, and then leans forward and then back up again, and nice move that we already saw in rehearsal. They need to stop doing that! It's like when a trailer gives away too much of a movie!
Mary says the first fifteen seconds of it was incredible, but then started to fall apart. She says Ade was hopping around the floor, and the samba is supposed to roll. Mary says to make it to the round, they have to be "hot!" She has to yell even when she doesn't like something now! Lil' C starts by talking about how hot Jeanine looks, and then talks about smashing two universes to get an "explosion of excellence" and this fell short for him. He wanted them to get down, not "frolic." Nigel says Jeanine looked great and really "went for it," and wonders if it's easier for the guy because of how she looks, and then makes sure everyone knows this isn't a criticism of the routine, because we can't have that. Nigel advises Ade that he has to change his style a little bit when he's in different routines.
Kayla comes out for her solo routine of writhing and reaching and self-hugging and pirouetting, and it looks like the show's gotten rid of the countdown to silence the dingbats who love counting along with things out loud. I like that, but at least the dingbats let the dancers know it's time to get ready to wrap it up.
Melissa draws Evan's name out of the hat, and she says she's excited to work with him. Like the dancers are going to say anything else. Evan praises the work that Melissa has done, and says she's a great partner who complements whoever she's working with.
They're doing a Broadway number with Tyce Diorio. It's called "Get Me To The Church On Time," and Evan explains that he's a groom who's slept in and needs to ... well, it's right there in the title. Evan laments the fact that he's dancing with another married woman, and in this case he's actually marrying the married woman.
I guess it would difficult to dance in a full wedding dress, but Melissa looks like she's getting married at the Playboy mansion. Evan's in his boxer shorts and the alarm clock goes off and he and Melissa are spinning around the stage and doing the cheesy running in place thing, and it's a whole lot of leaps, and then a nervous walk down the aisle, with Evan taking time out for one last leap, and then they sit on the stage and someone throws confetti at them.
Lil' C says he was excited to see this, because he thought Evan would just dominate and "take the helm" but he just didn't. He says they danced it really well but they could have aimed for excellence. An explosion of excellence? Or just dominant excellence? He calls it an A but they should be going for A-pluses. Mary says this could be "get me to the finale on time," and she thought Evan was great, and she really thought Melissa came to life this time -- yes she did -- and was phenomenal. Nigel says he thinks Melissa has been inspirational for other dancers because they're seeing a lot of ballerinas audition for Season 6, but he praises the way she's adapted to the different dances that she's had to do. He thinks Evan brought a lot of personality to the dance and did a great job.
Ade's up for his solo, and he almost gets tangled up in his unbuttoned shirt. He makes me dizzy with his pirouettes and can bend his body like Gumby.
After the commercial break, Cat says, "Let's find who Kayla is going to be partnered with this week." I'm no psychic, but I'm guessing it's Brandon. Kayla says nice things about Brandon's partnering skills. Brandon's excited because Kayla's been on the hot tamale train the whole time. Like that is an actual thing.
They're dancing a contemporary piece by Stacey Tookey, about the mistress of a married man, and she doesn't have the strength to leave him. Stacey calls it a really difficult routine, and Kayla seems to agree. She says it has to be really intense or else you're not really working for anything.
They're dancing to "All I Want" by the Ahn Trio, and Kayla sits on the edge of the stage in a short red dress, while Brandon approaches from the opposite side, taking off his tie (and Kayla soon rips the shirt off. Well, no wonder she doesn't have the strength to leave him!). It's a very melodramatic piece, with a lot of synchronization, pirouettes, an impossibly high scissor kick. He lifts her and holds her while she points her legs, together, towards the ceiling. The dance ends with Brandon in Kayla's starting spot.
Lil' C calls it intense and beyond amazing. He says Kayla's partners have always been at a disadvantage because she's such a beast (dance-wise), and this is the first time she's been evenly matched. Mary spends twenty minutes reassuring Brandon that he's on the hot tamale train, and then eventually thank God it's time for Nigel to talk who lists off all the crazy shit that's happened to women in routines, like addiction, alien impregnation, etc. And then he says they were brilliant.Melissa comes out to dance some ballet to Nina Simone and it seems like she only got fifteen seconds because it goes by so fast. She's really graceful, and I enjoy watching her, because she's an inspiration to geriatrics everywhere. I mean, she took lessons when Truman was in the White House.
