Cat gives us the heads-up that, this week, the couples will be doing two dances instead of one. Credits, then requisite dance-troduction to those 12 scamps we've come to know and love: Randi, Evan, Kayla, Ade, Janette, Jason, Melissa, Brandon, Jeanine, Phillip, Caitlin and Kupono. Brandon wins this week's battle over who can do the most in eight counts. Jeanine and Caitlin tie for who can do the least. They accost Cat before leaving the stage to get into their costumes. Cat reminds everyone of the two dances and that the loss of two more dancers tomorrow night will result in a Top 10. She introduces the judges, and it's away we go!
Melissa and Ade will do a disco by Doriana Sanchez. It is an unfamiliar style for both of them, but Melissa seems the more nervous of the two. They predict it could breath-taking or a bloodbath. Doriana says they should "Pray to the disco gods." They swagger out to "Move on Up" by Destination. And from count one, Melissa is a funky white girl and Ade is suited up like a human disco ball. Ain't nothin' natural about that fabric, and it's disco-tastic! They are shaking it like the rent is due tomorrow. And killing it. They dance like they've never heard of exhaustion and do pretty much every show-stopping lift in the book and nail it. And then, at literally the last second, she falls! Oh no! But it doesn't even matter because that was awesome. And she gets up with the sass in the ass, all "What? Did you not just see everything I did before that?" Talk about a way to start the show!
Nigel agrees with me. He says that was appropriately exciting for disco and compliments Ade's lifts. He laughs that the American Ballet Theatre is in town soon doing Romeo and Juliet, which Melissa and Ade did on the show last week. He laughs that they might take some tips from the couple and do disco during the intermission. He says they were both fantastic and tremendous, adding that, if Melissa had to fall on her ass, she picked the best time to do it -- at the end of the routine. He congratulates them for being a strong couple and showing it once again. Moving on to the shrieker... er... I mean Mary. She echoes Doriana telling them to "Pray to the disco gods" and asks Tyce for an "Amen!" He gladly obliges. Screeching. She says everyone needed a disco pick-me-up today and says they provided it. She compliments Ade for finally letting go. His profusely dripping sweat is all, "I heard that!" She says Melissa let it rip tonight, too. Another screech-Amen. Tyce sums the routine up best: "That was friggin' great." He notes how Melissa, the ballet dancer, has shown growth and Ade embodied disco. More screeching. OMG, save me! Do they have Murphy corks?
Kupono and Kayla's first dance is a contemporary piece by Mia Michaels. Mia tells us that the song is about addiction and informs Kupono that he is the addiction. This hits particularly close to home for him because he has dealt with others' addictions in his own life. He says addiction almost destroyed his family, so it sucks to inhabit that character. By the end of the interview, he's crying. And as "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles starts playing and Kupono does this snaky, smirking move, I'm about to be, too. The dance is absolutely stunning. Kupono slides his mouth along Kayla's leg with rawness, sensuality, revolting control. It is ineffably beautiful. And what do you expect? Such is the cracked-out wonder that brought us an Emmy-winning bench, the flinging of Lacey and countless other amazements. And there are dazzling leaps and all that, but they are more a bursting-through of the music and the lyrics than a showcase for the dancers' technical abilities. Punctuating them, though, is the stillness, the non-dramatics moments that are beyond dance. And that smirk. Haunting. I just became a Kupono fan.