Hey, what boring question can we ask the dancers this week? How about, "What would it mean to make the finale?" Here's a hint: the answer is "awesome!"
God, is there a worse nickname out there than "Nappy Tabs"? Anyway, Jeanine and Ade are doing a hip-hop routine with Taboleon, that is about a couple being evicted from their apartment, so they respond by dancing around and kicking boxes. I suspect that rage may be a contributing factor in the eviction, actually.
So the dance begins with Ade and Jeanine swaggering around off-stage, and then there are all these boxes piled up on stage and someone has taped a sign that says "EVICTION NOTICE" on it, and I actually think it's nice that the landlord apparently packed for them. So they spin boxes around, and kick them, and do some patented Taboleon vanilla hip-hop, and Ade gets down on the ground and opens and closes his legs while Jeanine does a hopscotch routine over them. Then they step in the boxes and move around, and then put the boxes on their heads. They're not taking this eviction seriously at all!
Lil' C says he wishes moving was always that fun, because he'd relocate every day. He says they danced it better than he thought they would, and he praises Ade's dirty groove, and pulled Jeanine down into the depths of the dirt with him (which is good). He calls it "bucc."
Mary for some reason starts talking about the samba, because she forgot to tell Jeanine how well she danced through the whole thing because she was too focused on talking about technique. Which I have to say is usually not the case; she's usually too focused on a) screeching, b) waiting to trot out some cheesy line, or c) trying to pretend that she disliked something before screaming that she loved it. And then she screams about how much she liked it, and thinks everyone can relate to getting an eviction notice, like maybe Mary didn't pay the rent because she spent too much on Botox.
Nigel says this could have easily been a routine that could have been applauded, because it was such a good idea, as opposed to the dancers themselves. But "you got DOWN!" He says they did a great job and asks Jeanine if she thought at all about getting evicted, and both he and Mary talked about how easy it is to relate to this, because yeah, if I ever get evicted, the first thing I'm going to do is DANCE AROUND AND PUT DIRTY BOXES ON MY HEAD. He talks about Jeanine's ability to do different styles, and says Ade "finally went there" for him.
Brandon's solo routine is . It's that melodramatic movie and/or beer commercial music! He does all the usual Brandon stuff. What can I say? He's really good. He does this scuttle thing across the floor that was something different. Like a four-legged spider. It was so good that Nigel can't resist putting in a plug for his favorite and calls it one of the best solos they've ever had on the show, even though none of the other dancers got comments after their routines.
Melissa's proud of herself for being the oldest person ever on this show, and hopes to make the finale, and Evan talks about how it's in their grasp.
They're doing the "dreaded quickstep" with Louis Van Amstel. Evan says Louis was tough on him today. Melissa admits to not completely trusting Evan as a partner. Louis was concerned about the height disparity (Evan being much taller), and that means Melissa is going to have to lean backwards a lot during the routine.
So new-swing sounds of the Brian Setzer Orchestra lead Evan and Melissa onto the stage, he's in a suit and she's in a formal dress. They waltz around the stage ... well, "waltz" is pretty much not it. They quickstep around the stage. They face each other and do some tap-dancy stuff and some Lindy hop, and Evan swings Melissa around the stage, a couple of inches off the floor, holding onto an arm and a leg. I thought they did a pretty good job.
Lil' C commends Evan for dancing bigger than he's ever danced on the show. And then comes the "tough love": he says Nigel told him, when he did a jive, that his protractions need to be swifter and more powerful, and he didn't quite take heed to that, but other than that, it was a good job. Then Lil' C says "fabulous" three times.
Mary says it started great but then seemed to flag as the routine when on, although she acknowledges the quick step is one of the toughest routines to do. She praises the lift at the end, but points out it wasn't quickstep.
Nigel gives Melissa a little grief for talking so much about being 29, like she's the Cloris Leachman of Dancing With the Stars, and if anything, it was the show that made a big deal about it, so you can't blame Melissa for carrying that on. Nigel says it wasn't one of the best routines of the night, so it will be interesting to see how the vote goes, because they're two of the favorites.