The crowd goes wild. The camera pans over to Mia, who is definitely a proud mama right now. Nigel first and foremost gives credit to Mia's powerful choreography. He quibbles slightly that Kayla's hair gets in the way sometimes, but it's a tree in the woods as far as I'm concerned. Otherwise, though, he was captivated by the two of them, from technique to performance. They were brilliant. Mary marvels at his intensity and his ability to maintain character. She calls Kayla flawless and allows them to stay on the Hot Tamale Train another week. Tyce reflects on how good dancers are essentially good actors and how a good dance is more than choreography -- it's an experience. He says he had that magical experience just now. He wishes Kupono's body were a bit stronger but otherwise praises the dancers. Cat predicts that this routine will be one to remember from this season. I predict an Emmy nomination.
up, Caitlin and Jason tackle an American-style Foxtrot choreographed by Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin's. They both struggle with the posture but vow to do better than "good" this week. The music is "Minnie the Moocher" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. They're really selling it, especially Jason. The lifts are there, if a bit labored at times, but overall it's just a big meh. Grant you, I may have missed a little while I was collecting myself after "Gravity."
Nigel compares Caitlin to Grace Kelly, saying she made the moves look simple and gentle. He compliments Jason's footwork and says they've both improved since rehearsal. Mary thinks it was tremendous and agrees with Nigel that it suited them. She semi-screeches for their elegance. An ironic juxtaposition, if you ask me. Cat jokes that Mary is stealing Tyce's snaps, so he outsnaps the shit out of her. Take that, Murphy! Tyce says they both looked like stars, though he does think they didn't glide enough. He urges Caitlin to push herself a bit. Commercials.
After the break, Cat pimps the Top 10 and the upcoming tour before introducing Jeanine and Phillip, who will learn Russian folk dancing from Youri Nelzine and Lilia Babenko. They acknowledge that they're up to a major challenge, because it's such an unfamiliar style. They will dance to "Kalinka" Barynya. It starts off quickly, with lots of exciting turns that could set an amazing pace... and then there's about 60 seconds of dawdling around. They wrap up with some spectacular elements (Phillip doing the sitting leg kicks like a champ and throwing in some break dancing moves, Jeanine twirling in beyond-grande plié,) that probably took up 90% of their rehearsal time. Honestly, I don't know whether to blame the music or them. Often you can tell when the dancers could have done a lot more but just didn't quite get it -- and I'm sure that's a major factor here -- but I'm not sure how much more excitement they could have put into some of the music itself. Long story short, they tried really hard and fell short. And they know. And you can see it on their faces.
Nigel claps a bit but has a disappointment face. He wonders whether they asked them to do enough, nay, whether they should have ever put this particular dance on the program at all. Well, Nigel, not everyone can be Joshua, can they? Indeed, Nigel compares it to Joshua and Twitch's ridiculosity from last season and says this rendition was a little "folk-y" (read: amateur) and that he needed some vodka to get through it. He compliments Phillip's legwork (a.k.a. his break dancing non sequitur) and says Jeanine was beautiful, but mentions that this dance was less about them than the dance style itself. Mary starts with the positive: Jeanine was in character from beat one and Phillip can does those sitting kick thingies like a motherfucker. However, as a whole, it didn't reach the level of difficulty the show demands. Nigel reassures them they have another routine to make up this deficit. Tyce takes a more positive tack, saying they -- especially Philip -- did damn well considering they worked on the dance for such a short time. Cat reiterates Nigel's plea for voters not to make up their minds yet. I love how the whole Fuller/Lythgoe franchise has totally given up on pretending it has no agenda. See: Adam Lambert.
Evan and Randi follow that up with hip-hop, and I'm not holding my breath on this one. Let's hope they prove me wrong. Happily, Tabitha and Napoleon are choreographing the piece. Tabby tells them they're a young couple who just found out they're knocked up. Randi has a good laugh at that one. Because unplanned pregnancies are a real knee-slapper. Napoleon notes the intricate choreography, and Randi says this routine has the potential for disaster. At least she's self-aware. "Halo" by Beyoncé. Argyle hoodie by Evan. Oh, jeez... it's like kids from Stagedoor Manor are doing hip-hop. Lots of smiiiiiiiles! Are the moves there? Yes. Is there anything beyond that? Decidedly not. I heart these two, but the flashy tricks at the end don't even divert attention from the awkwardness. Especially when Randi shoves her crotch in Evan's face at the end. I know it's not fair, but I can't help imagining how amazing this routine would be if Joshua and Katee had done it. Sigh... I still have occasional palpitations over "No Air."