Jeanine dances a sexy solo to some Janet Jackson, throwing her head around, saucy hands on hips. But she's not being pushed hard by the judges to be the champ (like Brandon) so nobody makes any comments. And right away Evan launches into a fantastic flip to lead off his solo routine to Sammy Davis Jr., and maintains a high-level of energy throughout his Broadway routine.
Brandon says being in the top four would prove to himself that he's a good dancer, because he says he's not as confident as he seems to be. Interesting. Kayla says it would be "everything" to her to make the final four.
They're doing a Doriana Sanchez disco routine, and Doriano makes Brandon do some pushups when she finds out he didn't warm up with some. Doriana says it's going to be a fun, challenging routine.
A series of flips and then the splits for Brandon, getting things off to a flying start immediately. Brandon and Kayla shimmy and shake, and then he spanks her, and then he lifts her up on his shoulders, and then lifts her up she's doing the splits while her head is pointed down behind him. They each do a death drop. More lifts and twirls! And then she helps him into a backflip. They're out of breath when they finish.
Lil' C says being out of one's comfort zone represents unfamiliarity and darkness, and then he says you have to befriend the characteristics of your challenge. And you should see with your ears! And get between your pocket instruments, or ... anyway, it'd been a rather straightforward night for him, so that's all right. And he saw no darkness in them! He praises Kayla's groove and says they were great.
And then it is a full five minutes of Mary screaming at the dancers, and a lot of it has to do with how Brandon shouldn't have any self-esteem problems. And then you think, "Wow, is that Catherine Zeta-Jones? When did she start getting older? And shouldn't she put on a bra?" Only it's just Doriana applauding.
Nigel sniffily says it's easy to get an audience hyped up by yelling and says he's going to critique this professionally, whereupon he gets up and starts yelling like a maniac. When he eventually calms down, he praises the show itself, as he is wont to do, amazed at the diversity in seeing a great contemporary routine and then a great disco routine. I always love when he does his "Where else on TV can you see this?" bit, because I always think, "I know what he means, because the hockey game I watched the other night had very little dancing in it."
And now we're watching the women rehearse with Sonya for a contemporary routine. She says it's about superheroes, which she wishes actually exist. Kayla is Storm, Jeanine is Wonder Woman, and Melissa is Buttercup. We get annoying old Batman television show sound effect graphics, like ZZZWAP, only instead of committing to the bit and making them look old-school, they were just done in the SYTYCD font, which kind of ruined it a bit. Also, I thought Sonya was making a joke with that Buttercup name, and it turns out that's a Powerpuff Girl.
Melissa talks about how the movement needs to be together or it's not going to look good, and Jeanine says there were a few times they were out of sync, resulting in Kayla getting a fist in the face (ZONK!!! explains the graphic). Anyway, the dance is about showing off how strong and yet beautiful these women are. Yawn.
They're all in costumes, naturally, bustiers and short shorts with capes that they ditch early on. I don't get "superheroes" from this piece, even with all the fist throwing. It's more like a cheerleading routine in knee-high boots and strobe lights. There are some similarities to the guys' piece actually. They finish in a crime-fighting pose, but even that was more Charlie's Angels than X-Men.
Still, Cat wants to join their group, and points out that she has a bracelet and everything.
Lil' C praises Sonya for being in charge of the physical education curriculum at Super Hero High School. Then he takes a long time to say, essentially, that they weren't in unison enough and were a little too courteous too each other, instead of treating the stage like a bowl and eating it. He thought they danced it "amazingly" but he needs more than that.
And I hate to agree with Mary, but she gives Lil' C the gears for saying that "amazing" isn't good enough. Then she talks about how they have all the qualities of superheroes: strength, versatility, flexibility, sexiness. Everything except the super powers! She thinks Kayla stood out a little bit more, and then she says it was too bad they didn't have the routine together in time for Comic Con in San Francisco last week.
Nigel gets all horndog about how the women look, especially Jeanine. He loved it, and he also indulges in some more show-praise by talking about how great it is that they started with a trio tonight and ended with a trio.
So who's going to be Top 4? I'm predicting Kayla, Melissa, Brandon and Evan.