Nigel jokes about all the weirdo choreography this season and jokes that she shouldn't be doing all the lifts at the end if she's preggers. He compliments Tabitha & Napoleon for not demanding some sort of fabricated urban-ness from the most White Bread couple of all time. He loves these two moppets, but let's be honest: Yikes! Mary, like me, was expecting a train wreck. She faintly praises them, but does note that she specifically looked at Evan for screw-ups, and he didn't eff up. So... good job? Tyce compliments Tabitha & Napoleon's storytelling because he has very little positive to say about the actual dancers. And his vague commentary and swimming motions prove as much.
, Janette and Brandon will perform an Argentine Tango from Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo. Brandon looks around nervously and snickers as he describes the tango as "pure sex." He is understandably fidgety, considering he and Janette have yet to capture their intimacy. The fact that she and the choreographers speak primarily in Spanish, which he doesn't understand, is no help. Cue the music: "Libertango" from Forever Tango (Original Broadway Cast Album). Side note: No offense to Forever Tango, but it's like choreographers on this show don't realize that tango was made for more than 100 years before that damn show hit the boards. But I digress... The tango begins. It's as sultry as it should be, all entwined and such. The eye contact is fierce, and Brandon is definitely in the lead. Janette does a lift where she flicks her legs in a delightfully spritely manner. (Aren't you glad I took 20 years of dance before writing this recap so I can characterize intricate choreography in such a haphazard way?) Overall, it's completely professional and skillful, if not entirely my cup of tea.
Cat throws to Nigel, who stays very quiet for a few moments before rising to his feet. Tyce and Mary follow in suit. Cat lets the kids give props where props are due: to the choreographers. Nigel says it's the closest any ballroom routine on the show has ever come to perfection. Cat moves onto Mary, and Nigel warns "If that train ain't comin', there's gonna be bloody trouble." Mary says it was outstanding, that Brandon has yet to disappoint her. She calls Janette flawless and upgrades them both to first-class tickets on the HTT. Screeching. Tyce calls them a power couple because of their attention to detail. Somehow their dancing is like making orange juice? Unreal. Wow, he's really trying to upstage Lil' C with the nonsense critique.
Before we get on to Round 2, Cat pulls the old switcheroo, telling us that week the dancers will pick new partners. Melissa gets surprisingly emotional when she talks about letting go of Ade. Ade's still got his magic Afro pick, so he don't give a what-what! For their final routine, the two of them will switch it up with a Ron Montez-choreographed waltz to Mary J. Blige's cover of "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman." Melissa really gets to exploit her ballet skillz and Ade keeps up with her by doing about 10 turns in a row. This routine couldn't be farther from disco, but they're killing it, too.
Nigel compliments and critiques them in very specific ways, meaning that it was spectacular. His only quibble: Ade didn't have enough rise-and-fall from his feet. Mary also loved it, but nitpicks that Ade missed a little power in certain moves, such as twinkles. Teehee. Power twinkles. She calls Melissa "mesmerizing" and says she's like a fine wine -- you know, since she's a Methuselan 29 years old. Mary says she'll be sad to see all the partnerships break up week. Nigel snarks, "Does that mean I get a break from you week?" Her response? "Pipe down, English Muffin!" You know she has been waiting, literally, five seasons to use that line. Then Cat segues by calling Tyce a "Brooklyn Brownie." Oh, dear. Let's not start with this... Tyce gives them both constructive critiques in very specific areas because he can't think of anything overarchingly bad to say.
Before they make their second appearance on stage, Kayla reveals that she'll miss Kupono's energy. For his part, Kupono will miss Kayla's sweaty, clammy hands and feet, which she'll use in a Broadway number by Joey Dowling. The dance is about love at first sight. Joey emphasizes acting, intention, and JAZZ HANDS! The music is "The Dance at the Gym" from West Side Story (The New Broadway Cast). It's classic Broadway stuff: smiley and big and JAZZ HAND-y -- and well danced at that. But... meh. Can they just do "Gravity" again?
Nigel says he was coming up in dance during the whole Jerome Robbins era and criticizes them for a lack of contraction, intensity and true emotion. He says they just danced the steps and didn't find their characters. He says he needs more. Cue boos from the crowd. Mary agrees that they didn't latch onto the style but thinks they did a good job regardless. She says they're a force to be reckoned with, particularly in respect to technique. Tyce, who Cat points out specializes in Broadway, says they weren't grounded enough to express the richness of the number. He does say he thinks they'll be sticking around for a while regardless.
Caitlin will miss Jason's hugs. Jason will miss her stupid jokes and general vivacity. But first they'll dance to a lyrical jazz routine by Mandy Moore. Mandy notes that this style is in both of their sweet spots, and they predict they will do really well. Mandy never lets us down by finding another song from the '80s to choreograph: Maria McKee's "Show Me Heaven," which appeared on the Days of Thunder soundtrack. I love how obsessed Mandy is with the '80s. I harbor suspicions that she actually lives there and just leaps forward, Sam Beckett-style to choreograph for this show. The piece is lovely, though I am distracted for most of it imagining Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman doing the dirty. Jason's pecs are working hard for the money, and Caitlin is nothing short of graceful. Still, they're still hanging in the shadow of Kupono and Kayla's first dance of the night, particularly in this style.
Nigel enjoyed it. He credits their hard work and Mandy's beautiful choreography, though he admits he doesn't always see chemistry between them. He wanly says it was technically very good. Cat takes the bait, asking Mary if she saw the chemistry. Mary says she does see chemistry but says the routine was missing magic. She wonders if it will be memorable. Tyce thinks they stepped up to Mandy's partnering challenges but warns them not to play it safe. In sum, it was not "Gravity." I'm sorry, but I pity the fool who follows a Mia Michaels routine. That shiz broke me and put me back together and broke me all over again. In the words of Rachel Zoe, "I die." Damn you, Mia Michaels for making me quote Rachel Zoe!
God bless 'em, Jeanine and Phillip are screwed again. After the Russian debacle, now they have to try their hands at the jive. Jeanine will miss Phillip's big heart. He will miss her positivity. Tony and Melody return to teach them, and there is talk of smooching, sailors and sass. Phillip notes some awkward groping moments in the dance. In any case, Jeanine hopes they do better on ballroom than last time. They're dancing to "Stuff Like That There" by Bette Midler. Phillip seems to be holding his own, he's by no means a master. And then. Oh. My. God. HE'S MOTORBOATING HER! This distracts him sufficiently to make him nearly fall in a subsequent slide across the state. From that point, he never really gets it back. She does some cartwheels. They do some tricks. And he wraps up with the same break dancing spinning, leg flipping thing from the Russian number, as if to say, "Remember! I'm talented at something! You love me! Don't vote me off!"
Nigel compliments the dance and its choreographers but adds a proviso that the dancers must bring the style to life. He looks dramatically at Phillip and takes a pause. He surprisingly says it's the best Phillip has been outside of his own style. He notes the slip and the nerves but says he came to life. And how could he not be without a partner like Jeanine? Nigel says he would be surprised if she doesn't make it to the Top 10. Mary echoes that sentiment and says Phillip surprised her. She tells America not to count him out. At Cat's prodding, Phillip admits that he had a couple of crashes during rehearsal, so it could have been worse. Mary selectively puts Jeanine on the HTT. Sorry, Phillip! It's steerage for you! Tyce, apropos of nothing, tells everyone to "call 1-888-FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC." Oh, Tyce... He says that Jeanine is a star, the choreography was awesome, and both of them were a great package. No one mentions the motorboat incident. But it happened. Never forget!
Before they dance their final number together, Randi says she'll miss some face Evan makes that is meant to imply wanting and needing but inadvertently implies mental handicap (this last part is my interpretation because Randi is way too nice to say anything like that). Evan says he'll miss laughing with Randi and wishes her partner well. But first, Randi will have to push her limits with a sexy samba choreographed by Pasha and Anya from Season 3. Yay Pasha! It must be noted that Randi, the girl with unitard pride, says she feels like a fool doing this dance. Yeah, honey. It's the shimmies and not your lycra onesies... Anyhow, cue music: Jubaba's "Ritmo de Bom Bom." They kick-start the routine with an eye-popping leap-lift combo. And you can tell that they are working their little Cabbage Patch asses off, but even with a strong ending, it's all still very Stagedoor to me. Again, imagine Benji and Heidi doing this. And they were cousins! (But boy could they mambo.) It's not a good sign when both of your routines just make people think of who would do them better.
Nigel gives the routine a big old "Hmmmmm..." In the '90s that would have been a compliment! He admits he doesn't see Evan as a hot samba king, whereas Randi is sexy regardless. Somehow the combination didn't come off, especially when he thinks about how hot Pasha and Anya would have done it. Word. Mary claims there was a slow sizzle. A choreographic cebiche, if you will. She does say it wasn't dynamic enough and that they need to find more fire. Tyce tells Evan to be a detective and find out what made others' sambas so much hotter. He says that Randi carried the piece. Poor Evan. Mary welcomes Randi onto the HTT and points Evan to the back of the bus. She is getting positively Mean Girls, that one. She natters on a bit more until Cat finally cuts her off -- about an hour and 45 minutes too late.
The final couple of the night is Janette and Brandon, performing a Wade Robson jazz. Eternal squee! Brandon will miss Janette's Cubana spiciness. She will miss having the best dancer in the competition as a crutch. At least she admits it. They go to rehearsal and, holy crap, I've never noticed how tall Wade is. A quick search tells me he's actually 6'4", but he might as well be 7' because he towers over both of them. Imagine if he had gotten Evan and Randi. He'd have to use a megaphone! They'll be performing a playful, cartoon-like dance to "Ruby Blue" by Roísín Murphy, Wade's perpetual muse. As you would expect, it's weird as all hell, and totally awesome. They're some sort of mod sunglass-wearing mime jewel thieves or something. It's rife with all the Wade Robson tics, his masterful quirkiness, and his ridiculously on-point musicality. I swear he could make absolutely anyone appear to be the best damn dancer on the planet -- not that they need the help. And then it's over before you know it, and you're wishing they'd canned all that filler video and just given Wade an extra minute or two to go berserk.
The crowd screams wildly, and everyone on stage starts to laugh once they notice Wade and his wife Amanda wearing the goofy sunglasses. Nigel says the tonight's performances proved that there is nothing they can't do brilliantly. He says that Brandon has succeeded by overcoming his likeability issues with the judges, but Janette has truly shocked everyone. She is a salsa dancer who has excelled in every genre, even with a better-trained partner. He calls them the night's best, hands down. Mary screeches in agreement. Lambert levels. Maybe even Gokey levels? Tyce says they "have that thing" and they always do what they need to do, excellently. He says Wade's choreography was inspiring and that this was a display of technical excellence.
My guesses for the B3: Randi and Evan, Jason and Caitlin, and Phillip and Jeanine -- because they got screwed. But don't you worry, kids, there is no way in Hell that Nigel will let the chosen Chbeeb go down without a fight. At the very least, he'd toss in some Idol-style save and be all, "What? You guys don't remember Cat mentioning that?" In any case, hasta la vista, Evan. And, unless she destroys it in her solo, I'm going to say that Randi is donning her last unitard on the national stage tomorrow.
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